[a/n] Enjoyed the reviews of #89, not much else on them. Just something fromFallow58 mentioning technical issues leads me to ask if anyone knows how to deal with a couple ffnet issues:

1]Keep getting the "Your email provider kicked back our email, fix the issue" message on my Account page. I've changed to another address, never got any notifications. Added the ffnet bot address to contacts; no effect. Did the same with my original email. Again no change.

2]None of my stories are recording views. Noticed it a few months ago; figured it would self-resolve. But no.

Sent both issues to the site Help link, but no answer. Any suggestions?

[a/n]AnotherJaketheSnake offering. Fit right in with #86

Harry Does Different DIVb

Bad Wheezes II

Ron will be less OK with it if he ended potioned by Millicent Bulstrode

"Hi Hemione! How ya doing?" Harry answered the floo at the Diagon Alley command center cheerily.

The young witch's face came into focus in the fireplace. It was smiling "Typical patrol? Ron out?"

"The powers-that-be don't believe we should be out together too much." He snickered lightly. Ever since the love-potion incident in Weasleys Wizarding Wheezes, the pair had adopted Moody-like precautions when speaking over the floo.

She understood what he hadn't said, replying "Probably good for you both. Getting to know the rest of the team. Oh! Bit of news, just found out myself. Don't tell Ron, I want it to be a surprise. The Confederation is hoping to expand magical cooperation so a half-dozen of us junior officials are going to meet our counterparts from other countries. Oh it's exciting! My parents, much as they wanted, never got to Jerusalem. I'm hoping they will be able to go."

"Sounds like a great time." Harry enthused. He also knew what else it meant, she would be far from any direct British sources. The testing they'd discussed weeks ago would be easy to arrange, even if Ron was with them; which wasn't likely. An he would be able to disclose his results obtained from a goodwill visit to Greenland. That thought only took a moment. Another message was buried in the simple "Can't wait to hear all about it. When do you leave?"

Hermione knew he understood "Friday. Is Ginny free to meet up for dinner before then?"

"For you? She'll make time. As you well know." He replied easily. There was nothing in his tone that a listener could take as problematic.

Abcij

There was one place in all Britain Harry could be sure of absolute privacy. The friends availed themselves of special privilege to wander their alma mater. And openly discuss Hermione's business and sightseeing to the Eastern capital of the Wizarding World. Originally filled with skeletons of assorted creatures devoured by the basilisk, the foyer of the Chamber of Secrets had been cleaned in the aftermath of the Battle of Hogwarts. The close friends confirmed BOTH were being dosed with love potions; considerably more insidious than those sold at the Wheezes'. Crying into his shoulder Hermione said "I love him, or I did, but I don't now! Oh Harry, I'm so confused."

"You don't have the dubious honor of Snape's lessons in Occlumency." He hugged her hard "The cleansing of the blood is most of the solution, but it helped me get rid of the fake emotions. I'll tell you this, next Dark Lord tries poking around in my head will lose his mind one brain cell at a time. Now, I've had more clear head time to think about what to do- -"

She interjected "You must goto Mr. Roberts."

"I've had a couple more weeks to think this through, knowing the full truth." Harry pulled away and sat on a boulder "And this requires a more direct approach. The Ministry just won't see this as important. Even asked a few with a lot more experience, strictly as a hypothetical of course. They laughed it off, even if they'd been the target."

She reflexively defended what was both their employer, snapping "It's akin to an Imerio! Surely- -"

"I am serious. And don't call me Shirley." Harry deadpanned, giggled, then waved her silent "Sorry, couldn't help myself. Only way THAT's going to change is if we make it to the top. And I don't plan to wait until …ohh… 2024… for justice on this. My response is quite jokeshopish in nature, and if I may say, Slytheriny too."

Hermione looked around "Well, no expulsion danger. I'm listening."

"I like that." He grinned "So, I wondered, girls talked about boys just as much as we did about you lot? Am I right?" after her curious nod continued "No surprise. I know about Lavender Brown, of course. And she might be my first choice, but since she's no longer alive, did anyone else crush on Ron?"

She frowned "I'm not sure I approve of where you are taking this, Harry."

"Just hear me out." He held up a cautioning hand "Hermione, I'm not suggesting anything that wasn't done to us. And exactly why I'm putting forward we only recruit the absolutely willing."

Reluctantly, she admitted "A considerable unrequieted love. Everyone from Padma Patil, to Lavender, to me got death glares from Millicent Bulstrode."

"Slytherin?" Harry was instantly amused "Scrawny? Mousy black hair?"

She nodded, also amused "Up until Fourth …that is a fair description. After though, I think she might have some of Hagrid in her. I'm shocked you don't remember. Millicent's hair added some red highlights, meanwhile adding two feet and almost two hundred pounds. I understand several teams are looking at her for Goalie or Beater."

"Oh that's beyond choice!" he was gleeful in a way that made him nostalgic for his First Year "We have GOT to get those two together."

Hermione began "That sounds like an extraordinarily bad ide - -" cutting herself off admitting "Hold a tick. He's an ex walking."

"That's the spirit, Mione!" Harry enthused "And my first offer for the affection of dear Miss Weasley is ….."

Abcij

The door of a Muggle home opened to reveal a black man no taller than the visitor, but with a massive belly and chewing on a cigar stub. After giving an inspection look, that was a bit inappropriate, asked curtly "Chu'want?"

"Hello, I'm Hermione Granger" she answered in introduction "Am I at the correct home for Dean Thomas?" She thought him a vast difference from her Housemate, but did not comment.

Waving her in, he called out "DEAN! GIRL FOR YOU!"

"Yeah Dad" the young man bounded down the stairs, a bit of paint on his face. In an instant recognized "Hermione Granger? Well this is a surprise. What can a peasant do for wizard royalty?"

She sighed "I might be a hero, but royalty? No. And not everyone thinks that much of me. It will change, just slowly."

"I'm not too worried about it." Dean shrugged uncaringly "There's a fortune coming my way, painting the whole war. For peace justice and security. I need to sell my art under a pseudonym that looks pureblood."

She frowned "Someday, soon, there'll be a Muggleborn Minister. Maybe me."

"And they'll give you a Nobel Prize for oppressed minorities." He sneered "Ain't it great, Dad?" then his tone changed "Sorry Hermione. Nothing against you. Didn't have a good couple years."

She nodded "I know. Mine took a drop not too long ago. Not professionally. That is going well. Even traveling the world to further progress. Did you know Israelis don't even use Latin for magic? It's Old High Hebrew there."

"Interesting. So what brings you here?" Dean's curiosity finally got to him.

After convincing him that his father should not hear, and admiring his soon-to-be sold pieces, the witch explained "Harry called it the monster-in-his-chest effect. I could see his body tense every time he saw you with Ginny. I experienced much the same while Ron was with Lavender, God rest her soul. He and I were both being dosed by a couple of very insidious potions. Something the twins created as a store novelty was based on the love and lust part. The jealousy component is a Molly Weasley invention. Seems she was every bit the potioneer that Professor Snape was. She thought Mr. Weasley was destined for wealth and power and latched on."

"Interesting tale, if true, and you're telling me because?" the lean young artist crossed and uncrossed his legs, a display of boredom.

Hermione correctly interpreted the falseness of the action "You truly loved Ginny. It wasn't just a teen crush or a desire to confirm she was a natural redhead."

"That's … That's" there actually was a visible blush in the black man's complexion. He tried to turn it around "Prim proper Hermione Granger making such sexual remarks? I'm calling Rita Skeeter."

She gave that an eloquent shrug "As may be. It took a bit of convincing, but Harry proved to me we'd never get any justice, legally. Or peace if we simply ended our Weasley romances, in normal fashion. So, we're turning the potions back on our tormentors. In the very near future THEY will break up with US."

"What are you doing?" asked Dean, visibly agitated.

She produced from her robes a flask of about a quart "Don't be fooled by the size. This is very much intended to be a lifetime supply, with room to spare, and accounting for our lifetimes. Stasis and preservation charms will ensure its freshness. It's what Harry started slipping to Ginny about a month ago. We thought you would appreciate the opportunity to redirect the affection your way."

"And who is being set on Ron?" he asked.

Hermione shook her head countering "What does that have to do with our proposal?"

"I don't think it's an unreasonable question." Dean shot back coolly. But the truth is that he did want his Hogwarts love back. In the face of her unresponsiveness, all he could do was sigh and nod "Fine. Whatever. I agree, Hermione. I'll want the exact amount to use, down to the microliter. How often. Side effects. Symptoms of any side effects. And a way to contact any knowledgeable healer to address them. Potter may hate Ginny, even for a good reason. I don't. You and he, however, will be as on the hook for this as me. And for life."

Abcij

Weeks later, neither could be too obvious about it, the main conspirators were back in the Chamber of Secrets talking secrets. And even still their phrasing intentionally created a reasonable doubt argument. Hermione asked the first relevant question "So was your recruitment drive a success?"

"If you'll forgive my French, old friend, I will quote The notion of mudbloods and purebloods spawning offends my sensibilities." Harry replied pitching his voice up an octave and adding a sneer to the tone. Then questioning "Your mission?"

She nodded "Some initial concern. Though agreeable once proper controls and longterm commitment to safety were agreed to."

"Actually really cares, huh?" observed Harry. His reaction was somewhere between regret and amused acceptance "Well, once they're out of our lives, I don't suppose we should be too showy about our opinions."

Hermione shook her head "About like we said before. Jilted ex statements; it's over, it was good while it lasted, their loss. Etc. Cast an occasional spiteful look at our replacement in public. Maybe a grumble to our favorite beetle for a couple months."

"That might be as good as actual jail time." He chuckled sourly "Anyway, as might be typical, my assignment took the caution with a bit more interest. Funny that. The Israeli Healer telling you that where the hair comes from changes how the potion acts. The head, a sort of intelligence connection. Must've cost the patient a few IQ points."

She laughed there "Feeling smarter again all the time. Or so I hear."

"Rita might get a PDA story out of my assignment. Big love might go a little …ahh… south of the border, as our guys across the pond would put it." He used a muggle turn of phrase that they didn't think British purebloods would grasp. Then again, Harry was sure some Surrey denizens might not, too.

Hermione's nose crinkled in disgust "Remind me to have someone leaf through The Prophet for any such pictures."

"For myself, I think I'll manage one last spin in the sack with Ginny." He gave a lecherous smirk "Quidditch players have LOTS of stamina."

That elicited a look of true loathing "On that note, it's time to head up. Maybe Malfoy will complain how we can't even visit Hogwarts without making the front page."

"A quick call to Luna will guarantee it." He quipped back with a laugh. And led the way out.