AEGIS was enraged.
The cores, in fact, had not been doing any satisfactory testing. They were undisciplined, rash, and downright stupid. The itch continued to grow and his patience continued to wane.
What would it take to get some decent test subjects down here?
He wished he had not threatened Wheatley's life. In hindsight, the core had not been much of a security threat, and AEGIS was upset with himself for letting his programming get mixed up like that. If the other core was still here, he could continue to test for AEGIS. It would have been a wonderful partnership.
He wondered if his new enhanced programming would remain intact if he were to transfer himself back into his original body. Could he share both bodies at once? Why not?
He could see if Wheatley was still alive. It was unlikely, but AEGIS was growing desperate.
He delved into his consciousness and took a look at his coding now embedded into GLaDOS's body. It was possible. He could be in both places at once. Would it drive him mad? Possibly. Was it worth it? Absolutely. He already was running the risk of madness, and that would not make him much of an effective security system, would it?
AEGIS concentrated and sent bits of code downward, much like water droplets. As long as he didn't spread himself too thin, the AI would be able to take a look at the systems of lower Aperture. Control them even.
Scanning.
Scanning.
Lifeform detected: Mechanical.
It was a threat, his old programming insisted. The core had shut him down many years ago with the help of a human test subject. He had to exterminate it. Yet...
His new enhanced programming told him differently. It was a threat, but not an important one. The core posed no threat to AEGIS or the facility at this juncture.
He continued scanning.
Three lifeforms detected: Organic.
AEGIS paused. Three? Was it possible Wheatley was among them? Had GLaDOS survived as well? He would have to rectify that. The corrupt Central core could not be allowed to live.
The real problem was how he was going to get the three organic lifeforms to upper Aperture. He maintained minimal control in lower Aperture, and if he risked sending more of his programming down there, the Central core could corrupt with him inside it, causing a catastrophic facility meltdown. The security risk was too great.
He wondered if he could capture their attention. He scanned for objects and hidden receptacles that could be remotely controlled. He paused as he came across something and an idea began to form. How exciting.
This could work.
Wheatley and Chell woke first and sat outside the office together, dangling their feet over the catwalk. The only sounds they could hear were the echoes of Upper Aperture and wind blowing through the caverns. It was rather peaceful, Wheatley thought.
He glanced at Chell from the corner of his eye, afraid to break the silence. Her hair was down, he noticed with a shock. She was absent-mindedly brushing her fingers through it as she stared into the abyss, deep in thought. Wheatley had never seen her with her hair down. It was strange. Not in a bad way. Just... strange.
He opened his mouth to say something about it and immediately closed it, willing himself to be silent and enjoy the moment. He was finding it easier to control what came out of his mouth now that he had some practice. The human body took a little more effort to send a thought from the brain to the mouth, whereas in his mechanical body, the data transfer was instant. He could stay silent now if he had to.
Silent and at peace. Wow.
"Got any bullets?"
Chell and Wheatley twisted around to see a defective turret hobbling toward them. Wheatley gaped as the turret stopped at the catwalk and blinked at them.
"Got any bullets?" it repeated.
"Uh... I'm not much of a turret expert, but I didn't think those things could walk on their own," Wheatley scratched his head. "That's why I made those 'boxes with legs' to test for me. Remember? They were pretty bloody stupid but-" he cleared his throat as Chell gave him a withering look. Best not to bring up the past more than he had to.
"Come with me," the turret spoke.
Chell's eyes widened and Wheatley was mildly disturbed. This was new. "What do you mean, come with you?" he asked.
The turret clarified, "Please come with me."
"That did not answer my question."
The turret wobbled a bit, seemingly trying to decide whether or not to venture onto the catwalk. Its spiky little legs could easily get caught in the holes if it tried. "Will you... please... come with me," the turret tried again, its voice deepening somewhat.
Wheatley shivered, "Best not. This guy is way creepy."
Chell folded her arms, staring the intrusive little machine down. She said nothing.
"Whaddya want, mate? We don't have any bullets for you if that's what you're thinking," Wheatley said.
"No bullets. Need... help," the turret's voice deepened even lower and slowed. Something was definitely wrong with the guy.
Chell shifted, curiosity piqued, "Why do you need help?"
The turret looked sad, its eye lowered, "Dying."
"You're dying?" Wheatley asked.
"Dyinggggg," it droned on. "Please... heeeelp."
Wheatley got to his feet, "I suppose I could see what it wants."
Chell followed his lead but continued to glare at the defective turret. "I'm not letting you out of my sight," she said. "We can check it out together and see what's up. If there's a problem with other robots down here, it could have something to do with AEGIS."
"I think you're just looking for an excuse to be at my side," he grinned. Her glare told him everything he needed to know. He blushed and adjusted his glasses, "Nope, not funny, sorry."
"If I let you go by yourself, you'd get lost down here and then we'd have to look for you. GLaDOS would be livid," Chell looked over her portal gun and powered it on.
"Who cares? The woman is psychotic. You realize that if we take Aperture from AEGIS and she gets her mainframe back, she's gonna crush me for real, right? She can't wait to kill me," Wheatley said bitterly.
"She won't."
"She absolutely bloody will!"
"Wheatley," Chell's voice was stern, "You should remember that we're all on the same team."
"Oh, I forgot you two were besties now," Wheatley rolled his eyes. "The potato and the human teaming up to take down the harmless British-"
Before he could finish his sentence, she smacked him on the arm with her portal gun. Hard.
"Oww!" he rubbed his arm, "Fine, fine! We'll check it out together." Wheatley retrieved GLaDOS's portal gun from where she was still dead asleep in the office, and the two followed the hobbling, dying defective turret together.
What could go wrong?
It was working. Wheatley and his unknown human companion were following him. It was slow-going, of course. The busted turrets were never meant to be mobile, but AEGIS made it work.
Slowly. Slowly. Slowly.
AEGIS was growing even more impatient, but it would be worth it. The humans were curious about him, willing to follow him anywhere. He wondered what had become of GLaDOS, but if he inquired about her, they would likely catch onto him. AEGIS could dispose of her later.
Just a little closer and he would have two lovely new test subjects to work with.
"Where are we headed, mate?" Wheatley asked. AEGIS could not shift his borrowed turret body to look at them, but he could tell the former core sounded suspicious. The woman had been remarkedly silent and he found himself unable to read her.
"Almossst... therrrre..." AEGIS droned. Control over the defective turret was difficult. Speech made it much harder to concentrate.
"You know, if you'd just let us carry you, we could have been there already," Wheatley responded.
"Here."
The catwalk ended and there was nothing but a black abyss beyond it.
"Uh... yeah. Nothin' there," Wheatley peered out. AEGIS heard the former core whisper to his companion, "I think his circuits fried a long time ago. This was a waste of time."
AEGIS was giddy, "It was not."
Suddenly, mechanical arms shot out of the abyss and snaked around the humans' appendages. AEGIS dropped his control over the turret's motor functions and focused on controlling the arms. He had them.
"Hey! What is this?!" Wheatley squealed.
The woman seemed more calm, but angry as well. "Must be AEGIS."
"You know of me, but I do not know you," AEGIS spoke through the turret, "However, you have a portal device, so I am certain you will make a fine test subject. You look like one."
"You'll be sorry!" Wheatley yelled, attempting to dislodge an arm tangling around his upper body. "This woman is Chell! She's GLaDOS's worst nightmare. She destroyed her and she'll destroy you too, I promise you that!"
Chell. The name did not sound familiar to AEGIS. He would have to sift through GLaDOS's databanks for information. "How intriguing. I look forward to it," AEGIS spoke.
Chell grunted but said nothing.
The elevator AEGIS had summoned finally arrived, ready to bring the humans up. But first...
He tightened the mechanical appendages around the humans' necks, careful not to do any lethal damage. Just tight enough to cut off their airflow.
The two struggled, turned blue, and fell unconscious. He tossed them into the elevator and sent them on their way.
On their way up to him. How exciting.