Cowritten by PuniPuni
Story is also published on AO3.
"It's official, we're going out!" Lizzie had announced to the house she entered.
Almost two weeks have passed.
"Well, that didn't take long!" Replied Lizzie's mother. "You kids and your easy commitments… How did it go?"
Lizzie giggled. "He's a really sweet boy. I'm surprised he never had a girlfriend before."
Lizzie, noticing her father was home for the night reading the paper, asked a question to her mother.
"Hey, where's Bonnie?"
"Oh, she's out with Clyde again. She still hasn't figured out what the catch is on his interest for children."
"That man? He's probably just trying to flirt with Bonnie or something."
"Oh, he is," her mother replied with a giggle.
"What?" Lizzie interjected.
Late at night, Clyde drank himself away at the bar he and Bonnie attended.
"You're, like, a heavyweight or something. You keep drinking and I'm just… here."
Clyde chuckled to himself. Bonnie sat next to him, giving him a sly smile.
"Tell me… why do you love children so much?"
"What? What do you mean?" he laughed as he shook his glass of whiskey.
"There's got to be some sort of catch. What is it?" Bonnie implored as the bar tender poured another drink into her glass.
"What catch? Like, I've always wanted to have kids".
"What do you mean? Why?"
"Because they're so…" Clyde paused to gesture his fingers into a squish motion. "They're so cute… Raising a family? The dream."
"Cut to the chase. You want to use them as slaves?"
"No."
"You want to continue the heritage of your last name?"
"No."
"You want to brag about your kids as a trophy?"
Clyde chuckled. He put his glass back on the bar stool, gazing at Bonnie with a cheeky smile. "What's into you, man? Can't you just accept the fact I love kids?"
Bonnie frowned. "No, I really can't."
"Do you know how precious it is being a dad?" Clyde started to cry. "Playing catch with your son? Teaching him skills? It's like, you get to be a kid again too."
Bonnie's eyebrows raised. She was perplexed over what she just heard. "I don't believe it."
"Hey, you insisted to pay for my drinks, I don't care if you don't believe it," he prattled.
Bonnie pinched the top of her nose. She adjusted her glasses. She leaned closer to whisper to the drunk man.
"We're adults, we hate kids."
Clyde gasped. "We?! Who is we?! You don't know me, man! You don't know me!" Clyde expressed with such drunk passion as he almost started to cry. "Your little brother is the cutest. He's super shy… but he clings onto you. Like, is that not precious to you?"
Bonnie felt slightly guilty. She realized that lying about how she saw children made her feel bad inside.
"Hey, I didn't mean that. You actually want to become a dad one day?"
Clyde nodded.
Bonnie still had her suspicions, but for now, she was going to believe that this man had a kind heart. Maybe he thought he was doing the right thing, but eventually there was going to be some sort of catch. Bonnie remembered what she was taught. She was built to spy. However, she was built to protect, too.
"You're a good man, Clyde. Not many people are like you."
"Ohoho. Are you sure about that?"
Bonnie tilted her head.
"Do you know how many chill dudes I know that just… want to get along with all folks? Kids or not?"
The woman hesitated for a moment. "Elaborate."
"We live in such a divided world. We're all human, aren't we?"
"Listen, Clyde. You're getting too deep. It's getting late. Do you want me to drive you home?"
"How're you not wasted?"
"You're avoiding the question."
"No, I'm not. I just want you to be safe, Bonnie. You've drank too."
"Not as much as you. Come on, let's get you out of here."
Bonnie held the hand of Clyde to guide him to the exit of the bar. He wobbled as he walked, but made it far enough to not trip. She continued to squeeze his hand as she walked him to her car.
"I can drive you to your car in the morning," Bonnie mentioned as he looked at his own car they passed.
"Ah— no."
Bonnie entered the driver's seat. "What do you mean, 'no?'"
"I can't go back just yet. My parents will totally get mad once they smell me."
That was right: parents. Bonnie lived with her parents even though it was frowned upon in her society for her age. Clyde was exceptionally one of those people too. He was a fantastic artist that studied illustration. His parents had mixed opinions on his career, as they were worried it was not a real profession to make good money from.
"You'll be fine," Bonnie suggested.
"No, please! Protect me from my parents!"
Bonnie's eyes widened. She realized that sentence is something kids say. She was programmed to protect. This instinct overcame her.
"OK, fine. I don't know if my siblings will like that, though."
"Oh geez. You're a life saver."
Bonnie safely made her way back to the DeVine house. Lizzie had opened the door when she saw the car lights beam through the windows. She came outside.
"Bonnie! You're home!" She shouted. She immediately hesitated by throwing herself back when she saw the man come out from the passenger seat. "Whoa. Is that Clyde?"
Clyde smiled softly upon seeing Lizzie. "Oh my goodness! Is that Lizzie? Your little sister? Oh she's so precious! Just look at her!"
Lizzie took a few steps back. She locked eyes with Bonnie for some reassurance.
"Lizzie, I can explain."
"YOU BETTER!" She shouted.
"Clyde's drunk. He told me if his parents find out, he'd get in trouble. And… I felt something inside of me to respond to that to protect someone from his parents."
"But he's an adult!" Lizzie protested, stomping her foot. "I wouldn't feel safe if you brought him inside!"
Bonnie waved her arms out. "No no no! I promise to keep you safe!"
"I'll get Mike if you bring this man one step closer to this house! You know what he said about adults!"
"Lizzie, please!" Bonnie begged.
"Mike?" Clyde interrupted. "Ooooh, Mike? He's so… precious! That little boy, so shy…" he brought his hands to his heart as he was speaking. "He's the cutest little toddler. Like…" Clyde started to close his eyes and trip. Bonnie caught him. She awkwardly smiled back at Lizzie. The little girl crossed her arms.
"MIKE!" Lizzie shouted.
The little boy carefully peeked outside once he heard his name. He hid himself to poke his ear, then came bumbling outside.
"Who is this?! Why is there a strange man here?"
"Mike, this is Clyde. You've met him before," Bonnie grumbled while gritting her teeth.
"Yeesh! Look at the little man. He's so angry!" Clyde started laughing.
"Bonnie, don't you dare bring this… sickly adult into this house!"
"Sickly? Like… I don't think I'm that hideous, little dude."
"I'm serious! You better get his drunk butt off of our driveway this instant! For my sake, and Lizzie's sake!"
"But he's going to get busted by his parents!"
"Do I look like I care, Bonnie? He's an adult! Just look at him! I don't want to see that man touch Lizzie nor I!"
"Crazy vocabulary for a little dude," Clyde began to chuckle. "It's like, all his shyness faded away. You're a brave little squirt, you know that?"
Mike pointed his finger directly away from their house while gritting his teeth in anger. "Get him out of here! Now!"
Bonnie nodded nervously, shoving Clyde to the passenger's side again. She went to the driver's seat, then started to drive away, nervously looking at her two little siblings. Eventually, the car left Lizzie and Mike's sight.
"Does drunk mean sick?"
"Well, all adults are late stages of the virus they all have. But drunk just means he had… alcohol, that's all."
"What's that?"
"I'll tell you about it inside."
Bonnie had not returned from the night. Lizzie was starting to become worried. She sat down on the couch in the living room to turn on the television to watch some cartoons. Seeing the sulking girl, her mother came to approach her.
"I hear the carnival is in town, why don't you ask that boy Nigel to take you?" her mother asked patiently.
Lizzie was right. That would be a great place to relax and have fun with the kid. Not only did Lizzie enjoy her mission of getting close with a human child, she enjoyed the culture and norms of Earth. She was so invested in kid Earth culture that she could not wait to participate in these activities as soon as she was given the opportunity to.
Lizzie sent a letter to Nigel that would inform him that she would call him from the emergency alert when she was ready meet up with him. It was his request as well, as he expressed a lot of hesitancy about letting his friends know they were together. It was an understatement to say that he was embarrassed.
"Hi Nigie~!" Lizzie put on her facade when the boy flew to her with his jet boots.
"Hi Lizzie, dearest~!" Nigel landed gracefully to see her at the front of the carnival entrance. He reached his warm hand out to hold hers. He leaned his head close to her with a sweet smile. She smiled back.
Nigel loved carnival games. There was a sweet chance to be romantic to Lizzie as well as impress her with his skills in games, winning her a toy bear in the process. It was flattering for Lizzie to say the least, as he proved his worthiness in skill to the best of his ability. She even received a kiss.
Lizzie and Nigel would eventually try to go on different rides together, as she informed him she has never been on carnival rides before. He wanted to make her have the best experience, so he was patient when she hesitated to try them. She was told they made some kids dizzy and even throw up. Fortunately, Lizzie had strong resistance to dizzy rides. This impressed Nigel.
They would continue to hold hands as they talked to each other. Lizzie could clearly see how warm and happy he was on the inside.
Suddenly, Nigel let go of Lizzie's hand. He turned around sheepishly.
"Hey Numbuh 1! How's the mission?"
"Oh, uh, hello team," he stammered with a shaky giggle.
Lizzie obviously knew who these four other kids were. She was told about them before. Noticing Nigel's hesitancy, she assured him that she was not going to feel embarrassed about being a couple around them.
"Aren't you gonna introduce me to your friends, Nigie?"
"Yeah Nigie," the girl with the red cap taunted.
"Erm, sure. This, um, is Lizzie?" He faltered as if it were a question. Lizzie waved politely to his friends, feeling happy to finally meet them.
The two boys would start to mock Nigel.
"Nigie's got a girlfriend!" They shouted while holding their hand together near their face.
"I do not!" He sheepishly replied.
Waving his hands in the air, Nigel protested this idea as the two boys circled around and started singing.
"Nigie and Lizzie sitting in a tree…" they sang. Lizzie has heard this one before. It was sweet in this context at least.
She put her hand on his arm to reassure him while giggling about it. "It's OK Nigel, you can tell them we're going—"
"Home!" he interrupted. "What a good idea! Well, see you around, Lizzie!" He nervously started to walk away from her as the boys continued to sing mockingly.
"Hold it, Nigel!" Lizzie stopped him by grabbing his arm. "You can't say we're going out when we're alone, and then deny it in front of your friends!"
"I never did that!" He objected.
"You just did!" she countered.
The two exchanged a few "did nots" and "did toos" as the two boys sang. The two girls watched them argue back and forth.
"Really, guys! I never said we were going… out out!"
Lizzie gasped. She grabbed Nigel's sweater, pulling him forward to her. In the heat of the moment, Lizzie became angered.
"We'll see who's going out out!" She growled, pushing him back and into the mud.
Lizzie knew Nigel was sheepish about having a girlfriend, but she did not think he would deny it right in front of his friends, especially after holding hands for so long. She started to walk away, grumbling to herself about Nigel and just a little bit about the mission.
She abruptly left the carnival, confused about how she was going to handle this. Even if she was acting in front of Nigel, she still felt angry about being brushed off by him. This was her human to study!
Lizzie made it home to see her mother watching television. Mrs. DeVine had obviously came to look worried for her daughter.
"Oh, Lizzie, what's wrong?"
"Nigel refused to acknowledge we were going out when I met his friends! It's no fair!"
"Aww, don't take it that bad! You got to meet the rest of the team!"
Lizzie hopped up on the couch to lean herself against her mother. "Yeah, so what? Nigel gets too embarrassed to be around me in front of them!"
"Well, what's that you have there?"
Lizzie pulled out the large teddy bear Nigel won for her. "He… won this for me."
"That's so sweet of him, Lizzie! That just tells me he cares about you! Bonnie would love to hear that."
Lizzie's posture straightened up when she heard her older sister's name. "Bonnie? She's home?"
"Yes, she's in her room," her mother answered.
Lizzie rushed to her older sister's door. She did not bother to knock, opening the door swiftly. She saw her older sister face down on her bed, her arms over her face.
"Bonnie! Where were you this morning?!" she wanted to argue, but it came out as a plead for an answer.
"Oh, hey Lizzie." Bonnie lifted her head up slightly. "How was the fair?"
"It was great!" Lizzie held up her teddy bear. Then she frowned. "Until Nigie refused to acknowledge we were going out in front of his friends! He's embarrassed by me!"
Bonnie looked down at Lizzie's feet. She took a deep breath, then lifted her head up to face Lizzie. "That's nice he won that bear for you. That's really sweet."
"But Bonnie, where were you this morning?"
Bonnie hesitated. "I took Clyde to a hotel," she whispered.
Lizzie took a step back, shocked at what her sister just informed her about. "What's a hotel?"
"It's a place where— look, it doesn't matter. Just please don't tell any of the operatives about this, OK? I needed to protect him! The instinct overcame me!"
Lizzie tilted her head slightly at what her sister just mentioned. "Do you mean… the programming?"
Bonnie rolled her eyes. "Yeah, that. Look, I'll make it up to you," Bonnie explained as she rose from her bed to reach for her night stand. "I got these magazines for you. Mom told me she wanted you to learn to read more, so I got you the best option."
Bonnie handed Lizzie a small stack of magazines with a defeated expression. Lizzie grabbed them with one hand as she had her other wrapped around the bear. She looked at Bonnie one more time, then decided to leave the room.
"Thank you…?" came out of Lizzie's mouth more like a question.
"What are you reading?"
Lizzie jolted hearing the toddler's voice above her head while she was lying on the floor. He must have snuck into her room without a sound.
"Bonnie got me these magazines."
"Uh-huh…" Mike crossed his arms, stepping his foot away from the sheets of paper. "Those things are infected with cooties!"
Lizzie stopped looking at her magazines to sneer at Mike. "What?!"
"Yes, cooties. The event of the cross mix of human boys and human girls."
"That sounds stupid! I've held Nigie's hand today and nothing happened!"
"Yuck! You call him that?"
"Yeah!" Lizzie mocked. She picked up a magazine to wave it in front of Mike's face. "You scared, Davey?"
"G-get that thing away from me!" Mike backed away while waving his hands in front of him. Lizzie promptly threw the magazine right onto Mike's face. He panicked and threw it off, giving his fair share of disdain to compliment it. He then stopped suddenly. He noticed the page it opened to. Peaking his curiosity, he came closer to the page on the magazine.
"Boyfriend helmet? What is this?"
"I don't know," Lizzie shrugged genuinely.
Mike creeped toward the magazine and decided to read it. His eyes dashed across the page full of letters.
"Do you know what this could mean?"
Lizzie squinted her eyes at him. "No."
"It means you can easily take control of Numbuh 1's brain using this device! And you can easily manipulate his loyalty to the Kids Next Door! Lizzie, you must do whatever it takes to melt that helmet onto his brain!"
Lizzie picked up the magazine. She started to read the description.
"Hey! That's not a bad plan," Lizzie chuckled with a devilish smile on her face. "Where can I get this… boyfriend helmet?"
The next day had passed. Nigel was looking forward to getting new comics with his friends.
"Man, it's good to get out of that house for a while," Numbuh 4 referenced to the scolding he received after criticizing Lizzie from yesterday.
"And just in time for new comics day!" Nigel expressed with a hint of excitement.
"Yeah! I'm gonna get the new Flying Yipper!" Numbuh 2 mentioned.
Numbuh 4 chimed in. "I'm gonna get—"
"Tagged!" Numbuh 2 interrupted, pressing both his hands against Numbuh 4's head. "You're it! Race you to the corner!"
"You're on!" Numbuh 4 cheered.
Numbuh 1 watched his two friends race to the corner of the sidewalk, as he kept trotting along innocently. Eventually, he caught up to the two panting from racing. "I win!" Numbuh 2 cheered, out of breath.
Nigel became caught off guard when his teammates would stare at someone to their right.
"Hey Numbuh 1," Numbuh 2 started to chuckle a bit in his tone. "Here comes your girlfriend!"
"Kissy Lizzie!" Numbuh 4 chimed in, mocking his friend. He made kissing noises while holding up his hands.
Nigel growled at him, lunging at Numbuh 4. "Why, you—!" He charged, but was imminently stopped by the presence of his girlfriend. "Hi, Lizzie!" he stammered.
"Hi Nigel," the girl tilted her head down to emphasize her innocence. "Look, I'm sorry about yesterday, and I wanted to make it up to you," she apologized as she turned around shyly, expressing the cute side of herself which Nigel was vulnerable to.
However, Nigel was more focused on the two boys behind him, giggling to themselves about how he had a girlfriend.
"With this gift!" Lizzie exclaimed, holding it up to her boyfriend with a wide grin.
Nigel was surprised. He was not expecting such a gesture from her. His emotions became more suppressed in the presence of others.
"Ah? I, um, I don't think…" he was trying to find the right words, but the distraction of the two boys behind him made Nigel lose his train of thought for a moment.
Numbuh 4 whispered to him "Take it!"
Numbuh 2 whispered to him "Dude, that's so cool!"
"Well, OK. Thanks I guess," he mentioned lightly, appreciating the gesture, but now curious about what was inside.
He opened the box to find a contraption he was unfamiliar with. He took it out of the box. "Uh, thanks! I always wanted… whatever this is."
"Why don't you try it on?" Lizzie suggested, pitching her voice higher.
"Um, I think I'll try it on later!" Nigel suggested back, cautious of his friends behind him and wishing to go to the comic book store instead.
However, he was met with the puppy eyes of Lizzie, who put her hands together to beg him to put it on. "Come on, please, Nigie? I wanna see…" she pitched her voice high up to strike the heart of her boyfriend, who felt a wobbly smile appear on his face.
"Well… well… all right," he decided, despite the fact that his friends were giggling behind him. He put the helmet on his head. "How's that?"
"Perfect!" She cheered.
Nigel then turned back around to his friends, as he immediately wanted to get back to what he was doing. "OK guys! We are out of here…" confirming he was still motivated to go the comic book store.
However, Lizzie was thinking about how easy her mission was going to be. She could go back to space and be praised by the galactic operatives for getting a mission done so quickly and skillfully. This fantasy about her accomplishment made her laugh to herself devilishly, taking out the controller for the helmet and adjusting it to her liking.
The shock that was signaled into Nigel's brain forced him to speak in a stammering manner that was whatever Lizzie wanted him to say. He started to shake as he spoke.
"I'll catch you guys later!"
The two boys began to look confused at this gesture. "Are you sure, Numbuh 1?" Numbuh 4 asked.
"What about the comics?" Numbuh 2 suggested.
Lizzie increased the intensity on the control to allow Nigel to forcefully move instead of talk. He continued to stammer even more.
"I'm going to hang out with Lizzie instead!" he replied robotically.
Not addressing his sudden change in behavior, the two boys shrugged it off.
"Whatever."
"Fine by me."
Lizzie pitched up her voice in innocence. "Ready to go, Nigie?" She asked as she turned the dial once more.
A forceful "yes" came out of Nigel's mouth. Lizzie grabbed his arm to gesture him to walk with her.
"Where are you taking me?" He asked with constant voice cracking.
"Oh, I'm not taking you anywhere!" Lizzie prodded as they walked off, leaning against him. "You're taking me on the most romantical date ever!"
"Yes, Dear!" Nigel continued to stammer.
This was going to be the bridge to melt his head into the helmet so she could bring him right to the Galactic Kids Next Door.
Nigel's controlled mind took Lizzie to a fancy restaurant called Le Ball du Shane for the evening. His body was still shaking from the process. All Lizzie had to do was woo him more and get his skin to shift onto that helmet. She was so close that she could feel it.
"Oh Nigel! It was so sweet of you to bring me here. This is the most romantic date I've ever been on!"
Lizzie then remembered what Nigel had addressed about going to the fair earlier that day. It was not a date.
"It's the only date I've ever been on, but still."
The waiter had brought over the special for the both of them. "The Lover's Special," the waiter said.
"Oh, goodie! I can't wait!" Lizzie had found the heart shape of the steak to be quite charming, and would love to be spoiled with expensive food for the first time.
"Ah, so cute! Just like us!" She almost joked. "Before you know it, we'll be going steady, then we'll get engaged, and then we'll get married!" she lied. Thinking ahead, she would stomp her fists to throw in some truth. "And you won't ever see your stupid friends ever ever again!"
"But I like my stupid friends!" he frowned as he had food in his mouth.
Maybe the controller would bring him back to speed. Lizzie turned the dial again, making Nigel jump out of his chair from shock to continue this date. "Yes, Dear! I will never see my stupid friends again!" he faltered through gritted teeth.
"Oh, Nigie! I'd knew you'd agree! I can't wait to redecorate that horrible treehouse of yours… We'll be so happy there," she lied.
"Hey, uh, maître dork, you got a table for five?"
Lizzie looked over to see the rest of Nigel's team armed and ready to fight.
One of the waiters came to interrupt them. "Uh, have you any reservations?"
"Not about kicking Kissy Lizzie's butt! Out of the way, chump!" Numbuh 4 growled, knocking the waiter down by charging at his legs.
Lizzie addressed the situation in front of her. "Nigie! Your horrible friends are trying to ruin our romantical date! DESTROY THEM!" Lizzie yelled as she turned the controller dial up high.
"Yes, Dear!" Nigel stammered as he jumped from his seat. He fell onto the table, gripping the edge while growling with food leaking out of his mouth.
Nigel began to start attacking his team, landing on Numbuh 5.
"Numbuh 1! You're being brainwashed! You got to fight it!" she yelled.
"You're just jealous!" He shakily muttered.
"Jealous?" Numbuh 5 quipped. "Don't hold your—"
The girl was interrupted when Nigel threw her across the restaurant and onto another table.
Nigel continued to rampage through the mind control. Numbuh 2 and Numbuh 3 lined up their bottle shooters to shoot at Nigel. Instead of being tied up, he grabbed the bottles and pulled them together, launching Numbuh 2 and Numbuh 3 to smash into each other.
"My hero," Lizzie laughed. To her, it was funny to say the least. She dialed up the controller once more.
"There's the shot!" Numbuh 4 shouted. He launched his T.A.N.G.L.E.R. at Numbuh 1, but he took a cloche to shield him, the net launching back at Numbuh 4.
"Numbuh 1! Stop! We're your friends!" Numbuh 3 interjected, standing atop a table.
"The only friend I need is my girlfriend!" Numbuh 1 announced as he quickly pulled the tablecloth out from under Numbuh 3 and wrapped it over her.
"Freeze, lover boy!" Numbuh 4 yelled. He shot his F.R.A.P.P.E. right at Numbuh 1.
Nigel used a set of utensils to block the icy shock, eventually finishing to carve an ice swan out of it. He reached it over to Lizzie, who was actually quite impressed with this skill.
"Oh, Nigel!" She gently grabbed it to hold.
"All right Numbuh 1, we taking you home now!" Numbuh 5 yelled, the rest of the team back on their feet.
Numbuh 1 growled, jumping onto the table. "Just try and take me!"
Numbuh 1 was immediately bombarded with ice, glue, nets, string, and bottles from the weapons his team launched upon him.
"Give him everything you got!" Until he was completely covered, Numbuh 5 would announce what the next step was. "We got him! Move in for target abduction maneuver!"
"Oh no! I won't let them take you Nigel!" Lizzie growled as she turned the dial to "Max Powuh."
"Uh oh. Run!" Numbuh 5 commanded as the mess that covered Nigel started to shake. Nigel then burst the mess open, launching utensils all over the restaurant, pinning his team to the wall with forks. He growled again.
Nigel calmly walked back to the table Lizzie was sitting at. He sat down on his chair.
"I'm sorry about that, now what were you saying?"
"I was just saying we're going to be together forever and ever!"
The waiter arrived with the check in his hands. "Pardon moi, monsieur. Your check." In which he placed upon the table.
Nigel continued to tremble as he picked up the check. "WHAT?!" he gasped. "How can you charge that much for a lousy steak?!" He planted his head on the table.
"It's, it's, it's, it's highway robbery!" he screamed as he trembled. The squeaks of the machine started to shriek.
"Uh oh," Lizzie realized as she hid under the table.
Overwhelming the effects of the helmet, Nigel yelled to the point where it burst. His head fell onto the table. "Ow…" His head was free from the helmet.
Lizzie came back up from under the table to see that her host had escaped her plan. She almost had him.
"Don't ever use one of the those things on me again, Lizzie!"
"What are you gonna do now?" Lizzie asked genuinely. Nigel scanned the area to see that his teammates were pinned against the restaurant wall, exhausted and defeated.
Lizzie's mind raced. Her mission was a failure. If Nigel dropped her on the spot right then and there, she would have to break the news to the Galactic Kids Next Door about her failure.
"Um, wanna get some ice cream?" Nigel suggested.
The relief Lizzie felt was immense. She was so glad he still had his heart out for her.
They stood up from their table and held hands. As they walked out, they started to talk.
"I like pistachio ice cream," Lizzie informed.
"Really? Well, so do I!"
"You're neat, Nigel Uno!" Lizzie chuckled.
"I can't believe it! You were this close to getting Nigel Uno right to our door!"
Lizzie held her head down as Mike scolded her from across the empty kitchen table. She refused to look him in the eyes.
"But he got me ice cream!"
"I don't care about that! It frustrates me to think you merely had him, and you had to go so far as to take him to an expensive restaurant! There are other places to woo a boy, you know."
Lizzie closed her eyes. Mike continued to ramble on. Eventually, he would hesitate to speak. "Hold on, Lizzie. Yes, what is it? Not all hope is lost."
Lizzie lifted her head up, staring at Mike in the eyes. A spider was sitting atop his nose.
"Your story checks out, Elizabeth. Nigel's skill to defeat his entire team while armed with no 2x4 technology is impressive. Though under the control of a helmet, it was quite skillful of him nonetheless, which means that Nigel has the ability inside him to win against all four teammates if the situation calls for it."
"Phil?"
Mike lifted his chin up. "You should recognize me by now." The spider then crawled into Mike's hair. "You tried your best to contain him, but maybe it was for the better. Numbuh Aleph Zero would prefer more time being spent to analyze Numbuh 1. You are merely on the surface. Keep continuing your mission."
"Wait," Lizzie stood up from her chair to walk over to Mike. "Aleph Zero? I need to know more about him. We have never met. I need to understand this mission more! I have loads of questions!"
Mike stared blankly at Lizzie without a clue in the world. He tilted his head.
"Of course he's gone when I need him the most," Lizzie sighed.
Mike shrugged. He gestured Lizzie to walk into the living room. She saw Bonnie organizing a set of DVDs.
"Hey Lizzie! How was your date?"
Lizzie twiddled her fingers. "It could have been better. I almost had him!"
"Aww, you'll get him next time, Lizzie. I believe in you!"
"What do you have there?"
Bonnie looked at the poly-boxes, then back at Lizzie.
"These are DVDs! I rented some. Maybe we can watch some of them. These are movies that are about space and aliens!"
Lizzie grabbed one of the poly-boxes to stare at it. "What? I thought humans thought aliens weren't real!"
"Well, yes, but they came up with the concept. You should see how ridiculous these aliens look!"
Lizzie flipped over the case to see an "alien" that resembled a green human with a bipedal posture, big eyes, and a large head. It was not even clothed.
"This is insulting! Who comes up with these designs?! Are humans so self-centered to think this is what we look like?!"
Bonnie chuckled. "Well, what did you look like before coming here?"
"I-I looked like a plant," Lizzie mentioned as she shoved the insulting DVD away from her. She picked up another.
"Is that why you're so interested in them?" Bonnie changed the pitch of her voice to curiosity.
"You didn't know that…?" Lizzie put down the DVD box.
"No, I didn't. Dave never told us."
Lizzie was genuinely shocked. She was wondering if she could show Bonnie what she looked like for real. She continued to browse the DVD collections.
"…Do any of these aliens look like you?" Bonnie inquired as she handed Lizzie another DVD.
The girl continued to browse the set, never feeling satisfied by any depictions. "None of these even look like any of my fellow operatives. There are animals that more closely resemble them!"
Bonnie felt guilty that she brought Lizzie something that insulted her. She faced the ground, embarrassed.
"This one looks interesting!" Lizzie beamed. She held the DVD box up to her older sister's face with a smile. "It has a princess in it! And she's a pretty human!"
Bonnie continued to stare at the living room carpet. She was thinking to herself about what her little sister actually looked like.
"Bonnie?"
"Oh, I'm sorry," Bonnie shook off, listening to Lizzie. "Yeah, that movie is pretty popular! Do you want to watch that one tonight? There are more sequels if you're interested!"
Lizzie nodded. Bonnie brought herself to smile again, so she put that poly-box on top of the others beside the television countertop.
"Hey, Lizzie!"
The girl and her sister turned around to see who was calling them.
"Oh, hi, Grandma."
"Your boyfriend left this note on the door. He fled as soon as I came outside."
Lizzie's grandmother handed Lizzie a ripped up piece of paper. It had a message on it in Nigel's handwriting.
"I'm sorry about never taking you on a date. I promise next week, we'll go out. Your choice. Meet outside the treehouse.
Love, Nigel."
Lizzie giggled upon reading the last line had a "love" at the end of it. She was flattered that the human boy was drawn to her like that.
"What's that note say, Lizzie?" Bonnie asked politely.
"Oh, just some good news! Let's watch a movie…"
"Lizzie, we have a galactic order for you. It is within our best interest to see how you behave in front of Nigel."
Lizzie peaked up from the comic book she was reading. She pointed at one of the speech bubbles. "Mike, can you tell me what this word means?"
Mike shoved the paper away from his face. "Galactic order wants to see how you date Nigel."
Lizzie laughed. "Oh, I date him, all right. He's taking me out tomorrow. I have it all planned out! He told me to meet him outside of the treehouse."
"I'm aware," Mike acknowledged as he held up a note in front of Lizzie's face. It was the same one Nigel gave her six days ago.
Lizzie tilted her head away from Mike. "Wait, who gave out this galactic order anyway?"
"Numbuh Aleph Zero, of course."
"That's what I wanted to hear!" Lizzie darted up to grab Mike's hands tightly, pushing them away from his body.
"Tell me about Aleph Zero! I need to know more about this mission!"
Mike clenched his teeth as Lizzie stared at him right in his eyes.
"We shall not talk about Aleph Zero right now. He is not to be questioned. All we must do is follow his orders. That is why I'm letting you know what we need to see from you."
Lizzie rolled her eyes. She pushed Mike away. "Fine! Let's leave our leader a mystery to me! That's totally fine! Why does he get to talk to you, though?!"
Mike hesitated, twiddling his fingers. "Actually, Numbuh Infinity gave the order to me, who has had the time to give the order to you. I've never met Aleph Zero, either, Lizzie."
Lizzie was genuinely surprised by this. She knew Numbuh 74.239 was heavily involved with Earthly missions, but did not expect him to be left in the dark either.
"Never mind that, Lizzie. Galactic orders are galactic orders. We need to see upmost confidence in your mission. You need to express your interest in Nigel when you're being watched tomorrow. Do anything to get his attention. We wanna see pizzazz! Passion! Fireworks!"
"Fireworks? I want to use some fireworks!"
"Oh, never mind. It's metaphorical."
Lizzie devilishly giggled while grabbing for Mike's shirt. "No, I want fireworks! I'm showing Nigie how much I truly love him!" She chuckled sarcastically.
The next night, Lizzie looked for a perfect spot around the treehouse to set up her fireworks. She held a thumbs up to the onlookers, Numbuh 74.239 and Numbuh 71.562.
"I can't believe you let her do this," 74.239 groaned as he facepalmed.
"I calculate a 23.7 percent increase success rate of love in Numbuh 1."
"What do you know anyway, fifth grader?"
The two stopped arguing to see Lizzie cross her arms in the presence of the two. They understood her thoughts.
"All right, just continue with the plan," 74.239 waved his hand around. The two then hid inside one of the trees.
Lizzie lit the fuse. The fireworks exploded. The message lit up with swirling flames bursting from the sparklers.
"Nigel!" She called out. Noticing the G in her sign was not lit, she kicked the wooden board.
She stood on her tiptoes to try to look up as best as she could. She put on her best cutesy expression.
"Yoo-hoo! Nigel!" She shouted as she waved.
Four ropes came from above the treehouse and down to her. She could not hear what was being said, but she was disappointed to see the rest of the team but Numbuh 1.
Numbuh 2 had a hose in his hand that sprayed down the fireworks with water.
"Hey! Where's Nigel? We have a date tonight!" Lizzie wondered, looking for an answer.
Numbuh 5 waved her hands in front of Lizzie to protest her interjection.
"Lizzie! You got to be quiet! Numbuh 1 is sleeping!" Numbuh 5 whispered with the soul of yelling in her voice.
Lizzie did not care. She reached for her megaphone she brought as a backup to call for him.
"NIGEL! WAKE UP! I HAVE BEEN PLANNING THIS DATE SINCE—"
Lizzie was immediately interrupted by Numbuh 3 launching herself into the megaphone. She pointed her finger to Lizzie's mouth, shushing her.
Numbuh 5 decided to speak. "Ahem, why don't you go on a date with Numbuh 4 instead?"
"No way!" he protested.
Numbuh 5 whacked Numbuh 4 on the head with her fist.
"Sure. Great. Let's go," he responded dizzily from the hit.
Lizzie wanted to laugh at that suggestion. Her study subject was Nigel. Numbuh 4 was too stupid to be considered study material for the Galactic Kids Next Door.
Lizzie crossed her arms. "Nuh-uh! My heart belongs to Nigel!"
Lizzie could swear she heard one of the galactic operatives laugh right behind her.
"I understand," Numbuh 5 said slowly. "Go get Numbuh 1, Numbuh 4."
"But I thought you said not to wake him!" he countered. Numbuh 5 promptly whacked his head again. "Right. I'll go get Numbuh 1," he dizzily accepted.
Lizzie stared suspiciously at Numbuh 5. "Really?"
The group of them awkwardly awaited what was to become of "getting Numbuh 1." Numbuh 3 was looking around for something to do, and Numbuh 2 awaited awkwardly for him to arrive. Numbuh 5 whistled while waiting.
Eventually, Numbuh 1 arrived without Numbuh 4's presence.
"Oh! Hello Numbuh 1," Numbuh 5 greeted politely.
"Uh, yes! Hello to you, too! Erm, 5, um, from me! Numbuh 1!" he stuttered his sentences. The boy strangely had a different appearance.
"Nigie!" Lizzie cheered excitedly, bringing her hands up in the air.
"Hello, Lizzie—!" The boy was immediately interrupted from the girl reaching to his sweatshirt to grab it and drag him away.
"Come on, Nigie! We're going to The Point!"
"No! Anything but that! Please! I don't wanna die!"
Meanwhile, in the foliage of the trees, 74.239 awkwardly shoved 71.562. "Hey, Numbuh 1 looks different. His voice is different too."
"He must be tired," 71.562 assumed as he wrote on his clipboard.
"No, I mean it! He's shorter, and the texture of the top of his head is different."
71.562 looked up to see the boy that Lizzie dragged away. "Like I said, he's just tired."
"Explain his height then!"
"He looks about the same— look, 74.239. Numbuh 5 said she was going to get Numbuh 1, and she got Numbuh 1, OK?"
"I do not trust that—"
"I'm the fifth grader here!"
74.239 clenched his fists so tightly that his nails dug into the palms of his hands. "Let's just move on to Stage 2. Follow Numbuh Vine."
Upon noticing the three other operatives left to go back inside the treehouse, the two boys left the foliage to follow Lizzie.
"Oh geez, this isn't good at all! Look how much Numbuh 1 is protesting!" 74.239 argued. "You said this would increase the chances of Lizzie wooing him!"
"Relax, 74.239. She can take it from here."
Lizzie eventually dragged the boy toward the entrance of the roller rink on the high cliff. There was a big sign that presented its grand reopening.
"I do not want to do this!" The boy protested.
"Relax, Nigie," she chuckled while noticing the bald cap slipping off the short boy. "You'll have a lot of fun!"
She noticed the two boys enter the roller rink, cringing at the immense number of teenagers. Lizzie licked her thumb and pressed it down to cover the blond hair.
"Ew ew ew!"
"Come on, Nigie. Let's dance."
Lizzie seemed to move beautifully on roller blades. The boy's wobbly stance on the rink forced him to grab onto her so he could not fall.
Lizzie held his hand as she glided gracefully through the rink in circles. She had no trouble moving with wheels. It was like she could fly again.
"Wow, I'm genuinely surprised at how skilled you are at this."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Lizzie growled.
"N-nothing! I just did not expect you to know your way around a derby!" The boy was immediately interrupted by her grabbing his hand to spin him around in circles and figure eights. Lizzie laughed. She smiled as the wind blew against her hair. Despite touching the ground, Lizzie could dance like she used to. She felt the wind on the fingers of her other hand. She could almost feel her tendrils come back to her.
"How on Earth does Lizzie know how to skate like that?!" 74.239 asked to 71.562 from the diner table across the rink.
"Well, if you knew her species well enough, you'd be able to understand the instinct of her balance through floating, especially on such a light planet."
"Oh cut it out! How would you know that?! Neither of our species knows how to fly, let alone float!"
"It's just simple instinct! Combined with the velocity she is traveling at, she can clearly give herself the experience of floating," 71.562 bragged.
74.239 gesticulated, mimicking 71.562's words by rolling his eyes and making his hand talk.
"Can I help you two nerds?" The two boys were immediately interrupted by an angry teen boy who stood by his group of friends. "This is our spot!"
"Can't you see we're in the middle of some research here?!" 71.562 hissed.
"And can't you two dorks see that you're in our spot?"
The two hesitated. They were quickly grabbed by the teens who decided to bash their heads together. Then two of the other teens started giving them wedgies.
On the rink, Lizzie was giggling and laughing happily from this newfound feeling. She felt like she could glide across the air again.
"Are you watching, Nigie?"
The dizzy boy, holding onto the side, gave a thumbs up to Lizzie. She bladed across the rink to him with the most cheerful face.
"Since when have you learned how to skate like that? You were like, defying gravity!"
Lizzie shot up upon hearing that. She was scared he was onto her.
"Where did you learn to do that?"
Out of impulse, there was only one way to make him shut up.
"Ew! No! What are you doing?!"
Lizzie kissed him on different areas all over his face to make him shut up.
"Stop it! Stop it!"
Lizzie ceased the kissing when she noticed that the two galactic operatives from outside the rink had their underwear atop their heads. Teenagers were up to this.
"OK, OK! I can't take this anymore! I'm not Numbuh 1! I'm Numbuh 4!" The boy admitted as he slammed the bald cap to the ground.
Lizzie's quick reflexes allowed her to come up with an excuse.
"Oh, just let me live in the moment! We're here now!"
"No! Just take me back to the treehouse!" Numbuh 4 protested.
Lizzie looked behind him to see the two scientists struggle to get their underwear off their heads. 71.562 helped 74.239 lift it off his head first.
Lizzie picked up the bald cap to place it back on Numbuh 4's head. "All right, Nigie, let's go," she hurriedly rushed with her words.
"I'm telling you I'm not Numbuh 1–!" Numbuh 4 was interrupted by Lizzie grabbing him out of the rink. Shaking the skates off her feet, Lizzie slammed Numbuh 4 down to pull his off too. She fixed his sunglasses on his face, then tried fitting the bald cap down tighter. Hopefully, the two boys would still think she was with Nigel.
"Come on, let's take you back home!" Lizzie spluttered.
"But didn't you just say—" Numbuh 4 then screeched as he was yoinked by the girl again to leave before the two galactic operatives could notice they were gone.
Lizzie climbed up to the entrance of the treehouse while grabbing Numbuh 4 the entire time. When she saw the open door, she came to notice a mess of that was going on inside. Two eccentric villains were being dealt with by Sector V. Numbuh 2 was covering the face of a sickly man, and Numbuh 5 was pestering a pirate. A turtle shaped man had made his entry known bursting through the wooden wall.
"I did it!" he cheered after a laughter. He was shushed by all.
"Oh, sorry, but I, Professor Triple Extra Large, have created the perfect snow cone!"
"Snow cone?! Let me try!" Lizzie interrupted quickly. She never had the chance to try one, ignoring the boxes of candy all over the ground. When she and Nigel were at the fair, she immediately became curious about the frozen treat, but never spoke her mind about it.
Lizzie ran up to the reptilian man. "Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme!"
"Hey! It's mine!" He protested, shoving her away.
"Gimme that snow cone! Give it to me! I want it!"
"No no no no no no no! It's mine" He reached his hands that held the snow cone higher up so the little girl could not reach.
The two continued to bicker about the snow cone. Lizzie was parched from dancing all night, so felt like she deserved it.
No matter how many times Lizzie attempted to jump up for the snow cone, she could not reach it. She felt herself try to float as a last resort, but she was just a human.
Lizzie failed to realize that her arguing was being disruptive. The strange reptilian creature continued to protest her. She would pull on his tail and jump on his shell, as she thought it was a tight costume, but he was too big to let Lizzie even get a chance to touch the snow cone.
A creek in the doorknob was heard. Everyone in the treehouse gasped to take a look at what was happening. It was Nigel. His eyes were closed. He walked to the bathroom. Lizzie lifted her hand up to her ear to try to figure out what was going on. Numbuh 5 was the only one who came close to the bathroom door, listening in until he came back out. She waved his hand in front of his face. "He's sleep walking!" she whispered.
As Nigel exited from the bathroom, a man dressed in toilet paper emerged from the toilet to attack the bald kid. Numbuh 5 came closer to the reptile man, knocking him in the stomach to allow him to drop the snow cone. She grabbed it mid-air, then launched the frozen treat right in the track of the disgusting villain. It made him slip and fly in the air, as everyone including Lizzie watched in awe to see what would happen. Luckily, Numbuh 5 and Numbuh 3 readily grabbed a pillow in time to catch him in a soft landing.
The sleep walking Nigel closed the door to his bedroom.
"Man, that was close!" she said, relieved.
Nigel's door was cracked open. "Hey! Keep it down, Numbuh 5! I am trying to get some sleep here!" He demanded as he shut the door back in place.
Numbuh 5 groaned.
A few of the villains that were inside of the treehouse started to tiptoe away quietly. Numbuh 5 caught them in their tracks. "Nuh-uh! Numbuh 5 is not letting any of you go! You started this whole mess, so sit down! You're going to watch the Awards Ceremony with Numbuh 5! Capeesh?!"
The gathered villains that Lizzie failed to pay attention to circled around the couch. The huge turtle-shaped man was blocking the view from where Lizzie sat.
"Hey! I want to see my Nigie on the screen!" Lizzie protested, climbing up the green shell.
The adult giggled. "That tickles! That tickles!"
This shell was not a costume as Lizzie once thought. She scratched the carapace once more, making the strange man giggle and wag his green tail.
Numbuh 4 tossed the bald cap on the ground and came close to the large man who held Lizzie atop his shell. "Just so you know, I'm NOT Numbuh 1!"
Lizzie laughed nervously, unsure what to say in response.
"Hey! Get away from her! She's reaching my itching spots I've never been able to scratch!"
A nice save. Lizzie continued to grace her nails on the shell to distract him. "Whatever! Just don't get near me again!" Numbuh 4 demanded.
"All of ya'll be quiet!" Numbuh 5 badgered atop the couch, waving her hat around. "No yapping around! Got it?"
Lizzie rested atop the shell of the man, feeling especially tired from dancing all night. With her eyes half open, she lied down on her stomach with her hands drooping below. She rested her eyes, falling asleep immediately.