Sunday, July 22

He wasn't going to sue her. Darcy had said that, then left before she could respond. Lizzie turned back to the counter and picked up her dish and glass of water, but made no move toward her room.

What now? She'd vented about him over and over in her videos, all the while hiding their existence from him. She'd told him the truth only because he caught her filming and she was a pathetic liar. Now that he'd probably watched every last insult, she wanted only, desperately, to avoid him and pretend none of it had ever happened.

Kind of hard to do when they currently lived in the same house. Kind of cowardly even if they didn't.

It was time to stop being a coward. Time to apologize to Darcy, even if it killed her. And that was only a slight exaggeration. Choking on those words was a real possibility.

Lizzie set her jaw and started down the hallway, only to stop a few steps later with a hysterical snort. Now was definitely not the right time. He'd said he was going upstairs to shower. Knocking on his door with a swiftly-cooling bowl of curry in hand would exponentiate the awkward.

Back to the kitchen. She sat at the table mechanically spooning in her curry, dreading this apology. How would he respond? She could imagine him leveling her with that cold, disapproving stare. Or leaving the room without speaking to her. Or snapping, "Well, I would hope you're sorry." Or words to that effect, but with a lot more syllables. Or…oh G-, he was going to tell Bing. Of course he would. And what he would tell Bing…

Deep breaths, Lizzie.

Darcy reappeared as she finished her dinner. He hesitated briefly in the doorway, then busied himself with his own dinner. It was not until his back was turned that Lizzie could bring herself to speak.

"I'm sorry."

He straightened and looked over his shoulder. "For what?"

Of course he would make her say it. "You know…saying crap about you in my videos?"

"Apology accepted. Thank you."

Lizzie frowned when he promptly went back to rummaging through the refrigerator. That was all he had to say? Four clipped words? It grated, but she went on to the all-important question. "Are you going to tell Bing?"

That earned her a scowl. "I will not lie for you, Lizzie. I hate deceit above all things."

Anger and dismay tightened her jaw. There would clearly be no reasoning with him; he'd all but announced that he hated her. But she had to try.

"I'm not asking you to lie," she said, her voice tight. "I'm just saying, it was my idea to put Bing in my videos. Jane had nothing to do with it. You'll see that if you watch them."

"I know. I did."

"Then you saw that Jane really cares for him. I've never seen her like this before. She'll be devastated if he—." Lizzie would have gone on—she was not above begging when her sister's happiness was at stake—but Darcy forestalled her.

"Would you prefer that you and Jane tell him?"

"Yes!"

"Very well." And without waiting for a response, he turned away to start the microwave.

Lizzie stood and brought her empty dishes to the sink, then stared frowning at him as he stood in profile. He was clearly furious with her, and his attitude of moral superiority was stronger than ever. He was, as always, unbearable…yet he was being fair about Jane. He had apologized promptly this morning when confronted for insulting her. He had watched the—she had to admit it—much worse insults in her videos, and instead of holding a lawsuit over her head or even waiting for her to apologize, he'd informed her he would not retaliate. What was she supposed to think of that?

"Thanks for not suing me."

He looked up, hesitated, then said, "I would not have your future suffer because of an error in judgment."

Darcy was trying to protect her future? This was beyond belief.

"Furthermore, while I cannot guarantee Bing's reaction, he is the kindest person I know. That augurs well for you and your sister."

"'That augurs well?'" she managed. Seriously? She'd never even heard that one before.

His expression abruptly closed. "More fodder for costume theater, I suppose," he snapped.

The curt words stung. Clearly he thought her insincere and callous enough to keep doing the very thing she'd just apologized for.

"I'm not going to insult you in my videos after this. I promise. I can stop doing costume theater of you if you want, or even stop talking about you at all. My viewers won't like it, because they're kind of weirdly obsessed with you, but whatever. I—."

He made a derisive noise. "By no means suspend any pleasure of theirs."

"Look, I know what you're thinking," she said, voice biting in frustration, "but I can't stop vlogging and take the videos down! They're going to be my thesis project. I can't afford to throw away two months of work and start something new! All I can do is…is try to do better."

Lizzie braced herself for another sarcastic retort, but none came. Darcy merely looked at her, long and probing and inscrutable.

"I have not asked you take your videos down," he said finally. "I don't care what you discuss or portray in them. Indiscretions notwithstanding, you are clearly talented in that area."

He moved then, taking his food with him toward the door. At the last moment, he paused and turned to her. "After today, perhaps we should dispense with the illusion that either of us knows what the other is thinking." With that, he was gone.

Well, that was cryptic.

Lizzie remained there for a few minutes before deciding that staring at the empty doorway through which Darcy had passed wasn't actually helpful in understanding him. Shaking herself, she rinsed her dishes and put them in the dishwasher, then walked back to her room. She texted Jane, asking to see her when she returned from the wine tasting. Jane replied that they were about 30 minutes away.

So she waited, impatient and ever more worried. What would Bing think about the videos? She wasn't really afraid now of his anger. If Darcy wasn't even going to sue her, she definitely didn't need to worry about Bing taking revenge with his surgical tools. He still might not like being in her videos, though. And what if he watched them? They were fresh in her mind after her marathon this morning. Lydia yelling "Jackpot!" when he moved into the area. Her mother's stalking and convoluted plans. What had possessed her to put so much of that in her videos? Who could blame him if he freaked out and…?

Deep breaths again.

To distract herself, Lizzie set up her camera. Her filming session this morning felt like an eon ago now. What could she tell her viewers? She wasn't even sure what to think about the day's events, much less what she should tell them. Whatever she ended up posting, though, the tagline she'd filmed this morning would have to change. "My name is Lizzie Bennet, and I've figured out what William Darcy is good for" was definitely not getting airtime after today. Not when she obviously hadn't figured him out at all. Not when it turned out he was good for things other than being opinionated, things like being understanding and complimenting her looks and her talents. Like protecting her from the consequences of her "indiscretions," as he termed them.

"My name is Lizzie Bennet, and…". And what?

"My name is Lizzie Bennet, and today is the day I eat my words," she finally said. It seemed inadequate, and she kept the camera on, hoping for better inspiration. Then she heard footsteps approaching.

Caroline beat Jane up from the car. "Does he know about the videos?" she asked without any preamble.

"Yes."

She sat down beside her. "What did he say?" She sounded a bit breathless.

"About you? Nothing."

"About the videos. About anything."

"He's mad about the things I said, but he's not going to sue me. The videos weren't your idea, so I wouldn't think he's mad at you."

"But he did watch them."

"Yes."

Caroline looked to the camera, her expression unreadable. Then, without another word, she got up and left.

Jane arrived in the doorway just then, sidestepping to avoid collision with Caroline before coming to sit by Lizzie. "You wanted to see me? I wish you could have come today! It was—."

Lizzie interrupted her. "Jane, we've got to tell Bing about the videos."

%%%

I would love to hear your thoughts on Lizzie and Darcy's latest encounter—and on how you think Bing will react to Lizzie's videos!