After Elias Mills was hung, Jimmy. Lou, and Kid retreated back to the town's hotel. They had earned themselves a comfortable night, in real beds, before they began the ride back to Rock Creek. All three riders were exhausted, physically and mentally. Having no appetite for dinner, they turned in early to their own separate rooms. There was a time when Kid and Lou would have gladly shared a room and made good use of it. And though they were still friends and sometimes it felt like there was the possibility they could be more again one day, that time was not now. Lou may have buried her head in Kid's arm, her grief at the hanging overwhelming her. She had sought a short moment of comfort in the old familiar place. She told herself that was all it meant.
Right now the young female rider was tossing and turning in her big bed. It was early when she turned in but by now it must be late at night. The sounds of the hotel had grown quiet and only moonlight filtered in through the thin curtains that hung in the open window. It was concern for her friend that kept her awake. Not Kid. The doctor had seen to his wound and he would be fine. It was Jimmy. She knew his wounds went much deeper and were harder to define let alone heal. She tried to reach out to him after Elias died but he was cold and distant, the way she knew him to get when he was truly hurting. Of course there were other reasons he may want to avoid her company. Lying in bed, wide awake, Lou sighed deeply and brushed her fingers over her lips, remembering how her friend had kissed her. She knew he was just reaching out for comfort, like she had with Kid a little while ago. It couldn't be anything more and he had wanted to forget it as quickly as it had happened. But for Lou, it brought up thoughts and feelings that she buried deep inside.
Jimmy was one of her best friends and a person she trusted above most others. She loved him and with the time they spent together it was only natural that she have romantic thoughts about him, wasn't it? Maybe she felt a spark between them every now and then. Maybe once in awhile she thought there was something in the way he looked at her. It was probably just the regular care and concern that all her friends showed her. She was being a foolish girl even contemplating this. And then there was Kid to consider. She loved him too and probably always would. With all these thoughts racing through her mind, Lou knew she was not about to get a wink of sleep. She rose and dressed herself in her man's clothes. It was strictly against company policy for the riders to partake in alcohol, but just this one night Lou thought a small glass of whiskey might help ease her nerves and let her sleep peacefully. She made her way to the hotel bar telling herself just one drink, maybe a little fresh air and then back to my room.
Lou made her way down the hotel staircase and saw the bar across the open lobby. There were still quite a few patrons sitting there. She kept her head down as she walked across to the bar and took a seat on one of the stools. This place was actually a lot nicer than other saloons she'd been in and she didn't feel as out of place here as she usually would. The bartender approached her and in a deep, manly voice she asked for a whiskey neat. She handed him her coin and in a quick minute she was sipping the burning liquid. She took small sips and let the warmth splash around in her mouth before swallowing. She hoped she didn't drink it too much like a girl. Still keeping her head angled down, she perused the bar to see if anyone even noticed her. It was a long bar and on one end it curved towards the wall. There was a little swing door where the bartender could exit to retrieve food and supplies from the kitchen. That's where she saw Jimmy, sitting with his back to the wall with a good view of the doors and the rest of the room. He didn't look like he was alert though. He didn't seem to notice Lou walk in. He must have needed a drink too, though it seems he had a few more than one they way he slumped in his stool.
Lou debated to herself if she should even walk over to him. He certainly hadn't wanted her company before, maybe now even less so. She sipped on her whiskey as she watched him and wondered what to do. He looked vulnerable to her and she knew she couldn't leave him. Instead, she decided to watch him from a distance for now, just to make sure there was no trouble. Luckily for Lou she was a slow drinker because Jimmy sat there for almost a whole hour just staring into his glass. She noticed he didn't order any more whiskey and didn't even seem to be drinking the one he had. But the look on his face troubled her. She knew he was hurting, over Elias, over his thoughts about his own future, probably remembering every gunman that had ever forced him into a fight, into taking another life. She wished he could see himself the way she saw him, as the good, honest man that he was. Lou knew she could put one hundred percent of her trust in him. She knew he would do just about anything for her or his other friends. For that matter he would do it for a stranger in need, if he thought it was the right thing. He and Kid were alike that way. She could see herself loving Jimmy if he would let her. Where did that thought come from? She looked into her own glass and saw it was empty. Maybe I'm a little drunk myself. She was a small woman who really never drank, so it didn't surprise her that one glass of whiskey could get her a little light headed, a little contemplative.
She glanced back to where her friend sat on the other end of the bar. He was gone! His stool stood empty, a practically full glass of whiskey sitting on the counter. She turned to see him walking towards the lobby and quickly jumped from her seat to follow him. In her mind she prayed, just go to your room now Jimmy. Don't go out looking for trouble. But he didn't hear her silent plea and he walked out onto the hotel porch. Lou picked up her pace and followed. When she exited the hotel she saw that he had only gone a short distance to relieve himself. He was buttoning his pants and turning back in her direction, back to the hotel. Lou didn't know why she did it but she jumped behind a group of men smoking cigars on the porch to hide herself. Why didn't she want him to see her? She didn't quite know. Really she just had a feeling that Jimmy wouldn't want her seeing him this way.
He walked right past the group of men and Lou. He really wasn't paying any attention to his surroundings tonight. That kind of heedless behaviour is what gets men killed. After Jimmy went back inside Lou followed, being careful to keep a short distance between them. As long as he didn't look back, she was just another hotel guest heading to his room. She climbed the stairs behind Jimmy. She followed him down the hall a little ways. She lingered back, expecting him to stop shortly and open the door to his room. Instead he walked past his room and turned the corner at the end of the hall. Lou wrinkled her forehead in confusion, wondering where he could be going. She walked quickly to the end of the hallway, not wanting to lose him. She turned the corner and was swiftly shoved against the wall, a gun pointing in her face.
"Lou!" Jimmy just as swiftly dropped his gun and pulled his hand away from her shoulder where he'd grabbed her. Lou was frozen in place. Jimmy knew someone was tailing him the whole time! He didn't seem the least bit drunk now. His reflexes certainly weren't affected. "What are you doing here? I thought you went to bed." He holstered his gun.
Lou's mouth had gone dry. She had to swallow and find her words. "I couldn't sleep." He looked at her, waiting for more. "I saw you at the bar." Still not a good enough explanation. Lou let out a breath and looked at her feet. "I saw you and I thought you were drunk. I was just making sure nothing happened." She looked up into Jimmy's face expecting him to be livid with her for secretly spying on him. She was surprised when she heard him laughing. Maybe he was drunk after all. For some reason his nonchalance made her angry. "Forget it! You're obviously fine so I'll just go back to my room now!" She made to leave but Jimmy did have her backed against the wall and he stood in her way. "Do you mind?"
"What were you doing at the bar?" He leaned into her and for a moment she thought he was going to kiss her again until she realized he was smelling her breath.
"Do you mind!" Her hand reflexively moved to her face to cover her mouth.
"Are you drunk?" Now his tone was serious and a little angry.
"No!" She offered no more information, just stood there waiting for him to move out of her way. But he didn't. "Are you? Were you?" She stammered. His proximity and his stare were making her uncomfortable. "You didn't look like yourself, down at the bar. You didn't even notice me. Didn't seem to be noticing anything." She was becoming annoyed with the way he stared at her without speaking. "I was just worried about you! Geez! Is that okay?" She looked over his shoulder as she couldn't stand those eyes boring into her any longer.
"You were at the bar? Drinking?" He was not letting this go.
Lou released an annoyed and audible sigh, rolling her eyes. "I had one drink. I couldn't sleep."
"Why didn't you just come up to me at the bar?"
Lou fixed him with a gaze. She was really not in the mood for 20 questions. "I didn't think you wanted to talk to me. After Elias… I thought you wanted to be alone."
"So you just spied on me?"
"I told you what I was doing! The way you were sitting there all hunched over and oblivious…" Lou raised her hands and shrugged her shoulders and let him finish her thought.
He didn't push the issue. Instead he returned to his previous question. "You make it a habit to drink alone in bars after a run?"
Lou groaned and let her head rest back on the wall behind her, closing her eyes. "No Jimmy? Do you?"
He shook his head, a hint of smile returning to his lips. "I just ordered the one, barely touched it."
"Good. Well then…" She gestured that he should let her pass.
"Seeing as you actually have been drinking, I think it best I escort you back to your room." Jimmy took a few steps back and held out his arm signalling that she could pass. Lou took one giant step out from under his hulking frame and began walking briskly to the stairs at the end of the hall. Her room was on the floor above.
Jimmy walked silently beside her. She couldn't read him tonight. He hadn't been drunk and she knew he was upset but he was acting almost playful with her now. They reached her door and she pulled the key out of her pocket. The door opened into a rather large room with a queen sized bed. For whatever reason this was the room the clerk had assigned her. It was much nicer than most places she'd stayed in. Actually it kind of reminded her of the room Kid had got them when… Why was she thinking of that now? She forced the thought out of her mind and stepped into her room. She looked at Jimmy but he made no indication of moving. She stood there for a moment, shifting her weight from foot to foot. Jimmy didn't move. He looked like he wanted to say something but remained mute. Finally Lou broke the tension.
"Jimmy do you want to talk about something?"
He looked at her sheepishly. It reminded her of the other night, by the fire, when he'd kissed her.
"Do you wanna come in?"
She stepped aside to make room for him to walk in. What was she doing? Inviting him into her hotel room was highly improper for a woman. But then again, she was supposed to be a man. Jimmy entered her room and she closed the door. For a few seconds she just stood looking at the wood of the door, wondering what exactly she was trying to accomplish tonight. She felt her heartbeat speeding up and tension in her belly she couldn't identify. Or she was trying not to. They had kissed, now he was in her room, by her invitation. What kind of signal must she be sending to him? She turned slowly to look at Jimmy hoping he would say something.
He looked Lou up and down in a way that was not really lude but somehow appraising. Lou crossed her arms over her chest in the defensive manner she'd come to adopt.
"I guess I wanted to say thank you. I was a little...distracted tonight and you were being a good friend looking out for me."
"Oh." This surprised Lou for whatever reason. She didn't think that Jimmy was going to be appreciative of her behaviour tonight. "Well you're welcome."
Lou looked at Jimmy and something about his expression softened her. She still saw the pain he was carrying in those eyes. "Jimmy." She spoke softer now. She took his hand in hers. "You know I care about you. Of course I would never leave you alone if I thought you might not be safe." She looked into his eyes to see if she was getting through to him. She saw love returned. "I know Elias got to you -"
"That's not what I was thinking about at the bar Lou."
"Then what was it?" She noticed he was still holding onto her hand and he was rubbing the crease between her thumb and forefinger. That little touch was sending ripples through her whole body.
"It wasn't what Elias said. It was what you said. You said I was a better man than I give myself credit for."
Lou nodded, "You are."
Jimmy tugged on her hand and pulled her closer so that their bodies were touching. "But not one that you could love, right?"
"I do love you Jimmy."
"But not like Kid." He was staring into Lou's big brown eyes. He'd never seen a pair of warmer, more inviting eyes. His gaze darted to her lips and she knew he was thinking about kissing her. She didn't know how to answer him. She wasn't sure what her and Kid had anymore but she knew how her body reacted to Jimmy. She saw that he knew it too. "You turned to him after Elias fell."
"That was just - I don't know. Old habits." She brushed it off, shaking her head.
"I went to the bar because I couldn't stand the thought that you might be with him tonight. Once we came back here I thought...I don't like the idea of him touching you." He was wrapping his arms around her now. She knew what he wanted and it scared and excited her.
"I thought you said we weren't acting ourselves. That it was never gonna happen again." She was throwing his own words back at him. He had said it and she believed he meant it at the time.
Jimmy was leaning over her, his face so close to hers, his lips so close. She could feel his body heat piercing her through their clothes. Her skin was alive and she could feel herself getting wet. She sucked in air but didn't speak. "Sometimes I say stupid things Lou. You know that." And then his lips were on hers. His arms were wrapped tight around her waist and he pulled her into him as he took her mouth. He pressed his lips to hers, one hand coming up to take her face in his hand. She welcomed it, all of it, feeling the fire in her belly and between her legs. Jimmy opened her lips with his tongue and she moaned as he penetrated her mouth again and again. Her arms instinctively wrapped around his waist to steady herself.
Jimmy must have sensed she was becoming shaky because he scooped her up in his arms. Lou gave a tiny cry in surprise but then he was smashing his lips onto hers again. For all the times she and Kid had been together, it had never been like this. Jimmy Hickok was full of wild, uncontrollable passion and right now it was all directed at her. That didn't surprise her as much as her own reaction, meeting every one of Jimmy's kisses with equal passion, exploring his mouth with her own tongue, letting loose the moans of pleasure that built up inside her. If she was honest with herself, she had fantasized about this very thing.
He placed her gently on the bed and sat next to her. "Tell me if I should leave right now." He was breathing heavy and Lou saw his chest moving up and down. She wondered if her own chest was heaving and she knew it must be.
Lou pulled Jimmy's mouth to hers again and this time she bit his bottom lip and sucked it into her mouth. When she released him she was breathless. "Don't you dare leave this room." Her voice was husky, full of desire and it fixed Jimmy's resolve. Kid be damned. Tonight he was making Lou his.
They kissed more. Jimmy held Lou by her arms and his fingers dug into her flesh. It hurt a little but she didn't protest. It was just another sensation overtaking her body. Lou's hands wrapped around Jimmy's neck and tangled in his hair as she kissed him over and over. She was so preoccupied with Jimmy's mouth, she barely noticed when he pulled her into his lap to straddle him. Jimmy was a good kisser. She was enjoying the taste of him in her mouth. Unconsciously she began rubbing her crotch against his thighs. Jimmy broke their kiss and gently pushed Lou away from him. She was still holding onto the back of his neck and looking at him confused when he smiled at her. He covered her hands with his own and pulled them down to her sides. She thought he had changed his mind but then he removed her vest and his hands went to her shirt buttons and she understood. She moved to undo his buttons as well but he stopped her and again placed her hands beside her and told her to stay still. He was commanding her and her instinct was to argue, to fight for her way. She stared him down and moved one hand to his top button. Jimmy smiled at her but he grabbed her arm and stopped her. Stroking her inner wrist with his thumb he asked, "Do I need to tie you up?"
Lou's eyes must have gone wide because he chuckled. He dropped her wrist and ripped the buttons from her shirt in one motion. "I know you have others." Was all he said. He pushed her shirt wide open and she was naked underneath. Lou was too shocked by his aggressive behaviour to feel self conscious at the moment. She watched Jimmy looking at her and saw a wild look in his eyes. It was frightening and she fidgeted on his lap. He grabbed her thighs to steady her and then brought his lips to her breasts. Lou moaned and leaned back to allow him access. In contrast to the way he had removed her buttons, his mouth moved gently over her soft skin. He kissed each nipple and lightly brushed his tongue over her. He still held her thighs and his fingers were digging into her again causing a jumble of pleasure and pain. Lou's hands made fists and she willed her arms to stay still as Jimmy had told her. Her breasts were small but they were round and firm and incredibly sensitive. Each time Jimmy dragged his mouth across one of her nipples, she let loose a tiny cry and felt liquid spill between her legs. Her sounds encouraged Jimmy and he sucked at her breasts with more force, bit her with more pressure, his hands were gripping her thighs so tightly she finally had to move. Placing her hands over his she said his name. His attention was fixated on her breasts and she had to grip his hands and pull them away before he realized what was happening. He was clutching her too tight. Digging into her flesh. Hurting her. "Lou I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He pulled his hands away like he'd been burned and then began rubbing her legs with his palms as if he could rub away the pain he caused. "I didn't want to hurt you." He stared down at where he'd been holding her in his vice grip, shaking his head.
Lou saw him spiralling into his own guilt and knew she had to do something before he called the whole thing off. She cupped his face in her hands and forced him to look at her. "Jimmy it's okay. I'm not going to break." He looked doubtful but she kissed him before he could protest anymore. Jimmy returned her kiss but she noticed he didn't put his hands on her. Her shirt had still been hanging around her shoulders and she let it fall to the floor. She broke away from his lips and kissed and nibbled his neck. He made a low noise that came from deep in his belly and she made note that Jimmy liked being bitten on the neck. She was going to take control now. She gave his neck a few more bites and licks and he brought his hands to her waist, gingerly rubbing her exposed skin. "My turn." She whispered in his ear and began to unbutton his shirt. Jimmy leaned back for her, resting his weight on the palms of his hands behind his back. He was enjoying her controlling nature coupled with the view of her naked skin. He'd glimpsed her enough in her tight long johns to know her breasts were high and perky. He hadn't realized they were so perfectly round and bouncy. Her breasts weren't large but they were quite becoming on her small frame. Her waist was tiny, her stomach flat and taut. He admired the way the underside of her tits curved out from her ribcage, how her erect nipples stood out begging to be touched.
Lou finished with his last button and pushed his shirt open. As if reading his mind, she crushed her body to his, rubbing her breasts against his naked skin, burying her face in the crook of his neck. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and Jimmy reciprocated, leaning back on the bed and holding her to him. He lay between her splayed legs with her half naked body on top of him as they both enjoyed the sensation of their touching skin. Lou began kissing his neck again and Jimmy felt his erection twitch. Lou must have felt the tiny movement because she sat up and wordlessly began to undo his belt and pants. Somewhere his brain registered that Lou was topless and taking his pants off so she could fuck him. He almost couldn't believe that this was actually happening; that this tiny girl rider who'd become one of his closest friends was so audacious. Then he laughed at himself. Her whole life was boldly unconventional and unapologetic. At the sound of Jimmy chuckling, Lou looked up from what she was doing. "What's funny?" She defensively asked.
Jimmy shook his head. "I thought of this a hundred times but it never went quite like this."
A hundred times? Jimmy had thought about fucking her a hundred times? Since when? And what the hell did he mean it never went like this? "What does that mean?" She was incredulous. "How's it supposed to go?" Her hands had abandoned their task and were resting on her hips, her eyes steely. It didn't perturb her that she was naked on top.
Jimmy was the one known for his quick temper but he knew that Lou rose easily to anger when she felt slighted. He couldn't help but smile at her posture and her expression. She was damn sexy when she was pissed off. He felt his cock throb. "It means," he pulled her against him and flipped their positions so that she was pinned under him on the bed, his body between her legs. "I thought I was gonna be in charge." Quickly before she could protest, he sucked her upper lip between his and began kissing her deeply. Jimmy's pants had slid down and the top of his dick was protruding out, rubbing against the exterior of Lou's pants. That was not going to work. He stood up, breaking their kiss and the contact between their two bodies. Lou opened her eyes and saw what Jimmy was about. He kicked off both boots and pulled off the rest of his clothes. She saw him fully naked for the first time and she assessed his washboard abs and hard cock. He was big! He didn't seem to notice her looking and then he was bent over her, unfastening her belt and pulling her pants to her ankles. They got stuck around her boots and he yanked those off letting out frustrated grunts as he did so.
It seemed to dawn on him that he had just taken off the last thing standing between him and a naked, ready Lou. His motions slowed and he raised his head to look at her. She had propped herself up on her elbows. Her naked breasts hung high and inviting, her legs were only slightly apart as he'd just taken off her pants. He could see a tuft of pubic hair between her legs, but his real prize was hidden between her toned thighs. Her skin everywhere was soft and smooth. He looked her up and down, wanting to memorize exactly what she looked like in this moment. Her face was flushed and she had a curious look about her. He realized she was glancing back and forth between his face and his body. He looked at himself then at her. She was looking at his cock. She looked wanton and maybe a little hesitant. He'd seen Kid in the swimming hole enough to know that Kid was fairly large but he was bigger. Jimmy smiled knowing he would be able to hit parts of Lou that Kid never could. But he also knew that he couldn't let his lust get out of control or he would end up hurting her, which was the last thing he wanted.
He tried to calm himself and slow his pulse. It wasn't easy when his dick was pointing him to a naked Lou like a dowsing rod. He stared at her and swallowed and he saw her spread her legs to make room for him to come to her. As much as he wanted to rush her and bury his dick inside her, he thought better to make her as wet as possible. He did climb between her legs, and he pushed lightly on her inner thighs telling her to spread them even further. Lou thought he was going to fuck her now but he ducked between her legs and kissed her right on her pussy. She was already soaking wet and Jimmy lapped it up, circling his tongue over her clit and around her opening, darting it in and out of her. She tasted sweet and salty and smelled like sex. He heard Lou release a series of cries and he took her clit between his lips and sucked. She cried out and her back arched off the bed. She lay flat but her head tilted up to watch him eat her out. He raised his eyes to meet her and stared at her as he entered two fingers into her cunt. She was very wet and he moved them rapidly while he sucked the tiny part of her he knew gave her the most pleasure. After a minute he slid a third finger into her causing her to cry out yet again. Jimmy kept his eyes on her face looking for any signs of pain. But he could tell by the way her head fell back and her body rocked to meet his hand that she wanted this. He fucked her good with his mouth and his fingers, enjoying how wet she got. Her juices were pouring out now and soaking his hand. Her head and arms were thrown back but her thighs held his head on either side, telling him not to stop what he was doing to her. As her cries grow louder Jimmy knows she's close. Knowing he's about to make Lou cum for the first time excites him to no end and he increases his ministrations on her clit and fucks her harder and faster with his hand. Soon her whole body is arching off the bed and she's screaming her orgasm as Jimmy feels her inner walls constrict and release repeatedly around his fingers.
Only after her orgasm has fully subsided does Jimmy relent with his mouth and hands. He holds her legs wide open and looks at her. He can scarcely believe that he's so close to her pussy, that she's all over his mouth and his fingers. She's perfect, soft and pink. Her juices are running down her cunt, dripping between her cheeks. He strokes her outer folds and she jumps, still so sensitive. He wipes his hand and mouth on her inner thighs and places a few gentle kisses there. Sitting on his haunches, he leans back and takes in the sight of her, sweaty, glowing, spent. So much moisture has pooled between her legs. As Jimmy positions himself between them, Lou opens her eyes. Jimmy rests his forehead on hers and she can feel his breath, smell her own sex. To her surprise, it turns her on more and she tries to spread her legs wider for him. When his head breaches her, they both cry out. He slowly pushes his whole length inside her and then stills. They stay motionless for a while, Jimmy's dick stretching Lou's tiny opening. She's tight, hot, and wet like he imagined, only better.
She's the first one to move, bucking her hips off the mattress, telling him it's okay to proceed. He only moves slightly at first, taking extra care. Lou is kissing his neck and chest, any part of him she can reach from this position. Her hands wander over his bare back until they find his buttocks. He's hard and firm there too. She digs into him and urges him to move more, go faster. He obliges, pulling out further and plunging back into her hard, their hips rolling together. Jimmy is grunting and panting as he moves on top of her, inside her. Lou wraps her legs around his waist and holds tight to him, trying to match his thrusting. Where they're joined together is so wet and hot. "Cum inside me Jimmy. It's okay." She tells him. He wonders to himself how it's okay but he doesn't question it too much. She just gave him all the permission he needs. He kisses her neck and bites her shoulder as he shoots his load inside her. He knows he's biting her, knows it hurts, but he also knows she can take it, likes it even. Lou feels his warmth gush through her and his teeth bite into her shoulder. She feels gratification mixed with pain. She cums again.
Jimmy lies on her for a while, letting himself go soft inside her, before he pulls out and rolls over. Lou stairs at the ceiling above them, wondering what the hell this means for them now. Is Jimmy still her friend? Will this be the only time? Is he always like that with women? She can't bring herself to ask any of these questions out loud. She feels his hand on her arm, pulling her to him. He kisses her head, strokes her hair. He tells her he loves her, that he wants to be with her like this always. She looks at him but his eyes are closed. He's on the verge of falling into a deep sleep. This makes Lou smile and she joins him presently.
Jimmy is the first to wake. A warm morning wind is blowing through the window and he can tell it's going to be a hot day. He woke up a few times during the night and had thought about taking Lou again, but he didn't want her to be too sore to ride today. Now though, he takes the thin sheet in his hand and pulls it away from her body. He gasps at what he sees, horrified. She has fingertip sized bruises up and down her thighs and his bite mark on her right shoulder is also bruising. He stares mortified and tears form in his eyes. He knew he could be rough in bed, sometimes forgetting his own strength, but last night he had gotten far too carried away. He felt sick knowing he had done this to Lou. What else had he done? Had he hurt her inside? The thought made his stomach turn and he had to get up and walk it off. He pulled his pants on and went to the window, breathing in the fresh air.
His movement roused Lou and she twisted in the sheet Jimmy had dropped on the bed. She sat up when she saw him at the window. "Jimmy what are you doing there?" She had a terrible flash of fear that he regretted what they'd done. She continued to sit on the bed, looking at him, too afraid to get up and go to him. Jimmy wiped his mouth and turned to look at her. He looked distraught and Lou felt a lump in her throat and tears threatening to unleash themselves. She swallowed her pain, refusing to cry in front of Jimmy. She pulled the sheet around her.
"Lou I'm so sorry."
She stared at the sheet she had wrapped around herself. She couldn't look at him. The tears were going to come soon. She knew it. She just hoped he would leave quickly. She said nothing, knowing her voice would betray her.
"I can't believe I did those things." He was shaking his head, talking like he was disgusted with himself. Why was he saying this to her? Did he hate her? Did she disgust him? She felt so tiny, practically invisible. She just nodded, hoping he would see she understood and just leave already.
If Jimmy could have heard himself then maybe he would've understood how his words sounded to Lou. He was too caught up in his grief and guilt. When he saw the tear escape her eye he thought it was from the physical pain he'd caused her. Rushing to her side, he asked her, "Did I hurt you that bad? What is it? What did I do?" Lou heard the genuine concern in his voice, saw love in his eyes. She was thoroughly confused. She stared back at him uncomprehending. Realization dawned on him then. Oh god! He'd made her think….
"No Lou. I didn't mean… The only thing I regret about us being together is this." He ever so gently pulled the sheet from her shoulder and showed her the bruise from his bite. "Your thighs too. I'm so sorry. I can't believe I hurt you like that. Are you hurt...anywhere else?"
Lou was too stunned to speak. A minute ago Jimmy had been harshly rejecting her and she had felt as though her heart was breaking. He was just worried, worried he'd been too rough. She pushed him aside and went to the mirror at the dressing table. His bite mark was bruising slightly. She dropped the sheet and looked at her thighs. The bruises were so tiny, from where he had dug into her with his fingers. Honestly she barely registered any of this. She'd had much worse falling from her horse. Although from Jimmy's perspective she supposed it looked like he had abused her. Knowing what she did about how his father used to beat on his mother, she understood that Jimmy felt like a real monster right now.
Jimmy was sitting on the edge of the bed, his hands in his lap, staring down. Still naked, Lou went to him. She sat next to him and took his hand, placing it on her bruised shoulder. "This doesn't hurt." She took his other hand and ran it over her thigh. "This doesn't hurt." He looked like such a sad little boy to her right now. She felt tears coming and she didn't try to stop them. She pulled his head to hers and rested her forehead against his temple. "You didn't hurt me. I wanted it. All of it. We did this together." She kissed his cheek.
"Are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm better than okay." She continued to nuzzle the side of his face, his neck. She kissed him like she now knew he liked, and she felt his body relax, his arm come around her and pull her in for a hug. "You did do one thing to upset me though." He pulled back and looked at her seriously. Lou smiled cheekily. Her hand fell to his belt. "You put these pants back on." A full smile broke out on Jimmy's face and he cupped the nape of her neck so he could kiss her fully. Their kiss deepened and Lou's hand began to stroke his stomach when there was a knock at the door.
"Lou, you up?"
"Kid!" She jumped up and looked down at her naked body. "I just got up. I'll meet you in the lobby, okay?"
"Okay. I'll see you down there."
How could she have forgotten that Kid was here, in the same hotel! They had a two day ride back to Rock Creek together! She looked to Jimmy. "What do we do?"
"Get dressed. We'll keep it a secret. For now. At least until we get home. Otherwise he'll try to ride off half cocked with a busted arm all by himself."
"Right." She nodded, knowing that made the most sense. "Okay."
She began pulling on her clothes from last night. Jimmy laughed when she pulled her shirt from the floor and buttons flew everywhere. She frowned at him and went to her bag for another shirt. Finally they were both dressed. Lou left first and went to meet Kid and Jimmy went to his room to gather his things. He glanced at the bed, neatly made, not even touched, and let out a deep sigh. It's going to be a long ride back to Rock Creek.
When Jimmy got to the lobby, Kid and Lou were waiting for him. "Hey Jimmy. Where were you this morning? I knocked on your door and you weren't there. You sleep alright?"
Kid's obvious concern for him after everything that happened with Mills turned Jimmy in knots. Lou just looked at him silently. "I'm fine. Ready to get going. It's a long ride."
"I thought we could get some breakfast at the cafe first, seeing as how we skipped dinner. I already got our supplies so we're good on that end." He dipped his head towards Lou. "I know someone's hungry." He smiled. Lou's stomach growled and she put her hand over her tummy, embarrassed. Despite the awkward situation, Jimmy laughed.
"Now that you mention it, I am pretty famished." He gave Lou a knowing look and she hoped she wasn't blushing.
During breakfast Kid asked Jimmy and Lou about Mills and what they'd come to know of him. They spoke little but Kid attributed it to the fact that they'd grown fond of the old gunslinger and were grieving his death. They rode in silence, each of them lost in their own thoughts, and made good time. It was evening when they reached the spot where Mill's had asked Jimmy to free his horse Lilly and, after letting the mare go, they decided it was a good place to stop for the night. The day had been hot, the strong sun beating down on them much of the ride and they were exhausted. Lou was grateful for the cool stream and she cupped the water in her hands and poured it over her, soaking her head and the top of her shirt. She splashed the water on her face and rubbed it into her chest and neck, which were dirty with dust and sweat. She rinsed her hands and lower arms the same way, wishing it was deep enough to jump in and soak her whole body. She thought about just lying down in the babbling water, clothes and all.
She thought about sleeping next to the fire tonight with Kid and Jimmy. Maybe they would make good time tomorrow and they would only need one night on the trail. Sleeping out here with her ex and the man she had just slept with was not her idea of fun. Nor did she believe it would make for a restful night. She still didn't know what it meant, this thing between her and Jimmy. She only knew that she discovered a part of herself that she didn't know was there before. There was something about the way Jimmy fucked her that scared her a little. Like they could lose control with each other. She had felt some pain but it only made her pleasure better. She found herself questioning what else she could take and how it would feel. She rubbed her shoulder, which was honestly a little sore. But feeling that dull pain only made her remember how she'd gotten it and she felt tingling between her legs. She looked to where Jimmy and Kid sat by the fire. How could two men be so alike and so different at the same time?
That night they share another quiet meal and turn in early. Lou watches the fire dance, lying on her bedroll. At night the temperature drops and it's hard to remember that the day was so hot, that another long, hot ride awaits them in the morning. She can see Jimmy and Kid lying nearby. Kid is fast asleep. She can even detect faint snoring. But Jimmy is watching her. Staring. All three of them barely spoke during the day and she wonders what he's thinking. She's surprised when he gets up and comes to her, squatting down and taking her hand. He walks her far away from Kid and kisses her. He pulls her shirt out from her pants and he slides his hand down them to see if she is wet. Her cunt is warm and moist but not wet enough for what he's thinking. He continues to kiss her while he rubs her clit, giving her a swift orgasm which makes her slump against him and buckle in his arms. Then quickly he is pulling down her pants, putting her hands against a wide tree, and he is sliding into her as she braces herself. He wraps an arm around her and covers her mouth to muffle the cries he knows she is going to make. She can only pull her legs so far apart because her pants are at her ankles. Jimmy's other hand wraps around her stomach and he holds her in place while he fucks her frantically from behind. The tree bark digs into her palms as he pounds her opening.
Lou feels like she has been wholly taken and has been ripped apart by his thrusting. He has said nothing to her until this point when he tells her to cum. He tells her he needs to feel her cum on his dick. He whispers shocking things into her ear and it makes her do as he says. He tightens his hand over her mouth as she moans. Then Lou feels his hot and salty jiz covering the insides of her and she starts to cum again. She's had three orgasms in as many minutes and she shakes against Jimmy as he holds her, the tree and him propping her up. He pulls her pants back up and buttons them, then his own. He lifts her and carries her back to her bedroll where he lays her down and kisses her before returning to his own bed. She can feel him watching her but can't bring herself to look at him. Instead Lou closes her eyes and tries to ignore the aching in the palms of her hands and between her legs. If she thinks about it too much, she'll be too turned on to sleep.
For several days after their return to Rock Creek she did her best to avoid him. Taking the longer runs. Volunteering for errands that took her wherever he was not. She had done a good job of it until he cornered her in the barn one day when she thought the station was supposed to be deserted. Part of her thought he might throw her up against the wall and take her like he had that night against the tree. She had gripped the trunk so tight as Jimmy's force lifted her off the ground and she had been impaled on his stiff dick. She had been hit with so many orgasms so quickly, it had made her feel drunk. Her body responded to her memories and she found herself hoping he would press her against the wall and fuck her. Jimmy saw her cheeks flush and she looked down as he approached her. He knew she couldn't help but respond to him. Just like he couldn't help how he responded to her. He thought that actions were easier than words so he simply grabbed her and kissed her. Perhaps he was arrogant but he knew she would have no choice but to kiss him back.
Lou was mad at herself for the way she reacted to him. She should push him off and make him explain himself. But her body melted whenever he touched her and she felt as though she had no control. She didn't want to push him away. She wanted to pull him in and devour him.
It was Jimmy who pulled back. "Why have you been avoiding me?" He didn't let her go but he did take his mouth away from hers which made her instantly displeased. It was a simple question. Why couldn't she answer? Why was she avoiding this when she obviously wanted it? Lou found it hard to think with Jimmy's arms around her, her own arms pinned to his chest. Her hands absentmindedly stroked him through his shirt. It was too hard to concentrate with him so close, touching her. "Why Lou?"
"I don't know." It was true. Not knowing what else to say, she kissed him. He reciprocated and she felt his erection poking against her hip. Wrapping her arms around his neck she pulled on him and rubbed against it.
Jimmy grumbled and pushed her off, holding her a few inches away from him. "You can't do this and then run away from me for days."
"But you can pick me up and fuck me up against a tree and put me back to bed and not say anything and then what? What does that mean? Who does that? What do you want? What are you doing to me?" Her questions came out in one hurried breath, leaving her gasping.
"Maybe we could have talked about that if you hadn't run away." Jimmy was upset that she was in turmoil but also elated that he had such a strong effect on her. "Also, I'm sorry if I was…. overly aggressive."
"That's what you're like, in bed, always?" Lou wanted to know if she affected him this way or if women did in general.
"No." He shook his head. "I think I've been wanting you so long. Loved you so long. Denied myself so long. I've never been so close to anyone." She knew it was true. Jimmy was close with the other riders and Teaspoon especially, as a mentor. But Lou and Jimmy shared an understanding of who the other was, what they feared and what brought them happiness, what they longed for. Now they had become intimate and it had been so incredibly intense she didn't know what do to do, so she ran away. "I don't want to end up alone like Elias. I know what I want." His look and his touch said he wanted her. She didn't know what it all meant but she knew that when she was with him she wanted him to keep ripping her apart and opening her up.
They jumped apart when they heard the barn door opening and Rachel yelled in. "Hey can I get some help bringing this laundry in. You two are the only ones here and it looks like quite a storm kicking up!" She looked at the two friends and noticed the way they stood awkwardly next to each other. They both just nodded and ran out to join her.
She had not been kidding about the storm. The wind was whipping and clouds were rolling in fast. It seemed they would finally get a real break from the heat that had been oppressing them for the past few weeks. Rachel, Jimmy, and Lou gathered all the clothes and linens from the line as quickly as they could and got it to Rachel's just as the first drops began to fall. "I'll be fine here. You two should go make sure the bunkhouse is secure and then bunker down. There's some leftovers in there anyway. You think you'll be okay for the night?"
Lou tensed. With a storm like this, anyone that was planning on coming home would be finding shelter and bunking down for the night. Her and Jimmy were sure to have the bunkhouse to themselves this evening and all night. There was no way she could avoid his presence or their conversation. "Rachel you sure you'll be okay by yourself? We could stay with you."
"I'll be fine. Don't worry. I'm just gonna fold this laundry and then enjoy some hot tea, wait this out. Don't worry about me."
"Come on Lou. It's starting to come down." Jimmy was right. The rain had already intensified and in seconds it was coming down in buckets. "We gotta get to the bunkhouse."
By the time they reached the porch, they were both soaked. The wind was fighting them and they could feel the temperature dropping. The sky had turned dark grey and they needed the lantern to see inside. Jimmy didn't waste anytime. "Even nature is conspiring to keep you from running now." He was stripping his wet clothes off right in front of her. He didn't stop till he was buck naked and then he just stood watching her react. Face getting red, her eyes darting around the room afraid to focus on him. "Come on Lou, nothing you haven't already seen. You weren't so shy before." He gave her a challenging look.
It was a game. He thought he was so irresistible, that she wouldn't be able to control herself. Fine. She could play games. She stared directly into his eyes and slowly, deliberately peeled her wet clothes off. He watched her and when she was completely naked she went a step further, running her hands down her neck and over her breasts. "Is this what you want? You just wanna play sex games with me?" The light of the lantern flickered against her skin. The wind pounded from the outside but in here it was eerily still.
"No. I just want to give you what you want. If you want to keep this secret, we can. If you want to tell everyone, we can. But I don't want anyone else and I won't watch you be with anyone else either. Other than that, I just want to make you happy." Lou was surprised by his words and his directness. Again, he had left her speechless. He took her silence as a chance to press on and he took a few steps towards her. She remembered that they were both naked and wet from the rain. She felt her body quivering, her pulse quickening. He went on, "And if you want me to be more gentle, I will. It's just hard for me, with you. And I think you kinda like it too." And there it was, the thing she feared and didn't understand. It was becoming something she craved. Something inside her must be broken.
"What's wrong with me?" It came out as a whisper.
"Nothing. Nothing." He's telling her nothing is wrong. That she has every right to feel what she feels and that he will give her anything she wants. They shouldn't waste this night, this time together. He wants her. She's been running away from him for a week and he needs her. He consoles her as he holds her. Strokes her, kisses her. Before she knows it they're wrapped up in each other on her mattress. He says he loves her and he fucks her slow for a while. He's making it last. He hasn't been inside her for days. He notices her bruises have healed. Her skin is perfect again. "I missed you." He tells her as he slides into her. "So wet." Pulls out and begins again. "So hot."
Lou feels herself stretching around him. They fit so tight, she can feel the ridges of his head rubbing against her, spreading her. Every thrust causes another gush of wetness to flow from her. He's right. She's so wet. Kid never made her this wet. She loved him. Loves him? Loved their sex but it wasn't like this. It never matched this intensity. Is this love or something else? Jimmy grabs a fistfull of her hair and pulls her head back so he can get at her neck. He licks her, enjoying the taste of her sweaty skin. He loves knowing that he makes her sweat, and drip, and cum. He tugs at her nipples, twists them and she cries out. He can feel how the twinge of pain spurs her body to orgasm. She screams as she cums, knowing there's no danger of being heard. They're all alone and the wind and pouring rain drown her cries. Her noises make Jimmy release and he spills inside her again, his cock throbbing and twitching as he rubs against her inner walls. He stays inside her and it's not long before he's hard and he's fucking her again.
Rain is pounding on the bunkhouse roof and wind shakes the glass panes in the windows. Next to their bed, their bed is how Jimmy thinks of it, at least in this moment, rain is blowing inside through the open window. They had created too much heat in the bunkhouse and had to open the window for air. The breeze was cool against their skin, wet from sweat and rain. They had both been insatiable, craving more even as their last orgasms were still sending aftershocks through their bodies. At last they both became too raw and had to stop.
"What are you thinking?" Jimmy asked as he snuggled up to Lou.
"Hmmm." She giggled. "Honestly I was thinking it's a real good thing I don't have to ride tomorrow."
"Heh." He smiled. "That it is."
"Wipe that smug look off your face Hickok!" Lou teased playfully, shaking her head at him. "Just cause -" He kisses her. "You know -." Kisses her again. "How to -" And again. "Make me cum about a hundred times."
"A hundred? That's a new record."
"For you maybe!" She can't help but goad him. It's her nature and she likes the way he reacts. The stunned look on his face is priceless and Lou can't help but break out into laughter.
"You think you're so funny." He grabs her tight against him so she can barely move but her laughter only intensifies. "Someone needs to learn a lesson I think." He cups one of her butt cheeks in his hand and raises an eyebrow at her. Lou is shaking her head and wiggles against him but she's still laughing as he brings a hard smack against the smooth curve of her ass. He does it again, and again. He gives her several hard whacks until her laughter turns to something between a whimper and a moan and he can feel her cunt pressed against his leg, growing wetter. They're both far too tender to fuck again but he still likes playing with her body. It's become his favorite thing to do. He's been learning what touch elicits what response, learning how to play her perfectly. And he's discovered that between her legs, in her arms, is where he feels most like himself. The gunslinger is gone and he exists as she sees him, how he wants to see himself.
Jimmy can't remember when he's ever slept so well. He was exhausted and happy and for once his dreams reflected this, instead of the nightmares he was used to. Lou's limbs were wrapped in his own and he could feel the morning sun on his skin. Then he heard a throat clearing and opened his eyes to Cody smirking at them. Immediately he looked to Lou to make sure she was covered. She was twisted up in him and the sheets, a stray leg and a few patches of skin exposed, sleeping soundly. There was no way for him to get up without moving her and probably waking her up.
"Well, well, well." Cody shook his head, hands on his hips, but he was grinning ear to ear. "I thought that storm was a stroke of bad luck but now I see different." Cody looked around the bunkhouse. His friends' wet clothes were scattered about the floor in small puddles.
Lou woke abruptly, sitting straight up so quickly that it made her dizzy. Then her eyes focused on Cody and she let out a shriek before burying her face in her covers. Cody broke out into full on laughter. "Don't get shy on my account Lou."
"Get out!" Jimmy started.
"Hey I live here too ya know! I'm sure you two know how tired one gets after a long ride?" His laughter resumed.
"Cody!"
"Alright, alright. Hurry up and make yourselves presentable."
It took a minute for Lou and Jimmy to untangle themselves and then they began picking up the bunkhouse and putting on fresh clothes. When they were done, they both walked onto the porch, carrying their wet laundry. Lou gave Cody a hard look that told him he better keep his mouth shut. Then she took the clothes Jimmy was carrying and went to hang them on the line, leaving Cody alone with Jimmy. As she hung the clothes up, she watched the two of them talking.
"Obviously, nobody else knows about this so I'm asking you to keep your mouth shut for once." Jimmy had mixed feelings about Cody's discovering them. On the one hand, Cody had a big mouth and was not the person he would normally confide in. On the other, when it came to sex Cody was probably the most experienced and open minded of all his friends. He knew he wouldn't judge him or Lou for what they were doing. "Please," he added. "We haven't told anyone and when we do, it should be Kid."
Cody let out a long breath. "This could make a real mess of things around here ya know. Kid ain't gonna be happy."
"Kid and Lou aren't together anymore." Jimmy said the words but he knew how Kid would feel if he suspected what was going on between his best friend and his ex girl. "We love each other." He admitted, as if this were justification for everything they'd done and anything that might happen.
"Yeah I figured that. Well, I won't say nothing but how long do you think you can keep this a secret?" Jimmy was silent, pondering Cody's question. He was jostled from his thoughts by the sound of Rachel telling them good morning. She had brought over breakfast. They could see Ike and Buck were riding in together, probably met up on the trail since they'd been coming from the same direction. Kid and Noah should be back sometime today or tomorrow. It was one of those rare days when they would all be at the station, no more rides till tomorrow. Lou was still lingering over by the clothesline, taking her time.
"I'll get Lou." Cody volunteered, jumping up from his seat. "I wanna talk to her anyway." Jimmy nodded and followed Rachel into the bunkhouse.
Lou saw Cody walking over to her and groaned. Her and Kid had suffered relentless teasing from him and the others when they got together and she could only imagine what it would be like now. "Go ahead, get it all out now."
"Get what out?"
"Whatever jokes you wanna make Cody. Just get it over with."
"Nah Lou I didn't walk all the way over here to tease you. I just wanted to say I ain't gonna say nothing about you and Jimmy or what I saw, or didn't see..." Lou huffed and went back to hanging laundry. "Alright well you know I had to tease just a little. Anyway, I'm happy for you both. I know it ain't easy keeping things private around here but you deserve to tell people on your own terms okay?"
"Thank you. That means a lot." Cody wasn't known for sentimentality and Lou was touched by his words.
"Now hurry that up. Breakfast is ready." And then he turned and went back to the bunk house. Cause offering to help hang clothes would be a little too out of character for Cody.
When Lou got back, Rachel, Teaspoon and the four other riders were already eating. Lou piled the eggs and bacon on her plate and took two biscuits from the dish. Jimmy noticed the others giving her curious looks. Lou didn't usually eat that much. Then he remembered they had not eaten dinner last night. Plus they had used a lot of energy. Looking at his own plate, he realizes he's eaten quite a lot himself.
"People around here seem extra ravenous to you today Rachel?" Teaspoon asked.
Lou felt tension so thick she thought it would suffocate her. She knew that no one suspected anything close to the truth but she knew it. She was sitting here having breakfast with her friends like usual and she could see her bed where she had had the most animalistic sex of her life only a few hours ago. She reminded herself to change those sheets today.