"Get up Rip! Get up!" Twinetail jumped up and down on his brother's makeshift bed stomping on him in the process. Ripeye slowly rubbed at his groggy teal eyes before Twinetail's footpaw slammed into his stomach folding him in two. With a roar, the young weasel twisted upright and tackled his brother. The two thrashed about on the bed kicking and clawing at each other with playful laughter. Their play spilled over to the cold floor at the foot of their parents' bed, as a tired order for quiet was demanded. It was duly ignored as Ripeye managed to pin his brother beneath him.
"Yarr ye dirty landlubber whydja jump on me! I oughta slit yer gilet and let ye bleed." Ripeye barked before bursting into laughter as Twinetail squirmed to break free of his sibling's grasp.
"Gerrof me Dirteye! I was jus' want'n tah wake yew up!" Twinetail flailed about freeing one of his paws before slashing at his brother. Ripeye leaped back just in time to dodge his brother's attack. Twinetail scrambled to his footpaws as the older weasel slammed into him sending the two to the cold floor again. This time the two weasels fought more than they did play.
"Yer a cross-eyed, squirrel-brained, dung-slinging gnat!"
"Shuddup Twinetail, yer so ugly you'd scare the feathers off a gull!"
"Well, yer so clumsy you'd trip over yer own shadow an drown ina pond!"
"Yer the twig-brained idjit that almost chopped off what was left of his tail. Bileguts wud'av split yew in two if yew didn't wet yerself like a scared mouse!"
"Shuddup Ripeye mum luvs me more than you!"
"Nuh-uh!"
"Shuddup yew muckbrained idjits!" Crooksnout snarled as he jolted from the bed.
"Yer mother and sister are sleeping!" Their father snapped as he crawled to the foot of the bed, his arm in a heavy sling. "Ripeye put yer brother down, an Twinetail stop biting his paw."
Ripeye tossed his brother to the floor which warranted a quick cuff across the face from his father.
"Ow! Whaddya dew that fer?" Ripeye cried rubbing at his cheek. "Mum! Dad hit me!"
Silvertongue shot her mate a vicious glare before pinching him hard on the behind.
"Yeowch! Whattaya doin' me withered rose?" Crooksnout yelped, rubbing his injured fur.
"Don't hurt me babies yew clod!" Silvertongue snapped returning to rest on the pile of pillows beneath her head. "An why am I a withered rose, yew rocked brained oaf. Yer one arm away from having that mountainous hare spoon-feed ya like a babe!"
"Because my sweet honeysuckle." Crooksnout started, turning from his perch at the foot of the cot. Several days prior the Redwallers had moved a second cot into the room for Ripeye's injured father combining it with the one his mother lay on. The family had wailed when the barrel-chested hare hauled in their unconscious father shortly thereafter, all but Ripeye of course.
"For all we've been through yer still the most beautiful beast in the land. Once yer back on yer paws, you'll put all these ugly geese in the abbey to shame." His voice was as smooth as honey.
"You're a soothsaying crooked-nosed, one-armed, wet-tailed knave," Silvertongue murmured.
"And you're still my withered rose," Crooksnout responded, leaning across the bed to plant a kiss on his mate's forehead.
Ripeye and Twinetail gagged at seeing their parents show affection for one another. They were hordebeasts and hordebeasts didn't show such mushy affection. They were warriors! Warriors who tossed acorns down upon unsuspecting foes and snatched whatever they wanted whenever adult eyes weren't watching.
"Why are yew two scoundrels fighting this early in tha mornin'?" Their father barked at the pair who continued to gag and convulse at their parents' intimacy.
"Twinetail jumped on me and woke me up." Ripeye swiped a claw aimed at his brother. Crooksnout plucked Twinetail up with his good arm and hoisted him to the bed where he crawled to his mother and dug himself into her side.
"And why did ye wake all o' us up with that racket me little spider?" Silvertongue asked as she gently reached down and pinched Twinetail's crimson ear. He squirmed in discomfort before batting her claw away.
"Because it's mornin' and today's when that mousie said we can play wid the otha dibbuns!"
Ripeye's eyes widened in excitement. The grey-furred mouse had visited his family's room several times since their first introduction. Samuel was odd even for a mouse, but he had told them of all the fun that the dibbuns have with a room called 'skool'. He said that they're always playing games like pirate, Ripeye's personal favorite, along with several others that he had never heard of. His mother had listened intently to the mouse as he told them about how they'd learn how to read and write along with several other boring-sounding things. His father had ignored the mouse for the most part.
Ripeye was desperate to leave the infirmary. He had felt better two days ago but was stuck inside because that old squirrel had told the seer they were still sick. He was tired of his mother's constant grooming and watchful eyes. Even worse, he was bored.
"Really! When can we go? Did Samuel come yet? Do we need tah wait for him or kin we find it? I wonder if they'll know how tah play pirates? I wanna climb that giant tower yew kin see from the window. I'll wave tah you mum when I get tah the top! I bet-"
"I won't let yew leave if ye keep jabberin'!" Crooksnout snapped, flicking his eldest son's ear. "An don't hit yer brother."
"But he started it!"
"It doesn't matter who started it all that matters is that yew two idjits don't fight! Iv ye start fight'n then that badger 'll come down on yew like a ton o' boulders."
"But I thought tha badger's sick like us?" Ripeye asked. "I kin hear tha rabbets cryin about 'er though tha door."
There was a silent glance between mother and father.
"Even if she is sick, she'll still hunt ye down like a hawk. Or she might call someone worse like those hares or that vile hedgehog." His mother warned.
Ripeye didn't know what vile meant but he assumed it was something nasty if it was associated with the Queen of the Dark: Sister Lilac. She had made Fenril cry when she checked their room yesterday. If Ripeye saw her he was sure to toss something at her and run. She looked far too fat to catch him.
"Oi there, little scamps!" Crooksnout barked as he hauled Ripeye to bed. His gruff voice painted with a splattering of excitement for his kits. "Gather 'round, let me tell ye how tah handle these Woodlanders. In this Abbey, we vermin have a reputation to uphold, y'see? So listen up, me lads. If ye wanna be a proper rogue, ye gotta be sharp as a dagger and sly as a fox."
Ripeye and Twinetail climbed into their father's lap eager to hear his wisdom.
"Now, listen tah me closely as I show ye the art of pilferin'. See that shiny trinket over yonder? Sneak up quiet-like, and snatch it quicker than a blink. But mind ye, never let yer greed blind ye or ye'll end up in a world of trouble. A distraction of sorts is the best way to avoid any unwanted ire. So, work together tah take what ye desire."
"Crooksnout don't encourage them!" Their mother bemoaned but their father continued.
"And when it comes to fightin', keep yer claws sharp and yer wits sharper. A vermin never shies away from a scuffle, but remember, it's not just brawn – a clever mind can outwit any foe."
"We kin find Seabane he'll fight wid us!" Twinetail cheered. They hadn't seen the corsair since there was all the screamin' in the infirmary several nights ago. Ripeye would be shocked if the rat was injured but he sure did look scared.
"But mark me words, me little ones, there's a rule we vermin must follow. Ye may be mischievous, but never harm a creature within these walls. Follow that one rule, and ye'll never hav' tah worry about goin' hungry again."
"Aren't you forgetting something yew dolt?" Silvertongue snapped.
"Wha- ahh yes, yes, yes." Crooksnout looked down at his sons with a terrifying fury in his eyes. "If either one of ye breaths to a soul about the squirrel or tha cottage I'll beat ye wid me belt until the two of yew are raw tah the bone!"
"But what if-"
"Not a word!" Their father snarled. "If ye kin keep that secret for me and yer mother I promise tah get yew those candied nuts evr'y night before yah go tah sleep."
"Yay!" The two brothers cheered. Candied nuts had been their favorite treat since arriving at the abbey.
"Good. Then go out and don't cause too much trouble." Their father said with a worrisome smile.
"How much snow's on that ground? D'ya think it's enough tah build a fort?" Ripeye bounced around the thin mouse that was leading him and his siblings outside. Her lips were held together like she was holding back a scream as she stared into the space at the end of her vision.
He had forgotten her name, but it was an odd one like 'smushy' or something. He had been so excited that he had jumped off the bed with Twinetail and made the mouse shriek. To Ripeyes joy, his parents had laughed harder than he had ever seen them do.
"Do you have a hill? Have yew ever taken a shield and rode it down a hill? I have! It was a ton of fun, although I almost broke me mom's leg when I ran intah her." Ripeye looked up at the mouse who was struggling to carry Fenril.
His baby sister had been fussy ever since his mum had passed her to Smushy. Ripeye didn't understand why she was so mad. They were gonna play in the snow, that was nothing to cry over.
"D'ya tink tha otha kit's 'll wanna pway piwates?" Twinetail asked his paw in his mouth, whether it was to Ripeye or the mouse was anybeasts guess.
"Dey'd be stupid beasts if they didn't." Ripeye rolled his eyes. "An get yer paw outah yer mouth yew look like a baby!"
"I'm not a baby yew are."
"I bet yew wish mum was here tah carry yew because yew because yer afraid of the Queen of the Dark.
"Shuddup at least I don' look like a frog-bottomed, gnat-breathed pondscum!"."
"Ah there's Sister Lilac I was afraid I'd have to handle the two of ye myself." Smushy proclaimed hurrying her pace.
Ripeye looked down the lightly colored hall where the Queen of the Dark waited, wrapped in a large red cloak. Next to her stood almost a score of other smaller beasts with identical cloaks. Some of the beasts looked older and bigger than the weasel and they all watched him and his siblings with worrisome expressions. He slowed, what if they don't want to play pirates? What if they don't want to play with me?
His brother bumped into him. "Hurry up Rip I wanna play in tha snow."
After a short yet brisk trot, the two groups met and the Queen of the Dark shuffled over to hand the two weasels matching red cloaks.
"Put these on and keep them on. I don't want the two of ye tah catch a cold." The hedgehog ordered her tone was that of an iron-fisted ruler.
Ripeye and Twinetail snatched the cloaks from the evil queen and threw them on. It was roomy and warm with plenty of space to hide stolen goods. More importantly, he loved its bloodlike color.
The Queen of the Dark then turned the two weasels toward their peers.
"Now young'uns this is … what are your names?"
"Yarr I'm Ripeye! D'ye like tah play pirates?" The older of the siblings snapped as he leaped forward.
There was no response as the dibbuns watched Ripeye with eyes as large as the moon. Ribeye felt that he had done something terribly wrong.
"An I'm Twinetail." His brother quickly added, poking his head out from behind the older sibling. Again, there was an awkward silence.
"Thank you." The Queen of the Dark started with a tired sigh before raising her voice for all the dibbuns to hear.
"These vermin are going to join us just for this winter. I would like you all to be kind to them as you would be to your brothers and sisters."
"Yes, Sister Lilac." The dibbuns chimed in unison.
"Splendid. Today you can play in the orchard and beneath the oak on the other side of the library. Shmoopy and I will be out there to make sure that you stay out of the greenhouse and away from the pond."
There's a pond! This place is awesome! Now we can be real pirates! Ripeye's face lit up as he imagined all the adventurous possibilities.
"Remember the rules dibbuns, no fighting, hitting, roughhousing, cursing, biting, clawing, running, teasing, spitting, kicking, stabbing or yelling at one another."
Ripeye frowned. That's no fun, we could do whatever we wanted in the horde. This Queen of the Dark and her smushy assistant are no fun after all.
"If any of you must go to the bathroom, please let me know. There's no need to hold it." The Queen of the Dark said with a hint of frustration before collecting herself.
"Now are there any questions?"
Ripeye was the first to bark a question. "Yarr kin we go to tha big tower? I wanna ring tha bell."
The portly hedgehog glared at him like she was about to pull off her belt and strike him with it.
"Absolutely not! It's far too icy and dangerous for any of the dibbuns. Besides you can hear the bell perfectly fine from here."
Drats! More rules!
"But what if we wanna see it up close? Kin we walk over to it but not ring it?" Ripeye pressed. The Queen of the Dark didn't change her expression.
"No! You might not be aware but before you arrived a stone fell from the tower and almost crushed a beast."
"Wow that's so cool!" Ripeye and Twinetail shouted.
"It was not cool!" She snapped making the two of them jump. "If I catch either of you near the bell tower, you're getting a paddling and then I'm taking you back to your parents! That goes for the rest of you as well."
What's not cool about a stone almost hitting a beast? The other kits from the horde would've thought it was amazing. These Woodlanders must not know how to have fun.
The procession of dibbuns was led by Sister Lilac in two orderly lines. Ripeye and Twinetail shuffled into the rear as the thin mouse fell into position behind them. The evil queen was as fat as a roly-poly and as round as one too. Ripeye couldn't stand how slowly they wound through the seemingly never-ending halls of the abbey. Eventually, the hedgehog must've remembered where they were headed and soon enough Ripeye could feel the cool winter's air.
There must've been some snow the night before as the ground was coated in a fine blanket of white. Ripeye couldn't believe how large the orchard was, or how dead it was. Their spindly grey branches stretched up into the sky far above him or curled into their trunks like the limbs of dead spiders. He tried counting the rows of trees but quickly ran out of claws to do so. Beyond the trees was a small grove of bushes and tall bright red walls. To his left, there were several trees surrounding a frozen pond. Ripeye wondered if the ice was thick enough to hold him. But the wicked hedgehog's ire warned him away from it for now. Several of the dibbuns had broken rank and were heading into the orchard. Ripeye hoped he could catch up and play with them.
"Twinetail yew kin climb tha trees and jump between 'em like squirrels!" The older weasel excitedly told his brother.
"There will be absolutely no jumping between trees!" The Queen of the Dark snapped. "You two are allowed to play with the dibbuns if you're on your best behavior."
"Yarr I heard ye the first time." Ripeye snapped, before shrinking beneath the hedgehog's withering glare.
Off to his right, several dibbuns trudged through the snow toward a windowless section of the abbey. Upon closer inspection there were windows, but they were near the top of the building just underneath the roof that looked like a damp pinecone. The trio disappeared around the corner of the building without any shouting or calling from the evil queen or her minion. Ripeye suspected it was a safe enough choice to follow them and escape.
"Come on Twine let's git outa here," Ripeye said, grabbing his brother's paw and running after the mysterious dibbuns.
"Why are we runnin' Rip? My paws are cold and me socks are gettin' wet." The snow was deep enough to flood the openings to their borrowed boots.
"Quit cryin' and keep movin' were almost to tha wall." Ripeye barked at his brother.
Ripeye watched the other dibbuns scatter into the dead grove. Most seemed to be going about their own way but eyed the weasels from a safe distance.
"Jump inta their tracks it'll make them easier tah follow." Ripeye snapped pulling his brother along with him as they raced through the snow. The large section of the abbey that jutted out so oddly was rounded as if it was half a stone from a sling. Ripeye couldn't believe the size of the building, it was as if it were cut straight from the side of a mountain. He felt dizzy just looking up at it.
"Rip deres a beast followin' us," Twinetail said with enough worry for his older brother to turn his head.
Sure, enough a hare with fur as white as snow was hopping strategically between their tracks in the snow. She fixed her gaze on the two brothers, Ripeye assumed she wanted to play with them. As much as the weasel kit wanted a playmate, he wanted someone other than a hare. There were plenty of those annoying beasts flooding the infirmary.
"Hurry up yah slug or else she'll catch us."
"Who'll catch us?"
"A hare now keep yer short legs movin'!"
The two weasels raced around the side of the building vanishing from the crotchety hedgehog's view. In front of them rested a massive oak surrounded by several benches covered in powdery white snow. The trunk was so large Ripeye didn't think that Marrow could wrap his arms around it. The trail of the three beasts he and his brother were chasing led straight toward the tree before disappearing.
"Whaddaya think she wants Rip?"
"I don' know somethin' stupid probably. Hares are as smart as gulls remembah."
The brothers reached the trunk of the oak panting as they slid to a stop.
"Halt ye vermin marauders state yer bizznuss." A voice from far above called out to them.
"Yarr I'm Ripeye the Blackthorn most feared pirate in these here waters!"
"I'm Twinetail Darkeye the most evil first mate in the seas." Twinetail giggled, happy to find beasts to play with.
"Run off vermin!" A different voice snapped at the brothers. "Lest we show ye a taste of our fury!"
This is going to be fun! These woodlanders really do know how to play pirates.
"What d'ye have hide'n in this here tree mousie? Scared tah share it wid me?" Ripeye tutted and shook his head. "Tis a shame that we must slay ya for it, it truly can't be that important."
"Come up here and take it vermin! We'll show ye the fury of Redwall's champions!"
The three dibbuns cheered heartily as they jumped on the branches dropping clumps of snow on the weasel's head. Ripeye jumped out of the way to avoid the snow, but his brother was not as lucky and was knocked to the ground.
"Yew jelly-legged fools have sealed your fate!" Ripeye shouted with palpable glee.
As fast as he could Ripeye stooped over and grabbed clumps of snow compacting them into snowballs and hurling them at the beasts in the tree. Most missed their target but hit the branches shattering into several smaller trails of white blinding and disorienting the defenders. As quick as a flash Twinetail was by his side and the two brothers laughed madly as they continued the assault.
"Yarr kin beg for mercy, but nothin' kin save ye now!" Ripeye barked hurling a snowball that impacted the trunk near a hedgehog that hung on a branch.
"Stop!" The hedgehog called as he wiped the snow from his eyes.
The Redwallers clearly didn't expect the pirate's onslaught and they frantically jumped from branch to branch to escape from the endless assault. Ripeye knew that the defenders were at a severe disadvantage. The oak was covered in brown and wilting leaves which held a bit of snow. Not enough to make a snowball but enough to be dangerous to stand underneath. The only thing the defenders could do was hope that the weasels were foolish enough to get close to the tree and cry out for them to stop. Ripeye cackled as he knew their ammo would run out soon enough. He bounced underneath the tree then rushed out egging them on to drop the snow and lose more of their precious ammo. Twinetail was a bit less coordinated, but he kept continuous pressure on their enemy. Narrowly missing falling snow as he danced about in a maddening pattern.
"Ha, we gottem now Rip!" Twinetail laughed as he continued to hurl snowballs at the dibbuns in the trees.
"Quick, they're fleein' to the back of the tree! We kin ambush 'em there!" Ripeye ordered as he stooped over to make several more snowballs. Twinetail led the charge to the rear with his brother hot on his tail.
"There dey are! Get 'em!" Twinetail shouted pointing at the dibbuns crawling down the trunk. The mouse was on the ground helping a hedgehog climb down as an otter waited eagerly from a branch far too high to jump down from.
"Stop!" The otter cried. Ripeye and his brother didn't hear him as they laughed like mad beasts and threw snowball after snowball at the retreating dibbuns. Several hit their target to devastating effect knocking the hedgehog from the trunk and landing blows to the mouse's face and chest.
"Vermin scum!" A voice called out from behind the weasels before a snowball exploded on Twinetail's head. Ripeye whipped his head to the side to see the white-furred hare with another snowball trained at him. Ripeye dove to the side to avoid the snow screaming toward his face.
"Yarr so yer dere reinforcements. Well lass, deres no need tah beg fo-" Ripeye was unable to finish his sentence as a snowball whizzed past his ear.
"Beg for what, ya dirty coward? I'm not tha one who runs with my tail tucked between my legs." She snapped holding her pink nose high.
"T'was gonna give ye mercy but now there's no quarter!" Ripeye snapped with a maniacal laugh. He scrabbled about making another snowball before hurling it at the hare.
"Twinetail keep tha defenders at bay, this rabbets mine!" Ripeye ordered with a playful flourish launching salvo after salvo at the hare who returned his advances.
Ripeye kept his furious assault hitting the hare several times. He was about to close the distance when he was knocked into the snow from behind. Rolling about the furious mouse stood overtop him and stuffed snow into his cloak. Ripeye roared in fury, grabbed the mouse's leg, and twisted it, sending the shorter mouse to the snow as Ripeye quickly jumped on top of him.
"Got ye now mousie!" Ripeye Laughed with glee as he maliciously stuffed the dibbuns cloak in turn.
Ripeye didn't notice the otter sneaking from behind until he was face-first in the snow as he was tackled from behind. With a yelp, Ripeye rolled about as the otter's fist slammed into his face. For a moment Ripeye was stunned before fury tore through him.
Pirates are the ones who win, not these stinking woodlanders!
"Die yew mud-brained, two-toed, riverdog!" The weasel shouted as he scratched at the otter who continued to slap and scratch at the weasel.
"Shuddup yew dirty vermin!" The otter roared tossing more snow on the weasel. "I told yew tah go away!"
Twinetail barreled into the otter with a mighty whump knocking him from his brother. The otter and weasel rolled about in the snow kicking, scratching, and cursing each other. The mouse had rushed over and was trying to rip Twinetail off the otter. Shouting Ripeye tackled the mouse landing in a furious scrum on top of the other two dibbuns.
"Yarr ya dung-brained maggot!" Ripeye stuffed snow down the mouse's cloak. "Don' touch me brother!"
"Shuddup ye villyun!" The mouse shot as he scratched at the weasel.
There was a muffled scream from beneath Ripeye as the otter forced Twinetail's head into the snow. Ripeye threw a furious flurry of blows at the otter hitting him in the face with as much force as he could muster. The otter was stunned for a moment before madly swinging back. The mouse grabbed Ripeye from behind giving the otter an opening to land several punches. The mouse yelped in pain as Twinetail bit into his pink tail.
"That's enough!" Snapped Sister Lilac who stormed to the fighting beasts with Shmoopy on her heels. In the distance, several dibbuns watched from afar.
The mouse kicked Twinetail's head dislodging his tail as the vermin cried out in pain.
"Lay a claw on 'em again and I'll kill ye mouse!" Ripeye swung about and punched his nose sending the smaller beast sprawling to the ground. To Ripeye's surprise, the mouse didn't burst into tears as he expected him to.
"Thats enough you vile cretin!" Sister Lilac shouted grabbing Ripeye's wrist, twisting it as she yanked him toward her.
"Ow! Watch it yew stupid hedgepig!" Ripeye cried as his elbow was wrenched in pain.
Sister Lilac backhanded the weasel. "I told yew the rules and was foolish enough to think you would listen."
"Yer rules are stupid! Yew vile old hag!" Ripeye was cuffed once more before being pulled to within a whisker of the hedgehog.
"Watch yer tone lest I call the Long Patrol or Eli to deal with ye!" She hissed. Ripeye tried to squirm free from her iron grip which was beginning to hurt his arm. "I swear I'll toss yer, whole villainous group, out meself if ye dare lay a paw on another dibbun!"
Ripeye scrunched his face in an attempt not to cry. Everybeast was staring at him, most looked furious. What did I do wrong? Nobeast ever had a problem with pirates in the horde. All the kits loved it! These dibbuns only got mad when they were losing so they had to call the Queen of the Dark. Those ugly, forked-tongued cheaters! Pirates never got any help from their parents, so why should they?
"The six of you have lost your outside privileges! You're all spending the rest of the day in timeout or until your parents come to pick you up. Then we'll have a long talk with your parents about how horrible you've been." Sister Lilac snapped taking Twinetail by the arm.
"But I didn't do anything." The hare protested, her horrified expression flitting between the weasel brothers and the hedgehog.
"Don't you lie to me, young lady!" The hedgehog snapped. "I expect so much better from you Bramble. Just wait until your father hears about this!" The hare shut her mouth.
"As for you three troublemakers," She Queen of the Dark turned her attention to the dibbun trio. "I would hope you'd stay out of my sight, especially with these two vile brutes joining us."
"We did but they kept throwing snow at us." The otter pleaded.
"You started it by dumping snow onta our heads." Ripeye snapped. Twinetail was fearfully gnawing on his paw once again.
"Enough! If you all want to keep talking back, then yew can talk to the paddle." She snapped as the dibbuns bickering ceased. "I'm disappointed in all of you, although I would expect it from you two vile creatures!"
The dibbuns shuffled their way back toward the abbey's main hall. The hedgehog's nails dug into the vermin's wrist making escape impossible.
"Good job ya stupid weasel." The mouse hissed as he walked past.
"Shuddup mouse." Ripeye snapped softly enough not to be heard as his heart dropped into his stomach.
Ripeye's rear stung from the hedgehog's favored form of punishment. He was thankful that the hedgehog wasn't as harsh as his father as he could still sit without much discomfort. Twinetail had burst into tears at the sight of the paddle. What hurt more than the hedgehog's discipline was that her wrath seemed focused only on him and Twinetail. The other dibbuns were forced to sit in the corner and watch. It wasn't fair since they were the ones that had started it. Ripeye slid down in his stool as he glared at the tick-brained mouse and barnicle-nosed otter.
The six dubbuns sat in a long room adjacent to the infirmary that faced the main gate of the Abbey. Ripeye heard the hedgehog call this room the nursery as she hauled them inside. The room was filled with younger kits like Fenril and the squirrel that the vermin had picked up on their journey. There were several cribs aligned along the wall and the floor was covered in several large, multicolored rugs. It was run by a withered old shrew whose fur hung in places like wet sheets and smiled a sweet gap-toothed smile at the dibbuns, save Ripeye and his brother. Both the mouse and the nursery smelled like an old coat that hadn't seen the light of day in over a season. A small fire crackled at the end of the room where the troublemakers sat. The fire kept the room nice and warm, but it melted the snow that was stuffed into his coat, chilling him more than when he was outside.
Twinetail sat on a stool on the opposite wall between the otter and the mouse who had caused their punishment. He continued to bite his paw like a baby wiping the damp fur on his face with his red cloak. Ripeye sat beneath a square window with the absent-minded hedgehog to his right and the sniffling hare to his left.
"Stop cryin' hare." The old shrew didn't look like she could hear very well so Ripeye didn't bother whispering.
"Shuddup yew villyun!" She snapped. "We could be playing in tha snow but yer a stupid toad licker!"
"Yew wanted tah follow us," Ripeye rolled his eyes. "An yew threw snow at Twinetail. The Queen of tha Dark shoulda paddled yew instead of me?"
"Shuddup ya numptie!" She snapped. "An who's the Queen of tha Dark?"
"That vile hedgehog." Ripeye could assume now that vile was an apt representation of her.
"You're tha idiots who started tha fight. An Sister Lilac's not vile yew are!" She snapped her face twisting in anger.
"We were playin' an those stupid beasts cheated by gettin' yer hedgehog ta save them." Ripeye snarled toward the otter and mouse. "Thats against tha rules!"
"We didn't want tah play wid ya snot-nosed vermin. An you knocked Twiggy outta the tree." The mouse hissed careful not to be heard by the old shrew at the end of the room.
"Well, yew kicked Twinetail!"
"I'll kick him again if he bites me."
"I'll bite yer throat mouse then how are ye gonna kick me?" Twinetail snapped.
"I'll get Eli tah kick yew." The mouse snapped back at the smaller weasel.
"Who's Eli?"
The mouse leaned forward in his chair as a serious look flitted across his face. "He's Redwall's champion. An destroyer of all vermin!"
"You mean the mouse with one leg?" Ripeye rolled his eyes once again. "How is he gonna kick Twinetail if he's got one leg?"
"He doesn't need tah kick ya. He'll just cut his head off with his giant sword." The otter voiced.
"How's he gonna do that widout cuttin' 'is tail off ye arse faced riverdog?"
"He's … he kin do it. He's Redwall's champion." The otter protested.
"Sounds like yer scared." Ripeye stuck his tongue out at the otter. "An I bet eyer scared of that vile Queen of the Dark too!"
"Wot kind of stupid name is Queen of tha Dark?" The otter asked. "Is it what yew call yer mum?"
"It's tha stupid hedgepig ya dumb riverdog." Ripeye barked spittle falling from his mouth.
"Don't let her hear ye call 'er that, or else she'll rip yer tail off." The hedgehog next to him chimed in.
"I'm not afraid of that old hag!" Ripeye snapped.
"Of course, yew aint' jus' let us know when yer gonna tell 'er that." The mouse responded, folding his arms and looking away from the weasel. "I'll help yew try an escape."
"Yer just scared tah call her that yerself. Why should I do all tha work just to get in trouble?"
"B'cause Sister Lilac is the darkest and most evil beast in tha whole abbey!" The hedgehog leaned over and whispered in Ripeye's ear. "She kin walk through walls and even scares Eli!"
Ripeye scoffed. "No beast kin walk through walls. Even tha seers from tha horde couldn't do that!"
"But she can!" The hedgehog's small eyes were wide with terror. "A few days before yew came tah Redwall Beskit, Karic and I were runnin' after she caught us playing tag on the walls. We ran inta the great hall, past tha kitchen and inta the cellar. We thought we lost her, but she appeared outah thin air and scared us!"
"She probably found another way in."
"There's only one way in!" The otter interjected. "I closed the cellar door and locked it. I even smeared some honey on the handle to slow down any beast who chased after us. When she caught us she took us back the way we came and the door was still locked and the honey was still on tha handle!"
Twinetail's mouth dropped open. "She knows magiks?"
"Maybe." The otter shrugged. "I've asked her and she says that she doesn't have any magik."
"She's lying!" Twinetail exclaimed. "I'm an expert liar an I would never admit to something I was doing."
"Karic, yer imagination's bigger than your brain." The hare interrupted. "There's probably a hidden entrance that she knows about that we don't."
"I asked Samuel about it an he didn't know of any hidden entrance to the cellar." The otter Karic responded. "An you love kissing her paws, Bramble. You probably tattled when we stuffed that fish intah Mildred's bed."
Bramble scrunched her pink nose at the accusation. "I did because Mildred's a kind old squirrel you heartless brute."
"Well, Mildred was laughing about it when Sister Lilac told her. Even then Sister Lilac still gave us extra chores for a week!"
Ripeye sneered as Karic and Bramble began to argue about who had more rocks in their brain and smelled the worst. Their bickering wasn't interesting anymore, although Twinetail appeared to eat it up. The sun was high in the sky and warmed the back of Ripeye's head as he turned to look out the window behind him. He had to stand on his stool to get his chin above the windowsill. The window had an excellent view of the courtyard below and a nearly unobstructed one of the large swaths of untouched snow between the main hall and the distant abbey walls. Several bare trees and bushes were scattered near the abbey's walls which would be great for hiding in and could provide easy access to the walls if needed. Ripeye noted a forge that looked no larger than his fist from the window. Marrow was off to the side cutting the limbs off the trunk of a recently felled tree while Seabane followed around a short beast that the weasel suspected was a mole.
Why are we being bossed around by these stupid woodlanders? I bet Marrow and Seabane could take this abbey if they wanted to. Even Ruddy could slay these frog-mouthed fools.
Several beasts were well over a stone's throw from Seabane that looked like they were sparring with each other. Ripeye remembered seeing the vermin in the horde spar almost every day, the Redwallers looked timid and slow compared to the vermin. They didn't swing their swords about hacking at everything, brute forcing their way through their opponent's guard. They just tapped here and there like a woodpecker searching for a meal before half swinging their sword toward their opponent. It was pathetic to watch.
It's surprising some horde hasn't taken control of this abbey. Ripeye thought as he watched a squirrel fall backward after tripping over his paws. This weak training continued for another several minutes. Ripeye was getting bored before they all stopped and looked back toward the abbey as Ruddy hobbled into view. He moved about on a pair of crutches and to Ripeye's shock the fox was missing a part of his leg.
"Twinetail, Ruddy's lost his leg!"
"What lemme see!" His brother raced across the room and jumped onto the stool.
"Watch yer claws fool!"
"What are yew idjits doing?" Bramble snapped. "If Sister Adelina sees you then we'll all be in trouble!"
"She's as deaf as stone. Besides we're not fightin'." Ripeye sneered at the fretful hare.
"I've gotten in enough trouble because of yew stupid vermin." She snapped grabbing on Ripeye's cloak trying to pull him away from the window. "I'm not getting into any more."
"Leggo yew idjit we're not gonna get in trouble!" Ripeye hissed.
"Tha hare just hit ruddy! Now they're fightin'!" Twinetail proclaimed as he jumped up and down on his brother's stool.
"Who's fightin'?" The mouse bolted toward the window joining the balancing act on the stool with the two weasel brothers.
"Where?" asked the hedgehog as she slid his stool against the window.
"I can't see 'em." Karic snapped as he quickly rushed to the window.
"Dere by the wall!" Twinetail shouted as he pointed at the ensuing mele in the distance. "Ruddy got close enough tah lay a claw on tha Rabbet and they started fightin'!"
The dibbuns shushed the loud vermin, there was no reason to alert Sister Adelina when there was a fight to watch.
"Why'd tha hare throw a punch?"
"Who's Ruddy?"
"D'ye see that giant rat? He's gotta be tha size of Sister Beryl."
"What are they doin' now?"
"Get down from there you dumb brutes!" The hare snapped as she pulled Ripeye and the mouse down from the window. "Why are you all so interested in fighting? It's stupid an-."
"Bramble, it looks like yer father's about to cross blades wiv tha fox!"
Another one with classic dibbun squabbling, I hope you enjoyed it!
As always please let me know what you think and what I can improve on. Any and all feedback is appreciated!