The next morning after yet another restless night, Frederick considered whether there was anyone aboard his ship that he could talk to about the situation with Anne. Captains as a rule did not typically have friends or confidants aboard. Or perhaps other captains did, but Frederick was not one of them.

He had friends a plenty among the crew he served with when he was a midshipman and even a lieutenant, but things were different when he was in charge. It would not do to seem to be favoring one of his men over another, though of course the higher ranked the man, the more he would interact with him as was only natural to keep the ship and its crew performing as it ought. However he kept his discussions with such men focused on their duties as much as he could.

When Frederick thought he ought, such as when it seemed to be impacting one of his men's performance, he might inquire about the man's family or whatever seemed to be troubling him. He would listen to other men talk about their concerns and often learn more than he wanted to know. He kept their personal matters to himself. Frederick did his best to show them compassion, but he would not let them use such matters as an excuse for shirking of duties, angry outbursts and the like.

Where other men might let their personal problems distract them, Frederick used to joke that he was married to his ship, that she was the first thing he thought about when he woke up and the last thing he thought about at night. It was not really true (for far longer than he had a right to do so, Anne usually occupied his thoughts in those minutes before his day began and ended).

The Laconia was only wood, metal and cloth. While commanding her was Frederick's greatest professional achievement thus far, she would likely have a much shorter life on the sea than the men who rode on her decks, masts, on her riggings and in her belly.

The Laconia was precious, though, because she protected and carried him and his men upon an ocean that was willing and able to swallow them whole. She had a nimbleness and fleetness among the best of what the navy had to offer in a frigate. She enabled him to serve, protect and support the British Empire more so than even a member of Parliament. For what could those men do but pass laws, the success of many which would flounder, were nothing without the navy to see them through. Men sacrificed their lives for such things and Frederick would do the same if needed.

Not for the first time, Frederick considered how glad he was to be occupying a profession where advancement could not be bought, where merit mattered. True, being well connected was an advantage and the children of important families might be expected to climb the ranks more quickly, or not to receive the punishment they well and truly deserved.

There were many who might linger as midshipmen when they had the experience and wisdom to captain a vessel, but it was Frederick's belief that at least most of those that well and truly deserved to rise would eventually. They could improve their chances by impressing their superiors, showing bravery in battle, formulating a creative solution to a problem, and being lucky.

Frederick believed in luck. He had seen too many occurrences which pointed to it, far too many to think what occurred to each man's destiny was simply a matter of chance.

Luck or lack of it could place a man in a location where in the heat of a battle he should have been wounded or killed, but received not but a tiny scratch which could have occurred in many daily activities while those nearby all perished. Lack of luck seemed to be responsible when men cut down in the prime of life or even while still boys just from being a foot too much to the right or left, being a second too early or too late, standing up or bending down at the wrong time, being at the wrong spot in the rigging, standing too close to an ill loaded cannon that seemed no different from its fellows or inexplicably angering the wrong person with an innocuous comment or even just a glance.

Frederick had known men whose entire lives seemed charmed. They drew the best cards, happened to slip on a wet deck at the most opportune moment to avoid an enemy's cutlass, caught the prettiest girl's eye by happenstance.

Frederick recalled one incident when he was certain a midshipman, Drake, who everyone agreed was very lucky, had just had his luck run out. Drake seemed certain to perish when he inexplicably stayed upright when an attacking French vessel with more guns, met the Laconia with its broadside. Frederick had ordered all to duck and wait out its first assault before returning fire when the two ships were closest to each other. Everyone was yelling at Drake to lie down, but then suddenly everything hit at once, wood splintering toward him and yet somehow all the fragments avoided him but for a fragment that skittered off his musket to fall harmlessly to his side.

Another man, on his belly a foot or two from him, and partially shielded by Drake, caught an unfortunate shard of wood that pierced one of his eyes and cut a deep groove through the other, costing him one eye entirely and partially blinding his other eye. The man on the other side of Drake had his throat ripped out by another wood shard and lost his life before there was even time to aid him. A third man nearby suffered powder burns and a nasty gash to his shin which became infected and cost him his leg.

The men afterwards claimed that Drake somehow diverted the harm he deserved to the men around him and resolved to stay away from him. However within a matter of days it seemed they had forgotten all about it, and welcomed him back into their company, perhaps another sign of his luck.

Frederick knew, though, that luck could be a fickle lady. Sometimes it seemed that a significant catastrophe was imposed to balance a man's accounts. He had wondered if losing Anne was needed to balance out the luck he had in being named a commander while their was yet no ship for him, and immediately after losing her when he was desperate to gain a ship let him acquire the Asp and then have such success aboard her with the fairest weather, rather than having her vanish into the sea with himself aboard. Losing his dearest love might thus be the thing which allowed him to succeed to the Laconia and already gain a substantial fortune.

Was he tempting fate to be seeking to be reunited with Anne? Would he have to pay a large price as a result, or even perhaps have himself or her struck down? Frederick hoped not. Luck could not be so cruel to him, could it?

For not the first time, he wished to talk with someone aboard about Anne.