Chapter 28: Pain

Elizabeth sat in the carriage gazing out the window. She hardly paid attention to the children talking to her. About half ago, she had watched Ashton Park fade away from her sight.

She was on the way to Grovner Park with Lord Ashton's family. The couple had taken a separate carriage. The children, their nanny, Elizabeth, and a maid had taken a bigger carriage. Lady Martha was not very welcoming to the idea of the children travelling in a separate carriage. Lord Ashton had to reason with her that they would be more comfortable in the bigger carriage.

"What do you say about this arrangement, Miss Smith? I wonder if it would be such an inconvenience for his children accompany him and his wife in their carriage. It is not a question of privacy when it comes to his own children."

She had said to Elizabeth with a sense of annoyance during tea the previous day.

"If I may speak plainly madam, I could share my thoughts on the subject."

"Well, I do not know any instance where you have not been open with me. Please go ahead."

"As much as the children would like to travel with their father, that case would press me and their nanny to travel in the same carriage. Between all of us, I think the children would never settle down or rest during the journey. They may not want to sleep or ask their father to play with them most of the time. I think it is a better choice for them to travel separately."

Lady Martha had to agree with Elizabeth's point. She had more often than not seen her son pamper the twins, trying to compensate for his absence at times due to business or his commitments with Lady Isabella.

That morning, Elizabeth had bid a tearful goodbye to her employer.

They were to reach Grovner Park by morning. Elizabeth gazed out of the window, seeing the hills rolling by. Her heart and mind were with one man who was currently absent from Derbyshire.

She recalled the events of the previous week with sadness.

The day after the proposal, Georgiana visited Elizabeth in distress. She informed Elizabeth that her brother had left Pemberley owing to some urgent business in town. Elizabeth could not believe it.

"Oh! I feel so wretched. You are leaving soon, and he is also not here. I am going to feel so lonely. I do not know what came up so suddenly. He said he had to leave and left even without breaking his fast. I am worried, Miss Smith. I feel something is wrong. I do not know what. I wish he told me."

Elizabeth did not know how to console Georgiana, fully aware of the reason behind Darcy's sudden departure.

She replayed her words during the rejection of Darcy's proposal.

She had accused him of ruining her life in Derbyshire. He has left so that I would not have to endure his presence. Good God! He left even Georgiana for the sake of what I said. She felt extremely guilty and agitated.

She was ashamed to see Georgiana's face. She knew how much Darcy's absence would affect her.

The whole week was difficult for Elizabeth. Every time she sat in the parlour, Darcy's face haunted her.

His devastation as she rejected him was evident in every feature of his face. Elizabeth could not imagine what he was going through.

Not only had she rejected him, but questioned the nature of his feelings in the most unfair way.

He had removed himself from Derbyshire for her sake.

Elizabeth just hoped that whatever she had done was for the best. She knew the ramifications of disclosing her true feelings and accepting his offer were more devastating to Darcy.

Now, she was on the way to an unknown household with no idea what the future would hold. She somehow felt a little agitated.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Emily wanting to sit on her lap. She carried the child lovingly and looked outside the window.

"I like you a lot, Miss Smith," Emily said and hugged Elizabeth with love,

Elizabeth hugged the little girl tightly, needing it more than ever.

Darcy, on the hand, sat in his study feeling lost. It was almost a week since he had left Pemberley. He had left the very next day after his proposal.

He felt he had no other choice. He was certain that he could never forget his love. His sentiments and love for Elizabeth were for life. From her words, he realised that she hated him. He did not want to pain her anymore. As guilty as he was of leaving Georgiana behind, he felt it was the best thing to do at present.

He did not want to go back anytime soon.

He was not in command of himself when he was around her. All he knew now was to be away from her. No one was aware of his presence in town except his cousin Richard and his close friend Mr. Bingley.

Richard had visited him a couple of times during the week.

"I do not know why you look so ghastly, Darcy. Pray tell me, is something the matter with Georgana?" Richard asked during one of his visits.

"No, nothing."

"Is it because her friend Miss Smith is travelling?"

Darcy winced when he heard the mention of Elizabeth.

"I am telling you. Nothing is the matter with Georgiana."

"Then why are you here all of a sudden?"

"Bingley needs my assistance. He has bought a property in Hertfordshire."

"So, you decided to leave in such a hurry?"

"He needs me at Netherfield at the earliest."

Richard was silent. He knew something was bothering Darcy.

"When are you leaving to see him?"

"Tomorrow," Darcy replied without emotion. The last thing he wanted at the moment was to spend time in the company of Miss Bingley. But he had promised to help Mr. Bingley, so he wanted to take care of the matter.

The next day, he started early. He had never been to Hertfordshire before. But he distinctly remembered his aunt mentioning something about the place.

He finally remembered that Lady Catherine's parson has some relations in Hertfordshire. He cared nothing about the matter. He was in no mood to form new acquaintances or engage in social events.

According to him, his life was nothing without Elizabeth. He had no hope of winning her affection, nor did he have any way to ensure her welfare. He knew the last thing she would want from him was any assistance in the world. That was what she had exactly accused him of. It devastated him when he realised that she could never understand his love. All she thought of his feelings were those of pity or an attempt to save her from miseries as a governess.

He reached Netherfield and was welcomed by Mr. Bingley and his sisters with warmth. Mr. Hurst was still in town.

Mr. Darcy was delighted to see his friend, the same could not be said about his sister.

Her over-attentiveness to Darcy made him detest her presence as soon as he entered the house. He was glad when Mr. Bingley ushered him to his study.

"I am so glad you could be here, Darcy. How is Miss Darcy?"

"She is well."

"She must miss you. You could have brought her along."

"Maybe next time I will."

"I have never been so delighted by the prospects of new acquaintances, Darcy. I met so many interesting people over the past two weeks."

"People?"

"Well, young ladies. To be precise."

There he goes again.

"Do not be irritated, but I have no interest in your ramblings about pretty faces."

"Don't be such a spoiled sport. You will be delighted by the company here, pretty faces, dancing, and a lot of music."

"I am entertained by none of these. By now, you should know."

"Oh! Darcy, I think I may find a suitable match for myself here. Even though my sisters are quite against it."

"I assume you are already in love then."

"No, not quite. But I am indeed captivated by a young woman, Miss Bennet. She is the daughter of a respectable man who owns the Longbourn estate. She is an angel, Darcy. You must see or yourself."

"Please understand, I have come here to assist you in the affairs of Netherfield. Not to socialise."

"Oh! You must. There is a gathering at Lucas Lodge tomorrow evening. You must come."

Darcy was in no mood to prolong the conversation.

He took to the task at hand and asked Mr. Bingley for a tour of the house. Within a couple of hours, he was shown the entire property, the stables and the grounds.

He found Netherfield pleasing and suitable for his friend.

Darcy wanted to go for a ride. Mr. Bingley joined him. They rode around the fields, and Darcy saw a nearby mount. Mr. Bingley declared that he had never gone up the mount.

Darcy steered him towards the direction of the mount. He was captivated by the views as they climbed up.

When they reached the top, Mr. Bingley noticed Darcy stop abruptly.

"What is the matter?" he asked.

Darcy did not reply. He could not believe his eyes.

It cannot be. It cannot be her. Am I dreaming?

His eyes were fixed on the slender form of a young woman sitting on the ledge at a distance. He could not see her face. She held a book in her hands and wore a bonnet. But he could not mistake the striking resemblance of the woman.

Elizabeth?

Dear Readers,

I wish you all a very happy new year 2024. Thank you for your reviews and support. I assure you that this story is a HEA. Please keep reading.