I Want to thank Luna and Oxblood for beta reading and editing the chapter and providing feedback : D
Before reading
This chapter includes two songs and I strongly suggest to listen to them while reading the scenes since the music helps to feel what peeps are feeling in the scene. I wrote the scenes and reactions hopefully as the music flows with it. I indicated when to start listening to the music as follows:
** (Fade to Black – Metallica) **
** (Paranoid – Black Sabbath) **
Chapter 5
The Past
Adam lay asleep, under many blankets, as he often did now, far from the main city of heaven, perched atop a large tree in a nest he had created, his 'home' obscured by moss. Suddenly, Moro peeked through, calling out his name with a bright smile to deliver 'great' news.
"Humans have arrived in heaven," Moro announced.
Truth be told, Adam didn't know how to react, but he left his nest as Moro had instructed and flew with him to the city. They landed on the main street to stand by the gates.
"We should get you something to cover yourself," Moro said, eyeing Adam's naked body. "We don't want you to frighten them."
Adam's brows furrowed, not understanding what Moro meant by his words.
Was there something wrong with his body?
He glanced down at himself, and suddenly a white robe enveloped his body.
"There, you look respectable now," Moro said with satisfaction.
Adam felt a twist in his chest at the angel's words and had the urge to rip the robe off, but he pushed aside his thoughts. Moro then invited him to sing along just as the gates opened to reveal two young women who resembled felines, wearing robes themselves, looking identical to each other, gazing in awe at the city as they entered. The angels accompanying them, along with Moro, sang to them, welcoming them to heaven.
Adam, however, did not join, unable to find the melody within him.
"They're twins," Moro whispered to him after the singing ceased. "Apparently, they perished together in a snowstorm, clinging to one another, the poor dears."
Adam couldn't fathom how these women could be human when they bore no resemblance to one. They appeared to be some sort of cat-like creatures.
Adam stared at the young women being led in his direction.
Moro greeted them before introducing Adam.
"He's the first human to have entered heaven," Moro explained with pride, the women in awe as they gazed at Adam, especially noting his beautiful golden wings and how he remained looking human. Adam, though, didn't know what to do at this moment. For a long time, he had only interacted, albeit rarely, with angels and not with humans. Moreover, the two young women looked nothing like him, nor Lilith, nor Eve, nor his children. They were complete strangers.
Then again, he couldn't remember how his children looked anymore; they felt as though they were just figments of his imagination by now.
"I anticipate that you will show him the respect he deserves," Moro told the young women. "He serves as the model you ought to follow. Thanks to him, he instilled hope in us that humans could join us up in heaven."
The women seemed to grow nervous, their stares ending on him, before they bowed their heads to him out of respect, just as they had done with the earlier angels.
An angel led the women away, and Adam watched them leave, holding hands, making his heart ache for Lilith… pushing him to forget about her completely as best as he could.
Adam would stand with Moro to greet the humans who gradually entered heaven over the years. Adam found himself completely lost at how different the humans continued to look as they arrived. However, Moro explained to him that human souls seemed to undergo changes in appearance upon death. There were perhaps a few souls who somewhat resemble actual humans, but even they still had some physical traits that made them appear non-human, which made Adam feel like he was the outsider now.
And to make things worse, they were all markedly different in their mannerisms, greetings, speech, preferences, and actions. Adam observed from afar how the humans interacted with one another, feeling sick and nauseous at the thought of engaging with them.
Because, truth be told, he didn't know how to talk to them without looking like a fool.
He had attempted once, years ago, when he approached one group. They greeted him respectfully, but they all had fallen into an awkward silence, the group seemed uncertain around him. They behaved similarly to how they did with high-ranking angels, displaying nervousness by him, which frustrated him, leading him to withdraw from them.
Adam had not made any further attempts to interact with humans more than he had to. Especially as other human souls didn't seem willing to approach him. They acted as if he was too 'holy' to disturb.
Honestly, he was beginning to get used to being alone; the pain in his chest had become a part of him; at least that is what he told himself every day.
The high-rank angels assigned him to keep 'watch' over 'their' people through a window, up on a tower. They had also said his presence there would inspire everyone to thrive in heaven.
In addition, they forced him to wear some sort of white mask that covered his whole head, with a yellow bright smile glowing on the front, to 'brighten' others if they spotted him if they looked up at the tower – the high-rank angels thought the lack of interest expression he wore on his face in the past years would cause other souls to feel uncomfortable around him.
But he had to admit, when he was walking in the streets of heaven, some humans would smile and greet him the same way they did with the angels. Their actions made the pain ache just a tiny bit less. Even though sometimes he felt something dark began to grow as well within his soul.
Heaven was livelier than ever before; so many souls had settled in the main city and on the outskirts as well. Adam's nest remained the same as before, the only thing that hadn't changed much. The rest of the forest where he lived was occupied by other humans who had built treehouses around.
Adam barely left his nest these days, he barely felt anything except numbness, hollow. The high-ranking angels had stopped coming to see him for the past years, too busy keeping their eyes on Earth or interacting with the newer humans... As if he didn't matter anymore…
As if he was just some old toy forgotten. A spirit simply drifting away away.
Honestly, what was so special about the other humans…?
For a while now, Adam was feeling the loneliness get unbearable, to the point that he would find himself breaking down in tears, but he fought against letting them out while he wrapped himself with his wings in his nest. Because he had never shed a tear before, and as the first man ever created he wasn't supposed to.
For some reason, shedding a tear like the rest of the souls terrified him. He wasn't sure why.
Maybe because he was in heaven and he was supposed to be happy? And if he cried... well, he wasn't sure what would happen.
At least, though… the food, thanks to the new people sharing recipes with the rest of heaven, provided him some sort of comfort. They were delicious, better than he had ever tasted in his existence. And the best part of it all was he had low ranking angels cooking the food and providing it to him as much as he pleased.
A young girl was crying, others trying to comfort her as they sat by a tree near Adam's home.
Adam was flying back before he noticed the group, descending near them. The group tensed up, looking up at him with worry.
Adam stared at them through his smiling mask, the anxiety building up before he walked over. A part of him didn't want to talk to them, but for some reason he pushed forward. He realized Emily, a young angel, was there, trying to comfort the young girl in her arms.
Emily looked up at him.
They barely knew each other. Sera tended to keep her close at all times.
The first time they met, Emily was rather shy when she introduced herself to him. Adam had simply given her his name before Sera took her away, even though she had looked eager to talk to him.
"She misses her parents," Emily told Adam.
"Are they not in heaven?" Adam asked.
"No… they're in hell," Emily said, looking down with sadness. "They died years before she did during a war."
Adam turned to the girl and repeated the words that Moro had once told him, to another soul they had found crying when they entered heaven and were told their wife was not there and would never see her again. "Do you wish to join them in hell?" Adam asked the young girl, whose eyes widened at the suggestion. Her fear was enough for Adam to continue. "Sinners should not be mourned for. They wasted their chance to join us. Now, end those tears and rejoice in the new life you've been blessed with," he said before simply turning away and flying off, leaving Emily in disbelief at his cold words and the rest of the group disheartened, as many also had loved ones they missed and who were sent to hell…
One day, Linep, a rather young natural angel whom Adam had met briefly before, came to him and asked if he wanted to join him in visiting Earth.
The suggestion confused Adam. He knew high ranking angels would sometimes visit earth, but he wasn't sure if he was allowed to go.
"I don't think that's a great idea," Adam responded with as he pulled off the mask to reveal dark circles underneath his eyes and a very pale face.
"Why not?" Linep asked Adam curiously. "You may have been human, but you're pratically one of us, so you have permission to go down there. At least that's what my brother told me."
Adam pondered his words but did not respond.
"Don't you want to see how much Earth has changed?" Linep asked him curiously.
Truth be told, Adam was kind of curious, especially considering how, in recent years, the new humans were more talkative and expressive than ever before, and he would overhear their conversations as he walked past them that almost sounded like they were speaking a different language.
Adam felt nervous, but accepted, as he knew angels tend to visit earth for long periods of time would mean he wouldn't be alone during that length of time; he would have Linep around.
Adam and Linep made their way to the gates, and without anyone noticing or stopping them, Linep grabbed Adam's hand, allowing a bright light to engulf them before they were teleported to a town.
"Welcome to Rheine, Germany!" Linep exclaimed with glee, but Adam was confused as he surveyed their surroundings.
They were hovering over cobbled streets. There were some towering cathedrals among the countless half-timbered homes. Greenery surrounded the town, and everything seemed rather calm.
** (Fade to Black – Metallica) **
"Oh, right, so... it's a city within a state of a country that humans created and has been flourishing since," Linep explained sheepishly, while Adam glanced at him silently, before both of them heard loud music emanating from an instrument Adam had never heard before. Well, it sounded similar to a guitar, but with an electronic twist to it.
Adam didn't think too much of it before the sound was accompanied by the rhythmic beats of drums.
"Oh, it looks like the humans are having a concert," Linep said with amusement, but he turned away without showing much interest in the instruments. "You know, this is definitely going to be good for you. You've been cooped up in heaven for far too long."
Adam watched him flying off to the opposite direction where the music was coming from and for a moment, he almost followed him, but… something tugged at Adam, deep in his heart. He hesitantly turned to where the sound was coming from before he took flight towards it, where lights danced under the night sky.
As he drew nearer, he found waves of humans gathered below, their hands raised as they waved small flames in unison, moving slowly and peacefully. Before them stood a stage from which the instrumental sounds emanated, with a group of musicians performing. Yet, one among them stood out as a beam of light illuminated his figure. The musician held a white guitar-like instrument, playing a melody that beckoned Adam closer to the music. The crowd swayed beneath him, their small flames flickering from side to side in rhythm.
He descended slightly down to hover among the crowd, to watch the musical performance.
Concerts did exist in heaven. But he had never seen anything like this before, at least not with instruments that sounded powerful yet peaceful, and with people looking so unified, so close…
Then the lead singer's voice pierced the air:
"Life it seems ...
...
...
...
...
...
...
... set me free…"
Adam's eyes widened as he took in every word, to every beat radiating from the guitar, as if they were emanating directly from his own soul. The words reminded him of how his life had fallen apart, how he lost his home, the Garden of Eden. He recalled how Lilith vanished from his life, and how, as Eve continued to take bites of the forbidden fruit, making him feel overwhelmed and lost on how to deal with emotions and thoughts he never wanted. The years spent existing alone in heaven had slowly torn his soul apart, leaving behind only a shell of his former self. At times, he even wished for his soul to come to an end, because everything seemed devoid of meaning.
He watched the guitarist's fingers dance across the strings while the crowd swayed with the music, and he felt as though a presence was behind him, holding him tightly, whispering that he was not alone. It was as if someone understood how lost he was, how others also yearned to break free from their own misery…
"Things aren't ...
...
...
...
...
...
...
... now he's gone…"
Adam closed his eyes. The words continued to remind him of his pain, especially of the isolation he had endured. And how, ironically, even though he was in heaven, he felt he was in hell instead as the darkness within him had been growing worse with each passing day.
Yet, the music didn't make him feel worse than he expected. The pain that had weighed heavily on his heart began to dissipate. He felt like he was no longer alone for the first time in millennia. A smile tugged at his lips as his head swayed in time with the rhythm, his fingers itching to join in the melody. He craved to join the musicians on stage, to let everything bottling up inside of him out just like they were doing.
Yes, he didn't think it was possible anymore, but finally, he could feel moved by music just like he used to during his wonderful years with Lilith…
"No one ...
... try…"
He felt moisture gathering in his eyes, but he resisted the urge to let any tears fall.
Adam continued to sway his head; a faint glow of gold began to envelop him. It started as a subtle light, soft and gentle, warmth filling his soul.
"Yesterday ...
...
Goodbye…"
Adam had a feeling that the high-ranking angels, like Sera, wouldn't be happy with him allowing the music to reach his soul as he was doing now. And honestly, at this moment, he didn't care what they wanted from him. He hadn't felt so happy, so moved by any song or music in so long, especially not after Lilith had left the Garden of Eden. Now, after all these years, he felt alive, thirsting for more, just as the main guitarist's fingers danced flawlessly, and the other instruments and drums provided a steady heartbeat to the sound.
He wanted desperately to feel what the lead guitarist was feeling as he played his notes, to experience the emotion of the music as if he were singing the words himself. Each strum of the guitar and beat of the drums reverberated through him, the lyrics somehow giving him the will to continue existing. He longed to captivate people, just as the band was doing, to express his emotions in a way that others would embrace welcomely. No longer did he want to be a soul that was in between a high-ranking angel and the lower-ranking angels. He no longer wanted to be forgotten, dismissed, or avoided. He wanted to stand at the forefront of a grand stage, to show all of heaven the greatness that he had been forced to suppress.
After all, he was Adam, the great Adam, the first human to have entered all of heaven. Among all the blessed souls in paradise, he was the one who should be the least unhappy up there.
"Adam, we shouldn't be here," Adam heard Linep squeak from behind, but Adam completely ignored him, not allowing anyone or anything to ruin the moment for him.
As the music reached its crescendo and the guitarist poured his heart and soul into the series of his last notes, growing faster and louder, Adam opened his golden eyes, now brighter than ever before, his grin filled with unwavering determination. Suddenly, a golden electric guitar materialized out of thin air before him. Without hesitation, he reached out and grabbed hold of it, a surge of energy emanating from his touch, causing the flames held by the people to grow brighter, illuminating the darkness that had clouded his soul for so long. Just as the music softened and quieted, and the crowd erupted into cheers that seemed endless, so too were the heights Adam was now willing to reach for from this moment on...
Linep was standing backstage with Adam, looking rather nervous, his wings twitching behind. Both could hear a multitude of voices on the other side of the closed curtains in front of the stage.
Adam wore a dark robe with some embedded white pattern stitched around. He was fixing his unruly hair before he summoned his golden electric guitar out of thin air.
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Linep asked, glancing at the other human souls walking on to the stage, taking their place, the curtains still concealing them from the crowd. "Sera and some of the other angels are excited to hear you sing for the first time in so long, but I'm not sure if this is what they're expecting."
Adam tapped his fingers on the guitar.
"It's just music," Adam replied calmly, trying to suppress his own rising anxiety. He had never performed in front of a large crowd before, but he reminded himself of how other bands on Earth showed their anxiety before taking the stage with confidence. He told himself he could do the same. After all, he was Adam, the first man in heaven. "I just wish I had written my own songs, but I guess there's always next time."
"I don't know, Adam…" Linep muttered. "We already got in trouble when they found out I didn't bring you back to heaven for 12 years… I don't want us to get into even worse trouble."
"You mean, I won't get in trouble," Adam said with amusement, since he had been let off the hook simply because he had never broken any rules before. And honestly, Adam was glad to have been on earth for that many years. He had learned so much and he loved to think he had grown too. Also, the high-rank angels didn't even realize he was gone till another angel had spotted him flying out from a concert with Linep late at night in Chicago. "Come on, Linep, lighten up," Adam said with a chuckle, as he began to walk past him. "Just tell them it was all my idea, which, well, it's true, isn't it?"
Linep looked uncertain.
"What are they going to do? Kick me to the curb?" Adam attempted to joke, using phrases he had picked up on Earth.
"Well… I suppose you are their favorite human…"
"See, just chill, my man, it's all going to be okay," Adam said before stepping onto the stage, ignoring the knot forming in his throat.
He faced the curtains, took a deep breath, and composed himself. Turning to the side, he gave a curt nod to a female soul, signaling her to pull the curtains back and reveal the massive crowd of souls gathered before him, all eager to hear the 'special' guest that was rumored to sing on stage.
Many of the souls immediately recognized Adam, completely caught off guard to see him be the 'special' guest. While all the high-rank angels were known to sing, they had never once heard Adam do so.
Other 'winners' had never seen him before, only heard rumors about him. Since he had gone to Earth for a while, they assumed he was somewhere else in heaven that their souls could not reach.
The stage was set up in a park within the city, a large and beautiful one with small seating arrangements perched on some trees. From there, he could see Sera sitting along with Emily. Emily looked rather curious, while Sera appeared calm.
He noticed a couple of other high-ranking angels sitting on the trees as well, which made him feel rather nervous.
He berated himself not to be weak, just as he had learned from some men back on earth when they had to pull themselves together.
As the crowd slowly fell silent out of respect for the first human to play before them, Adam calmly stated through the mic, "This is a song called 'Paranoid,' created by a band on earth named Black Sabbath."
** (Paranoid – Black Sabbath) **
Everyone looked curious as Adam's wings had shot up and he had begun to play his electric guitar first as he nodded to his own tune before the drummers and the rest of the band joined.
He stepped closer to the microphone in front of him then he began to sing:
"Finished ...
...
...
... time."
He glanced over the crowd, noting the wide-eyed expressions. Some souls looked surprised and others held shocked reactions, particularly from the angels. Even though Adam felt, for a fleeting moment, to abruptly stop, he forced himself to continue playing the guitar with determination.
"All day long ...
...
...
...
…
...
…
...
…
Whoa, yeah…"
Now, as he observed the crowd while he moved his fingers flawlessly between strings, he saw the souls gradually recovering from their initial reactions. Now, some began to nod their heads to the rhythm, with small smiles forming in their faces, their eyes alight with the intensity of the music as they absorbed the lyrics. A smile of amusement tugged at Adam's lips.
"I need ...
...
...
... blind."
As Adam launched into his solo, he witnessed a surge of enthusiasm among the 'winners', spreading through the crowd, some cheering while others began to move closer to the stage with excitement. More people joined in with nodding their heads to the beat, their smiles fueling a warmth in Adam's heart, urging him to pour even more passion into his performance.
Emily, caught up in the moment, stood from her seat with excitement, but Sera and the other high-ranking angels continued to be visibly shocked. Adam, however, paid them no mind, focusing solely on the connection he was forging with the audience through his music. Just as he desperately had hoped would happen.
He grinned at the crowd before moving close to the microphone again.
"Make ...
...
...
... so unreal."
Then, a gold magical essence began to emanate from him, a subtle energy making its way through the crowd. Though initially small, it gradually grew stronger, reaching out to touch the hearts of those present, making them feel they were heard as they, too, unbeknownst to others, were also experiencing emotions other than joy in heaven.
"And ...
...
... too late."
He withdrew from the microphone, his fingers continuing striking the strings of his guitar. The crowd were staring at him in awe, as if he was some idol, just like many living humans would with celebrities on earth. And finally, he was being seen, no longer the forgotten angel. And when he and the rest of the band came to an end, the crowd erupted into cheers, just like he had imagined in his dreams.
Author's after note
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