4.19: "New Blood" (2/26/95)

Chris still couldn't believe this was happening. He had conquered quite a few demons this past year that threatened to strip him of his life and career, but this lawsuit terrified him more than a bullet to the chest. He was drowning in what-ifs, kept replaying scenes in his head, coming up empty every time. Sexual harassment. It wasn't even in his vocabulary; beyond reprehensible. He protected people from harassment, became a police officer to right the injustices of the world.

Jillian understands in her own pragmatic way. For her, malpractice is a word tossed around daily at the hospital. She's insured, fully covered, formally and officially protected from wrongdoing. To her, it's simply a reality of her profession, and she views it with minimal emotion. She implores Chris to settle, to let George do what he needs to do to have the Department save face. She doesn't understand what this says about his character as an officer. His credibility could be ruined forever.

Rita understands in the way he needs someone to understand. If there's anyone to justify his actions, it's her. They've known each other for too long, and she'd tell him if he's ever crossed a line. However, she wasn't there during all of the perceived occurrences and can't help him play judge and jury. Instead, they sit outside of headquarters, his jacket across her lap, and she levels with him about how most women feel when it comes to boundaries and physical contact. Chris is a good guy, perhaps an overly affectionate guy, and that could come across as off-putting to someone not used to that type of attention. He was almost afraid to ask her about their relationship and if she ever felt threatened or uncomfortable, but he asks anyway, and she immediately puts him at ease. They are best friends, and she's always by his side. He left her with his stomach still in knots but grateful for her support.

What blindsided him was George's coolness about the situation and the automatic expectation that he'd settle the lawsuit, throwing around accusations, making his innocent gestures at the bar sound seedy and methodical. It made Chris irate and also a little sad. Regardless of their differences over the years, he considered George a close friend. It bothered him that George would misjudge his character this audaciously.

Chris decided he wasn't finished with him just yet. He should leave well enough alone while they were both raw and unsettled, but he felt betrayed. He knew George would be in his office at this late hour. Ever since his divorce, he practically lived at work. He rapped on the door with authority and was met with a firm salutation to enter.

George barely glanced at him, unflinching and preoccupied. "Have you decided to settle?"

Chris felt the proverbial gloves come off in his tone. "No. I came here to ask you why the hell you're gunning for me. I thought we were friends."

George continued his keyboard assault as if Chris' visit was any other meeting about a case. "This isn't about friendship, it's about saving the Department from a multimillion-dollar lawsuit. It's about burying this before it has a leg to stand on. If you can believe it, Chris, I'm trying to protect you. And Harry. Don't forget, you dragged Lipschitz into this too."

"Burying it? George, once this hits the media, I'm done, and you know it. I want to fight it. Fight for my credibility. Fight for my life." His voice broke slightly at that last part, earning George's full attention.

"Look, Chris, just from what I witnessed myself, she has a case."

Chris had already listened to this lecture and didn't want to hear it again. "I know. You told me. But she is only doing this because I wrote a bad report. She's doing this for revenge."

"There's no way for me to prove that. In this day and age, you look guilty just because you're male. It looks like she rebuffed you, so you wrote a bad report."

"That's NOT what happened! Come on, George, I'm dating Jillian. Isn't that enough to help prove that I didn't do this?!"

"You wouldn't be the first guy in a committed relationship to hit on someone else, or do even more. Don't you investigate Silk Stalkings for a living? Sex crimes are a staple of Palm Beach. They're what keep me employed." There was a beat before George added, "You know what I'm most worried about?"

"What's that?"

"That her lawyer will bring up the shooting and use it against you."

It took Chris a moment to register what he said because it sounded so ridiculous. "The shooting? Bouchard? How on earth is that relevant here?"

"I worry that they are going to take Deborah's obsession with you and spin it. Say that you led her on, that your actions caused her irrevocable emotional harm."

Stunned, Chris managed to find his voice. "You're serious?"

"As a heart attack. I see it happen all the time." He paused, allowing Chris to digest this news. "Let me ask you a question. In your own words, why did Deborah shoot you?"

Chris brooded, eyes narrowing. "I don't want to discuss this, George."

"Well, I'm forcing you. If you want to fight this, let's say I have to put you on the stand and ask you the question. Answer it."

"Because she was delusional! Psychotic. She read into things that didn't exist."

"The same as Lisa Hahn is doing now?"

His words send Chris into a rage he didn't realize was simmering underneath his desperation, slightly panicked at how quickly George was able to spin the narrative. "Son of a bitch, it's different George, and you know it! Why are you treating me like a defendant?"

"Chris. You can't be this blind. Why did Deborah shoot you? Mental illness aside, why? Or, better yet, why did Boo Maxwell shoot me?"

"What?" He looked at George, stunned by this turn in the conversation.

"Come on, Chris. Tell me."

He exploded. "You know damn well that you weren't the target, Rita w—" and it was at that moment that he froze, realizing where George was going with this line of questioning.

"Exactly, Rita was the target. And why was Rita the target? I'll answer it for you since you seem a little tongue-tied at the moment, and you haven't bothered to talk about it at all since it happened. Deborah saw what we ALL saw. What we all see. Her jealousy was stoked by the way you act with Rita, in public, every single day. She went after Rita because Rita was a threat. And now you touched Lisa Hahn in the same ways you touch Rita, and nobody is surprised by this lawsuit. The difference is that Rita welcomes it because she's in love with you, and Lisa isn't. Plain and simple."

Chris' jaw fell open at the several insinuations that spilled from George's mouth. He wanted to deck him but instead kept his fists at his side, trying to center himself. He didn't know where to start but blurted out the most pressing detail concerning George. "You blame me for getting shot."

George softened. "No, of course not. That's all on Deborah. There are times I wish I wasn't in that parking garage that night, but then Rita might be dead. It was worth it to go through that pain if it meant saving her life, you know?"

"I know," Chris murmured. He was forever indebted to George for being there and shoving her to the ground. He sighed, planting himself in a chair. He wanted to address the latter part of George's statement, but something held him back. Instead, he focused inward. "What makes you think I haven't talked about the shooting?"

"Look, Chris, I was out of line, I shouldn't have brought it up."

"Have you and Rita talked?" He read George's face and discovered his answer without him uttering a word. "What have you talked about?"

"You know I'd never betray her confidence, Chris. Ask her yourself."

Chris shook his head and found his hands interesting, picking at an imaginary hangnail.

George sighed, leaned back, and dropped his pen in irritation. "You know, she had nightmares for months. I tried to get her to see the department shrink again, but she refused. Said she just needed time." His tone was accusatory, protective; as if Chris should have instinctively known this all along as her supposed best friend.

Chris' head snapped up, and he felt like he'd been sucker-punched. Why didn't she tell him this? He eyed George carefully, swallowing hard. "Nightmares about the parking garage?"

George laughed condescendingly. When Chris didn't give in, he shook his head. "Yeah, about the parking garage. Not about her best friend and partner dying in her arms."

They both sat silently for a moment, long enough to bring the tension back to the surface. Chris was now more uncomfortable than ever; this was not the way he expected this conversation to go. He finally addressed his thoughts aloud. "Why didn't she tell me?"

George paused as if asked a rhetorical question, gesturing his hand to try to lead Chris into the answer. However, Chris didn't feel like playing games; he was frustrated and slightly pissed that Rita confided in George instead of him. And he was ashamed that he didn't pick up on any of it, too consumed with his own life and problems. Finally, George relented. "Look, she didn't want to worry you. You were going through enough. Recovering, quitting, coming back, dating Jillian- eventually, she felt like you moved on, but she couldn't get past it."

Chris sighed heavily, weighing George's words. "That makes two of us."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"What's there to talk about? You said it. You and Rita almost died, and it was my fault."

"That's not what I meant, and you know it. Chris, you almost died. Have you dealt with it?"

Chris shrugged, considering the question. "I've spent the past year trying to forget about it, you know? For a while, every time I closed my eyes, I saw that damn shrine."

"Yeah, I saw the pictures. Spooky."

Chris chuckled. "That's one way to put it." He was thankful for the moment of brevity, but the seriousness of the conversation didn't allow for much joking. "So many of those pictures had Rita in them, but they were cut or burned."

"Rita was the target all along. Deborah had been trailing her, the both of you, for months."

Chris knew this. Once he recovered, he learned all of the details of Deborah's obsession. It was uglier than he imagined, and he still recoiled thinking about how many times Rita was left vulnerable and unprotected. Guilt washed over him yet again, for probably the millionth time that year.

"Chris, I have to think of this as a lawyer. If they call up any department member, they would probably all swear under oath that they've seen you hug Rita, put your arm around her, etc. All these gestures are easily transferable to Lisa. A jury would connect those dots swiftly. And, I'll be honest here, what's going to happen when we call Rita to the stand as a character witness? What kind of hell is Lisa's lawyer going to drag her through? Do we want to put Rita through every detail of the shooting again? The reasons why she was the target? Every detail of your relationship with each other?"

"No." There it was, plain and simple. If he had to take responsibility for false claims, he would not drag Rita down with him. She had been through enough. He stood up, itching to leave, to run away from his vulnerability. "George, I'm begging you as my friend… if there's anything you can think of where I wouldn't have to settle, please…" he trailed off, near tears. Taking a breath, he fought to get out the last part. "But, if you can't find a way, I trust you. I'll settle." He reached out to shake George's hand and was relieved when he reciprocated the gesture.

As he made his way to the doorway, he turned to face George one last time. "You know, there's a difference between loving and being in love. I mean, come on- don't you love her too?"

George sighed, a measure of reverence and acceptance, and exhaled a small laugh. "Who doesn't love Rita Lance?"

Chris smiled in solidarity; he always knew that George held a special place in his heart for Rita, as most people did. She might have been his Sam, but she meant a lot to everyone that was blessed by her existence in their world. "She's not in love with me, George. We love each other, that's a given, but we aren't in love."

George nodded. "Like I said, I misspoke. I know your bond, and I didn't mean to throw that in your face. Try to have a good night, Chris. Get some rest."

"Yeah, George, I'll try." Chris gave him one last glance before exiting into the night. "See ya, George."

George watched Chris leave his office, brow furrowed, considering the implications of their conversation. It was a shitty situation. George knew damn well that Chris meant nothing by his affectionate gestures toward Lisa; he took her under his wing like a little sister. George knew Lisa had something going on under the surface that he couldn't pinpoint just yet. However, as a lawyer, he had to view this objectively and put the Department first. He battled within: friendship versus career. A shitty situation, indeed.

And then there was Rita.

He saw the look in her eyes when she broke up their melee earlier in the Captain's office, yet another dent into Rita's carefully mended suit of armor. As he watched her hurry after Chris to console and protect him, he took notice of this yin and yang he witnessed daily over the past five years. The way they took each other's heartache and pain and smothered the flames, doused their fears with nourishing waves of comfort, removed the gasoline and matches that threatened to reignite the inferno.

Rita was trying her best. However, she was dealing with the remnants of her horrible breakup with Eric coupled with the overall insanity of the past year. Sometimes it's not the life or death situations that finally take you over the edge, but the moments that sneak up on you, find ways to take what little faith you have left, and tarnish and bruise it. He could see she was tired of fighting the small battles. He could also see the shift in her soul, the way she threw herself into work, never giving herself time to make peace with the past or reconcile her changed feelings. Every time she looked at Chris, George saw it. A different flicker of her emeralds, a palpable disappointment every time he left work to spend his evenings with Jillian.

What he really wanted to say to Chris tonight was, If you're not in love with her, why did you run from her and chase after your surgeon? George may have failed in his marriage, but he was still in love with Andrea, and he recognized it within the two of them. They were both running scared, afraid to admit what Deborah discovered. He silently prayed they would find their way back from the abyss; they invented destiny.

He picked up Chris' file and scrutinized it again, looking for something, anything to grab onto that would protect both Chris and the Department, knowing twilight would seep into the dawn. Bonds like these were too strong to fray now- he owed it to his two best friends to make this right.