Too many interactions here, couldn't do them all!


Chaldea Shenanigans (1):

"Mash, what exactly did we summon?" Ritsuka Fujimaru asked, staring at the strange beeping device that had appeared in the Summoning Circle.

"I'm... not sure," Mash Kyrielight replied, cautiously picking up the blinking object.

Summoning was always a gamble. Sometimes you'd pull legendary Servants or powerful Craft Essences. Other times, you'd get Command Codes, Experience Cards, or Status Up items. Unfortunately for Ritsuka, his recent summons had been dry—no Servants for days, just items and equipment that left him feeling increasingly frustrated.

Ritsuka sighed heavily, slumping his shoulders. "Well, it's definitely not a Servant... again."

"Don't worry, Senpai," Mash said, gently rubbing his back as he hung his head in defeat. "There's always next time. We've already been through worse summoning droughts..."

Suddenly, the door to the Summoning Chamber flew open with a loud bang, and Mysterious Heroine X burst into the room. She held a phone-like device in her hand, its screen flickering with a strange signal.

"The distress signal is in here!" she announced, her gaze immediately honing in on the blinking device Mash held. Her eyes widened as she dashed over to Mash, practically vibrating with energy. "Aha! I found it! Wait..." Heroine X frowned, her excitement dimming. "Why is there a Universal Distress Call Beacon here? And where's the distress?"

"The distress is that I can't summon any Servants these past few days," Ritsuka mumbled. He pointed a finger toward the beacon in Mash's hand with a resigned expression. "And my luck is so terrible that the one thing I managed to summon is a distress beacon. It's like the universe is mocking me at this point."

Mysterious Heroine X blinked, then squinted at the blinking beacon. "A distress beacon... got summoned?" She scratched her head, visibly perplexed. "That's... new."

"It does seem like an unusual pull, but..." Mash trailed off, looking at Heroine X. "What exactly does this beacon do?"

Heroine X shrugged. "Usually, a Universal Distress Call Beacon is only activated during, well... universal emergencies. Big crises. Collapsing timelines, or planetary destruction. You know, the usual life-or-death stuff." She paused, tapping the device lightly. "But for it to end up here... that's actually a bit alarming."

"Wait, hold on." Ritsuka's eyes widened. "You're saying this isn't just a random useless item? There's an actual emergency going on somewhere?"

"Yup," Heroine X replied, inspecting the device more closely. "It's connected to some serious trouble in another part of the universe. But if it landed here, there might be more going on than we realize. It's kind of like answering a call for help across space and time... only, in this case, it somehow got thrown into your summoning instead of calling for backup."

Ritsuka groaned, running a hand through his hair. "Great, just what I needed. Not only can't I summon any Servants, but now I'm responsible for some intergalactic crisis."

Heroine X gave him a cheeky grin, leaning in. "Look on the bright side, Master. This is basically the universe telling you you're so important that your bad luck summoned a distress call from another world! That's kind of... cool? In a very, very inconvenient way."

Ritsuka sighed, clearly unconvinced by her enthusiasm. "I'd prefer a heroic spirit, thanks."

/-/

Somewhere in the far reaches of space...

A spaceship tore through the void of the cosmos, a blur of metal and light shooting through stars and planets, blazing its way across space and time at a ridiculous speed.

"Ahhhhhhh! How do I stop this thing from going full speed?!" Mysterious Hero Y—better known as Shirou—yelled as he frantically wrestled with the control panel. His hands darted across buttons, dials, and switches, all of which seemed to do nothing to slow down the acceleration.

"Warning: Velocity nearing maximum capacity. Estimated time of arrival in unknown dimension: imminent." The ship's AI system chirped politely in response.

"That's not helpful!" Shirou growled; his knuckles white as he gripped the controls. The spaceship lurched violently, making him stumble. "Why did I set this thing to go full speed ahead toward every single distress call?!"

His mind raced back to when he'd configured the ship's settings, the optimism of a Hero of Justice clouding his judgment. He'd thought it was efficient at the time, noble even. After all, wasn't it his duty to respond to cries for help, no matter where or when they came from?

"Oh yeah. I'm a Hero of Justice. That's what I do." Shirou muttered to himself with a pained expression. "But seriously, why didn't I think this through?"

The ship whizzed past entire solar systems, leaving streaks of light in its wake as it zeroed in on its target—an unknown planet in an unknown dimension. It was the kind of scenario that even a seasoned hero like Shirou could only describe as 'ridiculously reckless.' But there was no stopping now.

"Approaching destination," the AI informed him, far too calmly for his liking. "Prepare for impact."

Shirou's eyes widened. "Impact? What do you mean, impact?!"

The ship shuddered as it tore through the fabric of space, plunging toward a dimensional rift. In the blink of an eye, it rocketed past the threshold, entering a new world—one that Shirou had never seen before.

/-/

Back in the summoning chamber, Ritsuka and Mash stared at the blinking distress beacon with growing unease. The room was silent, save for the soft hum of the device in Heroine X's hand.

Then, without warning, the beacon's light intensified, flashing wildly. The air around them began to crackle with energy, and a swirling vortex of light formed in the center of the room. Ritsuka jumped back, instinctively grabbing Mash's arm, while Heroine X's eyes widened in recognition.

"Oh no..." she muttered. "That's not just a beacon—it's a summoning signal for—"

BOOM!

A deafening crash echoed through the chamber as the vortex exploded outward, and a sleek spaceship materialized right in the middle of the room. The sheer force of its arrival sent papers flying and shook the entire foundation of Chaldea. Its sleek, futuristic design gleamed under the chamber's lights, and it crackled with the remnants of the dimensional energy that had brought it there. The ship's engines whirred down, and with a loud hiss, a side hatch slid open, releasing a thick cloud of steam.

From within the ship, a figure stumbled out—half-dazed, half-panicked. He was clad in a dark jacket, a worn cap tilted back on his head, with disheveled auburn hair sticking to his forehead. His expression was equal parts panic and relief.

"Finally stopped... I thought I was gonna crash into a moon or something..." The Mysterious Servant muttered, wiping sweat from his brow as he glanced around the room. He blinked in confusion at the sight of three people staring at him. "Uh... hi?" he said awkwardly, scratching the back of his head. "I, uh... got your distress call?"

Ritsuka's jaw dropped. "Wait... this is the Servant I summoned?!" He stared at the new Servant—who was still dusting himself off—completely bewildered. "But... he arrived in a spaceship!"

Mysterious Heroine X kept her hand poised on the hilt of her weapon; her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Another Servant from the Servant Universe? And what an entrance," she muttered, her gaze locked on the new arrival. Her suspicion deepened as she recognized the familiar face of the newly arrived Servant. "Wait a second... that face. Hold it right there, newly summoned Servant! Identify yourself—are you a Saber?"

"N-no… I'm not a Saber. Wait, that voice!" The Mysterious Servant's gaze met Heroine X's, and a flicker of recognition flashed in his eyes. He hesitated, his expression shifting from confusion to a bittersweet smile. "Heroine X?"

Heroine X's eyes widened slightly, though she didn't lower her guard. "How do you know my secret identity?"

"Ah, it seems you're not from the same timeline I know. This timeline must be different." Mysterious Hero Y sighed, a hint of sadness in his expression.

"You know me? From another timeline?"

"Yeah, it's kinda complicated. A looooong story, if I can remember half of it," he dusted off his jacket, adjusted his hat, and took a step forward, extending his hand with a grin. "My code name is Hero Y, at your service. So, what's the emergency?"

Ritsuka, still processing the absurdity of the situation, shook his hand and sighed. "Honestly? I think you might be the emergency."

"Senpai!" Mash interjected in disapproval. "That's no way to speak to a Servant!"

"No offense taken," Mysterious Hero Y said with a light laugh. "I guess my dramatic entrance might have seemed a bit over the top—crash landing through time and space and all. But if there's a real emergency, I'm here to help!"

/-/

"How did I end up separated from my Master?" Mysterious Hero Y groaned, trudging through the corridors of Chaldea with a frown. His attempts to stay with Mash and Ritsuka had failed miserably, leaving him wandering aimlessly.

Turning a corner, he nearly collided with a young girl. She had tanned skin and white hair like a rose, and her sudden appearance triggered something in his scrambled mind—a familiar yet vague sense of familial connection. His endless travels through space and time had often left his memories in disarray, but he instinctively recognized her as his 'daughter' from his dimension, much like how Mysterious Heroine X has a 'son' named Mordred.

"O-onii-chan?" Chloe blinked, astonished to see a Servant who looked strikingly similar to her foster brother.

"Chloe!" Mysterious Hero Y exclaimed, pulling her into a warm embrace. "I can't believe you're here!" He lifted her off the ground, a wide smile spreading across his face. "It feels like you haven't grown a bit since I last saw you! How's my rebellious daughter been?"

"Wait, daughter?" Chloe's eyes widened for a moment before an impish smile spread across her face. "Then… I can I call you daddy?"

He tilted his head, a frown forming as he tried to piece together his fractured memories. This Chloe feels a bit off. Then again, when was the last time he saw her?

"You always call me that, right?" He stopped searching his memories when he noticed her attire—a style reminiscent of the Nameless Red Archer he despised. It was also very revealing. "Hold on. This rebellious daughter of mine," he said, his tone shifting to one of concern. "What on earth are you wearing?"

"It's my usual Servant outfit?" she said playfully as she placed a finger to her lips. "It's designed for maximum mobility and flexibility—plus, it shows off my…"

"That outfit is far too revealing! I can't believe you're wearing something like that. It's not just impractical; it's downright reckless!"

Chloe blinked in surprise at his reaction. "But it's what—"

"I sense his aura being a part of you," Mysterious Hero Y interrupted, his tone growing sterner. "You shouldn't follow in the footsteps of my alternate future self. Just because he made certain choices doesn't mean you should follow suit. And speaking of which, what's with the tanner complexion? Have you've been out in the sun without sunscreen? Don't tell me you also bleached your hair! You've changed quite a bit since I last saw you."

Chloe was momentarily stunned, trying to process the unexpected intensity of his response. The way he spoke felt almost parental, which was disorienting given her own nature and his relationship with her.

"Um, hang on," she stammered, trying to regain her composure. "I was just joking—"

"Foolish daughter of mine!" Mysterious Hero Y scolded her. "Do you think you can make up excuses and fool your own father, even though I've been away for who knows how long? And now you look up to that boring alternative future self of mine…" His frown deepened as he voiced his thoughts. "Huh... maybe this is why you turned out the way you did…"

Chloe crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. "Most kids would disagree or bite back at what you just said."

"Regardless! I will not stand for this!" He glanced around the corridor. "I have a feeling that Nameless Red Archer is somewhere in this place! I just know it!"

"Oh, you mean the tall, tanned, handsome Archer who likes to use swords often. He's in the kitchen."

"Then to the kitchen!"

/-/

Archer, known more formally as EMIYA, was immersed in his culinary world, deftly maneuvering around the Chaldea kitchen. The soft sizzle of ingredients in the pan and the aroma of a well-prepared meal filled the air. He was focused and content, a stark contrast to the nonsense that often surrounded him.

Today, he was preparing a hearty lunch for the Chaldea staff and Servants, as the cafeteria wouldn't be open for another hour.

The kitchen, typically a hive of frenetic activity during meal prep, was calm under Archer's skilled hands. He had a knack for cooking that made the task seem effortless, and he took pride in making sure everyone had a delicious meal.

As he worked, Archer hummed softly to himself, a rare moment of tranquility for someone accustomed to the constant tension of battle. He was lost in the rhythm of chopping vegetables and stirring the pot, his mind at ease. The tasks at hand were meditative, offering a brief respite from the harshness of his duties and the ongoing struggles of the Grail Wars.

The familiar whoosh of the cafeteria door swinging open drew Archer's attention away from the stove. He expected to see a staff member or perhaps another Servant in need of a meal, but what greeted him was a scene that nearly left him speechless.

In the doorway stood a figure who looked eerily like him, though distinctly younger. Dressed in a faded red cap, a matching red jacket with a scarf, black shorts, and sturdy black boots, the doppelganger exuded a youthful, almost rebellious aura. He was also carrying Chloe, for some reason.

His eyes widened as he took in the sight of his younger self, a stark contrast to the more mature and refined persona he had developed. The younger version had an almost comical flair that was both jarring and irritating to Archer.

"Is that..." Archer muttered under his breath, still processing the bizarre scene. "Just my luck…"

The younger version of Archer strode into the room, his gaze fixed on Archer with a fiery intensity.

"I found you, Nameless Red!"

He carefully set Chloe down, who looked uncharacteristically quiet, perhaps enjoying the spectacle. Straightening up, the younger Archer projected Kanshou and Bakuya, the twin swords materializing in his hands. But these were not the familiar, purely traditional blades Archer knew. These versions had an added technological flair, glowing with pulsing lines of neon-blue light, as if imbued with a fusion of advanced tech and magecraft.

Archer's scowl deepened as he observed the younger version's projections.

"That's a new byname for me," he said, his tone dry. Without hesitation, Archer traced his own Kanshou and Bakuya. "I don't know what your problem is, but if you're here for a fight, I suggest you take it outside."

The younger Archer—no, Mysterious Hero Y, as EMIYA could now piece together from the subtle cues in his weapons—tilted his head, a scowl forming on his lips. He spun Kanshou and Bakuya in his hands, their edges gleaming with an otherworldly tech-magic fusion. The sight irritated Archer even more; he had worked hard to separate himself from his past, and here was an alternate version of his younger self, practically mocking everything he had become.

At the same time, something flickered in Hero Y's eyes—recognition, but also a realization. This "Nameless Red" standing before him wasn't exactly the one he knew from his timeline, but there was almost no difference. His existence still gnawed at Hero Y, the same way Mysterious Heroine X's obsession with other Saber-class Servants fueled her hostility. Hero Y wasn't just here for answers—he was here for confrontation.

"A fight?" Hero Y smirked. "Oh, I'm not here to spar with you, old man. Not yet, anyway." His smirk faded as his eyes locked onto Archer's, the intensity returning like a laser-focused challenge. "I need to know something first—can you really call yourself a good chef?"

Archer blinked, his gaze narrowing even further. Of all the challenges he had faced, this was not the one he expected. Did this cocky younger version just question his cooking? Archer could tolerate insults about his life choices, his regrets, and even his failures. But his cooking? That was an attack on his pride, the one thing he had mastered beyond the battlefield.

"And what, exactly, are you implying?" EMIYA's voice was low, dangerous, a subtle tremor of restrained anger rippling beneath his calm exterior.

Mysterious Hero Y grinned, that same infuriating smirk plastered across his face. "I'm implying this kitchen isn't big enough for the both of us."

Archer felt a vein pulse across his forehead. His knuckles tightened around the hilt of his swords.

'This brat.' He could brush off almost any provocation, but this was personal. "Is that a challenge?" he growled, his voice now dangerously calm. "You? A failure of a Hero of Justice?"

Hero Y's grin faltered, and his eyebrow twitched. "Wanna say that to my face, cranky old man?"

"Who are you calling old?" Archer snapped back. "You deadbeat hero."

The tension between them reached a boiling point. Chloe, who had been quietly watching the two with an amused smirk, decided now was the perfect moment to add fuel to the fire. She leaned back against the counter, folding her arms as if watching a drama unfold.

"Supposedly a deadbeat father who went out to be a hero and never returned home with milk," Chloe muttered under her breath.

Hero Y visibly flinched, the remark hitting him like an arrow straight through the heart. His weapons vanished as he clutched his chest, staggering back with an over-the-top, pained expression.

"C-Chloe..." he groaned; his voice weak as if her words had physically wounded him.

Archer's eyes widened, catching onto a piece of information he hadn't been prepared for.

"Wait... father?" he asked, glaring at Hero Y with renewed suspicion. The younger version's reaction—his sudden vulnerability—was more than enough to confirm it.

Chloe shrugged nonchalantly, her playful grin widening as she added, "Yeah, apparently this guy here thought he could play Hero of Justice and father at the same time. Didn't work out so well, huh?" She shot Hero Y a glance, watching him with the same teasing intensity as before. "Not that it's much of a surprise."

Still processing this absurd revelation, EMIYA dispersed his own weapons and pointed an accusatory finger at the two of them.

"You... her... father and daughter? What kind of messed-up multiverse nonsense is this?"

Chloe snorted, ruffling Hero Y's hair with a casual pat as if he were a sulking child. "I think he's confusing me with another version of myself from his world." She shot EMIYA a knowing look, tapping her forehead. "Multiverse logic. It's confusing as hell sometimes."

Mysterious Hero Y, still crouched on the floor, let out a defeated sigh, curling up even further as if the weight of multiple timelines had finally crushed his spirit.

"I realized not long ago that you're not my little Chloe, and that fact hurts me even more," he whimpered, pulling his scarf over his face to hide his embarrassment and disappointment.

"Hey, hey! Even if I'm not your Chloe, I could still be your little girl! You know, honorary daughter or something!" Her voice, uncharacteristically gentle, sounded almost like she was offering him a consolation prize.

Watching this bizarre scene unfold, EMIYA ran a hand down his face, exhaling deeply.

"I swear, I would verbally tear him to pieces if I wasn't…"

"Archer!" A sharp voice cut through the air as Boudica, who had been silently observing from the doorway, stepped into the room. She shot him a disapproving glance and elbowed him hard in the ribs. "Show some compassion. Not everything needs your dry commentary."

"Fine," he said, albeit begrudgingly, his arms crossed as he leaned against the counter.

His gaze flickered between the bizarre reunion playing out in front of him with quiet disbelief. This whole situation was like watching a dysfunctional family sitcom—one where he was somehow the punchline. Before he could reflect further, a sudden burst of fluttering flowers filled the air, followed by a familiar voice.

"Oh my? Did this one have an older sister that pulled a Morgan in his timeline?" Merlin, the ever-mischievous Magus of Flowers, appeared as if out of thin air, his violet eyes twinkling with interest. "We might be looking at a full-on Illya Route, Servant Universe Edition."

Archer's eyebrow twitched violently. He didn't need Merlin's nonsense to understand what the mage was insinuating, and his patience—already strained by the absurdity of the situation—finally snapped. In one swift motion, he reached out and grabbed Merlin by the throat.

The playful grin never left Merlin's face, even as he dangled inches above the ground in Archer's iron grip.

"Don't leave me hanging," Merlin wheezed, his voice still carrying that annoyingly carefree tone. "So violent today, Archer. I only came to observe this delightful family gathering. No need to get so... choked up about it."

Archer's eyes narrowed dangerously, his grip tightening. "I swear if you start spouting any more of your twisted jokes about timelines and 'routes,' you're going to be looking for a new set of vocal cords."

Boudica, who had been watching from the sidelines, stepped in with a bemused expression, though she didn't make a move to stop EMIYA.

"I'm sure Merlin's just being... Merlin." She shot Merlin a warning glance, though even she couldn't suppress the smile tugging at her lips. "He probably doesn't deserve strangling this time."

"Ah, Boudica! Ever the voice of reason," Merlin croaked, his tone light despite his current predicament. "Though I'm afraid dear Archer doesn't quite share your restraint."

Hero Y, who had been recovering from his earlier emotional spiral, watched the scene in confusion.

"Is this... normal around here?" He turned to Chloe, who had been enjoying the shenanigans from the sidelines.

Chloe shrugged, her grin widening. "Oh, totally. That's just Merlin being his usual pain-in-the-ass self. You get used to it in Chaldea."

/-/

"You sure have it hard as usual," Artoria Pendragon, Saber, commented between bites of her lunch.

She sat next to EMIYA, who was hunched over, his head buried in his hands. The tray in front of her was stacked high with sandwiches, each bite disappearing almost as quickly as EMIYA's patience.

"My Luck rank must be lower than E at this point," EMIYA groaned, his voice muffled by his hands. "Of all things, to be betrayed like this and kicked out of my own kitchen..."

Artoria raised an eyebrow. "Betrayed? By whom?"

"Everyone," EMIYA replied in a defeated tone. "Boudica... the rest of the kitchen staff... they basically forced me out of the kitchen to 'cool down.' And now that brat is in there, my kitchen, taking over my tasks just to see how he compares."

He sighed deeply, casting a sidelong glance at the kitchen. Boudica and the other cooks had practically thrown him out after the brief, but heated, confrontation with the Servant Universe Shirou—Mysterious Hero Y. The challenge had ignited something in EMIYA, a stubbornness that refused to back down. In his mind, it wasn't just about cooking anymore—it was about proving that he was still the master of his craft, no matter how many alternate versions of himself showed up with their flashy tech-infused projections.

And that's why he'd gone into overdrive. Dicing vegetables with the precision of a machine, boiling water with a glare—it didn't take long before the kitchen staff had to physically push him out, insisting he take a break. Even Boudica, ever patient and kind, had looked at him with pity and exasperation as she gently nudged him toward the dining hall while the Servant Universe Shirou took over his tasks, just to see how the younger, more rebellious version measured up.

Artoria took another bite of her food, watching EMIYA out of the corner of her eye. "This alternate you—what's he like?"

EMIYA groaned again, his head sinking further into his hands. "Younger. Cockier. Dresses like a delinquent. And he's got this... techie version of Kanshou and Bakuya. They glow. Why do they glow?"

"Ah, so it's just like the Servant Universe version of me. What was her name again? Heroine X? I suppose he's hostile toward you, just like she is toward me. Then again, you and I always did share a lot in common, didn't we?"

EMIYA's hands slid from his face just far enough for him to shoot her a withering look. "He didn't just show up to be hostile," he grumbled. "The worst part? He had the nerve to challenge my cooking. My cooking, Artoria!"

"Pride," Artoria noted, her eyes glinting with amusement. "That's rich, coming from someone who insists he has none left."

"Maybe I don't," EMIYA muttered, his gaze shifting to the side. "But when it comes to my cooking? That's a different story. It's the one thing I have left. Just like how you held no pride as a king but hold pride as a knight."

Artoria's expression softened, but before she could reply, EMIYA's scowl deepened as he felt eyes on them—familiar ones. He turned sharply and glared at a table just behind them, where the Knights of the Round Table and Merlin sat, clearly eavesdropping.

"Hello~!" Merlin waved at them.

"Shut up, Merlin," he scowled at the magus, then turned to the others. "You know," EMIYA said, his voice dripping with sarcasm, "it's not very knightly of you to eavesdrop on our conversation. And you're doing a terrible job of hiding it."

Lancelot looked away with awkward guilt. Gawain, meanwhile, coughed into his hand, trying to look nonchalant but failing miserably. Bedivere, ever the gentle soul, offered a sheepish smile that did little to conceal his guilt. Only Mordred looked entirely unapologetic, grinning at EMIYA as though she'd been caught doing something amusing, rather than rude.

"Not exactly subtle, are they?" Artoria remarked dryly.

"Come on, Archer, you were practically shouting about your cooking pride," Mordred leaned back in her chair with her arms crossed. "The prideless Red Bowman, having pride. How could we not listen in?"

EMIYA rolled his eyes, but there was no real bite to it. "It's called having a private conversation, Mordred. Ever heard of it?"

"Nope. Probably because it was private."

"Our apologies, Archer. We were merely curious. And, as you know, it felt... improper to disturb you while our King is preoccupied." Lancelot glanced towards Artoria, who was still savoring her meal with regal calmness.

"And," Gawain added with an eager grin, "we couldn't help but overhear there's a new Servant—another version of you, no less."

"Ugh, if you must know, he's Senji Muramasa—though he's dressed like some delinquent version of Heroine X." EMIYA scowled as if just mentioning it gave him a headache. He waved dismissively, hoping that would end the conversation.

"Wait, seriously?" Mordred sat up straight, her interest piqued. "Hold on! Now that I look at you closer... you two really do have similar faces!"

"You didn't notice that before?" Merlin chimed in with a grin. "I thought it was obvious the moment his hair was down."

"Shut up! It's hard to picture him as anything like Muramasa most of the time!" Mordred snapped back with a touch of embarrassment.

"Not to mention the height difference," Bedivere added.

"And we still don't know who he is," Mordred said, pointing accusingly at EMIYA.

EMIYA sighed deeply. "For the last time, I'm practically a nameless spirit in the Throne of Heroes."

"Maybe so," Merlin grinned, "but let's focus on what we do know! The similarities you share with the King of Knights!" He struck a theatrical pose. "For instance, he has an older sister who resents him and would happily do unspeakable things to him."

"Illya..." Artoria winced. "I don't remember her clearly, but she was... difficult."

"Spiteful," EMIYA grunted. "And complicated. Let's just leave it at that—"

"Ah, like my mother, Morgan," Gawain said with a grimace, a sentiment echoed by Mordred's own discomfort.

"Yes, and that explains little Chloe over there." Merlin pointed at Chloe, who had teleported to EMIYA's side with an enthusiastic wave.

"Hi there, hot stuffs! Want to see my family tree?" Chloe asked, pulling out a pen and paper, ready to sketch out her 'cursed' family tree before EMIYA lightly tapped her on the head to stop her.

"Don't. Please," EMIYA said, rubbing his forehead in frustration. "Don't make things more complicated."

"I was curious about your relationship," Mordred muttered, glancing between EMIYA and Chloe. They did look like father and daughter.

"It's not like that," EMIYA growled in response.

"Please, let's not make things more uncomfortable for him," Artoria interjected with a sharp look at Merlin.

"Does this make Mordred my stepsister?" Chloe asked impishly, her grin widening. The question caused Artoria, EMIYA, and Mordred to sputter, while Merlin burst into laughter.

"Oi! Who said anything about sisters? If anything, it should be 'brother,'" Mordred said. "But 'sister' isn't all that bad."

"Sweet!" Chloe exclaimed, bounding over to Mordred. "You're already dressed similar to me, so we can easily modify your clothes to match! We even have the same hairstyle! Give me a kiss, stepbrother!"

"Whoa!" Mordred, taken aback, managed to plant a hand on Chloe's cheek to stop the enthusiastic girl from latching onto her face. "Back! Personal space, you Kiss Demon!"

Artoria and EMIYA both facepalmed in unison, while Merlin laughed heartily. The other knights exchanged uncertain and awkward glances, rubbing the backs of their heads.

Before the conversation could spiral any further, the cafeteria doors flew open with a dramatic flair. In zoomed Mysterious Heroine X, her steps almost blurring as she made her entrance, looking both ravenously hungry and worn out from battle. Her eyes instantly locked onto the counter, where Mysterious Hero Y was busy preparing dishes with the kind of intensity only a Shirou could muster. Unless, of course, you were Shirou Kotomine.

"Herrrrooo!" Mysterious Heroine X sprinted toward the counter with such speed that the nearby tables wobbled from the gust of wind she created.

At one table, Artoria and EMIYA exchanged knowing glances, watching the scene with an air of familiarity.

"This certainly brings back memories," Artoria noted with a small smile.

"Mhm," EMIYA grunted in agreement.

Hero Y, calmly juggling plates, didn't miss a beat as Heroine X came to a screeching halt before him.

"Oh, hey, Heroine X," he greeted her, sliding a plate of steaming food into Tamamo Cat's eager hands as she bounded off to a distant table. "Sorry about losing you during the tour. You know how it is—time-hopping, dimension-jumping... it does weird things to my sense of direction."

Heroine X waved away his apology, her stomach clearly taking priority over any past mishaps.

"Forget the tour!" she exclaimed, leaning over the counter with an expression that could only be described as sheer hunger. "Gimme your special! The one with extra rice. You know how I like it!"

Mysterious Hero Y paused, glanced up, and gave her a small, knowing smile—one that said he'd been through this routine with her many times before. "Still haven't learned any patience, have you?" he teased lightly. "I'm not even done with the current orders."

Heroine X pouted, her arms folding over the counter as if trying to guilt-trip him into prioritizing her. "C'mon, Hero! I've been running around all day, fighting... other Sabers. It's exhausting."

"Sounds like a personal problem," Hero Y responded dryly, though there was a flicker of amusement in his eyes as he continued chopping vegetables with precision.

"Herrrooo..." Heroine X's expression darkened into a chilling smile that promised untold consequences if her request wasn't met.

"Let me handle those orders for now," Boudica interjected, coming to the rescue. "Go ahead and serve her. And make sure she doesn't pick a fight with the other Sabers while you're at it."

"I don't start fights when I'm eating," Heroine X retorted with haughty indignation.

"She really doesn't," Hero Y confirmed, setting aside his chopping board and shifting to fulfill Heroine X's order. "Unless someone's messed with her food, of course. One special with extra rice, coming right up."

Receiving her plate, Heroine X took her first bite and her eyes widen with joy.

"The sauces are divine! As expected from someone who knew another version of me!" She ate with tears of joy, savoring every mouthful. "A perfect risotto, the steaks are cooked to perfection, and these sauces... I don't know what you did, but it's unreal. Just as good as Nameless Red Archer's!"

The praise hung in the air like a challenge, and an electric tension crackled between Hero Y and EMIYA. The two Shirous eyes met, narrowing into hostile glares as if they were wielding weapons instead of mere stares.

"Here we go again..." Artoria muttered under her breath.

"I sense a second Food War coming up," Chloe remarked with a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

"I can't ignore what was just said," EMIYA said, rising from his seat with a scowl. "There's no way that directionless, goody-goody, deadbeat of a father and hero can cook better than I can."

"I heard that, you boring, cranky old man!" Hero Y shouted back, pushing away from the counter to confront his older counterpart.

Artoria and Heroine X sprang into action, each grabbing their 'respective Shirou' with a firm grip to prevent their confrontation from spilling over and ruining their meal or the pleasant atmosphere of the dining hall.

"It's like watching a mirror, isn't it?" Merlin commented with a mischievous grin. The Knights of the Round Table, along with Chloe, all nodded in agreement, finding the parallel amusing and oddly satisfying.

Boudica sighed and shook her head. "Let's try to keep this a peaceful lunch. We're here to enjoy a meal, not start a food fight."

Despite being held back by their respective Artorias, neither EMIYA nor Hero Y seemed willing to back down, their eyes locked in a fierce stare.

"Archer..." Artoria warned, her smile taking on a chilling edge. EMIYA flinched slightly, recognizing the warning in her tone.

"Hero..." Heroine X echoed with a matching smile, causing Hero Y to flinch as well. Her eyes narrowed, making it clear she was not to be trifled with.

"Don't ruin our lunch," the two said in perfect unison, their voices carrying the same authoritative tone that left no room for argument.

"How boring," Merlin commented with a dramatic yawn, resting his palm on his cheek. "The Cuisine War is inevitable with these two in the same place. Why not just get it started already and—Geuagh!" Merlin was abruptly cut off as Artoria smacked him sharply over the head.

"Behave yourself, Merlin," Artoria said with a stern glare. "Not everything is a spectacle for your amusement."

"In all seriousness, did you really think you could stop the inevitable food wars?" Chloe interjected. "There's the Chaldea Dessert War, the First Cuisine War... not to mention the countless minor cook-offs along the way."

"Of course not," Artoria agreed with a serious nod. "I eagerly await the next one."

Everyone, except for Merlin, who winced under Artoria's crushing grip, and Chloe, who relished a bit of chaos after Chaldea's recent lull in activity, broke into strained smiles. Bedivere and the other knights exchanged uneasy glances, recalling the previous food-related conflicts they had been dragged into.

It seemed inevitable that the Second Cuisine War would soon ignite between EMIYA and Mysterious Hero Y.