AN: I receive an Amaya, you lose an Aqua. Lol. Or whatever that one meme is with Gru or something.
It really was tough to do this to my best girl...but it's gonna lead to some awesome character development for her, so it's worth it! And I finally get to delve into some Aqua backstory lol! I've been holding this shit in for like this entire series so far! Thank you canon, for giving us absolutely NOTHING on Aqua or Terra's backstories! You gave me a nice, clean slate to do whatever I want with... xD And for that, I love you.
End of AN!
Amaya returned after two hours to the correct world and place within it (a place that Master Luxu had said he had once kept Skuld, caring for her in secret, far from Xehanort's eyes).
Luxu reported that Xehanort had yet to wake; he'd been keeping a close eye on him.
Amaya took that as a sign of good fortune, and quickly set about the last stage of her task, in the run-down cabin's kitchen.
Luxu watched her, confusion plain on his face. "I'm guessing you aren't sneaking any poison into that - or some sort of truth-serum potion fit for interrogations."
Amaya simply shook her head in response, and continued her meticulous work.
She knew she had never done this in this lifetime - yet the motions came easily. Instinctively. The knowledge was there, in body as much as Heart. In recovered memories, of many days and nights of practice.
At some point, Luxu disappeared again, returning to the old bedroom, to watch over Xehanort.
Amaya was going through the finishing touches of her task, when she heard the muffled voice from across the home.
"What is this? What have you done to me?!" Xehanort's voice. Shouting. Confused. Panicked. Angry.
Amaya spun away and hurried into the bedroom.
Luxu was leaned against the wall, his arms crossed.
There was a shimmering barrier wall of magical hexagons dividing the room into two - trapping Xehanort on the other side.
Xehanort didn't seem worried about the barrier, however: he was sitting on the bed, staring down at his hand, curling and uncurling his fingers. He glowered at her on her arrival, then suddenly thrust his palm out at her with a growl-
To no effect whatsoever.
"What did you do? Answer me!" Xehanort demanded. "Why can I not call my Keyblade? Why can I no longer feel my magic - or even the powers of darkness? This shouldn't be possible!"
"Guess you're still young, aren't you," Luxu remarked casually. "You might be good and strong for a twenty year old, but the drawback of the whole time traveling into the future thing is - you kind of miss out on all the decades of future experience and skills you go on to learn and master. All the knowledge and power your current self's accumulated over all this time...you don't have any of it, because you're the one who hasn't gotten there yet. I'm genuinely curious if you considered the disadvantage you'd be at when you made the jump. There are a lot of people in these big worlds, a lot of them stronger and more talented than you are."
"Silence," Xehanort snapped. "That doesn't explain why even my Keyblade will not come to me! It resides in my Heart, and not even you could have-"
"Right, your Keyblade!" Luxu pushed off from the wall, uncrossing his arms. "Sorry, kiddo, but your mommy here ordered me to destroy the thing - take that weapon off the board, and away from you. For good."
"What?" Xehanort's face showed genuine shock. He looked at Amaya wildly. "You destroyed my-"
"We've only done what was needed to ensure that you won't be able to harm anyone - or run away before we have a chance to talk," Amaya said calmly.
"You cannot have just destroyed it," Xehanort growled out. "I still have it in my time - to destroy it would undo what is, what will be!"
"Maybe time isn't as set in stone as you think it is," Luxu responded. "Didn't Namine's interference from the future make that clear enough? Things aren't as they were - for any of us. Are they? Things have changed, and they'll keep changing."
Xehanort shook his head, then dropped it. He furrowed his brows, glowering at his palm again. "No...whatever she has done, it could not have been so great as to result in...this should not be possible." He sighed, letting his hand fall to his lap. He raised his head, and gazed at Amaya with a face that was suddenly, startlingly blank. "I am to be your prisoner, then. The Princess of Heart and her companions want to know what my future self's plans are. I won't break, no matter what methods you want to employ to try and get me to talk." He blinked, and his lips twisted into a sneer as he added, "Trying to use the face of my beloved caretaker is cruel, but pointless. It will get you nothing. Though, if you were going to use her image, you might have gotten her age right, at least..."
Amaya stepped up to the barrier, looking into his eyes of silver. "That would be because I'm not a trick - this is no ploy, Xehanort. You should be able to sense that. To feel the truth of my Heart. Even if we aren't touching. Or has your gift degraded so much...?"
"Whatever I may or may not sense is obviously false."
"I'll have to keep trying to convince you, then, child. Wait here."
"It seems I have no choice in that," Xehanort uttered.
She left the room, and returned quickly with the fruits of her labor and preparations. She strode up to the barrier, and gave a small nod to Luxu. He flicked his wrist, and the barrier fell. She moved over to the bed, and carefully set the wooden tray on the scratched up nightstand. She straightened, watching Xehanort, now, from up close.
Those silver eyes examined the tray's contents - widened for a fraction of a second. Then he looked up at her with that blank expression. "What is this supposed to be, exactly?"
"Blacktail fried fish with garlic, green peppers, and a side of orange slices - your favorite."
Xehanort's gaze fell to the tray again. Then his arm lashed out, sending it all to the floor. He glowered up at her with contempt, with hatred. "Stop this! No matter what information you pull out of my head, I will not be fooled into believing you could possibly be-!"
"Then look into my Heart," Amaya said. "Look for something that you have no knowledge of - something they couldn't possibly have learned from yours."
Xehanort remained silent - glaring. He sat back, crossing his arms. "I don't know to what it is you're hoping to achieve with this game of yours, but I refuse to entertain it."
Amaya looked into his eyes. She moved to seat herself in the old chair beside the bed, placing her hands in her lap. She leaned forward, still keeping eye contact. "I can understand if you're afraid - afraid that this might be real. I know...that you've lived a life of loneliness and pain thus far. And it was because of me. I disappeared from your life when I never should have, leaving you alone. And then you went on to find friends - Eraqus, and others, comrades and classmates - only to lose them all again, too. I'm sorry, Xehanort. I'm sorry I left you. It wasn't by choice...but I still regret it with all my Heart. I regret...the pain that I've caused you to have to live with, as the one left behind. A scared, lonely, confused child. And now...a damaged, angry young man who's afraid to feel again. To love again...and risk losing again."
"Don't speak of me like you know me," Xehanort said coldly.
"But I do know you. I know you better than anyone." Amaya smiled at him sadly, calling on all the memories she held of her past life's final years. The last decade and a half. "I held you, I protected you. I nursed you. Fed you. Bathed you. Taught you how to walk. How to read, and write, and talk. How to fish, and swim. How to handle money. How to talk to others. And I taught you about love, and family, compassion and empathy. You were curious, and kind, and thoughtful. You were good. You were special. And I loved you, Xehanort, even if you weren't mine to love. Even if I knew, the entire time, that I was protecting you, and teaching you, so that one day you could be reunited with your real mother. And yet I still cannot help but love you-"
"Be quiet, NOW!"
"I will tell you something you do not know about yourself, then," Amaya went on, calm and firm. "if you're too afraid and wary to reach out to me, and discover the proof - the truth - for yourself."
"Whatever you have to say, I won't-"
"Your mother's name was Moreth," Amaya stated. "The world you came from before she tasked me with protecting you was Scala Ad Caelum. She was a denizen of that world - as were you."
"W-what?" Shock came over his face. He leaned forward swiftly, staring at her with his mouth open. Those silver eyes of his no longer shone with hate or contempt - they were glinting and light, for the first time. "Are you saying I've been a Blue Blood all this-" He froze. His mouth closed. His eyes hardened once more. He sat back, giving a soft scoff. "Hmph. Good try. I almost fell for it."
Amaya felt the first inklings of disappointment - but she let the feeling pass. "Moreth was a strong woman - a kind woman," she continued on instead. "She sent you away from Scala Ad Caelum so that you would be safe from the Darkness...at the cost of getting to be with you as you grew up. The cost of being the one to do for you all the things that I did - the things she should have been the one to do. That is how much she loved you, Xehanort. All she had to her was the hope that she would see you again someday - that I would bring you back to her, when it was safe, and when you were strong enough."
She watched him, but he was closed-off again, now. Feigning a look of boredom and disinterest. She repressed a sigh as she stood, turning to head for the door. Luxu raised the barrier in her wake, with an idle wave of a hand.
"Where are you going?" Xehanort demanded.
"If I'm not real, why should you care where I'm going?" Amaya replied, stopping.
"Hm, well, perhaps gathering information on my captor's comings and goings might be useful to me," he responded, sarcastic.
"I'm sorry for kidnapping you like this - but it's for your own good," Amaya said. "You need someone to talk some sense into you, before you go down a path you will never be able to come back from."
Xehanort gazed at her coolly. "My path is etched; my Heart can do naught but what it is destined to."
"I don't believe that - and I refuse to let you believe it, either." She turned back to him, smiling now. "It was said that the Child of Destiny has the ability to change what is fated - and I have never stopped believing that that child is you. Perhaps the destiny you're meant to change is your own. You have yet to become the man of today, to do all of the irredeemable things he has done, to so many good and innocent people. You can still stray from that path, and find a new one for yourself. One that leads back to a life of joy, love, trust, friendship...and family. You lost all of that once before...but you can get it all back again, Xehanort."
Xehanort said nothing now. Nothing at all.
Amaya looked to the fallen tray, pausing. "I expect you to clean that up, and apologize for your petulance when I come back to check on you, child." She left the room, hearing another scoff from the boy - this one of disbelief.
Amaya had lived several lifetimes at this point; she had learned to have a great deal of patience across them.
She was certain that, with time and effort, she would succeed in affecting change within the child's Heart.
A damaged Heart like his wouldn't heal easily or quickly...but she had to believe it was possible.
I failed him before; I won't fail him again. I will give your son a second chance, as I have been given one, Moreth. And I will guide him back into the light.
But to do that, he'll need more than just me there to help him.
Aqua stepped out of the portal, turning back to watch it close behind herself.
For a long minute of time, she just stood there like that. All the anger and betrayal and hurt seemed to bleed away...giving way to a new feeling. A kind of...almost excitement. A giddiness; she had actually just done that.
She had thrown everything away, she had physically assaulted her Master, she had walked away from it all.
And now she was back here. The one place she never wanted to be again.
It was heady, euphoric, akin to the intoxicating feelings of letting her Heart fill itself up with darkness. It was vindication, it was pleasure, it was justice, it was right: it was freedom.
It should have been terrifying. It should have felt like the worst mistake of her life. It should have had her screaming and banging her fists on the ground, begging to be let back home - for her Master to come and get her. She should have been apologizing endlessly, she should have been ashamed of herself.
But it didn't - she felt none of those things.
Aqua breathed in the air, and she looked around her, taking in her surroundings.
She was on the outskirts of a small village, at base of a mountain. The mountain loomed to the left, and to the right - an endless expanse of forest, with a dirt path leading into its dark depths.
It was as ideal as the situation could be, she thought.
If she could keep her return a secret, it could hopefully be a long time before even a Scryer started looking for her...
She would have time.
But she needed a more immediate form of protection and concealment as well.
Though, that would mean risking being seen by someone...which brought the whole problem back to square one.
It had been so long, and she had been so little at the time...surely no one would even remember her. No one would be able to connect the dots, even if they saw her face (and her distinctive hair color). It was a rare color in this world, if she remembered right, but it wasn't uncommon. She should be fine...
She just had to be quick and discrete, and hope no one looked too closely at her...
Her mind made up, Aqua started to march toward the village. She climbed over a fence and strode between two small houses, making her way to the village square. A small well, surrounded by flowers and lush greenery sat there. She stopped beside it, glancing around. Which of these buildings looked more likely to be a shop?
Luckily, she still had her munny pouch on her - which was enchanted to alter itself to conform with any worlds' local currencies. Otherwise, she might have really had a problem on her hands. She might have had to consider the unthinkable: stealing (which would also just attract the attention of the unwanted).
Noticing a sign above the doorway of a building with a symbol that rang familiar in her mind, she quickly walked up to it and pushed open the door, stepping inside. She was relieved to see rows of mannequins holding various clothing items arranged within. She surveyed the shop, seeing no other customers - only a lone man at the checkout counter (who was watching her in turn).
Aqua ducked her head and strode over to examine the nearest wares. She moved down the line, glancing at the measurements for them. She stopped before a long, dark red traveler's cloak with a hood. It wasn't exactly her style - but it was exactly what she needed right now. Function over fashion. She reached out and undid the clasp of the cloak, pulling it off its stand and folding it over her arm. She hurried to the cashier and placed the item on the countertop. She bowed her head as she dug into her pocket, pulling out her pouch. She dug her fingers into it and extracted a handful of silver coins. She counted them out and set them on the counter.
"You in a hurry to get somewhere?" the man spoke.
Aqua lifted her head, and did her best to smile. "Before it gets dark, yes."
He gazed at her...then nodded and took the coins. "There's an inn across the square, you know."
"Thank you - but I'm not looking to stick around," Aqua replied diplomatically.
The less time spent giving people chances to get too close a look at her...the better.
The man shrugged, counting up her coins and sweeping them into the register. He pulled a little note, took up a pen, and scribbled onto it - then handed it to her. "It's your call, miss. But there's no way you're reaching even the closest town over before it gets dark."
"I'll be fine," Aqua maintained, simple and calm, taking the note and slipping it into a pocket (along with her munny pouch).
"Your call," he repeated.
"Thank you," she told him, taking the cloak and turning away to head for the exit.
"Sure..."
Aqua stepped outside again, into the evening light. She stopped there, immediately unfolding and putting on her newest clothing item. She tied the clasp tight and pulled the hood up, letting her arms fall back to her sides. The cloak flowed around her, reaching the ground around her feet, and concealing her entire body - arms and all - quite nicely.
She drew a breath, bowed her head, and turned to set off toward the edge of the village.
She left it behind, starting along the path that led into the deep woods.
She didn't need a Keyblade, she told herself - she had her magic, and hand to hand skills.
If she encountered any dangers...she could protect herself.
Now that she could at least move about with some manner of anonymity, her next step needed to be figuring out where exactly she was in the world.
From there...there was only one place she would be making her way toward.
And only one person she could even hope to find again, after all this time away. The only person she wanted to find again.
She wasn't proud of it. It went against all of her Keyblade wielder training. It went against the standards, values, and morals she had tried to uphold for all these years - to embody. It would have gotten her a serious side-eye from Terra and Ven. It would have made the Master-
Aqua crushed that thought ruthlessly. She shoved away at shame, telling herself she had nothing to be ashamed of. She wasn't that woman anymore - it was pointless to keep trying to be. To be something she wasn't...something she could never have been.
It was Eraqus who should be ashamed! He was a pathetic hypocrite, a liar who had no right to judge her for anything! What did his opinion matter anymore?
She wasn't a Keyblade Master anymore. She wasn't his student.
Impartiality? Justice? Order? Selfless duty? Discipline? Responsibility?
She had tried, for so long...
She was tired of trying.
So she wouldn't anymore. It was that simple. And so, quite simply...
She had to find Scarlet.
If only to know what had happened to her, after all this time.
If she had left Eraqus as originally intended, eighteen years ago now, she would have long-since known...
Ten year old Aqua crept through the castle. She walked the echoing halls, exiting the front doors. She walked down the steps, into the forecourt. The circular stone platform atop the high mountain peaks. She crossed it, heading for the spiral pathway leading down the mountain.
She stopped as she saw the figure under the lamp's light, waiting at the top of the spiral path.
Aqua curled her fingers, digging into her palm. Then she let them relax, and her weapon appeared in a burst of light.
"You're going to try to stop me from leaving?" she said coldly.
Eraqus stepped forward, further into the light. His eyes fell, his gaze finding her Keyblade. He shook his head, raising his hands to her, palms up. "No. That choice is yours to make, Aqua. If you've truly decided that your time here is over, then of course I won't stop you from leaving. You are not, and have never been, a prisoner here. I am...sorry if I've made you feel that way. After four years here, I'd hoped you might see it as something rather different, in all honesty. As something more akin to a-"
"A WHAT?" Aqua hissed.
"A home."
Aqua stood in silence, her grip on her weapon tightening. "You want me to be grateful - for everything you've given me."
"No," Eraqus refuted simply - quietly. "Never, Aqua. Never."
"Then what do you want from me? Spit it out before I go."
"I only wanted to know where you are planning to go," Eraqus replied. "What will you do? What world will you be traveling to? And how will you get there? All on your own, at your age-"
"I'll be fine," Aqua retorted. "And now I have this." She raised her weapon high, a prideful smile taking over her lips.
Eraqus frowned. "Yes...yes you do. And that is what concerns me."
"You're still scared I'll be 'evil?' I thought, after four years, I proved to you I wouldn't!"
"Of course you have-"
"Liar!" Aqua snapped. "You said you didn't blame me, but you're always holding it against me!"
"What would it take to prove to you otherwise?"
"Nothing. I don't care what you think."
"I think we both know that isn't true, Aqua. Perhaps, at first, yes - but now? No."
"You think I care? Because of a soft bed and hot food? I had those back home, too, and I still hated it. Or is it because of cute words and stupid games?"
"Because of all of those things, yes. And that is why you've decided to leave tonight - because you're afraid to care. Your own Heart scares you."
"My Heart's telling me to use this to get you out of my face," Aqua snarled, slashing her weapon down in front of her, leaving a trail of energy.
Eraqus gazed at her, blinking slowly. He hadn't even flinched.
She wanted to make him flinch.
"And it isn't only me that you've come to care for - it's Terra, as well."
Aqua laughed. "That idiot? I'm not going to give him a second thought once I'm gone. All he ever does is annoy me - badger me. About EVERYTHING."
"I've spoken to him many times about respecting your privacy."
"Right. You probably told him EVERYTHING."
"I did not, Aqua."
"You told him who I am," Aqua accused mercilessly. "You told him what I did - how you found me."
"Never," Eraqus said firmly, holding her gaze. "That secret is yours alone to decide to trust another with - or, to not."
Aqua narrowed her eyes at him, stepping forward. She raised her Keyblade, aiming it at him. "Why wouldn't you? I'm dangerous. I'm EVIL - aren't I? He should know who he's sharing a castle with."
"Because I trust and respect you - and because I know you most certainly are not evil. You are my student, Aqua. Keyblade Masters do not treat their students as mere objects, or toys, to be moved and ordered around as if they have no say in things. We don't ask you to close off your Heart; we want you to learn how to open it, to trust it. To go with your instincts and intuition."
Aqua shook her head, her long, messy blue hair flying about. The unkempt bangs licked at her face, her cheeks, her eyes. "You say that - but you wouldn't like seeing what's inside my Heart."
"If I did not like what I saw in your Heart, I would never have agreed to take you on in the first place, Aqua. But the fact is that I did see the potential in you. I saw the strength. I saw the truth."
"What TRUTH is that?" Aqua said shortly.
"That you could become a powerful mage, a masterful Keyblade Wielder, and a champion of light. A keeper of peace, and a beacon of hope."
"You sound like THEM. All they ever talked about was what they WANTED ME TO BECOME for them. And if I ever did anything different-" Aqua bit her tongue, clamping her teeth shut tight.
"How about a girl with friends, then? With a family who cares for her? With a home she enjoys being in? Where every day, she awakens with peace and happiness in her Heart, and looks forward to the next?"
"That moron's not my friend! And you're not my family! I don't have a family!" Aqua took three more steps forward. She pulled her lips into a grin. "You know that better than anyone."
Now, finally, the man flinched. He looked away from her. He sighed. "I regret the events of that day, Aqua...more than I could ever say. It was an unfortunate series of-"
"I don't. I wanted it. I liked it. I'd do it again." She paused. She did her best to LEER. "It was FUN."
"Is that what you are going to do when you leave, then?" Eraqus questioned, frowning.
"I told you: I'm never going back there again!"
"Not to that PLACE, no - but to your WORLD..."
Aqua let her weapon arm fall back to her side. "Maybe my world needs a Keyblade wielder. You did a lot of good when you came to it."
"Aqua, that was not GOOD - it was a misunderstanding, and a terrible mistake-"
"It was good for ME. Don't you think so? You saved me. You freed me."
"That, I will never regret, no," Eraqus agreed softly. "Only the manner in which it was achieved."
"Whatever. Stop stalling me already. I'm leaving."
"Then by all means." Eraqus summoned his Keyblade, turned, and conjured a swirling portal of light in the night. "But at least allow me to escort you back. I saw you here, after all. It's only fitting. Wouldn't you say?"
Aqua eyed the portal. She started forward. "Fine."
"Would you also allow me to ask you one last question - please?"
She stopped. She looked at him, glowering. "What?"
He asked his question.
She glared harder. "Are you STUPID or something? Or is this a JOKE?" she exclaimed.
Eraqus laughed, a hand to his chest. "If I am, would it trouble you to humor me for a moment more?"
Aqua felt confusion in her Heart. She looked to the portal - and uncertainty flickered. She looked down at the weapon in her hand. She relaxed her grip, letting it vanish with a flash. She set her hand on her hip, gazing up at the man. "I've BEEN humoring you for the last four years now."
Eraqus's eyes seemed to twinkle at her, as a grin stole over his face. "I know. But if you could do so for one more minute, I think I can make it worth your while."
"One minute. Talk faster than you usually do. You take forever to get to a point."
He laughed again, nodding. "I'll see what I can do..."
After a long, hard hour of tossing and turning, Kairi finally fell asleep.
But it wasn't more than a moment before her eyes were opening again, it felt like.
She blinked, and took in her surroundings.
Surrounding her was an endless void of darkness, and beneath her feet - a large platform of stained glass, glowing from within. It was a deep purple, with a glistening silver border ringing its edge. Various images adorned its surface. A picture of Sora, of Riku, and of Aqua (a sight that broke her Heart now to look at, after learning what had happened earlier that day, while she'd been in Radiant Garden), with the waves and the islands between them. And above the islands, at the top of the platform, there was Radiant Garden's castle.
At the bottom, beneath the cresting waves of deep blue, there was...
There was a collection of smaller images, clustered together tightly: the other Princesses of Heart - Alice, Cinderella, Snow White, Jasmine, Aurora and Belle.
And beneath the cloistered images of the princesses, there was a beautiful, glowing blue moon shaped like a Heart, surrounded by tendrils of purple darkness.
Kingdom Hearts...?
Trapped in the darkness, still...
Kairi remembered the Door To Darkness - remembered seeing that beautiful, golden light deep within the Realm of Darkness, shining from some place so far off she couldn't have fathomed the distance...
Of course, that Kingdom Hearts had been the one forcibly made by Xehanort's Heartless, made up of the Hearts of destroyed worlds.
But the true Kingdom Hearts, the one lost to the ages, lost to the World's destruction...
It was somewhere lost in the dark, too.
Somewhere even further out of reach. Somewhere so deep down that it couldn't even be glimpsed.
But the forged X-Blade could return it to the surface - to the Realm of Light again. Like an anchor. A connection. But once the link was severed, Kingdom Hearts would just fall back into the darkness again, wouldn't it?
But why?
Was it too damaged, too weak - like the World remade as smaller, fragmented ones - to remain in the Realm of Light on its own power anymore?
Was the darkness of the Dark Realm that all-encompassing - smothering it, dragging it down again and again?
And the Ocean Between was a space filled with darkness, too - the empty void between worlds, which were protected by barriers...
Protected by the Seven Pure Hearts. The Princesses of Heart.
They kept the vast darkness at bay, providing safety, seeing the smaller worlds endure in a bubble of light.
But hadn't Kingdom Hearts once played that role, upholding the Realm of Light all by itself? As one, great power?
What did it even mean for a Princess of Heart, that she could do that? That she had that level of power somewhere inside of her? The power to uphold entire worlds, to drive back an infinite amount of darkness? All without even being conscious of it?
Where did that power even come from? When and how had it all started?
Or had it always been...?
Were there just always people like her? Always seven...?
Was it just some part of the natural order, a fact of nature?
Something that had arisen as matter of course?
Or...
Was there something else to it?
Would Kairi ever know?
Could she ever know?
Could anyone?
It was an indescribable power that seemed eternal, passing itself down through the ages, moving from girl to girl - host to host.
How did it choose its Princesses?
Was it like magnetism, or evolution, and it just happened when people had the right traits or personalities, or was there something more conscious and aware out there? Some force, some entity or person...choosing?
Deciding?
The power could be passed down, passed on, she knew that much.
Kairi's mother- Rynn...had even given it up willingly.
It had gone to Kairi, even as a baby, as a result.
But why had it gone straight to Kairi? Why jump down to her?
Why not go to any other, grown woman, or girl out there?
Why an infant?
Kairi's little baby Heart couldn't have had any...discernible qualities to it, could it have? It wasn't like she'd had much in the way of memories or personality, so early into her existence...
Nothing that should have made this Princess power choose her as its next most viable candidate.
But here she was...
Kairi put her hands to her head, shaking it firmly.
Trying to puzzle out all the secrets of the universe was just going to drive her crazy!
But there was something - there had to be something, or else why...
Kairi lowered her arms, dropping to the stained glass surface. She drew her knees up, wrapping her arms around them. She looked out into the darkness, taking a breath. She looked down at the blue moon shining beneath her...
"Hikari?" she spoke softly. "Are you in here somewhere? Can you hear me?"
She sat there, waiting, straining her senses...
But there was nothing but the dull thrumming sound of the void.
"If you're someone who was hurt, and you found safety here in my Heart...I want you to know I'm not mad or anything. It's a little strange, but...I'm happy to help. So...you can rest, take the time you need. And if you ever wake up, if you can find the strength, you can talk to me. I'll hear you. I'll listen. I promise. And then, maybe we could work on getting you out of here? Like my friend Sora did for our other friend, Ven. And...like my friend Riku is doing for his friend, Erin. I guess that's just what we do? I had to have my turn eventually, didn't I?" she concluded, giggling.
Kairi closed her eyes and let her head fall forward, her forehead touching her knees. She smiled, listening to that thrumming noise, feeling the warm glow beneath her...
"I don't know if she was a friend, or an enemy, or a crazed stalker, or maybe a jilted lover or something, but...I met someone you might know. Her name is Hina. She's strong with the power of light, and she has blonde hair like the sun, and green eyes. Pretty eyes. Really pretty..." Kairi laughed to herself again, rubbing her forehead into her kneecaps. "Is that you talking, or me? Or am I just delusional?"
She sighed, opening her eyes again.
She stared at her own legs - the glow of the platform shining on the edges of her vision...
Then, suddenly, the idea struck her.
She stood, slowly, and reached out her hand - and called to her Keyblade.
It came to her in a flash of light and flower petals.
If this place, this platform, was her Heart...
Then she'd search for this Hikari herself.
No Namine required (not that she blamed the girl for not looking - Kairi had forgotten, too).
But how to start...? How to look...?
Kairi breathed, in, out, in and out...taking her Keyblade in both hands now, and aiming it out ahead of her...
She focused on the thudding heart in her chest, focused on that thrumming noise in the void...
Focused on the warmth...the light...
"Hikari...help me find you..." she said quietly. "Show me the way to you. Please. It would probably be nice for you to get to talk to someone after however long it's been...wouldn't it?"
She stood there, head bowed, hands grasping the hilt of her weapon tighter...
And then the stained glass beneath her feet burst with light, a hot wind kicking up around her. In the center of the platform, a large, blue keyhole appeared, shimmering with energy!
Kairi bent her knees and kicked off from the ground, drifting backwards up into the air on that wind, and aimed her keyblade straight down.
The end glowed, and a beam of light flew out...striking the Keyhole, and causing it to glow a furious gold.
It grew brighter, brighter- until she couldn't see anymore.
Kairi was lost in light, lost in a new kind of void...until it faded, and she felt solid ground under her again somehow.
She opened her eyes again, and gasped at her surroundings.
She was...on their play island...?
She lowered her Keyblade, staring around in confusion.
She inhaled the scent of the sea. She listened, watched, as the surf came in and the waves crashed.
She looked to the trees and the cliffs, the wooden walkways and the treehouse.
The little shack and the bridge to her right.
Her eyes slid over to the pond.
To the entrance to the Secret Place...
Somehow, this was the inside of her Heart.
In reality, that cave was where the Heart of the World was.
Here...maybe that was where she could find another, hidden Heart...?
If any existed here at all, that was her best bet at finding out, she felt, somehow.
So Kairi let her weapon vanish, and started off at a run for the cave entrance.
Up the wooden ramp, across the dirt.
Toward the mouth of the cave.
She entered it, moving swiftly down the rocky passageway.
Until she reached the chamber.
It looked exactly as it did in reality.
The drawings on the walls. All of it.
The wooden door...old and mysterious...
No one had ever opened it. Entered it. Even just to see what was inside.
There had never been a handle, of course, and anyone who'd even tried to push on it, or find a seam to pull on it had always found...nothing.
And, she supposed, it had always been something...cultural. A kind of respect, or maybe even a bit of a taboo?
Go figure, right?
Now that she knew the truth.
Or, she had always known...
Behind that door was the Heart of her world.
Maybe the adults had always known, too, in a way? There had always been legends and stories about "the spirit of the islands" and such, after all. Maybe that was for a reason...?
In reality, this door was locked now, to protect it from the Heartless, or any future intruders.
But here...inside her own Heart...
Kairi strode forward, reaching out to place a hand on the door's edge.
She breathed in, and then she gently...pushed.
It yielded to her, slowly beginning to creak open.
Even if this was her Heart, and not the real thing, it still felt like she was doing something wrong - like she should feel dirty for this.
"Sorry..." she murmured out, hoping her world could hear it - and not think she was stupid for it.
As the door slowly swung open, it revealed to Kairi...a chamber.
Another chamber.
A large, empty, carved out chamber.
No, not empty!
There was a golden light, an orb, a swirling mass of energy, in the middle of the chamber. It hovered in the air, casting off tendrils and spitting out sparks, like a malfunctioning wire or a faulty light bulb.
Kairi stared at it for a long minute, just...sort of in disbelief.
She took a step forward. Then another, and another...
Until she stood before it. Not three feet from it.
It was at about eye level with her.
She smiled, raising a hand slowly - in a little wave.
"Hi there..." she breathed out. "I'm Kairi. And this is...my Heart. You can stay here as long as you want. It's okay with me. Really. I can see that you're..." She trailed off, raising her hand to her chest, closing her eyes for a moment. She opened her eyes again, fluttering her lashes. "I can feel that you're not doing so well. Whatever you need, however long it takes, I'm here to help, okay? I'm here...Hikari? Is that your name? Hikari..."
She stepped forward. She reached out a hand toward the light...
"I'm here for you, Hikari. And I think a friend is, too - Hina? Do you know her? She seemed to know you..."
Her fingers made contact with the ball of energy-
It exploded with blinding light, burning waves of heat, and an onslaught of sparks.
Kairi flew back across the chamber, back out through the door and on still, until she slammed into the curved wall of the tunnel.
She fell forward onto her stomach, gasping, her back, shoulder, and the back of her head throbbing.
"I-I'm sorry..." she gasped out, struggling to raise her head amidst a world that was careening left and right like a tilting boat on harsh waves. "I s-shouldn't have- tried to do that..."
Gazing through the doorway, she saw the energy mass was swirling more intensely now, expanding and collapsing in on itself. It was casting off showers of sparks now in all directions. Every time it pulsed, the whole cave lit up like it was daylight.
"Ugh..." Kairi groaned, climbing to her feet again and rubbing her head. She took a stumbling, half-step forward. The world spun again. "Sorry. I won't- try to touch you again. Your...Heart...it's probably really- fragile- and- and if I made you feel afraid, or angry, I'm sorry!" she called out, through the door. "You know what? I'm just- I'm just going to go, okay? I'll leave you be, in peace, to rest, and-"
A golden beam of light shot out from the energy sphere, straight through the doorway. Half-way to Kairi, it suddenly curved downward, leaving a trail like a comet, and slammed into the floor. A pillar of light rose up from the point of impact - and then a series of electric bolts began bursting and flickering within the pillar.
Kairi stared in total bafflement, tilting her head at the sight. It was unlike anything she'd ever seen before - anywhere!
The electricity drew in on itself in the air, shrinking down to a single point, coalescing into a miniature ball. Then, all of a sudden, something...materialized into existence there, around the little orb. Beams of light flew off in all directions, the sparks were drawn in as if by a vortex, and suddenly there was some...entity forming in front of Kairi!
An entity made out of bright, pulsing, sputtering...light?
Pure Light energy...made into a shape? A form?
A...person?
Kairi did her best to squint, trying to make out the details, her Heart filled with pure awe and wonder.
They looked...humanoid - like an adult woman - but they were...far from human. Their- its- her body was distinctly feminine, yes, but she was also...exaggerated, elongated, and...distorted. No: broken. Her arms and legs were bent in strange places, her fingers ended in long, sharp claws of burning white energy. Her head was...long and thin, almost misshapen. Her mouth was wide open, spitting out golden sparks of energy. And her eyes...they were like pools of magma: churning, white hot magma. As soon as she had...formed, she fell forward onto the ground - on all fours. She stayed there, sputtering and twitching, every motion fast as lightning. A snap-jerk movement, like a bird's head. Except that her entire body was doing it.
Kairi summoned her Keyblade and held it up before her, her eyes wide - and locked to the...woman? "What- what is this?" she exclaimed, trying to calm her racing heart. "Are you- are you Hikari? Look, I'm sorry for trying to-"
The woman's head whipped up in an instant. She tilted it to one side, almost looking like she was going to...to break her own neck! Her gaping mouth sputtered with sparks, off and on, making a strange, almost whirring noise? It was the strangest thing Kairi had ever heard. Almost like- like whizzing fireworks, or-
Long, twitching strands of glowing amber hair erupted from her head, hanging down her body to touch the floor - and then she moved forward in an instant. She became a streak of pure light energy - like Kairi herself could do! Her movements were as erratic as the rest of her, moving in a zig-zag pattern, left, right, up, down!
Kairi swung her Keyblade for the streak of light! The strike connected; the streak of light exploded in a shower of sparks and went flying off to the side. It reformed again into the...monstrous woman of light, standing there, hunched forward, clawed limbs raised. "Okay, look, I really don't want to have to hurt you!" Kairi shouted out swiftly, desperately. "I don't want to fight you! I'll leave, okay? I'll go, I just-"
"LEAVE...?" the voice came from the woman of light - emerged from her mouth like those sparks did: sputtering and distorted. "YOU...LIGHT..."
Kairi swallowed hard, keeping her weapon in guard position. Willing her arms not to shake. "Yes...yes, I'm light. I'm a Princess of Heart. And you - you're...this is my Heart. We shouldn't be fighting each other. Please? Hikari? I know you're probably- really confused - and hurting, and lost - but it's okay. It's okay. I'm here to help you. Not hurt you. So...why don't you calm down a little, why don't we try and-"
The woman zipped forward again in an instant!
Kairi swung again-
The woman darted under her swing, and materialized directly in front of her.
Long, lanky limbs rose up, and white hot claws grasped Kairi's shoulders. That monstrous, sputtering face jerked and twisted its way closer to Kairi's - until all Kairi could see were those big, wide pools of white light and swirling energy...
"NO...DARKNESS..." the woman's sputtering voice emerged again. Like a bad video tape - a repeating, stuttering mess.
"T-that's right..." Kairi said, not even caring just how high her voice had gone in that moment. "There's no darkness here. Just light. Just us. You're safe here. You're safe...it's okay...alright?"
"FIND...DARKNESS."
"Wh-what? No, I don't think that's a good idea-"
The woman vanished completely in a flash of light and a gust of hot winds.
Kairi stood there, shaking, staring at the ground in front of her.
What in the hell was hiding away inside her Heart?
And where had it gone?
Oh no.
She had to get out of here - she had to wake up!
Riku, wake up!
You've got to wake up - please!
RIKU!
Riku sat up in his bed, gasping for breath.
He shook his head, raising a quivering hand to his face.
He groaned as it came away wet.
He fell back again, laying flat, dropping his arm.
He lay there in silence for a long time - who knew how long?
He didn't care.
"Riku-" came the familiar voice, echoing around him, and inside him.
"What?" Riku said tightly.
"You were having nightmares again."
"Really? I didn't notice..." Riku said, sarcastic.
Silence. Several, agonizing seconds of it. "You should talk to someone about it. Your friends, or your parents."
"Why? Everyone already knows what kind of guy I am - what I've done," Riku retorted. "What am I supposed to say: Hey, guys, so I've been losing a lot of sleep over the terrible things I did before?' Don't you think they're just going to say 'GOOD!'"
"I think they'll want to help you. And I think you know that, too." Erin said, calm and simple.
"I don't need it."
"You mean you don't deserve it."
"You said it, not me."
"But that's how you really feel inside."
"Wow, you're a genius. How'd you figure that out?"
"If you won't talk to anyone else, at least try talking to me."
"You seem to be doing enough of that for both of us lately. I can't get you to shut up."
"Okay, you know that one isn't true at all; I've been spending most of my days sleeping in here."
"And the time you spend awake, you spend it nagging me. If I knew having you here with me was going to be like having a second mom, stuck to me, that I can never get away from-"
"It's good practice, for later."
"Eugh...well could you practice on someone else for a change?"
"Maybe. If you start talking back to me. Come on, Riku, you know I'm a good listener. You can just talk, and I won't say a word. You also know I'm not going to judge you or anything like that."
"I already told you everything back in Twilight Town! And between that and my dreams lately, I think you have a good enough idea of the situation! There's nothing left to even talk about, so back off and SHUT UP!"
"There's still one thing left to talk about: you pointlessly punishing yourself over it all! Like it's doing you OR ME any good!" Erin's voice suddenly erupted, furious and loud in his ears. "Laying around in here, day in and day out, listening to your endless stream of WHINING! Having all these stupid feelings and emotions seeping their way into MY Heart! And these nightmares of yours aren't doing me any favors, either! Do you think I can get a good night's sleep as well, when I keep dreaming about things from a life I've never lived, but it feels like I did?! Like I don't have enough terrible memories of my own, now I have to add yours to the mix! I have to keep experiencing them like they're MINE! Do you really think this is a frolicking picnic for me in here? That I'm just lounging around in my underwear, drinking 500 sept wine?! I'm STUCK in here with EVERYTHING OF YOURS! I'm still TRAPPED in a place I can't see, touch, or feel, and I WANT OUT OF HERE! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH HARDER IT IS TO WAIT FOR FREEDOM WHEN YOU'VE TASTED A BIT OF IT AGAIN? WHEN YOU KNOW IT'S MEANT TO COME ANY DAY NOW?! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE, DAMNIT, SO WHY DON'T YOU SHUT UP FOR A CHANGE! SHUT UP, AND INSTEAD OF COMPLAINING, GO PUT ALL THAT ENERGY INTO DOING SOMETHING GOOD, SOMETHING TO ACTUALLY MAKE UP FOR IT ALL!"
Riku's room was silent again.
Except Erin's voice - her heavy breathing, like she was actually out of breath from her whole tirade.
"How long were you holding all of that in for...?" Riku said quietly, closing his eyes.
"Oh, WEEKS now."
"Sounded like it..."
More of that awful silence.
Riku sighed, sitting up again and setting a hand on his lap - bracing himself on the other. "Look, uh, Erin, I- sorry, alright? I didn't think about how...hard this has to be for you, too. How it all must be...affecting you. Hey, why don't we...work something out together? I- I could start going outside more, and...and then I could give you control over my body again? An hour a day? Two hours? Three...? You could hang out with Kairi and Xion? Do girl things or whatever?"
"Do girl things? And what things do girls DO, would you say?" Erin's voice came, light and humorous now. A thick chortle was heard from her, barely restrained.
"Well - uh - I...that's not- important!" Riku went on quickly, flushing hard. "You could try the local ice cream flavors? Head over the hills and go into the city - hit up a restaurant or a cafe? Go for a swim...? Play a- sport?"
"A swim, huh? That sounds like someone wants an excuse to get me into a bathing suit."
"Hey - blind - remember?" Riku protested.
"...Right. Sorry!"
"It's fine," Riku waved off awkwardly. "I'm sure you'd- look- good in one, though...?"
"Aw, you're sweet, Riku. If I had a body, I'd be blushing right about now."
"I wish you did..."
"What?"
"What? I just meant- I meant- you should be...able to blush? To- you know what I meant!" Riku stammered out.
Laughter filled his ears, and his Heart. Warm and light.
"Of course I knew. But it's more fun to act like I don't. I love it when you get all flustered."
"Hah. Hah. Good for you."
"If you wouldn't mind, I really would like it if I could just...stretch your legs a little, every now and again."
"Hey, I offered it. And I meant it, Erin."
"Awesome. Then we have ourselves a deal. But that means you have to start going out more, yourself, remember."
"Yeah, sure..."
"I'm serious here. You have to stop with the self pity and hate. What do you think the whole reason I'm even holding on here for is? It's so I can go back to my own world, to my people, and to start trying to make up for all the terrible things I'VE done in my life before! I'm going to make amends, I'm going to help where and when I can, and I'm going to keep fighting for my people's right to exist. Don't just wallow, Riku: DO something about it."
"I- I would- I will, I just- I don't- I don't KNOW WHAT to do!" Riku exclaimed, his voice breaking. "It's not like Maleficent is still around, or the Heartless to fight, or a Keyhole to seal! I don't know where to GO, what to even DO to- to try to- I DON'T KNOW!"
"I don't know much about it yet, myself, but I think making up for what we've done...like I said: it's more than just fighting, isn't it? It's helping people, it's apologizing. It's...showing people that you have really changed now. That you feel terrible about what you did. That you want to make it right. In your case, what about that Princess you kidnapped? And the others you helped Maleficent take? You could go and apologize to them for it all. That could be a nice start for you. And if you ever see that little boy again, Pinocchio-"
"What would I even say? Sorry I took your father away from you like that?" Riku gasped out, pained.
"Yeah! You'd mean it, wouldn't you?"
"Yes. Of course I would!"
"That's all there is to it, then. Say it because you mean it. Say it because it's all you can say. Say it because you need to - and because you owe him that, at least."
"I...Alright. If I ever...I'll...try."
"That's all either of us can do, I think."
"Right." Riku breathed in, then back out again. He ran a hand through his messy hair. "So, uh - how about tomorrow? I'll...give you the controls? What would you...want to do?"
"There's so much, honestly, I could end up wasting your whole day-" Erin began, in humorous, easy tones.
She was interrupted as suddenly, even Riku's blind world was filled with light.
He wasn't even trying to sense anything - he just..."saw it".
It was like a streaking comet in the darkness; it came flying in from the left, through the window, curving and then stopping in the middle of the room!
"What the- Kairi?" Riku exclaimed, startling and nearly falling off the bed. "What're you-"
The light burst, it flickered, energy crackling around it like lightning - and then it all...resolved itself into a- a figure. A person.
But it wasn't even close to being Kairi.
Or anything familiar to Riku at all.
Riku put his hands over his non-working eyes, against that light. He tried to breathe, to feel with his senses. It was like magical overload!
It was some kind of- it "looked" like a...a woman made of light? She had a defined shape, a form, to his senses. She wasn't just some cloud of energy, like a Heart was, or a shimmering fireball of pure magic. It was like light and magic itself were being forced into the specific, sharp shape of a person. A distorted, misshapen person - but recognizably still...a person.
The woman of light stood there in the center of the room, flickering and sputtering - casting off...sparks, embers of light in all directions. She was almost hunched over, like a lifeless puppet, her arms just hanging there. Arms that ended in long clawed hands, Riku "saw". Burning, white, concentrated light energy...
"Hey - w-what are you?" Riku called out, hating to find his voice unsteady. "Why are you here-"
The woman of light moved again - instantly. She was a streak of energy itself again - and then she wasn't.
Suddenly, she was right on top of Riku on the bed. Those lanky, malformed arms shot forward in a snap-motion, those white hot claws grasping his arms. Her face, a mask of golden energy, with two white hot pits in the center, moved forward in that same strange, instant of movement. Like a picture, jumping from one image to the next. No in-between. And then her face was right in his - inches from his!
"DARKNESS..." came a female voice, shocking Riku. The voice was like a bad playback - skipping and repeating. Accompanied by some strange, whirring noise. A shower of hot particles of light was breathed into Riku's face, like someone had launched a firework right in his face!
Riku tried to break free of her grasp, turning his head aside. "Agh- you- what're you- what is-!" He reached for his Heart's powers, pulling it to the surface - tendrils of wispy dark energy escaped his body as he gathered strength to-
"MUCH. DARKNESS!" her voice roared in his face. "DESTROY...CONSUME...RETURN!"
"Get. OFF!" Riku cried out, trying to twist his arm enough to where he could just summon his Keyblade and try to-
Suddenly, the light in front of him changed. She changed. It wasn't just a solid golden figure. It was a flood of that white hotness, filling up the rest. And then, pulsing spots and lines of intense energy emerged across her body. Long, flowing strands of tendrils, or hair grew out of her head, falling down onto the bed to pool around Riku.
That undercurrent of a whirring noise wasn't just an undercurrent anymore: it erupted into deafening volume, rising and rising!
The woman twisted her head to one side, her gaping mouth widening even further...
And then Riku felt it.
A pulling sensation in his chest.
A tearing.
His Heart burst with agony, it twisted and stretched- his back arched, his mouth opening in a scream he couldn't have ever hoped to keep quiet!
The dark energy he'd been gathering...it all began to flow into the woman's mouth. A stream of dark energy emerged from his chest, going straight to that gaping maw of hers!
But it wasn't just- the darkness he could feel he was losing - it was his Heart! It felt as if it was being- torn apart, like it was going to snap any second now, like she was trying to rip it right out of his body-
"Ahhhhhhh!" Erin's voice was suddenly there, joining his - or had it always been there? "Riku, what's going on?! I- feel like I'm being ripped apart-!"
Erin!
She was being hurt, too! Who knew what this would do to her?! She didn't deserve it - not after everything, not when they were close to giving her the world! Everything she did deserve! Freedom, happiness, a life, love-
"T-THAT'S...ENOUUUUGHHHH!" Riku exploded with power - with overwhelming darkness - calling on every ounce of emotion inside of his Heart. Not just rage, hate, not shame, not disgust, not even fear: it was fear for Erin, it was the desire to protect her, to save her. And he threw all of it into the fires of his darkness, feeding it into a wildfire!
Dark flames cast off of him in all directions, sweeping up the woman of light and sending her flying back to slam into the wall with a loud shrieking noise, inhuman and grating on Riku's ears.
Riku got to his feet, raising his hand out toward her.
Pushing. Pressing. Burning.
The waves of darkness assaulted her, again and again, buffeting her, trapping her.
She thrashed and squirmed, her distorted body flickering, fading in and out - pieces burning away - her limbs smacking against the wall-
And then, with another wave of absolute darkness, she burned away to nothing. That light was extinguished, turned to particles of light on the air. And then those disappeared, too.
Riku stood in the middle of his room, amidst burning flames of purple.
He raised a trembling hand to his chest, clasping it there. He took in a deep breath...and let it go...and again, and again...
The fires died away, and everything...
Calmed.
It's over.
But what in the world...had that even been?