An Interesting Encounter at Platform 9¾

The last few days of the summer holiday were migraine inducing to Lord Voldemort. Thalia and Nagini had indeed been keeping their side of their bargain: they were not planning on setting him up with the nearest Veela they could find and helping to annoy Ollivander by singing several Muggle songs deliberately off-key and putting one of Mr. Mupples' friends in the cell with him. The old wandmaker had no idea what to do with any of it, but the Dark Lord noted with satisfaction that Ollivander was very quickly becoming mentally fatigued. So it was not because of his enthusiastic and slightly annoying snakes that his head was pounding.

Funnily enough, it wasn't the Boy-Who-Had-Not-Sent-A-Present-In-Days' fault either, despite the ongoing game of Nightmare Tennis between him and the so-called Saviour. No, the reason why Voldemort could not wait for the Death Eater children to be sent back to Hogwarts was because of Bellatrix, Mr. Mupples and the kids – both magical and werewolf.

Death Eaters and werewolves alike used laser pointers to make their kittens and the young wolves do funny tricks or accidentally attack people. Lucius, Yaxley and Snape had fallen victim to many pranks designed by Dolohov, Fenrir and Reed that involved the three stuck-up Death Eaters getting tackled by young werewolves, much to the chagrin of all three. In Snape's case, he would chase his werewolves around with his evil remote, the device throwing insults around for a good ten minutes.

However, that was somehow the least of it. Ever since Mr. Mupples' 'papa' had sent horror and slasher movies, Bellatrix insisted on watching them; the werewolves had practically bribed Fenrir and Reed to let them go to the nearest shop to go and buy some confectionary called popcorn for 'movie night' since Mr. Mupples was so insistent on it. Rabastan had willingly come with them and Reed, returning with around twenty bags of the stuff.

The issue was, Bella did not simply want to watch those movies once. She and others watched them three times! For the second and third rewatchings, the rest of the Inner Circle joined in, and gave their input on the situations, with several of them – Jugson, Travers, Avery Junior, Yaxley and the Carrows – practically put into Bodybinds to stop them from escaping.

First it was The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Mulciber had his head in his hands. "Why did those stupid kids think investigating a place for vandalism and grave robbing on their own was a good idea?"

"Oh yes, picking up a stranger by the side of the road – that is definitely not going to backfire!" Avery Senior threw his hands up in despair for a moment, shaking his head judgementally.

Macnair was almost choking on his popcorn. "What are they – how thick are these kids?! Oh yes, let's all go and find this swimming hole that is close to a place that has been seeing some nefarious activity; nothing can go wrong. Oh bloody hell!"

Dolohov was practically throwing popcorn kernels at the TV. "You don't just enter someone's house without knocking, especially when it looks that bloody creepy – OK, he's dead now. Can't say I am too surprised."

Yaxley scrunched up his face in disgust. "Ewww, death by hammer. How unrefined!"

Rabastan blanched at this comment and started waving his hands in the direction of Leatherface on the screen. "Excuse you, Corban? Did you take a good look at that guy? He doesn't give much of a shit about being refined; he has a leather face for a face!"

Rookwood still had his eyes glued to the screen. "Run, you stupid girl, run – oh damn, he's got her … OK that is just a little excessive. A meathook, really? … Is this really necessary? Merlin."

"Jerry, do not be an idiot! Get the fuck out of there – no, no, no, no, no do not go into that house!" Blaise shouted at the TV.

Draco continued eating the popcorn. "He's going in."

Blaise shook his head. "He's an idiot."

Everyone winced as Vincent commented, "he's now a dead idiot."

"Heheehehehehe, that's right Mr. Mupples, that silly itty bitty Muggle got exactly what he deserved. Yes, indeed, Mr. Mupples, trespassing is so rude! Hehehehehehehehehehe!" Bellatrix cackled excitedly.

Amycus was sitting slightly on the edge of his seat, smirking sadistically. "Which one is going to die next, Sally or Franklin?"

"My money is on the nitwit," Avery Junior piped up.

"He's paraplegic, you arse!" Rabastan snapped.

Dolohov started cackling maniacally, popping several pieces of popcorn in his mouth. "Hey would you look at that, Lysander is correct!"

"Run you stupid girl! No, no, no, no why are you going back there?! Oh would you look at that, she gets kidnapped – of course she does … MORGANA, MY EYES! Why is that ugly bastard wearing a fucking dress?!" Mulciber wailed as several people unironically put some of the floral cushions on the sofas over their eyes.

"Hehehehehehehehehehe!" Of course Bellatrix was the only one to find the comedy in it.

Jugson lifted his face out of his pillow for a moment. "I think whoever made this stupid movie should see a Mind Healer."

"Why does that stupid girl get to survive?! This is complete hippogriff shit!" Rodolphus exploded as Sally managed to make her very luck escape.

"Of course someone had to survive or they'd be uppity Muggles making complaints," Macnair huffed indignantly.

Then it was Nightmare on Elm Street. The younger werewolves were removed after the first death in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre by Reed but the rest of the older werewolves, the Inner Circle and the sixteen-year-old wizards continued with their movie marathon, much to the chagrin of the Death Eater children's parents as well as Voldemort.

It didn't take long for the running commentary to start up again.

Avery Junior snorted derisively as Rabastan came back with more popcorn. "Yeah, yeah, just a dream – oh would you look at that. Your nightgown got slashed! Doesn't that tell you something, stupid Muggle girl?"

"That crucifix is not going to help you!" Travers, who had been educated on Muggle beliefs by some of the younger werewolves after some had talked about their families, added.

"OK, what's with those creepy skipping Muggle kids dressed in white?" Rodolphus pulled a face.

Bellatrix then began singing. # One, two, Freddy's coming for you – three, four, lock your door – five, six, grab your crucifix – seven, eight, got to stay up late – nine, ten, never sleep again …#

"Why is your Aunt always so creepy?" Theo muttered to Draco.

"Mental damage," Blaise commented bluntly, popping another popcorn into his mouth.

The comments abated for a bit until … "MERLIN DID WE NEED TO HEAR AND SEE THAT?!" chorused several of the group, hiding once more behind the floral pillows as a much more horrifying but of a different kind scene occurred.

"Hehehehehehehehehehe, yes Mr. Mupples, they are being very stupid – yes, they look like they both hated it! Hehehehehehehehehehe!"

Rabastan was the first to peer over his pillow after he was sure the scene had stopped. "That was genuinely nightmare inducing."

"What in the … That is not how walls work! Why are you going outside – oh fuck, here we go!" Dolohov cackled as the first silhouette of Freddy appeared on the screen. "Everybody is going to die!"

Alecto pulled a face. "What the Hel is wrong with that guy's arms?!"

Macnair soon began dying of laughter as the chase scene occurred. "Heheehehehehe hahahahahahaha hohohohoohoh. Merlin and Morgana, is he trying to run?! He looks like a jelly! Hehehehehehehe!"

Yaxley's lips curled into a sneer. "… Why in the name of everything holy would you cut off your own damn fingers, you stupid mutt? Just kill her and be done with it already!"

Mulciber started to blink at the screen. "…OK, this is a little bit overkill."

"Heheehehehehe, yes Mr. Mupples, she's dancing on the ceiling. Heheehehehehe!" Bellatrix and Mr. Mupples were having the time of their lives.

"Of course the police doesn't believe you, Nancy!" Rabastan shouted at the screen. "They're too damn stupid."

Rodolphus snorted. "Oh would you look at that, Mr. I Think I Am Cool In Leather does something idiotic while he is being hunted for murder. Surprise, surprise. Oh would you look at that, there's the police."

"This guy has gel seeping into his brain," Avery Senior agreed. He then pouted. "Awww, I ran out of popcorn already – wait a minute, Lysander! You popcorn pincher!"

"Now, call me old fashioned, but if someone ask you who you are, you're supposed to give a name and not slash yourself, Mr. Burned Face!" Amycus shouted at the undead serial killer on the screen.

Dolohov blinked multiple times when the serial killer spoke his own name for the first time. "Freddy? Really? Is that supposed to scare someone, you clown? What is with the weird tongue movements? Hey, you don't think Barty was related to this guy do you?"

Several of the Death Eaters and werewolves snorted at that.

The movie went along for a bit until Nancy decided to take a bath.

"Why do I get the feeling something bad is going to happen – MERCIFUL MERLIN!" Pansy shrieked as she once more hid behind her cushion as the freaky gloved hand emerged from the water.

Macnair scrunched up his face. "OK, so Nancy isn't all too stupid and Freddy is a pervert. Noted."

Then the next death occurred.

"Hehehehehehehehehehe! Yes, Mr. Mupples, the idiot boy is next! Indeed Mr. Mupples, it does look like suicide – Hehehehehehehe!"

Travers actually snorted for the first time. "Death by blanket – that has got to be embarrassing."

Mulciber was slowly losing his patience with the movie's characters. "A sleep specialist, oh yes that will definitely help this situation – she just got clawed and has a weird hat that she pulled out of nowhere! Doesn't that tell you something? URGH! Where is that weird Leatherface freak when you need him?"

"Erm, wrong movie, Balthazar," Rodolphus sighed.

Mulciber huffed. "Don't care."

Rabastan, Dolohov, Macnair and the children lit up next. "Oooo boobytraps! Now that could work!"

"Indeed, Mr. Mupples, this filthy Muggle girl does not deserve to die yet. She is not brain dead," Bellatrix agreed.

Jugson was frowned a little as they continued to watch. "So, Freddy is a child murderer whose name no one says and got burned to death by the parents because he escaped justice? … Why does that sound a little familiar?"

Avery Junior nodded. "And don't say his name out loud – yep that sounds familiar."

It was at this precise moment Voldemort stuck his head into the parlour, his lips into a sneer before going on his way again.

The children were soon chanting at the screen, at Nancy and the other kids. "Do not fall asleep, do not fall asleep, DO NOT FALL ASLEEP!"

But of course, the characters didn't listen.

"EWWWWWWW!" the Death Eater children wailed.

Rookwood actually did a facepalm. "… A blood fountain from the middle of the bed … I just can't with these Muggles …"

"There is no way there is that much blood in the human body for that to be accurate!" Rodolphus added.

"Hehehehehehehehehehe!"

"Seriously, Bella?!" her friends and colleagues chorused.

Everyone was soon losing their minds again. "WHY ARE YOU CALLING OUT TO HIM?!"

"There goes the only half-decent character," Gregory commented with a sigh. "Oh wait she's alive."

"Wait … I bet there is something going to happen … Oh would you look at that, she's not crazy! Her plan worked!" Millicent laughed.

Theo grimaced at the screen. "I don't think boobytrapping was such a good idea after all."

Dolohov began cackling. "Oh look he's got your mother, dumb girl! And you're burning your house down!"

Mulciber was very soon losing his will to live again. "OH THAT IS JUST THESTRAL SHIT! 'I take the energy back and you dissolve into nothing' – oh wait a minute … OK that is genuinely disturbing…"

Voldemort could replay all the running commentary in his head; this was the cause of his migraine. Nagini and Thalia took great pleasure in laughing at the indignation of the Death Eaters at the slasher and horror movies.

The Dark Lord was more than happy to allow a few of his disguised Inner Circle out of the house. Snape was very happy to escape to Hogwarts a day early; everyone sighed with relief because that meant that blasted remote would be gone too. The party to see Draco, Pansy, Blaise, Theo, Daphne, Millicent, Gregory and Vincent off were Narcissa, the parents of the other children, Rodolphus, Rabastan, Dolohov, Macnair, Mulciber, Rookwood and – to everyone's surprise – Bellatrix with Mr. Mupples, who had been put into a rather cute but snappy suit.

Rabastan, who was wearing the same Glamour as he had done to Gringotts, blinked at the plushie. "Bella, why is Mr. Mupples in a suit?"

"Mr. Mupples cannot go out dressed shabbily, no indeed," Bellatrix, who was disguised in an almost comically glamourous Glamour, giggled. "He needs to look proper to see his papa off!"

Dolohov, who was also reusing his Glamour from Gringotts, and Macnair, who looked like he could be Dolohov's brother, spluttered with laughter. Mulciber bit into his cheek quite hard, Rookwood and the parents rolled their eyes, Narcissa pinched the bridge of her nose and steam was coming out of Rodolphus' ears.

Rabastan and the children knew it was best not to react and keep any and all opinions to themselves.

"Of course she has to bring that damn fucking plushie!" Rodolphus complained in a lowered tone to make sure his wife could not hear him. "The only time she is able to leave it is when she's off on a damn raid. And why does his suit look like it has been tailor made?"

"Likely because it was," Rookwood commented.

"Stupid plushie," Rodolphus grumbled.

"Come on, Dolph, it is just a mini suit, it is not big deal," Mulciber tried not to start laughing his friend's face.

"She never ordered me a tailor made suit!" Rodolphus sulked.

"Oh Uncle," Draco huffed as his friends laughed and some of the Death Eaters facepalmed.

The party of people travelled to King's Cross Station with the use of Apparation. That day was a rather sunny one and a naturally busy one at the train station itself. There were last calls being made for trains, people rushing like maniacs to try and catch their trains and of course the tell-tale luggage trolleys filled by trunks and familiar cages of Hogwarts students with the Muggles somehow not paying attention to them at all. The disguised Death Eaters sneered at as many Muggles as they could but behaved themselves impeccably. Bellatrix all but ignored them.

The snide comments and jibes at Muggles, and then Muggleborns, continued as the group made their way to the gateway between platforms 9 and 10 and the kids ran in with the adults close behind them, again with Muggles barely registering a thing around them. Platform 9¾ was filled by chatting families with children returning to Hogwarts and children starting their first year. Draco and Narcissa noticed that they were getting some very dirty looks from some other parents but they tried to not pay too much mind to it.

"Remember, watch your backs," Lord Greengrass stated.

"And do not get into too much mischief!" Lord Nott added, which made the kids roll their eyes.

"It is not us you should be worried about, sir," Gregory pointed out with a slight grin.

"No, you have to worry about the mischief Potter will get up to," Pansy was already pale at the thought.

"Well it should help that you are not in the same House," Rabastan pointed out brightly.

Bellatrix and Mr. Mupples were busy giving Draco a rib-breaking hug. "Be good, Draco, fix that Cabinet and please try and make Severus cry a little bit for your Auntie Bella's sake! Yes, Mr. Mupples, he also needs to get good grades – very important."

Draco flushed a little and the other disguised Death Eaters were trying not to laugh or do a facepalm. However, before Draco could reply, suddenly the plushie 'fell' out of Bellatrix's arms and started to – much to the horror, surprise, awe and amusement of the group – bounce and roll along the platform, dodging the legs and trolleys of people.

Bellatrix was soon in hot pursuit of the run-away plushie monster. "Mr. Mupples, stop running on the platform, it is not safe! Mr. Mupples, where are you going? Mr. Mupples you could fall onto the track if you are not careful."

Mr. Mupples was not listening. He continued travelling down Platform 9¾, dodging confused and surprised families and people until he found the person he was trying to track down.

Harry was surprised he had not died of boredom under the watchful eye of the Order. The only consolation was that Tonks, Remus and Kingsley had not been too hard on him and had stopped Moody trying to get someone to escort Harry to the toilet, just in case he would plot something there. He really could not wait to get to the castle and continue plotting!

"Now remember, do not just buy sweets from the confectionaries trolley – Ron, you have dirt on your nose again! Ginny, have you got your extra sweaters – good! Hermione, please keep an eye on Harry for all our sakes-" Molly Weasley was going through her usual list.

Harry and Hedwig exchanged a knowing look at hearing that.

There was a better chance of Voldemort performing in an opera than Hermione stopping Harry's schemes.

Ginny and Ron chuckled to themselves. "This is going to be interesting," Ron stated, looking more excited for a school term than he had ever done before.

"I'll say!" Ginny laughed.

"Harry!"

The Boy-Who-Could-Not-Wait-To-Start-Pranking-Again lit up. "Dean! Justin! Colin and Dennis! How are you?"

The four other members of his Council of Pranks had joined with shining eyes, looking just as keen to get started again.

"We're good! Glad to see you survived your imprisonment," Colin joked, which earned him a few glares from Moody and Molly. Hermione huffed at this.

"Just barely," Harry grinned.

"Shall we find a compartment together before all the good ones get taken?" Dean suggested.

"Sure-"

"Hoot!"

Harry frowned. "Hedwig, what is it?"

"Hoot! Hoot, hoot, hoot!"

"What do you mean, there is someone in front of the trunk?"

Harry, Ron, Ginny, Hermione, Dean, Justin and the Creevey brothers turned around and there, right in front of Harry's trolley trunk, practically staring down Hedwig, was an ugly, plushie monster with very colourful skin and wearing … a suit. In an instant, the Council of Pranks lit up. This strange plushie did not need an introduction.

"MR. MUPPLES!" they chorused happily and excitedly.

It was safe to say that there were many passers-by who stopped and stared at them as though they had lost their minds.

Harry ignored them and picked up the plushie very carefully, with a grin but a slight confused expression on his brow. "What are you doing here, Mr. Mupples? … Huh? You … came to see me off, really?"

The Boy-Who-Had-No-Idea-What-He-Had-Just-Gotten-Himself-Into had not the foggiest idea how he was able to understand the plushie just by a few shakes and bobs that it was somehow making on its own.

Ginny cooed. "Awwww, that's so sweet!"

"Very cute!" Tonks agreed, also cooing.

"Hoot, hoot!" Hedwig added.

Harry grinned and quickly turned his attention back onto the plushie as it started to shake again. "Huh … Oh! This is Hedwig; she is my familiar and she's also the first friend I ever had. Hedwig, this is Mr. Mupples."

"Hoot!" Hedwig greeted, lifting a wing in greeting.

Hermione then blanched. "Oh no!" she realised something. "If Mr. Mupples is here, then that means that-"

"Where are youuuuuuu? Mr. Muuuuuupples!"

Harry started cackling to himself as Mr. Mupples started bobbing up and down in excitement. Seconds later, a rather gorgeous woman with brown curls and rather crazed blue eyes skidded to a halt in front of the group, lighting up when she saw Mr. Mupples safely tucked in Harry's arms. Hermione looked set to faint but Ginny, Ron, Dean, Justin and the Creevey brothers looked like all their Christmases had come early.

"Mr. Mupples! There you are – oh, you found your papa! Well done!"

The group really hoped Bellatrix Lestrange had not looked in a mirror because this was incredibly disconcerting! Tonks could not keep her laughter contained, having to hold onto Remus and Kingsley as she split her sides laughing at her deranged aunt's appearance. Remus and Kingsley too were biting desperately into their cheeks so as not to laugh in the Death Eater's face. Moody looked set to curse her but he was actually being restrained by Arthur Weasley and a stern pointed look.

"Apparently Mr. Mupples came to see me off," Harry commented to the person who had taken his godfather from him as lightly as he could manage.

"Yes, indeed, itty bitty Potter, he was insistent on it! He ran off though without permission – Mr. Mupples, yes you do! … He did not know you were here, you cannot blame him for that! No it does not excuse you running off!"

Harry gave the plushie a pointed look. "Mr. Mupples, you shouldn't run on a platform. You might fall on the tracks."

Bellatrix turned with her arms folded to the plushie. "See?! Even your papa says so!"

"Merlin and Morgana!" Tonks exclaimed. "I have a plushie for a cousin!"

Hedwig was laughing. "Hoot! Hoot, hoot!"

Harry shot her a stern look. "Hedwig, shush. That is a little rude."

Ginny, Ron, Dean, Justin and the Creevey brothers were heaving for air because they were laughing so hard; more than half the party of the Death Eaters were also dying from self-induced asphyxiation. The only ones who were not, were Narcissa, the other parents, Hermione, Molly and Rodolphus, who had steam coming out of his ears.

Bellatrix continued. "Mr. Mupples has been doing well but he has gotten a little bit put out that he is not allowed to go on raids and then has to stay with Rookwood. No, Mr. Mupples – you are still too young! Yes you are – because our Lord says so. … Mr. Mupples, do not make me wash your mouth out with soap."

"To be fair, children will always be stroppy," Harry pointed out calmly as he looked the strange plushie in the eyes. "If Voldie says you are not ready, it is likely for your own safety. Yes I know it is annoying – no, you do what Bella says. She is trying to protect you – that is uncalled for, Mr. Mupples!"

For one reason or the other, Bellatrix looked set to cry!

Harry gave Mr. Mupples an unamused look. "Apologise, now!"

"He's gone round the bend," Moody commented, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Mr. Mupples bobbed a few times. Bellatrix lit up again; clearly the apology that the plushie made was good enough.

"Are you here alone?" Harry asked.

"No, itty bitty Potter, we came in a group to see Drakey-poo off!"

"Drakey-poo?!" the kids repeated happily.

Bellatrix gestured to the group behind her. When Harry and his Council of Pranks looked in their direction, the disguised Death Eaters immediately pulled themselves together; Rabastan was still sitting on the trunk of a bemused first year, still recovering. The disguised Dolohov, Macnair, Rabastan and Mulciber waved at them cheerily, Rookwood gave them a nod in greeting, Rodolphus and the other adults glared at them and Draco and his friends looked like they were hoping the platform would swallow them whole as they were loading their belongings into the train.

"Bianca, let the children get on the train! It's ten minutes before they need to leave!" Narcissa Malfoy called.

Harry carefully handed Mr. Mupples back to Voldemort's lieutenant; Mr. Mupples began bobbing again.

"Yes, Mr. Mupples – Papa does need to go now. Yes, or he will be left behind … I am sure he will write?"

Harry had never imagined what a hopeful Bellatrix would look like; it creeped him out a little at how adorable she actually looked. It was bad.

"I don't mind writing," Harry reassured.

Bellatrix lit up. "And if Mr. Mupples misbehaves?"

"You can always complain and ask for advice," Harry grinned as Hermione immediately began loading all of their trunks into the train with a Levitation Charm; he took Hedwig's cage and moved to follow his friends onto the train. "Bye, Mr. Mupples!"

Mr. Mupples waved his left fluffy paw excitedly.

"Bye, Mr. Mupples!" the Creevey brothers chorused as they too followed.

Mr. Mupples rudely snubbed them, which made them pout a little but they shrugged and quickly escaped into the train.

"Oh, itty bitty Potter, I should tell you that some of my friends want to send you presents!" Bellatrix cackled maniacally.

Harry appeared at the window of a compartment nearby. "Tell them I look forward to receiving them!"

"NO YOU ARE NOT!" Hermione exploded from inside the compartment.

"Yes, I am. You don't tell me how to feel," Harry petulantly stuck out his tongue.

It was safe to say that there was an odd sight to behold on Platform 9¾ that day: disguised Death Eaters and Order members happily waved the train off, both of them eager to see what this absolutely absurd school term was going to bring.

Rodolphus was still not happy by the time they got back to Malfoy Manor, the parents looking emotionally exhausted already. "Great. As if things could not get worse. First we have to put up with Mr. Mupples and now my wife is co-parenting the damn thing with Harry bloody Potter!"

"Jealousy makes you ugly," Dolohov commented, grinning.

"You had a double dosage of the stuff then," Macnair quipped immediately, looking very excited as he headed towards his chambers. "I am going to prepare my little gifts already! Call me if there's dinner!"

"Oh dear," Mulciber stated as he watched Macnair practically holler down the corridor. "I don't think Potter knows what is about to hit him."

############################################################

"I knew your summer would be good, despite the circumstances," Luna stated whimsically. "I say job well done, Harry. Job well done, indeed!"

"Of course you would be the one to encourage him," Hermione glowered at the strange girl.

Neville was still very pale in the face, looking set to faint face first into the new plant his grandmother had bought him. Harry and his friends had just finished apprising the two of them about what Harry had done – and that he was the reason for Lord Voldemort and Bellatrix to shriek so much that every magical blooded person in the country could hear them – and it was safe to say that Neville needed some time to recover.

"I cannot believe it …" he managed to find his voice. "You pranked … them all … you survived … Bellatrix Lestrange has a plushie … you talked to the plushie …" Neville shook his head and looked at Harry with a deal of concern. "Well, I suppose nothing about you is normal and we all know you're a nightmare when you're bored."

Harry preened at this.

"Would you like some more help?" Luna asked with an uncharacteristic mischievous glint in her eyes. "I know the Nargles and Wackspurts have some rather good ideas when they are in a mischievous mood."

"Oh no," Hermione deflated.

Dean blinked at Luna, but didn't say anything. Ginny smiled at her friend fondly. Justin just laughed.

Harry lit up. "The more, the merrier! But I have a rule – Muggle stuff only. If it has a funny hex or curse on it, it might be a one-off. But it has to be something Muggle related because otherwise we are making the Death Munchers too happy and we can't have that."

"Death Munchers," Neville repeated weakly. He gulped and gathered his courage. "I suppose I would love to get my own back on the Lestranges for what they did to my parents … Harry, may I join too?"

"Of course!" Harry beamed.

"This is going to be epic!" Ron declared excitedly.

"We are going to also have to outwit the teachers, though," Ginny pointed out. "Because I am pretty sure Mum tried to write to Professor McGonagall about what Harry has been doing."

An evil glint once more entered those green orbs. "Bring it on," was all the Boy-Who-Was-Rather-Looking-Forward-To-A-Battle-Of-Wills-With-His-Teachers responded.

Harry actually could not wait to call Dudley later; his cousin was still surprised every day that he didn't turn up dead and it just didn't get old to hear the glee and disbelief over and over again.

##################################################################

It was safe to say that no one in the compartments dominated by members of Slytherin House had anticipated to see Draco Malfoy and his gang of friends look as jumpy as they did; all of them kept their eyes firmly on the entrances to the compartments as if they were waiting for something untoward to happen at every given second. It had been rather amusing but also rather concerning to see Draco, Blaise, Theo, Gregory, Vincent, Pansy, Daphne and Millicent practically jump five feet into the air when the poor trolley lady came by with confectionaries.

Naturally, those who had family in the Death Eaters who had been at Malfoy Manor did know and could not help but smirk to themselves. It seemed that Potter and his pranks really did a number on these uppity heirs and heiresses. However, the majority were from families who were either Neutral or Grey, and thus were not up-to-date on the Siege of Malfoy Manor and thus kept pestering the group to tell them what had happened.

Draco and co. held out for as long as they could manage; Gregory and Vincent did threaten to beat a few people up if they didn't stop asking inane questions, which helped to buy them some more time, but not for long. Well, it did buy them silence for the whole of the train journey. Silence, save for Vincent, who was unhappy he got yet another Circe Chocolate Frog card from his frog box.

When they got to Hogwarts, they got a carriage just for their group, which also helped to escape any awkward questions; they were rather happy that they all had to go through a search, surprisingly. Unfortunately, it was back to trying to ignore Perks and the rest of the House's covert pestering during the Start of Term feast; at least they had kept their silence during the Sorting Ceremony.

That would have been too awkward.

The Start of Term feast started with a rather bleak speech from the old codger that Draco largely tuned out due to him focusing on trying to focus on his job of finishing the Vanishing Cabinet that was somewhere in the Room of Hidden Things to ensure his aunt and the other Death Eaters could bypass the wards.

Their greatest weapon is you … bladdy bladdy blah! he sneered to himself.

"So, what happened?"

"Why are you guys acting to strangely?"

"Is Draco still not over his crush on Potter?"

"You guys are keeping secrets! Let us in on it!"

"Blaise, stop smirking and start spilling!"

Yep, as soon as the food arrived and the cacophony of chatter rose in the Hall the badgering started up again.

Eventually, the group gave in. As soon as the Snakes were safely back in the Snake Pit after the feast, Draco, Blaise, Theo, Gregory, Vincent, Pansy, Daphne and Millicent began telling the sordid saga of how Harry Potter had waged a mental war against the Dark the entire summer by sending sporadically and then eventually almost every single day, pranks to targets that were predictable and not predictable.

It was safe to say that once Draco and his friends were finished, one could have heard a feather drop.

"How the fuck is he not dead yet?" someone voiced the sentiment that was going through the heads of every member of Slytherin's head, new and old.

"You have to admit he does live up to the Lion, because only a Lion could be that idiotically brave!" commented another.

"I would have liked the rubber duckies," said another.

"I like the sound of pizza," added a fifth-year.

"Those Pet Monsters and Boglins sound creepy," stated a third-year.

"No, I think that is just Mr. Mupples," responded a fourth-year.

"You get the Boglins as punishment," Blaise informed with a grin.

"Blaise, you have around eight," Pansy commented, which caused many to laugh.

"CHILDREN SHOULD BE SEEN AND NOT HEARD!"

Severus Snape had arrived, cloak billowing in a non-existent wind, and regarding his new Snakes and his old students with a smirk. Most of the new Snakes gulped while the older students blanched at the fact that their Head of House was using that cursed Muggle object in front of them.

Apparently Draco and his friends had not been lying after all.

"Welcome to Hogwarts. I am Professor Severus Snape, your Potions teacher and your Head of House. Here in Slytherin, we watch each other's backs – we have to, considering the suspicion we are viewed under. Any disagreements are to be solved in private to ensure we keep a united front," Severus Snape sighed. "I should also note that all of you should keep an extra eye peeled for each other's backs because we currently have a student who has a propensity for causing mayhem and chaos when he is lethally bored and that has unfortunately not abated. Just stay out of Little Boy Wonder's way and you should be fine. Now, off to bed – all of you!"

The older students did not look too happy about being dismissed to their dorm rooms but they didn't fancy getting insulted by a remote again so they kept their silence. As for Severus Snape, he watched them all retreated with a grin.

The remote really did come in handy in managing difficult children! Potter managed to do something right, after all.

Unfortunately, Blaise and Millicent had no intention of going to bed. For the both of them had managed to sneak their spray cans into the school and the two of them had always wanted to see just how much they could make the Hufflepuffs cry without having to raise a wand to the Badgers.

Once they knew most people would be in bed, the two graffiti artists got to work, making sure to keep their beady eyes and ears peeled for Filch, Mrs. Norris and Peeves the poltergeist.

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Part two of the saga has begun! The Death Eaters and Harry are now on equal footing – the War of Pranks is about to begin! Who is going to get a satisfactory reaction first? Stay tuned to find out!

I would like to thank the diabolical mind of the reviewer BLKDroid who was on such a wavelength with what I wanted to do that when they gave this idea I was sold immediately. I want to thank everyone who continues to give amazing ideas – they will be used very soon, I promise.

I can't wait to see how this goes; I will see you next time!

Kingmaker'sUmbreon