Mr. Mupples Takes On Mundungus Fletcher and Dudley Sends The Death Munchers A Surprise of His Own
*Can you hear the drums, Fernando? I remember long ago, another starry night like this. In the firelight, Fernando, you were humming to yourself and softly strumming your guitar, I could hear the distant drums and sounds of bugle calls were coming from afar.*
The sound of Melpomene singing ABBA's Fernando that she had heard on the radio the previous evening was one of the only things keeping the Boy-Who-Was-Trying-Not-To-Book-A-One-Way-Ticket-To-Azkaban for not murdering Cormac McLaggen and several people continuing to mock the performances of Ron and other players the day before. Ginny too had looked ready to draw her wand but she forwent violence as well in order to hum along to Melpomene's song and concentrate on finishing off an essay. Of course, the Cobra Lily was seemingly oblivious to the negative energy around her; she was simply happy that she was allowed to come to class again.
Indeed, it must have been the violent inclination in Lord Black and the serene singing of his Cobra Lily that had lured Voldemort to open the Link and begin spying on his nemesis again once again, only this time rather subtly. However, predictably, the Dark Lord could not keep his silence for long.
Hmmm, the plant does have a nice aria. Melpomene could give Thalia some lessons.
Harry allowed himself a brief smile at the comment. Morning, Voldie.
Good morning, Harry, came the surprisingly civil answer.
*They were closer now, Fernando. Every hour, every minute seemed to last eternally. I was so afraid, Fernando, we were young and full of life and none of us prepared to die-*
"Potter, shut your stupid plant up!"
Oh yes, Cormac was really asking for a nice AK to the face. Harry's jaw clenched in seconds.
Been practising your Cruciatus lately, Harry? Voldemort asked silkily, catching onto the homicidal thoughts immediately.
Do not tempt me, Harry growled.
I take it that I will not be giving Bella an update on your progress then? Pity. Because this one could be actually potent, Voldemort was clearly enjoying himself.
Fortunately, Team Prank already sensed the danger and intervened before their leader could Imperio McLaggen into slamming his face into the porridge bowl in front of him.
"If it bothers you this much, why just don't you shove some wax into your ears?" Seamus shot back easily. "Or, better yet, just leave. I am pretty sure the Snakes would welcome you with open coils."
Slytherins do not have low standards, boy, Voldemort sniffed indignantly.
You sure about that? The Snakes have Draco Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle in their ranks! Harry reminded him.
Shush.
No.
"At least put some effort into teaching the stupid thing English," one of McLaggen's friends sneered. "No one wants to hear that creepy language at the Lion table."
CREEPY?! Voldemort seethed. That snivelling little braggard!
"Well no one wants to see your face here, Dempsey, yet here you are," Dean countered without even looking away from peeling his orange.
Harry, hex him!
I am not hexing Dean, Grandpa!
No, idiot, the braggard! And stop calling me Grandpa!
Oh, don't worry, Dempsey will get his comeuppance.
"Bet you're just jealous Melpomene sounds a thousand times better in Parseltongue than all of you do in English," Colin added primly.
"Shut it, Creevey," McLaggen sneered.
*There was something in the air that night, the stars were bright, Fernando!* Melpomene happily continued her aria. *They were shining there for you and me, for liberty, Fernando! Though we never thought that we could lose, there's no regret.*
Those were some very nice high notes! Voldemort praised.
"We don't know even what she is singing!" another of McLaggen's cronies protested.
"She is singing a Muggle song that was on the radio last night, Colson," Neville gave them a pointed look. "You don't need to know what she is singing exactly to enjoy the tune."
"We could always buy her a translator," Luna suggested serenely as she finished her fruit salad. "I wanted to buy one for Thalia and Nagini today. I think I will get one for Melpomene too. That way all three can decide for themselves if they want people to know what they're saying."
A thing like that exists?! Harry had to stifle his laughter at Voldemort's abject shock.
"Yeah, you suggested something like that before," Hermione frowned a little. "Will it work, though, with Parseltongue?"
"I don't see why not. It works with most languages," Luna replied.
Oh no, Voldemort really did not sound happy about that.
Problem, Voldie? Harry asked serenely.
Yes! Because Thalia and Nagini will ensure that my followers will be able to understand everything they say, including their inane jokes!
I fail to see the down side.
HARRY!
Suddenly Dennis Creevey lit up. "Look, guys! Jehoshaphat is back with a friend!"
Sure enough, Jehoshaphat was heading towards the Gryffindor table, accompanied by an elegant looking owl who was none too happy about having to go to the messy Lions' table. Indeed, the unknown owl made sure to land on top of one of its packages, looking at the crumb and cereal covered table in disgust. As for Macnair's familiar, he landed in front of The Never-ending Problem for the Dark Side and first held out the leg that only had a letter tied to it.
Voldemort chuckled. So Lilith has joined the fun. Corban must have been talked around.
Harry decided it was best not to try and test the bird's patience this time and obediently untied the letter, looked at the hand – didn't recognise it, and then broke the seal to open the envelope.
Hello Potter,
I do not set fire to letters that make me angry; I am not Amy, thank you. I do admit that I argued with myself since your letter arrived whether or not it actually should be responded to. It seems that both my wife and son are with you on this one, so I am outvoted – please do not ask. As for Morpheus, no he did not crash into me but I do think that Beynon has the right idea that we should be investing in helmets just in case. Your owl is a right menace, much like yourself!
You are correct in assuming that Xander is a topic off limits to most people but considering the fact you seem genuine in wanting to help Bella with her fertility issues, I feel inclined to indulge you just this once. I must say I am rather surprised Horace Slughorn still looks back on us with fond memories, considering everything. But your friend is absolutely correct: Slughorn collects people, especially those with special talents or connections he can ride the tail coats of. With our old name and our own unique talents, Xander and I were both prime targets.
How did I manage to get the highest scores in Astronomy over fifty years? Passion. I spent most of my childhood watching the stars on the roof of my house because I couldn't sleep. I would draw and study star maps, planets, constellations. Most of what Hogwarts taught was basics to me. While my friends, housemates and classmates all looked ready to get to bed, I was the only one awake enough to answer questions. Not even Tom and Avior could keep their eyes open for long! Avior holds the record for dosing off while standing up because of Astronomy.
As for your second query, I am rather surprised you children even know what the Hippogriff Club is, considering the fact each year you get into some sort of mischief. I was invited, of course, on the account of my interest and high marks in Astronomy but I turned them down. Slughorn was not happy when he heard and tried to persuade me to reconsider, but I was stubborn and adamant back then. I do regret it now. But back then I viewed them as nothing but the students who did exceptionally well in underrated subjects – that was not the kind of mark I wanted. More to the point, I was already swamped with work so I didn't want to attend pointless Hippogriff Club meetings. I also had another club I was part of: the Knights of Walpurgis.
Slug Club was something I was practically dragged into by my friends. That is the long and short of it. I initially wanted nothing to do with it but then I thought getting more connections would be good so I agreed. And how did I become friends with Tom Riddle? I had no idea he ever sent a Basilisk after you but I became friends with him when Avior, Reinhardt Lestrange and I found him in an empty train compartment and decided to join him. He took a little getting used to, given that he's half-blood, but it wasn't long until he started being one of us and adopting our customs. Made him easy to like.
If you want to ask a few questions about Xander, you may, but next time, you will answer a few questions I have. Only fair, right?
Civil regards,
Balthazar Mulciber
P.S. Avior, Amy and Alecto have decided to prank you back. No idea what they have bought but they took a trip to Knockturn Alley and came back hours later, laughing.
"OK, people, Avery Senior and the Carrows have decided to retaliate," Harry announced with a smirk, folding the letter from Balthazar away and putting it in his inner robe pockets.
So Balthazar did open up a little to you, Brat. You had better not abuse this honour, Voldemort could not help but warn him.
"About bloody time!" Ron laughed. "Was beginning to wonder if the Carrows were masochists or not."
"So, the question is, which package do we start with?" Justin wondered out loud, eyeing each package suspiciously.
As soon as the question was posed, Hermione had to dodge the pecking of the new owl while Jehoshaphat immediately threatened the Boy-Who-Was-Smirking-Away-Like-A-Right-Smug-Prick with the loss of his fingers if he didn't untie the package around his leg very quickly. Hence, Team Prank had to work quickly and carefully to untie the pranks. Once freed, the new owl took off faster than a Formula 1 car while Jehoshaphat was once again forced to endure pats from Ginny.
Voldemort chuckled away as he watched. Unfortunately, the Dark Lord was soon not laughing just as hard because Harry had decided to begin closing the Link on him.
Hey! You have seen my followers open theirs!
You will get the sneaky peak next time!
Brat, you will not close this Link!
I already am! Talk to you later, Voldie!
HARRY-
Soon, Harry, Hermione and Ron had a package each in front of them, eyes regarding each prank warily.
"So, who goes first?" Neville asked nervously.
"Ladies first, I think," Ron stated, looking to Hermione.
*Feel that sense of foreboding, the chill runnin' up my spine!* Melpomene sang, shaking her petals for full effect. *Like I have been through this before, been here before.*
I really need to curb her Lorcan d'Eath time, Harry commented internally.
Hermione began to carefully unpack the prank. The moment the paper was removed, a colony of green bats show up into a cloud, causing some of the nearby students to freak out or start laughing – in the case of the Slytherins – and got the teachers to immediately spring into action to essentially turn the cloud of these green bats into piles of harmless feathers. Inside was a pack of tarot cards, along with a note.
"Oh bloody hell," Seamus commented, eyes going wide. "I am willin' to bet me pa's whiskey collection that pack of cards isn't too friendly."
Hermione, refusing to be an idiot, passed the note with the tarot cards to Harry while she kept an eye on the deck of cards. The Boy-Who-Was-Very-Likely-Going-To-Die-Because-of-His-Own-Curiosity took the note and read it out loud.
Hello Potter,
Since you like games so much, how about you play one of mine? Can you handle a deck of cursed tarot cards, or will you become madder than you are?
I really hope you lose.
Alecto Carrow
"Well, given that it is almost October and Halloween is coming up, it's rather fitting," Dean commented, gulping a little.
"We could always not play," Dennis suggested. "Don't think the Carrow woman would be any the wiser."
"Something tells me we are not going to be given much choice in the matter, little Creevey," Ron replied grimly as he turned his attention onto the package in front of him. "Might as well get this over with."
Ron was far less cautious than Hermione was, which made even Jehoshaphat almost do a facewing at how foolish that was. When the paper was lifted away from the prank, astonishingly quickly, there was a loud TTTTHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRP! sound that echoed around the Great Hall while a cloud bank of brown mist that smelled of an open sewer spread itself around. Students and teachers alike held their noses.
"EEEEEEWWWWWWWWW!" came the chorus that could practically be heard all the way down in Hogsmeade village.
"Smells worse than all the Quidditch teams socks put together!" someone complained.
"HOOOOOOT!" Jehoshaphat was just as indignant.
While holding their noses, Snape, Slughorn and Flitwick went around, dissipating the nasty spell while coming up for air now and again. The students immediately enchanted themselves with some Nice Odour Charms in order to get rid of the smell of farts and poop for a while.
"Well done, Ron, you let off a stink bomb in the middle of Hogwarts!" Ginny stated with an irritated huff, shaking her head at him.
"Didn't mean to!" Ron protested.
"Just like you didn't mean to stay on your broom during try-outs," Cormac could not help but sneer.
Just before any of Ron's friends could make a retort, McLaggen found himself trying to defend himself and run away from Jehoshaphat, who, for whatever reason, decided to inflict some rather cold, callous retribution on the Lion himself, hooting irately as he pecked at what open flesh he could get his beak into.
"HOOT! HOOT HOOT!"
"OOOWW! What is the matter with you? OWWW! Get off me, you stupid pigeon!"
"HOOOOOT?!"
Team Prank ignored the assault that was going on around them in favour of investigating the prank inside. As with the tarot cards, there was a note.
Everyone knows that you and the Light stink, Potter! Remember to take a long shower later! Oh and beware the totems – they are a little temperamental.
Amycus
"Well we all knew Amy was going to be a dick about everything," Ron commented with a scoff.
"I am definitely enjoy making him cry now," Colin piped up.
"His birthday is now going to get very interesting," Justin agreed, eyes shining with sadistic excitement.
"So we are definitely ordering the bouncy castle now?" Dennis lit up.
"I will definitely consider it," Harry replied, eyes on the next shell of paper Ron was actually taking care to unwrap this time.
Inside were a pile of books and four odd looking wooden carvings of animals. They looked perhaps Aztec or Mayan – Harry and most of his friends couldn't tell, but they did sense some rather off-putting energy coming from the four totems. The books too looked like the type of books that could scream into your face and wake the entire castle with the effort.
"Seems Amy needs to learn the definition of a prank," Seamus commented with a chuckle. "Dark Arts stuff and some creepy statues; he could have done better."
"At least neither Carrow sent us a doll," Neville shuddered at the thought. "I do not want our own Mr. Mupples situation, thanks!"
"I think we should open Avery Senior's prank and then get these out of the Hall before something bad happens," Hermione stated with a tone full of authority.
"I think it is safe to say that ship has already sailed," Ginny pointed out.
The Boy-Who-Was-Rather-Curious-To-See-If-Avior-Avery-Sent-Some-Kind-Of-Bomb-As-Well carefully unwrapped the paper from the long, rectangular shape. Once the paper was unfolded, great eared nightjars took to the skies, wings flashing different colours. The birds left a stream of silver that took the shape of the Dark Mark but while everyone was distracted by the birds, the Thorns of the Dark Side were concentrating on the box in front of them, as well as the note.
Potter,
Like Augustus, I am not the most imaginative of men. I certainly could never reach your own diabolic standards. I tried to find something I felt was good – kind of like a funny feeling. These activated that feeling, for whatever reason. I was told they belonged to a former Unspeakable; apparently they have multiple different functions.
Have fun figuring them out! Hopefully it will distract you children for a little bit.
Avior Avery
"Hmmm. Interesting," Justin commented. "Why would a Death Eater send us something cool?"
"I think the totems look cool," Colin stated. "Don't think Amy aimed for that, but oh well."
"Well, I say we open the sucker up and have a look," Seamus grinned.
Dean, Ron and Harry set to work, opening the rather intricate locks on the sides and front of the box. When they had managed to unlock the box and open it, Team Prank could not stop themselves from gaping, much to Jehoshaphat's rare amusement because the owl was hooting away with laughter at their expense.
"Masks," Neville half chuckled. "Avery Senior … sent us masks!"
"Rather fitting I suppose," Luna stated with a smile. "But Mr. Avery really did try his best so we should at least try and discover what they can do."
"You don't think these things could be dangerous?" Ginny questioned for once.
"Oh no," Luna reassured. "Mr. Avery is being nice. Besides, we should at least make sure he can deliver good news to his lady friend."
"Lady friend?!" came the shocked but excited chorus.
"Wait, Avery Senior doesn't have a wife he has to worry about does he?" Dennis inquired, looking ever so slightly worried.
"As far as I know, it is just him and his son," Harry replied. "I didn't see any wives other than Bella and Narcissa there, and visiting wives. None who went by the name of Avery."
"I think I will ask, just to make sure," Dennis decided.
"But I want to know – are we going to ask Dudley and the others to get a bouncy castle for the Carrows' birthday?" Colin really needed clarification.
"Yes, and perhaps also a bouncy dinosaur just to bully Amy a little bit more," Harry smirked. "Now, let's get these safely up to the Tower before McGonagall tries to confiscate our presents."
"POTTER!"
"Uh-oh, let's go before we're toast!"
*Ave Maria, gratia plena-*
"Melpomene, you are not helping matters!"
###########################################################################
Mr. Mupples was in a state of exasperation and amusement that whole morning. Not only had everyone tried to find Mikah the werewolf's poems again, it seemed that Tyler Reed was soon regretting finding a way to get some 'wrestling' programmes onto the television, because the younger wolves had developed a new passion: giving everyone a theme tune and playing it the moment someone entered a room.
The Dark Lord was stuck with Darth Vader's theme, Mr. Mupples' Mama was gifted Cruella de Vil, Amycus had A Snake In The Grass, Aunt Narcissa was stuck with I Put A Spell On You, Rodolphus had been bestowed The Headless Horseman's Sleepy Hollow tune, and Antonin had one of the best in Mr. Mupples' opinion: Choose Your Poison. While it was incredibly funny to begin with, most of the Death Munchers were very quickly getting tired of it, especially when Thorfinn Rowle had helped them to make 'special effects', including a smoke machine.
In addition to this, Thalia and Nagini had continued to bully and tease the Dark Lord into finding a mate, citing that Avior 'took only an afternoon to potentially find a mate' and that 'even Corban was getting female attention and he is an old grumpy guts with a smelly cloak'. While Voldemort attempted to ignore them in favour of researching IVF treatment centres, it really wasn't all that easy to ignore their comments, especially when Uncle Rabastan opted to have breakfast next to Tyler that morning, instead of sitting between Rodolphus and Mr. Mupples' Mama.
That had been funny in and of itself, but what had made it even better – at least in Mr. Mupples' humble opinion – was that only Amy, Alecto, Ralston, Derrick and Lysander made a fuss about it until Walden kicked Amy in the shins, Madam Zabini had thrown a scone into Alecto's face, Ralston had gotten a whack around the head from Augustus, Derrick had to deal with Balthazar and Lysander was getting his ears pulled by his father. The Dark Lord had been set to berate his unruly people, of course, until Thalia put a stop to it.
*See, Tom, this is the example you should be following,* the banana-coloured ball python had hissed primly. *Find a mate, show interest in them and declare your intentions for the whole world to see.*
*How many times do I need to tell you? I. Do. NOT. Want. A. MATE!*
*You're just afraid to put yourself out there, Tom,* Nagini was not helping the situation. *We admit that the walkers on the tapes are extremely lack lustre and Thalia and Nagini will endeavour to find better, but you should be helping too.*
*Thalia thinks that Wormtail must have really screwed up the ritual because it not only got rid of your nose, it also got rid of your spine!* Thalia taunted.
The Dark Lord had steam coming out of his ears at this point. *First Harry has the gumption to close the Link on me and now this nonsense again!*
*You spoke with the Potter hatchling and did not tell Thalia or Nagini?* Nagini looked extremely put out. *We wanted to speak with the Potter hatchling too, Tom! What did you talk about?*
*Nothing.*
*You must have spoken about something or you wouldn't have gone into a daze for so long! I thought you were bored because Balthazar, Rabastan and Augustus were discussing the difference between Muggle and wizard evolution with Tyler again,* Thalia stated.
*There was nothing interesting to discuss, other than Melpomene's singing talents.*
*Well, does the Potter hatchling have any interesting friends?* Nagini questioned.
*Not particularly, although Ginny is terrifying and the Mud … Muggleborn does have some magical talent-*
*Ginny? Who is Ginny?* Thalia wanted to know.
*The Brat's Bella,* Voldemort answered begrudgingly.
Nagini was the one to start tittering this time. *Two females? The Potter hatchling is only young and yet has more mate prospects than you! Hehehehehehehehehehe! Wow, this is embarrassing, Tom!*
The Dark Lord spluttered indignantly. *He does NOT have more mate prospects than me, Nagini!*
*Clearly he does,* Nagini answered simply. *Especially since, as you insist, that you don't want one.*
The Dark Lord continued to bicker with his snakes for the rest of breakfast. Mr. Mupples didn't find it very nice of Thalia and Nagini to use the man's human age against him, and decided it was probably time to cheer the scary wizard up a bit. Fortunately, Mr. Mupples had one of his 'funny feelings' again and knew where he could find something that could cheer the Dark Lord up a little.
It was back at the creepy Black house, Grimmauld Place.
Now, Mr. Mupples also had a feeling that he needed to get a move on in finding it – for some reason or the other – and had tried to communicate to his Mama the urgency of the matter, but she was either in conversation with Rodolphus, or checking on Tom the Cabbage Patch Kid or was busy threatening Mikah to cough up the location of his poems. It was only when his Aunt Narcissa had noticed that his etch-a-sketch was going slightly ham that anyone noticed that Mr. Mupples was trying to communicate something.
"Bella, I think your plushie has something to tell you," Aunt Narcissa informed crisply.
"Oh?" Bella looked sharply towards Mr. Mupples, ever so slightly lowering her wand. "What is it, Mr. Mupples?"
"The spoilt brat hasn't had enough cuddles," Rodolphus could not help but sneer.
"Shut it, Dolph," Balthazar advised quickly, seeing the scowl on Bella's face and also on the etch-a-sketch.
Mr. Mupples then turned back and quickly tried to tell his Mama what his plan was. Unfortunately, he must have been drawing too fast because once again his Mama frowned a little in confusion as soon as he had finished.
"There is something back at Grimmauld Place, is there? Something our Lord would like? Are you sure?"
Mr. Mupples sighed in annoyance. He really had no idea what a necklace with something attached to it was called, and now it was biting him in his furry, plushie behind. But apparently this was enough to catch the attention of most of Mr. Mupples' dysfunctional family.
"What in the name of everything good and magical does that thing know now?" Amycus grumbled.
"Whatever it is, it must be important because Mr. Mupples' etch-a-sketch seemed close to breaking point with how fast he was drawing," Thorfinn pointed out.
"I say we doubt Mr. Mupples at our own peril," Balthazar stated. "We doubted him before and look what happened."
"We should replace Trelawney with Mr. Mupples at some point," was all Lucius contributed.
"Lucy, Mr. Mupples is too young to be teacher!" his Mama disagreed.
"Bella, he's a plushie! They do not age!" Alecto stated in exasperation. "Besides, he could get those kids to respect him just by being his usual scary self."
"Or take Teddy Ruxpin along as a teaching assistant," Lysander suggested. "Give us all peace and quiet."
"Well, we can dissscusss thisss later," Voldemort stated in a tone full of authority. "Bella, Narcissssa, you will go with Mr. Mupplessss back to your family houssse and explore hisss intuition, possst hassste."
"Yes, my Lord!" both women answered, immediately jumping to their feet, Bella snatching Mr. Mupples up off the table.
"And what if Mr. Mupples just wants to collect a pair of Lord Black's slippers?"
"Shut up, Amy!"
"It is an honest question!"
"You aren't even acquainted with that adjective!" Avior snorted.
Fortunately, Aunt Narcissa and Mama Bella knew when to scarper so they escaped that new round of bickering fairly quickly. As the three of them approached the Floo Network, Aunt Narcissa turned to Mama Bella.
"What do we say to the wolf if he's there?" she wanted to know.
"That Mr. Mupples is taking something back and that we have more right to be there than his ungrateful, lupine behind who should be glad he didn't get pecked to death," Mama Bella stated candidly.
Aunt Narcissa nodded in agreement and opened her Floo Network. She was gone in a curtain of green fire; Mr. Mupples quietly braced himself. He really did not like the Floo travel the last time, though Cousin Dora made him feel quite safe. He just didn't like the fire or the feeling. It was at least over very quickly and Mama Bella held him quite tightly.
Mr. Mupples loved 12 Grimmauld Place. The eerie, dark heavy feeling in its walls reminded him of Malfoy Manor, which had quickly become home. Mr. Mupples loved the artefacts and the portraits, and he especially loved the drawing room. It was also there that he knew the thing the Dark Lord would like was located. He quickly jumped from his Mama's arms and began his search.
The plushie Death Eater barely noticed that his aunt and Mama decided to go snooping around a bit more.
"Hello, Kreacher!"
"My, Kreacher, have you gotten old!"
They had quickly managed to bump into the house elf of Grimmauld Place. However, it seemed that the elf made no effort to try and communicate back, which confused both Aunt Narcissa and Mama Bella.
"Kreacher, what is the matter?"
"Why are you ignoring us – wait, did Lord Black order you to ignore us?"
"I think that is likely, given … everything."
It was perhaps the sound of voices that had drawn Remus Lupin down from upstairs, his wand already drawn just in case. Mr. Mupples quietly chuckled to himself at this. The werewolf was really going to need it!
"Lupin. Still here I see?" he heard Aunt Narcissa sneer.
"Yes. What are the two of you doing back here?" Lupin wanted to know.
"Nothing that concerns you, wolf," Mama Bella responded coolly.
"I doubt it is for sentimental reasons," Lupin answered. "Were you ordered to come here?"
"Were you ordered to stay here? Like a good dog?" Mama Bella giggled. "So not only do you have no taste in women, you also have no taste in owners!"
"No one owns me, Lestrange!" Mama Bella had really hit a nerve there.
"The full moon does," Aunt Narcissa pointed out easily. "Well, one of you anyway."
It was at this precise moment the Floo Network opened again, which made Mr. Mupples frown and halt his search of one of the cupboards for a moment. That was odd – Mama Bella had closed it behind her! Which meant that someone else had managed to open it again; someone with access to the fireplace.
Possibly another member of the Order of the Flaming Chickens!
Mr. Mupples straightened as he watched a short wizard with bandy legs, horrible taste in clothes, and long, straggly ginger hair step out of the fireplace. The wizard made Fenrir look well-kempt in regards to both his hair and his facial hair, and his brown eyes were bloodshot and baggy from alcohol and a lack of sleep. Mr. Mupples recognised that look anywhere, thanks to Uncle Lucius. The wizard's hands were grubbier than the wolves' hands were after playing in the dirt and there was a right nasty stench coming from him that smelled of alcohol and a smoker's pipe.
Immediately, Mr. Mupples felt his funny feeling return and he knew instinctively that this was the reason why he had felt such an urgent need to search the drawing room himself. This man was up to no good.
The wizard started muttering incoherently to himself in an accent that was barely understandable to Mr. Mupples. He then systematically began looking through cabinets, just as Mr. Mupples had done, only this time instead of putting the items back, the wizard started putting anything that looked remotely valuable into the pockets of his dirty, quill-patched coat. Mr. Mupples watched in stunned, irate silence.
The wizard was stealing from Mr. Mupples' Papa's house!
"Nah … this ain't nothin' … this ain't nothin' either … fink this could be somethin' … nah … nah … whass dis then?"
The thief held up a golden necklace with a golden charm at the end with a giant S in emeralds on it. Instantly, Mr. Mupples knew that it was this item he had been looking for and was internally kicking himself for having not searched fast enough.
The thief chuckled to himself. "This will fetch a pretty Galleon or two!"
Oh no you don't, you vermin! Mr. Mupples thought to himself.
Quick as a Niffler spying something new and shiny, the plushie Death Eater launched himself off the cabinet he was on, straight for the face of this criminal. As he had hoped, Mr. Mupples collided with the thief, sending the man flying back in shock, screaming, dropping the important artefact and sending other artefacts flying from his pocket. As Mr. Mupples was trying to teach the thief a lesson in Repercussions For Not Checking If A Plushie Was Sentient Or Not, the commotion had attracted the attention of Lupin, Aunt Narcissa and Mama Bella, who all came running into the room to see what the fuss was about.
"Mr. Mupples, what do you think you are doing?!" Aunt Narcissa demanded.
"Dung, what in the name of everything good and magical do you think you're doing here?" Lupin added, sounding just as indignant as Aunt Narcissa. "Dumbledore ordered you to stay away from this house!"
"I was just checkin' up on ya, Lupin! OW!" the sneak thief tried to lie his way out of trouble as Mr. Mupples socked him on the nose. "For fuck's sake! What the hell is this thin'?!"
"MR. MUPPLES IS NOT A THING!" Mama Bella seethed.
The thief promptly received a punch to the eye for that comment.
"You know this … man?" Aunt Narcissa asked Lupin with a voice and expression of complete disgust.
"Unfortunately," Lupin growled. "Mundungus Fletcher – he's one of ours, but he is a petty criminal with ties to the black market so one of our lower rank members." The werewolf glowered at this Mundungus person. "The real reason you are here, Dung, if you please?"
Mr. Mupples was more than happy to oblige the answer to that question and began shaking violently.
"HE WAS STEALING FROM THE HOUSE OF BLACK?!"
Windows started to crack because of Mama Bella's rage.
Mundungus the thief's eyes widened. "Stealin'? It ain't stealin'! I am simply findin' new 'omes for stuff! Sirius is dead and no one lives 'ere!"
"This house belongs to Harry, Dung!" Lupin's eyes started to turn rather lupine at this point. Aunt Narcissa and Mama Bella once more drew their wands. "He was named Heir before Siri died. You are stealing from the new Lord Black!"
Mundungus the thief paled. "Now 'old on a minute! I didnay know that Pot'er was the new Lord Black! No one tells me nothin'!"
"For good reason: we don't trust you," Lupin responded coldly.
"Clearly! But you trust these two 'ags? They're Death Eaters, Lupin!"
"Hags?!" Aunt Narcissa seethed. "You ill-mannered braggard, I think it is about time we teach you a long overdue lesson in manners!"
It was at this point Mr. Mupples decided to leave the dirty thief to his Aunt Narcissa and Mama Bella's mercy, hopping off to pick up the locket. However, it seemed that the sneak thief really was an idiot because the Dung wizard had attempted to Stun Lupin and Aunt Narcissa and then had to dodge a curse from Mama Bella as he scrambled to his feet. Unfortunately for the thief, both Aunt Narcissa and the werewolf recovered quite quickly and shot several multi-coloured spells at him that he barely managed to block and protect himself from. Mama Bella went around gathering the precious artefacts while Lupin and Aunt Narcissa kept their wands and eyes trained on the criminal.
"Look 'ere, let's talk this out like reasonable people," the thief attempted to bargain.
"I think not," Aunt Narcissa responded crisply. "I do not bargain with thieving scum like you."
"I must say, I have to agree," Lupin concurred. "Dumbledore and Harry will be hearing of this from me. Harry can decide to press charges."
The thief smirked, revealing two nasty gold teeth in his mouth, which made Mr. Mupples pull a face in disgust. "We shall see 'bout that!"
The Dung wizard promptly attempted to do something similar to a rugby tackle that Mr. Mupples had seen the werewolves do while playing the game with the odd brown ball with white markings. He dodged a spell from Mama Bella because of the move and both Aunt Narcissa and Lupin dived out of the way. Unfortunately, it ensured that the miscreant got his hands on Mr. Mupples and the locket.
Immediately, Mr. Mupples started to attack the thief's face again, desperately trying to free himself and locket from the man's grasp as they went, heading towards the front door of 12 Grimmauld Place.
"MR. MUPPLES!" Mama Bella shrieked.
"Kreacher, help!" Aunt Narcissa called out.
"Kreacher, there is a thief in Lord Black's home! Help!" Lupin added as he and the two witches ran after the wrestling wizard and plushie, none of them wanting to fire a shot in case Mr. Mupples got hurt.
Mr. Mupples had no idea how Kreacher had been so fast but the next thing he knew, the Black elf was assaulting the thief with a nice, large frying pan, screaming, "filth in my master's house! Filth taking what isn't his! Kreacher will tell filthy half-blood master – NOOOO! Master Regulus' locket! NOOO!"
The onslaught became relentless at this point. So relentless that Mr. Mupples was almost knocked to the floor, but he desperately tried to cling onto the locket. However, he was knocked off by another strike from the pan and the thief very soon disappeared into thin air with the locket.
Kreacher was beside himself. "Master Regulus' locket! NOOOO! Kreacher bad elf! Kreacher never be forgiven! How will Kreacher face filthy half-blood master now? Bad elf, bad elf-"
The Black family elf was hitting himself in the face with the frying pan until Lupin took the thing out of his hands. "Enough, Kreacher! Harry will not hate you for this. I will write to him and tell him what happened, and that you tried your best to protect that locket. OK?"
The elf didn't answer but continued sobbing hysterically.
"I will also write to Andy and Dora and explain the situation," Aunt Narcissa added firmly. "Since Dora is with the Order and is an Auror, I am pretty certain she can track this scoundrel down!"
"We will make him regret ever setting foot here," Mama Bella agreed, eyes dancing with malice.
Lupin regarded both Aunt Narcissa and Mama Bella for a moment. "On a scale of one to ten, how much trouble do you think you will be in when you get back?" he wanted to know.
"We will get at least two Boglins each," Aunt Narcissa sighed in resignation.
Mr. Mupples shook with rage. He made an internal vow that if he ever saw Mundungus Fletcher again, the thief was going to be in for a world of pain! Nobody steals from Mr. Mupples' family and gets away with it.
Nobody!
###########################################################################
Neville was on one hand very glad to get some time at lunch to head to the library to find the books Professor Slughorn had suggested to him, but on the other hand he could not help but feel more than a little apprehensive about accessing the Restricted Section. In Neville's mind the place had been more ominous than the Forbidden Forest and that was saying something! The only reason the Herbologist was not chickening out completely, was because Melpomene was coming along with him.
Madam Pince the librarian had been less than pleased at first when Neville proposed to enter the library with a plant – sentient or not, the Cobra Lily could still make a mess.
"I promise she is very well behaved and won't touch any of the books," Neville vowed nervously.
"See that she doesn't," Madam Pince sniffed as she handed Neville his permission slip after authenticating it. "Follow me."
Neville did not need to be told twice. He ignored the stares of some of the students around him, including those of Ginny, who was sitting at a table with a mountain of books that could put Hermione to shame. Melpomene was enjoying herself, humming very softly as she looked about her surroundings.
Madam Pince unlocked the Restricted Section and gestured to the young Lion to follow her down one of the far right aisles. "No … not here … not this either … ah! Here we are: Old Earth magic, hedgewitchery and Ancient Druidic magic," she stated. "Been a while since a student was sent for books such as these, but considering what I have been hearing about your Herbology talents, Mr. Longbottom, I know these books are in safe hands."
Neville smiled softly and emphatically nodded his head in affirmation.
"Good. I will check in with you in about an hour," the librarian stated as she left.
Neville was left stunned in front of tomes and manuscripts that looked hundreds of years old. The boy gulped. "I think Slughorn must have overestimated my abilities," he whispered to himself.
Melpomene didn't agree because she immediately stopped humming to scowl at him, hissing softly in indignation, shaking her petal hood. Neville felt himself smile again. "You don't agree, do you? Very well, then. I think we should start with some hedgewitchery and Old Earth magic. What do you say?"
The Cobra Lily lit up and shook her petals in excitement.
"OK, sounds like a plan," Neville chuckled softly as he put her down on a nearby table, along with his bag and robes. He then turned around and studied the spines of the tomes. "Hmm … no this doesn't sound basic … this does … Beginner's Guide to Hedgewitchery … The Ins and Outs of Earth Magic … Becoming One with Nature: Going Back to Magic's Roots … I think these are good to begin with. Right, Melpomene?"
The Cobra Lily suddenly jumped to attention. She had been distracted from sensing a magical presence in the library that she had not sensed before. It wasn't human, or a ghost, and the Cobra Lily knew it must be one of the books in the sea of bookshelves. Neville frowned.
"Everything all right?"
Melpomene nodded. She would tell her friend about her funny feeling another time.
Neville sighed with relief as he sat down. "OK, let's begin with the hedgewitchery one. It has some chapters on magical plants. Who knows – maybe we will find some more things about Cobra Lilies?"
Melpomene nodded excitedly and watched her friend open the book eagerly, though trying not to look around her in order to see if she could sense the presence from where she was sitting.
###########################################################################
Luna was rather pleased that the translators for Thalia, Nagini and Melpomene arrived rather quickly – it had only been a few hours since she placed the order. They had arrived just before dinner. As usual, most of her friends had been sceptical of the devices and had been pretty certain that Luna had been swindled out of a couple of Sickles but when Luna had activated it and placed it close to Melpomene's vocal cords, her friends were soon eating their words.
As Luna had hoped, they were all able to understand Melpomene's rendition of Paint It Black that the Cobra Lily had decided to give a dark, eerie cover of and were utterly entranced by it. They tried it on all of Melpomene's songs, and each time the non-Parseltongue speakers could understand what their Cobra Lily friend was saying.
It had also been rather satisfying to hear Melpomene call McLaggen a 'narrow-minded dunderhead' and his friends 'mindless sheep who bleat nonsense' and had caused double the laughter when the boys had been gorgonised to the spot because they had understood what the Cobra Lily had said.
One could safely say that Team Prank were now very excited to send those translators over to Malfoy Manor.
"You-Know-Who is definitely going to want to flay us all alive but it will be worth it!" Seamus chuckled as Team Prank gathered in Harry's dorm once more, preparing to make their call to Dudley in order to get the retaliation pranks and the Carrows' birthday surprise prepared.
"Pretty sure Thalia is going to enjoy having a much wider audience," Dean smirked.
"Plus, she and Nagini will be able to decide if and when they are understood," Luna added with a grin. "That way she, Nagini and Mr. Voldemort can still have private conversations."
"Good idea. I doubt that Old Noseless would like his people to know that his snakes are trying to set him up with someone," Harry chuckled. "It is bad enough that they are on the trail of someone called Tom, and the Death Munchers are not stupid enough to think that Tom is referring to the Cabbage Patch Kid!"
"So, just so we are clear," Hermione decided to get everyone's trains of thought back onto the correct track. "We are reserving a ten-pin bowling alley and some bouncy castles for the Carrows' birthday."
"Correct," the Boy-Who-Really-Wanted-To-Make-His-Least-Favourite-Death-Munchers-Start-Crying confirmed.
"And since Alecto is a humourless old bat, we are going to send her some joke books, books with quips, sarcastic comments, et cetera," the Most Organised Witch of Her Age continued.
"Correct again!"
"And since Amycus is such a nightmare to deal with, and because Halloween is fast approaching, Nightmare Before Christmas stuff for him," Dennis continued with an excited grin on his face. "Colin, Justin and I came up with that."
"Sounds fitting," Ron agreed.
"So what are we thinking for Avery Senior?" Dean wanted to know.
"I had an idea," Ginny informed. "I have been going through some Muggle Studies books in the library and I came across something called 'opera'. There are some Muggles, especially ones who are traditionally high class or pretend to be high class, who go to see this thing called 'opera' and I thought since Avery Senior apparently has a lady friend we could get two tickets to an opera."
"Ooooo, I like that idea!" Justin's eyes shone.
"That does sound rather fitting," Seamus agreed.
"I thought perhaps also some children's books for the young werewolves," Hermione added. "Harry mentioned that some of Fenrir's pack is composed of children as young as eight and I doubt Malfoy Manor has much in way of books to keep them entertained."
"I think the games are already doing that, Hermione," Neville pointed out.
"Yes, but children get bored easily and perhaps some of them like bed time stories," the Greatest Bookworm of Her Age countered.
"Hermione has a point there. I agree – who else?" Harry asked.
All hands shot into the air, including Ron's.
"Perhaps we should also get our hands on old university textbooks for Augustus and some Muggle history things for Rabastan or Balthazar?" Colin continued.
"Oooo those sound good. Hold that thought, Colin," Harry instructed as he dialled Dudley's number.
It seemed that Dudley was expecting them because the phone picked up only after one beep.
"Evening, cousin. I have to keep my voice down – Mum and Dad are home," Dudley warned quickly.
"Thanks for the head's up, Dud. We will keep this short and sweet; already gave some thought to the next batch," Harry informed.
"Gimme a moment, I will get the computer started. OK – yep, password – here we go – yes, start listing, wizards!"
"Homework been killing you?" Seamus asked amicably.
"Always. So, what are we thinking of sending?"
"Well, it is the Carrow twins' birthday soon, and we thought about booking them a few surprises," Ron answered with a grin. "Do you know what a ten-pin bowling alley is?"
"Obviously," Dudley was quite clearly rolling his eyes at the other end of the line. "You want me to book them and the rest of their messed up crew for a bowling session? When is their birthday?"
"October 8th," Ginny replied.
"Daaaaaamn. You guys know your enemies' birthdays? They should be pissing themselves. OK, I am making a note of it so I can find a good one to book. Anything else?"
"Bouncy castles and a bouncy dinosaur," Dennis piped up.
"Probably should have seen that coming," Dudley muttered to himself. "Is that all for the birthday mayhem or do I need to arrange a cake too?"
"Nah, we spoil them enough already," Harry smirked evilly. "OK, we were thinking of buying some books on jokes, sarcastic quips and good comebacks for Alecto since the woman clearly needs to develop a funny bone."
"On it! Oh – oooo, some of these are actually good! I think I will buy some for myself too. Is that OK, cousin?"
"Go for it!"
"The Creeveys and I also thought it would be apt to send Amycus Carrow Nightmare Before Christmas paraphernalia, since the man is kind of a nightmare to deal with and it is getting closer to Halloween," Justin continued.
"All right! I haven't seen the movie myself yet but I heard it was pretty good," Dudley replied. "Third target?"
"Avior Avery. Ginny thought it would be good to send the man to an opera, maybe with a second ticket since Luna has had one of her feelings – the man has a lady friend apparently," Neville informed.
"Death Munchers have time to date?! Crikey," Dudley laughed. "So are we thinking a romantic opera or a psychological drama?"
"I think we should leave that you, mate. You have had some good ideas," Ron answered.
"Poor sods. OK, then! Probably will order the tickets and then send them via the mail … anyone else going to be targeted or is this it?"
"More books, I'm afraid," Colin answered. "Some kids books for the kid werewolves – you know, Narnia, Roald Dahl, that kind of thing – and then some university text books for Rookwood and then some books on Muggle history – Second World War, Cold War, that kind of thing. You can choose between Rabastan Lestrange and Balthazar Mulciber for those."
"Or both, because they sound like bookworms the pair of them from what you have been sending them previously," Dudley suggested.
"Good idea. A little jealousy is healthy now and again," Harry agreed with a smirk.
"Nothing for Voldemort-"
"DON'T SAY HIS NAME!"
"-himself?"
"Not this time, Dud. Grandpa is on a time out."
"HOMEWORK TIME! CAW!"
"I think that is my cue to go," Dudley chuckled. "I think Mum is almost ready with dinner anyway. Evening, guys!"
"Bye, Dudley!"
Team Prank all shot the automaton raven a pointed look before making a start on their homework before they got told off.
###########################################################################
As Dudley had correctly anticipated, Petunia was very quickly done with dinner not long after he had hung up with his slightly demented cousin and his equally demented friends. He had already placed most of the orders when his mother called him down. When he got downstairs, the TV was of course on in the living room, his father was at the dinner table reading the evening newspaper and his mother was serving the food.
"Ah, there is my hard worker! How was school today? How are you getting on?" his mother wanted to know.
"School was good, overall, I guess," Dudley answered as he sat down. "Construction is good. I am getting better marks in History and Science. Maths and English still suck though."
"You don't need to be a walking calculator or a William Shakespeare in order to get anywhere, son," his father responded, not looking up from his paper.
"I know, I just want to pass them," Dudley replied with a small swallow and then he noticed something out of the corner of his eye and turned to have a look.
There was a gossip magazine open next to his mother's plate. Dudley had no idea which magazine it was – his mother practically collected the damn things as though they were stamps – but it was the article in the magazine that had caught Dudley's eye.
RALPH FIENNES AND HELENA BONHAM CARTER SPOTTED AMONGST FRIENDS AT NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM.
Dudley felt his heart skip a beat in shock. Wait a minute … no … it couldn't have been! Stunned, Dudley pulled the magazine towards him to see the photos taken. The photos of two of the people in question did look strikingly like the two actors in question but Dudley had a funny feeling in his stomach, that these two people were definitely not the two normal actors! The ugly, furry, multicoloured plushie monster wearing black in 'Helena's' arms kind of gave that away!
Mr. Mupples – it had to be.
A question soon began circling in Dudley's mind. How in the Jesus Christ did Lord Voldemort find himself a nose and hair?!
"Ah, what do you make of that, Diddikins?" his mother had spotted him reading the article. "Marjorie thinks that there is something between the two but I am not convinced. If it was a date, they would not be inviting that many friends along. After all, it only attracts attention."
"Plus, they went to a museum," his father added gruffly. "Not the most romantic place for a first date, amongst all those stuffy artefacts."
Dudley found himself grinning a little. "Perhaps they just wanted to see Dippy?"
"Are Mr. Fiennes and Ms Bonham Carter even interested in dinosaurs?" his father frowned over his paper.
"Hey, who doesn't like to see a prehistoric monster?" Dudley shrugged. He then turned to his mother. "Hey, Mum? Can I have this?" he gestured towards the article. "I know a couple of guys who will love it."
"Piers has a crush on Ms Bonham Carter?" his father smirked, finally putting the paper away.
Dudley paled. "Errrrm … something like that?"
"Oh go ahead, darling. I have read it enough times," his mother replied with a sweet smile. "Now, you boys eat up. We can't have you fainting due to lack of energy."
It was perhaps for the first time in his life that Dudley was actively counting down the seconds that he could escape from the dinner table. He needed to get back upstairs as quickly as he could manage and get a hold of Harry. Hopefully the diabolical little shit wouldn't get an early night!
Once he was allowed to leave the dinner table with the article, Dudley raced upstairs, took his phone out of his pocket and quickly dialled Harry's number, praying to whatever god would listen that his cousin would pick up rather quickly.
It seemed that whatever high power existed decided to listen because after the third beep, Harry picked up.
"Dud? Everything OK?" he asked curiously.
"Yeah, but you're not going to believe what I have just read," Dudley chuckled. "It seems Voldemort and his little friends were not as careful as they thought when they visited Dippy not too long ago."
"What do you mean?" Harry wanted to know, excitement laced in his tone.
"They were spotted, let's leave it at that," Dudley answered. "Hey, do you mind if I borrow Hedwig or another owl that belongs to one of your friends? I think your little Dark side friends should see this."
"I will send you Morpheus soon," came the answer. "How angry is this going to make them, do you think?"
"Probably very," Dudley wagered.
"Good. Thanks for telling me – night, Dud."
"Night, cousin."
Once Dudley hung up, he couldn't keep the evil smirk off his own countenance. This was going to be fun!
##########################################################################
Draco Malfoy once more found himself heading towards the Owlery in order to visit a certain snowy owl who had subsequently become a confessor to him. Not only was the Vanishing Cabinet still acting up – less than it did in the beginning, but still spewing nonsense now and again – but now Draco was stuck with a moral dilemma.
He had gotten a letter from Cousin Dora, one that was clearly an attempt on her side to reach out to him. She had told him about a case or two she was working on. Apparently some miscreant had stolen from Lord Black's house and the second was about foolish Muggles conjuring Golems, of all things. There was also a plot on Dora's side to get Corban Yaxley to go and visit Dippy the diplodocus with her, which Draco had no idea what to think of. A part of him wanted to reply, desperately, and another part of him still viewed Dora as the cousin that should simply be left forgotten.
Hence why Draco was on his way to see Hedwig: the owl would know what to do.
When he got to the Owlery, unsurprisingly most of the feathered familiars were asleep or feasting on their evening kills. Hedwig, Jehoshaphat and Morpheus were deep in conversation with Cymbeline, much to Draco's surprise. When all four owls noticed him, they immediately gave him their full attention. Well, Morpheus did the best he could while still asleep.
Draco smiled softly. "Evening. I hope I am not disturbing … I should probably also apologise for not visiting as often."
"Hoot, hoot," Hedwig reassured. She frowned a little. "Hoot, hoot hoot?"
"I am stuck with a different problem at the moment. The Cabinet is a never ending one," Draco scoffed as he held up his cousin's letter. "My cousin Dora wrote to me, out of the blue. It's a rather fun letter and it makes me think that perhaps she wants some actual family contact."
Hedwig frowned, as did the other owls. She cocked her head to one side. "Hoot, hoot, hoot?"
"That's the issue: I don't know if I am happy or unhappy about it," Draco sighed. "Dora is funny and unique, but she is still a half-blood-"
"Hoot hoooooot!" Hedwig huffed.
"Hedwig, it does matter-"
"Hoot! Hoot hoot hoot, hoooot!"
"… It doesn't matter because she is family?" Draco whispered. "But … what will my father think when he hears?"
"Hoot hoot!" Hedwig stated.
"Hedwig, he is still my father!" Draco protested.
"Hoot! Hoot, hoot, hooot!" Cymbeline was on Hedwig's side, much to Draco's disappointment.
"No, he isn't always right," Draco begrudgingly agreed.
"Hoot, hoot?" Cymbeline asked.
"Yes, I like Cousin Dora."
"Hoot, hoot, hoot?" Hedwig continued.
"…I would like to have another person in my corner, yes," Draco sighed in defeat. "I am … probably overthinking things, aren't I?"
"HOOOT!" came the affirmative chorus from the owls.
"Yes, I thought that would be your answer," Draco chuckled softly.
It was at this point the door to the Owlery opened and Draco whirled around, ready to draw his wand. He really did not fancy dealing with Filch or Mrs. Norris this evening. The pair had become positively unbearable since the school got a new paint job. The Malfoy heir did not relax a jot when he saw Harry I-Take-Pride-In-Making-The-Lives-of-The-Malfoys-A-Misery Potter enter the room.
The so-called Saviour blinked at him for a moment before relaxing slightly. "Evening, Draco," he stated nonchalantly. "Conversing with my owl again?"
"None of your damn business," came the automatic reply.
"You're probably right," the irritating Lion shrugged. "You can go back to it in a minute. I just need to borrow Morpheus."
Draco frowned but stepped aside so the Boy-Who-Was-Turning-Draco's-Father-Into-An-Alcoholic could take his owl. Part of him wanted to ask Potter if this was because of the break-in at Grimmauld Place, but Draco refused to give in to temptation simply out of principle. He and the owls watched the Chosen One leave with his snoozing bird.
"Hoooot, hoot hooooot," Jehoshaphat stated.
"Quite," Draco agreed quietly.
Whoever it was Morpheus was going to be delivering to was in a world of trouble.
###########################################################################
I think it is safe to say that Mundungus Fletcher has done a massive ooopsie. What will be the repercussions for it? How will the Carrows react to their pranks? Will they sense that this is only the beginning? What will the Death Munchers think of the article sent by Dudley? Stay tuned to find out!
Oh boy is life hectic right now! How many social engagements are my friends trying to fit into my diary, seriously? I want to take this opportunity to thank some of my reviewers for their ideas that I used in this story. Give a round of applause to the reviewers named Dude, setokayba2n, lynneas73, Althalus57, 45Ranger and DuckRandom! Keep the suggestions coming because they seriously fuel my ideas faster than they would on my own.
I don't think I have done a disclaimer in a while so just to be on the safe side: all properties I use in this fanfic belong to their rightful owners! I am simply building a mad sandcastle here!
See you in the next moment of madness!
Kingmaker'sUmbreon