Chapter 4

Katiya (a few minutes later, approximate time: 7:20 AM)

Katiya felt faint. As soon as she (very slowly and deliberately) left the Kazekage's office, she ran. She had to tell Gaara. She had to talk to Yashamaru, and see if he received a similar message, even though she had a knot in her stomach telling her that he already knew. But something nagged at her. There was something not right, but Katiya couldn't place her finger on it.

She stopped at the base of the abandoned building where his swing was set. She looked up. Some of the best memories after so long traveling alone. She relied on the kindness of others during her travels, really. Some genin who was willing to show her how to imbue her chakra into water when she couldn't figure out how to transform it from chakra with just a two-tomoe Sharingan those years ago. A grandmother that allowed her to stay for the night in her own home after she defended her from robbers.

In all the places she went, when she looked for light, she found it. There were recesses of the dark, but none of them ever sought her out. None of them were as powerful as the Kazekage, or as personal as the father of someone she cared for.

Katiya climbed up the side stairs to Gaara's playground set, and ran up the boy swathed in his off-white poncho. Gaara's face lit up when he saw her, but tinged with worry when she neared enough for him to see her face. Gaara jumped off his swing.

"Katiya, what's wrong?"

Katiya knelt down and hugged him. She had known the boy for more almost a year, enough time for them to grow closer. Enough time for her to feel tortured for what she must do to save him. What she had to do to save him. Turn them both into rogues, like her mother had been after running from the academy exam in Kirigakure. Doomed to run like criminals forever. That was, if she could find it—the strength—in her to save him and run forever from a place she thought she was safe.

"Katiya, what's wrong?" Gaara repeated, crushed by her tight hug—one allowed by even Gaara's spiritual mother—a fact that went unnoticed by the both of them with the tension in the air.

"Nothing, Gaara, nothing. Nothing yet. I just miss you, I just miss you... I just miss you," she repeated tiredly, and quietly. I just miss you.

Gaara made no sound, simply returning the hug, silently wondering what Katiya was so worried about.

Gaara (approximate time: 10:00 PM)

Katiya stayed with Gaara in the living room until Yashamaru came back. Once entering the living room and seeing the intense look Katiya had in her eye, Yashamaru paused. "Have you guys eaten dinner yet?" he asked carefully.

"Yeah." Katiya answered for them both, in a voice seemingly devoid of emotion.

Gaara flicked his gaze up at Katiya, the teen the look was directed to, not noticing. Brows furrowed in concerned curiosity.

Yashamaru nodded. "Alright." Yashamaru breathed. "Gaara, off to bed with you, then."

Gaara gave a scandalized glance to Yashamaru, not understanding the tension in the room and wanting to help. "But I wanna stay up."

Yashamaru's eyelid twitched, his patience wearing thin with the more pressing matters ahead. He had forgotten who he was talking to, and he urged his tone to become more placating. "Gaara, you're not supposed to stay up late, remember?"

Gaara exchanged a glance with Katiya. She knew, from their talks, that Gaara had trouble sleeping, and also hated sleeping because of him. Gaara had told her that he, Shukaku, would whisper to him, would creep into reality using him, and would make his head throb and mind change. Yashamaru knew it as well, but a part of them knew that Yashamaru may have been in a tiny bit of denial, thinking of Gaara as any old kid in order to live with him.

"Gaara, I have to talk to Yashamaru for a little while." Katiya said, loosening the severity of her tone as well. "Yashamaru and I don't want you to get hurt. Just make sure you don't leave the house, okay? Night time can be dangerous."

Gaara looked between the two of them, his uncle and his friend. He remembered talking to Katiya that sometimes when older people wanted to be alone together at night, they were going to show that they loved each other. Gaara didn't quite understand exactly what "love" Katiya was referring to, as she didn't elaborate, but since Katiya was effectively his sister and received the same love Gaara did from Yashamaru, he thought it made sense and didn't argue.

"O-kay." Gaara conceded.

Katiya gave him a tired smile. And Gaara smiled back.

Yashamaru (approximate time: 10:15 PM)

Yashamaru and Katiya walked outside together, agreeing to slowly walk to a sushi shop on the outskirts of the village. Neither of them frequented the area, and that was what really mattered. Yashamaru looked at the young woman walking ever so slightly in front of him. It was strange, but he could bet that she had hardly aged at all—her hair length and form the same as it was the year before.

Katiya, noticing the look, stopped in her tracks. "You did know, didn't you. You knew this the entire time."

Yashamaru kept walking to meet her. "I… was assigned to keep Gaara safe and monitor his emotional state."

"You mean keep the villagers safe."

Yashamaru nodded. "That too."

The light in Katiya's eyes grew dim, but she said nothing. Yashamaru knew she suspected his… mission to monitor Gaara, even before this. His mission was also to test Gaara's reliability as a weapon—including psychologically but she didn't know that. He was, after all, a medic-nin in the ANBU. But Yashamaru had the gnawing sensation that he, Katiya, and Gaara were all in the Lord Kazekage's test together.

"What will you do?" he asked.

"I don't know, not yet." She responded carefully. "I will train him the few months I have left here though. It's what comes after I'm worried about."

"I-I…" He didn't think he had the strength to hold off the people he knew the Lord Kazekage would send after her, if he were to go against the Kazekage. But it made his gut wretch when he considered the other option, what would happen should the girl stay after the six month limit, and the Kazekage's sunny disposition. Karura, he thought desperately, what would you do?

"I'm willing to take Gaara and run," Katiya said, interrupting his thoughts.

Yashamaru looked up in shock. Strangely, he preferred it if Katiya left without a word, it would've made what he was going to do under the Kazekage's orders later hurt so much less. "No. You can't. He won't allow you to. You won't just be any old rogue, like how you and your parents lived in the Land of Waves. You'll be hunted down by his forces, and then by all of the other shinobi villages once word got out that a Jinchuriki is on the loose."

"I have to try. What else can I do? If I'm unsuccessful at turning Gaara into a perfect weapon, I'm dead. If I am successful and Gaara turns into a perfect weapon, he'll never… he'll effectively be internally dead. I'm damned either way, and I don't even know what will happen to him if I leave him, 'untrained' as the Kazekage put it." Desperation gnawed at her voice.

"I-I…" Yashamaru tried again.

What can he do? If she were to run with Gaara, she'd be painting an even larger target on herself, drawn by Suna's forces, then the other villages upon being told about the walking weapon Gaara was, and then the Akatsuki. A splinter group purported to have an interest in Jinchuriki, according to the preliminary intelligence Konohagakure sent to Suna via their alliance. The Akatsuki hadn't harmed or killed any Jinchuriki yet, but it was a possibility. And if it were to come true, Katiya would never be safe. And it wasn't her responsibility, a fifteen/sixteen year-old at the most, to care for Gaara.

"If… If… you were to leave with Gaara, you'd be running forever. There would be no safe place for you. Do you really want to do that?" Yashamaru asked, turning to look her dead in the eye.

Katiya sucked in a breath "No, but I will if I must. The boy isn't… He's a child. You know that."

Yashamaru grabbed her arm and lowered his voice to a rapid whisper. "But you can't. He will stop you. It's not—it's—he will kill you."

And you yourself are still just a child. Yashamaru mentally added.

Katiya looked at him. Firmly, she said, "Then I won't die."

Yashamaru looked at her like she was crazy, furiously he whispered, "That's not how it works. Have you even tried avoiding the Kazekage? His third eye sees everything. Even us, now." Yashamaru let out a drawn-out sigh. "Avoiding making Gaara a weapon and being used is easy—just leave Suna. You're the only one as close to him as you are… the Kazekage can't do anything without you, Gaara will be fine here with me…"

Katiya nodded. She knew of a few abandoned mine tunnels and where some of the evacuation routes of Suna ran. She'd leave in three or four months, then. More than enough time to say goodbye and grab in some extra training for herself.

Yashamaru glanced behind him—sure enough, out of the corner of his eye, a white pupiled orb whisked away. Yashamaru gritted his teeth. The Lord Kazekage may have had eyes on him, but without a physical ANBU agent watching him, he had no ears on their conversation.

He was a medic-nin. That meant his job was to get as many people out of wars alive, and if necessary, ensure that his people in particular had a higher chance of surviving a war. Katiya, he had decided, was one of those people. One of those people he wanted to help—had to. Even if it hurt.

Gaara (approximate time: 11:30 PM)

Gaara sat up in bed, his knees to his chest, rocking back and forth under the blankets. Just a few more hours. Just a few more hours. Just a few more hours, he chanted in his mind, afraid. Indeed, it was "just a few more hours" until daylight, if Gaara could wait that long.

He was taking in rapid, short breaths, as if he was running a marathon. In a way, he was. He had to do anything to avoid sleeping. Yashamaru was still out, so there was no one to wake him or calm him if he came out. And it was only a matter of time. He had to stay awake until someone came.

Back, forth, back, forth. Sometimes there were good days, when Shukaku didn't want to come out. When Shukaku was quiet. But if the headache that was starting to take hold was any evidence, today was not one of those days. Back, forth, back, forth, Gaara rocked.

"Hmmmgh…" Gaara clutched his head with both of his hands, doubling over. He was getting louder. Gaara stopped rocking and curled up into a fetal position under the covers. THUMP. THE-THUMP. THUMP. THE-THUMP. His heart was pounding. Why can't it stop? Why? Why me? Why now? Gaara thought weakly. Gaara writhed in pain.

"Hffffttt… Huhhhhh… Hfffffttttt… Huhhhh…" His head throbbed. Gaara buried his fingertips into his hair, trying to stop the pounding. His heart. Gaara removed one of his hands from his hair to grab his chest. He balled up the fabric of his shirt with a clawed hand, as if that would help the pain. THUMP. THE-THUMP. THUMP. THE-THUMP. Slowly, but surely, Shukaku was waking up.

The Shukaku awoke with a laugh. He was always there, really. But at night he was stronger. BeTTeR NoT FaLL AsLEeP, LiTtLE GAARA. YoU KnOW WhAT WiLL HaPpeN. LiTtLe KaTiyA wiLL bE SOOOooo DiSaPpoINTEd.

Gaara widened his eyes. They fact that he hadn't blinked in an attempt to avoid closing them and thus falling asleep left them red and puffy. Gaara began to shake.

CoME NoW LittLe GAARA, DoN't YoU WaNT To KiLL TheM? tHeY're NoThinG bUt a CAge. wHy nOT pRoVE YoU DoN't NEED ThEM, eH?

Gaara was in his own world now. Unbeknownst to him, the sand began to gather and swirl. Katiya had told him to use happiness to control his sand, but here, and right now, he had none. He was alone, and there was no one to help him. Gaara fought to keep his breathing even.

Katiya wasn't there to distract to him. Yashamaru wasn't there to hold him.

No one was there to restrain Shukaku.

Shukaku laughed again. The furniture in the room began to rattle. LiTtLe GAARA, WhY dOn't We GO PlaY?

And watch the little kids go splat, Gaara thought. Both he and Shukaku laughed. TheY'Ve leFT Me all aLoNe. It CaN't HurT to haVe A litTle FuN.

Gaara rolled over, realizing what was happening. He grabbed his head again, with both hands. No. No, no, n-no. I can't, I can't. I can't. I can't—Yashamaru—I have to stay. I have to stay awake. I have to stay awake… I have to stay awake. Katttiiiyaaa… I have to stay. I have to stay awake. I have to stay awake. I have to stay…