Apologies for last week (if anyone is reading this?) I was on holiday! Enjoy!

AMNE POV

I watched him go, and as he went to his tent, a tension had rolled over Astarion. No one else seemed bothered by it, but I couldn't deny how it set my teeth on edge; and worst of all I didn't understand why. I had no real reason to care for him more than the others, neither did I have reason to fear him more either, but it bothered me to see his jaw set so tightly. Like it made a difference to my day. It didn't. Of course it didn't. I was nothing but a fellow victim to him, turned ally for the moment. And I doubted that would stretch beyond the absolute necessary. He needed this group in order to stay alive, that was it, and that was all I should expect. He didn't owe me a damn thing. And I didn't owe him anything either.

So why did my eyes keep flitting to that damned tent?

Because I'm an idiot apparently.

I laid back on my bedroll and considered the stars above me instead, wondering if they watched, if they had any idea what the hells was going on down here. Maybe they did. Maybe they found it all very funny. The pointy-eared-dark-haired-little-twerp without a memory, stumbling around with a band of misfits, little worms squirming between their ears. Hell of a pitch-line.

But really… All things considered, we were doing well. We had a plan, a path forward, and some decent allies alongside. If only I could shift that uneasiness beneath my skin. Those moments of rage that bubbled up in my gut, churned in my muscles and made my skin itch to move. I'd managed to brush off kicking that damned squirrel with a suggestion of thinking it was a rat coming to bite me. That seemed well enough accepted. But that impulse had gotten away from me. I didn't even recall lashing out at it. I saw it, registered the aggression in its stance, and then suddenly I was looking down at the bloodied toe of my boot. Damn. What the hell was this… thing inside of me?

When we had first entered that grove and I'd dealt with that curly-haired moron mouthing off at Zevlor, the violence had almost won immediately. As soon as I saw the way his eyes flashed with anger, the want to pummel Zevlor so bright in that man's eyes, I felt it curdle in my own gut, a want to lash out and bring the world to a halt with a satisfying strike. I doubted he felt that want for red to join the scene, for it to paint his blonde curls flat against a caved in skull, but I pushed the violence down. Mostly. As he arched back to throw a punch at the well-meaning Zevlor, I quickly jabbed out with the hilt of my sword. Whack. A sharp strike to the jaw and the man toppled back into the dirt, his eyes glazed before they closed into unconsciousness. No red. And no satisfaction for that strange hunger I felt. But it did shut him up at least.

But where did that horrible urge for violence come from?

Why did it repulse me so and yet feel totally ingrained into me?

Could I escape it?

And the next thing I knew, I was waking to pale light peeling across the sky, with birds chirping nearby. It was morning. I must have fallen asleep.

Lae'zel was by the fire, heating some water. She dipped her head to me, but soon concentrated back on her task. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. Seemed I had managed to sleep through the night at least, that was a win.

"Your face twitches when you sleep. Do you dream of the Nautiloid?" She asked briskly, eyes honed on the water still.

I blinked. No recollection of dreams was available to me, nothing but the sight of the stars above and then the dawn. I shrugged and got myself up, wavering for a moment before shaking away the last shreds of sleep from my mind.

"No idea. Just twitching then? Didn't keep you awake with any muttering or something?"

"If you had, you would have known." She murmured with that telltale 'I'd have smacked you' tone. Fair enough.

"Anyone else awake?"

"Gale reads by his tent I believe, and Karlach went to bathe by the river. Shadowheart, I have no clue, nor do I care. The pale one, Astarion, is still within his tent I think, then again his sneaking ways, he might have gone elsewhere."

"Cheers, think I'll go follow Karlach's lead. Need anymore water brought back?"

"Additional supplies would be a good idea, yes." Lae'zel handed me a large waterskin and then dipped her head. "It is good to have helpful allies at this time. Your weak body aside, your efforts are appreciated."

"Lighten the load with many hands." I smiled despite the backhanded appreciation and walked away. Lae'Zel was an odd ally. Half the time she was steadfast, the other half, I kept expecting to find a blade in my gut. Then again, I suppose as soon as I or anyone else showed signs of transforming, we would. She wouldn't take the chance. It came as a comfort and threat in equal measure.

I headed towards the faint sound of singing, which of course only got louder the closer I came to the water. I knew Karlach wasn't shy of course, and she had absolutely no reason to be so, but bloody hell. My feet stalled at the corner and heat flushed my face. Karlach was stood in a small-ish pool of water where the river water seemed to collect before carrying on, wearing only a smile as she braided her sopping wet hair as it tumbled over one of her broad shoulders. Her red skin practically glowed in the dawn light, and her dark horns gleamed. What a sight.

"Morning, Soldier!" She cooed, breaking her melody to give a wave and splash of the water. "Small advantage I guess to this damned engine runnin' so hot, you can have a hot bath if ya fancy. Plenty to share!"

"Uh… right…" If I was inclined, which unfortunately I wasn't, I'd be hard-pressed not to be drooling no doubt. Karlach was stunning. As it was, I was simply made to appreciate her beauty, and know my undeniable inadequacy next to that.

She laughed boisterously as always, beckoning me closer. "C'mon don't be shy!"

"No use being bashful, I guess." I set my towel down by hers and started unlacing my trousers.

"Bashful?" She cackled, throwing her head back, water beading off the end of her still intact horn. "The hells would you have to be bashful about? You're bloomin' gorgeous, you are. Don't go telling me you've got confidence issues. Who the hells has got time for that nonsense?"

"You're kind." I laughed breathlessly, shrugging off my trousers and then tugging off my loose black shirt. I needed to find some better clothes. Next I rid myself of my undergarments and dipped a toe into the water, it was perfectly heated. Advantage indeed."You really don't mind?"

"Happy to have the company. And I'm sure the birds wouldn't mind me shutting up too."

"Oh fuck that, sing all you like." I snorted, climbing in and sighing as the water soothed an ache that had been brewing at the back of my hip from the crash. "Obviously I don't mean this beyond the current moment of bliss, but that engine of yours has one silver lining."

"Might as well enjoy them, eh?" She perched on a rock across from me, the water getting a bit warmer as more of her was submerged. She was as amazing as she was worrying. No way that engine was good for her. "How'd you sleep? Seemed like some intense dreams going on in that head of yours."

"Lae'zel said the same thing." I started running my hands along my arms to knead the grime away. Karlach passed over some soap, she must have grabbed it from a crate somewhere. "I don't remember dreaming a damn thing though. So weird."

"Guess all our minds are going to be a bit scrambled for a while." She let her head hang back on the embankment and she sighed. "Didn't mean to pry, sorry."

"No, no," I hummed, dipping my head for a moment before kneading at my scalp with soapy fingers. ""You're not. Just wish I knew what the hell had made me so twitchy and stuff. Be nice to know anything at all, really."

"Hm? What's that mean?"

"Oh, uh… Yeah, guess I never told you when you joined us. I don't really uh, well that is my heads a bit… I don't remember much since before the crash, before the Nautiloid at all, really."

"Shit." Karlach sat up and gave me such a sincere look of sympathy I found myself stuck in that gaze entirely. How did she do that? So open and caring. "Kinda sounds like a blessing from where I'm sitting, but that's only because it feels like I've got something worth forgetting. You really don't know anything from before that? What about your name? How'd you know that?"

I looked down, picking some dirt from under my nails. "I kind of figured that out with Astarion, well, I say figured out, what I mean is I made it up."

"Oh." She glanced back towards the tents. "So how'd you come up with Amne?"

"He called me an amnesiac elf and I sort of went with it."

She pursed her lips, she did her best, but she still ended up laughing very, very loudly. "Sorry! But that's kinda bloody adorable."

"It is?" I splashed water at her and shook my head. "How'd you come to that conclusion."

"Oh just explains a couple of things. Was he the one that found you in the wreckage, then?"

"Found… Threatened… Same thing, right?" I smirked and she tilted her head, so I filled her in on how my few days of recollection had started. And as always, her bright eyes were gleaming with intrigue. I'd never known someone so enthralled by the world – alright, I didn't remember knowing someone, but you know what I mean – and her enthusiasm was infectious.

She looked to camp again. "So he was ready to cut you to ribbons, huh? Interesting."

"Not all that surprising, is it? His demeanour otherwise isn't exactly cuddles and sunshine."

"Suppose not, but I'd wondered why he kept giving you this… look."

"He gives everyone a look." I shrugged and she shook her head.

"Nah, more like, pointed or something. Figured he wanted to take you to his tent for some late night shenanigans."

It was my turn to laugh. "That pretty boy being interested in the likes of me? Please. He's far more suited to the nobles of the world, don't you think? Some lady in fine lace, or a gent gilded in gold embroidery."

"Mm, maybe." She snorted. "Maybe the looks he's giving you are just bruised pride. He got something wrong and doesn't like that you know it… Or that you got the best of him."

"I doubt I've entered his thoughts much at all, to be honest."

"Dunno that I can agree with that, Soldier." Karlach stood and cracked her back before clambering out of the pool. She shook herself down, rung out her hair and then grabbed her towel to dry off. "You clearly got a skewed look on yourself."

"My turn. What's that mean?"

"You're very easy to get stuck in someone's thoughts, let's put it that way." She winked and started hauling on her gear. "But hey, if you're not ready to see that kinda thing yet, I get it, I do. Though on top of that, that pale boy also seems like the type to be uppity for the sake of it, getting all defensive when he's spooked, y'know?"

"Karlach, you've known us barely a day, how–"

"I'm good at reading people, trust me." She grinned and then finished her buckles, walking round to my side of the pool, nodding to my towel. "Need that a bit closer?"

"Please." I took from her and watched her head back to camp, her words ringing in my ears as she went. Was she right? I looked down at myself, seeing someone a bit scrawny, a bit pale, littered in scarring and a few too many bruises. Hardly a sight for drooling over. Then again, Karlach had no reason to lie. She was just kind, and there was nothing wrong with that. In fact, it was probably something the world needed more of.

I finished my bath, dried myself before dressing and collecting fresh water from upstream. The birds had taken advantage of Karlach's lack of singing, their own tune carrying on the crisp breeze of the morning instead. It looked like a good day was ahead of us. Clear skies and–

"Careful you don't fall in."

"Gah!"

I flailed, a hand gripped my wrist and hauled me safely back onto both feet on the embankment, dragging my eyes to meet his ruby ones. Of course. It couldn't just be Gale seeing me flail around the place, it had to be Astarion and his judging eyes. Late night shenanigans indeed, Karlach.

Tugging my arm free, I gave him a shove. "I realise it's useful in a scuffle but do you have to sneak up on everyone all the time?"

He smirked, the shove having done very little. "Apologies, bad habit. Need any help with the water? Or were you fancying another early morning dip?" His brow raised suggestively.

"Creeping on us, are you?"

"Hardly, dear, creeping suggests there's something to hide, and you certainly didn't seem to." He winked and walked away, whistling to himself. I resisted the temptation of flinging a nearby pebble at him. But then Karlach's suggestion popped up in my mind again and I blushed. I had bigger things to be worrying about that someone finding me attractive, and yet, my mind wondered.

I guess it made sense of some level, wrangling huge possibilities and odds, we were drawn to something tangible. Something knowable. That didn't make it true. And it certainly didn't make it worthwhile worrying over. Astarion was a useful ally. I didn't need to read into things any further than that. Not at the moment, anyway.

Cheers, cya next time!