Chapter 53

Gaara (approximate time: 11:00 AM)

The metal corridor door opened with a clank. And then he walked into the corridor, the small area between there and the cage that held Katiya. Stopping where the barred gate was, just in view of her while the guard who shut the metal door remained outside, not wanting to stay with a Jinchuriki and a prisoner.

"I am sorry I did not come sooner. I was… preoccupied," Gaara told her.

She responded without looking, leaning against the metal cot frame from where she was on the floor. Her voice distant, "That's alright," she replied.

"The Council… wanted to interrogate you. Kankuro and I… we managed to buy some time."

Katiya blinked. It went silent, Gaara not knowing what to say… feeling like he wanted to say more… and Katiya… not saying… anything.

"Why?" she asked eventually.

Something caught in Gaara's throat—the same sensation of wrongness he got from Shukaku a few days ago—came back. The question was why they would want to buy time for her—not why—the Council… wanted to interrogate her. He gripped his stomach. Her eyes were blank. He sensed there was something wrong with her chakra but he couldn't put his finger on it. Shukaku, interpreting the wrongness in his own way, churned in Gaara's discomfort.

Some of us might have even been able to recognize—there was something different in her tone of voice.

"Because we are friends, Katiya. Friends do not want to see friends harmed," Gaara tried, remembering Rock Lee and Naruto and—

"They end up harming each other in the end all the same. I wouldn't have minded," she replied. The same blank…

"'FriEnDs'... yoU triEd to kiLL me…"

Gaara wanted to refute her—that no, friends—friends didn't have to hurt each other, that they didn't end up always hurting each other… but he couldn't. He… had tried to kill her. And even Naruto, who he considered himself to be friends with… "I won't let anyone hurt them… Even if I have to kill you!"

But what about the people you weren't yet friends with?

"I wouLDn'T… MinD…"

iT meANs yoU caN kill her.

(LoVe TaKes SacriFiCe), Gaara—Shukaku—sensed from her chakra. Shukaku… (AnD i NeveR SacRifiCeD anYThiNG foR yoU), Shukaku decided Katiya's chakra said.

KiLL hER…

ShE NeVER LovED YoU. NO oNE EvER LovED YOU. sO kiLL, KiLL, K—Gaara put a hand on her cell bars in anguish, his eyes locked to the floor. If Katiya noticed, she said nothing. HYYYAAAGGGH! KiLL HER anD TaKE HeR L—After a moment of silence between he and she, he ambled out, bracing an arm on her cell bars to steady himself as he walked.

Kankuro (approximate time: 11:00 AM)

The last two—three—times he had interacted with the Council—been to the Council chamber—the meetings had only been perfunctory. The botched meeting that got sidelined to aid Konoha, then the meeting that was their reparation, and then the meeting before then… the one that was their congratulations and apology for the Chunin Exams. The one after the funeral of the fourth Lord Kazekage. The one that was… his father's, his and Temari's and Gaara's. Kankuro rubbed his face tiredly, conflicted. Gaara hadn't gone to the funeral then. Knowing it was for show and that his appearance would not have gone over well.

Had the Council interpreted that as apathy? Or would it be just another excuse? Like every other justification before then—for hating a person of their own making?

If he—Kankuro—were to go to the Puppeteer Corp, he knew they would listen. As they always had for him. But his shishou would have still been locked up in a Council meeting and he wasn't entirely sure the rest understood—why he cared for Gaara now when they as a collective lost so many as a result of him.

With a shake of his head, Kankuro went to find his sister.

Katiya (approximate time: - - - - -)

"The Council wanted to torture you," she mentally translated one of Gaara's statements to mean.

It was funny… she had never expected otherwise and instead it looked like Gaara was the one being tortured. She saw it. How much it hurt Gaara to even look at her. How he was struggling with a part of himself for her sake. She banged the side of her head—lightly—against the rounded metal edge of her cot. The cot made of solid metal bars and bolted to the ground, the action did not damage it.

I told you friends end up hurting each other anyways.

She had been there before, struggling with herself. Her loneliness, her "Curse of Hatred", and the chakra imbalance that must have come with it back when she was younger. But she had joined Oto and now embraced it. He, on the other hand, was born a monster and was trying so hard to be human thinking it was better, having never been one. But he didn't know… how hard it was and how much it hurt. Not like she did.

It had been her choice to become who she was. She, having tried both and deciding it wasn't worth it. It had been her choice to be who she was. As was her choice to go with him to Sunagakure.

She saw now how much of a mistake it was.

Gaara (approximate time: 2:30 PM)

It was too close—to what Yashamaru—Shukaku—had said—the last time—the day Yashamaru…

NO oNE EvER LovED YOU. sO kiLL, KiLL, K—Gaara walked out towards the border wall, as he usually did when it got bad—LoVE oNLy YoUrsELf. FiGHt OnLY fOr y—there was the usual chatter from the border guards but they had gotten used to his travels outwards—though the time of day might have been new to them—A CurSE on THis ViLLagE—BoRN oUT of HaTrEd—YoUr VeRY MoTHeR HaTEd—

—No, no, no, no—he thought to himself, trying to talk back to Shukaku. Sand was buzzing agitatedly around Gaara, but with everyone distant from him at that moment, he knew it wouldn't h—HaRM—EveRyOnE HatES EvERy—anyone. Harm anyone. One step in front of the other.

He remembered—eating with—playing with—glob dancing with—they had shared the experiences. People who hated each other wouldn't have done that. Not for a full year. Every day. Every day for a full year.

"... Can't hear or see or feel what you feel…"

But how many years had it been since they saw each other last? ToO LOnG—shE's ForGotTeN aBouT yoU. Every day, he heard what Shukaku had to say in his mind. But it doEsn'T MaTtER—in ThE enD—he, alone with Shukaku—EvErYonE's ALonE in ThE eND. How many years had it been since she started being alone? Just her and her thoughts, Orochimaru's words. Alone within a crowd, not knowing who to trust.

I was alone then—after—Uncle Yashamaru…

Shukaku helped him—when he was young—sensing and seeing things that he could not—made him feel—sAfE—by telling him—he was built to be aLOnE. Not knowing who else to trust besides Shukaku. And Shukaku being there with him when no one else was. And because he was alone with nO oNE ELsE To HeLp him realize otherwise, he clung to Shukaku. Because it was all that he knew and at that point, he had rather stayed with the demon he knew than risk finding worse demons elsewhere.

Gaara stopped on the border threshold, facing the field of sand just outside Suna.

He knew what it was like for her.

When Kankuro went looking for him—the day he started trying to repair his Uncle Yashamaru's place—and began wanting to make amends—after Naruto helped him realize, he—Gaara—had told Kankuro as much; what the loneliness could do and what it had done.

Gaara clenched his hands and then relaxed them, feeling his sand around him and feeling it as it floated to the ground. After a moment like that, Gaara turned around to walk back into Suna.

"After Shukaku's rampage happened, a lot of people got together… to grieve and… and my shishou told me something that day. 'Everything comes to an end. So we tie ourselves together so the end isn't lonely.' Sharing grief… It doesn't hurt so much."

Kankuro (approximate time: 3:00 PM)

"Hey Temari," Kankuro waved dully as she left the Academy, having waited for her a shy ten minutes or so. With missions still going back to them rather threadily, she had retaken her position as an Academy tutor and classroom assistant.

"Hey… Kankuro?" Temari responded hesitantly. "Everything alright with Gaara?"

"Hah. Yeah, Gaara's fine," Kankuro said blithely. "The Council's the one that's the bother this time."

"Ah."

"... Why I kind of need your head to think," Kankuro told her. "Your place?" he asked.

"Sure."

Temari (approximate time: 3:20 PM)

"So. What's up?" Temari asked as Kankuro settled on a chair.

Kankuro let out a breath. "A lot," he told her before relaying what had been on his mind since Senior Erusa had spoken to him. The details he learned and then confirmed from Gaara… though he didn't bring up Senior Erusa herself yet, thinking out the true details from what happened that day was already… a lot.

"—So Uncle Yashamaru was the one who—!?!" Temari exclaimed by the end of it only to cut herself off. No, no. It can't be—it—

"Gaara… told me first. And then I checked… it wasn't—Father was the one to order the assassination—and I suspect… at the Council's request. Or at least. Their… indirect pushing."

"But why? What did they expect from—?!"

"If it were to fail, Gaara was supposed to become their… puppet. More completely. I think Uncle Yashamaru might've tried to botch it up for Gaara's sake—but we don't know… and… records run out after that."

"Is this what you got from the Council?" Temari asked, the shock still in her eyes even though the rest of her hadn't seemed moved.

Kankuro rubbed his forehead. "Mostly from my shishou and a bit of what I put together myself, but yeah," he told her.

"Is this… why… ?"

"Yeah."

… The reason why…

"I'm going to go check in with my shishou now… I just… He had a Council meeting… See you around, Temari, yeah?"

Why Kankuro had such a change in how he saw Gaara.

"Yeah," Temari breathed as Kankuro left sedately.

Kankuro (approximate time: 4:00 PM)

He didn't know who to blame—was it—his—? He walked back to the Puppeteer Corp headquarters along the streets dotted with civilians and off-duty shinobi. He had thought it was his fault. When he followed what was supposed to be protocol, when the protocol got people killed and some of his friends were some of them.

Senior Councilor Erusa's story, he supposed did its job—bringing back the thoughts Kankuro had thought settled—working with Gaara. He didn't know who to blame then—himself, Gaara—his father—or his senpai—back when Suna's treasonous informant ring was exposed. He had been the messenger, Gaara the executioner, his father the judge, and his senpai the accused.

"Do we have the results of the full autopsy yet?" Kankuro asked. While the funeral for his father happened some time ago, the processing for the coroner's report took more time than that.

Kankuro's shishou—Takeo—gave Kankuro a look.

It had been one of the few days he had worn white, Kankuro. The only other time perhaps being during his mother's time. It was different though—his mother buried simply per and with her faith despite being a shinobi—his father buried otherwise, in shinobi decorum. Separate burial places, as was her wish to be close to the civilians she served and whose faith she embraced because of them. He, out of respect for her and his penchant for agnosticism from his upbringing.

"We can go check together," Takeo told his student. As if sensing something heavy weighing on his student's mind.

Katiya (a—ti m e: ha. X)

"What do you think, Kabuto," she asked in her memory, flicking through one of Oto's brochures. It was after she stopped being concerned about the blood she left behind in the fight rooms. "Should I get fangs or one of the sonic blast enhancements? Those sonic arm mods seem like they're all the rage right now."

In reality, she was still in her cell, trying to get her cuffs off. She had stayed in Suna for too long and her thumb was a nuisance to her escape. She gripped the cuff of her left hand with her right and tugged on it until it met the knuckle of left thumb. Her thumb was too big. And she had been stripped of her equipment. Pulling the cuff towards her elbow and then ramming it into her thumb, some of the skin getting in the way…

"The blast enhancements don't do me any good if I'm ever put in chakra suppression cuffs, but at least disarmament would be out of the question," she had said. There was a pause as Kabuto seemed to think. She supposed the thought of literal disarmament was a possibility though, with a sonic enhancement being put in the arm.

She pulled the cuff towards her elbow and then rammed it into her thumb. It edged up slightly—but it wasn't the skin that was in the way—it was the bone of the knuckle. The cuff began to draw blood.

She'd have to bite the thumb off at the rate she was going.

In a memory, Kabuto came up behind her, looking over the surgical enhancement brochure she was looking at and then looking her over. She had been wearing her balaclava, as usual so it wasn't like he could see her rather normal-looking teeth though. Kabuto took the brochure from her to look over.

"I think you look fine as you are," he had ended up deciding, his voice strangely sad in her memory—somehow. Something about Kabuto's response then—she ended up conceding—agreeing—

—Now only wishing she hadn't. Fangs would have been so useful.

Kankuro (approximate time: 4:30 PM)

"I'm sorry, Lord Kankuro. We're still waiting on a few lab reports to come through. Maybe another two to four weeks, and it'll be done. We've already fast-tracked the processing though. High-profile as your father's case is," the coroner's office said.

"Yeah," Kankuro would end up whispering to himself before leaving. It was strange to him—to hear himself referred to as a lord—if anything, his father's assassination death as the ill-favored Lord Kazekage that he was, making the title all the more discomfiting. Noble in blood. The rather narrow list of possibilities the inheritor would be with the title of Lord Kazekage being hereditary, unlike Konoha's title of Lord Hokage despite them being the same positions. No more noble than anyone else in thought.

Kankuro's shishou bowed his head to the coroner before following Kankuro out. Kankuro, trudging.

"You want to talk about it, punk?" Senior Puppeteer Takeo asked when they were far enough from local earshot.

"Don't let the loss of one end up becoming the loss of another…" Lady Chiyo echoed in Kankuro's mind. "I don't know what's there to talk about, shishou," Kankuro replied. "It's just the Council being the Council as usual, really…"

"Don't make it any less bothersome. They pull you aside to talk about your father's death?" It was a plausible train of thought given his student's interest in the autopsy report of his.

"No… not my father's… It was… Senior Erusa," Kankuro started before beginning to relay the story the council member had told him. Senior Erusa's… reminder.

Passing blame was easy. Kankuro remembered his father. Too easy. When his father quietly decided he, Kankuro, was of age to begin training—some time after his mother passed, he felt so alone. His father phrased it as the norm, the training. But not many were trained by the Lord Kazekage, his style of training. When Kankuro felt otherwise—that it should have been otherwise—that otherwise was right and his father's "right" was wrong—it was just too easy for him to pass blame. To blame the self.

It hadn't been Gaara's fault, their mother's death, nor his struggle with Shukaku despite it having been phrased otherwise.

Blaming the self, Kankuro slowly thought he should have strived to escape himself. Permanently. He realized that for Gaara, it was just directed outwards rather than in, striving to escape others. He didn't want Gaara to be alone then, having realized. Because it had taken him squadrons of people to realize. It was the Puppeteer Corp that had been there for him. Why he had joined them. And now as a full-fledged member of their ranks, he wanted to be able to do the same for Gaara.

Hearing his story, Kankuro's shishou looked to him understandingly. Monsters were only monsters in comparison to humanity. And worse monsters were made by humanity. Humanity, not always understanding more death wouldn't bring the dead to life.

Gaara (approximate time: 4:30 PM)

Gaara picked up the pace heading inwards to Suna, feeling the last words of Kankuro's statement—about sharing grief… being healing—echoing in his mind. As he headed closer and closer back to the center of Suna—where the Kazekage compound was—Gaara began feeling more and more uneasy again.

Shukaku was churning in the nonphysical, the sealed cave of Gaara's chakra network. And something in Gaara's chakra was telling him... something was wrong.