A/N: Hey guys! Welcome back! This chapter is pretty long, but it covers a lot of important things! I hope that everything makes sense! If you have any questions or comments, feel free to review!
"You know," Sirius started at last, "I was a bit unsure of where I should start with you." He looked at Harry.
"I could start out by explaining everything to you, or I could start out by telling you something about myself so that we can get to know each other better. I thought I would leave the choice up to you."
Harry thought about it for a moment.
"Will you be around the house in the future?"
"Yeah, I sleep there right now. Even if I have to go away for a while, I will come back eventually."
"Okay then," Harry said. "I can always get to know you later. I want you to explain everything to me. I mean it. I want everything; don't leave anything out. If you do hold something back and I find out, then I will plant some flowers by your grave because I think Draco would kill you." Sirius laughed at that.
"I won't leave anything out, I promise. You know, you sound just like your mother."
"You knew my mum?" Harry couldn't keep his eyes from lighting up. He had never heard much about his mother before.
"Yeah, I knew her well. She was one of the best women I ever met. She had a brilliant smile. It could light up the whole room, and her laugh was completely contagious." Sirius sighed, lost in old memories.
Then he looked up again. "I'm sorry, it seems we have already gotten off topic. There will be plenty of time for that stuff later. I said to tell you the truth, the whole story. Before I do that, though, I think that you should tell me what you think happened. What did Voldemort tell you?"
"Okay," Harry agreed. "He told me that when I was younger, The Order of the Phoenix was after my parents and me. As they attacked the house, my father sent out a message to Voldemort, asking for help. Voldemort hurried over but was too late. By the time he arrived, my parents were dead. The Order had me surrounded, and Voldemort was able to blast his way through them, saving me and then hiding me. Bellatrix Lestrange took care of me mostly, but Voldemort acted as my mentor.
"I would get trained daily and never be allowed to go anywhere with my face uncovered. I was told that if I did, then The Order would find me and kill me. I trained endlessly, originally wanting to avenge my parents, then just seeking the Dark Lord's approval. I learned everything I was taught from him, Bellatrix, Narcissa, and a few others.
"When I would have went to school, I trained, always learning, always improving, always pushing myself to become better, stronger, more powerful. I trained up until the day we attacked here, and then everything happened, and, as you know, my final encounter with him changed everything." Harry lapsed into silence, and Sirius considered him carefully.
"Okay," Sirius said slowly, "I'll tell you what actually happened now; all I ask of you is to keep an open mind. I get it can be hard to just forget everything you have been taught, but it will be easier for you if you try."
"Sure," Harry replied quickly.
Now, finally, after years of being lied to, he would get the full story. He might actually get the truth for the first time in his life. Sirius took a deep breath and began.
"No one knows exactly why Voldemort went after you and your parents. I have suspected for a long time that Dumbledore knows the real reason, but you would have to ask him. Either way, he did. At first, you were protected because a FideliusCharm was placed on your house; however, Lily and James put their trust in the wrong person. Do you know how the Fidelius Charm works?" Harry nodded, and Sirius continued.
"I was originally going to be their secret keeper; however, I thought Voldemort would surely come after me. I was your dad's best mate, after all—"
"Wait, you were?" Harry asked, shocked.
"Yes, you didn't know? I told you I went to live in his house when I left mine."
"True, but I guess I didn't realize the two of you were so close."
"Yeah," Sirius smiled. "We were best friends. We met on the school train, and we were inseparable for the other seven years." Harry nodded, and Sirius continued on with his story.
"So, instead of me being their secret keeper, they placed their trust in another old school friend named Peter Pettigrew."
"Pettigrew?" Harry interrupted sharply, making Sirius jump.
"Yes, Peter Pettigrew, why?"
"That lying, cowardly…!" Words seemed to fail Harry in his sudden anger.
"I take it you know him?"
"Of course I know him! I know them all! How dare he! All those times we talked… well, I more of told him what to do, but still! All those times he looked me in the eye! I'll kill him!"
"Harry, calm down."
"That stupid excuse for a man!" Harry said fiercely, "I'll get him for this! He won't be living much longer!"
"Harry, stop it!"
Harry glanced up at Sirius and immediately felt ashamed. The look in Sirius' eyes was fearful, and Harry guessed that his face must look terrible. He looked up to the sky and took a deep breath.
"I apologize," Harry said, his voice forced to be calm. "For losing my temper, not for my words. I will kill him if I get the chance."
"I plan to as well," Sirius said. "But anger isn't going to do anything right now."
"I know. Like I said, I'm sorry. Please continue?" Sirius paused for a moment and began to speak again.
"Peter was a small boy who used to tag along with us when we were in school. He liked to hang around with people who were more powerful than he was. We didn't know he had been passing information along to Voldemort for years before this. By the time we found out he was the traitor, it was too late. They were already gone." Sirius stopped at this and collected himself.
"I wanted to go after the little sneak immediately; however, I couldn't. There was something more important to do. It was to find the Potter's son, whom Voldemort had taken.It was not until one of our spies saw you at your first meeting that we knew you were alive."
"But that wasn't until I was at least two years old, maybe three," Harry said.
Sirius sighed. "We thought you were dead. After we knew you were alive, we made countless attempts to get to you, but none of them succeeded. You never went out of the house, and we barely knew where it was. Eventually, we just wrote you off, thinking that you weren't a threat. Our spies told us a while ago that you had started going out on missions for Voldemort, but he said that they were always private, and he didn't even know about them until you didn't show up for a meeting."
Harry chuckled.
"What is it?" Sirius asked, surprised.
"I often led missions or attended meetings under a false identity. I would also just skip meetings sometimes. No one except the Dark Lord ever knew where I really was. I led tons of missions without anyone knowing it was me." Sirius snorted.
"That is obviously smart because we had no clue about any of that. We never thought you were a threat until recently, that is."
"By recently I assume you mean a few days ago?" Harry asked.
"Pretty much," Sirius said.
"I'm surprised that Dumbledore didn't do more," Harry said.
"What do you mean?" Sirius asked.
"Not about me," Harry said quickly, "About the Dark Lord as a whole. He has never really made much of an effort to track him down."
"The thing is, Voldemort quieted down for years after attacking your house. No one ever knew why, but now we all assume that he was more focused on training you. That, or he just enjoyed the constant state of paranoia that he left the country in.
"Only in the past few years has he really started to make a comeback. He has been expanding his army, making plans, and attacking us. He is tired of waiting. We are having trouble rallying our forces against him; he is too strong, and people are too scared."
"Surely Dumbledore could stop him, though?" Harry asked. "He is the leader of the light side, is he not? Surely he could gather enough people and train them to fight?"
"Yes, he is," Sirius said, "And he probably could rally people, but some have their doubts about him. Some people think he is getting too old, growing weaker as Voldemort grows stronger. What we would need to beat him is someone on the inside who could tell us all of his inner workings. His plans and ideas."
Harry thought about what he had just said. Harry chuckled and shook his head. "I should have known."
"What?" Sirius asked, confused.
"I should have known the real reason you allowed Draco and me to stay. I am so stupid."
"What are you talking about?" Sirius asked.
"You want to use us," Harry said, forcing his voice to stay calm. "You want us to feed you information about Voldemort and be your weapons and nothing more than that." Harry got to his feet, a hatred burning through his veins.
"Harry, wait—" Sirius got to his feet too.
"You know, I actually thought that this might be different, that I would be able to see through it, but I guess I was wrong." Harry shook his head again.
"See through what?" Sirius asked desperately.
"See through the lies and the manipulation. I was stupid." Harry turned on his heels and walked out of the clearing.
"Harry, wait!" Sirius called.
"Leave me alone, Sirius!" Harry said firmly, not looking back. Sirius didn't try to chase him but let him go.
How could he be so stupid? How could he have let his guard down so easily? He should have known that they had other reasons to let him and Draco stay. He should have known that they couldn't be trusted.
Harry did not head back to the house but instead retreated towards the hills. He needed to think. His thoughts spinning around in his head like a tornado. He had known this had been too good to be true.
He just wanted to be able to trust these people, but already they had proven they could never be trusted. They already had an intricate plan worked out of which Harry was merely a pawn. They just needed him to tell them about Voldemort, and they would kick him and Draco out. They might even kill them.
It had been stupid to ever consider the possibility that they might have been able to trust these people. They had already proven what Harry had suspected. It was only his first day!
One second, he was walking, and the next, he was on the ground. He had tripped over a tree stump. He turned over on his back, not bothering to get up.
He looked up into the cheery blue sky, which did not reflect his mood.
So soon after leaving the Dark Lord, and he was already being controlled by another group. Neither actually cared about him.
On the contrary, they wanted to use him. No one cared what happened to him as long as they could get their use out of him first.
He might as well just go back to Voldemort. At least when he was tricked there, he was a prince. Here he was nothing, lower than the dirt which he now lay on. He couldn't go back, though. Not knowing everything he did now.
Plus, the punishment for Draco's return would be death. Harry might be able to scrape by with his life, but that would only be because he was the Dark Lord's apprentice. He could not leave Draco here because he would never be able to fight against him, which was the point of bringing him in the first place.
Harry sighed heavily and closed his eyes. He was tired, tired of being used, tired of being looked at as disposable. He was tired of everything he had to deal with, tired of this mess he had gotten himself into. He was tired of being bossed around by everyone, being told where to go, what to say, what to do.
Most of all, he was tired of holding back his magic. He could feel it inside of him, yearning for a way out, but he had to keep it in. Eventually, he might get his wand back and then be able to do magic, but for now, it was too risky to tell anyone he could do wandless magic. Surely, they would take advantage of that, too.
Harry stood up and walked in a circle. He needed to let out some of his anger. He needed to train like he normally did. He needed to do something!
He looked up and realized that the ground around his feet was smoking. He quickly pointed his finger, and water appeared, extinguishing the fire.
Hatred was still pulsing in his veins, making it hard for him to think of anything besides his conversation with Sirius. He was more mad at himself than at them. He should have known that they were going to take advantage of him. He should have suspected it. But he didn't, and now he was left with the consequences.
He wondered what would happen if he just stopped talking. What would they do if he refused to say anything? Harry smirked, knowing it was a bad idea. He knew that wouldn't work, but if they wanted to use him, then they would pay.
And with that thought, Harry felt the basis of a plan starting to take shape. But he had to talk to Draco about all of this. He had to see what Draco would say.
Harry made sure his magic was under control before walking back down the hill. But as he reached the back door, he stopped. Harry knew that if he entered the house again, he would be saying that he was fine with being used.
He should have expected this. He should have known he would play a part in the war. He had to now. But did he really want to go inside? No, but he had to. He needed to talk with Draco.
Draco always seemed to be the voice of reason. This led him back to the most immediate problem: going inside. He had to get it over with. There was no other choice but to enter into the kitchen. He walked up the steps and opened the door quickly.
A bunch of people were crowded into the small kitchen. Sirius was there; of course, he had to be. Harry's eyes flashed menacingly as they met his. But he quickly turned his face to stone and then smiled. It would be enough to fool them. Lupin was back, Tonks and Moody. There was also an assortment of Weasleys, including Ron, Ginny, and Mr. Weasley. Mrs. Weasley was at the sink washing dishes, but she turned as he walked in.
"Harry, we have been worried. Sit, what do you want to eat?"
"I'm good. Thanks, Mrs. Weasley."
"Nonsense, you have to eat something. You have been out all day. You must be hungry."
"No, I really am fine." Harry could see everyone eyeing him, but he just wanted to get out of the kitchen and return to his and Draco's room.
Lupin raised an eyebrow at him, and anger pulsed through Harry should he have to listen to everything they said? He was 18 years old. They were not the boss of him. He made a quick decision.
Harry got up and walked over to the fruit bowl. He picked out an apple and took a bite out of it. He turned sharply and walked back to the table, his eyes on Lupin's. He placed the apple down in front of him. He raised an eyebrow, challenging him to say something. Lupin didn't move; he just frowned.
Harry smirked and walked out of the kitchen; the apple was left sitting on the table. He had won this time, but he was sure next time he would not. If they wanted to use him for information, then the least he could do was not follow their rules.
He would keep his freedom.
Harry was very glad when he reached the safety of his room. As soon as he closed the door, Draco bombarded him with questions.
"What happened? Where did you go? What did he say?" So Harry explained everything. He told Draco the story of his parent's death, which Draco, too, had been told.
"Then, when he was finished explaining, I asked why Dumbledore couldn't just defeat the Dark— Voldemort. Then he said what they really needed was someone who knew all of their secrets. They just wanted to use us all along."
"I can't say I am surprised." Draco said with a heavy sigh, "Now what do we do though?" Harry hesitated a moment, and then, taking a deep breath, he decided to tell Draco his plan.
"It's risky," Harry said when he finished, "And obviously, I am terrified of what will happen, but if they are going to use me, I would rather it be sooner than later. I would rather this all be done."
"I think you should do it," Draco replied with full seriousness. "It will be dangerous though. It depends on what you really want."
"I want the Dar— Voldemort gone, once and for all. I want revenge for my parents and for the 18 years of my life that I was told lies."
"Do it then," Draco challenged. "I would come with you if you wanted." Harry was grateful for the offer, but this was something he had to do alone.
"Thanks, but I think I should be the one to do it."
"Okay," Draco said, and Harry could tell he was sort of relieved. "When will you tell them?"
"As soon as I can. Maybe wait till tomorrow morning and then request it?"
"That seems like a good idea," Draco agreed, and now they had a plan.
Though Harry would never admit to it, he had his doubts about this plan. If something went wrong, or if they didn't believe him, it was possible they would be left in the hands of one of the most powerful wizards in the world.
Needless to say, Harry didn't sleep much that night. He kept waking up and finally gave up all hope of falling back asleep. He quietly got out of bed, still in the same clothes he had arrived in, and exited the room.
He didn't want to wake Draco, but he didn't want to go downstairs. What if he met Sirius again? What could he say to him? It would just be awkward.
So, instead, Harry sat outside his door in pitch black and waited till morning. He hadn't been sitting there for long when he heard a noise at the end of the hall. Once again, he reached for his wand, only to realize it wasn't there.
He looked up and saw Ginny Weasley looking at him from the opposite end of the hall. She beckoned him over to her, and he had no choice but to make his way silently down the hall and into her room.
It was a small room, but it had a cozy quality about it. A bed was pushed away in a corner, and a small bookshelf and wardrobe were the only other furniture. She had a single window, but it had an amazing view of the woods. Harry stood awkwardly next to the door as she closed it behind him.
"Are you okay?" she asked, but not with concern; it was just a question. He looked at her and saw the same sparkle in her eyes that he had seen right before playing Quidditch. He sighed.
"Yes, I am fine."
"Don't lie," she said rather boldly. "No one who is fine is up at this hour, and they most certainly are not sitting outside their bedroom door."
"Why were you up then?" Harry asked.
"What makes you assume I am fine?" This response took Harry by surprise, and he did not know what to say for a moment.
"Why are you not fine?" He asked eventually.
"In my first year at Hogwarts, I found this diary hidden in my school books. It was like a piece of something, I am not sure what. I got too close to it, and it started to possess me. I would have died if my brother Ron hadn't found out about it and put a stop to it.
"We brought it to Dumbledore, and he got rid of it. He destroyed it using a basilisk fang from a chamber which I had been opening when possessed; bit ironic, really. I get terrible nightmares most nights. It is like I can still hear that voice telling me to do awful things." This story greatly concerned Harry, but not for all the reasons Ginny realized.
"I am very sorry," He said, looking at her. "I get nightmares, too."
"I told you why I am not fine; now it is your turn," she insisted, sitting down on her bed. Harry sat on the floor next to the door. What could he say to her?
"I don't know." Harry sighed.
"Well, it is not too hard to answer." She pushed, and Harry knew she wouldn't stop until she got answers.
"Well, for one thing, I have nightmares, just like you do. I also have far too much going on in my head right now. Another reason is…" He trailed off, but Ginny said, "Yes?" so he had to continue.
"Another is I am worried that the Dark— Voldemort will come to find Draco and me. I also don't know who to trust, and it doesn't help that Draco decided to come along with me because now I am afraid I made him an outcast, and he will be hunted down just as I will surely be. I am starting to think I should have never invited him along.
"I just don't want to put him in danger. He is the only family I have left. Now, thanks to me, no one will ever trust both of us again. That is another problem; you all can never trust me because of how I was raised, but how can I trust you if you all don't trust me to even carry a wand?"
Harry put his hands on the back of his neck and looked up. He had not meant to share so much with her. It felt good to vent, but it was extremely careless of him. Neither of them said anything for a while, and Harry was contemplating leaving when she finally said something.
"I trust you." His eyes snapped to her, those three words making a huge difference.
"Really?" he asked, looking at her, "Why?"
"Because," she answered fiercely, "I know what you are going through. All of my first year in school, I was an outcast. I had no friends, no one to trust but my family. Still, they had their own friends. I was alone. But the thing is, with both of us, there was no reason for it. I could have gone up to someone and started talking to them. It is the same with you and Draco. If you start to be friendlier to people, maybe eat when they ask, then you could stop feeling like an outcast.
"You have to realize that you might be an outcast now because no one trusts you yet, but in order for them to trust you, you have to earn their trust. It is the same for us. We have to earn your trust before you can trust us. Tomorrow, I will ask Lupin to give you your wands back. We have to trust each other, or we will all lose this war."
Harry looked at her for a moment, thinking about what she had just said. It was more than anyone had said to him thus far. It was more helpful than his talk with Sirius had been.
"Thanks, Ginny," Harry said gratefully. "Thanks for trusting me, too, even when no one else does yet."
"Anytime," she replied with a smile, "you should get some sleep. I have a feeling that tomorrow is going to be a very big day." Harry smiled and crept down the hall and back to his bed.
His face fell into a frown; however, when he thought about what Ginny had said. There was something in her story about the diary.
Harry had gotten a peculiar feeling in the pit of his stomach when she had been telling him about it, and now, alone in his room again, he was able to examine the feeling closer. No ordinary diary could have possessed her in such a way; it was simply not possible.
It had to be one of them. Harry could feel it.