The Fat Dong's Rule - (Supernatural Asia, DongZhuo!SI)
Disclaimer: Had this idea months ago - what if SI wakes up in the body of Dong Zhuo the day after he secures Emperor Shao and... Asia (aka mostly China and Japan) is beset by supernatural/magical events? Pure and utter chaos.
189 CE, Han China is in turmoil.
The Taoist-led Yellow Turban Rebellion has tarnished Chinese control from modern-day Beijing down to Nanjing. The military governors had been busy quelling the rebellion, suppressing it as brutally as possible, and making sure that the Han Dynasty under the young Emperor Shao survived for another 'harmonious century'.
I doubt any of them had predicted for a fat man to be sitting on the 'throne'.
Well, not entirely sitting as my new heavy weight would probably crush any form of chair, may them be made by thin material or reinforced one. If these details had not defined who is talking, then let me a bit more blunt on the matter: I am fat, I am wicked, I am Dong Zhuo.
And yet not.
Despite my ever-present malicious grin, my over-portly size, and my overall inner panic on waking up as the fat bastard of China himself, I was still not the OG Dong Zhou.
I was someone that came from the future and had now to deal with two realities: 1) Dong Zhuo's past deeds (which weren't entirely bad ignoring the fact he had a big harem around) and 2) becoming the new regent of Han China.
Or what could be defined as such nowadays as the Yellow Turban Rebellion had broken the fair distribution of the regions. The legendary figures that would wage war on each other during the Romance of the Three Kingdoms were mostly all there, already owning land.
The thing is, however, that none gave a flying crap to the fact that a fat man of my relative size had just couped the country and had become a regent. And, as surprising as this sounded, the truth is that this is very normal.
The OG Dong Zhuo sparked the Romance because he was a fucking tyrant, something that I had no plans to mimic in this run of my new, more horrible life. And there is also the fact that I had a good reason to not just pick a random horse, a life-worth amount of food and just bailed from that position: I had a vision before waking up in that ugly spot.
And it goes as: If you prevent the Romance and survive for five years, you shall be made immortal - immune to dying of age and sickness, but still mortal to blade and other means of inflicting death among the lesser ones.
So yes, I had taken the job because I felt greedy. I literally got stuck in a 50 something fat fuck that, despite his unusually chivalrious deeds mixed with several relatively common cases of barbaries, was on the verge of making or breaking the Han Empire.
I either died a Coward, or tried to live eternally in a part of history that pretty much allowed me to shape the destiny of the world as a whole. It wasn't going to be an easy path but... fuck, the rewards were worthwhile.
The first week at Luoyang was simple: 1) Kill the Eunuchs, 2) Limit Emperor Shao and prepare to have him replaced if he pulls a Joffrey Baratheon; 3) Try to assert dominance over a loyal Han army in the south that was willing to save my ass if the Northern Governors try to grill my fat butt.
It didn't help that Lu Bu was built different and pretty much provided me with his mere appearance a single realization: this world is not 'average' as the one I left - it had to have some sort of supernatural shit because... fucking hell, this Lu Bu looked like his Fate Berserker version, but saner.
Does that mean that Cao Cao is fucking Lord El-Melloi II or someone like that?
I wasn't fully sure what was the reality of things as I sat my ass in the Han Capital of Luoyang, got a lot of paperwork delivered to me, and I started to create a viable network of assistants through... My harem. Women ranging from the age of twenty up to thirty, all of which had been 'touched' by my older self and that were surprised when I gave them a new deal.
"I will not do anything untowards in your regard if you assist me in doing paperwork."
Surprisingly enough, only about sixty percent of the group was interested in no longer dealing with my 'sexual depravity'. A non-negligible minority actually sought to 'keep warming my bed'. And while that made no sense appearance-wise, taking a bath and seeing what was below my belly actually explained things.
I had just a feeling that, while some of those women may have not stuck around out of loyalty, a lot of them definitely were after Dong's Dong.
The more time passed, the more I realized I was legitimately the Fat Bastard of China.
Still, I had my own group of loyal secretaries assisting me in surviving the insane paperwork we were dealing with. Investigations had to be ordered, funds had to be reorganized, and corrupt officers were removed as the Eunuchs had a field day fucking up Han China for years now.
The Yellow Turban Rebellion was still ongoing, so, as a move to 'show my gratitude' to those still facing this threat, I had offered a temporary tax cut for those warlords that were in the frontline and had seen their land damaged.
A month in, and I could say that the gesture was met with a degree of appreciation. Not enough to conquer their loyalty, but enough to paint the early stage of my regency as a sane time for recovery. And, in between the paperwork and the military drilling I had Lu Bu put the troops in Luoyang through, I also saw fit to do some physical training myself.
Without the promise of immortality, this would amount to nothing. But I had the chance to get in a better shape. Full slim? Doubtful. But I definitely was going to turn into a fucking wrestler if I got my mind into it. And my body to work as I wanted through the exercises.
I had done some abysmal progress, but I at least got to new milestones when I managed to convince the female servants to stop 'assisting me' bathing. As much as that sounded interesting to entertain, I really didn't need a sudden swelling of the harem kind. I hadn't even thought of fucking any and limited sexual interactions to merely groping when they asked for 'help'.
So, it's been a while since I had some lonely but pleasant baths to shed the sweat off my body and get myself in a better shape to deal the rest of the workday. And that normal habit perished when, one day, a woman decided to join me in the bath while I was finished rinsing my hair.
Usually I would order the servants to leave, but this one wasn't one. In fact, she could probably have me removed if she had some more loyalists to her powerbase.
Dark hair, sharp brown eyes, and a trimmed bush between her legs. Empress He was someone that I had first seen in her Imperial garb when I 'rescued' her and her son, and... even now, without that regal outfit, she held a degree of authority. And yet she had none in terms of official power.
With the death of her influential brother He Jin in an attempted purge of the Eunuchs, the Empress was not legally empowered to rule as a regent. And her sons were... too young and too unprepared. Emperor Shao was frivolous and I had to personally curb his spending habit, while his younger half-brother was... well, even younger and even more naive.
So, I didn't plan to give power to either of those two, a decision that I knew the woman was well aware of as she decided to try and seduce me.
"Dong Zhuo."
"Empress He."
She bowed her head, "I am sorry for intruding."
"You're not," I admitted, the woman holding a sense of beauty as she swayed her hips while approaching. "Alas, I need to ask you what is the purpose of your visit?"
"I sought a bath. And, perhaps, companionship."
"For a price, I suppose."
She tensed up, standing right in front of me while I stood up in return. I was talled than her and also wider. I was physically more threatening, which was evident from her growing unease.
"Empress He, do be honest. You seek to seduce me, don't you?"
"...I am a mother."
"And your son will not die because he is not going to touch anything that could warrant his death," I assured, but that wasn't the issue.
"My son is the Emperor. My husband decided so."
"Our country has seen legitimacy wrecked by random factors, Empress. So many times a random event turned things from certain to uncertain. Today, no one wants your young child to be atop that throne, to be guided by someone that has limited expertise in handling matters of the realm."
She didn't answer at first, but her pride kept her from being outright silent on the topic. "He is still the Emperor."
"Something that may change by his resignation, which I am sure he will do without any threat."
"...How?" The Empress appeared confused and I sighed.
"Your son is quick to distract and hardly wanting the burdens of a large bureaucratic mess. He will prefer an easier life as a noble. Still relevant, but away from decisions that could shape the lives of many, and yet condemn his at any potential turn. He will live happily and his children will never worry about hunger and pain."
...
"Still, this is not the only reason, is it?"
My question was drawn by the overall development I saw on her bodily reaction. She was blushing, the overall point of her 'sacrifice' not moot, but her body wanted to go on with what she had planned.
"T-That's not..." The Empress shuddered as she felt my erection rubbing right in front of her groin.
"I will give you a choice. You may leave now and I will swear an oath to you that nothing of what was said here will be known to others. Or, I... did your former husband ever shown you how love truly unfolds or he-"
"No," She gulped nervously, looking up and almost standing on her toes to get closer with her lips. "He did not but... why are you asking?"
"Would you like to know?"
She nodded, and a kiss happened. This was the spark needed as she had her hands reach for my shoulder and I slowly welcomed her in a cuddle fuck. Slow, intense, and rather sensual. The woman was tight, her moans were honest, her body was fully surrendered to the pleasure as I pounded her for a solid hour.
By the time we were done 'bathing', she needed my assistance to walk out of the baths. Alas, this would be the beginning of a new habit of ours where we would 'discuss' in the baths from time to time, securing an amiable bond as I ended up getting the Empress in my own Harem and...
Now I had to be bothered in getting her kid some proper non-Imperial education as I intended to keep that promise. Out of care and... because of that swaying ass of hers.
AN
Mimicking the good ol' story of 'The Don in the South', Don Zhuo will be the 'Good Fat Bastard' China needs and gets. Also, as mentioned in the early chapter's disclaimer, Japan will be involved. In due time. And the story will go beyond the Romance era.