Jackson confides in Ben when April starts dating again. (s13)
Ever since April had said that she had started dating again, Jackson felt...confused? frazzled? weirded out? jealous? No, no, definitely not jealous. There was no way he could be jealous.
He couldn't put an exact name on what it was he was feeling, and he hadn't felt so unsure and messed up about his relationship with her since they'd first hooked up in San Francisco. Those days and weeks after, when he'd tried to get her to talk and navigate what those sparks had meant had been a lot to handle.
The thing was, he had no right to feel anything, really. She was single, he had divorced her, and he had been trying to move on, too. But living together, and getting back to a somewhat comfortable level of friendship and co-parenting, meant that feelings he thought he'd buried had started to resurface and he didn't know how to deal with that.
All he could think of was how their situation would change if either of them were successful in the dating game, and it made him feel sick: The thought of her finally moving out, only being able to see Harriet fifty percent of the time (or every other weekend, as she grew older), and dealing with some guy potentially being a step-dad to his daughter? He didn't want that to be his reality, and yet, divorcing her had made it inevitable.
Jackson sighed, staring down at his beer and the glass he'd ordered across from him, only being snapped back to reality by the appearance of Ben. He was grateful to finally have some company and conversation as a welcome distraction.
"You okay man? You look stressed," He commented, taking a seat on the stool opposite him, "Rough day?"
"Just...a lot on my mind," Jackson admitted, taking a swig of his drink. He trusted Ben, but he also wasn't entirely sure that he wanted to talk about April and his situation with anyone.
"Wanna talk about it?"
He contemplated it for a minute, before blurting out, "April's dating again. Well, going on dates - I don't know if any of them have been successful or not. Its...weird."
Ben smirked, holding his glass in hand, "You're jealous. Its cool, man, I get it."
"What? No! I'm not jealous," He retorted with a frown, "I just...it's hard, thinking about what it'll mean in the future. I don't want to be a part-time dad. I had an absent dad."
"Don't you think you're getting ahead of yourself here? Look, just because you've both been on some dates, it doesn't mean anything. She's not about to marry the guy. You've just gotta take each day as it comes, or, if you are jealous, tell her how you feel. She's not a mind-reader."
Jackson blinked, somewhat stunned by the suggestion, "I'm not gonna do that. Even if I was - which I'm not, I have no right. I divorced her."
"Yeah, and like I said, waiting game, remember?"
"Can you knock it off with that? We're not getting back together. We both hurt each other and...it's better this way. For us. For Harriet."
"Uh huh. Like I said before...marriage and relationships are hard as hell, man. I don't think anyone at that hospital would be surprised if you guys did work things out." Ben shrugged nonchalantly, downing his beer and placing his glass back on the table.
All Jackson could do was furrow his brows, wearing his usual angry face that often showed up when he was overthinking something. "Right...can we talk about something else now?"
Ben couldn't help but chuckle, "Sure, man. Whatever you need."