April calls in sick to work for the first time in her life.
She feels guilty for doing it (she feels guilty for a lot of things lately), but she also knows that she simply can't be around Jackson. Not today.
It's embarrassing, she thinks, that she just wants to spend the day rotting away in her apartment, eating copious amounts of ice cream and watching cheesy romantic comedies. Anything to try to combat how horrible she feels.
They weren't even together - not really, and yet it feels so much like a real break up. The kind of heavy break up that most of her peers probably went through in high school or college, whilst she was busy being Duckie. The kind that Taylor Swift writes some of her most depressing songs about. The kind that changes you in both good and bad ways.
How had she managed to go from casual sex, to Jackson telling her he had real feelings, to a pregnancy scare, a proposal and a break up, all in the space of 72 hours?
The thought just makes her want to cry, because it had finally started to feel real - like they could actually go on dates and maybe, at some point have the huge wedding and the house and the kids, and it would be just as magical as she'd always dreamed it would be. Maybe even more so, because it would be with her best friend. Her favourite person.
But she'd messed it all up, somehow. And now, she felt guilty again. Guilty because she was still no longer a virgin. Guilty because she'd thought that maybe that it didn't matter when she was with Jackson - they'd get married at some point, so she still would've lost her virginity to her husband in a way, right? Guilty because she felt this break up was definitely her fault. If only she'd reacted differently, or told him she had feelings for him too, or just communicated...maybe he would've given them more of a chance.
April aggressively stabs her spoon into her tub of Ben & Jerry's, using her free hand to wipe her eyes, before pressing play on The Holiday (if anything could make her feel better, it'd be Jude Law's face, right?)
Maybe things would get better in time - they could at least go back to being friends in some capacity, but for now, she was going to let herself feel it all. She needs that.