AU: Jackson and April are both single at Jo and Alex's wedding, so he tells her how he feels.
"So...when are you gonna tell her?" Arizona asked, noticing the way in which he was staring in awe at their tiny redheaded friend, as she tried her best to fix everything that seemed to be going wrong with Jo & Alex's wedding. It was amazing to see her so alive and in her element once again. There had been numerous times during her recovery period when he'd had to pinch herself that she was really okay - that she was actually there, in front of him, breathing once again. That the flush of colour had eventually returned to her cheeks and the warmth to her skin. Of course, he knew more than anyone as a doctor that medicine was an incredible feat, but it felt bigger than that. Bigger than him or them. He'd prayed and she had actually woken up. It had actually worked, and it had been a lot to wrap his head around.
Jackson snapped out of his daze for a moment, raising an eyebrow, "Hmm?"
"That you still love her?" She continued on, "Come on, it's so obvious. Everyone at the hospital has been making bets on when you guys are finally gonna get back together. What are you waiting for?"
"I...I've been meaning to...I just...I don't know how she feels. I don't want to make things awkward between us when we're finally in a good place," He sighed, "She was always the one fighting for us...I wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't want to take that chance again."
The perky blonde couldn't help but roll her eyes, "Seriously? Look, you didn't hear this from me, mostly because I do not want to get on April's bad side ever again, but...she loves you. I don't think she's ever stopped. A few years ago...she found me in a closet, crying over this patient who died. He was like ninety, but was planning on getting married and spent the day gushing over his soulmate, and it really hit me - you know, that there could be someone else out there. Then April started crying, saying she didn't want to meet her soulmate when she was ninety, because she'd met hers already and he wanted a divorce." She couldn't help but laugh as she remembered it.
Jackson looked slightly shocked for a moment, taking a moment to take in the information. He remembered a conversation he'd had with Lexie years ago, when she'd asked him about the concept of soulmates and whether or not he believed there was only one person for everyone, and he'd flat out disagreed with the idea. But then...then April had dragged him into her hotel room on the night of the boards, and he'd felt his belief system spin on its axis for the first time. He'd found himself imagining life with her before it even felt as though there was one to imagine - impulsively proposing over potential babies and feeling his stomach drop at the thought of her marrying someone else, and telling his mother that she's the one when they'd finally impulsively tied the knot. It had been amazing and infuriating and heartbreaking all at the same time, and yet he wouldn't have changed it - except for maybe the way in which things had ended. That had been the first time he'd felt true regret, and he hadn't felt completely whole since. April was always going to be a part of his life, but he didn't want them to just be co-parents and friends who occasionally got to hang out outside of work. He wanted the whole damn thing again, and a part of him knew that he'd never stopped wanting that. He'd just gotten a little lost amongst the built-up hurt and the resentment.
"Thanks...for telling me," He paused for a moment, figuring it was as good a time as ever to finally tell her how he felt, "Wish me luck."
"Good luck! But you don't need it. I wanna know all of the details before we leave!"
"Hey, can I...drag you away for a sec?" Jackson asked, feeling uncharacteristically nervous, "I know you're kind of busy, but-"
"Sure. I kind of feel like all of this planning went to waste anyway," She chuckled, and he felt his heart sore in his chest at the sound. He wanted to hear that sound every day, for the rest of his life.
Jackson made his way over to one of the chairs that had been set up for the guests, motioning with his head for April to sit next to him. He couldn't help but notice the sight of Arizona and Sofia looking over at them with their thumbs up, causing him to roll his eyes slightly and wish he'd picked somewhere more private.
"You did a really great job with everything, so don't think it went to waste."
"Thanks," She responded sweetly, although frowned in confusion at the somewhat awkward pause that followed, "Is that...what you asked me sit down for?" Another slight chuckle escaped her lips.
"No, uh...no," He let out a huff, rubbing his temple as he tried to compose himself, before taking one of her hands in his slowly and looking at her, "I...I know things are good between us right now. Great, even. Its been nice, spending so much time together...having you and Harriet at my place again whilst you recovered, and I would never want to do anything that could ruin that, but..."
April shifted nervously in her seat as he trailed off, somewhat worried as to what he was going to say. "But...?" She repeated, staring down at their conjoined hands and subconsciously running her thumb in small circles over his skin.
"But...I still love you, April. I think I always have, and always will. And I know...I know I've messed up. I know I hurt you so much by not fighting harder for us and pushing for the divorce, and for not talking things through after Montana...I just...I didn't know how to at the time. I was scared, but I love you. I love you so much...and it shouldn't have taken you almost dying for me to realise that I still want, no, need you."
The redhead blinked, eyes glassy as she tried to process the information. "You...you really mean that? You...want this? Want me?"
"Of course I do. You're my..." He paused for a moment, struggling to think of a word strong enough to represent everything that she'd meant to him over the years. It didn't feel like anything was adequate enough. "I know I've given you no reason to trust me, but I promise, I'll do whatever it takes to make it up to you and make you believe it."
"I want to believe it, Jackson, I do. It's just...so much has happened, and we have Harriet to think about now. We can't just impulsively jump into things because I was in an accident. Maybe our timing has always been off for a reason...maybe we were supposed to be just friends, as much as I don't want to believe that."
"I know that. I'm more than happy to take things slow and do things right this time - for us to actually date and not jump in head-first. I want to do this right, Apes. You deserve that."
April ran her teeth along her lower lip gently, being careful not to bite too hard, "I just...what about everything we fought about? Samuel...Jordan...our beliefs...? Those were big issues for us, and we couldn't work past them. What makes you think we will now?"
"Because...I prayed for you and it worked. You're here, you're alive. I...I get it now. Maybe I don't believe in the same way you do...but I know I believe in something. I'm not saying we're never going to fight or that we won't have to have difficult conversations again, but this feels like a chance at a fresh slate, for both of us."
April nodded slightly, her eyes meeting his. Jackson adjusted himself to pull out a box from his pocket, causing her eyes to widen, "Its not-its not that, although I still have your rings in a drawer somewhere if you want them," He chuckled, flicking it open. "It's...a promise ring. Which kind of feels a bit middle school, but whatever. You said to me once that I'm not someone who makes promises he can't keep...so I thought this would be...I don't know, something. A placeholder, you know, until we're ready."
She felt her heart swell at the meaningful gesture, and looked at the box lovingly, "It's beautiful, Jackson."
"You're beautiful," He stated, looking at her with admiration. He'd told her once before they'd left how great she looked, but it didn't seem enough, "This would just be an accessory."
April couldn't help but blush, and god, had he missed that. She tried the ring on, admiring how it looked on her hand, before looking at him with a smile, "Okay. We can try. I want to try...but we have to communicate. We have to do better, for Harriet's sake."
Jackson nodded, trying hard to bite back the beaming look on his face as he slid the ring box back into his pocket and stood up, practically dragging her up with him. His lips met hers, and she deepened the kiss almost immediately, whilst he worked on picking her up off the ground and spinning her, causing her to squeal.
When her feet finally met the ground again, she could hear Arizona and Sofia celebrating, causing her to giggle.
"Get a room!" Arizona shouted.
"Ssh, its allowed," April replied, guiding Jackson over to her best friend by taking his hand in hers.
"I'm so happy for you guys!" The blonde practically lunged at her, pulling April into a tight hug, before hugging Jackson afterwards, who seemed surprised by the fact, "See, told you," She added quietly in his ears, sure that April wouldn't be able to hear her.
He'd never been more grateful for Arizona to be right about something. Finally, it felt like he was right where he was meant to be.