Disclaimer: I do not own any Naruto Characters.

A/N: This chapter was fun making, lulz. You're gonna love it, I promise.

"So, uh...what happened? I mean, all I saw was Sanosuke running from the way to your office crying. You yelled at him or something?" Tsunade remained quiet, a manicured hand over her diamond adorned forehead.

'Please make this pain in the ass shut the hell up...'

"That's what happened isn't it?!," Naruto continued loudly, going too quickly to conclusions for his own good. "He's a kid for crying out loud, grandma Tsunade! What were you thinking? Sanosuke's only five-"

"And he's my kid! I pushed him out! Not you!," The Hokage retorted while whipping her head torwards him.

Naruto cringed as her ambers pierced through him with enough intensity to bring down five grown men at once.

"Alright! I get it...sheesh.."

She could only groan in frustration as the blue eyed shinobi muttered loudly under his breath, arms folded tight against his chest.

'Thank goodness Jiraiya's handling this nut case or else i'd go fucking crazy...'

"Wait here," Tsunade ordered firmly, stopping right infront of her son's bedroom door. Naruto shrugged carelessly.

"Sure. No problem."

Taking her eyes away from him, she focused on the door before her, the crying of her little birthday boy penetrating through the thick wood. She took a deep breath then slowly creaked open the door.

Tsunade's frown deepened as her eyes layed upon the smile child. She rarely yelled at him, and in fact, used up most of her patience and self control on her son more than she did on herself sometimes. But never has she made him cry, not like this- purposefully.

Crocodile tears, or as she liked to call them, were like pelting rain from his big ambers, sitting "criss cross, applesauce" on his bed. Gods, was it hard being a mother.

"Sanosuke?...Sweetheart?"

Upon hearing his mother's voice, the honey eyes child quickly lifted his head, salt water trickling down his cheeks. If he would have heard his mother earlier, he would have surely ran for it, escaped through his window or at least attempt to try a substitution jutsu. His eyes widened as he sat astounded and flabbergasted at his mother.

The blonde kunoichi softened her face, guilt written all over her face. She took a few cautious steps inside his room then slowly closed the door, all the while never taking her eyes off of him. A long few moments passed by in stifling silence. She hated when he was quiet, even if the boy got on her last damn nerves with his rambunctious nature.

"...Can I?...Sit down?...," Tsunade whispered gently, hoping with all her heart he wouldn't be too upset at her.

Alas, he was. Sanosuke bowed his head, anger forming in his eyes, his tender face. In her opinion, he was just too young to be angry at anything, even if it was a tantrum.

She didn't know what to say, so she only acted, taking a seat next to him on his superhero comforter. They were both silent for a long while, Tsunade sending saddened glances down at him from time to time. When the courage arrived inside of her, she folded her hands into her lap and looked down at the floor. She never knew it would be this hard to explain anything to a five year old.

"...Sanosuke. Mommy's sorry..."

Nothing. He didn't budge. She sighed softly and tried again, this time with a little bit more detail.

"I didn't mean to yell at you, sweetheart...Mommy was just upset...," She explained softly, finding herself fighting back tears.

"...That guy was hurting you, mommy...," Sanosuke mumbled, crossing his arms across his chest.

Tsunade widened her eyes. 'So that's why...'

"No...no, honey. He wasn't hurting me."

"Then what was he doing?"

'Oh shit...' Tsunade bit her lip, looking away, at anything, trying to hide her blush. "...H-he was...ummm...helping me..."

Slowly, her son lifted his head, his bangs falling from infront of his eyes to the sides of his face. His mother recently began pulling his long hair back into a high ponytail, explaining so it wouldn't get in the way anymore whenever he wanted to play. In reality, she only did it so he wouldn't look as much as his father. Tsunade would get terrible "sweet tooth's" or as she liked to call them, for her sannin lover whenever she missed him or even caught glance of him. She didn't need any more temptation with her son running around looking so much like his father, there'd be times she refused to look at him.

Sanosuke became puzzled at his mother's pink tinted cheeks, demure eyes that never looked shy a day in his life. She was acting weird, that's all he could conclude.

"Helping with what?," He pressed, curiousity getting the better of him.

Tsunade fidgeted with her hands, clacking together her manicured nails repeatedly. "Nothing, sweetheart-" "But he was on top of you, mommy! And you looked like you were hurt and he was biting your neck and he-"

"Sanosuke!," She scolded sharply, casting her son a stern look. He slowly backed down, averting his eyes to his lap while tears began to well up.

With an exasperated sigh, shaking her head, the blonde haired mother began thinking of something- anything to say to her naive klutz of a son.

"Listen, honey...the man wasn't hurting me, alright? He was...we were...Sanosuke, we were playing..."

His face full of confusion, he looked back up at his mother who was blushing so hard, nearly her entire face went pink.

"Playing?..."

"Oh, yes. We were playing, sweetheart," Tsunade continued. 'That's it. Just go with it...he'll never know...'

Raising a brow, Sanosuke queried, "What were you playing?"

That's when he got her. The Hokage had not a clue as to what to say to him. And if she made something up, he'd surely question about that too.

'But he's just so young...I could make up anything and just back that up...he'd never know...I hope...'

"Ummm, well, we were playing...hide and go seek."

"Hide and go seek?...Uh, I thought one person was supposed to hide and the other was supposed to seek..."

'Oh great, now he decides to be a smart ass! Sanosuke, damn you...'

"Well...we were playing hide and seek, sweetheart. You see, after he found me, he sorta didn't let go."

She watched her son submerge himself into deep contemplation, studying her movements, the worry in her eyes.

"...Uh-huh...Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"And he wasn't hurting you?"

"Not at all, honey."

"Hmmm. Okay."

Tsunade let out an exhale of relief, closed her eyes. 'Thank goodness...'

She reopened her ambers to stare down at her son, smiled. "But thank you anyways, sweetheart," The kunoichi cooed softly, reaching out a hand to dry the tears on his cheeks.

Blinking blankly at her, Sanosuke furrowed his brows.

"For what, mommy?"

Widening her smile, she giggled at him while finishing clearing his face of tears. "For being so brave. You thought mommy was in trouble. Would you really have saved me, Sanosuke?"

Blushing at his mother's flattering words, he looked down, at a loss for words.

"Uh...well, yeah. I would. Nobody hurts my mommy!"

The blonde haired sannin giggled again before finishing her task of drying his face, taking her hand to caress the top of his head.

"Well, that was very sweet of you, honey. Mommy's so proud of you. Such a brave boy..." Tsunade leaned down and kissed his forehead.

"Am I a hero then?," He asked brightly, a large grin upon his face.

Nodding, she scooped him up into her lap then wrapped her arms snuggly around him.

"Yes. You're my hero, Sanosuke," She laughed as he hugged her back.

Her son's smile ceased to drop, even as he buried his face into the crook of her neck. He inhaled and smiled wider. His mother always smelled so nice, like foreign blossoms nobody has ever smelled before, alluring yet subtle. He could remember times when he was younger how she'd put him to sleep with just her scent alone.

"Love you, mommy..."

"Love you too, Sanosuke." She kissed his cheek then rested her head against his, rocking them gently from side to side.

It was all silent for a long few moments before loud knocking occurred outside the bedroom.

"Hey, Tsunade! What's going on?!"

Her eyes flew open at the voice. How the hell did he get invited? She didn't remember inviting him. 'Jiraiya...'

Don't get the wrong idea, of course she didn't hate him, but in fact, was trying to dodge him at all costs. Though he was her son's godfather, Jiraiya still wanted more. And in terms of more, he wanted a certain blonde.

Refraining from rolling her eyes, Tsunade impatiently shouted back, "Can you give me a minute?! Get some damn patience you two!"

Not a peep came from the two loud mouths from outside the door, both Naruto and Jiraiya falling to helpless victims to her yelling. When Tsunade started yelling, it was all over and they knew it.

Sighing softly, she began to stand up, moving her son to her hip.

"You feel ready to blow out your candles now, sweetheart?," She asked lovingly, tucking some of his bangs behind his ears.

Sanosuke nodded cheerfully, his grin a mile long.

"Uh-huh!! Cake, cake!!"

Tsunade laughed softly. "Good."

On the other side of the door, Naruto and Jiraiya put up a nonchalant facade when behind it all, they were secretly afraid if she was going to yell again. Both nearly jumped when they heard the door creak open but began calming down when they saw a warm smile on her face.

Tsunade smiling was the equivalence to seeing sakura blossoms blooming in winter. It was both astounding and beautiful.

"You two ready?"

Not waiting for a response from them, she walked right past them with her son at tote, Sanosuke looked over her shoulder and teased them with a raspberry.

Fuming, the spiky haired blonde stomped his foot, ready to charge.

"When I get my hands on you, you little brat..."

He was stopped with a large, firm hand on his shoulder. Knowing who it was already, Naruto relaxed, still utterly ticked off at the Hokage's son.

"Leave him be, Naruto. You're older than him, set an example."

"My ass. I don't care how old I am or how old he is, he has to start respecting his elders if he doesn't want a knuckle sandwich." Jiraiya sighed. He didn't know how he could keep on training this kid. Even with a girlfriend, the teenage gennin still acted like a kid.

'I shudder to think what kind of father he'll be if Sakura ever gets pregnant...'

"Let's get going, Naruto." A silent nod confirmed the sannin he was ready before the two started after Tsunade.

Everyone who was at the party, Tsunade either has been acquainted with or who got on her nerves. There were Sanosuke's friends of course who were just a train wreck waiting to happen. Naruto and his fellow friends. Jounnin and chunnin alike, even some commonfolk who seemed to be acquainted with the Hokage. The old and the young, the expecting and the unexpecting. This birthday party was something special not only because her son was going to the ninja academy in the fall, but because- hey, he was the son of the fifth Hokage. Which meant he too one day, would become Hokage.

"Hey, old lady!"

Tsunade, who was having a leisure conversation with the Jounnin, Kakashi and Gai, had the strongest urge to throw her sake bottle at the little demon known as Konohamaru.

He grew up since she first met him, he too five years old back then and a young ninja in training. But now, he was entering that stage of life where he was preparing to be a pre-teen. Reminding her of a certain spiky blonde, Konohamaru as well was just as arrogant and obnoxious. She wondered how on earth she let both Naruto and Konohamaru go around so long calling her 'old lady' and what she really despised, 'grandma Tsunade'.

Her eyes closing in anger, Kakashi and Gai watched in silent horror as she stuck out a manicured finger each time she mouthed out a number. If she reached the number five, it was on like a motherfucker. The masked Jounnin attempted to steer her attention in another direction.

"Uhh, Godaime. Why don't we go inside-"

"No. Let me just see what he wants..."

Gai's hand was inches from her shoulder when she began turning around, facing the voice that was calling her. And there he was with his two childhood friends. On his left side, the one with the runny nose and the unwavering aloof expression and on his right side was that defensive red head girl with the weird blush on her cheeks who seemed to always be all over him, though they weren't even an official couple or a couple at all. Honestly, Tsunade didn't know their names, nor did she care to find out. But she knew Konohamaru's name, the grandson of the third Hokage.

Arms across his chest with a smug look on his face, the young ninja in training didn't think twice when his mouth poured out words that ferociously tap-danced on the Godaime's last nerve.

"Where's the birthday boy? I got something to give to him."

A hand placed on her hip, she nonchalantly took a sip of sake and gave him a stern stare.

"What is it?," She queried lowly, narrowing her eyes at his two giggling friends.

"THIS!!!"

She blinked and the three rascals were gone in a poof of smoke, logs in their wake. 'Replacement jutsu...damn them to hell-'

An ear splitting shriek who deafened anyone near her came from the Hokage after seeing a blur before her eyes, subsequently having her cup of sake knocked from her hand and onto her face.

Screaming at the top of her lungs, eyes shut tight, she clenched her fists as she tried her hardest to keep herself from beating each of their asses.

"GET THOSE MONSTERS AWAY FROM ME!!!! GET THEM THE FUCK AWAY!!!"

"But Godaime-," Anko started nervously, approaching her from a nearby crowd, yet was quickly cut off from the Hokage's loud retort.

"BUT NOTHING!!! UGH, AND WHERE THE HELL ARE THEIR PARENTS?!!!"

Everyone looked up to see what the problem was, some unsure and some having a good clue as to what had happened. Konohamaru and his gang were long gone, but Tsunade kept on yelling. She wanted to see some justice.

Kakashi who was nearby, grabbed a couple of napkins and handed them to her.

"Here. Go clean yourself up, Tsunade...," He said reassuringly as she took the napkins from him.

She dried off her face, blinked open her amber eyes. Growling loudly, she roughly finished cleaning off her face when she saw the napkins stained with her mascara.

"Fuck. Not my makeup. When I get my hands on those brats i'm gonna wring their goddamn necks and they better pray I don't put my motherfuckin' foot up their little asses while i'm at it."

Upon hearing the sound of husky laughing, she looked at the corner of her eye to see the silver haired Jounnin shaking his head.

"And what's so damn funny? You want a foot up your ass too?"

Defensively waving his hands infront of him, Kakashi laughed, "No, no. It's nothing. Just...well I can't believe you let a couple of kids do that to you. They're not even gennin yet."

With a long, hard stare, she threw the used napkins at him.

"Shut up..."

And she was off. There was a slight chill in the air and when she began striding fast in her heels, her skin erupted goosebumps, especially around her chest where it felt as if she got out of a bath and forgot to dry off. She looked down, utterly pissed that the sake had spilled onto her cleavage.

Tsunade had no more napkins with her so she had no choice but to head off to her bedroom and change. And that's when for the first time since earlier that afternoon, she thought to her sannin lover.

'Orochimaru...'

She nearly forgot about him.

"Hey, Tsunade!"

Jiraiya. Damn, what did he want this time. Rolling her eyes, she slowly turned around, folding her arms underneath her breasts. Already, the toad sage could conclude that she certainly wasn't in a good mood.

'Is she ever?'

"Hey. What happened back there? Are you hurt?," He said with concern, stopping a few feet before her.

Descending her eyes, the blonde haired Hokage let out a gentle sigh.

"No, i'm not hurt, just pissed off."

"What happened then? You can tell me."

"I'd rather not," Tsunade responded coolly.

In her peripheral, a pair of lecherous, dark eyes were lusting at her cleavage, still wet from the sake.

"My eyes aren't at my damn tits you pervert," She growled dangerously, watched him close his drooling mouth, shaking his head a little.

"Whoops, guess I let my eyes wander off a little too southward. Can't blame them though. It's the middle of March and you're wearing those things out like it's August-"

The next thing he knew, her hand came in contact with his face in an ear splitting slap, Jiraiya immediately tending to his cheek with a ginger hand.

"Oh, shit...that woman sure can pack a powerful smack..."

He looked up to see she had disappeared. The pain from the slap continued to burn at his cheek as he felt the staring eyes of nearby onlookers upon him, waiting for what would happen next. Jiraiya, though, simply payed them no mind. Sighing sadly, he hung his head in shame.

'Jeez. I can't even get one date with her...just one. And I go and mess things up by making it worse...I'll have to make it up to her big time for that one...'

A/N: Lol, Jiraiya sure did fuck up, didn't he? Leave a review, let me know what you think, readers!