A/N: Enjoy!
12. Bitches Be Crazy (part I)
Saturday Evening
I sat at the saké bar, sipping on my drink and waiting for Mike to return after stepping away to take a call. Blue Fish was relatively empty, which Mike quickly assured me was due to the early dining hour. Because of all the open seating, he slipped into a booth in a corner of the restaurant to have his conversation.
Five minutes after he stepped away, I was tolerant of his absence.
Five minutes after that, with no sign of the call ending, my irritation was rising. I hadn't given up the end of my nap and a few more hours with Nugget to sit alone at a bar.
Mike's saving grace was that the bar was in the middle of the restaurant, easily allowing me to observe him as he held his conversation. I wasn't able to hear what he was discussing, but I found his concerned, panicked and agitated facial expressions to be very curious. I intended to question him thoroughly once he returned.
I gestured to Tamiko, our smiling bartender with bright red streaks in her hair, for another drink. She only spoke Japanese, but without Mike there to communicate, I could only nod when she pointed to a green bottle of saké.
I smiled in appreciation as she handed me a new cup. I sipped from it, taking in the restaurant's décor.
Blue Fish had an eccentric but trendy vibe. The indoor lighting was aqua blue, and the in-ceiling speakers were playing soft but upbeat Asian instrumental music. I also noticed a couple of fog machines tucked away. The machines and the 3am closing time left no doubt in my mind that the mild, early evening atmosphere transformed into something else by midnight. If Maggie wasn't pregnant, I'm sure she would've suggested this place for a girls' night out.
I was surprised Mike had taken me here. Even if the sushi was as delicious as he claimed, Blue Fish was definitely not his style. He mentioned that the head chef was a close family friend, though. Since I'd started introducing him to my family, it made perfect sense that he would start introducing me to his.
I continued to sip the saké.
With Mike still engaged in his phone conversation and no one but Tamiko to keep me company, I was left with my thoughts.
They drifted to Rick.
For most of Rick and Lori's relationship, I was convinced Lori wasn't the one for him. But I supported it, up until the night Lori left, because Rick always seemed so adamant that they were meant to be.
My gut instinct had been proven right, whether Rick had finally come to that conclusion or not.
And now Rick was convinced that Mike wasn't the one for me, suggesting that I might be forcing something that wasn't there.
Based on principle, I was obligated to take his words to heart.
Based on fear, I didn't want to.
Single and happy wasn't working for me anymore. I wanted something more.
"What exactly are you doin' with this guy?"
Rick's question was a fair one.
Mike and I had been together for a few months, and while I couldn't deny that there was a spark between us, I also couldn't deny that there wasn't exactly an explosion.
I drank the rest of my saké and gestured to Tamiko for another. She pointed to a brown bottle. I nodded.
Tamiko poured a new drink, and I glanced at Mike, who now looked pleased by whatever turn his conversation had taken. When he caught me staring, he smiled at me. One of those dazzling "you're a sight for sore eyes" smiles.
While I appreciated that I could make his face light up from across a room, the most I could give him was a small smile in return. Mike didn't take my breath away or make me dizzy with desire. When I looked at him, what I saw was a man who had the potential to make me happy… or maybe just happy enough.
That measure of happiness, and my willingness to accept it, would not sit well with Rick.
"Probably break his heart," I told Tamiko, who nodded politely as she handed me the cup of saké.
I believed Rick when he said my happiness was one of the most important things to him. I felt the same way about his. And I also understood that our argument was spurred by two things he'd admitted to—his selfishness and his insecurities—and one thing that he hadn't… an underlying degree of jealousy.
That nasty little degree. I was all too familiar with it.
I felt it the time Jessie was sniffing around. I felt it when I thought about Lori returning. Having to share my time with Rick and Nugget with someone who wasn't in the least bit deserving… or worse yet, having to lose that time altogether…
I shook my head, drained my saké and pointed to a blue bottle. Tamiko promptly reached for it to pour another drink.
Rick and Nugget.
"My guys," I whispered.
Who weren't really mine at all.
Who I had taken a step back from.
When Tamiko handed me the cup of saké, I'd already decided to request the red bottle next.
By the time Mike returned from his call, the heaviness of my thoughts had been lifted and the night was primed to become a blissful blur.
Sunday Morning
I groaned.
Last night was a maddening blur.
I sat in my car with my seat reclined and my shades protecting my eyes, feeling every sip of that premium Japanese saké. Getting drunk before 8pm was a new low for me, but being in a hungover state on Nugget's first birthday of all days was an even lower low.
I groaned again.
Gone were the days when logic and reason were what guided me. Emotion had infiltrated, and now here I was.
Although I'd pulled into Hershel's farm about twenty minutes ago, the pounding in my head kept me pinned to my seat. But even at eight in the morning, the Georgia heat could be fierce. Beads of sweat were already rolling down my body. Being hungover and drenched in sweat seemed decidedly worse than just being hungover, so I moved my seat into an upright position, adjusted my sunglasses and got out of my car.
As I lumbered up the path to the barn where Nugget's party was being set up, I silently cursed the sun and its nerve to shine so brightly.
I silently cursed the one bird that was incessantly chirping away.
I silently cursed myself for my insistence, months and months ago, that we all dress up as comic book characters today. Rick was the only one who caved to my badgering and suggested that I dress up as Catwoman to complement his Batman. Thankfully, I'd gone with a Wonder Woman costume instead. In my current state, the Catwoman suit would've been hell to put on and a nightmare to walk around in. Too much latex. Too high of heels.
I was already struggling with the act of walking as it was.
I took a few more steps before I had to stop to take a break. The barn was in sight, but so was Hershel's house.
I weighed my options.
The barn was still a ways to go. It may as well have been in a different state.
The house was much closer… the front door was almost always left unlocked throughout the day… and Hershel and Annette kept the refrigerator stocked with icy cold beverages.
I decided to make a detour.
"Shit!" I grumbled loudly after staggering to the house. I'd forgotten about the seven steps leading up to the wrap-around porch.
I can do this.
I could.
I'd come too far to do anything but stay the course.
I took a deep breath and grabbed onto the stair railing to my left.
Lift right foot. Lift left foot. One...
Lift right foot. Lift left foot. Two...
Lift right foot. Lift left foot. Three…
Lift right foot. Lift left foot. Four…
Breathe.
Breathe.
Breathe.
Lift right foot. Lift left foot. Five...
Lift right foot. Lift left foot. Six...
Lift right foot. Lift left foot. Seven.
Breathe.
I wrapped my arms around the column at the top of the stairs and rested my head against it. Once I caught my breath, I silently cursed the stairs.
I was only about four feet away from the screen door.
I was so close.
I just had to move my feet again.
"Hi, stranger," a familiar soft voice said, startling me.
I slowly turned my head to the left and saw Hershel sitting on the porch in a wheelchair. He was wearing a green luau shirt and holding a glass of what looked like lemonade.
With ice cubes.
I tried not to drool.
"You know there's a ramp you could've went up," he said, looking past me.
I slowly turned my head to the right and saw a wheelchair ramp off the side of the porch.
"I suppose I could've told you sooner, but what would be the fun in that?" he asked with a chuckle.
I swallowed a few hangover-induced unpleasantries before I spoke.
"Good morning, Hershel," I croaked.
I watched him chug his lemonade until it was gone.
"Ahhhhhh," he said in that soft voice of his. "Refreshing."
I narrowed my eyes. A stranger may have thought he was just enjoying a cold drink on a warm morning. But I had come to know him very well over the last year, so I knew better.
Hershel Greene was being messy.
As he lowered the glass, I heard the clink of ice.
I tried not to whimper.
"So what did you in?" he asked. "Wine? Tequila?"
"Saké," I mumbled.
He laughed heartily. "That's a new one."
"Is it that obvious that something did me in?"
"I've had a few rough morning afters in my day. I know the signs," he said. "But yes, it's also that obvious."
I felt terrible for a new reason altogether. I was a hungover mess in front of an alcoholic who'd almost lost his leg due to his own drunkenness. My new lows were growing.
"Want to talk about it?" Hershel asked.
I continued hugging the column tightly and slowly shook my head. "When did you get a ramp?" I asked, changing the subject.
"Let's see… the girls, Glenn, Daryl and some folks from church built it right before I was released from the hospital… You were missed. Rick too."
"Hate that we missed it."
I was willing to bet that Maggie had tried to get in touch with me to help out with the ramp, but because I'd been avoiding texts and calls at the time, I must have missed her invite.
"You and Rick get everything sorted out between you? Maggie stopped going on about having to choose one of you, so I reckon you did," he said, smirking.
I rolled my eyes at Maggie's overly dramatic ways.
"Me and Rick are good."
"Good."
"And how are you, Hershel?" I asked, even though the pounding in my head was getting louder from all this talking.
Hershel's right leg was in a full-length cast and there was an assortment of bruises, cuts and scrapes in various stages of healing all over his body.
"Causing my girls pain is what hurts more than anything," he said quietly. "My body will heal. That's what bodies do. It's the heart that needs the most time to recover."
He sat in a melancholy daze for a few minutes.
"My doctor says I'll be in this wheelchair for the next twelve to sixteen weeks."
I let out a somber sigh. "That's quite the recovery period."
He nodded but a mischievous look blossomed across his face. "Don't tell anyone," he said, keeping his voice low, "but I've been practicing on some old crutches. I'll be out of this chair in two months, tops."
His satisfied smile made me smile. "Well aren't you the bad ass?"
"I am."
"You be careful, old man," I warned, concerned about his bad ass ways. "But your secret's safe with me."
He smile broadened into a grin, and I started making my way to the screen door.
I could get there if I took three large steps.
Move right foot forward.
Move left foot forward.
Move right foot forward.
"Where's this new fella I've heard so much about?" Hershel asked when my hand grasped the screen door handle. "The Undies Guy?"
"Panty Man," I said, correcting him. "Actually, Mike," I quickly added, correcting myself. "His name's Mike."
I silently cursed Daryl for introducing "Panty Man" into everyone's vocabulary.
"He'll be here," I told Hershel. "I'll make sure you meet him."
"Looking forward to it. Undy Man sounds like quite the character."
I sighed and pulled the screen door open. There was no telling what all he'd been told about Mike, but if it came from Maggie or Daryl then it was guaranteed to be unfavorable and unflattering.
"Michonne?" Hershel called out, interrupting my progress once again.
I tried not to groan.
"Yes, Hershel?"
"There's extra-strength Tylenol in the bathroom by the kitchen. I have stronger stuff, but Tylenol's all you get. There's water, lemonade and sun tea in the refrigerator, with plenty of ice in the freezer. And Annette still has some biscuits and gravy out, so eat something."
I silently rejoiced.
"Thank you," I murmured. And finally, I opened the screen door and entered the house.
My first stop was the bathroom. I swallowed four Tylenol tablets and took my shades off to splash water on my face. I cringed when I saw my reflection in the mirror. Indoors or out, sun shining or not, I'd have to wear my shades all day.
My next stop was the kitchen. A plate of warm biscuits and gravy and a cup of warm tea were waiting for me, courtesy of Annette no doubt. She must have overheard my conversation with Hershel. Maggie once told me that Annette had a remedy for every ailment imaginable, so I was counting on that tea to be one of her special concoctions.
After I practically licked my plate clean and forced myself to drink every drop of the very bitter tea, I made one last bathroom stop. A stop that somehow ended up with me waking up on the toilet.
I had no idea how long I'd been asleep or how I even dozed off on the toilet, but now that I was awake, I felt better. I left the bathroom and found Hershel and Annette at the kitchen table separating leis.
Hershel smiled at me. "Toilet nap?"
I groaned. Another low.
"Your secret's safe with me," he said with a wink.
I gave him a kiss on top of his head.
"Thank you, Annette," I said, giving her a hug.
"You're welcome, sweetie. Feelin' better?"
"Infinitely."
"Good enough to take those sunglasses off?" she asked.
The pounding in my head was down to a dull ache and walking no longer felt like a burden. I figured the shades were safe to come off. The looks Annette and Hershel gave me and then exchanged with each other made me put them back on.
"What matters most is that you feel better, dear," Annette said sympathetically.
"Maybe you should have given her a stronger blend of tea," Hershel loudly whispered to Annette.
"That was pretty much the strongest," she loudly whispered back. "Bless her heart."
"At least she's walking straight now," he said, not even bothering to whisper. "You should have seen her. Like a baby giraffe."
I cleared my throat.
Hershel's eyes twinkled with amusement and Annette held in a laugh.
The Greenes were something else.
The two shared a loving smile, and I grabbed two bottles of water from the refrigerator.
"I can't tell you exactly where Carl is at the moment," Hershel said, "but he was with Daryl the last time I saw him. Rick's setting up tables outside of the barn. The others are floating around here and there."
I drank one of the bottles of water, thanked Hershel and Annette once more and then headed to the barn.
I couldn't help but laugh when I saw Rick. He couldn't hear me because he had his headphones in, but he would have understood my laughter if he heard it.
He was wearing the brown shirt I'd given him in his pornstache days. About fifteen years and twenty-something pounds later, that shirt was entirely too tight, but he refused to get rid of it. Daryl and I had laughed at him for at least a decade because of how comically smaller the shirt seemed to get year after year.
The twenty-something pounds Rick had gained over the years were mostly in the form of muscle, which his shirt clung to like a second skin. But the shirt also accentuated an adorable new development on his body. Love handles. I attributed them to the months he'd spent working in a sedentary desk job and to the five pounds he'd gained from his recent ice cream diet.
If I wasn't recovering from a hangover, I would've started teasing him mercilessly. Instead, I kept my distance and watched him pull out the folding legs of a round table and turn the table right-side up.
Once the table was positioned where he wanted it, he took his baseball cap off and used the bottom of his shirt to wipe the sweat from his face. Because he was facing away from me, I watched his shirt as it rolled up, revealing his strong, defined back.
I would've looked away, but Rick was done wiping his face in the blink of an eye. He'd already tugged his shirt down and put his cap back on. Or I would've definitely looked away.
He absentmindedly looked my way before heading over to a stack of foldout chairs. He did a double-take, stopped walking, pulled his earphones out and let out a whistle.
"Hello, Wonder Woman!"
I returned his grin. "Morning, Rick!"
His smile faltered just a fraction when I didn't move from where I was standing. We were never the type of friends to shy away from showing affection. Now that we were on good terms again, it didn't go unnoticed that I hadn't also greeted him with a hug.
He was probably wondering if I had reservations about our reconciliation, and I hated to plant that uncertainty in his mind, but I was keeping my distance to delay the inevitable. It wouldn't take him long to figure out the condition I was in.
Prior to this morning, I'd only suffered from two hangovers in my life. Rick had witnessed both. My first was at fourteen years old after Rick, Daryl and I discovered one of Merle's alcohol, drug and Playboy magazine stashes. We left the drugs and the porn alone but stole a bottle of whiskey, although I suspected the boys went back for the porn without me. My second hangover was from that night a few years ago when I had a few too many shots and got banned from a fine establishment.
"You've been busy this morning," I said.
He'd already set up six medium-sized round tables and a long farmhouse-style table with two benches.
"I have," he replied, already staring at me suspiciously.
I held up the water bottle. "Thirsty?"
He nodded, and I tossed the bottle to him. He caught it and nodded in appreciation but kept his eyes on me as he gulped down the water. When he was done, he was squinting at me.
"So, what's next?" I asked, ignoring the squint. "Looks like all the tables are set up. Should we start unfolding the chairs?"
He looked at his watch and set the water bottle down on one of the tables. "It's 9:36. I thought you weren't comin' until noon."
"Noon was the time you suggested, not the time I agreed to."
Rick stared at me for a beat.
"Where's Mike?" he asked.
"It's just me for now," I said with a half shrug.
He put his hands on his hips and started squinting again.
Shit.
An eye squint paired with a head tilt meant that Rick was about to lose his damn mind, but an eye squint paired with his hands on his hips meant the opposite. Rick's mind was busy calculating and piecing things together.
"What's with the shades?"
I let out what was probably too dramatic of a sigh. "It's bright out here, Rick. If you haven't noticed, there's this star in the sky? Called the sun? Shining down on us as we speak? Hence the shades."
He rolled his eyes and walked over to me, stopping directly in front of me.
"You have somethin' you wanna tell me?" he asked.
When I didn't answer, he pulled my shades off and grimaced when he saw my tired, puffy, bloodshot eyes.
He put the shades back on.
"Jesus, Michonne!" he whisper-shouted, turning a dark shade of red. "Panty Man got you drunk?! The night before Carl's birthday?!"
"Rick, I need you to calm down. I look worse than I feel," I said calmly.
His jaw tensed with anger and his head moved into a full tilt. I knew the truth wasn't going to go over well but hoped it would calm him down at least a little.
"Mike had nothing to do with this, Rick. I drank too much last night. It's 100% on me."
He stepped back with a shocked look on his face. "You chose to get drunk last night? Knowin' how important today is?" His face turned a darker shade of dark red.
I took a step closer to him and grabbed one of his hands. "I didn't… I wasn't… I'm sorry."
He stared at me long and hard without saying anything.
"Do you want me to leave?" I asked quietly, fearing that was exactly what he wanted me to do.
He slowly exhaled before answering. "No, Michonne."
To say I felt relieved would have been an understatement. Not being a part of Nugget's first birthday would have been soul-crushingly devastating.
"Are you too angry for me to be around you right now? I can find Daryl or Gleggie and help one of them..."
"Angry? No. Annoyed? Disappointed? Yes… But stick around. I want you here with me."
I looked down at my hand holding onto his. We'd just moved past annoyance, disappointment and a few other forms of unpleasantness in our relationship, but in less than twenty-four hours I'd managed to bring them back.
"Are we good?" I asked.
He waited to answer until I looked up at him. The hardness in his eyes had softened. His face wasn't nearly as red anymore.
"You're here," he said without malice. "You're a mess, but you're here. So yeah, we're good."
I smiled in relief and gave his hand a squeeze.
"There's still a lot to do, Michonne. You sure you feel up to helpin' out?"
"Annette worked her magic. I'm fine!"
"Oh, Michonne, Michonne, Michonne… You stop co-partnerin' for one day and look at you," he joked.
I know he was trying to keep things light between us, but I tensed at his words. There was too much truth in them for me to find the humor.
"We should probably start unfolding the chairs, yes?" I let his hand go and walked toward the chairs.
Rick stopped me before I took two full steps. "Hey," he said softly. "Is that why you-"
"No! I was having a good time last night. A really great time, in fact. I just lost track of how much I was drinking."
"Because of the great time you were havin'," he said flatly.
"Yes." I crossed my arms. "The really great time."
I knew that he knew I was lying. I was just hoping he'd let the lie fly.
"Makes no sense that you're a lawyer and such a terrible liar," he mumbled, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and hugging me.
I sighed and leaned into his hug. My emotions were all over the place.
I was relieved that my behavior last night hadn't led to another argument with Rick, but I still felt ashamed to have shown up hungover.
I was angry with and disappointed in myself for annoying and disappointing Rick on such an important day.
I was more than anxious about what a new relationship with Rick and Nugget was going to look like now that we had redefined our relationship.
I was going to have to reassess whether happy enough with Mike was truly enough to make me happy.
But Rick's embrace steadied me, if only for a moment. I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him back.
"Good mornin'," he whispered.
"Good morning," I whispered back.
I felt his smile, and I hugged him tighter.
"I'm sorry," I told him again.
"I know." He sighed and kissed the side of my forehead. "We'll talk later?"
I nodded.
"I just need you to do one thang for me," he said as we separated.
"Anything, Rick."
"Keep your shades on today," he ordered. "At all times."
I cocked my head to the side and put my hands on my hips. "Are you trying to tell me something, Rick Grimes?"
"Michonne, you know I think you're beautiful. You've been beautiful to me since the day we met, even after you pushed me down and stole my Tootsie Pop. But today… keep the shades on."
I'd seen myself. I knew how terrible I looked. And I really didn't appreciate him pointing it out.
"I hadn't planned on taking them off, so don't worry about it," I grumbled, rolling my eyes.
"Good, because you look like hell. I don't want that captured in photos, and I don't want you scarin' Carl or the other kids."
"I got it, Rick."
"I mean it," he continued. "You're Night of the Livin' Dead scary, Michonne. Do NOT take those shades off."
"I. Got. It. Rick."
"Oh, and Michonne?" he asked in a tone of voice that I didn't care for at all.
"What?" I asked suspiciously.
He pulled my shades down just far enough to be able to look into my eyes.
"Maria's convertible exploded while she was drivin' away from the oil fields… with Javier… who she kidnapped."
I gasped.
"All that was left after the explosion was his bionic hand."
"Did you…" I said slowly. "Did you just spoil the season finale of Pasión de los Cuerpos?"
"Did you just show up to Carl's birthday hungover?" he retorted, pushing my shades back into place.
"You're a monster, Rick Grimes."
Rick laughed out loud. "Am I?"
"You know you are," I grumbled. "But I suppose that makes us even."
He scoffed at that notion. "Oh, Sunshine," he said, cupping my face with both his hands. "We're not even close to even. But I will take great pleasure in knowin' how unpleasant today is gonna be for you… Ninety-two degrees... Not a cloud in the sky... Kidz Bop songs playin' for hours..."
I pulled my face out of his hands. "You're still on my list, so don't get cocky," I warned him.
"Yeah, I know," he said with a cocky smile. "But you're on mine now too."
We worked quietly and efficiently as we placed the chairs around the tables and dressed the tables with superhero-themed tablecloths and centerpieces. Once the tables were all set up, we sat across from each other at the end of the farmhouse table to blow up balloons.
I couldn't help but cheer when Rick brought over a portable helium tank. I was in no mood to blow up balloons by mouth, although I absolutely would have if necessary. Remarkably, the dull ache in my head was gone. While I was thinking of possible thank you gifts to give Annette, I noticed Rick sneak a glance at me.
"What is it, Rick?" I asked after I noticed him sneak another glance.
He tied off a balloon and shrugged. "Nuthin'."
"Really? Don't make me take these shades off," I threatened.
"No!" he shouted with laughter lighting up his eyes. "Anythang but that!"
I lightly kicked one of his feet because I didn't look that bad. "Well, what is it?"
"I'm just glad that you're here," he said sincerely.
"I'm glad I'm here too… And?" I asked, knowing there was more.
"And outside of this situation," he said, pointing at my shades, "you make a good Wonder Woman."
"Yeah?" I asked.
"Yeah."
"My costume's not too tight? Not too short?"
Now that the hangover haze had lifted, I was second-guessing this costume. It was starting to feel more fitting for an adults-only Halloween party than a family-friendly first birthday party. The skirt was showing a lot of leg, and the top wasn't leaving much to the imagination when it came to the girls.
Rick started to shake his head no but stopped himself. "Come over here for a second. Let me see."
"Uh uh. You can see me from right there."
Even though he was just Rick, the thought of his eyes roaming over my body in this scanty costume had me feeling self-conscious.
"I can't see all of you, Michonne. Get over here."
He pouted, and I groaned but got up.
Rick swiveled around on his bench and grinned in victory when I was standing in front of him.
"What do you think?" I asked.
His face remained neutral as his eyes leisurely traveled up from my red and gold boots, so I couldn't tell what he was thinking when he made it to my face.
"Not too tight, not too short," he said indifferently.
The lackluster response was a bit of a letdown, especially after the way he responded to my sushi outfit last night. But if he thought my costume was appropriate for the party, then that was what mattered.
He stared at my headband and took off his cap. "Wanna trade?" he asked, holding his cap out to me.
"Yes!"
I took the cap and handed him my headband, grateful to get a little relief from the sun. Rick put the headband on, and I couldn't stop myself from laughing.
"You look ridiculous," I said, sitting down next to him.
"I'm more than happy to look ridiculous for you, Michonne."
"I'm quite happy to hear that because you look quite ridiculous," I joked.
He smiled and looked out at the tables we'd decorated. "Just a few more balloons, and I think we'll be done."
He made the same comment about ten minutes ago, but if he wanted more balloons for Nugget, then we'd blow up more balloons.
"So where is he?"
Rick's tone made it obvious that he was asking about Mike.
"Not sure… He had an errand to run."
"An errand?" Rick asked as if an errand was the most preposterous thing in the world. "What kind of an errand?"
"I didn't get the chance to ask. But before he left this morning, he said he'd be here as soon as possible."
Rick's eyebrows raised. "Before he left this mornin'… Meanin' he spent the night?"
I stared at Rick a beat before I answered. "He did, but-"
"He spent the night and then disappeared first thang in the mornin'? He's a real class act, Michonne! And if he didn't want to be here today, that's all he had to say."
"If he said he'd be here, then he'll be here, Rick."
He grunted in response.
"And it's not like that," I said.
"Not like what?" he asked, his expression sour.
"Mike slept on the couch."
It wasn't Rick's business what my sleeping arrangements with Mike were, and we both knew I didn't owe him an explanation. But I felt compelled to let him know what had not transpired last night.
He grunted again.
"Stop grunting," I said, laughing a little. "You know that's Daryl's thing."
When he didn't so much as smile, I sighed. "Do we have a problem?"
Rick fidgeted his fingers on his knee for a few seconds and stood. "No, Michonne, we don't have a problem. Just hot and tired, I guess. I had a long night with Carl."
"Is Nugget ok? What happened?" I looked around for the birthday boy, worried that something was wrong with him.
"He's fine. He was just a little too excited to see you yesterday. Took him a while to go to sleep."
I immediately regretted not canceling last night's date night with Mike.
"You should have called me," I complained.
Rick stared at me in disbelief. "While you were on a date with Panty Man? I don't think so. But these are the sort of thangs I have to start workin' out without you, right? I worked it out."
Rick was right. I asked him to respect my relationship with Mike, and he had. I told him I was taking a step back, and he was respecting that too. I couldn't fault him for that.
He grabbed the bottom of his shirt to once again wipe sweat from his face. Because he was facing me this time, I got an eyeful of his abs… and a closeup look at those love handles. I had to stop myself from reaching out and pinching them.
"What are you smilin' at?" Rick asked, letting his shirt go and sitting back down. He straddled the bench to face me.
"N-Nothing," I stammered.
He looked at me curiously. "God, I'm glad Carl's a boy. Girls are so weird."
"I think you've forgotten a basic principle from our childhood," I retorted, straddling the bench to face him.
"Oh yeah? And what's that?"
"Girls rule and boys drool! When Nugget grows up and becomes president, it'll be because of my influence."
"President? Nah… He's gonna grow up and become a member of an elite covert special forces unit that fights terrorism."
I laughed and rolled my eyes. "We've gone over this before, Rick. G.I. Joe was not a documentary. Nugget will not be the one to take down Cobra Commander."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," he grumbled with a bright smile. "We'll see."
After being deprived of Rick's smiling face these past few weeks, I almost felt hypnotized by it. The way his eyes sparkled, the way his dimples-
"Your dimples!" I shouted excitedly, reaching out and rubbing his smooth jaw with my hand. "You have a face again."
"I do. A mountain man no more. Plus, I couldn't pull off Batman with that beard."
His hand covered mine and pulled it away from his face, and then he gave it a squeeze. I sighed because I knew what was coming.
"Tell me why you drank so much last night," he said, placing his hands on my thighs.
"It's not a big deal, Rick."
"Michonne, talk to me. The last time you got drunk-"
"I know why I got drunk the last time."
"Ok, so what happened this time?"
The concern in his eyes wore down my resolve to deflect.
"I, uh..." was all I got out before a booming voice saved me.
"Are you uh-soles done bein' uh-soles?" Maggie shouted.
Gleggie was walking toward us wearing green luau shirts and grass skirts.
"Uh-soles is not going to become a thing, Rick," I murmured as we got up.
He shrugged nonchalantly. "You can't control the masses."
I laughed as we walked over to Maggie and Glenn. "Gleggie!" I squealed excitedly, hugging them both.
"Nice hat," Rick said to Glenn, who was wearing a stylish, wide-brimmed straw hat.
"Nice… forehead crown?" Glenn replied, looking at the headband.
"Sooooooo you made up then?" Maggie asked. She looked back and forth from me to Rick.
"We did! You won't have to petition the court for joint custody."
Glenn and Rick chuckled, but Maggie's face immediately fell and her lip started to tremble.
"Excuse me for carin'!" she shouted, on the verge of tears.
I quickly gave her another hug. "Maggie, we love that you care so much."
"You better." She broke our hug and glared at Rick.
"You know we do, Mag," he added.
"Sorry about that call on Friday, Michonne," Glenn said sheepishly. "We were worried."
"Nothing to be sorry for. It was exactly what I needed." I still thought three-way calling was an unnecessary evil, though.
"What exactly happened on this call?" Rick asked.
"It was like your voicemail but worse," I told him.
His eyes widened in mock horror. "Worse than that voicemail?"
I started to laugh until I saw the look on Maggie's face.
"Not. Funny," she said in a dangerously low voice. "You two shut us out with no concern for how we'd feel about that. That's selfish! And you, Michonne… you know how much I need you right now! You're both lucky you just got phone calls."
We really were. Maggie's temper was a lot easier to deal with over the phone. Thankfully, her hormones left her more weepy than combative as of late.
"I'm Rick, and I'm mad because Michonne has a boyfriend. I'm Michonne, and I'm sad because Rick won't talk to me," she said, doing very poor imitations of Rick and me. "Waa, waa, waa! How can you two be so—"
"Maggie!" Glenn interjected.
They had a silent but heated conversation while Rick and I had a silent conversation of our own. Rick's eyes were doing all the talking since mine were hidden, but I agreed with what he was saying. We had selfishly neglected our friends and needed to make it up to them.
"Fine!" Maggie said to Glenn through gritted teeth.
While she was in the middle of an incredibly long eye roll, Glenn looked at me and Rick and mouthed "period."
It took everything in me not to rub the bridge of my nose.
"Nice outfit, Michonne," Maggie remarked.
"Thanks," I replied slowly. I knew she liked the costume because she helped me pick it out.
"And your boobs look fantastic," she said with a dark smile. "Don't they, Rick?"
"Wh-… uh…huh?" he sputtered.
"Michonne's boobs… Look at 'em. Don't they look fantastic all squeezed together and popped up like that?"
"Maggie!" Glenn exclaimed.
"What?" she asked innocently. "They're just boobs. And Rick and Michonne are just friends. So tell us, Rick… how do your friend's boobs look?"
The halter top really was working overtime in the squeezing and lifting department. I fully expected Rick to make a silly comment. Instead, he blushed and looked away.
I decided to change the subject.
"How about we all get together soon?" I suggested. "Grownups only."
Maggie instantly brightened.
Her mood swings were in top form today.
"Mama Mia's? After hours?" she asked. "We should have a theme night! The ladies in fancy dresses! The boys in tuxes!"
Maggie's enthusiasm was contagious. I loved the idea.
"I have been waiting for an opportunity to wear that dress I ordered from Saks," I said, mentally sorting through my closet.
"The red off-the-shoulder A-line?" she asked.
I shook my head. "The black plunging neckline with the sides cut out."
"Oh my GOD! I love that dress! If that's what you're wearin', we have to go shoppin'. I need somethin' cute that fits," she said, rubbing her stomach.
Maggie froze when she realized what she'd just said and what she was doing.
The four of us stood in an awkward silence.
"Wait a second," Glenn murmured, narrowing his eyes as something dawned on him.
It was about time! He finally realized he was going to be a father! I honestly didn't know how many more "she's on her period" explanations I could listen to without grabbing him by his shoulders and shaking some sense into him.
I still didn't think Maggie had any reason to be worried about his reaction. He clearly adored her and would adore their child. And the way he was there for me when I went into labor told me everything I needed to know about how he would be there for her, the woman he was deeply in love with.
Glenn stared at Maggie, who was staring at him with wide, anxious eyes.
"You want us to dress up? For pizza? That I have to make?" Glenn asked.
Maggie and I looked at each other in shock. She quickly recovered from it.
"Yes, Glenn. Pizza, dresses and tuxedos. That's what we're doin'!"
"Just asking," he mumbled.
"Let's put a guest list together next week," Maggie said to me. "Wanna do lunch and shoppin'?"
I nodded. "And we can talk about other things..."
Her eyes darted to Glenn and then back to me. "Yep. Let me know the time and the place, and I'll be there."
"Hey, have you two met Daryl's friend?" Glenn asked.
"I haven't," I answered.
"Me either," Rick said. "Daryl won't come over here."
"Well, we met her," Glenn said with a shudder. "She's kind of scary."
"Oh, come on, Glenn. She's not that bad," Maggie disagreed, playfully hitting him in the chest. But when she looked at me, her face said, "Yes. Yes, she is."
"Speakin' of friends, where's Panty Man?" she asked. "Is he not gracin' us with his presence today?"
"He'll be here," I told her. "Later."
"Later?" she questioned loudly. "Glenn and I are bustin' our asses tryin' to get a bounce house inflated and tryin' to keep fake palm trees from fallin' over. But he'll be here later?!"
"Maggie," Glenn groaned.
"This party isn't for some friend of a friend's kid, Glenn. This is for Carl! And if he cared about what Carl meant to Michonne, he'd be here! Right now!"
I sighed very quietly to myself because Maggie was getting worked up.
"He apparently had an errand to run this mornin'," Rick said, using air quotes when he said errand. "Got Michonne drunk last night too."
"That fucker!" Maggie shouted.
"He didn't get me drunk, and Rick knows that," I said, shooting him daggers that he couldn't see because of my shades.
Maggie shrugged. "He's still a fucker. Come get us when he gets here… unless he only wants to spend time with Rick again," she teased.
Rick grunted.
"Glenn, give Michonne your hat," she ordered.
Glenn and I looked at each other in confusion.
"More coverage from the sun than that cap," she explained. "Just swap with each other."
Rick wouldn't care about Glenn wearing his cap, so Glenn and I exchanged headwear. Maggie was right. The straw hat was the much better option for hangover recovery.
Once Glenn had the baseball cap on, the three of us started teasing him. He was in his early thirties, but his inability to grow facial hair kept him looking very youthful. The cap made him look downright adolescent—more like a pizza delivery boy than the man who was making the pizzas and running the business.
"Ok, come on, Glenn. Let's go," Maggie suddenly demanded. "I'm hungry."
"But you just ate," he said slowly with a bewildered expression.
Her green eyes flashed. "I'm. Hungry."
"Then let's find you something to eat." He brushed her hair back from her face and tenderly kissed her lips.
They smiled at each other as if they were the only two people standing here.
"Bye, guys!" Maggie chirped. "We'll be on bouncy house duty if you need us."
Rick gave Glenn a friendly pat on his back as Gleggie walked away hand in hand.
"Rick, that shirt's too tight!" Maggie shouted over her shoulder.
I smirked at him.
"And daddy told me about your toilet nap!" she shouted to me.
The Greenes really were something else.
"Toilet nap?" Rick asked.
"No idea what she's talking about," I innocently replied.
I ignored Maggie's cackling and walked back to our balloon station on the table.
"Uh huh. So Glenn doesn't have a clue Maggie's expectin'?" Rick asked, walking next to me.
I kept my lips sealed. It was Maggie's news to share.
"I guess that list of daycares she gave me makes sense now," he mumbled to himself.
I said nothing.
"I know you know, Michonne. You and Maggie are thick as thieves," he prodded.
"I plead the fifth," I replied, sitting down at the table. "Now let's finish blowing these balloons up."
Rick did a little happy dance before he sat down next to me. "Another baby in the family!"
I smiled at his reaction and thought about how Nugget and baby Gleggie were going to be the very best of friends.
Rick and I were admiring our decorating efforts when Beth, very much looking like a farmer's daughter in her denim overall shorts, a red and white checkered tank top and a cowboy hat covering her pigtail braids, stopped by with Nugget.
"Birthday boy!" Rick cheered, taking Nugget from Beth and giving him a kiss.
"Sorry he's wet. Daryl just ran through the sprinklers with him," she said, giving me a hug hello. "And sorry he's so sticky. Maggie let him eat leftover frostin' from the cakes."
"Dadu! Craw joo may brah lis do cha mert fafa pfft dur tox wee pree sho jin hapa mo chacha!" Nugget jabbered away nonstop.
"How much frostin' did he have?" Rick asked Beth as he handed Nugget to me.
"A lot."
I held Nugget up and grinned at him. "Hi, my Nugget! Happy birthday, sweetheart!"
"Muh! Muh!" Nugget screamed loudly.
He was all giggles and all hands. He mashed my cheeks together with his sticky fingers to get kisses. He pulled at the top of my halter top and drummed on my chest. He tried to pull off my shades. He reached for the brim of the straw hat. He tugged on my locs.
He would not stop squirming.
"Nugget, calm down, baby," I whispered, hoping my voice would have a calming effect.
It did not.
He shrieked, clapped his hands and giggled even more.
I was going to kill Maggie. The party hadn't even started, and he was already on a sugar high! I gave him a once-over and shook my head when I saw the remnants of frosting behind his ears, in his hair and in between his toes. But my head whipped around to Rick when I noticed the S emblem on his swim trunks.
"Superman swim trunks?"
Rick shrugged. "Batman's my thang. I know Superman is yours."
I grinned at him until Nugget grabbed my nose with his sticky little hand and giggled.
"Rick, I know you wanted a horse for the pettin' zoo, but daddy thought it'd be safer to go with some of the baby animals."
"That's ok. The horse was more for me anyways," he said with a little laugh. "What's that leave us with?"
"Chicks and piglets!"
"I'm sure the kiddos will love that," he said, smoothing Nugget's hair down.
"You wanna go see the baby chickies, Carl?" Beth asked Nugget.
I held onto him a little tighter and slightly turned away from her.
Beth's face scrunched in disbelief. "Are you serious, Michonne? You're such a Carl hog!"
"I am not," I weakly protested.
I knew that I was.
"You are! That's why everyone's tryin' to spend time with him now. Once his party actually starts, you won't let anyone hold him. Except for Rick. Maybe."
"That is not true," I weakly protested.
I knew it was true.
"Me and Carl were just stoppin' by to say hi anyways. Will you hand him back over?" Beth asked.
I looked at Rick, but he held up his hands to say he wasn't getting involved. I gave him a look, sighed and kissed Nugget on his cheek.
"Fine, Bethanne. I will hand him over."
Beth narrowed her eyes at my use of her full name. I was probably going to regret that.
"I'll see you in a little while," I promised Nugget.
"Jo bot ort no no," he babbled before giving me a sloppy kiss on my cheek.
"Wait! Let me take a picture first!" Beth pulled her phone from her pocket and motioned for me and Rick to get closer together.
Rick put his arm around my shoulder, and I adjusted Nugget so that he was positioned between us.
"Looks good! Smile, everyone! One… two… three," Beth counted off before taking a picture.
Rick and I laughed at the image. Nugget was grabbing at my hat; I was trying to move my head out of his reach; and Rick was smiling like nothing was happening.
"A blessin' and a curse to look this good," he joked.
I rolled my eyes, but Rick did look good. Really good.
"You look absurd in that damn shirt and headband," I told him instead.
"Language," he shot back, grinning. "And you don't look too far from absurd yourself, wearin' that hat with that costume."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I playfully grumbled.
"There's more pics," Beth said, taking her phone from me to show them to us. "Here's Carl and Glenn..."
Nugget was sitting on Glenn's shoulders and wearing Glenn's straw hat, which completely swallowed his head.
"Here's Carl and Maggie..."
Maggie and Nugget were sharing a giant spoonful of frosting. They both had frosting around their mouths, and their matching looks of delight were priceless.
"Here's Carl and Daryl..."
Daryl had somehow fit his large body into a very tiny kiddie pool, though most of his body was hanging over the pool. Nugget was sprawled across Daryl's stomach and happily splashing his hand in the water.
"Have you met his girlfriend?" Beth asked.
"We haven't," I answered.
"She's a little…" Beth searched for the right word.
"Glenn mentioned scary," Rick said.
"Yeah," she agreed, nodding. "That's it."
Rick and I looked at each other to discuss whether we were more intrigued or alarmed. We were more intrigued at the moment.
"Here's daddy and Annette with Carl…"
Hershel and Annette were sitting at the kitchen table and smiling at Nugget. He was sitting on the table with five leis around his neck and was reaching for another.
"And here's Carl with his daddy from earlier this mornin'..."
The picture was so beautiful. Rick and Nugget were walking together side by side. Rick's face screamed proud papa, and the giddy look on Nugget's face was too precious for words.
"No hands, Michonne," Rick whispered. "He walked all by himself for five whole steps."
I tried not to get choked up. My precious little Nugget was officially a walker.
Rick rubbed the small of my back, and I gave Nugget another kiss.
"I'll text you guys the photos later," Beth said, taking Nugget from me. "And Michonne…" Beth narrowed her eyes. "I'm glad you're feelin' better. Daddy told me about your baby giraffe problem."
She cackled loudly as she walked away, triggering Nugget's maniacal giggling.
The Greenes really, really were something else.
"Baby giraffe problem?" Rick asked.
"No idea what she's talking about," I innocently replied. "Don't you need to go shower and transform yourself into Batman?"
"Nah, I have some time," he answered after looking at his watch. "We still have an hour or so before the party starts. Besides, my costume's not that complicated. Shorts, a Batman tshirt and an eye mask."
I pulled my shades down and gave him a look.
"Don't give me that look," he said, laughing. "I forgot to order the suit in time. I had to improvise. But some of the other parents'll have costumes on, so you won't be the only one. Now put the shades back on, Michonne."
I pushed my shades back into place and excitedly asked, "Should we go find Daryl and his scary friend then?"
"Nah. Daryl will bring her around when he's ready."
I frowned at him. Of course he wouldn't want to spy on Daryl. At times like this, I needed Maggie.
"What should we do then, Rick?" I was trying not to sound too perturbed, but I was very perturbed… and then Rick smiled a boyish smile.
"Tree swings?" he asked.
I looked out at the enormous tree with two swings hanging from it on the other side of the property.
"You know I could never resist a tree swing," I said with a smile of my own.
Rick and I swung back and forth, looking out at the party coming to life in front of us.
"Huh," he said thoughtfully.
"Hmm," I concurred.
Between our superhero-themed tables, Gleggie's Hawaiian-themed bounce house, Daryl's mini water park and Beth's petting zoo, there was a lot going on.
Rick laughed in amusement. "Maybe next year we stick with one theme?"
"Maybe so," I agreed.
We swung back and forth, enjoying a comfortable silence.
"You never told me about the day Carl was born," Rick said quietly, breaking our silence. "About what it was like… Your water breakin', contractions, labor."
I turned my head to look at him, but since our swinging was off, I only saw the back of his head.
"You never asked, Rick," I said as I caught his eye when I was swinging forward.
He stopped swinging. "I'm askin' now."
I slowed my swinging down until I came to a stop as well.
"I missed his birth," he murmured, kicking his foot into the dirt. "I regret that every day. I should've been there to see him come into the world, to support you. But I was chasin' Lori… Lookin' for someone who didn't wanna be found."
I knew that missing Nugget's birth would be something that always haunted him, but I was elated he was finally asking about the most important moment of our lives. It was an experience I very much wanted to share with him.
"I never asked how that day was for you either, Rick. How everything unfolded."
At the time, I knew all I needed to know: Lori had abandoned her family. Other than wanting to read the letter she'd written him, I had no interest in wanting to understand, excuse, justify or further discuss her abandonment. But now that so much time had passed, I was curious about that day from Rick's perspective.
"But let's discuss it tomorrow," I proposed. "Let's just enjoy today for what it is… a glorious celebration of the most amazing little boy known to humankind."
He reached over and squeezed my thigh. "Fair enough."
"Besides, I'm pretty sure you don't want me to go lawyer on you over your empty promises."
An adorable look of confusion clouded his face. "Empty promises?"
"My fancy new phone. My vaginal rejuvenation."
Rick rolled his eyes. "I thought we agreed your vagina was a lost cause because of all the previous wear and tear. And I tried to give you a phone."
"Richard Arthur Grimes, we most certainly did not agree to that nonsense about my vagina, and a refurbished Motorola Moto X did not cut it. I explicitly said a fancy new phone."
"It was re-fur-bished, Michonne," he said, shrugging. "Good as new."
Rick's technological shortcomings really did disappoint me. I was just giving him a hard time about the empty promises though. I'd replaced and upgraded my old phone almost immediately after I broke it, and my vagina had eventually gotten her groove back.
"You're lucky I like you so much," I teased.
"Extremely." He took my hand, kissed the back of it and brought our hands down to rest near his heart.
"It's gonna be a good day, Rick."
"It's gonna be a great day." He sighed in content before checking his watch and standing. "Looks like it's time for me to get goin'. I must become Batman."
I looked up at him and started laughing.
"What?" he asked, still holding onto my hand and helping me up.
"That was terrible. When you say Batman, you have to say it in a lower, huskier voice."
"I'm Batman," he tried again.
"No, it's… I'm Batman."
"I'm Batman."
"Wait, which Batman are you channeling? Keaton? Affleck? Clooney? Bale?"
"Keaton," he said, looking mildly insulted that I would even question that.
"Say it one more time?"
"I'm Batman."
"I suppose that's respectable enough for one-year-olds to enjoy," I teased.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," he grumbled, gently tugging on a loc.
He stood in front of me, making no moves to head to Hershel's house.
"You mind if I take this off?" he asked, looking at my straw hat.
Before I could shake my head no, he let go of my hand and took the hat off and then carefully pulled off my shades. I waited for the joke about how terrifying I looked, but it never came.
This was the longest we'd looked at each other all day without my shades coming between us. It was nice. But the intense way he was looking at me was also making me nervous.
"What is it?" I asked anxiously.
"Thank you, Michonne. For everythang. Always."
"You're welcome, Rick. Always. And thank you for trusting me with Nugget… even though I had no experience with babies and had no clue what I was doing. That was probably very irresponsible of you now that I think about it," I teased.
He smiled and gently cupped my face with his hand, gently moving his thumb up and down my cheek.
"I got you somethin'," he said softly.
He handed the hat and my shades to me, reached into his pocket and pulled something out that he hid in his hand.
"Today's not just special because it's Carl's birthday. It's special because of what you did for us. It's special because of you, Michonne."
He held up a gold necklace with an M charm on it.
"Rick," I gasped.
I turned around so he could put the necklace on. When it was fastened, I turned back around to face him.
"It's beautiful, Rick. Thank you," I whispered.
"You like it?" He adjusted the M so that it was laying in the middle of my chest.
"I love it."
The smile he gave me, which was so bright and so full, made my heart contract. That smile drew me to him until we stood together, almost chest to chest, breathing in sync. His face had grown so serious, but his eyes still held the warmth of that smile.
My gaze fell to his lips, and then I looked back into his eyes, feeling myself getting lost in the blueness of them.
A slow smile spread over Rick's face as he caressed my cheek again and tilted my chin up.
"Rick!" Daryl shouted. "Hey, Rick!"
We jumped and moved away from each other, leaving a wide gap between us.
"Rick!" Daryl shouted again.
I put the hat and my shades back on right as Daryl ran up to us. He took a few seconds to catch his breath before standing in front of Rick and firmly grabbing his shoulders.
"I need you to stay calm, man," Daryl said in a steady voice.
Daryl wasn't one for theatrics, so Rick and I both knew something was very, very wrong. Rick squinted and tried to free himself from Daryl's grip, but Daryl wouldn't release him. Rick tried to look around Daryl, but Daryl wouldn't allow him to do that either.
I looked out to see what Daryl was shielding Rick from.
Mike.
Mike was confidently striding toward us, but something seemed off. It wasn't that he decided to wear a suit and tie to a one-year-old's outdoor birthday party—I'd never seen him dress casually in public, so I honestly didn't expect him to wear a costume… What seemed off was the look on his face.
The self-assuredness that normally dwelled there was replaced by a disturbingly smug expression.
What have you done, Mike?
And then I knew.
In the blink of an eye, I saw just a hint of long, brown hair behind him before it disappeared.
I knew that hair.
"'Chonne!" Daryl shouted.
But I was already on the move.
It couldn't be. It just couldn't. Not today.
I breezed past Mike, tuning out whatever it was that he was saying.
And there she was.
Lori Grimes. In the flesh.
Her audacity brought me to an abrupt stop.
"Michonne," she said dryly, clearly displeased by my presence. "I'm here to see Rick and Jr."
My hands were shaking.
She didn't even know Carl's name.
The last thing I heard before my rage propelled me toward her was Daryl shouting, "Asshole, grab Michonne!"
A/N: Thank you for reading! Please take the time to leave a review. It's appreciated!