A/N: Enjoy!
15. Bitches Be Crazy (part 3)
"Owcy! Owcy! Owcy!"
Maggie tried to warn me.
"Owcy! Owcy! Owcy!"
I should have listened.
"Owcy! Owcy! Owcy!"
But giving him birthday cake seemed like the only reasonable option at the time.
"Owcy! OWCY! OWWCYYYYYYYY!" Nugget screamed, filling all one thousand eighty-nine square feet of my condo with his voice.
His cake-induced sugar high was in full swing, and the only thing Rick and I could do was ride out the storm. For the last thirty minutes or so, that meant letting Nugget hold onto our hands while he bounced up and down between us on my couch.
While screaming.
Very loudly.
Every time one of his screams hit a cringeworthy octave, I flirted with the idea of running to my room, jumping in bed and burying my head under the pillows. But the second Nugget looked up at me with that beaming little face of his, his sparkling blue eyes and that huge toothless grin kept me anchored in place.
I couldn't possibly run away from him when he looked so deliciously happy.
And I couldn't possibly run away from Rick. Literally, I couldn't run away from Rick. I was 99.9% certain he would pull a Beth and tackle me if I attempted to make a run for it. I wouldn't blame him either. Although technically, this sugar high was not my fault. Maggie and I wouldn't have needed cake therapy in the first place if Lori and Mike hadn't shown up how they did.
Because of how the day had been thrown into such disarray, Nugget's explosion of energy took me and Rick by surprise. We were normally able to pinpoint when he'd have a cranky meltdown or an outburst like this, but we hadn't been paying attention to how much cake he'd eaten.
His sugar consumption completely slipped my mind when Rick and I decided to look for his phone. I assumed Maggie and Beth would be on board with joining the search party, but the Greene sisters were being a particular type of stubborn when I asked for their help. Maggie returned to the couch and refused to budge from a face-down position until Glenn returned, and Beth made herself comfortable at the kitchen table to devour what was left of the "Happy" cake before moving on to the "Carl" cake.
Rick and I could have looked for his phone on our own, but the idea of leaving Maggie and Beth in sulking and bingeing states didn't sit well with me. So I made a decision. If a superhero/Hawaiian bounce house/mini water park/petting zoo-themed birthday extravaganza wasn't in the cards, then we were spending our time together looking for that damn flip phone.
But Maggie and Beth wouldn't budge from being stubborn.
Asking them nicely to help didn't work. Presenting a "together, we're strong" argument didn't work. Using Nugget to pull at their heartstrings didn't work. The only way I could get them out of the house was to make them a promise.
It was a promise I'd made in jest, but I knew they would hold me to it because of how they cackled and squealed their way out the front door. Rick looked at me questioningly after I joined them outside. I admitted nothing and shrugged as if I had no idea why they were being so obnoxious.
Maggie, of course, was more than happy to announce what I'd promised. She would have, too, if Beth hadn't noticed Hershel, Annette and Daryl approaching the house in the golf cart. Thankfully, no bodies needed burying and everyone who was invited to the party had been informed it was canceled.
To ensure we didn't have any more unexpected or unwanted visitors, Daryl and Annette closed and locked the gates to the property. And so, for just a little while, we'd be in our own little bubble.
A somber silence started to settle as we withdrew into our individual thoughts, until Nugget called out to Annette, put his hands on his head and shouted "Peeboo!"
The most adorable pronunciation of "peek-a-boo" by the most adorable one-year-old in the world was enough to pull everyone from the collective funk we were slipping into. It also put me back in phone search mode. I knew Daryl, Hershel and Annette would help out; no convincing needed. Daryl was too loyal of a friend, and Hershel and Annette would want to find the phone first because of how competitive they were.
Since I didn't want them poking fun at Rick, I was planning on glossing over why we were searching. But Beth, who hadn't witnessed anything and only knew what I had vaguely told her, took it upon herself to give them a heavily embellished, overly animated recount of how Rick lost his phone.
I gave Daryl a look for laughing entirely too loudly for entirely too long. Once he caught his breath, he teased Rick in the way that only a best friend could get away with. Rick took the ribbing in stride, especially after Maggie, Beth, Hershel and Annette joined in on the laughing. Once they caught their breaths, they teased Rick in the way that only family could get away with.
Even Nugget clapped and giggled while everyone gave his daddy a hard time.
More so than laughing at Rick's predicament, I think everyone truly needed a really good laugh after all of the day's drama. Rick accepted that, though he may have mouthed "I need new friends" to me after Annette, who hadn't witnessed anything and only knew what Beth had just told everyone, reenacted how he threw his phone. But the slightest upturn of Rick's lips told me that he very much appreciated the group of people around us.
Hershel and Annette kept the laughs coming when they started trash talking before the search began. It was G-rated and in good fun, and the rest of us followed suit.
Because I knew Beth hated that she had a baby face, I taunted her by calling her Babyface.
Because Beth was still a tad salty about Rick breaking up her fight, she taunted him by calling him Officer Friendly.
Because of a brief but regrettable period in our twenties when Daryl made bad hygiene decisions, Rick taunted him by calling him Pigpen.
Because Hershel was sitting in his motorized wheelchair with Annette on his lap, Daryl taunted them by calling them Wheels and Legs.
And because of how I had shown up that morning, Hershel and Annette taunted me by calling me Drunky Baby Giraffe.
Maggie opted to sit out the actual search but did offer to call Rick's phone from the comfort of the porch swing. I handed Nugget off to her and tasked them with dialing Rick's phone so that it was always ringing.
Rick's ring tone for Maggie, which Maggie demanded that we all set as her ring tone, was a snippet of Katy Perry's song "Roar." The first time Maggie called Rick's phone, we all sprinted, or rolled in Hershel's case, in different directions in search of Katy's voice.
After the tenth time Maggie called Rick's phone—the tenth time of Katy belting out that she had the eye of the tiger, we were working together to find Rick's phone, desperate to make the ringing stop.
The hay made it impossible to determine the exact location of the phone, which is why we gave Glenn a hero's welcome when he made his way through the hay with the phone in hand. Glenn looked thoroughly confused, having no idea why we were all in the hayfield or why we were so enthusiastically celebrating him. But he went with it, and his confused expression relaxed into a confused smile.
Maggie, of course, was the living form of extra when she saw Glenn. She screamed out his name, somehow stretching the one syllable to three, and ran over to us, practically tossing Nugget to Rick. She jumped into Glenn's arms, wrapped her legs around his waist and kissed him as if she hadn't seen him for weeks.
Glenn held onto her tight, kissing her with the same obscene amount of passion that she was kissing him. It was safe to say he'd moved past the shock of impending fatherhood.
Everyone looked pleased that Glenn and Maggie were back to being Gleggie, but no one wanted to watch them paw at each other. We left them in the hayfield and moved to the barn to discuss Nugget's birthday. Because there was a possibility of rescheduling the party, we decided to leave everything in place at the farm.
I took in the empty scenery around us and sighed. I couldn't help but think about the should've beens.
Nugget should've been on his second birthday outfit of the day. Gaggles of children should've been running around and screaming like little maniacs. Rick should've been cooking burgers and hotdogs on the grill. Daryl should've been pushing little kids out of the way to go down the Slip 'N Slide. I should've been silently cursing whatever Kidz Bop song was playing.
Lori and Mike never should've been here to ruin it all.
With that final thought, I felt the undeniable rumblings of my rage.
But it didn't have an outlet.
The rest of today was supposed to be all about Nugget, so jumping in my car to find Lori wasn't an option. The only thing I could do was try to stay calm, and I was only able to do that when I looked over at Rick and Nugget.
The sight of the two instantly quieted the rumblings. They seemed to be engaged in a very meaningful conversation that consisted of a lot of gibberish from Nugget and a lot of head nodding from Rick.
Rick's eyes met mine, and he smiled at me—a teasing smile to let me know he caught me staring. In response, I playfully narrowed my eyes, crossed my arms and mouthed, "it's a free country." He rolled his eyes, but his smile grew… and then it faded as he looked around the farm.
The should've beens weren't lost on him either.
When our eyes met again, we agreed it was time for us to go.
Daryl, Hershel, Annette, Beth and Gleggie sent us off in style when they formed a circle around us, lit sparklers and sang Happy Birthday to Nugget. He seemed more impressed with the sparklers than the people holding them, but that circle of people meant more to us than I could ever express in words. I didn't know if Lori's return was going to affect us as a whole, but I didn't want what we had to change. Not because of her.
So we dragged out the goodbye.
After I packed the "1st Birthday" cake in my car, I warned Daryl that he better have my Big Kats and Dr Pepper the next time I saw him or else; Maggie warned me that I better figure out my shitting or getting off the pot situation and that I better keep my promise or else; Glenn reminded me and Rick to use our words; Beth taught me a punch-knee-elbow combo; and Hershel and Annette said a prayer with Rick. I'm pretty sure I overheard Annette ask the Lord to cast out no good, deadbeat, hussy demons from our lives, but I may have been mistaken.
There was one last onslaught of hugs, kisses and happy birthday wishes for Nugget, and then Rick and I were all set to head to my condo.
That's when things took another turn.
When Rick was trying to strap Nugget into his car seat, his second sugar high of the day decided to make an appearance. My precious little Nugget transformed into a squirming, grabbing, climbing, clinging, kicking, screaming, maniacally giggling little monster right before our eyes. Rick was the car seat pro between the two of us, but it took him over twenty minutes to strap Nugget in.
Once we drove off Hershel's property, our ears were assaulted by Nugget's deafening, mile-a-minute gibberish. He drowned out everything—conversation, music, thoughts. All I could do was grip the steering wheel and try not to run red lights.
Rick wasn't having that. After sitting through one red light cycle, he made me pull over so that he could take over driving. He warned me that he'd be breaking a few traffic laws but promised to break them in the safest way possible.
Needless to say, we made it to my parking garage in record time.
We suffered through the most unpleasant elevator ride in the history of elevator rides with Nugget before we were finally in the comfort of my condo. I put the cake in the refrigerator, kicked off my Wonder Woman boots and then joined Rick and Nugget on the couch. Nugget situated himself between me and Rick, grabbed onto our hands and started bouncing. At the time, I thought he would bounce for five or ten minutes before losing interest or running out of energy.
Yet, here we were thirty-something minutes later.
"Dadu!" Nugget screamed, bouncing up and down and looking at Rick.
"Hi, buddy!" Rick grinned at Nugget, showing no signs of sugar high fatigue.
"Muhmuh!" Nugget screamed with an excited smile, looking at me.
And that was the look that kept me from running to my room, jumping in bed and burying my head under the pillows.
"Hi, Birthday Boy!" I said in my best Cookie Monster voice, making him giggle.
"OWCY! OWCY! OWCY! OWCY!" he screamed as he bounced.
When my gaze shifted from Nugget's baby blues to Rick's, he was giving me a raised eyebrow stare.
"This is on you," he silently accused.
I gave him a raised eyebrow stare of my own, silently telling him, "Sometimes you have a really crappy day and you need cake. Consequences be damned!"
"Uh huh," he replied.
"It couldn't be helped, Rick," I insisted.
"Uh huh." He shook his head and smiled as he picked Nugget up.
Nugget tried to hold onto my hand and scowled at Rick for stopping his bouncy time. When Nugget's tiny lower lip jutted out, I scowled at Rick. That lower lip jut meant another ear assault was coming in the form of a loud, angry shriek.
"Riiiiiiick," I said slowly.
He gave me a wink and then flipped Nugget upside down.
Nugget was stunned into silence. As he looked around trying to process his new upside-down world, I waited anxiously for his reaction. It could go one of three ways: a much louder, angrier shriek than we would've heard in the first place; a delighted squeal; or more owcies.
When he let out a delighted squeal and started happily kicking his legs in the air, Rick gave me a big smile.
I sighed in relief, very much enjoying the squeals.
"You couldn't have done that twenty minutes ago?" I asked him, lightly kicking his foot.
"Coulda," he said, still smiling. "But this is the first time you looked like you were really gonna make a run for it."
Rick turned Nugget upright, and my eyes feasted on him as he happily wiggled and giggled in Rick's hands. I didn't realize that Rick had grown so serious and solemn until I heard it in his voice.
"Do you think—" he started to ask, looking at Nugget but talking to me.
"Dadu!" Nugget shouted, interrupting him.
He squirmed around impatiently, ready to be turned upside down again. Rick gave him what he wanted, and once he was happily kicking his legs, Rick started speaking again.
"I… I made the right call cancelin' the party, right?"
"Rick," I said tenderly, turning toward him and scooting closer.
"His birthdays keep gettin' screwed up," he said with a heavy sigh, flipping Nugget upright.
"Caw dee tro sha bop!" Nugget laughed and grabbed Rick's nose.
"Rick…" I waited for him to free his face from Nugget's grasp and look at me before I continued. "You made the right call. They could've come back. They could've said or done something in front of Nugget."
I could see how the thought of Nugget witnessing their theatrics caused Rick to tense up.
The thought of Lori seeing Nugget, holding Nugget made me tense up.
Nugget, picking up on the tension, stuck his fingers in his mouth and looked back and forth at the two of us. Hoping to steer him back to his upside-down happy place, I reached out and tickled his tummy.
"Or..." I said to Rick while Nugget giggled, hoping to steer the both of us back to Nugget's upside-down happy place too.
Rick let out a deep breath. "Or?"
"Or they could've come back when more than just family was there. You invited your Gymboree crew… you know you would've been the talk of Gymboree if they'd witnessed anything," I teased. "For at least a week."
A beat passed before Rick relaxed. "More like a month," he mumbled with a small smile. "They do like to gossip."
I scoffed at Rick's use of "they," as if he wasn't the captain of the Gymboree gossip ship.
"Well, I'm sure Jessie would have your back," I half-joked, tickling Nugget again.
Rick gave me a look and rolled his eyes. "She wouldn't dare, not after you and Maggie traumatized her."
"Traumatized? That is a gross exaggeration, Richard," I said in mock offense.
"Uh huh," he deadpanned. "And she and Jerry are a thang now anyways. Her pie won him over."
I smirked at that. "Oh, I'm sure her pie did."
"Really, Michonne? In front of the baby?" He tilted his head and squinted his eyes, but there was laughter in his voice. "Mind outta the gutter, Miss Danvers."
"Never," I whispered, smiling. "Seriously though… You made the right call canceling. It's the call I would've made."
I studied his profile while he kissed the top of Nugget's head. The fear that he'd once again let Nugget down was etched all over his face. I wouldn't allow him to beat himself up over something he'd done to protect his son. If I had to continue to reassure him that he made the right call, I would.
A stray hair fell onto his forehead, and I couldn't stop myself from brushing it back into the rest of his hair, using my fingertips. Rick jumped slightly in surprise but didn't question my touch or pull away from me.
My hand continued traveling through his soft brown hair to the curls resting at the nape of his neck. He closed his eyes and took a very deep breath. I watched his face relax as he let the breath out, and I cupped the back of his neck, letting my fingers gently play in his curls.
I'd looked at Rick's face for decades. I'd witnessed it change from the chubbiness of boyhood into the handsomeness of manhood. But I was just now realizing, after watching his lips part to let out a barely audible sigh, how perfectly pink his lips were.
When he turned his head towards me and opened his eyes, I averted my gaze to my fingers enmeshed in his curls.
"Mich-"
"Dadu!" Nugget shrieked.
Rick and I looked down at him and watched his comical attempt to turn himself upside down.
I removed my hand from Rick's neck, feeling the silkiness of his curls slip between my fingers, and moved over so that there was some distance between us again.
"Sorry, buddy," Rick said, turning him upside down.
Nugget's little tushy wiggled with joy, and Rick and I laughed at the spectacle.
"Well that's new," I said to Rick.
"That is new," he confirmed.
We both knew there was only one person who would have taught him to shake his little booty.
"Beth," we said at the same time, looking at each other.
That stray hair had fallen back onto his forehead, but I kept my hands to myself.
"Rick, he's having a fabulous birthday, and that's what matters right now. You're doing everything you can to make it special for him," I said with sincerity. "You didn't fail him. You didn't let him down."
He stared at me in a way that made butterflies in my stomach come to life, and then he nodded. "He did do a lot today to not have had an actual party. Farm animals with Beth…"
He turned Nugget upright and lifted him up to blow a raspberry on his tummy. Nugget let out an exuberant laugh.
"He played in the water with Daryl," Rick said before blowing another raspberry.
Nugget's laugh was even bigger.
"He b-"
"Don't you dare say anything related to the B-word, Rick!" I wasn't ready for Nugget to resume his "Bouncy! Bouncy! Bouncy!" screams.
Rick laughed and said, "He jumped around with Gleggie," and then blew another raspberry.
"Dadu!" Nugget squealed between his laughs.
"He ate plenty of frostin' and cake." Rick gave me a side-eye as he lowered Nugget. "And I heard he may have even learned a new word today..."
I silently cursed the Greenes and their big mouths.
"You know anythang about that? About a new word he learned today?" Rick asked with a raised eyebrow.
I slowly blinked and said nothing.
"That's how you're gonna play it?" he asked, smiling. "Can you believe that, Carl?"
"Mo gee go flur chot bah rem frup la," Nugget said very matter-of-factly, using his hands as he spoke. "Orz grob boo shet pop."
"I agree," Rick said.
"Didn't know you were so well-versed in gibberish, Rick."
"Now you know, Michonne," he retorted. "And if I'm translatin' correctly, Carl says he wants to thank you for feedin' him so much cake today. And for teachin' him that new word. Isn't that right, buddy?"
I rolled my eyes. Nugget would never snitch on me.
"You want your Michonne?" Rick asked Nugget.
"Muhmuh!" he screamed, reaching for me.
I happily took him while eyeing Rick suspiciously. He looked like he was up to something. "Whatever you're about to do, Richard—don't," I warned him.
He slowly blinked at me.
I narrowed my eyes.
"Carl!" he whispered enthusiastically. "Hey, Carl!"
Nugget stopped trying to grab the M charm on my necklace and looked over his shoulder at his daddy.
Rick in turn looked at me deviously. "Bouncy! Bouncy! Bouncy!" he shouted.
Shit.
Nugget threw his arms up and I quickly grabbed hold of his sides right as he started bouncing on my legs.
"Owcy! Owcy! Owcy!" he screamed. "OWCY! OWCY! OWCY!"
Rick put his hands behind his head, stretched his legs out in front of him and chanted with Nugget.
I looked at the doorway to my bedroom and sighed.
After about fifteen more owcies, I had officially reached my owcy limit for the day. I gave Rick a look that stopped his chanting in the middle of an owcy and flipped Nugget upside down. When I held him back up, he giggled and gave me a kiss on my cheek.
"We're even," I said to Rick while Nugget mashed my face between his hands. "For the cake and for the S-H-I-T."
"I don't know, Mich," he replied, smiling. "He's nowhere close to burnin' off all his energy, and my innocent little angel officially has a potty mouth now."
I rolled my eyes. "We're even, Rick. That's that." I pulled one of Nugget's hands from my face and nibbled the side of his neck.
"Well, if that's that, then I guess we have to call it even," Rick said with an amused expression on his face. "I'll even forget about you showin' up with a hangover and take you off my list completely."
"How considerate," I said, pulling one of my locs from Nugget's surprisingly strong grip. "But unfortunately for you, Officer Friendly, after the little stunt you just pulled, you're still sitting very high and very comfortably on my list."
I laughed at the exaggerated pout he gave me.
"You gonna tell me what Drunky Baby Giraffe means?" he asked.
"No idea what you're talking about," I deadpanned.
"Ok, go ahead and keep your secrets… Little Miss Toilet Nap."
He wiggled his eyebrows at me, and I groaned. The Greenes had exceptionally big mouths.
"Muhmuh," Nugget whimpered.
I grinned from ear to ear when he puckered his lips. He really loved kisses, and I really loved giving them to him. The two of us giggled as I covered his sweet face with kiss after kiss.
"I could watch you two for hours," Rick marveled, "but I think I'm overdue for a shower. You mind if I take one?"
"I insist that you do, Rick," I teased.
He was more than overdue for a shower. He never had a chance to take one before the party was supposed to start, and he'd worked up quite a sweat from prying Beth off Lori and from looking for his phone in the hayfield.
"Very funny," he deadpanned.
He remained seated on the couch, and I looked at him curiously. "You forget where the shower is?" I asked. "It's through my bedroom… the room that's not the closet."
He gave me an unimpressed look. "I haven't forgotten where the shower is, but unless you want me walkin' around naked and wet afterwards, I'm gonna need a change of clothes."
I ignored the mental image of a naked and wet Rick Grimes.
"Just wear the pajama bottoms you wore yesterday," I suggested.
"Nah, those are already in the hamper. I know you have a clean pair stashed somewhere."
Did I have a clean pair of his pajama bottoms stashed somewhere? Yes. Yes, I did. I'd returned most of Rick's pajama bottoms when I moved out, but I may have kept a pair and a few other things. But I'd never hear the end of it if I admitted that.
"I guess I can just keep sittin' on this nice, comfy couch in my sweaty shirt and shorts," he said with a shrug. "And I guess this evenin' I can sleep on this nice, comfy couch in my sweaty shirt and shorts."
I sighed because I loved my couch too much for that. "There's a pair of pajama bottoms in my second dresser drawer," I mumbled.
He smirked. "A shirt would be nice too."
I sighed again. "Third dresser drawer," I mumbled. "One of your old Academy tshirts."
"And if my feet get cold?"
I sighed again. "First dresser drawer," I mumbled. "Socks."
"And underwear?"
I rolled my eyes. "Don't be absurd, Rick! I didn't steal any of your underwear."
When it looked like he was about to challenge that, I cut him off. "Not a word, Richard. Shower. Now," I ordered.
He got up from the couch and walked backwards to my room with a big smile on his face. "You stole my clo-othes because you'd miss me," he said in a sing-song voice.
If I didn't have Nugget in my arms, I would've thrown a throw pillow at him. "You're never getting off my list!" I informed him instead.
"Totally worth it!" He closed my bedroom door, grinning at me.
"What's wrong with your daddy?" I asked Nugget in a baby voice.
"Dadu yas bop tick fur int bobo," he explained.
"Oh yeah?" I asked, looking into his bright blue eyes. "Tell me more."
I smiled as he continued to speak to me in gibberish about all the things that were wrong with Rick Grimes.
...30, 31, 32, 33, 34.
It took thirty-four steps to walk from my kitchen wall to my living room wall.
I knew this because I'd been counting my steps for the last twenty minutes while I paced.
Pacing was keeping me calm.
Pacing was keeping me from jumping in my car and finding Lori.
I turned around to walk the thirty-four steps back to my kitchen wall.
Rick had been in the shower for almost an hour. Typically, he wasn't a long, hot shower type of person, but I respected that he probably needed some time to sort through his thoughts.
For now, I had pacing to sort through mine.
I had pacing to keep me calm.
I had Nugget, too, in a sense. It's just that I had the sleeping, open-mouthed snoring version of Nugget at the moment.
After he and I finished our conversation about Rick, I figured I could handle a few more owcies. It was his birthday after all! But my "Bouncy! Bouncy! Bouncy!" chant was rejected. Nugget looked at me with the most endearing little pout and said, "No owcy, Muhmuh." Then he stuck his thumb in his mouth and rested his head on my shoulder. About five minutes after that, he was asleep.
I was content to just hold him and watch him as he slept… until I received a text from Maggie with news of a Lori sighting.
Maggie's source spotted Lori at a grocery store a few miles from Rick's house. Apparently, she purchased frozen, precooked steaks along with instant potatoes, canned creamed corn, a bottle of Pinot Noir and a peach pie.
Nugget's peaceful face and soft snores were no match for my racing mind after I read that text.
So I held him and I paced.
Rick and I were going to have to sit down and talk, really talk, about her. About Lori.
I needed to know what his game plan was with her. He and I needed to figure out how far we were willing to stretch the boundaries of our normalcy for her, specifically when it came to Nugget.
…30, 31, 32, 33, 34.
I turned to walk back to my living room wall.
I wasn't worried about Rick being swayed by Lori's transparent plan to wine and dine him. He preferred beer and Lori couldn't cook. I was worried that she still had meaning to him. His heart had been invested in her for too long for me to believe that she didn't, regardless of what he said about her at Hershel's.
And regardless of the hand Mike played in all of this, it didn't change the fact that she was making herself comfortable in the house I moved out of a few weeks ago to be with the man I stopped co-partnering with as of yesterday.
Everything seemed to be falling into place for Lori.
"Whatever you've been doin' with my family, you can stop now. Your services are no longer required."
Perhaps I really had been acting as the seat warmer all this time.
"Hey," Rick said softly, bringing my pacing to a halt, silencing the thoughts running through my mind.
"Hey."
He was leaning in my bedroom doorway, wearing the pajama bottoms and tshirt I'd stolen from him. I had no idea how long he'd been standing there. My thoughts were so loud that I never even heard him open the bedroom door.
"Stop that," he said, walking over to me.
Confusion made my eyebrows furrow.
Rick stood in front of me, ran his hand up and down my arm and said, "Stop thinkin' whatever it is you're thinkin'. You're gettin' yourself worked up, probably over somethin' that's just not true."
I stared at him, loving and hating that he knew me so well. "Stay out of my head, Rick Grimes," I whispered.
"Never, Michonne Danvers," he whispered back.
He looked at Nugget draped over my shoulder and took a step closer to us. "He's finally asleep," he said quietly, gently rubbing Nugget's back.
I was about to share our "No owcy, Muhmuh" moment but was stopped from doing so when a familiar scent hit my nose. I cocked my head to the side and narrowed my eyes. Rick looked nothing but guilty.
"Really, Rick?"
"I needed lotion," he insisted as if that justified what he'd done.
"So you bypassed the cocoa butter and went straight for my expensive, special occasion, no longer in production Victoria's Secret lotion?" I deadpanned.
"Michonne, you have to think big picture here," he said, putting his hands on his hips.
"Enlighten me. What's the big picture?"
He shrugged nonchalantly. "I'm not ashy."
I stared at him for a beat before rubbing the bridge of my nose. "Oh my God," I sighed out. "You're ridiculous."
"You can live with that." He laughed softly and carefully took Nugget from me.
I instantly missed the weight and the warmth of him.
"You should get outta that costume. Take a bath. Get comfortable."
The thought was more than tempting. Between the dried cake frosting and all the sweating I'd done today, I was overdue for a bath myself.
But we had things to discuss.
"We should talk, Rick."
"We should," he agreed. "We will. But you need to relax first. Hot water and soap can be better therapy than cake, you know?"
I looked at Rick and blinked slowly. There was no way he was standing in my home telling me that a delicious piece of chocolate cake was inferior to a bath.
"Don't look at me like that, Michonne," he said, chuckling. He got behind me and pushed me toward my bedroom. "We'll talk about thangs... about Lori when you're done, ok? Now go."
"So bossy," I mumbled as I dragged my feet to my room.
But I was going to do what he said. I would relax and get comfortable, and then we would talk about the one person who I had hoped to never see again.
Fucking Lori Grimes.
I stared at my face in the bathroom mirror. Annette's tea really had worked wonders. I looked like hell when I had hangover face, but now I looked like me again. A slightly pissed off, slightly stressed out version of me, but me.
Although Rick's assertion that a bath was better therapy than cake was absolute ludicrousness, I agreed that a good bath could be therapeutic. I considered letting my rainfall showerhead and body spray jets work their magic on me but taking a bubble bath in my soaking tub seemed like the better option for my current state of mind.
I monitored the rise of the bubbles through the mirror while taking down my french braid twist and pulling my locs into a high bun. As I was securing my hair, the M charm on my necklace caught my eye. I adored my necklace and would never forget the lovely words Rick said when he gave it to me.
It was still sticky from Nugget, so I took it off to clean it. I carefully wiped it down, knowing that no other necklace would ever be as special or ever take its place around my neck.
When my tub was filled with hot water and full of bubbles, I sank into it, rested my head against my bath pillow and let out a contented sigh. I put on my eye mask and tried to still my mind, but it took a while before I was able to blank out my thoughts.
No fucking Lori Grimes. No Mike. No anger. No frustration. No fears. No doubts.
Just a still, blank mind.
"Hey, Mich?" Rick shouted from the other side of the bathroom door. "You decent?"
I probably should have been annoyed with him for disturbing my Zen, but I wasn't.
"I'm decent! Come in!" I shouted, not bothering to make sure that I was decent since the bubbles were still covering everything except my head and neck.
I heard Rick open the door and take a few steps into the bathroom.
"Just checkin' to see if you were hungry. It's close to five, and we haven't had much to eat today."
That was true. Besides my hangover breakfast, the only thing I'd eaten was cake. Rick had eaten less, as far as I knew.
"I'm starving," I told him. "You cooking?"
"I'm dialin'," he replied with a chuckle. "Chinese ok?"
My mouth watered at the thought of spicy crispy beef, fried rice and an egg roll. "That's perfect."
"Good, cuz I already ordered. Got your usual."
I turned my head towards him and smiled. "Thanks, Rick."
I waited for him to respond. When he didn't, I raised my eye mask. Rick was standing in the middle of the bathroom, just staring at me.
I immediately felt self-conscious. "Anything else?" I asked.
"Nuthin' else. I just like seein' you this way."
Instinctively, I looked down to see what exactly he was seeing. The bubbles were still covering me. But when my eyes returned to Rick's, it seemed that we both were very much aware that the bubbles were the only thing separating my naked body from his view.
"Relaxed. I mean I like seein' you so relaxed," Rick said, turning a shade of pink. "Because you looked so upset before, and now you look so relaxed."
"Yeah, it's not cake, but... yeah," I said just to say something.
He cleared his throat. "Ok, so, I'm gonna go and leave you to it," he mumbled, looking at anything but me as he walked backwards to the door. "Take your time in here. I'll keep it hot for you... Your food, I mean! I'll keep your food hot for you... if it's delivered… while you're still in the-"
He was cutoff when he closed the door after stepping out of the bathroom. I stared at the door for a few seconds before pulling my eye mask back into place and trying to get back to my still, blank mind.
"I just like seein' you this way."
I smiled at that and laughed at how pink Rick turned trying to clean that comment up.
Eventually, I was able to relax enough to return to nothingness in my mind. But the doorbell rang shortly after that, and all I could think about was my spicy crispy beef.
"Go ahead and start eating without me," I said to Rick after I heard the bathroom door opening. "I'll be out in a minute."
"Michonne, it's me!"
What?
"Maggie?" I asked, raising my eye mask.
I was greeted with a hand waving in my face.
A left hand.
With a diamond ring on the third finger.
I looked into Maggie's excited green eyes, and we both screamed.
"What?! How?! When?! What?!" I asked, grabbing her hand and staring at the ring.
"It just happened! Not just happened, but it happened a little while ago!"
"Tell me everything. Now!" I demanded.
"You know how I sent you that text about Olive Oyl?"
Maggie stopped talking so we could roll our eyes.
Fucking Lori Grimes.
"A little while after that, me and Glenn were walkin' to the tree swings. I could tell somethin' was on his mind… you know how he gets that constipated look. But I know how he is about his words, so I waited for him to find the right ones to say what he needed to say. Then he stops walkin', reaches for my hand and puts somethin' in it."
I looked down at the ring and smiled.
"I knew what it was before I opened my hand. And when I looked at him, he was lookin' at me like I was everythang to him. Everythang he wanted. Everythang he could ever hope for. And I said yes without givin' it a second thought because Glenn is everythang to me. He's everythang I've ever wanted. Everythang I could ever hope for."
Maggie and I looked at each other with tears in our eyes.
"That's so beautiful, Maggie," I said, sniffling.
"Maggie Rhee," she whispered, pulling her hand from mine and looking at the ring on her finger. She sighed and put her hand back in my face. "Glenn was so shocked when you said I was pregnant, but he was also worried about Daddy. Last night, he asked Daddy for his blessin'. He didn't want him thinkin' he only asked because he knocked me up."
"Hershel would never think that," I murmured, admiring her diamond.
"I know. And Glenn knows that. He was just really overwhelmed by everythang that was happenin'."
"Wait!" I practically shouted as something dawned on me. "Hershel has known since last night that Glenn was going to propose?"
Maggie nodded.
"How in the world did he keep that a secret?"
"No idea. Bethy and me got our big mouths from him, so I know it was killin' him to keep his shut."
We laughed at how much distress Hershel must have been in to have kept Glenn's impending proposal a secret.
"I take it Glenn is completely on board with being a daddy?" I asked.
Maggie beamed. "He is! And you were right… I should've told him when I first found out. I was just so scared, Michonne. But he's already hopin' for a boy. Daddy, too. I know it's a girl though. I just feel it," she said, rubbing her stomach.
I was convinced that Maggie was having a girl. I remembered sensing that Nugget was a boy before the ultrasound confirmed it. I smiled at Maggie and then said a silent prayer for Glenn. A mini-Maggie was already making my eye twitch a little.
Maggie pulled her hand away to look at her ring again. "We're thinkin' we'll get married as soon as Daddy's leg is healed so he can walk me down the aisle."
I did the math on that. Hershel said he had twelve to sixteen more weeks in his cast. And he'd certainly need physical therapy once the cast was off… that would maybe be another month…
I resisted the urge to rub the bridge of my nose.
Maggie was going to be a very pregnant bride.
"And if I'm gettin' married…"
Oh, no.
"...I'm gonna need..."
Oh, please no.
"… a maid of honor."
I swallowed hard. Images of Maggie in all of her hormonal, bridezilla glory flashed before my eyes.
"Michonne," she said, squatting so that we were eye-to-eye. "I love you. You're my best friend. Be my maid of honor."
No. No. No. No. No.
"Maggie, that's… it's… But what about Beth? She's your sister. You sure you don't-"
I stopped talking when Maggie's face crumbled.
I accepted my fate as her maid of honor when tears started rolling down her cheeks.
"Y-you're my s-s-sister too, M-Michonne. Say y-y-yes."
I felt my eye twitch.
"Yes."
Maggie squealed and wrapped her arms around me. "I'm so happy!"
"I'm so happy for you, Mag!" When she stood up to brush the bubbles off her arms and wipe the tears from her face, I asked, "But where's Glenn? Shouldn't you be celebrating with him and not here with me?"
Maggie gave me an earnest look before walking over to the bathroom counter, pushing my things aside to clear some space, and sitting on it.
"Michonne, family sticks together in a time of crisis. We wanna be here with you and Rick and Carl. Bethy's here too. We're gonna help you figure out what to do about that bitch."
"Maggie," I heard Glenn groan.
The bathroom door was open, but I didn't see him.
"Glenn?" I called out.
"Hey, Michonne!" He waved his hand in the doorway.
Maggie sighed in exasperation. "You've seen her placenta, Glenn! You can handle seein' her under some bubbles!"
"Maggie," he groaned. "I'll wait out here."
"Congratulations, Glenn!" I shouted.
"Thank you!" I could hear the smile in his voice. "We brought pizza! The spicy sausage, pineapple, jalapeño that you like."
"Thin crust?" I asked.
"Thin crust," he confirmed.
I loved my friends. They were so supportive and loving and thoughtful and-
"You make good on that promise yet?" Maggie asked, her eyebrow raised.
I grabbed my eye mask and put it back on.
"Bye, Margaret. Thanks for stopping by to chat. Close the door on your way out," I deadpanned.
"I figured you hadn't kept it. There's no way Rick would still look so stressed out if you-"
"GOODBYE, MARGARET."
I rolled my eyes when Maggie cackled.
"Bye, Michonne," she sang, closing the door on her way out.
I silently cursed myself for making that promise to the Greene sisters.
When the doorbell rang shortly after that, I took it as a sign to get out the tub. I wasn't concerned about being a good host to Gleggie and Beth—they had Rick and Nugget to keep them company. But if my Chinese food was being delivered, I didn't want it or the pizza getting cold.
Except I didn't get out the tub. I turned the faucet on with my toe to add more hot water to it. Thoughts about my maid of honor responsibilities had me very concerned about the future state of my mental wellbeing.
I was surprised to hear a knock on the door because I immediately recognized it as Daryl's.
"Do you have my Big Kats?" I shouted.
I kept my eye mask on after I heard the door open.
"Yeah, Michonne."
"Ten? King-sized?"
"Yeah, Michonne," he grumbled, and I knew he was rolling his eyes.
I didn't care.
"And my bag of minis?" I asked.
"And your bag of minis,"
"And my-"
"And your damn Dr Pepper!"
"A liter?"
"Yeah. A liter."
"Good," I said, pleased with my new stash. "You are forgiven for your transgression."
He grunted in annoyance. "Hey, hurry up in here," he grumbled. "We brought burgers and fries. Got you your blue cheese and bacon, extra pickles, no mustard."
I lifted my eye mask to look at him. "We? As in..."
"Yeah, she's here," he said casually. "Figured she could help us figure out this Lori shit."
I rolled my eyes in annoyance. "And why didn't you lead with that, Daryl?"
"You're the one that asked about the Big Kats!" he argued.
Even though the bubbles were still covering me, I crossed my arms over my chest. "Daryl, don't you think your girlfriend might find it peculiar that you're in my bathroom right now? While I'm taking a bath?" I asked very slowly as if he was the biggest idiot ever.
He looked incredulous and then disgusted.
"She knows it ain't like that. She knows what you and Rick mean to me. Besides, even if you were my type, I could never be with you like that. Not when I know how big your hole is. She knows that."
My jaw dropped.
"She knows what, Daryl?"
"That your hole is huge. As big as a human head." He grimaced at the thought.
"It was a baby human head," I clarified through gritted teeth. "And it's back to a normal size now."
"If you say so," he mumbled, shrugging.
I hadn't even met this woman, but she thought I was walking around with some type of hideously deformed, oversized...
"Stop spreading lies about my vagina!" I shouted, throwing my washcloth at him.
"Calm down, crazy!" Daryl shouted back, throwing the washcloth at me.
When he realized I was searching for my soap in the water to throw at him, he ran out the bathroom and closed the door. After a few minutes, he knocked on the door but didn't open it.
"Sorry I said anythang about your… normal-sized hole," he said on the other side of the door.
I narrowed my eyes. By the way he paused, I knew he used air quotes when he said "normal-sized."
"Daryl?" I called out sweetly.
He opened the door just a crack. Because he knew I was planning to throw soap at him, I knew he wouldn't come back in. But I didn't need to see him to threaten him.
"Listen carefully, Daryl Dixon… You are going to stop mentioning my vagina to any and everyone you cross paths with, ok?"
He grunted.
"Because if you don't, I'm going to start mentioning to everyone you know, meaning Gleggie, the Greenes, your motorcycle club, your coworkers, your new girlfriend and all your Instagram followers, that you used to have that crush on Paula Abdul when we were kids. You remember that, D? Remember how you learned all of MC Skat Kat's lyrics from "Opposites Attract" and would make us listen to that song? Rember how I caught you-"
"Alright, Michonne. Damn," he grumbled.
"I have photo evidence, D. Don't make me use it."
He narrowed his eyes and grunted again.
I gave him a big smile. "Glad we understand each other. You can go now. And send Rick in here."
I knew he was sulking by the way he slammed the door.
I laughed and quickly finished bathing, wrapped myself in a towel and grabbed my cocoa butter. Rick walked into my bedroom as I was walking out of the bathroom.
"Everything ok?" he asked, closing the bedroom door behind him.
I heard Nugget giggle.
"He's awake?"
"Too many visitors for him to stay asleep," Rick said.
I groaned. He was going to be fussy later.
"Very fussy," Rick agreed. "Everything ok between you and D? He looks sad."
"He'll be fine. He's just upset because he can no longer talk about the Eighth Wonder of the World that apparently is my vagina."
He laughed. "How'd you shut him up?"
"MC Skat Kat," I said with a smirk.
He laughed again.
"Soooo… what does she look like, Rick?" I asked, sitting on my bed and putting lotion on my legs.
"I'm not gonna stand here and gossip with you about Daryl's girlfriend, Michonne."
I stopped lotioning my legs to stare at Rick.
I blinked slowly.
"You gossip all the time with Daryl and Glenn! You don't get to be principled right now," I said in disbelief, crossing my arms and legs. "You three have probably gossiped since D got here."
"I don't care to dignify that with a response," he replied with what I knew was faux indignation. "Just put some clothes on and come meet her."
"Fine, Rick," I grumbled, getting up and walking to my closet. "What do you think I should wear?"
"I'm in my pajamas, 'Chonne. I don't think it matters."
"Correction, you're in my pajamas, Rick," I retorted, turning around. "Everything you're wearing is on loan. And first impressions always matter."
The doorbell rang again but Daryl or Gleggie would answer it for us.
"So put some pajamas on and make a bad first impression with me," Rick said with a smile. "And FYI, you may have already made your first impression."
I searched my mind for something she may have witnessed me saying or doing at Hershel's.
Oh, no. Drunky Baby Giraffe.
I sighed. "She saw me when I was hungover?"
"Nah, not that. We all heard you shout at Daryl just now… about spreadin' lies about your vagina."
Oh my God.
"Yo, Rick!" Daryl shouted, pounding on my bedroom door.
"Chinese food must be here. Hurry up! You have a buffet waitin' for you. Burgers, pizza, chocolate... Oh, and heads up, Maggie's two candy bars in on your Big Kats."
"Shit," I muttered. "There's no stopping a pregnant lady though, is there?"
"No, not that pregnant lady." He turned to the door but looked back at me. "Hey, I know we have company, and everyone wants to help out, but we'll talk about Lori later. Just you and me."
"Ok, Rick," I said softly. "I'll be out in just a minute. Try to distract Maggie from my Big Kats if you can."
"RICK!" Daryl shouted, pounding on the door again.
"Comin'!" Rick shouted. "See you in a few," he said to me before leaving my bedroom and closing the door.
I made short work of making myself presentable. I finished putting on the lotion and then went back to my bathroom where I put on my necklace, put on some deodorant, and quickly brushed my teeth and washed my face. Since I had already made a first impression, I decided to wear my I Love Cat Naps pajamas.
I was heading to my bedroom door when I heard a thud followed by raised voices. I flung my door open when I heard Nugget start to scream.
What in the hot holy hell?
A/N: Thank you for reading! Please take the time to leave a review. It's appreciated!