Chapter Twenty-Four
Emma couldn't be sure how long she remained in the backroom of Granny's holding her stomach after Neal Cassidy vacated the room.
It was an eerily familiar situation to be in.
When she was eighteen cradling her pregnant bump in a prison cell, it didn't take much to parse out her feelings for the man. He'd promised her a home and the first real shot at family she'd ever gotten and then left her to be arrested, cementing the worldview that would carry her through the next decade.
The same worldview that was decimated upon receiving the results of the DNA test.
She no longer held tightly onto the notion that it was better to be alone, she would have fled Storybrooke long ago if she had.
Of course, the closest thing she'd ever had to breakfast with her slowly forming family had to be interrupted so unceremoniously.
Tamsin kicked under her hand, so violently that it was almost as if she was objecting to her thoughts of Neal.
It was primarily thinking about how badly she wished he could go away and she could musically go back to pretending that her first child was the progeny of a firefighter rather than a liar.
Something unexpected was creeping in though.
His announcement of his engagement had thrown her more than it should have, to the extent that she had failed to indicate that she was technically single when mentioning her True Love.
Why should it matter what Neal would think about the awkward, stumbling way that she was navigating through her strange relationship with the mother of her children?
Attempting to figure out her feelings towards him led her to one thing she was sure of: she wanted to talk to Regina and Henry and for them to assure her that this had not changed how they felt about her.
That currently seemed unlikely to happen anytime soon so she moved on to her next course of action; she needed to get to work. Hopefully, there would be some good old public disturbances to occupy her time?
Her back objected firmly as she pushed out of the chair, closing her eyes as she put her hand onto her stomach again while she implored in a desperate whisper, "Come on, Tam, please settle down, I promise I'll talk to Mommy later."
The kicking abruptly stopped, making her too grateful to comprehend how she had casually referred to Regina as 'mommy' for the first time as she dragged herself to the exit.
Her prayers for a busy patrol halted as soon as she re-entered the main diner and felt multiple sets of eyes on her, ranging from quick glances to full-on stares born from unadulterated curiosity and judgment.
Emma had thought that living in a small town was something she had gotten used to but its effects were amplified by its inhabitants remembering their fairytale personas, some of whom seemed to think they were entitled to details about their royalty's personal lives.
Swallowing hard, she scanned the diner in the futile hope that she would find that Henry and Regina had returned.
That, naturally, would have been too simple, but she did land on a person she hadn't thought about after smiling tightly at an overtly sympathetic Ruby Lucas.
Mary Margaret briefly looked over her shoulder before rushing to turn back to her coffee.
Emma tilted her head at the action, not expecting her mother to be so willing to give her the chance to leave without a word.
Curiosity got the better of her, as well as the desire to talk to someone, so she changed course over to the counter, slipping onto the stool.
Her head remained tilted as she took in the untouched, steamless drink clutched between her hands in a vice-like grip.
"Hey," Emma greeted.
Mary Margaret opened and closed her mouth, considering her words for longer than she ever had before, she replied, "Hello, Emma. Are you…okay?"
The woman sounded worried despite the simplicity of the question, making Emma sure that she'd finally done something to dampen her mother's enthusiasm to talk to her.
Being with her worst enemy, and unfortunately learning the vivid details before either of them were aware of what they biologically were to each other, was bad enough.
They'd been strained as it was, but lying to her grandson may have been too much.
What if it was too much for Regina?
Shaking her head to reject the useless question, Emma replied, resignedly, "It's complicated."
Mary Margaret nodded slowly, raising her mug to her lips contemplatively, opting not to press.
Emma frowned, did she no longer want to know everything about her by asking a million inappropriate questions in quick succession?
Thinking back to easier times (less than an hour ago) before she would have spared Neal Cassidy a thought, Emma remembered her desire to ask Regina if Mary Margaret had followed her to the restroom as it had appeared.
With Regina hopefully somewhere comforting a distraught Henry, there was another person she could get the information from with the benefit of changing the situation occupying the majority of her mental capacity.
"Were you threatening Regina again?" Emma asked.
Mary Margaret's face crumpled indignantly, finally letting go of her coffee, abandoning her bizarrely calm demeanour in an instant.
"I have never…" she began indignantly before she deflated, joining her eyebrows reflectively, "Actually I suppose I did, but…after the curse was broken I just…"
Not interested in a weeks-old justification, Emma held up her hand and clarified, "I saw you follow her into the restroom. Was it to confront her again? Because I really don't need you to defend my honour, Mary Margaret."
The princess blew out a breath, splaying her hands onto the counter as she replied, obviously disbelieving her own words while somehow telling the truth, "I was..asking her for some…advice."
Adjusting on the stool, realising that this was going to be a longer conversation than she had anticipated, Emma asked, shocked, "Really? About what?"
"Well…about you," Snow admitted, almost shyly, "I wanted to know the best way to…to talk to you. To figure out how to be…mother and daughter."
Officially taken aback, Emma looked at the woman refusing eye contact like she was expecting to be denigrated when she had just decimated all of Emma's worries that she was in the process of giving up on her like everyone else had over her lifetime.
She wouldn't have voluntarily spoken with the Evil Queen if it wasn't important to her. Emma still felt a pang of resentment following the truth about Daniel, but it was hypocritical to allow this to paint her opinion of Snow White while she was so willing to be around Regina.
Then there were her own questionable choices, it was more important than usual to believe in forgiveness.
Interest officially piqued, Emma asked, "And…what did Regina say?"
"She suggested that I not push, but make sure that you know that I am here if you need me," Mary Margaret explained.
Emma leaned back, holding the edge of the counter so that she stayed firmly on the stool, disarmed by a swathe of adoration for Regina.
They had spent a lot of time together recently but in the grand scheme they had not known each other for that long, and yet, Regina had known the perfect answer to that question.
With this knowledge making her feel lighter, Emma encouraged, "Well, you've made a good start…you haven't even mentioned Neal yet."
Mary Margaret's eyes grew minutely, blowing out a breath as she said, so that each word was hardly distinct, "If you prefer to discuss it, I would completely understand."
"I…" Emma trailed off, wanting to take that offer and ask for more information about Regina's exact words but she sensed that getting stuck on that particular topic wouldn't do much to put her mother at ease Besides, she was going to have this conversation later, perhaps more than once, so what was the harm in a dry run?
The words began leaving her mouth before he could weigh the pros and cons for too long, though she stuck strictly to the facts, not injecting any of the feelings that she had along the tumultuous road from car thief to bail bonds person.
If she illustrated how lonely, hopeless and betrayed she had been in the prison cell. She could imagine the precise way in which her forehead would crease under the weight of her sympathy and guilt.
The last thing she wanted this tale to become about was Snow White's sorrow over putting her through that damn wardrobe.
The sparse nature of the events didn't deter the expression from overcoming the woman who let out a pained sigh. Emma swiftly said, to stop any verbal attempt to express the despair coming over her at what she'd just learned about her daughter's past, "What if Henry can't forgive me?
Mary Margaret dragged her teeth over her bottom lip, apparently making a concerted effort to stick to only the question she was asked, "He will just give him time and be honest with him?"
Emma nodded, pushing in response to the decent answer, "And Regina?"
"Can't judge anyone for having a complicated past," she replied without the same pause she gave to the first question, inevitably breaking her streak of good answers. Emma stared back, doing nothing to hide how unimpressed she was, so Mary Margaret sighed, cringing, "I was doing well until that, wasn't I?"
Relenting her annoyance, Emma shrugged, also sighing, "At least you're trying."
Mary Margaret wrapped her hands around the mug again before she asked, "Were you going to work?"
Seeing the burgeoning hope radiating from her, Emma knew that this was more of a plea not to leave the counter while they were carrying on an actual conversation.
"I have some time," she assured.
Mary Margaret perked up but made a show of slumping her shoulders to not appear as excited as she truly was. Emma couldn't help the smile tugging at her lips as a result.
Regina was gradually teaching her to accept another person putting in so much effort but it hit differently coming from the mother her younger self would dream of.
"Would you like some coffee?" Mary Margaret asked, failing to keep the excitement out of her voice.
"I would love to," she lamented, "But I've already reached my caffeine limit for today."
Mary Margaret's eyes flicked down to her protruding stomach but thankfully didn't launch into the litany of queries that Emma had thus far failed to answer about her plans for Tamsin.
"Tea?" she suggested.
"I guess it's my only option," Emma sighed and the other woman raised her hand to beckon Ruby over.
Emma leaned forward, folding her arms over the counter as Mary Margaret ordered two teas.
In spite of the implosion of her perfect morning, Emma couldn't help but think how nice it was to sit with her mother.
She may be unable to offer a solution but at least she now had no doubts about how much she cared.
S
As it turned out, her shift at the station was figuratively the longest she'd ever had.
She hadn't received a single call regarding Leroy, Pongo or any other misdemeanour crime that occurred in Storybrooke and she struggled to find any meaningful administrative work to override thoughts of what she was going to need to do.
She started out by staring at the ceiling, going on a couple slow patrols but she resisted heading to the stables after receiving a text message from Regina explaining that Henry was safe and that she was taking him to ride Hooper.
It was supposed to be a monumental moment in his work at the stables, rewarding him for all of his commitment by letting him finally get onto the horse, not a distraction from learning that the saviour he idolised was a liar.
She couldn't go and see him just because she knew where he was, not until he was ready to talk to her.
Assuming that he ever wanted to.
The next text message she received a few hours later would seem to indicate that this wouldn't be happening today.
Henry was choosing to stay with his grandparents tonight.
The message didn't mention whether Regina wanted to see her but the implication seemed to be that she wouldn't be welcomed at the loft.
She drafted a few responses to the other woman but there was no casual way to ask if she was welcome in the mansion after the appearance of her ex-boyfriend.
On the other hand, they were not together so she owed no explanation about her ghosts of relationship past, but on the other hand, that just wasn't true.
The wriggling in her stomach was a near-constant reminder of this undeniable fact.
They were not together but their actions when in each other's presence were hardly congruent with friendship.
She did need to tell Regina anything she needed to know, especially since the woman was already aware of the facts of what happened to her to end up in prison.
She could give her the emotional side of the tale after she allowed the story of Daniel Colter to be so easily pried from her.
What worried her most was that Regina wouldn't want to hear it.
Her loyalty would presumably always be to Henry?
Never before had she wished so deeply that she'd long ago into her desires to kiss Regina
This would mean that there was a good chance that they would be a couple by now and her place in their family would make more sense.
With Tamsin continuing to kick as she went to leave the station, it slashed any chance that she would entertain the notion that she could get a room at Granny's B&B.
No matter how well she had slept the night before, this had been an exhausting day so she knew exactly where and next to whom she wanted to rest tonight.
She gripped her steering wheel as she turned into the mayoral mansion's driveway, mentally scripting how she would take it if Regina sent her away, or worse yet, didn't answer the door.
Why hadn't she accepted the key when it was offered to her so freely? She wouldn't have had to worry about the barrier keeping her outside.
She came up with a few responses ranging from claiming to understand to allowing hormones to take over so she would inevitably burst into tears.
This occupied her mind thoroughly enough that she wasn't overthinking each step towards the door or the motion to raise her hand to knock in quick succession.
Emma folded her hands behind her back, counting each second with increasing pressure digging into her bottom lip.
As she got to ten, it edged on painful until the door opened and she let out the breath lodged in her chest as the woman who had been on her mind for most of the day at last materialised in front of her.
She almost completely relaxed, but her palms became wet while taking in the unreadable expression written across Regina's face.
Usually, she could generally tell what Regina Mills was thinking, but on this occasion, she had absolutely no idea.
In the next couple of seconds, she didn't know which of her mental scenarios she would be going with, though there was a suspicious wetness pricking at her eyes.
Regina widening the door prevented any of it from coming out, it was as clear an invitation as any other.
Emma had never before been so relieved that she wouldn't be spending her time alone.
She followed the other woman inside, scratching the back of her neck, "Hey, I wasn't sure if you were expecting me tonight."
Regina tilted her head, turning back to the sheriff who had interrupted their routine of heading to the kitchen.
The former mayor's eyes flicked up and down the saviour as she replied, unsurely, "Of course I was expecting you, Emma. You still want to be here, don't you?"
Emma's brow furrowed before her eyebrows shot up, realising the connotation of Regina's words.
Did she think that Neal had any real impact on…whatever they had beyond the strange tumble of what she could only describe as 'emotion' to his presence?
It was far too tangled with their past to be sure what it was she was feeling exactly but the same did not apply looking at Regina now.
This thought was followed swiftly by the fact that Regina was unaware that Neal was engaged. It felt like the best way to assure her that there was no chance that he would be anything more than Henry's biological father to her.
The possibility that Regina thought she could be with another person propelled her across the foyer to stand directly in front of her, breathing a sigh of relief as she took her hand into both of her own.
Staring directly into the vulnerable brown eyes, Emma said as empathetic as she could, "He may be my…be Henry's…father, but he isn't my True Love."
Regina's eyes dropped low enough that she had to be looking at her lips and Emma waited hopefully that she would go for it, despite knowing that the older woman was waiting for verbal confirmation that she was ready.
Disappointment reigned as Regina stepped back but it didn't give way to an audible sigh because their hands remained connected while Regina began heading towards the dining room.
"I have prepared a light dinner if you're hungry?" Regina announced as they arrived at the impeccably presented salad, with two plates already set out.
It was exactly what Emma needed after a day of nervous nausea and something made her sure that Regina knew that.
Their joined hands slipped apart, Regina sitting down regally in her usual chair.
Emma hung back, shoving her hands into her pockets while surveying the dining room, overwhelmed by the experience of having a place where she was welcome (and expected) after a bad day.
Regina tilted her head again, freezing in the process of dishing out the meal, "Is everything okay, darling?"
The term of endearment destroyed the small chance they wouldn't be discussing the elephant in the room (or was it the elephant in the town?).
"Aren't you mad at me?" Emma asked in a small voice.
Regina placed the serving spoon down to provide her full attention and replied, "Why would I be mad at you, Emma?"
Kicking the floor, Emma shrugged, "Because you know…he's here.."
Regina sighed deeply but maintained her usual upright posture in spite of her clear reluctance to harper on this particular topic.
All the same, she apparently had a response ready to go, presumably also having spent the day thinking this over, "You did not invite him here and I never asked you about Henry's father, it is not me who is…mad about his presence."
Taking the calmness of this statement as an invitation, Emma crossed the distance to take up her seat directly next to Regina and prodded, "So…you're fine with him?"
Regina drew in a long, pensive breath before replying, thoughtfully, "I admit I am not…happy about it but Henry has made it clear to me that it does not change the way he sees me. What happens next is really up to him."
Emma nodded slowly, glad to have someone who mostly knew how to externally act reasonably if she was using her political experience to hide any real annoyance at the situation.
She got the distinct sense that she was hiding some ire but it meant a lot that she cared enough to try.
It was the reason that she decided not to ask yet about Neal formally meeting Henry, there was a subject that had a higher priority in her mind.
Looking down, she said, "You told me about Daniel. I should have told you about him…I'm sorry…"
"Emma, you do not owe me any tale you are not ready to tell," Regina reassured, pressing her palm against her knee, "We are…not…"
"We are having a baby and we sort of share a son," Emma halted the attempt to excuse her actions, "If I knew who Neal's dad is, I would have…"
Regina's hand went higher to squeeze her elbow and implored, "Could you tell me now?"
Emma licked her dry lips giving Regina eye contact again while deciding how far to go back.
She ended up starting with seeing the yellow bug for the first time all the way to her sentencing and pregnancy test, sprinkling in details provided by Neal that morning that Emma's younger self had not been privy to at the time.
Regina listened raptly, at some point slipping her hand downward to tangle their fingers, helping Emma to get the story out in its entirety.
As it came to an end, Emma looked back expectantly, not at all sure what she was expecting.
It was nowhere near as tragic as Regina's past but it did involve a betrayal from a person who claimed to care about them.
Regina pulled her chair closer and used her other hand to wipe her thumb across her cheek as she said, "Oh Emma, that is…I am so sorry."
Emma sniffed, "Why are you sorry?"
"If not for my curse…"
The rest of the sentence was cut off by Emma sealing their lips together in a slow kiss, made all the better as she cradled Regina's head to pull her further in.
It took Regina a few seconds to lightly push her back, her eyes closed as she warned, "Emma…"
"This isn't because I'm vulnerable," Emma assured, refusing to move her hand from behind Regina's neck, "I promise I have been thinking about this for a while."
Regina swallowed hard, her resolve crumbling before Emma's eyes, she asked, "Are you sure?"
All doubt fled Emma, the freedom of kissing Regina again crashing over her, especially after the other woman's instinct to apologise for what she could only be indirectly blamed for.
"More sure than I am about anything right now, Regina," Emma breathed.
This was enough for Regina to allow herself to be pulled back in so that their lips could touch again, their dinner completely forgotten.
With the pressure of Regina kissing her back, she forgot about everything else, enjoying the bliss of True Love's kiss.
Tomorrow she would have to figure out how to get her son to talk to her again and how Neal and his fiancee would fit into Storybrooke.
For now, nothing felt complicated at all.