Chapter 11: A conversation at High Table
"Good evening, Neville," said Flitwick. "I really enjoyed meeting Ellie. She's great."
"Thanks," said Neville, "I like her."
"Let me give you some advice," said Flitwick.
"Are you trying to give Longbottom dating advice?" said McGonagall. "You've been single for decades."
"Yes, but I've been a very keen observer of relationships," said Flitwick
"You do realize he's talking about student relationships," said McGonagall.
"You're in exactly the same boat, Minerva," said Flitwick.
"What's the advice?" asked Neville.
"Don't screw this up, Neville. I've spent the last thirty years observing teens fall in and out of love. Every once in a while, I see a certain spark, a couple that, despite all odds, ends up making it. I think you and Ellie are one of those."
"Neville, you should listen," said McGonagall. "He's predicted at least ten marriages over the years. He is usually the one to beat in the pools."
"Wait a second," said Evan, "You take bets on student relationships."
"It's been known to happen," said Flitwick. "We have to have some fun."
"Tell me about the girl," said McGonagall.
"Her name is Ellie Banks. She's a muggle primary teacher," replied Neville.
"She's Peter Banks's daughter," said Flitwick.
"Peter Banks. He's Rosmerta's brother- born without magic."
"Yes, but all of his siblings and his parents are magical. They own the biggest hotel chain in the wizarding world and a one of the biggest in the muggle world."
"How did you meet?" asked McGonagall.
"We met at the Crown in Hogsmeade. The non-magical pub. They have great shepherd's pie."
"Well, if you have to date a muggle, at least she knows our world exists," said McGonagall. "I'm not saying it will be easy, but it is easier for muggles if they have some inkling we exist, or if they can accept the idea."
"And what happens if they can't accept it?" said Neville.
"The relationship ends in heartbreak and a visit from the Ministry who performs a confundus or obliviate charm," said McGonagall.
"I've found that there seem to be two categories of muggles dealing with magic," said Flitwick. Those who have an open mind seem to handle it pretty well. Then there are those who cannot deal with it all. I see it all the time with parents of muggle borns."
"My mother said that magic explained a great deal," said Evan. "Dad was just thrilled that Hogwarts was cheaper than Winchester, his old public school."
"What about the other kind of parents? Do they reject magic or child?"
"The cases where muggles are closed-minded are the hardest. Often times, the kid has been punished for displaying magic and is misunderstood. In those cases, we don't mention magic. The child gets enrolled in St. Brutus's, the muggle cover-name. If we have to get the child out early, we do."
"Fortunately, those seem to be the exception rather than the rule," said McGonagall. "In many ways, the only difference between magical and muggle is how we do things. We're all human,"
"I know," said Neville. "Sometimes it seems like muggle and magical people are the same. Other times it feels like there is a deep gulf between us. It makes navigating relationships difficult. I wish I could bring her here one day."
"It's true," said Seamus, "the muggle-magical divide can certainly kill a relationship."
"Somehow my parents made it work," said Evan.
"Headmistress, do you still do the very limited tours for muggle parents?"
"Yes," said McGonagall, "but we only do it once a year, and even then, it is only for prospective muggle parents and students. They have to sign a magical contract, go through the ministry of magic. The tour is still limited to the Great Hall, the keep, and a classroom or two."
"From what I can remember, that was enough for my parents," said Evan.
"If we do tours for muggle parents, does that mean we are accredited in the muggle world?"
"Of course, we are," said McGonagall. "In fact, we have an excellent OFSTED score."
"I think that, and low fees are what sold my parents. Well, that and the fact that my magical antics would have gotten me kicked out of muggle school," said Evan.
"True," said McGonagall. "Our fees are quite reasonable. The other problem is that muggle schools have no clue what to do when a magical outburst happens. It's why we set up our schools the way we did. If you remember your history, you might remember that the magical world had a formal education system in place centuries before muggles did."
"So maybe Ellie could come on the one day we open it to muggle parents," said Seamus.
"This girl must be something special," said McGonagall. "I'll see what can be arranged."
"You know, when we were sixth years, you would have just borrowed Harry's cloak and snuck her in," said Seamus.
"You might have," said Neville. "I would have been too scared of breaking the Statute of Secrecy."
"Do you really think that your professors wouldn't catch on," said McGonagall. "I mean, I know you think you got away with everything without professors knowing, but you didn't."
"So, you knew about things that went on?"
"This is Hogwarts. DO you have any idea how chatty the pictures can be?"
"Sometimes, I just didn't want to deal with punishing students," said Flitwick. "And if you think you're the first to consider sneaking a muggle into Hogwarts, you aren't. I've lost count of the number of muggle teens that I've had to oblivate over the years. There are always one or two students who try to sneak their girlfriend or boyfriend in at times."
"What happens if you get caught?"
"The student gets points deducted, has to serve detention, and gets a lecture from Binns and the Head on why the statute exists. The muggle gets oblivated and is usually too scared to come back."
"What about muggle family members?"
"That can be taken care of through the ministry. There's also the fact that no one in the muggle world would believe them."
"Oh boy," said Neville. "This isn't going to be as easy as I thought."
"No but is anything really worthwhile easy?" said McGonagall. "Plus, it is still early in the relationship. You've got plenty of time to figure it out."