Shadow Over Hellmouth Chapter 35: Homecoming, a buffy: the vampire slayer fanfic

"Homecoming"

Based on the Episode Written by David Greenwalt

At the Bronze, Buffy, Tara, and Cordelia were sitting at the bar, nursing sodas and snacks. Cordelia was preoccupied as she idly played with a cookie. Harmony, Amy, and Katrina walked behind them and took a place at the end of the bar.

Harmony smiled. "I think we should get a limo."

"A limo?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah!" Harmony replied.

"A big, expensive limo?" Amy asked.

Katrina smiled. "That sounds like fun! And it is our last homecoming dance, so maybe we should make a big deal of it."

Tara frowned. "Limos are gas guzzlers. They should be outlawed."

Buffy shrugged. "Well, if it's a dollar issue, we could all take my van."

Cordelia gave Buffy a disbelieving look. "Van? The Homecoming Queen doesn't go to the dance in a van. Use your head."

Tara rolled her eyes.

Harmony looked at Cordelia. "Well, technically, you haven't been elected yet..."

Cordelia gave her a look.

"Although you certainly and without a doubt will be." Harmony looked at the others. "Who else likes a limo?"

Katrina looked at Buffy. "If we all split the cost..."

Buffy shrugged. "Um...maybe."

Cordelia sighed. "Scott hasn't asked me to the homecoming dance yet."

"Oh, um...well, I just...I assumed that you would think it was corny or something, but I-I'm in...I mean, you know, if you are, if you want to."

Cordelia turned around to see Scott standing behind her. "Uh, sure...I do. You know, i-if you want to."

"Well, I do if you want to. Do you want me to get you another drink?"

"Um...no, actually. Uh...I-I'm a little tired. I think I'm gonna call it a night. But I'm excited about the dance." Cordelia smiled.

"Me, too."

Cordelia leaned toward him, tugged gently on his jacket, and kissed him on the lips.

Cordelia, holding a small paper bag, walked through the atrium of Angel's mansion. The drapes were whipped aside, and Angel jumped back a little, startled.

"I-It's just me." Cordelia held out the bag. "Here."

Angel took the bag and opened it as he walked back into the room. Cordelia followed him in but kept her distance. There was a fire going in the fireplace. Angel remained faced away from her. He pulled a quart-sized clear plastic container out of the bag. It was filled with blood. Angel lifted it to his nose and sniffed.

"How are you feeling?" Cordelia asked him.

Angel jerked his head away slightly from the tub of blood, then lowered it to take off the lid. "It hurts...less."

"Good." Cordelia was unsure how to continue. She turned around and took a few steps away before facing him again. "I haven't...told Giles and the others that...you're back."

"Giles..." Angel remained faced away from her.

"And I'm not going to. Not yet. I don't know how they'd react - especially Giles. They might not understand that you're...better. Buffy knows, because she saw you last month, but she's agreed to keep the secret. A-A-And I'm gonna keep helping you get better. It's just that everything's different now. I'm a senior. I'm really working harder in school." Cordelia smirked slightly. "I'm even thinking about college. A-And I'm involved with someone."

This caused Angel to turn around and give her a surprised look. Cordelia started and took a step back. He reached out and straightened the lapel of her leather jacket. Cordelia took it from him, and he let go. He turned away again, wincing from his body aches as he did so.

"His name is Scott. He's a nice, solid guy. He makes me happy...and that's what I need: someone I can count on."

"I don't think we should see each other anymore."

Cordelia was taken aback. "You don't?" She was confused. "When did this happen? Where was I?"

It was the next day, and they were standing in an outside hall at school.

"Cordy, it's just...before we were going out, you - you seemed so...full of life, like a force of nature. Now, you just seem distracted all the time, and-"

"Yeah, I know, it's...I'm getting better. Honest. In fact, from here on, you are gonna see a drastic distraction reduction."

Scott didn't react at all to her attempt at a joke.

"'Drastic distraction reduction.' Try saying that ten times fast."

"I'm really sorry." Scott started walking away sadly.

Cordelia just watched him go, and then she walked slowly and sadly.

Later, yearbook pictures were being taken in the lounge. After their pictures were taken, Tara, Amy, and Katrina started to walk out of the lounge. They reached Cordelia, who was looking at the other girls that were running for Homecoming Queen.

"Whatcha doin'?" Amy asked her.

Cordelia started and faced her. "Checking out the I-laughingly-use-the-phrase competition."

She looked over at Holly, an Asian girl with long brown hair, playing with her hair and talking to a couple of boys.

"Holly Charleston: nice girl, brain-dead, doesn't have a prayer."

She shifted her gaze to Michelle, a girl with long blonde hair, who was handing out campaign flyers.

"Michelle Blake: open to all mankind, especially those with a letterman jacket and a car." Cordelia looked at Amy, concerned. "She could give me a run." She crossed her arms.

"Where's Buffy?" Tara asked. "She's gonna miss the yearbook pictures."

Katrina smiled. "Buffy and Faith are in the library, getting all sweaty."

Cordelia suppressed a giggle. "They're training. I'll go and remind her. I have to go to the nurse's office for an ice pack, anyway."

"Did you hurt yourself?" Katrina asked her.

Cordelia smiled. "No, silly. It shrinks the pores!" She walked off.

In the library, Faith held up her padded hands as Buffy threw several punches to them. After a particularly hard punch, Faith had to shake out her hand and take off the pads.

"Goddamn! You throw some wicked punches, B!" Faith exclaimed.

"Thank you." Buffy headed toward the book cage.

Faith followed and set down the pads. Buffy picked up her jacket and pulled it on.

Cordelia walked into the library. "Buffy, yearbook photos, lounge."

Buffy looked at Cordelia. "Thanks." She left the library.

"Hey, C, how are you holdin' up?" Faith asked.

Cordelia shrugged. "I'm trying not to think about it. It hurts my brain. I mean...who in their right mind would dump me?"

Faith wiped her cheek with a towel. "Well, fuck him, all right? You move on, and...you party heavily, and you'll be fine. I mean...you're still going to that dance, right?"

Cordelia opened a juice bottle. "Maybe." She took a swallow.

"You got the tix already. Why don't we go together?" Faith suggested.

Cordelia closed the bottle. "I don't know about that." She smiled.

"Come on. We'll find a couple studs, we'll use 'em and...discard 'em. That's always fun." Faith nodded and took a swig of her own drink.

"Okay, I'm in. Not the stud-using part, though." Cordelia smirked and rolled her eyes. "Or...probably not."

Later, in the quad, Buffy noticed a teacher come down the stairs while looking over some reports and ran up to her.

"Ms. Moran?"

The teacher looked up.

"Hi!" Buffy smiled. "I'm so glad that I ran into you."

They walked slowly.

"Um, I had this little incident last year of getting kicked out of school. And I'm back now, though; I've done all of my makeup tests; but I still need one written recommendation from a teacher. I think the word that Principal Snyder used was 'glowing'." Buffy smiled awkwardly. "Uh, to put in my file, so I can prove that I belong here."

Ms. Moran was confused. "And, um, you are...?"

Buffy was taken aback. "Buffy. B-Buffy Summers. Third row. I sat by the window. Uh, your class: Contemporary American Heroes from Amelia Earhart to Maya Angelou. The class that changed my life?"

"Were you absent a lot, um...?"

"Buffy?" Buffy reminded her.

In the cafeteria, Tara and Buffy were sitting at a table. Buffy just stared off into space while Tara picked at her food.

Cordelia walked over to a student, holding out a flyer, and touched her on the arm. "Hi. I hope you'll consider me for Homecoming Queen." She walked off.

"I can't believe it. My favorite teacher, and she didn't even remember who I was. I'm like a non-person." Buffy looked at Tara. "Am I invisible?" She waved her hand in front of her. "Can you see me?"

"Big as life."

"At Hemery, I was Prom Princess, I was Fiesta Queen, I was on the cheerleading squad. And the yearbook was, like, a story of me. Now, it's senior year, and I'm going to be one shitty picture on one-eighth of one shitty page." Buffy settled her gaze on a campaigning Cordelia.

Cordelia handed a flyer to a student. "Thanks for your support." She smiled and walked over to the group's table. "Buffy, you look so cute in that outfit."

"You've already got my vote, Cordy."

"Good, I am under a lot of pressure here."

"Oh, yeah, campaigning. Rough gig."

"What would you know about it? Just because you were Guacamole Queen when you were three doesn't mean you understand how this works."

"Obviously, it involves handing out entirely lame flyers."

"No. It involves being part of this school. Now, if it was about monsters, blood, and innards, then you'd be a shoo-in. I'd like to see you try to win the crown."

"You would?" Buffy asked her, then stood up. "Then you will."

"What does that mean?" Cordelia asked.

"I'm gonna show you how it's done. I'm gonna run for Homecoming Queen, and I'm going to win."

"This is starting to be sad."

Buffy shook her head. "Sorry, Cordy, but you have no idea who you're fucking with."

"What? The Slayer?"

"I'm not talking about the Slayer. I'm talking about Buffy. You've awakened my inner Sydney Rutledge. And that crown is going to be mine."

"Buffy?" Tara asked.

Buffy looked at her.

Tara shook her head. "N-Never mind."

"No, what is it?" Buffy asked her.

"It's just...well, it's Homecoming Queen. Do you think anybody's gonna care in a year?" Tara asked her.

Buffy was confused. "You don't want me to have a happy high school memory?"

"I just...don't want you to be dragged down to her level."

Cordelia frowned at Tara. "Thanks."

"S-Sorry." Tara tried to think of a more tactful way of making her point. "It's just...high school politics. Stupid, temporary high school politics. We'll be pretty much irrelevant as soon as we graduate, and, within four years, there won't be a student here that ever met any of us. If we attend college, no admissions office is gonna give a shit about who was Homecoming Queen. No employer is gonna give a shit. I-I just don't think it's worth expending so much time and energy trying to achieve temporary glory that ultimately won't mean anything to anybody except yourself."

Buffy found this conversation familiar and realized Tara had expressed similar sentiments when Buffy had tried out for the cheerleading squad during their sophomore year. She thought about it for a while and then looked at Cordelia. "I withdraw my challenge." She sat back down.

Cordelia stared at them for a while, suddenly feeling a bit shallow, and then went on campaigning.

The next day, at Sunnydale High, Cordelia walked down the stairs to the quad with a bounce in her step. At the bottom, she faked dropping her stack of flyers. Scott quickly kneeled down to pick them up.

"Sorry."

"Here."

He handed her the flyers, and they both stood back up.

Scott looked at the flyers. "For what it's worth, you have my vote."

Cordelia smiled. "Thank you."

Scott nodded his head back at her and left.

Cordelia smiled to herself and pulled out her campaign notebook. She opened it to a list of names and checked off Scott's name. She closed it, noticed another boy coming, and tossed her flyers on the ground again, making like it was an accident. The boy bent down to pick them up.

After securing his vote, Cordelia noticed the bulletin board on which Holly and Michelle each had a flyer posted. Cordelia walked up to the board and posted her much larger flyer right on top of theirs.

Later, in the quad, Holly was about to offer a brownie to a boy when Cordelia walked up to him and gave him a huge chocolate cupcake. She gave him a radiant smile and then smiled smugly to herself as she walked off.

After giving away two more chocolate cupcakes, Cordelia walked over to a column to post a flyer. Michelle walked up to the two students and smiled brightly as she handed them each a basket full of sweets and chocolates. Michelle then held open a bag for them to dump their cupcakes into. Cordelia watched as Michelle stepped over to a trashcan and dropped the bag into it. Michelle gave her a smug look and smiled before walking off.

Later, Buffy was walking with Tara in a hall.

"So...I spoke to the limo people, and we're all set for tomorrow night. They'll pick up Faith, then me and you, then Cordy, then Harmony, then Amy, then Trina."

Tara nodded. "Cool. And our gear?"

"I'll bring it to the gym later today."

They passed Jonathan Levinson, who took a big bite out of a chocolate cupcake as he walked slowly along.

Cordelia was walking with him with her arm around his shoulders. "You know, Jonathan, I've always felt a special bond between you and me."

"Michelle gave me six bucks."

They stopped walking.

"That buys a whole lotta cupcakes." Jonathan took another bite.

On Saturday night, Buffy was wearing her rented black tuxedo, black dress shoes, a white button-up dress shirt, and a black tie. Tara was dressed similarly. They walked down the steps from the porch and walked over to the limousine waiting for them on the street. The driver held open the door for them, and Buffy got in. Buffy looked next to her and found Cordelia sitting there, wearing a green satin dress with a corsage on her wrist.

"What's going on here? Where's Faith?" Buffy asked her.

Cordelia shrugged. "Dunno. Maybe there was a mix-up. But we gotta pick her up and get our asses to the dance. I got you this gig, y'know."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "I know."

Tara bent over and looked into the limousine. "Hey, do you mind if I skip out on the limo?"

Buffy was confused. "But you pitched in."

"I know, but I figured, if I take your van, I can pack up our gear and bring it home after the dance. Save you a trip."

Buffy smiled. "Good thinking. Thanks, babe."

Tara smiled, kissed Buffy on the lips, and backed out of the limousine. She went back into the house to grab Buffy's keys.

The driver closed the door.

Buffy looked around and noticed the corsage waiting for her in a small box between them. "They bought us corsages?"

Cordelia shrugged. "I took the orchid."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Okay."

The driver got in and started the car. He put the car in gear and drove off.

The limousine drove at a steady speed along a lonely stretch of road in the woods.

"I don't see what the big deal is."

Buffy looked at Cordelia. "I'm not making a big deal. You wanted the orchid, you got the orchid."

"It goes with my complexion better."

The driver pulled the limousine to the side of the road and stopped.

"It does have that sallow tint." Buffy noticed the car stop. "What's going on?"

They heard the driver's door slam and his footsteps as he ran off. Buffy gave Cordelia a concerned look. She opened her door and got out of the car. Cordelia got out behind her and swung the door shut. They looked around, surprised to find themselves in the middle of the woods.

"What is this?" Cordelia asked. "Okay, guys, we've had enough of your stupid little game!"

Buffy noticed a VCR and a monitor waiting for them on a rock. "What's massively wrong with this picture?"

They walked up to it. A sign on the VCR read "Press Play", which Buffy did.

A black man appeared on the screen. "Hello, ladies. Welcome to SlayerFest '98."

Buffy and Cordelia stared at the monitor in disbelief.

"What is a SlayerFest, you ask? Well, as in most of life, there's the hunters and the hunted. Can you guess where you two fall? From the beginning of this tape, you have exactly thirty seconds-" He checked his watch. "-no, that's seventeen now - to run for your lives." He smiled. "Faith...Buffy...have a nice death."

The picture faded to black, and the word "SlayerFest" appeared in red and white.

"Hello! How stupid are you people?" Cordelia pointed at Buffy. "She's a Slayer." She put her hand to her chest. "I'm a Homecoming Queen!"

They heard a distant gunshot, and an instant later the monitor exploded. Cordelia gasped in fright, and the two of them began to run.

With the exception of Faith (who Jenny drove), the rest of the gang drove to the homecoming dance in the school gym and soon realized Buffy and Cordelia hadn't yet arrived.

"Where are they?" Katrina asked.

Tara shook her head. "I don't know."

Amy was idly nibbling on a finger sandwich. "Should we go on?"

"Without Buffy?" Tara asked in surprise.

Faith walked up behind them. "Any word?"

Harmony looked at her. "None. Guys, I think you better take the stage." She walked off.

Faith glanced around and saw Scott behind her, dancing with a girl.

Faith looked at Tara, indicating behind them. "Asshole!" She huffed and walked off.

Giles found them and rushed up behind them. "We have to find Buffy. Something terrible's happened."

Tara, Amy, and Katrina looked at him, upset by this news.

Giles smiled. "Just kidding. Thought I'd give you a scare." He saw Amy's sandwich. "Are those finger sandwiches?" He went off to find the buffet table to get a few sandwiches of his own.

Buffy and Cordelia jogged through the woods at a brisk pace. Buffy scanned the forest around them as they went.

Cordelia just followed her. "I have an idea. We talk to these people, we explain that I'm not a Slayer, and they let me go."

They slowed to a walk. Buffy ignored Cordelia's comment and kept scanning around them. Cordelia looked down and saw Buffy was about to step into a bear trap.

"Look out!" Cordelia yelled.

With her fast Slayer reflexes, Buffy instantly lifted her foot back up, and the trap snapped shut empty.

Knowing someone must be near, Buffy grabbed Cordelia and pulled her to the ground. "Get down!"

A shot was fired and missed. Buffy grabbed the sprung trap and hurled it at the shooter. It hit him hard, and he staggered back and stepped into another bear trap. He grunted when it snapped shut on his leg. Buffy hurried over to him with Cordelia not far behind. He wore a werewolf pelt and a necklace of werewolf teeth. He reminded Buffy of Gib Cain. He looked human, but that didn't bother Buffy.

Buffy picked up his rifle and pointed it at him. "That's gotta hurt like a motherfucker."

He tried to pry open the trap.

"Now, I can let you out of that, or I can put a bullet in your head. How many are there in this little game, and what are they packing?" Buffy asked.

He just stared at her, refusing to speak. Buffy pumped a fresh round into the gun's chamber.

"There's me, two Germans with AR-15s and grenade launcher...yellow-skinned demon with long knives...vampire couple from Texas named Gorch."

"That everybody?" Buffy asked him.

"Everybody who's out here. Germans are wired. Their boss is tracking them on computer. Now, get me out of this!"

"Could I just ask you an eensy favor?" Cordelia asked him. "Could you just tell your friends that I'm not a Sla-"

Cordelia screamed and jumped back as the demon's serrated weapons sliced into the tree in front of her.

Giles selected a few finger sandwiches from the buffet table.

Jenny walked over to him. "Ooh, looks delicious, but I'm trying to cut down on my finger consumption."

Giles looked at her.

Jenny smiled. "I'm just fucking with you, Rupert."

Giles nodded and laughed awkwardly. "Ah, yes, uh, v-very clever."

Behind Jenny and Giles, Faith moved around the table and over to Scott. He was dancing slow and close with his date. Faith touched the couple, and they pulled apart.

"Scott? There you are, honey! Hey, good news." Faith put her hands on his chest. "The doctor says that the itching and the swelling and the burning should clear up, but we gotta keep using the ointment."

Scott's date wasn't sure what to make of that.

Faith turned to her and touched her on the shoulder. "Hi." She turned back to Scott, grabbed him by the lapels, and gave him a little pull. She let go of him and walked away.

Scott turned back to his date, thoroughly embarrassed. "Uh..."

Giles chewed on a bite of his finger sandwich and stepped over to Tara, Amy, and Katrina. "I suspect the, uh, finger food contains...actual fingers."

They didn't react.

"Is something wrong?" Giles asked them.

Tara looked at him. "Buffy and Cordelia haven't arrived."

Katrina looked at him. "The limo never picked us up. I called the police, but there haven't been any reports of crashes."

"Oh, I'm sure they're all right. Probably a flat tire or engine trouble or something. I-I-I think I'll retreat to the library until the coronation."

He got no reaction from any of them. Giles then headed out of the gym to go to his library.

Katrina started walking toward the stage. "All right, fuck it, we're going on."

Amy and Tara followed her.

"You sure?" Amy asked Katrina.

Katrina nodded. "Yeah, I can play a six-string."

They went up on the stage. Katrina cut the prerecorded music and adjusted the amplifier. Tara went and stood behind her keyboard, and Amy stood behind her drum machine.

Katrina picked up Buffy's guitar and turned on Buffy's microphone. "Hello. We're Buffy and the Slayerettes, uh, minus Buffy at the moment. Sorry for the delay. I'm Katrina Silber, and I'll be taking over on lead vocals and guitar until Buffy shows up. Tara Maclay on keyboard. Amy Madison on drums."

Buffy kicked the door into a run-down cabin in the woods, and she and Cordelia rushed in. Buffy held the rifle in one hand as she pushed the door shut with the other and pulled a chair over to barricade it. She started to go to each window to close the shutters and draw the drapes over them.

"We should be safe in here for a while. You need to find a weapon."

Cordelia was panting with fright. "Safe? I'm not safe. I'm gonna die!"

Buffy pulled back the drapes from another window to close its shutters, but it came loose in her hand and fell to the floor.

Buffy shrugged. "Yeah, you are if you just stand there." She pulled the drapes across to at least block the view and went on to do the rest of the windows.

Cordelia was sobbing. "I'm never gonna be crowned Homecoming Queen. I'm never gonna graduate from high school."

Buffy allowed her attention to be diverted by Cordelia for a moment. She sighed and went over to her. "Yes, you are. We are gonna get out of here, and we are gonna head back to the library, where Giles and the rest of the weapons live. Then I'm gonna take out the rest of these guys just in time for you to enjoy your sweeping victory as Homecoming Queen. So shut up for fuck's sake." She headed back to a window.

"I know what you're up to."

Buffy turned back to face her.

"You think, if you get me mad enough, I won't be so scared. And hey! It's working! Where's a damn weapon?" Cordelia looked around and saw an end table with drawers, walked over to it, and started searching for anything that she could use.

Buffy resumed her surveillance at the window. Cordelia found a spatula and took it over to Buffy.

"That's it?" Buffy asked her.

"Just this and a telephone."

"A telephone. And you didn't think that'd be helpful?"

"No, this is better for..." Cordelia swung it a few times and realized it probably wouldn't be of much use. "Oh." She sighed.

Buffy walked over to the phone and picked up the handset. She took out her book, opened it, and called Giles' office. The phone rang four times, and then it went to the answering machine.

"You've reached the Sunnydale High School Library. Please leave a message after the beep."

After Giles' message, the machine beeped.

"Giles, it's me...and Cordelia. We're in a cabin in Miller's Woods, and we're in big trouble. If you get this message, Giles, get help and get out here-"

The phone clicked and went dead.

"Hello?" Buffy asked.

"What happened?" Cordelia asked her.

"It went dead."

Giles walked into his office, noticed there was a message for him on his machine, and pressed the playback button. He took a sip of his tea as the machine rewound briefly, beeped, and played Buffy's message.

"Giles, it's me...and Cordelia. We're in a cabin in Miller's Woods, and we're in big trouble."

That's when Giles lost consciousness.

In the cabin, Cordelia sat down on a cot. "Why is it, every time I go somewhere with you, it always ends in violence and terror?"

Buffy stared out a window. "Welcome to my life."

"I don't wanna be in your life. I wanna be in my life."

Buffy looked back at her. "Well, there's the door." She pointed with the rifle. "Please feel free to walk out at any time and live your life." She walked over to another window and looked out again.

"All I wanted was to be Homecoming Queen."

Buffy turned to face her again and lowered the gun. "And that's all I want for you, Cordelia." She sighed, looked down at her tuxedo, and headed back to the other window again. "I won't be able to return this tux." She looked out again.

"Where'd you learn how to handle a gun?" Cordelia asked her.

Again, Buffy turned around to face her. "From Giles. He insisted on some firearms training back in sophomore year. I did only enough to have the knowledge to be able to use a gun, if I happen to come across one in the field, but I made it clear to him that I was uncomfortable with it and would not continue with it."

"Why?" Cordelia asked.

"Because it's a coward's weapon." Buffy lowered her head and stepped over to her. "The ability to kill someone from a distance, perhaps never even making eye contact with your enemy." She sighed and shook her head. "If you wanna kill me, at least meet me on the field of battle, face to face, on equal footing; don't just pick me off from a distance."

"Would you have killed that guy?" Cordelia asked her.

"The werewolf hunter?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah. He was helpless, but you threatened to shoot him, anyway."

Buffy sighed. "I don't know. I hope not, but I don't know. I hate what I've become."

Cordelia kept respectfully silent.

"You couldn't understand." Buffy shrugged. "This is a bloody, thankless job, and sometimes I feel I have the wrong temperament for it."

"Then why do you keep doing it?" Cordelia asked her. "Why not leave it to Faith?"

Buffy nodded. "Maybe...in time. But I have to admit it's grown on me. And I think, despite what you said, it's grown on you, too."

Cordelia gave her an understanding look and a small smile. "Maybe."

Buffy raised the rifle in her hands. "Now, let's get you to the dance." She pumped the rifle. "You look cute in a tiara."

Cordelia let out a little laugh. Then they heard a growl outside the cabin.

Cordelia looked around. "Do you hear-"

Suddenly, the demon came crashing through a window. He immediately grabbed Buffy and threw her down onto an old mattress and pillow on the floor, making her drop the rifle. She rolled out of the way as he swung at her with his green serrated blades, and they just sliced into the pillow. Buffy rushed to the far wall and took down a set of antlers to use for defense. He swung his blades at her while Cordelia slapped him on the back with her spatula from behind. Buffy blocked the blades with the antlers and shoved the antlers aside. He went down with them.

"Cor, the gun!" Buffy yelled.

The demon got to his knees and took a wide swing at Buffy, cutting her slightly on the arm and making her fall.

"Ooh!" Buffy exclaimed.

Cordelia found the rifle on the floor and picked it up. The demon stood up and tried another swing, but Buffy grabbed the end of the rug that he was standing on and yanked it out from under him, making him fall backward and hit the floor hard on his back. Cordelia had the gun raised now and waved it around, looking for a target. He got back to his feet, and Cordelia shot but missed, hitting a bottle on a shelf instead.

Buffy looked at her. "Cordelia, the spatula."

The demon took a lunging swing at Buffy. She avoided it and grabbed the hanging lamp above her and used it to support herself to deliver a solid mid-air roundhouse kick to his face. He went flying backward into a desk against the wall and fell to the floor.

Cordelia tried to get Buffy's attention. "Buffy!"

Buffy looked over at her, and Cordelia tossed her the rifle. She aimed it at the demon as he got up from the floor. He roared and started to come at her. Buffy pulled the trigger, but the chamber was still empty from Cordelia's shot, so the hammer just clicked on nothing. Buffy quickly raised the rifle above her head to block his swing. His blade embedded itself in the rifle's stock, and Buffy twisted it around, pulling his arm with it and pinning him down.

Suddenly, a grenade penetrated a window shutter and fell to the floor in front of Buffy and the demon. They looked at each other and let go of the rifle. Buffy grabbed Cordelia and started to run toward a window with her in tow. The demon ran for another window. Buffy and Cordelia both jumped and crashed through the glass.

Buffy and Cordelia ran like mad. Behind them, the cabin exploded in a huge fireball, sending bits of debris flying everywhere and knocking them to the ground. They both looked up at each other, panting.

Buffy nodded. "We gotta get back to the library."

They got up and started running through the woods.

At school, Buffy and Cordelia ran around a corner and headed for the library.

"Jungle Bob and spike-head are down and out. We've lost the Germans twice, but they seem to keep finding us. If we take them out and the Gorches, we can still make homecoming."

"Those animals!" Cordelia yelled. "Hunting us down like poor, defenseless...well, animals."

They walked into the library.

"We just need to find Giles-"

The female Gorch roared and grabbed Buffy by the arm. She swung her around and let go, but Buffy maintained her balance and didn't fall. Gorch did a roundhouse kick to Buffy's face, making her stagger a bit. She grabbed Buffy by the back of the neck and shoved her into a bookcase, bringing her head down onto the shelves and breaking several of them as she fell to the floor. Lyle smiled at his wife's clever move, but Buffy did a sweep kick, knocking her legs out from underneath her and making her fall also. Buffy scrambled to her feet.

"Buffy!" Cordelia yelled.

Buffy looked at her.

Cordelia tossed the spatula to Buffy, who grabbed it in mid-air and turned to face Lady Gorch with it. Gorch grabbed the coat rack as she got up. Buffy lunged at her with the handle of the spatula and impaled her on it. Gorch shoved the base of the coat rack into Buffy's face and made her stumble back into the walls. She fell over a wastebasket and into a potted tree before falling to the floor, unconscious. Gorch dropped the coat rack and noticed the spatula sticking out of her chest.

Lyle's face took on a look of terror. "Candy!"

Candy died before his eyes and fell to the floor.

"Oh, Candy..." Lyle headed for Buffy on the floor.

Cordelia calmly stepped over and headed him off.

"I'm gonna kill both you Slayers for this! You hear me?" Lyle threatened.

"I hear you, you redneck moron. You got a dress that goes with that hat?" Cordelia asked him.

"I'm gonna-"

"Rip out my innards, play with my eyeballs, boil my brain and eat it for brunch?" Cordelia guessed. "Listen up, retard. Buffy and I have taken out four of your cronies, not to mention your girlfriend."

"Wife!"

"Whatever. The point is...I haven't even broken a sweat. See, in the end, Buffy's just the runner-up. I'm the Queen." Cordelia got in his face and glared at him. "You get me mad, what do you think I'm gonna do to you?"

Lyle was taken aback by that and considered his next move. Cordelia raised her eyebrows at him impatiently.

Lyle thought better of taking her on and gave her a quick nod. "Later." He cautiously edged his way around her and headed out of the library.

Giles woke up and got up from the floor. Cordelia smiled, impressed with herself.

A short while later, Buffy was awake again, and Giles started to deal with the mess left by the Gorches.

Buffy smiled at Cordelia. "That should teach him to mistake you for a Slayer."

Giles looked at them. "Yes, well, I'm sorry that you got mixed up in all of this, Cordelia."

Buffy looked at him. "Aw, it's okay. It gave Cor and me a chance to spend some quality death time."

"And we got these free corsages." Cordelia looked at hers.

Buffy pulled hers out to look at it. "Jungle Bob...said that the Germans were hooked into a computer system." She gave her corsage a more thorough inspection. Inside, she found a small transmitter. "And they're hooked into us."

They both looked up when they heard a door slam out in the halls.

Cordelia quickly pulled her corsage off and gave it to Buffy. "Oh, God, get rid of these things!"

Buffy looked at Giles. "I need some wet toilet paper."

Cordelia stared at her in confusion. "Yeah! That'll help."

Katrina danced in place on the stage as she led the band through the latest song:

"The reflex
Is an only child
Who's waiting by the park.
The reflex
Is in charge of finding
Treasure in the dark
And watching
Over lucky clover;
Isn't that bizarre?
And every little thing the reflex does
Leaves you answered with a question mark."

Faith shook her head. "Oh, hell no." She ran up on the stage and over to Katrina. She put her hand over the microphone. "Enough of this candy-ass bullshit. Let's kick some ass!"

"Huh?" Katrina asked.

Faith stared at her. "Let me play."

Katrina looked at Tara and Amy. They shrugged. Katrina looked at Faith and relented, handing over Buffy's guitar. Faith took it. Katrina walked over to her usual spot and picked up her bass guitar.

Tara looked at Faith. "Faith, do you even know how to play?"

"A little."

Amy looked at Faith. "Well, what are you gonna play?"

"Don't worry about it, Ames, just improvise. Okay, Sunnydale High, are you ready to rock?!" Faith asked.

The audience cheered.

Faith started playing the guitar. Tara, Amy, and Katrina immediately recognized the song and did their best to add their own instrumentation, even though they hadn't practiced this song.

"It's getting late; have you seen my mates?
Ma, tell me when the girls get here.
It's seven o'clock, and I wanna rock.
Wanna get a belly full of beer.
My old man's drunker than a barrel full of monkeys,
And my old lady, she don't care.
My sister looks cute in her braces and boots,
A handful of grease in her hair.

"Oh,
Don't give us none of your aggravation.
We had it with your discipline.
Oh, Saturday night's alright for fighting.
Get a little action in.
Get about as oiled as a diesel train.
Gonna set this dance alight.
'Cause Saturday night's the night I like.
Saturday night's alright, alright, alright, ooh."

Buffy and Cordelia waited in the library. They heard the music coming from the gym - and Faith's vocals - and looked at each other and smiled in amusement.

"Well, they're packed pretty tight in here tonight.
I'm looking for a dolly who'll see me right.
I may use a little muscle to get what I need.
I may sink a little drink and shout out: 'She's with me!'
A couple of the sounds that I really like
Are the sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike.
I'm a juvenile product of the working class
Whose best friend floats in the bottom of a glass.

As Faith began the guitar break, Buffy suddenly ran across the hall and ducked into a classroom. One of the Germans followed her in.

As Faith started another guitar break, the assassin scanned around in the dark room as he walked through the room.

Buffy rose up from behind a low bookcase. She threw a wad of wet toilet paper with the transmitters, and it hit the assassin on his back. He spun around to look which direction that he was hit from.

"Saturday! Saturday! Saturday!
Saturday! Saturday! Saturday!
Saturday! Saturday! Saturday night's alright!"

The assassin in the hall started to shoot through the wall. The other one turned toward the fire and shot back. They kept shooting at each other through the wall until they hit each other and died.

"Saturday! Saturday! Saturday!
Saturday! Saturday! Saturday!
Saturday! Saturday! Saturday night's alright!"

Buffy looked at the destroyed windows from behind the cover of the bookcase.

"Saturday! Saturday! Saturday!
Saturday! Saturday! Saturday!
Saturday! Saturday! Saturday night's alright, whoo!"

Faith finished playing. The audience cheered and applauded. Faith, Tara, Amy, and Katrina took bows.

Buffy walked back into the library.

Cordelia looked at her. "Are they...?"

Buffy nodded somberly. "They're dead. They, uh, shot each other."

Cordelia nodded.

Buffy shook her head. "Anyway, let's get to the gym. You've got a tiara to win."

The time to announce the Homecoming Queen had arrived.

Jonathan Levinson stepped up to the mic. "Hey, guys, the moment we've all been waiting for."

Tara gave the others a concerned look. "They're gonna announce the Queen. Where are they? What's keeping them?"

Amy noticed Buffy and Cordelia work their way through the crowd behind them. They were still dirty and disheveled from their ordeal.

Amy raised her eyebrows. "I'm gonna go with mud wrestling."

"Oh, God! What did you two do to each other?" Katrina asked.

Buffy smiled. "Long story."

Cordelia nodded. "Got hunted."

Buffy shrugged. "Apparently not that long."

Tara looked at the two of them in disbelief.

Buffy smiled. "Tell you one thing, though: you don't wanna fuck with Cordelia."

"In this envelope, I hold the name of this year's Homecoming Queen."

Buffy looked at Faith and smiled. "Hey, you kick ass! I wish I was here to see your performance."

Harmony smiled. "I've got it all on tape."

Faith smiled. "Make me a copy."

Cordelia smiled. "After all that we've been through tonight, this whole who-gets-to-be-queen-capade seems pretty...damn important."

Buffy smiled and shook her head.

"And the winner is..." Jonathan opened the envelope and checked the name. "Hey, I believe we have a first for Sunnydale High. We have a tie."

Buffy and Cordelia exchanged a look and smiled.

"The winners are Holly Charleston and Michelle Blake!" Jonathan announced.

Buffy and Cordelia's smiles faded. Michelle and Holly pushed between them to get to the stage. Everyone in the crowd applauded as the two queens made their way to the stage. Cordelia and Buffy couldn't believe it. On the stage, Jonathan held up the homecoming tiara and waved it first over Michelle's head, then Holly's. The crowd continued to applaud.

Michelle stepped up to the microphone. "I'm just so honored!" She giggled.

Buffy and Cordelia exchanged another look, rolled their eyes, and turned to go.

"I can't believe it! I mean...that you would pick me...or us...out of every girl in the whole school! It's just...it's so wonderful!" Michelle exclaimed.

Cordelia rolled her eyes again as the two of them left.

Michelle started to weep. "I promised myself I'm not gonna cry..."

"Are you okay?" Buffy asked Cordelia.

Cordelia sighed. "No, but...I'll get over it...I guess." A tear ran down her cheek.

Buffy pulled Cordelia into a big hug.