"Earshot"
Based on the Episode Written by Jane Espenson
The following story is copyright © 2022 by Mark Moore.
Buffy ran along the street near the park at night. She took a quick look behind her and veered off into the park. She stumbled beside the swing set and fell hard to the ground. She rolled onto her right elbow and looked up at the demon that had been chasing her, uncharacteristically frightened of it. The demon came into view as it closed in on her.
Buffy's scared, anxious look was gone, replaced by one of determination. From her position on the ground, Buffy roundhouse-kicked the demon in the back of its knee, which made it fall and smack its forehead into the metal structure of the swing set. The demon quickly got back to its feet, as did Buffy. She got it in the head with a high roundhouse kick, and it fell once again. She pulled out a knife and held it ready.
"You demons can't resist a run and stumble, can you?" Buffy asked it.
The demon gave her a steady look, and Buffy saw it had no mouth. She raised the knife, and, just as she threw it, her arm was blocked by the demon's companion. The one on the ground caught the knife out of mid-air. The second demon grabbed hold of Buffy and tried to throw her, but she was too strong, and instead it got thrown against the swing set. It fell to the grass, but both it and the first demon stood up and faced off with Buffy, the first behind the second.
Suddenly, the second demon ducked, and the first threw the knife at Buffy. She reacted instantly and snatched it from mid-air. The second demon stood back up as Buffy gave them a startled look. It rushed her, and she roundhouse-kicked it in the face, grabbed it by the shoulders, heaved it up and over onto a picnic table, and plunged the knife into its chest. The demon let out a muffled groan while the other one ran off. Buffy pulled out the knife and turned to look for the other one - just in time to see it disappear among the bushes across the street.
"One down, one gone."
The next morning, at Sunnydale High, Buffy and Tara pushed open the library doors and entered, making their way to the study table.
"So scabby demon got away?" Tara asked.
"Scabby demon number two got away. Scabby demon number one: big check in the slay column."
"I don't like this whole no-mouth thing. It's disquieting."
"Well, no mouth means no teeth." Buffy thought for a moment. "Unless they have them somewhere else..." She found that last thought very disquieting.
She and Tara reached the table and sat next to each other. Already there were Amy and Katrina, deep into their research.
Giles walked down from the stacks, holding a book, and walked over to the table. "Morning, girls. We've been researching the, uh, mayor's forthcoming Ascension."
"What do we know?" Buffy asked.
Giles reached for his mug on the table. "Based on the supposed date, Graduation Day, and the mayor being impervious to harm, I've cross-referenced, and I've eliminated several possibilities. It's not the ritual flaying of the demon Azarath, nor the, um..." He noticed everyone's expectant looks. "I don't know what's gonna happen." He put his book on the table, his hand in his pocket, and stared down at the floor.
"You don't know anything? The whole Faith-Angel thing was for nothing?" Buffy asked him, scratching her hand.
Giles noticed and thought nothing of it. "No, no, no. Um, if nothing else, Angel's charade has brought Faith's treachery into the open, and this information about the Ascension will prove useful..."
Wesley made a loud entrance and scrambled toward the table. Just before he reached it, he slowed and adopted an air of superiority.
"...eventually; I just need to put it together..." Giles noticed Wesley and looked to his left, where he is now standing.
"Terribly sorry, I was detained. Official Council business."
Buffy gazed down at the table, and Amy and Katrina exchanged a look.
"Mr. Giles, you were speaking?" Wesley asked.
"I was just filling Buffy in on my progress regarding the research of the mayor's Ascension."
"Oh. And what took up the rest of the minute?" Wesley asked haughtily.
Giles was disappointed with himself. "Touché." He made his way around Buffy and Tara to the far end of the table. "Of course, my work is unofficial. I'm sure, however, with the resources of the Council at your disposal, you will have something to add." He took a seat at the head of the table and gave Wesley a wry grin, putting him on the spot.
Wesley stepped up, puts his briefcase down on a chair, and did his best to save face. "Well. I am pleased to state...with certainty...that the demon Azarath will not in any way be-"
The kids immediately realized he had nothing to add, and so all got up, grabbed their books, and started out of the library to go to class.
"-involved in-"
They passed him without so much as an acknowledging look.
Wesley just stood there, turning as he watched them leave. "I'm sure we'll find out more soon!"
Giles was rather amused but did his best to cover it up. Wesley sat in Buffy's chair, looked again toward the door, then over to Giles.
"The demon Azarath?" Giles asked flippantly. He looked away and took a sip from his mug.
In the hall, Cordelia and Harmony were walking to class.
"So...have you talked to Angel lately?" Harmony asked.
"Not really. Seeing him bad, even pretend bad, and with Faith..."
"He only kissed her for the greater good." Harmony stopped at her locker and opened it.
Cordelia stepped around Harmony. "I don't know." She leaned against the lockers. "To the naked eye, it looked like fun."
Harmony gave her a look. "Or maybe it wasn't. Maybe he wasn't even tempted."
Cordelia sighed. "I just wish I could be sure."
"As always, I advise you to ask."
"Like he'd tell me?"
Harmony frowned at Cordelia. Cordelia worked the combination on her locker. Harmony zipped up her bookbag and pulled it on.
When the itching wouldn't stop, Buffy returned to the library and recounted what happened last night. They were in Giles' office, and Buffy was inspecting her hand under the magnifying lamp at his desk.
Giles had his nose in a book. "You touched one of the demons." He moved over to his desk.
Buffy nodded. "A good touch. Not a bad touch. Anyway, it's been itching like fucking crazy."
Giles leaned down for a look.
Buffy let out a heavy sigh. "No big." She switched off the light, pushed it away, and looked up at Giles. "Just another problem for the good people at Lubriderm, right?"
Giles set the book down in front of her, open to a sketch of the demon. "Is this the demon in question?"
The sketch was of a demon with horned ridges on both sides of its head that started from the eyebrows and got higher as they continued back; uneven, blotchy skin; glaring eyes; and no mouth.
"In the disgusting flesh."
Giles picked up the book and read. "Hmm."
Buffy gave him a concerned look. "What?"
"It says it can infect the host." Giles sat and continued reading.
"Infect?"
Giles was absorbed in the book and didn't respond.
"Infect?!" Buffy asked again, more concerned.
Giles still said nothing and just turned the page.
"Giles!" Buffy yelled sharply to get his attention.
Giles looked up at her. "Hmm?"
"Infect?!" Buffy asked yet again.
Giles looked down at the book. "Oh, um, in-in-infect the host with an aspect of the demon." He furrowed his brow. "That's all it says."
Buffy was suddenly very worried and snatched the book from Giles' hands. "An aspect of the demon?" She read.
"It is rather terse, isn't it?"
"You mean like a part of it?" Buffy asked.
Giles shrugged. "There could be any number of explanations for your hand. Um, a-a new f-fabric softener can cause irritation."
She paid him no mind, instead concentrating on reading the book.
"In any case, I-I-I would advise not to attempt to track the one that got away." Giles stood up, looking at the book. "Let's minimize your exposure."
"A part of the demon. I hope it's not the outside part."
Outside, in the quad, Cordelia and the rest of the cheerleaders were leading a pep rally for the basketball team. They were spelling out the names of each team member while the marching band drummers kept time.
"H! O! G! A! N! It's Hogan! Gooo, Hogan!"
The crowd cheered as Hogan stepped up, palming a basketball high over his head. Buffy, Tara, and Amy were sitting on a stone bench.
Buffy stroked her hair. "Is it me, or is this really fucking lame?"
Amy nodded. "It's definitely fucking lame. Goddess, I do not miss this shit at all."
Tara was reading the school paper. "Well, according to Freddy's latest editorial, 'The pep rally is a place for pseudo-prostitutes to provoke men into a sexual frenzy, which, when thwarted, results in pointless athletic competition.'" She folded the paper and dropped it onto her lap.
Buffy sat quietly next to her.
"The school paper is edging on depressing lately." Tara set the paper onto the bench. "Have you guys noticed that?"
Buffy reached up to scratch her head. Tara noticed and gave her a concerned look. Buffy dropped her hand to her shoulder and looked back.
"What are you doing, Buffy?" Tara asked.
Buffy lowered her hand into her lap. "Nothing."
Tara's concerned look intensified.
Buffy caved, embarrassed. "Checking for horns." She got up and walked away.
Tara stood up, went after her, took her arm to stop her, and turned her around. "Uh, y'know, Buffy, I don't even think Mr. Giles was right about you becoming like a demon. I mean...he's totally burnt. Y'know, dealing with Faith and this Ascension thing. Between you and me, he's not doing his best work."
"But what if he is right? I'm suddenly gonna grow this demon part, and we don't even know what it is. I mean, it could be claws or scales..."
Tara was suddenly very distressed.
"What?" Buffy reached her hand to her neck.
"Was it a male demon?" Tara asked.
Buffy's expression became wide-eyed, shocked at the thought.
The Sunnydale Razorback mascot clapped his hands.
"T! O! M! It's Tom! Gooo, Tom!" Cordelia and the others cheered and waved their pom-poms.
"It's just...I'm scared, babe. There's this thing in me, and I can't find it; I-I can't stop it. What if it changes me?" Buffy asked.
"...Seven, eight! P! E!"
"I mean...not just the way I look."
"R! C! Y!"
"All of a sudden, I-I could be something that's not me anymore."
"It's Percy! Gooo, Percy!"
"I-I would be frightened, too, but I'm sure you're gonna be okay."
Buffy gave her an unconvinced look.
Later, Buffy walked into a hallway, staring at the floor, not paying attention to where she was going. She ran into Mr. Beach.
"Ooh! Whoa, there." He smiled. "You watch where you're going now."
"I'm sorry, Mr. Beach. I will."
Mr. Beach walked off. Buffy picked up a feeling from him about wishing to get rid of all of the students. He entered his classroom.
Buffy was taken aback by his thoughts and shocked as she realized she could read his mind but continued walking slowly along the corridor.
A boy passed in front of her. His dream was to make it big in software and show up everyone that mocked him. He headed into the cafeteria.
Buffy saw a girl at the drinking fountain. She was upset with herself for taking French, which she had thought would be easy. The girl saw Buffy but ignored her.
Buffy noticed a group of boys loitering by the soda machine in the student lounge. One of them reached down to pull up his very loose-fitting pants, afraid that they would fall right off someday.
Buffy smiled at that. She continued walking along the hall, starting to get a feel for her new power. She walked past a boy, who looked hard at her when he noticed her pass by. He found her attractive. Then his thoughts made Buffy uncomfortable.
Buffy strode away, almost bumping into another boy. She took one look at him, knew his thoughts, and gave him a look of shock and disgust. She ran down the hall to the library.
In the library, Giles searched through a bookcase while Buffy talked to him.
"Is this the thing? The aspect thing?" Buffy stepped in his way. "Because I've gotta say, if it is, it is way better than a tail. I mean...I have a hard enough time as it is finding jeans that fit right-"
"Buffy, slow down. Just, um..." Giles pulled a book from over her head. "I-I'm not even convinced that this is genuine mind-reading."
He went down the stairs. Buffy followed.
"I mean...y-you're most likely projecting your-"
"When I walked in a few minutes ago, you thought 'Look at her shoes. If a fashion magazine told her to, she'd wear cats strapped to her feet.'" Buffy sat on the study table.
Giles turned and gave her a look of open-mouthed amazement. "I, um..." He gestured. "Of course. The demons are telepathic."
"I know. You just told me."
Giles gave her an inquiring look.
"That's why they don't need mouths. And you should have known."
Giles was amazed. "Uh, uh..." He paused. "This is astounding."
Buffy gestured toward the doors. "It was happening out in the hallway. I mean...Principal Snyder has 'Walk Like an Egyptian' stuck in his head. And the boys of this school are seriously fucking disturbed. Half of them wanna rape me. It's weird, but, Giles, think about it. I mean...think about what I could do."
"Oh, it could be very useful. You could, uh, anticipate your opponent's every move, uh, turn his plans against him."
Buffy was upbeat. "Oh, way better than that!"
Later, in Buffy's English class, they were right in the middle of discussing Othello. The teacher, Ms. Murray, was near the back of Buffy's row.
"Jealousy!" Buffy answered.
Ms. Murray turned to Buffy, surprised. "Buffy! Right." She walked to the front of the class. "Very good."
Buffy smiled to herself.
I knew that.
Buffy looked. The thought had come from Nancy Doyle, a girl with shoulder-length, curly brown hair.
"Jealousy is the tool that Iago uses to undo Othello. But what's his motivation? What reason does Iago give for destroying his superior officer?"
Buffy concentrated. "Well, he was passed over for promotion. Cassio was picked instead. A-And people were saying that Othello slept with his wife."
Buffy looked back at Warren Mears, disturbed at his thoughts of fucking Ms. Murray.
Buffy smiled smugly at Nancy as she sensed her hatred of her.
"Any other reasons?" Ms. Murray asked the class.
"Race!" Nancy blurted out.
"Um...good, Nancy."
Nancy smiled smugly at Buffy.
"Can't overlook that. Just like now, the world of Shakespeare has its own..."
Buffy sensed the thoughts of a boy sitting behind her and to her right. He thought they were scrambling for the teacher's praise.
"You could make the argument that the two slights against Iago, that were pointed out earlier, that they wouldn't have bothered Iago as much if he..."
Buffy leaned over to Tara. "Tara. Who's that guy?"
Tara glanced quickly. "It's Freddy Iversen. He writes those editorials for the school paper. He's sardonic."
"Iago makes a lot of references to Othello's color, but he never specifically cites race as a motive. Is there something else at work here?" Ms. Murray scanned the class for responses.
"Well, he, um, he sort of admits himself that his motives are..." Buffy inhaled deeply, concentrating. "...spurious?"
Ms. Murray listened intently.
"He, um, he does things, because he e-enjoys them."
Nancy fumed, annoyed that Buffy was stealing her thunder.
"It's like, he's not - he's not really a person. He's, uh...the...dark half of Othello himself."
Ms. Murray walked out from behind her desk. "Buffy. Really. Very astute! I said something quite like that in my dissertation."
"I know." Buffy realized her faux pas and tried to cover it. "Uh, I mean...I agree. With that." She smiled weakly.
Buffy gave Nancy a triumphant glance. Nancy looked down, defeated, and took notes.
"Yes, and doesn't that also explain Othello's readiness to believe Iago? Within seconds, he turns on Desdemona. He believes that she's been unfaithful. And we're all like that. We all have our little internal Iagos that tell us our husbands or our girlfriends or whatever don't really love us. We can never really see what's in someone's heart."
Cordelia considered how this applied to her own life.
After school, Buffy was at her locker, putting some books away.
Cordelia cleared her mind, walked over to her, and grinned. "Hey, buddy. How's it goin'?"
Buffy eyed her suspiciously. "What do you want, Cordy?"
"Are you goin' on patrol tonight?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Can I come along?"
"Sure."
"Great. I'll pick you up after the game."
"Uh, Cordy, this isn't the cemetery." Buffy looked out the window at Angel's mansion.
"Just making a quick stop." Cordelia unfastened her seatbelt and unlocked her door.
Buffy looked at her. "For what?"
Cordelia looked at her. "Look, I know you're not that smart."
Buffy raised her eyebrows.
"Yet you kicked ass in English class today. What's your secret, huh? You got some kind of special insight? You can read minds?" Cordelia asked.
"Uh, yeah, actually. Y'see, this demon that I was fighting-"
"I don't care. I don't care. Listen, I want you to read Angel's mind."
"Why? You don't trust him?"
Cordelia hesitated. "Well, y'see, ever since the whole Faith thing-"
"Cordy, that was just acting."
"Was it?" Cordelia asked her. "I need to be sure. Please?"
Buffy sighed, unfastened her seatbelt, and unlocked her door. "Fine. Let's get this over with, though. I've got vamps to kill."
They opened their doors, got out of the car, and closed their doors. They walked up to the atrium entrance.
"Speaking of vamps, I heard you spared one recently. What's that about?" Cordelia asked.
"Long story, but I feel it was the right thing to do."
Cordelia and Buffy entered the mansion. They both started moving into the main room, to the couch.
"Angel?" Cordelia called.
Angel entered the room. "Cordy. Buffy."
"Um, you look good. I mean...I-I know I saw you last night, but sometimes things can change real quick."
She sat on the couch, and he plopped down next to her, still trying to shake the sleep from his eyes. Buffy just paced behind the couch.
"I mean...really quickly. Listen to me; I'm talking like Faith."
Angel gave her an inquiring look. Buffy looked at him for a reaction. When she didn't get one, physically or mentally, she looked at Cordelia and shrugged.
"Y'know, not that she was so bad to have around." Cordelia looked at him. "Y'know, before the evil."
Angel just sat there.
"Y'know, I think she was hurting a lot. And some people, protective-type people, might be drawn to that, I-I guess."
Buffy continued staring hard at him, expecting something but getting nothing, while he just sat there. She craned her neck forward in disbelief, thinking she ought to be getting something at least. She tried again.
"Well, the thing about Faith-"
"You can't get into my mind."
The girls gave him surprised looks.
"How did you...?" Cordelia was taken aback. "Why not?"
"Because you didn't ask." Angel turned and looked at Buffy. "I sensed your intrusion. It's like...leaning against a door and feeling a nudge from the other side."
Cordelia leaned back into the couch and crossed her arms.
Angel stood up. "You got your aspect of the demon."
Buffy raised her eyebrows.
"Giles and I talk." Angel leaned on a far corner of the couch, rubbing his hands while he looked at her.
"Yeah. Giles doesn't know how long it's gonna last. I-It's okay. A-A little headachy but-"
Angel turned to Cordelia. "You don't have to play games with me, Cordy. Ever."
"Well, you're not exactly Joe Here's-What-I'm-Thinking."
Angel opened his hands. "So ask me."
Buffy smiled. "Oh, but that would've made sense."
Angel ignored her, focusing on Cordelia. "What do you wanna know about? Faith? How I felt kissing her? Pretending to have no soul, watching you suffer?"
Cordelia shrugged, slightly hurt. "Well, since you bring it up."
"I hated hurting you. More than I could stand."
"Look, the thing about Faith..." Cordelia sighed heavily. "...I'd understand." She looked away. "Y'know, she has that whole bad-girl thing working for her."
"Kissing her meant nothing. I-I don't want a bad girl. I've done that before."
She looked at him.
Angel moved around the end of the couch. "I've lived a long time, Cordy, and I'm past that." He sat. "I've been with dozens of girls like her. More."
Cordelia was not liking this. "Oh, this honesty shit is fun." She smiled ironically.
Angel looks at her, shaking his head. "And there's no comparison. In two-hundred-forty-three years, I've loved exactly one person."
Cordelia liked that better. "Oh." She moved closer to him. "It is me, right?" She smiled, looking for more assurance.
"Next time, just ask."
"Okay." Cordelia looked down.
Angel looked at Buffy. "And Buffy, be careful with this gift. A lot of things that seem strong and good and powerful, they can be painful."
"Like, say, immortality?" Buffy asked playfully.
"Hmm, exactly. I'm dying to get rid of that."
Buffy raised her eyebrows and smiled. "Funny."
"I'm a funny guy."
The next day, in the library, Buffy was sitting on one corner of the study table with Tara next to her, in a chair. Amy and Katrina sat across from them. Cordelia was leaning against the stair railing, while Wesley and Giles stood near the head of the table.
"So you can read our minds, our every thought?" Amy asked Buffy.
"Every one."
Cordelia was bored. "I don't see what this has to do with me."
Tara tried to be optimistic. "Well, I think it's great, right? I mean...you enjoy your other Slayer powers." She smiled tentatively.
Buffy smiled back. "Yeah, it'll be fun." She was impressed with herself. "I mean...did you see Nancy Doyle's face in English class yesterday?"
Tara nodded. "Yeah, she's super competitive. You can tell it was just killing her."
"I think there must be, uh...some precedence for occurrences such as this. I'll - I'll - I'll research it. Uh, Wesley, can you give me a hand?" Giles asked.
"Of course. Where do you think we should start?"
He and Giles walked away to talk about it without disturbing the others. Giles went up to the stack level.
"Chances are you're all going to be thinking whatever you least want Buffy to hear. It's a question, of course, of mental discipline." Wesley glanced aside, lusting after Cordelia. He looked the other way, mentally chastising himself.
Buffy rested her chin on her hand and gave Wesley a knowing smile. Wesley looked down, chastising himself again. He looked up. Buffy wiggled her eyebrows at him.
"Excuse me." Wesley turned and went into the office.
"What's it like, Buffy?" Tara asked.
Cordelia moved to take a seat at the table.
"I don't know. I mean...it's a little weird but..." Buffy paused and looked at them imploringly. "Look, please don't for a second think that I don't need you, because I do. And I wanna share this with you. It's like all these doors are opening to all these little worlds, and I can just walk right inside."
Giles came back down from the stack level with several books.
Cordelia leaned back in her chair. She leaned forward and looked at Giles. "Can I go?"
Wesley poked his head out of the office. "Excuse me, can you hear me thinking in here? I could go out into the hall."
"Y'know what, you stay. I'm getting a headache; I'll go." Buffy slid off the table, grabbed her bag, and left.
Giles watched her leave, concerned.
It was between classes, so it was busy, and Buffy was bombarded with thoughts coming from all directions. Some were stronger than others and were easier for her to pick out, while others just contributed to the background noise. As she went along, she looked around at everyone, trying to determine who was thinking what. A boy was lusting after her. A girl hated her own body. A boy was bored. Another boy was convinced that no one was ever going to love him. A girl was worried that she would never get breasts. A boy was concerned about an upcoming test today. Another boy was upset at his bad luck. A girl was upset that she was still a virgin. Another girl admired a boy's ass.
Buffy walked past Nancy, who was talking to a group of friends. Nancy noticed her as she left them and crossed the hall behind Buffy, hating her.
In Giles' office, he was researching and set his mug down when he found something. "Here."
He picked up the book and turned around to face Wesley, who stepped over to have a look.
"A man in Ecuador. Quite recently." Giles put the book back down on the desk, so they could both read.
"Can we contact him?" Wesley asked.
"I'd say not. He can't communicate with anyone."
"Dead?"
"No, he's in complete isolation." Giles looked up at Wesley. "The power...he can't shut it off."
Later, in the cafeteria, Buffy was at the serving counter, getting her lunch. The background noise, both in her ears and in her head, was getting much louder because of the lunch crowd. The lunch lady scooped a spoonful of mashed potatoes onto her plate. A girl was hoping things would get better. A boy hated school. Another boy regretted taking Honors Math, believing he was too stupid.
Jonathan was standing next to Buffy in line. He wondered if he was normal. Buffy gave him a disturbed glance, which he noticed.
"Are you through with the mashed potatoes?" Jonathan asked her.
She gave him a puzzled look. He thought she didn't even know he was here. Buffy heard overlapping chatter and thoughts.
"I'm finally gonna get my driver's license!" a girl exclaimed.
A boy desperately wanted a car. Another boy lusted after Buffy. A third boy thought nothing mattered.
Buffy put her plate on her tray and stepped away from the serving counter. The thoughts were becoming garbled, coming at her faster and faster from all directions.
Freddy Iversen followed her as she went to find a place to sit. He was horny and trying to see into the armhole of her top.
Buffy became increasingly troubled and confused. All of the thoughts were now just a big noise, mixing with the chatter in the cafeteria, so none of it was at all clear. Caught in a sea of confusion, she meandered between the tables aimlessly. Her eyes darted all around, trying to make some sense of the chaos, but the voices and thoughts just got louder and louder. It was too much for her, and she closed her eyes, trying to shut it out.
Suddenly, all of the thoughts dimmed, replaced by one overpowering, deeply disturbed thought: This time tomorrow, I'll kill you all.
She stopped in the middle of the room and opened her eyes, horrified by what just went through her mind. Shocked by what she just heard, Buffy lost her equilibrium and dropped her tray. It crashed loudly to the floor. All around her, the students started to applaud, and suddenly her head was once again filled with their sounds and thoughts. Buffy was too freaked out to pay their laughter any mind and instead started to frantically go from one student to the next, her only concern being to find out whose thought that that was. She touched a boy at the table in front of her. He thought she had gone nuts. A girl passed in front of her, hating being here. Buffy turned wildly, touching everyone who came within reach, trying to get the voices and thoughts under control. A girl was convinced that Buffy had done that before. Buffy rushed to another table and touched a boy, who looked at her in surprise and thought she was a show-off. Jonathan passed by, and she grabbed him by the shoulders. He was surprised that she touched him. She let go of him, and, without anyone to concentrate on, Buffy's mind was filled with negative thoughts.
The thoughts overwhelmed Buffy, and she put her hands over her ears in a desperate attempt to shut them out. The room spun out of control, and she became disorientated. Finally, she snapped and collapsed to the floor, unconscious.
Buffy regained consciousness and found herself outside, beneath the willow tree. Tara, Amy, Giles, Katrina, and Cordelia were all leaning over her. Their thoughts flooded into her mind.
Tara smiled, relieved that she was waking up. Amy breathed a sigh of relief that Buffy was okay. Giles was immensely relieved. Katrina stared at her, noticing her eyes opening. Cordelia hugged herself, cold.
"Are you all right?" Giles asked Buffy.
Buffy looked up at them, still a bit confused.
Cordelia nodded at the others. "I told them not to move you. They probably severed your spinal cord."
Tara gave her an exasperated look.
"I'm okay." Buffy tried to get up.
"Buffy..." Tara helped her sit up.
"No, really, I'm okay. Listen. There's a killer in the cafeteria." Buffy looked at Giles. "Someone was thinking it; they thought 'This time tomorrow, I'll kill you all.' I have to find them." She struggled to her feet.
Tara offered her support.
"Wha...? D-D-Did you recognize a-a-a voice?" Giles asked Buffy.
"No."
"Boy or girl?" Tara asked.
"I don't know. I mean...it was...hardly human; it was so full of anger and pain."
She started to walk back to the cafeteria, but, as soon as she looked in that direction, her mind was bombarded with a mass of indecipherable thoughts. Buffy was overwhelmed. Her eyes shot wide open and then immediately clamped shut.
Tara rushed to catch her as she began to collapse again. "Buffy, you can't."
Buffy briefly put a hand to her head against the pain but was determined. "No, I have to find them."
"Are you sure they meant it?" Amy asked her.
"Yeah, I mean...who hasn't just idly thought about taking out the whole place with a semi-automatic?" Cordelia asked.
She got looks from everyone.
Cordelia was defensive. "I said 'idly'."
"I know the difference. He..." Buffy paused. "She..." She paused again. "Whoever, they meant it. They're gonna do it."
Tara stared at Buffy sadly, noticing she looked so tired. Katrina thought a shooting was horrible. Cordelia was impatient and still cold. Buffy put both hands over her face. Amy wondered who the shooter could be.
"Shut up!" Buffy yelled.
She saw them all looking at her.
Buffy sighed. "I'm sorry, I...It's just..." She paused. "Could you guys not think so loud? Or so much?"
Giles looked at her. "Buffy, you should go home."
"I'll - I'll - I'll take you home, sweetie." Tara took her arm.
"Yeah, okay." Buffy started to go with her but quickly turned back to the others. "No. Look, I need you guys to go back into the cafeteria, make a list of everyone who's there. We have to find the killer before lunch tomorrow."
Tara nodded, nudging Buffy toward the student parking lot. "We'll do it, Buffy. A list of all the students."
"Yeah. Nancy was there; she's scary."
Tara nodded.
"And, uh...oh! Teachers, too. Uh, Mr. Beach. He - He - He thought something about - about getting rid of all the students-"
"Come on." Tara guided her away to the van.
The others headed back into the school.
Buffy put her hands to her temples. "I can't shut it out, Tara. It's like this invasion of my head. It's like there're these strangers walking around in there." She looked back at her friends going the other way. "Look at this; I can't even be around people anymore. Not that they're really clamoring to be near me, anyway. Even you."
"I-I-I'm sorry, Buffy. It's, uh, it's hard for all of us. But, uh, Wesley and Mr. Giles are - are looking for a way to help."
"But I'll be okay, right? I-I mean...even if they can't get rid of it?" Buffy asked.
"You'll be fine, I promise." Tara walked ahead, believing, if it didn't go away, Buffy would go insane.
Buffy stopped, watching her in disbelief.
In the library, Amy, Tara, and Cordelia all sat at the table while Katrina paced.
Tara stared at her notebook. "I think we have everyone that was in the cafeteria. I'll do some computer work, match it against the FBI mass-murderer profiles, see if maybe we can rule some people out."
Katrina leaned on the table. "I'm still having trouble with the fact that one of us is just gonna gun everybody down for no reason."
Cordelia looked at her. "Yeah, because that never happens in American high schools."
Amy sighed. "It's bordering on trendy at this point."
"But what gives them the right to take other people's lives?" Cordelia asked, genuinely angry. "What gave those two assfucks the right to kill all of those people at Columbine last week?"
Tara took a breath. "Look, I know we're all on edge. The whole country is. So-Sometimes, w-when people are bullied-"
"That's no excuse!" Cordelia yelled.
Katrina nodded. "Right. Fuck them. No one has the right to just end another person's life for no legitimate reason. And being bullied is not a legitimate reason."
Tara got defensive. "I-I kn-know. I-I-I just-" She swallowed and tried to compose myself. "I'm sorry. One of my biggest fears is getting shot." She twiddled her thumbs nervously. "I-I'm sorry."
No one said anything for a while. Amy put a hand on Tara's shoulder to comfort her.
"Let's get to work." Tara picked up her notebook. "We have till lunchtime tomorrow. We hope." She stood up and went to the computer.
In Buffy's room, her mother tucked her into bed. "There. You look better already." She smiled.
"Thanks, Mom."
Joyce walked into the hall. "I'm, uh, I'm just gonna get you another pillow."
"I really don't need one."
Joyce returned with a pillow. "But you...need another blanket." She laid the pillow on Buffy's bed and went into the hall again.
"Uh, Mom, I'm fine!"
Joyce returned with a blanket. "How, um..." She paused. "How 'bout some soup? Chicken and stars?" She put the blanket on Buffy's bed.
"Mom, please, just come sit with me?" Buffy indicated a spot next to her.
Her mother backed off slightly, reluctant to stay in the room. "Um, I-I've, uh...I-I've got laundry."
Buffy was confused. "Why are you...?" She sat bolt upright. "You had sex with Giles?!"
Joyce sighed, mortified that she'd been found out. She couldn't bring herself to utter a single word.
"You had sex with Giles?!" Buffy asked her again, not wanting to believe it.
Joyce turned and walked out frantically. "It was the candy; we were teenagers-"
"On the hood of a police car?!" Buffy asked.
Joyce stopped in her tracks and faced her daughter, trying to pull herself together. "I'll be downstairs. You feel better." She hurried away.
"Twice?!" Buffy asked in utter disbelief.
Cordelia entered Mr. Beach's classroom. He was wiping his notes of Henry VIII from the chalkboard.
"Hi, Mr. Beach."
He faced her.
"I was just wondering, were you planning on killing a bunch of people tomorrow? Oh, it's for the yearbook." Cordelia smiled sweetly at him.
In Buffy's room, she was standing by her open window, looking out over the street. As people walked past, she sensed their thoughts: a man wishing he'd quit his job, a wife knowing about her husband's mistress, a woman eager to share her pregnancy news with a man, a woman with a drinking problem, a child upset that her parents were fighting again. Buffy closed her eyes in despair, then reopened them, looking sadly out the window. The thoughts started to merge. Buffy pulled her window shut and turned away to her bed, but the thoughts wouldn't stop. Buffy lay down and pulled up the covers, putting her hands to her head in a vain, painful effort to shut everyone out. Desperate for some peace, Buffy grabbed a pillow and covered her head with it.
In the library, Giles and Wesley were researching and preparing the beginnings of a potion. Wesley ground some herbs while Giles came back to the table with more vials of liquid to add to the dozen already on the table.
"Well, it seems to be coming along all right."
"Yes, Buffy is being driven mad, we have no proof that this is gonna work, and it still requires the heart of the second demon, which we have no idea how to get without the Slayer." Giles whipped off his glasses and dropped them onto the table in disgust, then put his fists on his hips.
"Negative thinking doesn't solve problems." Wesley walked to the office.
Giles sat at the table. "Who is going to get the demon heart? Berk."
In the student lounge, Tara was interviewing Nancy before classes started.
"Do I often imagine classmates are spying on me or otherwise acting suspiciously?" Nancy asked.
Tara nodded. "Right."
Nancy frowned. "Not till just now."
Tara marked her sheet, but the irony of the comment wasn't lost on her.
In the library, everyone was reporting back to Tara. Most of them were sitting at the table.
"He's the only one we couldn't find?" Tara asked.
Katrina nodded. "Yeah, Freddy Iversen."
"The newspaper guy?" Cordelia asked.
Amy stepped up with the latest issue of the school paper, The Sunnydale High Sentinel, and sat on the edge of the table as she opened it. "Check out today's editorial, titled 'The Big Game Draws Mindless Brain-Dead Mob'."
Cordelia got up. "Does he mention the cheerleaders? Because we were on!" She read over Amy's shoulder.
In Buffy's room, she moaned restlessly in bed, putting her hands to her ears. Joyce and Giles were standing by her door, watching her. He took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose.
Joyce sighed. "I can't stand this. I keep wondering if I'm hurting her with my thoughts."
"You're not. Not anymore. She can't pick one thought out of the...out of the din."
Suddenly, there was a pounding at the front door. They both ran to the stairs.
In the foyer, Wesley hurried to open the door as Giles and Joyce scrambled down the steps. Wesley grabbed the knob and pulled the door open wide, getting out of the way, so Angel could rush in out of the daylight. He had a heavy blanket over himself, and smoke was rising from it.
Angel pulled it off and let it fall to the floor, revealing a flask containing a blue fluorescent liquid. "I got it."
Buffy woke as Angel pulled her to a sitting position.
Buffy was only semi-conscious. "No, no."
"I'm gonna help you."
He gently held her up and reached for the flask. He put it to her lips. She struggled weakly but couldn't resist taking a few swallows. Angel put the flask back on the nightstand and gently lay her back down. Suddenly, she twisted in her bed and lashed out with her arms, going into convulsions.
Angel grabbed her by the shoulders and struggled to hold her down. "Giles!"
Buffy woke again some time later. She looked over at Angel, and he looked back.
"Angel?" Buffy asked.
Joyce sat down at the end of her bed. Behind her were Giles and Wesley.
"Thank God. A-Are you all right? Do you hear thoughts?" Joyce asked.
Buffy concentrated for a moment and then half-smiled. "No." She looked at Giles. "Did you find the killer?"
Buffy, Tara, and Cordelia walked into Freddy's office through the front door. He was working at his desk. Freddy stood up and was about to exit through the side door when Amy walked through it, heading him off. He backed up to his desk. Katrina entered behind Amy.
"Okay, Buffy." Freddy sat. "You got me. What are your friends gonna do? Hold me down?"
Buffy was upset. "You better believe it, motherfucker! You can't threaten a big murder without getting us pretty damned pissed."
"Murder? What murder? You're not here about the review?"
"The review?" Buffy asked in confusion.
"Yeah." Freddy looked for it. "Last Thursday."
He handed Buffy the paper, and Cordelia looked over her shoulder.
"'Buffy and the Slayerettes played their instruments as if they had plump Polish sausages taped to their fingers.'" Buffy made a face.
"Sorry, ma'am."
Buffy considered. "No, it's fair." She put the paper down on Freddy's desk.
"I just get a lot of hate mail, and I thought you were gonna come and deliver some personally."
Cordelia sat on his desk and picked up a few letters to the editor. "We have no shot. The killer could be anyone. We lose."
Tara looked at her despairingly.
Buffy looked at all of them desperately. "We still have a few minutes."
They all looked at her.
"Okay, here's the new plan: We're gonna get Snyder to evacuate the school. I just hope the killer's not waiting outside."
Cordelia read one of the letters. "'By this time tomorrow, you'll all know what I've done. I'm sure you'll understand that I had to do it, and, although death is never easy, it's the only way.'" She was annoyed. "God! Doesn't anybody write in to praise the cheerleaders?"
Tara took the letter from Cordelia.
Cordelia folded her arms over her chest. "We are so unsung."
Tara read the letter. "It's from Jonathan Levinson."
"Split up. Find him!" Buffy commanded. She turned and left the office.
The others followed suit.
Tara ran into the library. "Jonathan? Are you in here?"
She saw it was deserted and hurried out to continue her search.
Katrina burst in through the cafeteria's side doors. "Jonathan! Jonathan!" She scanned the room.
Amy ran into the gym. "Jonathan! Jonathan!" She went to search the boys' locker room.
In the student lounge, Cordelia was doing a student-to-student search and roughly pulled one boy around to check his face. It was not him, so she quickly moved on to the next one, grabbed him by the shoulders, and looked hard at him. She shoved him back when she saw he was not Jonathan either.
In the quad, Buffy moved quickly through the crowd of students, looking all around for Jonathan. She saw Theresa talking to some people here, Nancy sitting and reading a book there. Buffy noticed the clock tower above Nancy and shielded her eyes as she looked up at it. There she saw Jonathan, just visible through an open shutter. He leaned into the light, and Buffy saw the rifle in his hands. She thought fast about how to get up there to stop him and ran across the quad to the stairs. There she took another look up, then jumped onto the stair railing and ran up it. This attracted the attention of the students, including Nancy, who looked up from her reading. Buffy reached the top, stopped, and leaped up, grabbing the gutter at the edge of the roof. She swung her body forward and pushed off with her feet to do a kip-up to a front handspring, flipping herself up and over onto the rooftop.
Nancy was unimpressed. "Uh! I could've done that." She frowned and returned to her reading.
Buffy ran across the roof tiles and crashed through the shutters of another window. She dropped to the floor as she landed. Jonathan swung around, startled, pointing the rifle at her. Buffy looked up and froze.
"Get away from me."
Buffy slowly rose to her feet, watching the gun. "Okay, Jonathan, you wanna point that somewhere else?"
"Don't you try and stop me."
Buffy held up her hands. "No, no stopping." She took a slow step. "Just here for the view." She pointed. "Hey, look, City Hall."
"Go away."
Buffy remained calm. "Never gonna happen."
"You think I won't use this?"
Buffy stepped forward. "I don't know, Jonathan, I just-"
Jonathan reacted defensively, aiming the rifle directly at her. "Stop doing that!"
Buffy was confused. "Doing what?"
"Stop saying my name like we're friends. We're not friends. You all think I'm an idiot. A short idiot!"
"I don't."
They looked at each other for a moment.
Buffy shrugged. "I don't think about you much at all. Nobody here really does." She paused. "Bugs you, doesn't it? You have all this pain and all these feelings, and nobody's really paying attention."
"You think I just want attention?"
"No, I think you're up in the clock tower with a high-powered rifle, because you wanna blend in. Believe it or not, Jonathan, I understand about the pain."
"Oh, right. 'Cause the burden of being beautiful and athletic, that's a crippler."
Buffy reconsidered. "You know what, I was wrong. You are an idiot." She grew intense and stared straight into his eyes. "My life happens to, on occasion, suck beyond the telling of it. Sometimes more than I can handle. And it's not just mine. Every single person down there is ignoring your pain, because they're too busy with their own." She moved toward the window. "The beautiful ones, the popular ones, the guys that pick on you..." She paused. "Everyone."
She looked down at the quad. Jonathan stepped up as well.
"If you could sense what they were feeling, the loneliness, the confusion..." Buffy paused. "It looks quiet down there. It's not. It's deafening." She looked down at the floor and then turned to him. "You know I could've taken that by now."
Jonathan nodded sadly. "I know."
Buffy held out her hand. "I'd rather do it this way."
After a moment, he handed her the rifle. She took it and pulled back the bolt, ejecting the bullet. It clanged loudly against the wall and fell to the floor. She put the rifle down.
Jonathan shook his head. "I just wanted it to stop."
"Yeah, well, mass murder?" Buffy asked. "Not really doctor-recommended for that kind of pain. Besides, prison? Y'know, it's a lot like high school, only, instead of noogies, you get ass-raped."
Jonathan shuddered, and then he grew somber. "I'm in trouble, huh?"
Buffy nodded sadly. "Yeah. Actions having consequences, y'know."
After the school day had ended, Tara and Buffy walked down the steps at the front of the school, holding hands.
Giles met them. "Hello."
Buffy looked at him. "Hey, Giles."
They continued walking.
"How are you?" Giles asked Buffy.
Buffy smiled. "Loving the quiet. Nobody in here but me."
"Jonathan? How's he?" Giles asked.
Buffy sighed. "Pretty shitty. His parents are freaking. I asked Snyder to have mercy on him, but he got expelled. And toting a piece to school, not exactly winning him any leniency from the SPD. I talked with Detective Stein, but...I don't know. He could still be facing jail time. I suggested they get him some counseling, at least."
They turned toward the parking lot.
"It was good of you to plead on his behalf."
"Well, it's nice to be able to help someone in a non-slaying capacity."
Tara looked at Buffy. "You helped not just him but countless other students today. You're a hero."
Buffy blushed. Tara kissed Buffy on the lips.
"I'm glad to see you've recovered from your psychic encounter more or less intact. Feel up to some training?" Giles asked.
"Sure. We can work out. Y'know, if you're not too busy fucking my mother." Buffy walked off, annoyed.
Beside her, Tara laughed after hearing that comment. Giles stared after Buffy, very taken aback, and walked smack into a tree.