"A New Man"
Based on the Buffy the Vampire Slayer Episode "A New Man" Written by Jane Espenson and the Angel Episode "Expecting" Written by Howard Gordon
The following story is copyright © 2023 by Mark Moore.
In the office of Angel Investigations, Cordelia was putting on some lipstick while looking in the mirror of her compact.
"You look nice."
Cordelia jumped and spun around at the sound of Angel's voice, then looked at her reflection in the mirror. There was a streak of lipstick from the corner of her mouth to halfway up her cheek.
Cordelia pulled out a tissue. "And now I look like the Joker."
"Sorry."
Cordelia fixed her lipstick. "I hope I'm still too young and carefree for a heart attack. Would it kill you to hum a little tune when sneaking up on people?"
Angel looked at a file. "I don't hum. I'm confused here. Why is Mrs. Bensen filed under 'P'?"
"That's not a 'P'; that's an 'F'. Or is it an 'R'?"
"I don't know. Maybe we can be a little less...young and carefree with the filing?"
"Oh, it's an 'F'. I remember now."
Angel blinked and scratched his neck. He chuckled. "All right, so...why is it Mrs. Bensen is filed under 'F'?"
"Because she is from France. Remember what a pain she was?"
"Yeah. It made me want to drink a lot."
"Well, that's the French for you."
Wesley walked into the office. "Hello. I was just in the neighborhood, patrolling with my new Bavarian fighting ax..." He held up an ax. "...when I suddenly thought 'Perhaps Cordelia has had a vision'; perhaps you need my help in the battle against evil."
Angel looked at him. "We seem to be evil-free at the moment."
"I also packed along a Word Puzzle 3-D, if either of you has the nerve to take me on."
Cordelia resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "Gee, Wesley, I'd love to, but, unlike you, I'm not in my eighties quite yet."
"If shaking your booty at the latest trendy hot spot is your idea of a life, then call me..."
Faith and Anne walked in, dressed in tube tops and short shorts.
"...sick with envy."
Faith smiled at Wesley. "Nice ax, Wes."
Wesley laughed. "Uh, ah, no, this old thing..." He swung the ax around and embedded it in the wall beside him.
Angel looked at him, then over at Faith, but didn't say anything.
Faith looked at Cordelia. "We're late, babe. Wilson practically had to have phone sex with the manager at Lounge La Brea to get us in."
Cordelia turned around. "Okay, okay. How do I look?"
Faith smiled. "Like you always do. Wilson won't be able to take his eyes off of you."
"Who's Wilson?" Angel asked Faith.
"Christopher."
"Christopher Wilson."
Anne shook her head. "Wilson Christopher."
"No. The ethno-archeologist from Brandeis?" Wesley asked in excitement.
Faith rolled her eyes. "The fashion photographer from L.A. who's been seeing Cordelia. Third time's the charm." She turned towards Wesley. "And that Hugh Grant thing is really starting to work for me."
Angel walked over to Cordelia. "So..." He cleared his throat and chuckled. "...you've been seeing someone. How come I didn't know?"
"Because I'm ashamed of you. Not to mention how you'd embarrass me by giving him the third degree."
Anne smiled. "Your boss could give me the third degree anytime."
Faith looked at Anne. "You're a sucker."
Cordelia put a hand to her forehead and dropped to the floor behind the desk.
Angel turned to the two women, standing between them and the desk. "So...La Brea. Sounds like that could be an evening with all sorts of evening type-"
Faith pointed at Cordelia, who was writhing on the floor. "Shouldn't you-"
"Oh, she's fine, she's fine. I-I heard the bands there are-"
"They don't have any bands."
"Which I like. Because if it's too loud-"
"Want to come?" Anne asked, amused.
"Oh, I think I may be busy. Besides, uh, I, um, I don't lounge all that well."
Wesley laughed. "Good one! Oh, yes." He put an arm around Angel. "No, he's, uh, he's no lounger, this one."
Faith looked at Anne. "The good ones are always gay."
Wesley let go of Angel.
Faith looked at Cordelia. "Cor, tick-tock."
Cordelia pulled herself back to her feet.
Angel turned towards her. "So?"
Cordelia stared at him for a moment, upset. "A big baby demon hatching from a big egg with really large hands in need of a manicure." She wrote an address on a piece of paper and handed it to Angel.
Cordelia, Faith, and Anne left the office.
Faith looked at her friends. "Are my girls ready to party?"
In room 214 in Stevenson Hall, at night, it was dark except for Buffy's bedside lamp, and Tara and Buffy were lying on their bed, naked. Buffy was resting her head on her pillow and had her legs spread, and Tara was lying between Buffy's legs and giving her cunnilingus for her birthday.
Buffy moaned as she felt her orgasm approach. "I'm gonna cum, sweetie."
Tara kept to her pace. Moments passed, and Buffy crested, her orgasm taking hold of her entire body. She let loose, cumming freely. Buffy's cum splashed onto Tara's tongue, and Tara eagerly drank, tasting the salty sweetness of her lover and best friend.
Tara dragged herself up, and she and Buffy cuddled and started making out. Tara passed the little bit of cum that she hadn't swallowed on to Buffy.
Buffy swallowed and then grinned. "Best birthday gift ever."
Tara smiled. "I aim to please."
They continued making out. Soon, the door burst open, and Harmony barged into the room, breaking the mood. Buffy and Tara stood up.
Harmony looked worried. "We got trouble."
Buffy suddenly grew serious. "What is it?"
"I was in the rec room. It came through the window."
"Vampire?" Tara asked her.
"Vampires don't breathe fire."
Soon, Buffy and Tara were dressed and following Harmony around the corner to a hallway on the first floor. Buffy was carrying a rifle-size crossbow. Tara and Harmony were holding smaller crossbows. Buffy motioned Tara down the adjacent hall, and Tara split from them towards the other door into the rec room. Buffy was not happy as she and Harmony headed for the door.
Buffy looked at Harmony. "We have to make this fast. I have better things to do tonight than kill."
Buffy opened the door and stepped inside the rec room, which was in total darkness.
A second later, the lights came up, and Buffy saw, based on the large banner hanging across the ceiling, it was a surprise party for her nineteenth birthday.
"Surprise!" Harmony, Amy, Sandy, Tara, and Jenny yelled.
Buffy lowered her crossbow, resisting the urge to roll her eyes.
Harmony smiled at Buffy. "Guess you won't be killing anything tonight, after all."
Buffy gave her a sly grin. "Don't be so sure."
Buffy walked over to the table, which was lined with chocolate cake, chocolate brownies, potato chips, Doritos, dip, fruit punch, and bottles of beer. She immediately homed in on the beer, but Tara gave her a slice of cake on a paper plate and a plastic fork.
Buffy took them. "Thanks. Hey, where's Giles?"
Jenny walked over and helped herself to some cake. "He passed on the party but sends his wishes and a gift. One of us had to stay at home and look after Spike, and parties aren't really his thing."
"Y'know, I never would have guessed. He looked so comfortable at the Bronze."
Jenny laughed.
Buffy suddenly remembered something. "Oh, I've got some news on the Initiative."
Harmony stared blankly at Buffy.
"The commandos. That's what their organization is called."
Harmony nodded in understanding.
"Riley's taking me to meet with his commander tomorrow. Apparently, she's really eager to meet 'the Slayer'."
"She?" Amy asked in surprise.
"It's Professor Walsh."
The others stared at her in shock.
Buffy nodded. "I know, right?!"
At Lounge La Brea, the bartender handed Faith a drink. "Here you go."
"Thanks."
"Don't mention it."
"I won't. But I'll tip for it." Faith handed a $5 bill to the bartender.
Anne walked over, holding a drink. "I'm bored."
"Anne, do you know what it takes to get in here?"
"Still bored."
Faith nodded. "Well, Cordy's not."
Anne looked. Cordelia and Wilson were sitting on a couch, talking.
Anne yawned. "So, anyway, I've been checking out this property in Crenshaw. I think it might make a good location for-"
"Shh!" Faith shushed her.
Anne sighed. Faith listened in on the conversation.
"So you left Sunnydale and came to LA. What was that like?"
"Like skydiving without a parachute, except for the smashing-your-body-to-bits part."
Wilson chuckled.
Cordelia reconsidered. "Actually, no, it was like that, too. Oh, and that guy that was supposed to be here when you arrive-"
"The guy?"
"With the big bag of fame and fortune."
"Oh, that guy."
"So what happened to him?"
"He comes and goes. He's sort of fleeting that way."
"Well, if you see him, will you tell him to fleet my way?"
Wilson laughed and nodded. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For making me not hate dating. Serena is really something. I'm going to send her flowers-"
Cordelia looked at him.
"-for introducing you to me."
"I knew that." Cordelia laughed. "God, for the first time, I like LA. In high school, I knew my place, and, okay, it was a haughty place, and maybe I was a tad shallow."
"Oh, hey, nobody feels like they belong here. I mean that's the point of L.A.: to make you feel as insecure as possible."
"You don't feel that way."
"Sure, I do."
"Right. You're doing what you came to L.A. to do. You're photographing all these gorgeous, famous people. Where is the insecure?"
"In the pictures, which are further proof that everybody is having a real life except me. I'm the guy behind the camera, watching and recording life, not...living it...each and every moment...like you."
"Wow, I'm living life? Look at me."
"Look at you."
Cordelia unlocked and opened the door to her apartment. "Well, here we are." She turned around in the doorway. "Thank you for the club and for driving me home and listening to my entire life's story. I think I may have left out a couple of weeks in early 1987, but-"
"I had a great time, and you didn't talk too much. I want to know everything about you."
Cordelia stepped backwards, into her apartment. "Me, too. I mean...about you, not me...because I already know about me..."
Wilson stepped over the threshold and kissed her on the lips. "Call you tomorrow?"
"Um, you don't have to..."
Wilson laughed. "Call you?"
"Go home? I mean right away? It's still early-"
Wilson looked at his watch.
"-in Australia."
They laughed.
"Will you come in?" Cordelia invited.
Wilson walked in and looked around. "Nice."
Cordelia closed the door and dimmed the lights. "Yeah, compared to my old apartment, it's Buckingham Palace."
"You live alone, right?"
"Well..."
Veruca walked out of her bedroom, naked. "Oh. Hey."
Wilson looked at her but then quickly looked away. "Hey."
Cordelia forced a smile. "Hey. Veruca, this is Wilson. Wilson, this is my roommate, Veruca."
Veruca smiled. "All right, Cordy, work it, get some."
Cordelia dropped her smile. "Ruc, what are you doing up...and about?"
Veruca shrugged. "Couldn't sleep. Probably drank too much Red Bull before our set."
"I've heard your music. You don't need to be wired to sing those songs. And I meant your condition."
"I've got it under control. It's no big."
"I better go. I'll call you." Wilson headed for the door. "Good night."
Cordelia looked at him. "Good night."
Wilson opened the door and walked outside, closing the door behind him.
Cordelia walked over and locked the door, and then she turned and stared at Veruca in annoyance. Eventually, she grudgingly shrugged. "Congratulations."
"Thanks." Veruca walked into the kitchen, grabbed a dozen Slim Jims, and went back to her bedroom without another word.
The next morning, Cordelia walked into the office of Angel Investigations, set her purse on her desk, and went to pour herself a cup of coffee.
Angel walked out of his office. "Hey."
Cordelia looked at him. "Hey."
"So...how was your date last night?"
"Well, I thought it would end great. Wilson drove me home. I invited him in-"
"You did?"
"And then Veruca showed up and ruined everything."
Angel stared at her for a moment. "Did she eat him?"
"What? No! She's got the werewolf under control. The meditation works."
"Oh. Good...I guess."
"She woke up and came out of her room, buck-ass naked. Scared him off." Cordelia took a sip of her coffee and grimaced.
"Oh. Uh, um, damn it."
Cordelia gave him a look. "I appreciate the effort."
The telephone rang.
Cordelia walked over to her desk, set her mug down, and picked up the receiver. "Angel Investigations. We help the hopeless."
"Hello, is this Cordelia?"
"The one and only. Accept no substitutes."
"My name is Emily Geiss. You were handing out business cards at La Brea last night."
"Yeah. You need help with something?"
"Oh, yeah."
Angel and Cordelia walked up to Emily's apartment door. Angel knocked on the door. They waited. There was no response.
Angel banged his fist on her door. "Emily!"
No response.
Angel turned the knob, breaking the lock, and walked in. Cordelia followed.
Angel looked around the apartment. "Emily?" He waited. "I'm getting a bad feeling here."
Cordelia closed the door. "I thought it was just me."
Angel opened the bedroom door. The door swung open, and they stared at Emily, a young, very pregnant woman with short blonde hair, sitting up in bed.
Cordelia stared at her in shock. "Mother of God."
"Angel?" Emily asked.
Angel came into the bedroom. "It's all right. We're here."
Cordelia walked into the bedroom.
Emily looked at Angel. "Help me."
Angel sat down on the edge of the bed. "We're going to. What do you remember?"
Emily was close to crying. "Well, we went to the club. And Jason drove me home, and I asked him in. He was really nice. And we, uh, you know? It was normal. He was normal, and it was safe; it was - it was all really safe!"
"Shh, shh. It's okay. Have you talked to Jason?"
"No. I haven't talked to anyone. What would I say to him? 'I had a really great time; I think you left something at my place'? I don't think this is right."
Angel reached for her cordless phone and held it out to her. "Whatever is happening to you, he may have some answers."
"I can't."
"Just dial his number, and I'll talk to him."
Emily took the phone and dialed. "Oh, God. I'm being punished."
"You're certainly not being punished. This is..." Cordelia paused, suddenly at a loss for words. "We'll get to the bottom of it."
Angel took the phone and listened. Cordelia was standing close enough that she overheard the message: "The number you have reached has been disconnected; there is no new number at this time." Cordelia frowned.
Angel ended the call. "He's not answering right now. I want you to rest, and we're going to handle this. Hey! You're not alone."
Emily looked at her belly. "That's sort of the problem, isn't it?"
Cordelia and Angel looked at each other.
"Could you...just leave me alone for now?" Emily requested.
Angel got up. "We're going to be right outside."
He and Cordelia left the bedroom, and Cordelia closed the door. Cordelia looked at Angel and sighed.
Angel called Wesley and got him over to Emily's apartment. Then he tried calling Jason's business phone number. Finally, he called Kate.
"Thanks." Angel ended the call.
"Any luck with your contact?" Wesley asked him.
"Jason's home and business phones have been disconnected, no unlisted numbers, no forwarding addresses, no criminal record."
"Well, that's something."
Angel sighed. "I'm guessing it's some kind of procrea-parasitic demon."
"Hmm, a demon who can only reproduce by implanting a human woman with its seed. Yes, I've heard of such entities. The human mothers-"
"Rarely survive labor, and the ones that do wish they hadn't."
"If she's that pregnant in one night, she could give birth at any moment."
"We have to move fast. You're gonna have to see what's inside her."
"I beg your pardon?" Wesley asked, shocked.
Angel smiled. "Prenatal exam, Wesley."
Wesley looked uncomfortable. "Oh, of course."
Cordelia put a hand on his shoulder. "I'll handle that, Wes."
"Oh, thank you." Wesley looked at Angel. "And what about you?"
"I'm going to find Daddy."
Cordelia took Emily to PIH Health Good Samaritan Hospital and got her checked in. They waited in the waiting room.
A pregnant woman sitting next to Emily looked at her. "Do you know what it is?"
Emily looked at her in shock.
"Boy or girl?"
Cordelia sat down next to Emily. "Shouldn't be long." She leaned forward, close to Emily's ear. "I told them that it was really urgent."
"You're carrying low. I bet it's-" The pregnant woman reached over towards Emily.
Emily jumped in her chair, freaked. "Shut up! Don't touch me!"
Cordelia stared at Emily in concern.
The doctor examined Emily. "You're what, eight-and-a-half months along?"
Cordelia looked at Emily. "Feels like only yesterday, doesn't it?"
"Well, I see you left a lot of blanks on the patient information form. It would help to have the name of your previous doctor."
Emily looked at him. "You're the only doctor we've been to-"
"-in California!" Cordelia quickly interrupted. "We just moved here from...Canada."
"Lovely country. So how are you feeling?"
"I'm as big as a house, everything hurts, I-"
"That's all normal at this stage. And once your little one comes out, which will probably be in no time, you'll feel a lot better."
"God, it's a nightmare."
The doctor and the nurse stared at Emily.
Cordelia took Emily's hand. "Hold on."
"All right, Mrs. Penborn, why don't you lie back and see what's baking in the oven?" the doctor suggested.
Emily lay back with a sigh, and the doctor and the nurse started the ultrasound.
"Have you folks settled on a name yet?" the doctor asked. "It's the hardest part for a lot of people."
Cordelia stood next to Emily, giving her a reassuring smile.
The doctor looked at the monitor. "Hmm, looks like somebody is having twins."
"Twins?!" Emily and Cordelia blurted in shock.
The doctor was still looking at the screen. "No, there is a third heartbeat."
The nurse stared. "There is another one."
Cordelia went to look over the doctor's shoulder.
"Five...six."
Emily stared at her belly and shook her head.
"Oh, my God!" the doctor exclaimed.
"What is it? What's wrong?" Emily asked.
"I-I'm sure it's nothing. But I-I'd like to withdraw...a little of the amniotic fluid just - just to make sure that everything is, uh...shipshape."
Emily narrowed her eyes at him.
"So, nurse, if you would prep Mrs. Penborn right away?" the doctor suggested.
Cordelia stared at the screen, then looked over at Emily.
The doctor had a syringe in his hand. "I need to tell you that there is a 0.5% chance of miscarriage from the procedure. Now, it's a very small risk-"
"I'll take it."
"Now, you'll feel a pinch. Just count backwards from five, and we'll be done."
"5...4...3...2...1...1...1...1!"
The doctor withdrew the needle and stared at the fluid. "All done." He handed it to the nurse. "Now, that wasn't too bad, was it? Now, we'll just run a few tests-"
The nurse turned back around, staring at the syringe in horror. "Dr. Wasserman?"
The syringe cracked, and the nurse dropped it and jumped back with a scream. The doctor looked at the syringe on the floor as the fluid started to eat through the floor.
"This is, um..." The doctor paused. "Excuse me."
He and the nurse left the room. Cordelia bent down to get a closer look at the hole in the floor, then looked over at Emily, her mouth hanging open.
"You saw what's inside of me?" Emily asked her.
"I think we should find Angel."
"Cordy, please just tell me!"
Cordelia didn't look at her. "Emily-"
"Do they look healthy?"
Cordelia stared at her.
Emily leaned forward and screamed. Cordelia held her as they rode down in the elevator to Angel's apartment.
Cordelia lifted the metal grating and led Emily out. "It's all going to work out. You'll see, everything's going to be just fine."
"I know it will be."
Cordelia led her into Angel's bedroom. "I'm sure Angel won't mind if you rest in here. Just relax, get comfortable...well, uh, as comfortable as possible." She covered her up with a blanket. "If you need anything, anything at all...I'll just-"
Emily looked hard at her. "You're afraid."
"What?"
"You're afraid of what's inside of me. You think it's horrible. You think that I won't be able to handle it. That if I find out, I'll do something...bad."
"Emily, we don't know anything yet. I'm gonna get my assistant on this, and - and the moment there is anything concrete to report-"
Emily rubbed her belly. "There is seven of them. There is seven of his children...growing inside of me. They are talking to me. They're talking all at once." She looked at her belly. "I can't understand."
Cordelia sat down on the edge of the bed.
"Cordy..."
"Yeah?"
"They're not human."
"I imagine that's true."
Emily sunk back into the cushions and closed her eyes with a sigh. Cordelia stood up and pulled the blanket up to her chin, then looked at her for a moment. She turned away to find Angel standing in the door to the bedroom. They looked at each other for a moment, then Cordelia followed Angel into the main apartment.
"Any luck locating Jason?" Cordelia asked.
"Not yet. But I did find Emily's friend, Serena Duplaix. She's a victim, too. As big as Emily. Wilson's rich buddies are in on it." Angel started flipping through a phone book. "Four of them, maybe more; I don't know how many women they've impregnated."
Cordelia showed him a piece of paper. "And it's worse than you know. The ultrasound results. Seven heartbeats, at least, maybe more. And with multiple pregnancies-"
"Someone is raising an army."
"An army of what?"
"Good question. We need to find the demon fathers."
Cordelia saw what section of the yellow pages that Angel was looking at. "Gun clubs? Guns can kill them? Well, that makes it easier."
"Serena said Wilson and his buddies hang out at some private gun club. Guns and Cigars. She doesn't know where, exactly. While I find them, you and Wes should be narrowing down the species. Maybe we can figure out a way to terminate this without hurting her."
"And if we can't?"
Angel ripped out a page and sighed. "Then we need to know what to do once they're born."
Cordelia followed Angel out of the living room. "Yeah, well, it mustn't come to that. The odds of her even surviving are..."
They stopped as they entered the kitchen area and saw Emily standing in front of the open refrigerator, gulping down blood out of a clear container. Some of it ran down her chin.
Angel swallowed. "I don't think I ever realized just how disgusting that was. Get her back to bed."
"'Kay."
"Maybe order her a pizza or something."
"Good idea."
Angel stared at Emily. "Uh..."
Emily put the half-empty container back in the fridge, wiped the blood on her mouth on her sleeve, and walked past them. "I was hungry."
In Professor Walsh's office, Walsh was sitting behind her desk and had a serious expression on her face. Buffy was sitting in front of Walsh's desk, and Riley stood slightly behind her left shoulder.
"So...the Slayer."
"Yeah. That's me."
"We thought you were a myth."
Buffy smiled. "Well, you were myth-taken."
Walsh stared at her, stone-faced. "And to think, all that time, you were sitting in my class. Well, most of those times. I always knew you could do better than a B-minus. Now, I understand your energies were directed in the same places as ours, in fact. It's only our methods that differ. We use the latest in scientific technology and state-of-the-art weaponry, and you, if I understand correctly, poke them with a sharp stick."
Buffy stared at her, upset. "Well, it's more effective than it sounds."
"Oh, I'm, heh, quite sure of that. As I'm just as sure that we can learn much from each other. I'm working on getting you clearance to come into the Initiative. I think you'll find the results of our operation most impressive. Agent Finn here, alone, has killed or captured - how many is it?"
"Seventeen. Eleven vampires, six demons."
Buffy detected a note of pride in his voice. She smiled in amusement.
"What about you?" Walsh asked her.
"Me?"
"How many hostiles would you say you've slain?"
Buffy considered. "Seventeen..."
Walsh looked slightly surprised.
Buffy smiled broadly. "...last week."
In Giles' apartment, he was dusting inside one of his bookcases. He stopped as he suddenly remembered something. He held the feather duster between his teeth and took an old tome from the shelf. He opened it and sat down on a cushion footrest. He read, then did a calculation with his fingers.
Giles removed the feather duster and stood up. "Oh, shit."
He went to his work desk, gathered supplies, and put them in his bag as he picked up the phone and called Tara.
"Hello?"
"Tara, it's me. Is Buffy there?"
"Not at the moment, why?"
"There's an emergency."
"A big one? Because I think she'll be back soon."
"No, we can't wait for her, Tara. The demon Prince Barvain is going to rise tonight."
"That's bad, right?"
"Well..." Giles paused. "Where is she, exactly?"
Buffy and Riley were walking outside on the UC Sunnydale campus, approaching a large, flowing fountain.
Riley had a stunned expression on his face. "Wow."
Buffy shrugged. "Those are my best stories. And I didn't tell you the 'Buffy breaks her ass' stories."
"But you've killed a..." Riley paused. "You did the thing with that..." He paused again. "Uh, you drowned. And the snake! Not to mention the...daily...slayage of..." He paused again. "Wow."
"It's no big, really." Buffy cheered up when she saw a cart. "Hey, who wants ice cream?!"
"Buffy. When I saw you stop the world from, you know, ending...I just assumed that was a big week for you. Turns out I suddenly find myself...needing to know the plural of 'apocalypse'."
They stopped at the ice cream cart.
"Three scoops of chocolate in a waffle cone, please."
The owner rang it up. "$3.45."
Riley look out his wallet. "Here, I'll get it."
Buffy was surprised. "Okay, thanks."
Riley paid. Buffy received her ice cream cone. They resumed walking and rounded the fountain.
Buffy licked her ice cream. "Look. If you've been fighting since you were sixteen, you'd have a hefty résumé, too."
"Sixteen?!" Riley asked in shock.
Buffy rolled her eyes. "I know, 'Wow'. The point is that we have different amounts of experience. You know. And plus, I do have that whole preternatural Slayer strength deal."
Riley nodded. "I've seen. Don't get me wrong. The girls I grew up with could hold their own. But...I'm not even sure I could take you."
Buffy stopped and looked at him. "Come by the campus gym tonight. We'll see how you do."
Riley stared at her in confusion. "'We'?"
Cordelia opened the door and walked out of the bathroom. "Okay, Wes, hand me another book." She saw Wesley lying on the floor, unconscious. "Shit!" She ran over and crouched down next to him. She started slapping him repeatedly across the face. "Wake up!"
Harmony and Tara were at Giles' sides as they walked through the cemetery at night. The women were holding axes and walking in a quick pace to keep up with him.
"This prince/demon guy was supposed to rise at sunset, so aren't we, like, late?" Harmony asked him.
"Of course, if I hadn't had to search the globe for our Miss Summers and do battle with that harridan-"
"And if you hadn't gotten lost on campus afterwards-"
Giles looked at Tara sharply. "Never mind. I'll just have to take care of it myself. I've vanquished a few demons in my day without her. Of course, it wouldn't surprise me if we're entirely too late. Demon on the loose, carnage everywhere."
Tara shrugged. "Y'know, Amy and I probably could've come up with a spell to do that, if we had more lead time."
"Where is Amy, anyway?" Giles asked her.
"Couldn't make it. Buffy wanted at least one of us at Slayer School to provide a flying target."
Harmony nodded. "Yeah, so let's wrap this up, huh?"
They'd reached a large mausoleum and stepped inside through the wrought iron gate. Giles opened the inner door, and they walked down the foyer steps. They saw the place was in order - except for a lot of cobwebs decorating the walls.
Harmony made a face, grossed out. "Your better demons will clean up after themselves."
Giles was confused. "I don't understand." He moved to the center of the chamber, scanning with his flashlight. "Umm, there should be ruptured earth and - and broken stone. Oh, well, apparently, it hasn't happened yet. A bit of luck." Giles set his bag down on the floor and opened it to begin pulling out his supplies.
"Maybe you miscalculated."
Giles paused and looked up at Harmony.
Harmony shrugged. "Well, you're kinda known for it."
"Or you know what, I bet?" Tara asked. "I-I bet the Initiative took care of it."
Harmony nodded. "Riley and his guys. Probably all over it."
Tara nodded. "Yeah. It has that 'too neat' look. They must have cleaned up the place. They read hot spots. Areas of otherworldly energy." She looked around. "They must've picked this place up days ago."
Giles stood up and faced them in frustration, raising the flashlight almost to their faces. "I get the idea."
Tara and Harmony exchanged a nervous glance.
Giles sighed. "Well, don't I just feel like a stupid, old fool?"
Harmony was confused. "How are we supposed to know?"
Tara elbowed Harmony in the ribs. "So th-the demon is probably a little late. W-We'll just, you know-"
"Oh, forget it. Go on. You two clear off. I'll just stay a little longer just in case."
"You sure?" Tara asked. "'Cause we can stay."
"No. Go."
Tara and Harmony beat feet out of the mausoleum.
Giles sat down on a stone bench in silence for a few seconds. "Who am I kidding?" He stuffed his supplies back in his bag and hurried to the door. "Nothing is gonna happen." He left, closing it behind him.
He headed away for a bit but then heard what sounded like a voice.
Giles turned around, opened the door, and shined the flashlight inside. "Did someone-?"
"Oh, bugger! I thought you'd gone!" Ethan Rayne exclaimed.
Giles stepped down to Ethan's level, not happy to see him. "Ethan Rayne. You have no idea how much thrashing you is gonna improve my day."
Ethan tried to bolt past Giles, but Giles clubbed him in the gut with the flashlight, and Ethan fell forward. Giles jerked him back up and was ready pummel him, raising a fist.
Ethan put his hands up to ward off the attack, scared. "No, no, no! Wait! Hang on! You - You can beat the shit out of me. Go ahead, I can't stop you!"
Giles cocked back his fist.
"Or - Or you can listen to what I have to say. Find out what's going on."
"What are you talking about?"
"Something bad is happening. Bad for both of us."
"Bad for you." Giles cocked his fist again.
"No, no, no! Listen! You have to listen! You're going to need time to prepare!"
Cordelia slapped Wesley one more time. "Wake up!"
Wesley regained consciousness, opened his eyes, and pushed himself up off the floor, holding his head.
Cordelia sighed. "Finally!"
Wesley picked his glasses off the floor. "Oh, Cordelia, thank God."
The phone rang.
Cordelia stood up straight, walked over, and picked up the handset. "Hello?"
"Yeah, Cordy, it's Angel. I found Jason. Whatever it is Emily is carrying around inside her, he's not the father."
"I know. It's a Haxil beast, an inner earth demon."
"Good job."
Cordelia smiled. "Thanks!" Then she reconsidered. "Well, actually, Wesley found it."
"Put him on."
Cordelia offered the handset to Wesley.
Wesley took it. "Oh, this is all my fault."
"How is what your fault?"
"Emily ran off. I tried to stop her. She became insanely protective when I identified the Haxil as the father of her - her, uh,...I fear she may have gone off to rendezvous with it."
"She has. Miliken Industrial Park in Reseda."
"What?"
"That's where Wilson and his friends built their shrine."
"How does Emily know that?"
"She's telepathically linked to its unborn. That's how it's controlling Emily."
"Of course, a psychic umbilical cord. The Haxil's telepathic connection is what's sustaining its unborn spawn."
"So all we have to do is cut the cord."
"We slay this demon, and poof! No more evil pregnancies. Well, this is good news. We can end this without harming the women. There is just one tiny problem."
"What's that?"
"Well, I don't wish to use the words 'impossible to kill', but fire won't kill it, decapitation won't, and it's really huge."
Cordelia thought of something. She grabbed the handset from Wesley. "Angel, I've got a crazy idea."
Giles and Ethan went to a bar. It was dimly lit and had a slight honky-tonk feel to it. A jukebox was playing music somewhere. Ethan and Giles were sitting at a booth as a waitress was serving them their draft beers.
Ethan removed his gray trench coat. "Brilliant! Now, isn't this more fun than kicking my arse?"
"No."
"Oh. It's more fun for me."
The waitress walked away.
Giles raised his glass. "Just tell me what you want to tell me."
"Oh, so crass. We used to be friends, Ripper. When did all that fall apart?"
"The same time you started to worship chaos."
"Oh, religious intolerance. Sad, there. I mean...just look at the Irish Troubles."
Annoyed, Giles started to rise to leave.
"Oh, hang on, I'll tell ya."
Giles settled down again.
"Something happening in the darkworlds. It's always been rumors out there, but...only one thing's coming through clear: that something's harming demons, and it's not the Slayer. Know anything about it?"
Giles took a drink. "What are they saying?"
"Heh, you know demons. It's all exaggeration and blank verse. 'Pain as bright as steel', things like that. They're scared. There's something called '314' that's got them scared most of all. The kind of scared that turns to angry. I know we're not particularly fond of each other, Rupert."
Giles chuckled scoffingly.
"But we are a couple of old mystics. This new outfit, it's blundering into new places it doesn't belong. It's throwing the worlds out of balance. And that's way beyond chaos, mate. We're headed quite literally for one hell of a fight."
Amy was flying through the air, dodging and magically deflecting arrows fired by the other students. Buffy was throwing jabs, sparring with Riley on workout mats. They were circling each other. He was dressed in sweats and a T-shirt. Buffy was in a white, long-sleeve shirt and blue jeans. She threw a few more jabs, and he blocked them and countered with a one-two combo that Buffy easily ducked under. They continued to circle. Buffy launched three roundhouse kicks in quick succession. He blocked the first two, then sidestepped the third, got up behind her, and wrapped his arms around her.
Riley smiled. "Are you pulling back?"
Buffy grinned. "Are you?"
Riley shrugged. "Maybe a little."
Buffy suddenly spun out of the hold, and Riley was thrown off his feet, spinning before hitting the mat on his back. He looked up.
Buffy smiled down at him. "Maybe a little, too."
Riley smiled and kicked himself to his feet. They began to circle again.
Riley grinned. "I'll go all out, if you will."
"Are you sure?" Buffy asked him.
Riley got serious. "Here we go."
Riley stepped in with a combination of hard-swinging hooks that Buffy was quick to block. She ducked under his last punch and captured his legs in a scissor hold and took him down with her. Riley quickly rolled out of her legs and scrambled to his feet. Buffy was quicker and was waiting for him. She hit him in the chest with a side kick that launched him into the air. He flew across the room, over a gymnastic pommel horse, and landed on a thick fall cushion. The impact upset another large cushion leaning against the wall, and it fell on top of him.
Buffy was shocked at what she did. "Riley!" She ran over to him and tossed the cushion off him. "Are you hurt?"
Riley sat up, a hand on his chest. He looked winded and humbled. "I, uh,..." He groaned. "I don't think so."
"I'm so sorry. I-I didn't mean to, uh-"
"It's fine. I'm good." Riley offered a slight grin.
Buffy frowned, not feeling much better. "I guess I should have held back a bit more."
Riley stared at her in shock.
Cordelia, armed with a crossbow, and Wesley entered a warehouse, stepped around a corner, and saw the women, wearing white robes, in a big vat filled with some yellow-brown liquid.
"Emily!" Wesley walked up to the edge of the vat. "Come out of there this instant!" He looked at the other women. "All of you, please!"
Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Yeah, that'll work."
Emily looked at him. "We don't expect you to understand."
"I understand." Wesley walked up the steps to stand on the wide concrete rim of the vat and crouched down beside Emily. "You'll die unless you come with me, and that is the most vile-smelling filth I've ever had the displeasure of inhaling. Now, don't make me come in there after you."
"We serve our master."
"Please come before-"
The ground began to shake with thundering footsteps. They all looked at the huge Haxil demon stepping through a hole in the wall.
"Who is the interloper to think you could disturb the birth of my children? Who are you?"
Wesley stood up. "Wesley Wyndham-Pryce, rogue demon hunter." He put up his fists. "And I'm here to fight you, sir, to the death - preferably yours."
"You?"
"As a heathen, I wouldn't expect you to be familiar with the Biblical story of David and Goliath. But I assure you it's of particular relevance to this situation."
"You said you came here to do battle, then let's fight and be done."
Wesley looked around, then slowly inched closer to the demon on the rim of the vat. "Yes, well, as a point of courtesy, I like to get to know my opponents before I engage them in mortal combat. Do you, uh, do you have any hobbies?"
"Enough talk. I'll come to you."
Angel rolled a gas tank filled with liquid nitrogen down a ramp, drawing everyone's attention.
Angel walked down the ramp. "Sorry I'm late to the baby shower. Brought a little gift."
Angel picked up the tank, spun, and threw it like a discus up at the Haxil, who caught it easily out of the air.
Cordelia raised the crossbow and shot a hole in the tank. The Haxil dropped the tank, and a stream of liquid nitrogen shot out of the hole, up at him. The demon screamed in the fog. The women in the vat screamed, their bellies slowly deflating. Cordelia, Wesley, and Angel stared as the demon froze. The women stopped screaming.
Cordelia stared up at the frozen demon. "Fatality."
Emily looked around, then walked up the steps, out of the vat. She walked up to Cordelia, who backed a couple steps away from her. Emily then grabbed a big pulley hanging on a rope and swung it into the Haxil demon, shattering its frozen body.
Emily stared at it in disgust. "I really hate dating."
Giles and Ethan's table was cluttered with glasses and shot glasses, mostly empty, and they were both drunk and on the verge of passing out.
"You know what gets me?" Giles asked. "This is what gets me. Twenty years, I've been fighting demons. Maggie Walsh and her nancy-ninja boys come in, and, six months later, demons are pissing themselves with fear. They never even noticed me."
"Who's Maggie Walsh?" Ethan asked.
"Oh, she's awful. Fuck her."
"You know, you're really very attractive."
"Hm?" Giles asked.
He saw Ethan was talking to the waitress, who was serving them another round.
Ethan started writing something on a piece of paper. "Here's my name and number." He handed it to her. "You give me a call, I'll show you a good time."
"Yeah, thanks." The waitress left.
"We gotta face it: we've changed. Well, not you. You're still sadistic and self-centered."
Ethan toasted himself. "Here's to me."
"The world has passed us by. Someone snuck in and left us a couple of has-beens in our place. This Initiative, I mean, their methods may be causing problems, but they're getting the job done. Where am I? I'm an unemployed librarian with a tendency to get knocked on the head."
"Well, we won't have to worry about that anymore now, mate. When you went to the loo, I slipped a small pellet of poison in your drink. You'll be dead in an hour."
After a moment, the words sunk in for Giles, and he sobered a bit.
Ethan grinned. "Just kidding!"
They both burst out laughing.
Giles calmed down. "I'm gonna feel like hell in the morning."
"Relax. Enjoy the night. We're just a couple of sorcerers. The night is still our time. Time of magic."
They raised their glasses in a toast.
Giles smiled. "To magic."
Back in the office of Angel Investigations, Cordelia was sitting at her desk, and Angel, Wesley, and Katrina were standing in front of it.
Katrina smiled. "I'm glad that everything worked out."
Cordelia grinned. "You should have been there. It was really cool." She started chuckling.
Wesley rolled his eyes.
Katrina looked at Angel. "Uh, you will be getting a tank of that shit to Caltech before they notice it's missing, right?"
Angel nodded. "I'm on it."
"Cool." Katrina waved at everyone. "See ya." She headed for the door.
Cordelia smiled. "Later, Trina."
Giles stumbled into his bedroom, still quite drunk.
Jenny was sitting up in bed, working on her laptop. She looked at him. "Rupert?"
Giles smiled. "Oh, hi, Jenny!"
"Are you drunk?"
"I suppose, perhaps, um, that is to say..."
Jenny set her laptop aside, got out of bed, and helped Giles over to the bed. She helped him get in, and then she pulled up the covers.
Giles laughed. "Thank you."
"Where were you?"
"At a bar. Met an old mate."
"Who?"
Giles tried to recall the name. "Um..."
"Look, never mind. I gotta get some work done. I've got an early class tomorrow." Jenny kissed Giles on the lips. "I'll sleep downstairs. Good night."
"Good night."
Jenny picked up her laptop and turned off the light on her way out of the room.
The next morning, Giles' alarm buzzer went off, and Giles woke up and shut it off. He got out of bed, left the bedroom, and walked down the stairs.
Giles yawned. "I feel like hell in the morning."
He reached the landing and stopped in front of a small mirror hanging on the wall while he released a big yawn, stretching his arms. He smacked his lips when the yawn was done and finally opened his sleepy eyes and stared in shock at his reflection in the mirror. He was a demon: light brownish tan skin and long horns sprouting from the sides of his forehead, curving back and around his really long, hairy ears, ending in sharp points next to his cheeks. He had a set of fangs much like a vampire's.
Giles' eyes popped wide open. "Uh! Wha-Wha-" He touched his horns. "No!"
Leaning closer to the mirror, he put a hand on the wall, and his now-clawed hand went through it. Giles was in a state of disbelief as he pulled his hand back out and absently rested it on the stairs' banister. It was instantly ripped from the railing.
Giles looked at what he did. "Damn!"
He took the final steps down to the first floor and threw the banister down, where it hit a chair and shattered it.
Giles looked around, confused, then was struck by a thought. "Ethan."
He noticed his voice had taken on a low, gravelly sound. He went to pick up the phone, and it shattered in his hand before he could lift it to his ear. He dropped it and moved to pick up his shirt from the floor. He struggled to get into the sleeves and, when he tried to shrug into it, his now jutting, ridged spine ripped it down the middle.
Giles grimaced. "Oh, and I liked that shirt!"
He traded the shredded shirt for a thick flannel blanket and wrapped it around his shoulders as he headed for the door. He grabbed the handle, and the door came off its hinges, but Giles was beyond caring at this point and stepped outside.
Giles quietly approached Harmony as she was walking from her car in the student parking lot toward the campus, a Starbucks cup filled with sugary goodness in her hand.
"Harmony. Don't turn around yet. When you look at me...you may be a little alarmed, but there's no need; it-it's me. Giles. Now, Ethan has turned me into a demon, and I need your help."
Harmony turned around.
"Hello. Yes, it's me."
Unfortunately, Harmony's perception of the encounter was much different: a scary-looking demon was speaking a demon language. She screamed, turned, and ran away.
"Harmony, listen! Don't you understand me?" Giles asked.
"Demon! Demon!" Harmony shouted.
"Please, don't you understand?" Giles asked.
Harmony started grabbing random items off benches and threw them at him.
"No, no! Don't! Harmony! Harmony, calm down! Ow! You're just a little overwrought. Oww!" Giles growled in frustration and ran away.
"That's right! Run for your life!" Harmony yelled.
Giles went across the street, running across a lawn. Children were playing, and Giles was stepping on their toys scattered on the grass. Kids were frightened, and a mother was reaching for her child.
Giles panicked. "Oh, God. I'm sorry!"
The mother grabbed her child. "Call 911!"
Giles ran away. "Bloody humans!"
Buffy and Tara were having breakfast in the Rocket Cafe on campus.
Buffy was happily stacking her pancakes on her plate. "I like pancakes, 'cause they're stackable." She looked at Tara's plate. "Ooh, and waffles, 'cause you can put things in the little holes, if you wanted to."
Tara laughed. "You're in a good mood."
"I am. I had a great birthday. No one tried to poison or kill me. Life is good." Buffy picked up a bottle of maple syrup, opened it, and squeezed a generous amount onto her pancakes.
Tara sobered a little. "Well, there might be something."
"Oh?" Buffy asked, sticking pieces of pancakes into her mouth.
"I think there's something out there. Last night, Amy and I were practicing magic, and I-I felt this presence. This dark magic energy. It's new."
"Someone doing magic?" Buffy asked.
"Maybe. If so, it's someone pretty powerful."
"Hmm. I'll tell Giles about it. Or maybe I'll tell Jenny. She's close by."
"Tell Mr. Giles. He's feeling a little hurt right now."
Buffy frowned in question.
"He's feeling neglected and useless."
Buffy smiled cheerfully. "I'll make it up to him when I see him."
Harmony ran up to them. "Guys! We've got a mucho problemo!"
After doing some investigating and coming up with nothing, Buffy led the way down the steps in the courtyard of Giles' apartment building with Tara, Harmony, and Jenny behind her.
"So it had pointy things. What kind of pointy things?" Buffy asked Harmony.
"The pointy kind. And tufty ears. Oh, and it might have a book-shaped bruise."
They stopped walking.
"Mr. Giles will know what it...was." Tara noticed something.
They saw Giles' door was off its hinges, leaning against the inside wall. They hurried in.
"Giles?" Buffy called.
Jenny went up the stairs to check the loft. "Rupert?!"
Buffy surveyed the damage. "Looks like Harmony wasn't the only one to get a visitor today."
Jenny walked back down. "He's not upstairs."
Tara started to worry. "Oh, Goddess, Mr. Giles."
"Okay. There's a demon, and Giles is gone. But it doesn't mean that he's hurt. I mean...there's no blood anywhere, so maybe the demon just took him somewhere?" Buffy suggested, trying to sound optimistic.
Harmony picked up Giles' ripped shirt and held it up for inspection. "I think it ate him up."
Buffy, Tara, and Jenny became more worried.
Giles was lumbering through the cemetery, still wrapped in his blanket, in a miserable mood. He walked past a stone mausoleum.
"Well. What do I spy with my little eye?"
Giles stopped at the sound of Spike's voice.
"A demon. That would be...oh, right...the things I can kill."
"Spike. Wonderful. A perfect end to a perfect day."
"Giles?"
Giles turning around, fists up. "Go on, then. Let's get on with the fighting..." He paused. "You understand me?"
"Of course, I understand you."
"I'm speaking English?"
"No, you're speaking Fyarl. I happen to speak Fyarl. And...by the way, why the hell are you suddenly a Fyarl demon? You just come over all demony this morning?" Spike stepped back to the mausoleum, pulling out his smokes.
Giles followed him. "As a matter of fact, I did. Thanks to Ethan Rayne. You have to help me find him. He must undo this, and then he needs a...good being killed."
Spike took a cigarette out of the pack and lit it. "And I'm just supposed to help you out of the evilness of my heart?"
"Y-You help me, and I-I don't kill you."
"Oh, tremendously convincing. Try it again without the stutter." Spike took a drag.
"Money. I could pay you money."
Spike stepped closer and flicked his cigarette away. "Oh, I like money. How much?"
"A h-hundred dollars."
"A hundred dollars? You'll have to do a lot better than that. Two-hundred."
"Fine."
Spike was surprised for a second. "Right, then."
"Right, then."
"So what's first?" Spike grinned. "I run and tell the Slayer what you've gotten yourself into?"
"No. When I find Ethan, I can clear all this up without Buffy ever having to find out that anything happened to me at all."
Giles started out of the cemetery, and Spike followed.
In Giles' apartment, Harmony was sitting at Giles' desk, looking through several open books. Everyone was looking through books.
"Okay, that's a giant vulture. I'd have mentioned it, if it was a giant vulture." Harmony checked another book.
Tara stepped away from Harmony and toward Buffy. "Buffy, even if we figure out what kind of demon got Mr. Giles...I mean...how are we gonna find it?"
"We'll figure it out." Buffy showed a book to Harmony. "Oh, this one has tufty ears."
She looked at the page and dismissed it with a wave. They all looked towards the door when they heard a noise outside.
"What was that?" Tara whispered.
Buffy moved quietly to the door, pulling out a stake. The door moved, and Buffy cocked back the stake.
"Buffy?" Riley asked.
Buffy lowered the stake. "Riley. What are you doing here?"
"There were 911 calls from a couple of different places. Including here."
"You get 911 calls?" Harmony asked him.
"We have a tap into the system. It flags things with possible nonhuman causes. We check them out." Riley looked at Buffy. "What are you doing here?"
"This is Giles' apartment. He's missing. The calls, did anyone see what did it?"
"Negative. No. Neighbors just heard, you know, growling, things breaking. Sounded like a struggle."
Jenny felt awful. "Poor Rupert."
Buffy looked at her and gave her a soft smile. "We'll get him back."
"What are you working on?" Riley asked Buffy.
"Uh, we have stuff. Pictures-"
Harmony looked at him. "We have nothing."
Buffy leaned against the wall, crestfallen.
Riley saw her expression. "I'll help. The whole Initiative. We'll do whatever you need."
"Thanks. I just wish I knew what I needed. I keep thinking 'Let's ask Giles', and then I remember."
Harmony looked at her. "He'd be great right now. He'd find himself in a second. Nobody is cooler in a crisis."
In Giles' Citroen, Giles was in the passenger seat, and Spike was behind the wheel, wrestling with the gearshift. The car sounded like it was being murdered.
"If you can't find third gear, don't try for third gear!" Giles told him.
"I'm doing my best. I don't know if I'm driving this thing or wearing it."
"It's perfectly serviceable."
Spike laughed. "Funny hearing a Fyarl demon say 'serviceable'. Had a couple of them working for me once. They're more like 'Like to crush. Crush now?' Strong, though. You won't meet a jar you can't open for the rest of your life."
Giles growled.
Spike looked at him. "What was that? Did you growl?"
"No. Listen, about this Fyarl demon. Do - Do I have special powers? Like setting things on fire with my sizzling eye beams?"
"Well, you got the mucous thing."
"What? Mucous?"
"Paralyzing mucous. Shoots out through the nose. Sets on fast. Hard as a rock. Pretty good in a fight."
"Are you making this up?"
Spike gave him a sly grin. "Maybe. But, hey, you feel a sneeze coming on, you warn me."
Giles growled. "Turn here."
He slammed his arm against the door for emphasis, and Spike made a left turn. The Citroen made its disapproval of this known with the grinding of gears.
"Downshift! Downshift!" Giles yelled.
"Calm down, will you?"
"I'm not sure I can. I feel like I'm changing."
Spike sighed. "Fine with me. So long as you pay me."
Giles growled. "I really like this feeling. Sort of mindless need to destroy. This anger and rage."
"Good times. Go with it."
"No."
"Oh, it's fun. I can't do it; do it for me. Now, let yourself go."
"I refuse to become a monster, because I look like a monster. I have a soul. I have a conscience. I am a human being." Giles saw Professor Walsh. "Oh, stop the car!"
Spike pulled the Citroen to a stop at the corner of Main Street. Professor Walsh had just crossed the street. Giles hopped out of the car, without his blanket, and creeped up behind her. When he was close enough, he roared and waved his claws in the air. Walsh looked over her shoulder and screamed and ran for her life as Giles chased her down the street, past the Espresso Pump. He stopped halfway down the street, but Walsh continued to flee. Giles hurried back to the car, ignoring the gaping stares of a few pedestrians.
Giles got in the car and closed the door. "Right. Let's go, then."
In Giles' apartment, the gang was gathered around the sofa. Harmony, Tara, and Jenny were sitting on the cushions, and Buffy was sitting on the arm of the sofa. Riley was standing behind it.
Harmony pointed into the book that she was holding and passed it to Tara. "That's the thing that attacked me."
Tara looked at it. "A Fyarl demon. Sort of a foot soldier type, works for other demons lots of the times. Very strong. Ugh! And, hey, mucous."
"Mucous?" Buffy asked.
Riley's cell phone beeped.
Riley pulled it out. "Agent Finn, go ahead."
"How do I kill it?" Buffy asked Tara.
"Silver. A weapon made of silver."
"Yes. I understand." Riley ended the call. "The demon attacked Professor Walsh. Got out of a small gray car. A Citroen."
Buffy looked at him. "It stole Giles' car."
"Why would a demon steal a car?" Jenny asked.
"Why would a demon steal that car?" Harmony asked.
"A demon that steals a car has a reason. A purpose. But it doesn't sound like these Fyarl demons are really big independent thinkers. So, Tara, the spells that are going wrong...could they be caused by someone using magic to control a demon? Making this Fyarl demon attack Giles?" Buffy asked.
"Yes. Yeah, that would draw in a lot of dark energy."
"Okay." Buffy stood up. "Tara, Harmony, Jenny, stay here. Whoever's controlling this demon may call and ask for a ransom. Give them anything they want."
Harmony stood up. "You got it." She rounded the couch and stepped towards Giles' desk.
"Riley, you and I are going to the magic shop. Maybe they needed supplies. Uh, something silver..." Buffy looked on the desk and picked up a letter opener.
"A letter opener?" Riley asked. "It's not very sharp."
"Then I'll have to put some muscle behind it." Buffy kissed Tara on the lips.
Riley followed Buffy out of the apartment.
Giles took Spike to the seedy place that he and Ethan had visited. Spike was on a stool, his back to the bar; the same waitress from last night was standing in front of him. Giles was sitting at the end of the bar, looking on, hidden under his blanket.
Spike threw back a shot and placed the glass on the bar. "Two of them. English like me. But older, less attractive. One of them gave you his number."
"I threw it out. I mean...I took one look and saw that he was staying at that rat trap. No, thanks."
"Which rat trap?"
"The one by the highway. The Sunnydale Motor Inn."
Spike smiled. "Thank you."
Buffy kicked in the door to the magic shop. She hurried inside with Riley following, and they went behind the register counter.
Buffy checked a bunch of papers. "Okay. Credit card slips, sales receipt. Help me look."
"You shouldn't have done that to the door."
Buffy didn't look at Riley. "I do not have time to play by the rules tonight."
"I have a master key. It opens every shop on Main Street."
"Oh. Well...next time, absolutely." Buffy opened a drawer and flipped through credit card slips.
Riley sighed. "I don't know what I'm looking for."
"I do." Buffy ripped free a slip. Pissed, she dumped the slips back in the drawer and slammed it. "Ethan Rayne."
"Who's that?" Riley asked.
Buffy handed it to him. "Professional bad guy. He's gotta be the guy that made the demon attack Giles."
Riley pulled out his cell phone.
"At least, we know who we're looking for."
"Command, are you there?"
"What are you doing?" Buffy asked him.
"It's Agent Finn. I need a search. Local hotel registrations matching the name Ethan Rayne. R-A-Y-N-E. Call me back." Riley flipped his phone closed.
"You can do that?" Buffy asked.
"It'll take a couple of minutes."
"Get in the car. Be ready to go." Buffy started walking.
Riley started to follow her out of the shop. "Buffy."
She stopped to face him.
"Earlier, when I talked to Professor Walsh, she gave me very specific orders."
"Yeah?"
"She said, when we located the demon, I...I'm not supposed to bring you along."
"Oh." Buffy turned to leave.
"Uh, what are you doing?"
Buffy faced him. "I'm going to the car."
"Buffy, I can't take you with me."
"You're not taking me with you. I am going, and I am letting you come along."
"Buffy, it's not really your call. This is a military operation now."
Buffy gave him a steely stare. "Then call out the troops. Because nothing less than that is gonna stop me. This demon did something to Giles, and I'm gonna kill it." She left.
In the Citroen, Giles was growling softly.
"How ya feeling, mate?" Spike asked.
Giles growled. "Like snapping necks until everyone is dead."
"Now, that sounds like a Fyarl demon. Good for you. Hey, picked up a tail."
"Yes. Just a little one. It hurts when I sit."
"I mean someone is following us. Humvee. Military."
"Well, speed up. Lose them."
"I got it floored. Why'd you buy this car?"
"Well, do something. If they catch us, we'll both end up in a lab!"
"It's getting closer. And it's got a friend!"
"Damn!" Giles slammed his arm against the door, but his fist found the window and shattered it.
"Oh, sure! Dismantle the getaway car. That'll scare them."
"Then slow down, and I'll jump out. They'll follow you."
"Hold on. These commandos. They're the same guys that are after me, too. Maybe I want you around to split their attention a bit?"
"I'll pay you another hundred dollars."
Spike took the Citroen screaming around a corner, and the side passenger door opened to let Giles tumble out onto the street. He rolled towards the sidewalk as the car continued and was on his feet and heading for the shadows by the time that the Humvees came tearing after Spike.
Giles smashed through the door of Ethan's room at the Sunnydale Motor Inn.
Ethan was busy packing his suitcase. He turned and was frightened by the sight of the pissed-off demon growling at him. Then recognition hit. "Giles?" He backed away at Giles' approach. "Now...it - it...calm down!" He got on the bed, trying to escape. "It's okay. Good Giles."
Giles reached for him, and Ethan dodged him, jumping off the bed. It seemed like he might make it past him when Giles grabbed him.
"No! No! Don't kill me!"
Practically a mindless Fyarl demon now, Giles got him by the throat and lifted him in the air.
"I can't undo you, if you kill me!" Ethan choked.
But Giles didn't care and flung him across the room, where he crashed head first into a night stand, shattering it to pieces. That's when Buffy and Riley rushed in and saw the situation.
Ethan looked at Buffy. "You've got to stop it! It killed Ripper, and now it's trying to get me!"
Buffy glared at Giles. "Don't let him go."
Giles took a step forward, and Buffy knocked him back against the wall with a spinning back kick.
Buffy was very pissed. "What did you do to him? What did you do?!"
Giles charged Buffy and shoved her against the wall. She retaliated with a hard right cross. Ethan, trying to escape, hit Riley with a right cross. Riley, showing considerable restraint, just grabbed him and threw him against the dresser, twisting his arm behind his back. Buffy executed a jumping front kick, knocking Giles back.
Ethan watched the fight. "You're only going to make him angry."
Giles just kept getting back up, no matter how many times that Buffy knocked him down. Ethan tried to escape again, elbowing Riley in the face, but Riley grabbed him again, slamming him into the wall before he could reach the door. Giles took a swing at Buffy, who ducked and slammed several punches to his face. When Ethan took another swing at him, Riley smashed an elbow into Ethan's face and punched him in the stomach. Buffy hit Giles in the face with a roundhouse kick, and Riley shoulder-flipped Ethan to the floor, getting him in an arm lock and pressing a knee against his face. Buffy picked up a foldable stand as Giles charged her with his large horns and trapped his head in the leather straps. Swinging him around, she threw him to the other side of the room. She tried to press her attack when Giles freed himself, lifting his head, smashing the curve of his horn into her face, and she fell to the floor. Giles growled at her. Buffy got Giles' legs in a scissor lock and took him down. Before he could get up, Buffy straddled his waist with the letter opener in her hand.
Buffy leaned down close to him. "This is for Giles!"
"For me?" Giles asked.
With both hands, Buffy raised the weapon high above her head and slammed it down into Giles' chest. Giles' eyes opened wide.
Buffy looked into his eyes, shocked. "Oh, God! Giles!" She pulled out the letter opener.
Giles tried to say something, but Buffy heard it in Fyarl.
"Oh, God! Giles! Giles! I'm so - I'm so sorry! Please don't die!" Buffy pleaded. "I can't go through this again! Not again!"
"Actually, I feel quite well. Except for the rage."
Buffy saw Giles didn't seem to be dying and was relieved. She still couldn't understand him, though. She looked at Riley. "I think he's okay. I-" She frowned at the letter opener. "Is this thing real silver?"
Later, Riley was guarding the door and speaking into his cell phone. Ethan was sitting cross-legged on the floor, remnants of a spell just completed in front of him. Buffy was standing behind him, holding him by the back of his collar. He looked glum as he rested his chin on his fist.
Ethan pouted. "I really got to learn to just do the damage and get out of town. It's the 'stay and gloat' that gets me every time."
Buffy nudged him with her knee and walked across the room as Riley finished his call. Giles, normal again, stood in front of the dresser mirror, looking at himself.
Buffy stood beside him. "You okay?"
"Oh, um, uh, embarrassed, mostly. Ethan's wardrobe's not helping any." Giles faced her. "Uh, how did you know it was me?"
"Your eyes."
Giles gave her a look.
"You're the only person in the world that can looked that annoyed with me."
Ethan got to his feet. "Is this gonna go on much longer? I'd rather like to be going."
Buffy crossed her arms. "And why would I let you go?"
"Well, maybe because you have no choice. I'm human; you can't kill me. What's a Slayer going to do to me?" Ethan asked pompously.
Riley stepped up behind him as a couple of tough-looking MPs entered the room. Ethan was handcuffed.
"By the authority of the U.S. military, you're being taken into custody pending a determination of your status." Riley turned to an MP. "Take it from here."
Ethan didn't look happy as they took him out of the room. Buffy and Giles exchanged a very happy look.
Riley looked at them. "They'll, uh, take Mr. Rayne to a secret detention facility in the Nevada desert. I'm sure he'll be rehabilitated in no time."
Giles grinned. "Uh, if you don't mind, I'm just gonna...go and watch them manhandle him into a vehicle." He stepped outside, leaving Buffy and Riley alone.
Buffy looked at Riley. "Thanks."
"I told you I'd help."
"You did. If I'd gotten here any later, and if Giles had killed Ethan, I...never would have gotten him back."
"You'd find some other way."
"Jesus, I almost killed him tonight." Buffy stared off past Riley, haunted.
"But you didn't."
That didn't make Buffy feel much better.
"You're really strong."
"Yeah."
"And you're in charge. You're like: make the plan, execute the plan. No one giving you orders."
Buffy paused for a moment. "I'm the Slayer."
Later, at Giles' apartment, Buffy was sitting on the sofa, legs curled, barefoot, with a throw pillow in her lap. She was desperately trying not to watch Jenny and Giles' happy reunion behind her. "Stop that right now! I can hear the smacking."
Jenny and Giles reluctantly parted.
Buffy looked at them. "Oh, Riley's gonna get on Walsh's ass about fast-tracking my Initiative clearance. I will tell you everything."
Giles walked towards the couch, removing his glasses. "Buffy, I don't want to ask you to betray any confidences, and I certainly don't want to interfere-"
"Uh-oh, you have 'but' face."
Giles narrowed his eyebrows at her.
"You look like you're gonna say 'but'."
Giles paused. "But...this, um, Initiative, I'm - I'm a little concerned. Ethan's not exactly a reliable source but, um...I'm not sure that he's wrong about them." He rounded the sofa to sit down next to her.
"Riley's a good guy."
"And I-I believe that. But he's part of something we - we don't really understand."
"You sure you're not just saying this, because you don't like Riley's boss?" Buffy asked knowingly.
"No! No. I'm not saying that at all." Giles considered. "Though I do...hate her quite a lot."
Buffy grinned and laughed.
"I realize you infiltrating the Initiative may be to our advantage, but...keep your eyes open. Make sure you know what you're getting into."
Buffy nodded.