Worst Nightmares

Disclaimer: I don't own Friends.

Watching this show as an adult with two adolescent daughters gives me a different perspective on Judy Geller than I had as a teenager when I watched the show during the first run. And whether we like it or not, we are far more like our parents than we wish to admit…

Mom inspected Erica and Jack's clothing for the third time as we prepared ourselves for our first day of seventh grade. A strand of her long, almost black hair blew in her face as she huffed. Erica could just hear Mom thinking; did they get any dirt on their clothes yet? Did either of them spill juice on their brand-new shirts? Are their shoes perfectly polished? "Mom, I promise you, our clothes are fine. Can we please go outside and wait for the bus?"

Especially as Mom would never let us hear the end of it if we missed it.

"Monica, you know that bus can zip around the corner faster than the roadrunner," Dad said, putting his hand on her shoulder. "Beep-beep." He comes up with the oddest jokes sometimes, but no one can calm Mom down faster than him.

Sighing, Mom handed us our backpacks and we headed outside. For a moment, Erica thought they might've escaped her insane criticism. But then, Mom followed us outside. "Do you both remember the combinations to your lockers?" At least Dad followed, too.

Erica wondered why she'd thought perhaps Mom would be less judgmental now that she and Jack were starting seventh grade instead of just beginning middle school this year. Didn't she know starting school was nerve-racking enough?

Jack recited the numbers obediently, while Erica searched her brain frantically for her numbers, before Mom yelled at her for being unprepared. "Five – thirteen – twenty…no twenty-two – and seven," Erica said, remembering the numbers just in time.

Mom stared at her for a moment, and Erica waited for Mom to almost invent a problem Erica had never thought of. But then she turned to Jack. "Now you remember you have band after school tomorrow. You better not forget your clarinet. And Erica, soccer practice."

"Yes, Mom," Erica thought, trying not to roll her eyes, unless she wished to be reprimanded for something else. She really did like playing soccer, but sometimes she wondered if it was worth it, as it gave Mom yet another thing to complain that Erica didn't do it perfectly.

"And above all, keep your lockers neat," Mom said, looking from Jack to Erica. "Those lockers are no good if you can't find anything, and I don't want to be the parent of the stinky locker kids." So, Erica not only had to remember the combination to her locker, but keep that space as neat as a pin?

"Let me guess," Dad said, wrapping his arm around her waist from behind. "Your locker was the cleanest in school." Erica and Jack shared a look. Despite how funny he could be, sometimes Erica found him as frustrating as Mom. He didn't criticize them the way Mom did, but nor did he stand up when she did too much.

"Of course," Mom said, smiling at Dad as the bus rounded the corner.

As Erica boarded the bus, she sighed. At least she always had her brother to support her.

OOOOOOOOOO

A week later Erica sighed again as Mom drove them home from soccer and band practice. "You need to run faster when you play soccer," Mom said, shaking her head from the driving seat. "If you did, you would be able to score more goals." Erica nodded, not willing to say anything else.

"And you should practice your clarinet more at home, Jack," Mom said. "Your melody isn't coming through as well as it should."

Jack folded his arms in the seat next to Erica. "Mom, I'm not playing any worse than the rest of the band." Erica nodded in silent agreement with her brother.

"But you need to be the best!" Mom said, as if it were obvious. No, Mom, Erica thought. You need him to be the best. Sometimes Erica wished if Mom were going to pick on her children, she would focus more of her attention on her instead of her brother. They may be twins, but Erica was protective of Jack.

Especially when he looked so miserable.

"I'm not going to try to run faster when I play soccer, Mom," Erica said, to get her attention off Jack.

"Erica, you should know better than to mouth off like that," Mom said, shouting much too loud for the inside of a car. "No television after dinner. Or youtube."

OOOOOOOOOOO

After dinner, there wasn't much for Erica to do considering she couldn't watch television. Or youtube. So, she laid on her bed, the Hello Kitty comforter staring back at her. She couldn't believe how unreasonable Mom was. Meanwhile, Jack's clarinet hummed from the next room.

"You sound really good," Erica said, coming into his room when the music stopped. "Don't let Mom bother you."

Jack sighed, putting his music stand and clarinet away. "Do you ever think of running away from Mom, so she won't bother us anymore?"

Overwhelmed, Erica flopped herself on her brother's bed. The pictures of wild birds stared at her. Jack had an obsessive interest in birds. Uncle Ross swore that meant he would be a scientist someday. But that didn't matter right now. What Jack had said about running away mattered.

"Are you serious?" Erica said.

Jack shrugged. "I've been thinking about it more and more lately. "We could go see Uncle Joey. Imagine how much fun it would be to live in L. A. with him." Briefly, Erica did. Hanging out with movie stars and having their own swimming pool sounded like fun. "Or we could find our birth mother and live with her."

Erica stared at her brother, even more shocked by that statement than the possibility of running away. They both knew they were adopted, and in fact their birth mother sent them a card every year on their birthday. But with all their problems, the mother they had now was their Mom. They'd always loved her and Dad.

A queasy feeling developed in Erica's stomach at the thought of leaving them. "I don't know, Jack."

Her brother nodded, sitting next to her on the bed. "I know. It's hard to think about. But if we did, we could live with someone who loved us just for being her children, rather for being the perfect version of children Mom wants us to be."

That did sound tempting. But still. Jack, do we even know where our birth mother lives?"

Jack sighed. "Mom says she's in Ohio somewhere. And I know her address would be on the envelope of her last birthday card…" He looked at her pointedly, knowing Erica kept all their birthday cards filed away in her room.

But she shook her head. "Jack, I save the cards not the envelopes. Besides, if we went to Ohio, or even L. A., we would also be leaving Dad, Uncle Ross and Aunt Rachel, Pop – Pop and Nana, and all our friends." Despite Mom's constant criticisms of her soccer skills, Erica considered several of the girls on the team her friends.

Not to mention that boy who sat at one table away from Erica at lunch and had the dreamiest smile and adorable blue eyes. She'd hoped at some point during this year she might get up enough nerve to talk to him. Did he come to the soccer games?

"I suppose it's more complicated than I thought it would be," Jack said finally. He flopped his head on his bed. "But in many ways, I'd still like to try." Erica scowled at that. Not only did Jack have no idea where he was going, he would leave her alone to deal with Mom. And to think, earlier today, she'd wished Mom would focus all her criticisms on just Erica…

Be careful what you wish for, indeed.

But before Erica could grow too irritated with her brother, he sat back up and looked at her directly in the eyes. "I won't go without you, though."

"Thank you, Jack," she said, hugging her brother.

OOOOOOOOOOO

But Mom kept criticizing both Erica and her brother for the next week. Jack's teeth weren't brushed perfectly one day. Erica had a smudge on her new shoes another. Jack should practice his clarinet fifteen minutes longer than he already did, and Erica should do a run around their house to increase her speed.

Would Mom ever stop?

That Friday evening, Erica found a postcard that had clearly fallen from her collection of cards and letters. A postcard from her birth mother, from about three years ago. On the left corner was her birth mother's address.

Erica stared at the address, wondering what to do. Was she meant to find this and go stay with her birth mother? Should Erica tell Jack they now knew where she lived? It was clear that Mom was never going to stop criticizing them, after all. And as Jack had said before, wouldn't it be better to be with someone who loved them for being her children than the perfect version that their current mother wanted them to be?

But then Erica thought of leaving Dad, and her stomach tightened. And Nana and Pop – Pop had promised to come to her first soccer game. Speaking of soccer, what would Erica do without Jessica, Mandy, and Crystal giggling with her in the locker room? Then there was Aunt Rachel who had promised to take Erica shopping before her first dance. And as for the dance, how could Erica leave without knowing what might happen between her and the dreamy boy from the lunchroom?

The other day he'd even said hello to her, and the memory still made Erica's heart race.

She put the postcard away, without saying anything to Jack.

OOOOOOOOOOO

A week later, Erica had almost forgotten about the tempting postcard and her and Jack's discussion about running away. Coach Patterson had just told her she was the best dribbler on the soccer team! Dad had given her a hug when he'd picked her up and she'd told him, but it was Mom's reaction Erica desperately needed to see.

"Mom, guess what?" she said, running into the living room where Mom was, looking through one of her cooking magazines.

But Mom didn't catch Erica's enthusiasm. In fact, the look on her face was deadly. "Erica, how could you come into this living room without taking off your shoes? Especially after your soccer practice?"

Looking down at her feet, Erica realized that the bottom of her shoes was indeed covered with mud. And she'd gotten mud on Mom's blue living room carpet. "I'm sorry," Erica said. "I was just so excited about what happened in soccer practice – "

"I don't want to hear your excuses," Mom said, her voice lower and deadlier than Erica had ever heard. "You know not to get mud on this carpet under any circumstances. The first thing you should do when you arrive home no matter what, is to take your shoes off. You've known it since you've started kindergarten. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to get that kind of mud out of the carpet?"

Was Mom expecting an answer to that? What about Coach Patterson's praise? Could Erica even try to explain…" But Coach Patterson told me – "

"Well, you're going to find out how difficult it is," Mom said, interrupting Erica again. "Tomorrow morning, you and I are going to scrub this carpet until no one could ever say there was a speck of dirt on it. Understand?"

This was Erica's worst nightmare. She'd been so excited about Coach Patterson's praise, and instead she'd made Mom angrier than ever. Scowling, she walked away.

OOOOOOOOOO

After dinner, Erica still scowled. Mom would never praise her or Jack nor care about praise they received. Picking up the postcard from their birth mother, Erica nodded firmly. This was it.

She ran into Jack's room, holding the postcard. "I found our birth mother's address. And I've had it with Mom. I can't live here anymore. Let's leave tomorrow morning, early. There's a bus station near the Wall-Mart."

Jack picked up the postcard and examined it for several moments. But then he stared at one of his bird posters. "I don't know anymore, Erica. Uncle Ross said he'd take me to one of the state parks in a couple of weeks to see the birds in their natural habitat."

So, Jack's birds were more important than she was?

Erica wanted to say she didn't care. That she could pack her things and go to their birth mom or even Uncle Joey's house on her own. But the reality was that traveling across the country alone was scarier than she'd thought it would be. At the same time, she couldn't live with Mom any longer, either.

Then Jack grinned at her. "All right. I'll travel with you, if I can get back two weeks."

Erica hugged her brother and went to pack.

OOOOOOOOOOO

The sun was barely rising when Erica came downstairs with her brother the next day. After all, they had to get up before Mom came downstairs to make her Saturday morning breakfast. Nevertheless, Erica didn't feel tired at all. On the contrary, she couldn't wait to start her new life.

All she had to do was take Mom's credit card from her purse and then she and Jack could walk to the bus station. But before she or Jack could even step a foot into the living room, they found Dad setting up Mom's rug cleaning supplies next to the couch.

Both she and Jack's eyes met, horrified. Could they really make it across the living room floor without Dad noticing? But how could they abandon their plans now? Slowly, they began to creep across the room. Past the wooden rocking chair and the end table. It was lucky that the large carpet made less noise than the hardwood.

"Erica, Jack, do you have a surprise for you mother, too?" Dad said as their tip-toed past the fireplace.

Erica's heart jumped. "How did you know?" His back was turned. He wasn't' supposed to know. She didn't want to say goodbye to Dad. She may be a little annoyed with Dad's inability to stand up to Mom, but Erica wasn't angry at him. She'd really miss him.

Dad chuckled. "I know quite a bit about sneaking around, if I do say so myself. And the exact sound of someone walking on a carpet early in the morning is something I'll never forget." Another chuckle. Erica glanced at Jack but he looked just as confused about what was so funny. That had to be one of Dad's weird jokes that only made sense to him.

Then Dad turned around and saw them with their backpacks. "I hate to break it to you, but the school bus doesn't come on Saturdays." At least that joke made sense, but it was still dumb.

"The school bus doesn't come on Saturdays, but the bus that stops in front of Wall – Mart does," Erica said after a moment. "From there, I figure we could catch the next bus to Albany."

"So, you two are running away," Dad said with a nod. "Did you think how you would pay for your ticket? Or where your destination would be?"

Erica huffed. She hated it when adults assumed she couldn't think things through. "Actually, did. We were going to use Mom's credit card, and I have a post card that has our birth mom's address." She held her head up high, proud of herself.

"And if that didn't work, we thought about going to Uncle Joey's," Jack said, and Erica loved her brother for supporting her. Especially as his final plan had only been only planning on traveling to get her there.

Dad shook his head rapidly. "Even if you could ever get as far as L. A., you'd never be able to stay there. Joey would have called me to come get you as soon as you arrived. As for your mother's credit card, sooner or later she'd notice it was missing and cancel it. My guess would be sooner, because Monica notices details like that sooner than most do. Furthermore, a lot of bus stations wouldn't sell tickets to kids without an adult present, as they are always told to lookout for runaways. And you'd better believe your mother and I would have the police and a private investigator looking for you as soon as you boarded that bus. Not to mention all the shady people that could take advantage of two, innocent kids traveling by themselves if the police didn't catch you." Dad's voice was higher, as it always was when he got angry. "Finally, let me see that postcard."

Erica handed him the card, wondering why Dad had to be up this early on today of all days. Dad shook his head again. "This postcard is three years old. Are you certain she still lives at this address today? She could have left Cincinnati. Maybe she's not even in Ohio."

Erica opened her mouth to say she knew, but then closed it. She wasn't certain. But that wasn't the point. "Dad, I can't live with Mom's constant criticisms anymore. I want someone who loves me for me."

"Don't you dare say that. No one loves you more than your mother. She makes you homemade cakes for your every one of your birthdays, and a home-cooked meal every night. Even when she's working late at the restaurant, she prepares dinner for all of us in advance. And you know she's going to make us a big breakfast this morning, just like she does every Saturday. She's also taken you trick-or-treating every year since you could walk, and not only that, but she allows you to pick any costume you wish to wear. When you wanted your room decorated in Hello Kitty four years ago, she was more than happy to indulge you. With her credit card, I might add. And Jack, when you decided on birds, your mother did the same thing. She also makes chicken noodle soup from scratch when you're sick." Not only was Dad's voice even higher than before, but he stood next to Erica and Jack, towering over them.

"You know, when I was a kid, my mother bought me a cake for my birthday. After the divorce, sometimes she didn't even remember to do that. And she'd never make a big breakfast for her family, Saturday or no Saturday. When I was sick, the nanny would give me cough syrup. Sometimes the nanny took me trick-or-treating, but I certainly never got the attention and nurturing your mother gives you. You have no idea how lucky you both are."

Erica shook her head and Jack did as well. Lucky was not the word either of them would use to describe the kind of mother they had. But as usual, Dad was too busy supporting Mom to try to understand his children.

"Not only that, but your mother goes out of her way to treat you both equally. She'd never favor one of you over the other."

Erica had no idea what he was talking about there, but she didn't care. "But she won't stop criticizing us, Dad. I mean yesterday is a perfect example. You know I was all excited about Coach Patterson's praise, and she didn't want to hear it at all."

Dad sighed. "Well, your mother is a perfectionist, honey. And you should know that getting mud on the living room carpet would make her livid."

He still wasn't getting the point. "You win. We'll stay here."

Jack nodded. "We'll stay here."

The next chapter will be from Monica's POV.