September 2013

Emma saw movement and immediately reached for a pad of paper. "Welcome to Rikki's Cafe, what may I get for-"

"Hey." Lewis said awkwardly, holding a toddler.

Emma quickly composed herself. "What may I get for you two?"

"Er-a small orange mango and I'll take a coffee."

"How would you like your coffee?"

"Plain."

Emma nodded, though she felt confused. This was not Lewis's preferred coffee order. She went to make the smoothie, unsure of whether to make what he liked. She took mental note of her friends' usual orders, able to make what they needed without them even having to ask. She'd color coded them to be able to remember them. She still had everything Lewis liked documented somewhere. So here was the conundrum: follow the rules and give the customer what he ordered or follow her old routine of knowing what they liked and serving that. And of course, she never did things halfway so it was all or plain. She poured the smoothie out into a kids sized cup, She'd save the rest for Elliot later. She brought them the smoothie.

"Tanks!" The girl said, her blonde hair swishing around her shoulders.

"You're very welcome. Coffee's just about ready."

"Is it too late to change?"

"I don't-oh, er-sure. You still want coffee?"

"Yeah, but I'll take the usual."

Emma was immensely relieved. "I'll be right back. Cute kid."

"Thanks."

Emma started on the coffee order, wondering if she was overthinking the question. Lewis did know her, so would he have said that with the tone Emma thought was in there, thinking she'd answer that question? Did Emma answer the way he wanted and if so, should she have? She pretended not to catch the undertone-if there was one-but he was smart enough to know she wouldn't not interpret it that way. She saw Rikki grab a plastic cup and fill it with water water and looked at her curiously. Rikki grinned and Emma groaned internally. Rikki approached the table with the water cup.

"Lewis, is that you?" Rikki asked.

"Hi Rikki." Lewis said tentatively.

"Oh, don't be that way." She set the cup down near the edge of the table and hugged him. "I haven't seen you in what-three years? Nearly four now?"

"Just over four. This is Grace, she's three."

"Aren't you precious?" Rikki said, patting the girl's head. The toddler pouted. "I'm terribly sorry, I should've asked-oops!" Rikki had knocked the water onto her legs.

Lewis gasped and got up. "Rikki, you have to hurry-"

"What's wrong, Lewis?"

"You have-" Lewis took in the fact that Rikki hadn't run away in panic. He was confused when the ten seconds passed and she didn't transform. "Excuse me, what?"

"No idea what's up, but I guess I should be more careful, thanks Em."

Emma had brought a rag along with Lewis's coffee order and Rikki started cleaning the mess. She dropped the wet towel in Emma's hands before going to help other customers. Lewis was confused. Neither girl was transforming. Then he saw Will and Bella enter, Bella's hair was wet. Lewis was bewildered and Rikki was loving every minute of it.

"Oh, hi Lewis." Bella said. She'd noticed Rikki's mischievous grin and the wet spot at the hem of her shorts and decided to play along. Lewis kept looking at them in confusion. Then once Grace was done with her drink, he approached the counter where Emma was writing something.

"There's changing tables in the restroom." Emma said absentmindedly.

"She's toilet trained. I just-are you guys…er-back?" Lewis asked.

"Funny, I was just about to ask you the same thing." Rikki said. "I've texted Cleo, she won't be coming. I hope that's not your reason for being here."

"I am back. I'm living with Lenny for now and no, I-I don't believe I have the right to even ask about her. So-what's going on, you just-you're…you can touch water now."

"Mhm." Rikki said.

"Exactly how?"

"What an odd question, Lewis."

"You're messing with me somehow. But…you actually got wet."

"It's just seawater now." Emma said.

"Aw, Emma, you spoiled the fun." Rikki pouted.

"I'm bringing Grace back to Lenny's for a nap. Emma, could we meet at your place later?" Lewis asked.

"I guess." Emma said. "There's a lot you've missed, so I'll text the time."

Lewis met Emma, Rikki, Bella, and Will at the Gilbert house. They explained everything that happened over the last few years starting with Maddie. Lewis was pleasantly surprised, but happy that the families were very accepting of the girls. More surprised at Kim's reaction, though that wouldn't have been possible if not for Elliot and some brave friends of Kim's who still wanted her to be a friend. Emma had asked Cleo if they should tell him the full story and she said yes. That even though she lost trust in him as a boyfriend and her personal best friend, he was still an ally to the merfolk and he should be in the know about these things. She told them that she'd avoid him as much as possible and didn't want the others to treat Lewis differently based on the breakup. Everyone except Rikki stayed out of it. Rikki wasn't going to meddle in the romantic part, but she was still pissed that Lewis even hooked up with Charlotte in the first place.

Lewis admitted that he and Charlotte attempted to rekindle their lost love to see if they would make a good couple. They couldn't, so they just coparented while living with Annette. Charlotte then wanted to go back to school and Lewis missed his family, so they agreed on Lewis moving back to the Gold Coast with full custody of Grace and Charlotte having visitation. Lewis did want to meet the pod. The way he started going on about magic and things that would make sense if he spoke to them were reminiscent of the old days. Emma and Rikki exchanged knowing glances, they were glad Cleo wasn't there. She'd be drawn in by nostalgia while her heartbreak would bring out bitterness. And that's not what anyone wanted or needed, especially the children. There was no ill will held towards Grace Dakota McCartney. But Lewis wasn't going to get off the hook anytime soon if Rikki could help it.

The pod didn't meddle in romantic affairs of land people, including the girls, so they were indifferent to anything between Lewis and Cleo. They were impressed by the amount of research Lewis had done and how much he tried to help the girls. Whenever the girls had talked about him, they would with a slight awkward edge. The unknown sea creature was brought up, but nothing Lewis looked up came close to resembling what it was. It really did seem like it had absorbed the old Bluebottle. He wondered why it had been enraged, did Jonathan Gilbert do something or was it the battle and he got caught in the crossfire trying to look for a mermaid that had become sea foam? He officially met of Maddie after happening to meet the pod at the same time Cleo brought her for lessons. Having seen something like this coming, the other three mermaids were there too. Lewis said hi to the toddler and took a few notes when Cleo asked him to meet her on the island.

"Let's walk." Cleo said shortly, Rikki following behind almost completely out of earshot. Lewis walked beside her, waiting for her to speak first. "When you came back after graduation, you told me you loved me. And yes, I know you weren't lying about that. I can't help but think now that you were reassuring yourself that you hadn't done anything wrong. That you were trying to convince yourself that I didn't need to know. If there had been no baby, would you have told me? Would you have let us work through it?"

"I-I-that didn't happen, so I don't…I couldn't say for sure-"

"Which is how you felt when you left. Letting my family in on the mermaid secret, fixing the relationship with my sister and having a baby didn't stop my turbulent emotions. You know what the worst thing about all these revelations and such over the past four years was?"

"Me."

"Yeah. The first person I trusted with the secret. The boy I only had the slightest amount of doubt that you would run away and leave me to be exposed. Our lifetime of friendship in that moment convinced me that you would at least be our closest confidant. Just before the pool party, Emma and Rikki were on my case about even asking you if you knew anything about mermaids, but back then…my gut told me you were trustworthy. And up until the point of no return, you proved me correct. Even when I worried that you were gullible when it came to a pretty face, you didn't tell Denman."

"She still tricked me."

"Even so, you were there for me. For us."

"I thought of you-"

"Don't. Just don't. Just trying to have this conversation with you…is extremely difficult. So don't. I couldn't get you out of my mind completely because you were and are an important part of this whole mermaid thing. So I couldn't have a moment's rest. Not really. Seeing you just be the scientist again. Being the ally, wanting to know more…brings it all back. Then I'm reminded how it ended. With you not even trusting me to know something you did when you knew everything about me. When the oyster breaks and leaves you with nothing but tears, what becomes of the pearl?" She sniffled. "I may wear my heart more on my sleeve than others, but…it's still my heart."

"For what it's worth, I'm am truly sorry for lying to you."

"We've both changed. Emma caught the undertones and while I think it's not too late for any of us to change…it's far too late for those apologies to be worth anything. I've had the time to think about what I might've said if we had it all out on the table from the very beginning. The apologies would've been worth it had you been upfront with me from the start. How our relationship would've gone through Charlotte's reveal, I have no idea, but I would've still been your friend even if our romance couldn't work it through. It's just the kind of person I am."

"I know. I-I know I had the most perfect, nicest girl in the world. No one I met or knew compared to you and I overlooked consequences from that night. It might be a bit of a reach, but…could we be friends again?"

"No."

Lewis stopped in his tracks, Cleo walked forward a bit. Rikki waited next to Lewis silently, then Cleo ran into the ocean and dove. Lewis sniffled. Rikki turned to him.

"Please don't even if I deserve it." Lewis said meekly.

"You ever try not to love someone?"

"No? I didn't love Charlotte when-"

"Did you? Was there a small part of you that wondered 'what if'? I may not remember the kiss with Zane under the full moon's spell but after…I actively tried not to fall in love with him."

"It was drunk nostalgia and both of us regretted it immediately. I mean, I love my daughter-"

"You don't have to try to justify it, you'll start floundering and sound worse. My point is-and I don't want to get your hopes up-she's still in love with you and has been trying her hardest not to be. Promise you won't act on it, it's just my personal theory based on the last few years."

"I wouldn't have the right." Lewis said softly. Rikki nodded. She didn't have anything to add to that, so she left him with his thoughts.

…

Grace ran up to him when he got home, squealing 'Daddy!' He smiled and lifted her up. He realized that Rikki was right, the more he tried to say he regretted it, the worse he would've felt because he would essentially be saying he was okay erasing his daughter and he wasn't. If he kept wishing he never hurt Cleo, he would be pushing Grace away harshly, dismissing her as an unwanted child. Charlotte did want her and it did take Lewis a few months to feel like Grace was his daughter instead of 'I am obligated to care for this child I brought into the world'. He knew Cleo was keenly aware of this too, which was probably a reason she said his apologies weren't worth anything.

Lenny was aware of the situation minus the mermaid part. He was just told that there was a fight over Lewis between Charlotte and Cleo and teenage drama ensued. Not wanting the detail of whatever catfight he thought might've happened, Lenny simply told him that there were plenty of fish in the sea. This just poured more salt in the would, though he couldn't tell his brother that. The only fish he wanted was the one that got away…that he pushed away. His extraordinary shining pearl who waited for him. He knew Cleo didn't mean that her world revolved around Lewis, but that he'd been one of the biggest parts of hers since they were five.

He sighed and continued preschool enrollment papers. Grace will be four in February, but she'd been very social and a bit precocious. She started babbling a little early and since then, all she seemed to want to do was talk. She had a lot to say and not much of a way to say it, plus her desire to want to know everything inspired Lewis to enter her in a preschool program after he spoke with Charlotte. A promise I kept…to be a good co-parent.

"There's no real answer for it. You and I have so much shared history that we don't want it to be goodbye. The space and time will do us both some good, whatever that means."

"Suppose I'll just have to accept that."

It wasn't goodbye, but it wasn't exactly a pleasant reunion. Not even on Mako was it goodbye, it was a young woman's struggle with feelings that she would ordinarily have come to him for. He'd been there though everything, he made all her birthday parties positive, even when she started disliking them. He was the through the mermaid stuff and through her parents' divorce and even Sam. I love you Cleo Sertori and I will never forgive myself for hurting you.

…

"Did you mean it?" Emma had asked.

"I wanted to." Cleo had answered.

Cleo was grateful that Maddie wanted to have a sleepover with Aunt Kim, which just meant going into the next room. She needed to be able to cry without interruption. She didn't know what she meant, she wanted to lash out and punish Lewis and Rikki would've let her. Unleash hell and make him feel her pain as much as she wanted her own to stop.

"Forgiving is up to you. Life is full of complexities and what you're feeling is real and valid. Only you can say how your heart feels now." Sam had told her.

She'd told Lewis the first word that came to her mind, but did she really mean it? Could they never be friends again?

Cleo: The most painful thing is that I still love you

She deleted the text.