Keiichi leaned against his bedroom door after shutting it, his thumb linked around the edge of his pant pocket. He could feel the sleeve of the card deck rest against the nail, and he wondered when the time would be right. He had just returned from having dinner with his parents, feeling guilty that Satoshi was still trapped in his room while he gorged himself. Satoshi's dinner would have to come later after the leftovers were put away. He had managed to bring the boy a snack, hoping it would be enough to hold him over. Now, the boy was seated in the middle of his room, peacefully thumbing through one of Keiichi's books. He looked much more at ease compared to the state Keiichi had found him in earlier. He stepped away from the door to kneel across from the other.
"Hey Satoshi," he spoke, successfully garnering the other's attention. "Wanna hang out? Play a game with me?"
Satoshi looked from his book and tilted his head to the side, confused. The act reminded Keiichi of a cute puppy.
"A game?" The boy responded, setting the book aside with his finger still tucked inside to keep his place. "What do you mean?" He struggled to conjure up an image of what a "game" was. He couldn't recall ever playing one before. Keiichi grinned.
"I'll show you!" He grabbed the deck of cards from his pocket, flipped the box over, and deposited the cards into his hand. Once emptied, he turned the deck box over and moved it aside. He felt it was too early to show Satoshi what was written on it.
Keiichi silently shuffled the cards in his hands. He pretended not to notice the mesmerized look Satoshi was giving him as he split the deck and continued to shuffle. Feeling accomplished, he swiped the deck into his hands and dispersed the cards face down.
"This game is called Concentration. It's pretty easy to learn if you haven't played it before." Keiichi explained, gesturing to the board. Satoshi was still watching in awe as if this was all completely new to him. Keiichi felt the familiar pangs of guilt hit him, knowing Satoshi should be more than familiar with the game.
"What do I do?" Satoshi finally asked, looking up at the other. He managed to shake off the negative feelings as their eyes met, and Keiichi smiled.
"The cards are all hidden face down, right?" Keiichi picked a card up as an example. "See, if I flip it around, it shows a value." He drew the card in front of Satoshi. It was a 9 of hearts. "Now, I'll pick a second card." He drew another: an Ace of Hearts.
"See, the values don't match, even though the color does." Keiichi set the cards back in their respective spots face down. "If they matched, I would have gained a pair!" He pointed at Satoshi. "Now, it's your turn to pick a card!"
He watched the boy gaze out at the board with a nervous look etched into his face, seemingly overwhelmed by the choices. The irony of making a boy suffering from memory loss play a card game about memorization was not lost on Keiichi, and he began to wonder if he should have picked Old Bachelor instead. Sensing the boy's nerves, he gently extended his hand forward, cupping Satoshi's in his own.
"I'll help you this first round." He spoke softly, guiding the boy's hand to a row of cards near him. "There aren't any wrong choices right now, you're okay."
Satoshi tensed at the physical contact, his heart immediately racing. Keiichi's hand felt warm on his own. Keiichi gently released his hand once it was hovering over a card.
"How about this one?" He smiled at the other, and Satoshi swore his heart would burst out of his chest. Feeling embarrassed, he looked away as he picked the card up: a 2 of spades. He selected a second card a few rows from his original choice: 9 of hearts.
"Oh, interesting. Looks like I can make a match next turn!" Keiichi grinned, and Satoshi finally felt like he understood the point of the game. He set the cards back in their place and watched as Keiichi swiped up the match on his turn. He set the cards next to him, indicating his point. He fails his next match-up, effectively ending his turn.
"Now that we're playing, there's one more rule I forgot to mention." Keiichi made eye contact with Satoshi, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. "Whoever wins gets to make the loser participate in a punishment."
At his words, Satoshi noticeably gulped. Keiichi kept an eye on the other, searching his face for any signs of remembrance. Of their club, of games, of his friends. Nothing of the sort seemed to reveal itself. With a sigh, Keiichi gestured for Satoshi to take his turn. The game must go on.
Time passed as they completed a best two out of three match-up of Concentration. Keiichi hung his head in defeat as he revealed a card Satoshi could make a match with his next turn. He was impressed at how dedicated Satoshi was to the game… and to winning. The boy had a playful competitiveness streak that Keiichi hadn't anticipated. Watching Satoshi rule over the board, Keiichi felt it was the most alive-looking he had seen the other. The boy's next turn was impressive, as he swiped up the match Keiichi had showcased for him, and continued to get the final three matches off the board. Keiichi was floored, realizing Satoshi had wiped the floor with him.
"Did I win?" Satoshi asked him excitedly, unable to contain himself. Keiichi's disappointment in his own loss melted away at the sight of Satoshi reveling. He leaned over and lightly ruffled Satoshi's hair.
"Congratulations, Satoshi. You beat me."
Keiichi noticed a tinge of pink dust across Satoshi's cheeks at the compliment. His hand wandered from the top of Satoshi's hair down the frame of his face, cupping his cheek while his thumb brushed the heated area.
"I haven't made you sick, have I?" He asked quietly. Satoshi's cheeks did feel quite hot. The boy's blush deepened and he rapidly shook his head no, causing Keiichi to retract his hand. Satoshi kept his eyes averted, attempting to fight off the blush.
"Why did I touch him like that?" Keiichi asked himself, acutely aware of his actions just now. The steady thrum of his heart increased, thinking back on the interaction. He wanted to shake himself free of his overbearing thoughts. Clearing his throat, he spoke once more.
"Well, anyway, you won. That means you get to decide my punishment."
Satoshi shifted uncomfortably in his seated position, still averting his eye contact. Keiichi watched him, a bit confused by his sudden behavior. He crawled over the pile of cards to sit next to Satoshi.
"Are you having trouble thinking of something?" Keiichi prompted, moving his face toward the other to look at his eyes. Satoshi turned away, ever so slightly. Finally, he mumbled out:
"I don't want to punish you…" he spoke in barely a whisper. "I care about you, I don't want to hurt you…"
Keiichi resisted the urge to facepalm at his own stupidity. He was naive enough to hope that a punishment game would remind Satoshi of his club days, but he failed to connect that the boy in front of him had escaped from somewhere and that he had been through events traumatic enough to repress his own memory. Asking him to think up a "punishment" was not as lighthearted as Keiichi intended. He couldn't hold in his grimace, wishing the other would punish him for his stupidity. Pulling out of his thoughts, he placed a comforting hand on Satoshi's back.
"Sorry, I wasn't very clear. You get to choose the punishment, but it's all meant to be fun! You don't have to choose something that isn't fun." He rubbed the boy's back, trying to comfort him. "It could be something like 'Keiichi, I want you to do one hundred push-ups' or 'Keiichi, you have to do all the cleaning for the next week'. Something like that!"
"Keiichi, you already do all of the cleaning." Satoshi shirked the other's touch, still not making eye contact. Keiichi couldn't help but let out a laugh.
"You're taking this too seriously. Just, tell me something you want from me. Or want me to do."
Keiichi watched as the boy hid his face in his hands at his words. He was worried he had misspoken when finally, Satoshi looked up at him. His face was much more red compared to earlier.
"I…" He hesitated, struggling to steel himself in front of Keiichi. Keiichi gave him another smile, trying his best to be reassuring. After a breath, Satoshi spoke his truth. "Your punishment…is to hug me."
Keiichi blinked. Of all the maid costumes and cleaning duties he had endured, a request like this felt oddly innocent. Satoshi looked like a ball of nerves in front of him, barely able to maintain eye contact with him. Worried the boy in front of him might crumple, Keiichi held in his laugh at the request. Instead, he moved closer to the other boy and cupped his arms underneath Satoshi's. He pulled the boy over to him, giving him the best hug he could muster. Satoshi's breath hitched as he was pulled forward, nearly onto Keiichi's lap. It was a one-sided embrace until Keiichi finally felt Satoshi's arms tentatively wrap around him, returning the contact. They stayed like that, and Keiichi noticed Satoshi's breathing steadied over time. He let his chin rest in the other's hair, and he was surprised by how happy he felt in this moment. He was disappointed that their game hadn't struck Satoshi with any memories, but seeing the other happy brought him a joy that was entirely new to him. He waited patiently for the other to break off contact first, as Keiichi was the one being punished. He noted the smell of Satoshi's hair mimicked that of his own from them using the same products, but remarked that there was still something different about it. Keiichi closed his eyes, drinking in the scent. He found it calmed him.
Satoshi pulled away after a few moments. Keiichi released him, immediately noticing how red Satoshi's face was. Satoshi averted his eyes once more, and Keiichi found himself mesmerized by the shy look the other was giving him. He felt an unfamiliar pang in his chest, and suddenly the room began feeling hot.
"I hope my damn fever isn't coming back."
Keiichi cleared his throat again, like he was trying to clear the air.
"Did you have fun? With the game, I mean." He corrected himself. Finally, Satoshi looked in the eyes with a huge smile. He nodded.
"I did, a lot of fun. Thank you for teaching me."
Keiichi reached around to the deck box. As he began to pick the cards up, the writing on the box caught his eye. Reluctantly, he flipped the box over in his palm to hide it; it was too soon.
As he stood, he pocketed the deck of cards. Satoshi had already moved to resume his book, the pleased air of a victor surrounding him.
"You hungry? I should be able to get your dinner now. Sorry it took so long," Keiichi spoke sheepishly and scratched at the back of his neck, a nervous tick he couldn't seem to shake. Satoshi nodded at him in earnest.
Keiichi stepped quietly down the stairs to the kitchen. He was surprised to see his father still seated at the table. He was reading a paper with a late-night cup of coffee by his side.
"Hungry again?" His dad asked as Keiichi moved toward the fridge, trying to remain as casual as possible. "You've picked up quite the appetite recently, did you join another sport without telling us?"
Keiichi laughed as he uncovered their earlier dinner. "No dad, I'm not sure. Maybe it's this country air making me hungry."
His father put the newspaper down and took a single sip from his mug. Keiichi knew this meant his father was working on some new project that had him staving off sleep. His father was tapping his finger on the table pensively as if debating something. Keiichi pretended to not notice, choosing to focus on the hum of the microwave in front of him. He heard his father sigh, prompting him to look over his shoulder.
"Listen, your mother didn't want me to say anything. Said it might scare you. But you're a young man now, Keiichi. I think you should know." His father looked over his laced fingers at Keiichi. Keiichi could feel his breath hitch in his throat, and he willed his pulse to steady. His father let out another sigh.
"Sometime after dinner while you were in your room, an officer stopped by. Said his name was Ocha, or something like that." Despite the dire circumstances, Keiichi held in a laugh; his father had never been good with names. "He's investigating some missing persons case. Said the person is dangerous."
His father's eyes narrowed as he spoke. "He did his best to reassure us we were safe, but…"
Keiichi waited expectantly. He wasn't surprised to hear Ooishi had been back, but it bothered him that the old man wouldn't leave them alone. Keiichi felt disappointed in himself; he hadn't been convincing enough. The next words out of his father's mouth broke him free of his thoughts.
"They say this wanted person is wanted for murder."
Keiichi couldn't contain his expression, his eyes widening. At that moment, the microwave screeched incessantly, nearly driving him out of his own skin. He slammed the button to open the door, feeling sick. That couldn't be true, could it?
"Sorry, I don't mean to scare you." Noticing his restlessness, his father continued to speak. "He mentioned he spoke to you already, but he left the nature of the case a secret. I felt like you should know the truth of what's out there."
Keiichi's heart thrummed. Satoshi was wanted for something that heinous? His brain flickered between thoughts of the boy's soft smile coupled with the fits of terror he'd experienced in the little time he'd been here. Willing himself to move, he removed the leftovers from the microwave and continued to plate them.
"Just…be careful. Take care of your friends, and if you see anything alarming, please let us know." With that, his father stood, tucking the newspaper under his arm. He grabbed his coffee with his free hand, taking leave of the kitchen. Keiichi stared at the steam rolling off the food in front of him. He stayed like that, trying to reel in his racing thoughts. The distant ticking of their living room clock was the only indicator that time was truly passing; he felt stuck in place.
"What the fuck do I do…" He grimaced. Satoshi was never a topic of conversation at their club meetings, but he found it hard to believe that something as heinous as this had never come up. Were his friends aware? He ran his hand through his hair. "Is this documented anywhere? Does Satoshi even remember this?" His stomach turned as the thoughts kept flooding in. "What if he never forgot? What if he…" He turned to glance at the stairway; a path leading to a suspected murderer. Keiichi swallowed, fighting the lump in his throat that continued to build. "I've been sharing a bed with that guy… I've spent so much time with him… I've…" He was reminded of twenty minutes prior when they had embraced. With a deep breath, he grabbed the plate and turned to face his room. The sting of the hot plate singed his fingers, but he was too preoccupied to care. He took the first step, mind still racing, about what to do next.
