Chapter 19: M.I.A. July 11, 2183 CE Mia Shepard LZ, Virmire 1430 hours

Mia watched the Normandy's cargo doors close before turning to face Saren. After weeks of chasing this asshole across the galaxy, she wasn't missing an opportunity to take him down on this stupid planet. She watched as he zoomed toward her, the platform stopping in mid air but he continued his momentum, hopping down and striding purposefully towards Mia.

"I have to say, Shepard, I am impressed. Sovereign told me about you. About your threats and false promises. Your disillusion that you can stop a force like the Reapers. It's impressive you've gotten as far as you have while flying under my radar. Of course, it was all for nothing. I can't let you interrupt what I have accomplished here. You can't even comprehend-"

"I'm going to stop you right there," Mia said, holding up a hand. "I'm so sick of other people telling me what I should or should not understand. So we're just going to take this back a few steps, and you're going to tell me why you thought it was a good idea to betray the Council for a machine with a god complex."

"Betray the Council? I'm doing the Council a favor. Humanity is a scourge on the galaxy. If the Reapers take just the humans, if I convince them the rest of us can be useful… Well, it's a win-win, really." Saren explained darkly.

"You can't honestly look at the research you've done here and tell me that you think you'd end up as anything more than a mindless slave? You'd rather cower taking orders from your ship than stand up and fight against the end of the galaxy as we know it? Doesn't sound like the Saren Arterius of legend." Mia scoffed.

"My mind is my own! For now. I'd hoped this facility could shed some light on how the process of indoctrination works. The harder you fight it, the more it destroys. But if you accept it willingly… the process is easier. They let you keep more of your mind if you're more useful to them. But you should know all about that. " Saren spat.

"What do you mean?" Mia asked, and the warm green glow that she was starting to associate with a sense of comfort washed over her world. He is referring to me. The voice inside her head told her. Pay him no mind, you are not like him, Mia.

"No," Mia said, her voice taking on that weird, dual resonance. As she continued speaking, she didn't control the words, and slowly her voice slipped from the dual resonance to a slightly lower voice than her normal speaking voice. "You are a tool of Sovereign, something for it to use and dispose of as it sees fit. We are the Shepard. Mia Shepard is not just a tool. We are one."

"Lies," Saren spat, shaking his head. "Look at this army, given to me by the Reapers. You really think one AI in the body of a little girl could win this war?"

Mia felt a cold, calculated rage that was not her own. She was almost in awe of the sheer force of the emotion. Her eyes glowed brightly, her whole field of view going green for a span of thirty seconds. When her vision cleared, the geth that had been surrounding them had all powered down, clattering to the ground around her like empty shells.

"What army?" Mia said, looking up at him through the green haze. The duality in her voice was back. "Still think we're the same? Still think you know what we are? It's not too late."

The bomb next to her started to beep. Five minutes. Shit. If either of them were going to outrun this blast, they needed to go now.

"I think it is," Saren shook his head, turning his back on her and retreating to the hoverpod he'd rode in on. "Enjoy your fiery death, Mia Shepard. It was nice having a challenge while it lasted."

Mia wanted to pull out her gun and fire on him, but something in the back of her head stopped her. You have to go, Mia.

She started running, through the aqueduct, through the doors to the main facility, back to the second body was moving on its own, as if following a built in GPS. She got to the bridge and stopped, facing the ocean. Why was she stopping?

Activate your helmet. She obeyed at once, but didn't know what was going on.

Don't be scared. The voice came again and she frowned. That was never a good warning to receive. What was there to be scared of? From behind her, the sound of something propelled by a jet came streaming towards her. This is it. This is how she died.

I've got you. The voice came again, and just then, a set of robotic hands caught her under her arms. She looked up to see a geth destroyer, its flashlight head's light glowing green as it looked down at her, cocking its head to the side as though checking on her.

"Shepard-Commander," the geth said, its voice robotic. "Please do not be alarmed, but we will be making a water landing to avoid the radiation and blast of the thermonuclear explosion."

Your hardsuit has five hours of air. Just stay calm, and breathe normally. The voice- The Shepard- was right. She could just walk out of the ocean after the blast had settled. The bomb was eezo, not standard nuclear fallout. As long as she didn't get too close to the blast zone, her radiation absorbers in her suit could handle the levels on the surface after the blast for up to a week. She was going to survive.

She tried not to instinctively hold her breath when she hit the water. Thanks to her hardsuit, she sank to the bottom immediately and she sat there, cross-legged, looking up at the bright surface. A rumble shook the ground beneath her, as a shock wave rippled across the ocean's surface. She tried to settle in, knowing it'd be a while until she got evac. She was mostly happy to be alive, but somehow, she'd known a little thing like a bomb couldn't take her out.

Her thoughts drifted to John and how he'd wanted to leave her on this planet to die, anyway. He probably wasn't even mourning her. She wasn't sure how she was going to handle interactions with him when she got back, but she knew she was going to have to put in for a transfer. No more working with family. It was going to get her killed.


July 14, 2183 CE John Shepard Mia Shepard's Apartment, The Citadel 0300 hours

John had been staying in Mia's flat since they landed on the Citadel, unsure of what he should do. Did he tell his mother? He hadn't spoken to her in years, but as Mia's commanding officer and brother, it seemed a little cold to have Anderson be the one to deliver the news. Especially when she had died under his command.

Garrus kept trying to get John to hold out hope, that maybe she survived. John couldn't let himself believe in those what-ifs. His sister was talented, but surviving a nuclear blast at the blast point? No one was that good.

He hadn't been sleeping well since Virmire. They'd been grounded due to lack of evidence, his sister was still labeled as missing in action, but it was just a formality until the Citadel cleanup crew could get out there to confirm the dead. They should be getting the official headcount sometime early this morning. Which is why he was awake. He needed to see those reports, needed to know how much damage they had caused- no. That he had caused.

Mia had gotten every single one of Kirrahe's men that weren't indoctrinated out alive. They'd checked in an hour after the blast, setting up radio towers further inland from the camp. Kirrahe's first question had been the status of Shadow Team and Mia. It had broken his heart to tell the salarian the news.

John sat up from bed quietly, hoping not to wake Liara next to him. She'd taken to sleeping with him in his cabin, and even here, as it was the only way to get him to sleep some nights. He was thankful for her presence, and now he understood just how much the little acts of service he'd given her when her mother passed had meant as she returned them. He swore sometimes it was like he was meant to spend a hundred lifetimes with this woman.

He smiled at her sleeping figure, wanting to reach out and touch her. But he'd let her sleep. They'd all been struggling to sleep lately.

John pulled on his sweatpants and shrugged his jacket over his shoulders before heading to the tiny kitchen, knowing he'd probably bump into one of the crew. John made sure everyone had access to the apartment, and to him. They'd come and gone at odd hours the last few days, but Kaidan and Garrus had been almost permanent residents. They'd been the ones that had spent the most time here when Mia was-

He had to stop thinking about her. He ran his hand over his face and moved to the coffee pot, nodding to the two men in the living room. Kaidan had already put coffee on, and for that he was thankful.

"You're up early, Captain. Sure you slept enough?" Kaidan asked.

"I slept too much. Too much to do, not enough time, and the Council-"

"It's too early to worry about the Council." Garrus dismissed. "Kaidan's right, you look like shit, John. Go back to bed, I'm sure Liara won't mind the company."

"I can't stop thinking about Mia," John almost whispered, bracing his hands against the counter in the kitchen and staring down into his cup of coffee for a long moment.

"Me, too." Kaidan and Garrus said at the same time. They both paused and looked at each other, sharing a sad smile.

"It was supposed to be me arming that bomb. She shouldn't have even been out there." Kaidan shook his head.

"I should have dragged her ass on board when she ordered me away. If anyone could have prevented this, it was me," Garrus almost spat.

John clenched his fists, watching the knuckles go white. Hearing these men, two of the best men he'd ever served with, blaming themselves for his sister's death was too much for him when he knew the only reason she stayed on that planet was because of him.

"No. You two did everything right. You followed orders, you got the job done. No, the only one that fucked up on Virmire was me." John shook his head.

"Captain, you didn't-" Kaidan started, but Garrus cut him off, holding up a hand.

"How exactly do you think you fucked up, John?" Garrus challenged, leaning his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands.

"I told her I wasn't going to let her back on the Normandy. I wanted her transferred, I shook her faith. If I'd built her up instead of trying to scare her… She might still be here." He shook his head.

Garrus studied the man carefully, almost sizing him up. John could feel his eyes on him, and finally he couldn't take it anymore and met his gaze. Garrus's eyes were cold, a sight that shocked him more than he thought it would.

"Glad to know we're on the same page." He said with a nod. "You tore her down pretty hard. But you didn't leave her on Virmire. You told her to get the job done. And she did. You didn't get her killed, John. She did her job."

"I'm the reason she stayed," John frowned.

"No, Saren was the reason she stayed. And the bomb. She needed to make sure it went off, right? You gave her an order and she did her job . Like any of us would have done." Garrus asserted. "Beating yourself up over being an asshole to her before that bomb went off doesn't help anyone. It just makes you a bigger asshole." Garrus shook his head.

John smirked at that, laughing humorlessly once. "I suppose there might be some truth there, Vakarian."

"You're the best damn commanding officer I've had the pleasure of serving under, Captain. It's dangerous when you second-guess yourself and your team. I hope if this mission was good for anything, it was teaching you that." Garrus said, getting to his feet. "I'm going to go find some breakfast."

John's omnitool dinged, and he froze. The reports from the Council? Garrus had stopped in his tracks when John's attention shifted. The turian studied the man carefully, a frown knitting his features together. Kaidan, too, perked up at the alert.

John pulled up his omnitool, and the color drained from his face. Two emails, one from the Council with a list of names of the bodies identified. The other one, though. He opened it, reading it a couple times, his eyes tracing every letter. He looked up at the timestamp, having to verify it a couple of times.

It was Mia.

July 13, 2183 CE

I'm alive. Yeah, I don't know how either. Tell you about it sometime?

It was the same message she had sent him after Akuze. At first, he thought it had to be someone messing with him- someone had gotten ahold of her extranet account and was playing a trick on him. It was the exact same message, after all. He typed a quick reply, ordering the person on the other end to provide their credentials. The reply came just as quickly.

Enroute to the Citadel onboard a salarian transport vessel. Please check the included Virmire ground reports if you don't believe me.

He pulled up the report she'd linked, scrolling down to her name. Shepard, Amelia was listed as… alive. And as she said, the report confirmed she was enroute to the Citadel on a salarian vessel. He felt his knees go out from under him and he landed on his ass hard, tears that he'd been pushing off finally coming to his eyes, but not tears of sadness. Garrus watched the man with concern, coming over to kneel beside him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Captain? Is… what happened?" He asked gently.

"Mia's alive," John whispered, showing Garrus the emails. Garrus's eyes flicked through them quickly, his features flicking through disbelief, to relief.

"She's- how?" Kaidan said, frowning at once. "Are you sure, John?"

"The reports don't look fake," Garrus said, scanning them himself. "I don't know how she did it, but if I'd believe anyone could come back from the dead, it's Shepard."

Kaidan got to his feet, bouncing on the balls of his feet, and looking like he was about to either start pacing to keep from crying. "So she's coming home?"

"Enroute to the Citadel as we speak," Garrus confirmed.

"God, I was such an ass to her. She's never going to forgive me." John shook his head.

"At least she has a chance to," Garrus pointed out. "But you were an ass. You should probably let her know you regret what happened on Virmire."

"I let myself get distracted, and it affected my performance. Not having her on my team affected my performance. I've gotten more dependent on her than I thought I had. Losing her was like losing a part of me." John said, wiping the tears from his cheeks. "Now knowing she's back, but probably hates me-"

"John," Kaidan chimed in from behind Garrus. "Amelia Shepard could never hate you. She hangs on your every word, practically worships the ground you walk on. She sees you as the model soldier, everything she should aspire to be." he informed John. "She talks about you like you're this paragon of human standards. It's hard not to believe in you when you hear how she talks about you." Kaidan smiled softly. John's heart sunk further in his chest. He hadn't known that, not really. Sure, he knew she was proud to be his sister, and that she loved him, just as he loved her. But he didn't realize that while he'd been boasting about her to the higher ups, trying to get her some recognition, she'd been making him a legend among the lower ranks.

"You haven't submitted your official report yet, have you?" Garrus asked. John shook his head.

"No, I was waiting for the after-action reports. I couldn't finish the report without knowing what happened to Mia. I filled the Council in on need-to-know intel only. That's why we're grounded."

"Mia has the coordinates, John. We need to talk to the Council." Garrus reminded him, and John's eyes shot up.

"You're right, but how do we prove to them she does?" John asked, getting back to his feet with the help from Garrus.

"I have an idea for that. For now, you should probably wake Liara and tell her the news. She is sleeping in Mia's bed. You may want to change the sheets." Garrus pointed out. "I still need to get some food in me. I'll meet her at the docks if you want?" He offered.

"I'll be there, too," Kaidan spoke up. "I'm sure a few friendly faces will be welcome after whatever hell she went through on Virmire." Garrus nodded at that, smiling at the other man.

"Pick out some flowers for her," He suggested. "I'm not sure it's quite appropriate as an 'I'm glad you're not dead' gift, but I'm sure it'll make her feel special. She told me you're the only man to ever buy her flowers." Garrus told him.

John looked up at the turian in wonder. John knew Garrus loved Mia. He knew it just like he knew he loved Liara, even though he'd not gotten anywhere near close to expressing that to her. And yet, at every turn, he watched as Garrus threw Kaidan every bone, held his hand to help him win the girl. He really thought Kaidan was better for her than he was. He didn't think he had a chance with the girl he was in love with.

And Kaidan knew he had every chance, and was too scared to do anything about it. John knew Mia terrified Kaidan. He was scared of losing her, and when he had lost her… Kaidan had been like a lost puppy the last few days, sleeping on her couch, using her N7 hoodie as a pillow. John had felt bad for the man who was like a brother to him. He hadn't had the heart to do anything but grieve with him. He'd pulled out Mia's old photo albums the first night, one of the ones from when the two of them were kids, back when they were a big happy family. He'd shown Kaidan his favorite picture of her, a stringy-haired, skinned-knees kid in overalls, hanging upside down out of a tree on Mindoir. She was missing a front tooth, and her pigtails hung loosely above her head.

Kaidan had smiled at the picture fondly, and then moved away, almost not wanting to be reminded of her for too long. Her loss was still too fresh for him. Garrus, though. John pretended not to notice when he saw Garrus sneak into her bedroom later that evening. He'd peeked into the room and saw him scanning the pictures with his omnitool, and John smiled to himself.

John watched the two men leave the apartment, talking amongst themselves about what they were going to buy for his newly un-dead sister, and John felt a weight lift from his shoulders.

She might hate him, but at least she was alive. He just wasn't sure he could live with her hating him.


Mia Shepard Citadel Docks 1200 hours

Mia didn't quite know what to expect when she arrived at the Citadel docks, carrying a duffel that had her armor inside. She was thankfully able to change into some nondescript gray sweats that the salarians had onboard for humans just in case, but she was ready to be back in her own clothes, sleeping in her own bed.

The last thing she expected was her best friend and her boyfriend to meet her on the docks with flowers. Mia hugged Kaidan at once, and he embraced her for a moment before taking her bag, trading it for the flowers in his hand.

"You scared us, Commander," He told her, placing a kiss on her forehead.

"Yeah, scared myself with that one," She told him, looking down. She could feel Garrus's eyes on her, but hadn't been able to bring herself to look at him yet. She'd made him panic, intentionally. She'd been banking on his panic for her plan to work. But that didn't mean it was any easier to see the pain, betrayal, and fear on the man's face when he realized his best friend was going to die. She didn't want to see that echoed there again.

"Mia?" Garrus asked gently, concern filtering through his subvocals. She hadn't addressed him yet. She took a breath and looked up to the taller man, her face dropping into a frown when she saw his kind smile. "Hey, there. What, you don't think I'm mad at you, do you?" He asked with a chuckle. Mia looked down. How could he not be mad? She'd disabled his comms, pulled the closest thing to suicide in the line of duty that she could in front of him.

"I'm sorry I did that to you," She said, peeking up at him. Garrus rolled his eyes, took the flowers from her hand, handed them back to Kaidan so he didn't crush them, and wrapped her in a bone-shattering hug.

"Never be sorry for doing your job, Shepard," He whispered in her ear. "I never blamed you. I blamed myself for not dragging your ass onboard."

"There was something I had to do. I'm sorry I didn't have time to tell you goodbye. It was one of the things I kept thinking about at the bottom of the ocean." Mia admitted.

"Bottom of the ocean?" Kaidan asked, as the two of them broke apart finally.

"I have a lot to tell you two." Mia said, blowing out a breath. "At least now I know why the meds weren't working." Mia smiled sheepishly.

"Come on, John and Liara at your apartment, he was-" Garrus started, but Mia's face shifted.

"John's in my apartment?" She asked, intentionally schooling her features into a neutral mask. "I would really rather not see him right now."

"What? He's been beside himself, thinking he got you killed-" Kaidan said, jumping to John's defense.

"He's the reason I stayed on Virmire, Kaidan." Mia said harshly. "I'm putting in a transfer, off the Normandy. I don't care if I have to quit the Alliance all together, I'm not working under him anymore. It's going to get me killed." She shook her head, dismissively.

Kaidan looked taken aback by her words. "Amelia, you don't mean that, do you? I'd follow you anywhere, but John-"

"I won't ask you to leave your job with the best commanding officer in the Alliance Fleet to follow me, Kaidan. That's not fair to you." She said softly. "I planned on passing along the intel I had for the mission to the Council and then just… disappearing. Finding ways to fight this fight that don't include John Shepard." She shook her head.

"Mia," Garrus murmured, frowning at the shaken woman in front of him. "You didn't see him on that mission. Before he got shot." Mia frowned at that. What did that have to do with anything?

"No, what about it?" She asked, peeking up at him.

"He called out for you. Forgot you weren't there. It shook him up, shook his own faith. I was there to cover his ass, but it shook him so much he didn't even notice the sniper that shot him in the back. He loves you more than life itself. He's just scared and stupid sometimes. I can't tell you how glad I am that you're home safe, because I was worried we might lose a captain there for a while. Your loss was devastating. Give him a chance?" Garrus asked her.

"Did he tell Mom?" She asked softly, searching his eyes.

"I told him to hold off until the official reports. I'm glad he did. That'd be an awkward conversation. I'm glad he didn't have to undo it." Garrus smiled at her softly. Mia dipped her head.

"He wanted to leave me there, Garrus." She murmured. "He told me so," She shook her head. "I don't- I don't remember what happened after that."

"We shouldn't talk about this here," Garrus said, looking around anxiously. "Please, just come home. I promise everything will be okay." He told her with a smile. Mia felt her eyes flash briefly, Garrus's face ringed in a wreath of green haze. Trust him. He speaks the truth.

"O-okay," She relented, taking a deep breath. The green receded again and she blinked.

"That's going to take some getting used to," Kaidan said, shuddering a bit.

"Looks like 'staring longingly into your partner's eyes' is off of Alenko's list," Garrus joked, heading towards the rapid transit station nearby.


Mia Shepard Mia Shepard's Apartment, The Citadel 1230 hours

Mia was more nervous standing outside of her own apartment than she had been at the bottom of the ocean, waiting for the bomb to detonate. She played with the sleeves of the too-big sweater as they made their way through her hallway and to her door. She'd paused right outside, looking up to Garrus as though asking if she really had to do this.

"He's not going to bite your head off." Garrus promised.

Mia nodded and opened the door. She was surprised to see Liara and Tali on her tiny couch, and John pacing back and forth in front of it, as though trying to wear a hole in the floor. He stopped in his tracks when the door opened and he turned to look at her, his eyes examining every inch of her, making sure she was real. Everything was still for the space of a minute. And then John was there, hugging her with a force that she was sure could break a rib. And she found herself hugging him back just as tightly. She suddenly found herself feeling like a scared six-year-old, hugging her brother at the docks before her mother dragged them onto a space ship. Her big brother was here, and everything was okay.

"I'm so sorry," He was murmuring in her ear, rocking back and forth as he held her. "I can't believe you're alive," He told her. "How?"

"Takes a little more than a converted eezo bomb to take out a Shepard." Mia told him with a smile. John finally pulled away, holding her shoulders and scanning her face.

"You probably hate me." He said.

"No," Mia said, looking into her brother's eyes. "I could never hate you. I just think you don't trust me. And that could get one or both of us killed."

"I didn't trust you." John agreed. "That changed on Virmire. A lot changed on Virmire." He admitted. Mia frowned, looking between John and Garrus.

"You were really out of it, Shepard," Tali said, standing and coming over to the other woman. She was hesitant, as if she wasn't real.

"Tali," Mia said, relief washing over her face. She pulled the quarian into a tight hug. "Is your suit okay? Were you able to make all the repairs you needed? I hope you didn't get too sick?" Mia bombarded the girl with questions, all to giggles and hand waves. She knew she'd saved Kirrahe's men, but Tali and John… if either of them hadn't made it out, she wouldn't have known what to do with herself.

"Mia, why are you under the impression that everyone else is not expendable but that you somehow are?" John asked her suddenly. Mia froze at that. It came out like a challenge, and she wasn't happy enough to be alive yet to let her brother off without a warning.

"Because I've been told exactly how replaceable I am by every commanding officer I've ever had." Mia shot back, just as suddenly, not meeting his eyes. "Unfortunately, the result of that is lack of self worth. I've been working on it." She snapped.

"I'm sorry," John said at once. "For letting you believe for a moment that you're replaceable. Mia, I can't do this without you. I need you on my team."

"Sure you can," Mia scoffed. "You did it before I came along."

"Not like this," He smiled nervously. "Mia, I regretted the words I said to you the moment they left my mouth. I've got a bit of a temper sometimes, and I'm working on that . I shouldn't have let it fester for so long, and I shouldn't have let us go into that mission with heavy shit like that in our heads. I was being stupid, there's no excuse. I'm so sorry for everything that happened on Virmire." He told her.

"Speaking of Virmire, where's Wrex? He made it, right?" Mia asked, worriedly.

"Yes, of course. He just didn't want to overwhelm you. Small space, big krogan." Garrus informed her. Mia relaxed at that.

"So everyone is safe?" She asked, skeptically.

"Even Joker," John assured her with a chuckle.

"Mia," Garrus said, leading her to the small kitchen table. "What do you remember, after the beacon?" The room went quiet and she looked up at the faces of her friends around her. She felt the familiar glow in her eyes, just faintly there. The Shepard was watching.

Tell them what you know. They may be able to help.

"I heard a voice in my head. It sounds… like my voice, but not quite. Lower, almost. It's been there for years, usually mimicking my thought patterns. I never thought to question it until it started talking back." Mia frowned.

"It started after Akuze?" John asked, knowingly. He looked up to Garrus and they shared a look as though confirming something they both already knew.

"How did you know that?" Mia frowned.

"It spoke to us. Threatened me." John told her, gently. "After I threatened to leave you on Virmire- an action I regret, by the way. I'd just spent an hour wading through indoctrinated test subjects, I was paranoid. Anyway, after that, you shut down and something else took over. Your eyes were glowing and your voice wasn't… right. You spoke in the third person, and called yourself The Shepard." John informed. Mia nodded, understanding. I'm sorry, I had to suppress you momentarily. Mia forgave The Shepard, but made it very clear that she wasn't comfortable being blacked out like that.

"Saren spoke like he knew what The Shepard was," Mia told John with a frown. I assume Sovereign gave him a briefing on my code, yes. "I think it's some sort of advanced AI. But as far as I can tell, it doesn't want to hurt me. It kept me alive on Virmire." That is correct, Mia.

"Yeah, how did you pull that off?" Garrus asked, arching a brow plate at her.

"Saren yelled at me for five minutes, The Shepard got pissed and my vision went green. When it came back, all the geth around me had been deactivated, but the bomb was about to blow. Saren retreated, and I started running. I got back to the second building and The Shepard told me not to be scared. I guess it gained access to a geth destroyer unit with a functioning jet pack. It scooped me up and plopped me in the ocean just before the blast." She explained.

"It really did keep you alive," John said, almost in awe. "Mia, that thing told me that it would kill me if I threatened your life- but that it wanted to avoid that. Said it knew it'd destroy you. I asked when this started and all it told me was I should have asked you about Akuze. Has this been going on for that long?" He asked her.

Mia looked down at her feet. "Everyone just told me I was crazy, John," She murmured.

"I've seen too much action, my mind is just weak. No one believed me."

"That's remarkable." Liara interjected, speaking for the first time. "I wanted to apologize for making it seem like I only respected John's visions, Mia. I've met a lot of weak-minded people, but neither of you are one of them. If you were, you wouldn't fight like you do." She told them both. Mia saw John smile fondly at his partner, reaching out and squeezing her hand.

"Thank you for saying that Liara," Mia smiled at the woman softly. It was nice getting a chance to clear the air with the majority of the crew in a safe place. "To answer your question, John, yes. The spacing out, the voices in my head, that's been standard issue since Akuze. I don't know what happened there-"

"But we need to go back," John told her. "That's what The Shepard told me. Take her to Akuze and it'll answer my questions."

"John, I'm not sure I can . That place… I lost so many men there." She sighed.

"You won't be alone," John reminded her. "I'll be there."

"And so will I," Garrus told her.

"I wouldn't miss it for anything," Tali confirmed.

"We'd all be right there for you, Amelia," Kaidan told her, rubbing her shoulder gently. She let herself get lost in his touch, leaning her head against his arm for a moment. She needed the physical touch to ground her, let her know this wasn't all some imaginary coma dream or something.

"First we get to Ilos," Mia told John. "If we live through that, then we can talk about Akuze." She told him with a smile. "Deal?"

"If it means you're going to be on the Normandy in the morning, absolutely." John grinned.

"Don't you have a Council meeting to arrange or something?" Mia asked, smirking at her brother. Garrus was the one to come to her rescue, as usual.

"Yeah, I'm sure he does. And I'm starving. You girls wanna grab a bite to eat?" Garrus asked, shooting Mia a knowing smile. She silently thanked him.

Liara and Tali agreed at once, seeming eager to get out of Mia's hair. John hesitated, but finally relented when Liara piped up.

"You should join us, John. The Council can wait another hour." She told him. He smiled at that, then leaned over and ruffled his sister's hair.

"I love you, kid. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" He told her.

"You will," She promised, watching her brother slip a hand around Liara's waist. He wasn't happy yet, but he was getting there. He was definitely way less sad. And that had to count for something.

Kaidan stood behind her, his hands massaging her shoulders as the rest of the crew made their leave. When the door finally shut, Mia let herself let her guard down. She relaxed, letting Kaidan's fingers remove tension she hadn't known she'd been holding.

"I never thought I'd get to touch you again," He whispered in her ear. "It was one of the things haunting my nightmares." He admitted.

"I'm so sorry I scared you like that," She told him, getting to her feet and turning around, looking up at him. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know that, sweetheart." Kaidan told her, reaching out and brushing some hair out of her eyes. "I know you didn't mean to hurt me. But losing you-"

"I know what it'd do to me," Mia told him, closing the space between them and resting her head on his chest. He instinctively wrapped her in his arms. "Stay with me?"

"Of course," He murmured, dropping a kiss on the top of her head. "There's nowhere I'd rather be."