Mental AttractionIt's Bart's birthday and Diggs comes back. Oscar also sings Shania Twain...

Plot

The titles are the leprechaun from Treehouse of Horror XII and the Easter Bunny fighting.

In a yellow room Bart is wearing his nerd glasses and his blond woody Allen wig again.

Oscar in the background seethed.

"Life is much crazier than what I remember. You'd think growing up a bit would make me wiser, HA! No- it just made me taller and if possible, MORE immature." said Woody Bart, he chuckled.

"Stop cosplaying as that freak!" Oscar seethed.

"Stop jumping time conclusions about him... that's libel..." said Bart.

"Dylan speaks the truth!" Oscar seethed.

Bart sighed and face palmed.

The names Bart Jo- Wait you folks should know my name by now... if not, where have you been all these years?!

"Some of your fans may only have just been born..." said Oscar.

"Why is this fetish crap back up again?!" Hank screamed.

"Oh great... the prudish Karen has arrived..." Oscar sighed.

"Stop justifying yourself! Perv!" Hank seethed.

Bart sighed.

It felt like I had been living in Limbo at age 10 for more than a few decades.

"Yeah that's called lazy writing..." said Oscar.

Matt wearing a Hawaiian shirt seethed and snapped a pencil.

"Anyway... the craziest thing dudes is..." Bart narrates.

"That I have a pineapple on my head!" Oscar is wearing a pineapple on his head... He rolls his eyes about in a goofy manner.

Bart glared at him.

"Anyway, this story is set on my thirteenth birthday." said Bart.

"We skipped a few years to make up for the stubborn writing..." said Oscar.

"Scream, shout! Be-" said Bart dancing about in a cartoonish manner.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaagh!" Oscar screamed for no reason.

Bart glared at him.

"What?" Oscar asked.

"Anyway the start of teenage years... Probably the same as childhood but with pimples..." said Bart to himself in narration.

"Also you grow a moustache from genetically engineered milk in a future episode..." said Oscar.

Bart sighed. (See Teenage Mutant Milk caused Hurdles).

Yes dudes. Life certainly has been crazier lately. My reoccurring arch nemesis Sideshow Bob is now dead. Sadly so is my grumpy, chain smoking teacher Mrs K. Yes she was an old hag... but she was my old hag. I actually do miss her. No that's not me going soft...

Anyway onto the story...

...

The Simpsons house. It was decorated with banners celebrating Bart's birthday.

Bart was there, refusing to wear those dumb cone hats.

"Yes the party cone hats... do not let them make you wear them!" Bart said to the fourth wall.

"Teacher makes me wear a cone hat." said Ralph.

"Yes... a dunce cap..." Oscar sighed.

Bart was sat next to his best friend Milhouse, Lewis and Richard were there too.

"Everyone was here, Oscar, that annoying doofus... and (Bart shuddered) My brother Hugo as it is his birthday too." said Bart. They're twins, duh!

"Halloween episodes are not canon! Stop shoe horning Hugo into other episodes!" Hank seethed. Oscar snapped his fingers and an anvil fell upon Hank.

Lisa was there with a cold moody expression, sulking about something.

"She was trying to upstage Bart's birthday and steal attention by bragging about her perfect report card but I was like no way! Shut up and let Bart have his day..." said Oscar narrating.

Lisa gave him a cold, icy stare.

"Can I eat the cake now Mom?" Hugo asked.

"No not yet dear." said Marge.

Bart sighed. "Hugh, can your stomach just wait for a bit..."

Hugo frowned as he felt hungry for cake.

"Lisa was muttering about something and sulking. Why am I not surprised..." Bart narrated.

"Well maybe you got on her nerves Bart, or she's on her soapbox..." Oscar narrated. "I looked hard at Bart."

"Oz I'm narrating in first person not you..." said Bart.

"MALKAFOFET!" Oscar screeched.

"Make a wish, Bart," Mom told me, pointing the phone camera at me as I blew the candles out. "You too Hugo."

Bart closed his eyes thinking about Diggs, a boy he met a short while ago, well two episodes ago. Diggs was cool, until I found out he had a feel issues...

"Ie that he's a lunatic who though he could fly..." said Oscar reading Bart's thoughts with his telepathy.

Bart frowned at him.

"Oh right... my telepathy... Look I can't turn it off..." said Oscar.

Bart wished only one thing to be able to see Diggs again, and for him to get better.

Diggs was currently living in highly secure mental facility or "Hospital". Because of his psychosis and that he thinks he can fly...

Bart went back into a trance and closed his eyes. I just want Diggs to get better, to think normally and stop with this flying thing...

He inhaled then blew out the candles. A stubborn one remained lit. Hugo extinguished that one with a short breath.

Hugo helped with a gust of his foul disgusting fish breath. Why is he still eating fish heads?!

...

Everyone cheered.

Oh... I saw half the cake was frosted butter cream and jam cake. I have a sweet tooth for most cakes. Except carrot cake. I can't stand it. Maybe because it has vegetables in it.

However the other half had fish, mackerels if I'm not mistaken, sticking their heads and tails out of the icing. Ugh... Hugo...

Anyhoo, everyone whooped and all was merry as the cake was cut into slices. Both the sweet in ing half and Hugo's Uh... fish flavoured half.

The guests that unfortunately had to make do with the fish flavoured cake groaned in disgust,

Some of my party guests winced at being served some of Hugo's... I'm not surprised they're grossed out...

Except Teddy, Oscar's living teddy bear creature. He was delighted and went "Mmmmmm!" In a jovial manner when offered a slice of Hugo's fish filled birthday cake.

"What did you wish for, Bart?" Milhouse asked me, and I groaned, replying.

"Milhouse, if I tell you, it WON'T come true."

"Ha, yeah right." He replied with a snort and dug his fork into the cake's soft sponge. He stuffed it in his mouth and continued, "My wishes never come true."

"Your parents got back together..." said Oscar.

Milhouse sighed.

Well that's a kick in the teeth... I hope my wish comes true. The short time I spent with Diggs, he was cool. Until he went loopy! "Anyway how's your cake?" I asked.

"Mmmmmm! You have a great taste in cakes." said Milhouse.

"Eeeeeugh! I'm sorry Hugo but sweet cake and cream does not go well with fish..." Lewis groaned.

"Well I like fishy cake!" Hugo frowned.

"Hugo Mom rustled you up some fish cakes..." I sighed.

Hugo frowned, biting into a cooked fish cake. Captain McCallister's brand.

Teddy, Oscar's living teddy bear creature gleefully gobbled up his slice of Hugo's fish flavoured birthday cake with mackerels sticking out of it...

Hugo was a head case too. The difference is, he scares the Hell out of me! I'm alright with Diggs.

Hugo started scratching behind his ear with his bare foot like a dog does.

Everyone grimaced at him.

Then a falcon or some sort or bird of prey flew in, screeching. Everyone gasped and panicked, pushing and shoving.

Bart knew what to do.

"Ah! Kill it! Kill it!" Homer yelled.

Oscar laughed at Homer's response involving killing the poor bird.

I quickly yelled at the others, "Everyone, drop to the ground." I climbed onto the table as the party guests crouched like they were in an old ad for a nuclear bomb attack. I held my arm up and whistled to the bird.

It spotted me immediately and swooped over to me, landing it sharp talons onto my outstretched arm. I hissed in pain as blood trickled out. That's why dudes, you have to wear a falconry glove...

...

Everyone gets to their feet again. Bart noticed a message wrapped round the falcon's leg.

I slowly began to take it off, and read the words of the note to myself, "Happy birthday Bart, meet me at the tree."

"...Diggs?" Bart wondered, was he better? Or had he broke out again.

The falcon screeched and flew away.

"Poop on Homer! Poop on Homer!" Oscar chanted with glee.

Marge sighed and frowned at him.

The bird left.

Everyone gawked at Bart.

"We'll? We're waiting..." said Judge Smails from Caddyshsck.

Bart winced.

"It's from Diggs." said Bart. Marge gasped. "He's waiting for me by a tree. I have to see him."

Homer blocks the way.

"Oh, no, no, no! You are staying HERE. I did not wait all day just to be skimped out of cake." Homer said in his stern Season 1 voice.

Bart grinned. He had one of his manic moments. "You want cake? Let them have cake!" He threw the birthday cake at Homer, splat!

Everyone gasped at him.

"Bartholomew!" Marge was cross.

"Gahahahaha! Bartholomew..." Oscar chuckled.

Bart made his escape only for Mom to catch him by his left arm, the bleeding one. She shocked at my sudden erratic behaviour, "Bart, all your friends are here, why are you so determined to leave?"

I took a deep breath in, looking behind her at all my school friends and mates. Then in my heart, I felt it hurt as I remembered when Diggs had been committed to hospital.

"Not all my friends..." I finally said, my heart sore from the memory. Mom understood and released him.

Homer wept covered in cake.

Lisa sighed.

"Mmmm... frosting..." Homer licked himself.

Hugo face palmed.

Speaking of warnings for nuclear attack preparations and doomsday drills...

The doorbell rang.

That annoying Vault Tec salesman from Fallout 4 was there.

"Good day sir! Everyone needs to head down to Vault 101 because of an imminent-" Bang! Homer shot him dead with an old fashioned shotgun.

"Neato!" said Oscar.

...

Bart got on his newish bike Oscar made his parents get him last season. He looked for the falcon, it screeched as it circled about. Bart pedals after it. The bird leads him to a tree with a figure sat in it.

I dropped my bike to the grassy ground when I spotted the tree that Diggs had mentioned in the note.

It was so very high up, almost as big as a small skyscraper. And there, there he was.

Diggs was standing on the same top branch the first time he had had an episode. He was taller now, his black hair styled actually pretty cool. But that's not what worried me.

No, he had his arms outstretched, like he was going to try 'fly' again.

I would not let him go through with his crazy beliefs.

"DIGGS!" I yelled at him, and he wobbled a bit on the branch, I grit my teeth in terror.

"Is that the voice of... Bart... Bart Simpson..?"

"Is that the son of Sparda..." said Oscar. Hehehehe! Devil May Cry reference...

Bart glared at him.

"Yes! You idiot! DON'T JUMP!" Bart screamed at Diggs.

Diggs frowned at him, offended by his insults.

"Do a back flip!" Oscar was not helping...

Diggs opened up one eye, glancing down to see me. He then startled back, and I winced as the branch trembled slightly beneath his feet.

"Oh, I wasn't going to jump." He told me with a laugh, now looking at me with both eyes, "I'm going... to FLY."

My body went into shock at his statement, "Please, Diggs! I can't go through this again!"

"Go through what?" He asked me, slightly confused.

"THIS! YOU BEING CRAZY!"

"There's no need to be rude! Yes I'm sick, mentally." said Diggs offended.

"Oh I'm flattered that people notice I'm Cuckoo bananas!" Oscar made a silly face with his tongue hanging out and his eyes crossed.

Diggs eventually saw sense and climbed down from the tree.

"It's been years since I saw you." said Diggs.

"Actually it's only been like two or three episodes..." said Bart.

Diggs rolls his eyes.

Plot 2

"I saw your note and followed it."

"Interesting..." He replied, "So, am I invited to your party?"

"How'd you know it was my birthday today?" I asked, slightly worried.

"I don't know," He replied, his face blank and emotionless to the question, "I guess my spidey senses were tingling." He laughed after he said that and I chuckled nervously back.

Oscar smirked.

"Oz don't! And why are you following me..." I groaned.

"Spider-Man! Spider-Man! Does whatever a spider man can..." Oscar sang.

I face palmed.

"Are you... better now...?" I asked him quietly. He just stared at me. Stared right through me.

"Who knows?" Diggs said with a shrug of his shoulders, "I guess we'll wait and see."

That did not fill me with newfound confidence...

...

What did though was being able to freely walk outside my house without hearing a "Hello Bart..." and seeing Sideshow Bob's hideous red dreadlocks and his sinister glare. I'm glad he's gone for good.

We walked back towards the town of Springfield, me and Diggs.

"Diggs and I... Learn grammar..." Oscar seethed.

Bart rolled his eyes at Oscar.

He seemed to be in a world of his own, his dark eyes gazing to the sky as his pupils followed the falcon that flew high above us as if guiding our way.

"I can't believe you are back in Springfield, man," I said to him, quite amazed yet perplex.

"Ah yes," Diggs replied, still watching the bird. He slowly turned his gaze to me and smiled slightly, adding, "It's the only town where if a person goes missing, they'll never find him." He cackled deviously.

Diggs coming from a nutcase like you, that's not funny!

"Actually I find that hilarious! Wooooo! Diggs might eat your liver..." Oscar was reading Bart's thoughts again.

Diggs frowned again.

"Him?" I perked up surprised with that specific pronoun. It took a couple of seconds before I realized who he as talking about, "...you!?"

Diggs just chuckled, and pat me on the back gently.

"There are over a thousand Springfield towns in the world, and this one hasn't been documented."

"...oh," I uttered, thinking this over and realizing it to be true, "But... but where will you stay?"

"Why, I could build a nest in a tree. Look after my eggs and watch my babies grow."

I lowered my eyebrows, a discerning frown on my lips. It was at that second Diggs looked at me with a huge smile and added, "KIDDING! Heh heh."

"Oh, riiiight,"

I played along, but really had a deep concern for my friend, "Well if you want, you can stay at my house?"

"... really?" Diggs asked, surprised by the invitation, "Like brothers?"

"-er-" No! I already have an insane brother! I do not need another! Well Eric's pretty level headed for a baby that sits in his own shit all day.

"Like BROTHERS?!" Diggs cheered and did a fist pump through the air, "That sounds awesome."

"I'll have to ask my mum first."

...

At home.

Absolutely NOT." Mum said to me infuriated, "We already have enough crazy in this house."

Hugo was running about like a dog. He was stark naked!

"Put your clothes back on!" Homer, my dad yelled chasing him with his clothes he shedded.

"Uh!" Diggs irked, insulted, "I'm only crazy when not given my pills."

"Same here!" Grandpa called from the dining room.

"Who let Grandpa back in?!" Homer yelled angrily. No I will not call him Dad.

I looked at my mother, my eyes getting bigger, tears swelling around them and mum glanced away from my puppy dog eyes, whispering to herself.

"Don't be fooled by his puppy dog eyes, having another kid in the house would be a disaster."

Oscar with a party hat on each ear was glaring at Mom with red eyes. I think he wants to help me, but I hate him bullying people with he's freaky powers to help me!

"Okay fine! He can stay." Mom sighed.

"Oh good, because I am all he has right now. He needs me." I explained about Diggs who was clearly away with the fairies as he stared at the walls.

Which raises various questions... where are Diggs's parents? If he has any?

"You really want Harry Potter living with us..." Oscar sighed.

"Oz he is not Harry Potter!" Bart yelled.

I sighed heavily, thinking this over. I glanced at Diggs, my friend smiling and giving me a nod. I felt a coldness in my heart... but it bet gently as I realized I pitied him.

ME?! Be the pitier?

Mum bit her lip, looking over to the older teenager and sighed adding, "I know how it feels, Bart... okay, he can stay for a while."

"Woo hoo!" Diggs cheered giving his falcon a high five, "No more having to eat the prey my bird kills for me." Eeeeeeugh!

Hugo smirked.

"Heh heh...?" Mum chuckled awkwardly.

"That wasn't a joke," Diggs replied and she mumbled under her breath.

"... I know."

...

Anyway the next part is with Diggs doing crazy stuff...

Turns out the party had pretty much disbanded when I had left in search for Diggs. My new friend sat on the carpet in the living room, right up to the TV as he stared like a zombie into its screen.

"...Diggs?" I asked him, as I was sitting on the couch and a few feet away.

"Yes, master?" He asked and I laughed awkwardly.

Oscar smirked.

"Heh heh, yeah... maybe you shouldn't be so close to the TV."

"But it's telling me things..." said Diggs. Uh...

"It's telling me things too." said Oscar. "No David Schwimmer! I will not slice everyone up with a chainsaw! Where will I even get one at this moment?!'

I winced at Oscar.

My teeth gritted and I bit my lip worried, pushing myself more to the couches edge and asking.

"Really...?"

"Chhh! No," Diggs laughed and put his hand in his pocket, pulling out a small plastic jar of medicine, "Not as long as I keep taking my meds."

"Y'know, Diggs..." I said to him quietly, getting up and placing my hand on his shoulder. He squinted back at the touch and I quickly lifted my hand off him, "You don't have to keep making jokes at your own expense."

He looked slowly into my eyes, his own ones seeming lost and worried.

"It must be hard having this illness." I said softly

"I wish it WAS an illness..." He muttered then, his voice getting quieter the more he spoke, "But illnesses go away eventually... my brain, it doesn't work right."

I blinked my eyes slowly, feeling sympathy towards him.

"It's like my mind is me and my brain... it's, it's my enemy. I wish you could understand."

"I understand." said Oscar butting in. "I have another side to my mind... An evil side." He meant that evil Dark Oscar... His millennium sword glowed.

Diggs clenched his fists and pierced his eyes upwards, yelling, "I wish EVERYONE could understand!"

He took a deep breath in and a heavy broken sigh out, "But no one ever will..."

I knelt beside him, giving a half-sad smile of my own.

"If it helps... you're not alone."

Digg's eyes looked guiltily into mine.

"I've got A.D.D."

"Attention Deficit Disorder?" Diggs asked.

"Is that what it stands for?!" I said, laughing in shock at the revelation just then, "I always thought meant I had hyper energy and no control."

"What I wouldn't trade to have what you have and not my own 'illness." Diggs said sadly and pulled his knees to his chest, rocking back and forth in a cradle, "But the grass always seems greener on the other side."

"The grass next door is greener." I told him, "Dad's pretty much destroyed our lawn."

"That was the dog!" Homer yelled. "Doing his business!" He paused. "Oh and not forgetting Hugo and Oscar's teddy bear creature using the lawn as a bathroom too...

"Eeeeeew!" Diggs groaned. Yes my twin brother goes to the bathroom outside...

"And Diggs, it's not just us too. Oscar, he has high functioning Aspergers but bladder and bowel issues. He wears diapers 24 7."

"Bart he doesn't need to know that!" Oscar yelled.

"And my twin Hugo? He's violently schizophrenic... and he believes he must surgically reattach us both back together." I continued.

Hugo laughed maniacally.

Diggs winced.

...

Diggs got a full view of the nut house that is my family...

Hugo was hungry so he fetched from somewhere a bucket of rotten stinky fish heads and ate them.

"Hugo don't eat your fish heads in here..." Mom sighed.

"Look freak! If you can't act normally you can go up to the attic!" Homer yelled.

"Shut up! Don't ever call him a freak! And he doesn't have to go up there if he doesn't want to!" Oscar stood up for his um friend, my brother Hugo. I can't tell if they're just friends or if he's gay for Hugo and fancies the shorts off of him.

"That's okay buddy. I want the peace and quiet." said Hugo holding Oscar's hand in a chummy manner and smiling at him.

Diggs winced.

...

Diggs then was playing with me in my room while we played Bonestorm X. But he had to go to the bathroom. But he made a wrong turn and went into the guest bedroom we suddenly have for Oscar. He winced because as I found out when I went to fetch him hearing him yell "What the?!" Mom was in there changing Oscar's diaper...

"Mom! Do you have to do that right now?!" I yelled mortified.

"Yes dear. Because Oscar will get a diaper rash." said Mom as she wiped his butt with wet wipes.

Hank screamed with rage.

Marge frowned at him.

"Hurry up and put my clean diaper upon me...," Oscar whined.

I shivered in disgust. In case it's not plain to you dudes already. Oscar's one year younger than me. I just turned THIRTEEN. Do the math... yes that's a twelve year old lying on a diaper changing table getting his diaper changed...

I stormed off downstairs to get a snack.

I looked in the fridge for a candy bar, I took a hold of one and well took it... it's not rocket science...

"I can't write that well, not like that Bart and Harry Potter writer..." said Oscar.

"Well learn to write fiction!" Bart sighed.

When I slammed the fridge shut Lisa was staring at me. I yelped.

"What do you want?!"

"Bart I'd say it's heart warming and touching you're helping someone. But I know you. There's more to this with you and Diggs... so spit it out... or I'll tell Mom..." said Lisa frowning.

"There's nothing bad going on. I pity him. Yes I, Bart Simpson feel sorry for someone!" I ranted.

Lisa softened up. "I know you pity him Bart. But you don't know the full extent of his illness. He could be extremely dangerous when off his medication!"

"He thinks he can fly..." I explained.

"Also I believe he maybe a cannibal too..." said Oscar arriving after having his diaper changed.

Bart face palmed.

"Oz take this seriously..."

Diggs was in the lounge flapping his arms rapidly, trying to fly.

Bart face palmed.

"And...? Ralph fries to fly in the library all the time..." said Oscar.

"Ralph has his own issues..." Bart sighed.

...

Bed time. Bart's room.

I lay in bed that night, just thinking.

Plus... There was a lounge thumping from Hank's room. He was throwing a tantrum and punching the wall over Oscar's diaper fetish.

Yeah well Hank can go jump off a cliff.

I had made some radical decisions today, and even though I was happy for Diggs that he could stay out of the psychiatric ward, I felt a bit unsettled in myself.

Who was I to say that he was ready for the world? But then again, who was I to say that he wasn't?

Diggs had been put into the guest room for his bedtime. I didn't know we had a guest room, but whatever.

"I just wrote that you had one numbskull! I sleep there..." said Oscar.

Oz shut up...

"Never!" said Oscar.

Hank's room. "Hate him! Hate him! Hate him!" Hank screamed and punched his pillow.

His cult of deluded friends frowned. Well tough. If Stephen King can write messed up stuff so can I... Well within the site rules.

Plot 3

Bart laid in bed awake still. Then he head the roof tiles clatter as they became dislodged.

I got up carefully, and opened my window, poking my head through and seeing Diggs up above, waving his hand at me.

"Hey, Bart!"

"DIGGS?!" I screeched and quickly lept from the window to our tree that was beside it. I climbed up the branches and landed my feet on the tiled roof, glaring at him, in worry, "What are you doing up here?"

"Talking to the owls!" He said in delight, "They're nocturnal you know?"

"Yes, I knew that..." I muttered under my breath. Lisa constantly bored me with animal trivia, it must have seeped in... Diggs was sitting at the top edge of the roof, and put his hands on each side of his lips, calling out to the dark.

"Hoo! Hoo!"

An owl landed by him and hooted.

"I call that one Doctor Hoo." said Oscar warping in from nowhere.

Diggs laughed.

"He works at Hooters." Oscar smirked.

Diggs laughed harder.

"Diggs, we have to go back to bed." I sighed.

"Do we...?" He asked, and a smile grew up his cheeks, "After all, it's morning somewhere in the world."

"Yes," I stressed and grabbed his arm, yanking him up and back to my bedroom window, "But NOT HERE."

"Shame, isn't it?" Diggs uttered sadly and jumped over to the tree like a pro. He scaled down it and swung from the lower branch, landing into my room. My eyes opened a little at the seeing of his skills. I tried to copy his moves but when I let go of the swinging branch I miscalculated and had to grab hold of the window sill with my hands. I was dangling there, and Diggs laughed.

"Don't try to be like me, Bart Simpsons," He said and grabbed hold of my arm. He pulled me up and into the room, "I'm part bird, part boy and part ninja." Cooool!

"Coooool!" said Oscar.

"Heh heh," I laughed at his joke and settled back on my feet, but my body was still tensed up from the near fall, "Y'know Diggs, you can be funny."

"I don't want to be funny." Diggs replied back to me, as if annoyed at that compliment, "I want to be right."

"Ohhh... kay?" I said, a bit confused by what he meant by that statement.

"I like being funny." said Oscar. "I am alright. Or normal or whatever the regular people call themselves... Just because I have a hotel in my foot doesn't make me a boogily moogily!"

"Uh..."

"Stop laughing style me flying avocado!" Oscar yelled at something only he could see.

Diggs gawked at him freaked out.

He looked at me slowly, askew and seeming like something was making him unhappy inside. He sighed and began to leave my room, uttering.

"But I'll never be right..."

I didn't see him for the rest of the night, and my sleep was not well because of my worry for him.

...

When I woke up the next morning, I felt very groggy. I slowly pressed off my alarm that was vibrating on my phone, rubbing my eyes and getting up on my feet to get changed. When I left my bedroom I walked across the upper hallway. When I passed by Digg's room, I took a few steps back, peeking in through the gap of the door and saw... he wasn't there.

I bit my lip, my body tensing again and I hurried down the stairs, hearing Lisa laughing with someone.

That someone being Diggs.

I took a relieved breath out and came into the kitchen. Diggs and Lisa were up and at the small round table eating what looked like breakfast.

I smiled, and grabbed a bowl, pouring myself some cereal out from it.

"What were you two laughing about?"

"Oh, well you see, Diggs was just being funny eating his breakfast."

"What's so funny about that?"

"I told him that eating live worms was totally gross."

"Live – WHAT?"

I suddenly looked down to my spoon that was heading towards my mouth, seeing scribbling worms crawling over each other and I yelled frightened. I slapped the spoon of worms away from my mouth and stared at Diggs horrified.

"Mmmmm... Gagh..." said Hugo.

"Worms?! You can not eat WORMS for breakfast."

"They do on the Klingon planet..." said Hugo.

"Yeah, your sister said the same thing." He replied with a shrug of his shoulder, "But that didn't stop me from trying."

Lisa giggled to herself, but I was just crossed.

"Listen Diggs, you can't be doing crazy things all the time or else you'll be sent back to the crazy ward."

"Crazy ward...?" Diggs uttered confused, and looked at me as if hurt, "This isn't me being crazy... worms are full of protein."

"He's right Bro, I watched a Bear Grylls documentary on it. People eat worms and bugs etc in some cultures or just to survive." said Hugo joining us at breakfast.

"That's true Hugo. I was an insectivore/bug eater once because I had anaemia and couldn't take my iron pills. However I realised bugs, worms and creepy little monsters are still animals so I just had to give up and return to vegetarianism." said Lisa.

"In this house, in this continent, it is NOT NORMAL." I snapped.

"I'm not trying to be normal," Diggs muttered, looking down to the floor and gulping in internal pain at my words, "I'm just trying to be ME."

"Yeah?" I said back, and glared at him, still upset over me nearly eating worms, "Well, BE less YOU."

Diggs eyes widened when he heard me say that. His eyes just looked back and forth through the air, processing what I said and he placed his own spoon slowly into his bowl of worms, getting up.

"Okay..."

His eyes shined with salty water, but I kept my angry stare on him.

"I just need to be alone right now..." He continued and after that took a few steps out of the room, leaving the house.

Lisa slowly glared over at me, her expression very disapproving.

"How COULD you?!" She asked me, and pushed her own breakfast bowl away, getting up and leaving me as well.

"How could I what?" I asked her in a yell, "I do NOT want to eat worms, and he shouldn't either!"

She shook her head once more at the exit and came out to the backyard where Diggs had headed.

"I'm not the weird one here!" I shouted at her, and tossed my bowl on the ground, getting up and following to prove my innocence, "I'M NOT!"

...

Hugo then bugged the hell out of me by constantly going on about Klingons eating worms. Then Oscar kept going on about his Road Dahl book The Twits...

"You're a twit..." I muttered.

Oscar glared at Bart.

In the backyard.

I found Diggs in the yard. He seemed really upset with me...

"Diggs I'm sorry..."

Lisa was comforting him.

"It's okay, I know your culture doesn't eat worms..." said Diggs.