The Homer they Fall Shortly after seeing the last, supposedly, of Sideshow Bob after he threw himself off of a dam. The Simpsons continues into the episode The Winter of his Content but with corrections...
Marge then hates Homer for cruelly refusing to go and pick up his father after his retirement home got shutdown. Meanwhile Bart stands up for Nelson so he calls upon the town bullies to take him out one night to an initiation ceremony to become a bully. However Bart doesn't like bullying and an evil bully steals his slingshot and attacks another bully with it. Bart, Nelson, Jimbo, Dolph and Kearney have to flee back to Springfield chased by other bullies.
Abe decides to teach Homer a lesson by making him old to show him what it's like to be old.
Plot
The titles are The Easter Bunny and Treehouse of Horror XII leprechaun fighting.
The billboard gag is Rabbi Krustofski. The advert reads "This Easter give up Jesus for lent." There is a photo of a synagogue called the Temple of Beth.
The chalkboard gag is "My dad is already drunk for St Patrick's Day.
Oscar's chalkboard lines read "My uncle is already high for St Patrick's Day."
Uncle Buck Tamaki is high on cannabis.
The couch gag is Homer as the Operation board game. Lisa is in his head as the brains. Maggie is his ankle bone as the Ankle biter. Bart is the bone in his pelvic area as the Pain in the Butt. As the tweezers remove him Bart grows a body and arms and legs and grabs the tweezers and touches them against the metal of the board game.
Homer screams in pain. Bart laughs as the game keeps buzzing.
...
The episode starts one evening with Homer and Marge dressed up for a party stumbling home while snogging.
"Get a room..." Oscar groaned while outside in his pyjamas stuffing Clownjas into the garbage bin. The Clownjas hissed at him.
"Oz get inside and go to bed..." Homer groaned.
"Anyway the amount of times Matt wrote you two falling out last season I'm amazed you're still in love..." Oscar groaned as he went inside.
Homer frowned at him.
Marge and Homer continued snogging. Homer got out the mail. Because Homer dislikes bills Marge read them while snogging him, Homer read the magazines.
"Oh! Okoooh! Well that's just hilarious..." Homer browsed the magazines quickly while snogging Marge.
"Oh. Oh no... Oh dear..." Marge sighed looking at the bills and demands from the IRS.
"Marge if they're not Final demands just bin them..." said Homer snogging her.
They got inside. There were toys all over the floor.
"Donkey!" said Shrek as Homer stomped on him.
Oscar laughed.
Marge who was seeing for him because he was stumbling in backwards in mid song trying to take her coat off was alarmed to see food splattered on the walls, a satanic cultist leaving the downstairs toilet and an AA meeting in the living room.
"And that's why I want to quit drinking..." said a random guy sat in the lounge with others.
Marge pulled away from Homer angrily. "Homer J Simpson did you hoodwink me into leaving our children without a babysitter again?!"
"Bart's neglected antics are hilarious though! Except for the ones that cause damage to the house or cost me money..." Homer replied growling under his breath.
Marge grumbled.
Oscar's room. Bart and Oscar are looking out the rear window into the yard.
"Is that hobo still peeing in our yard?!" Oscar asked.
"Yeah by the looks of it..." said Bart.
...
The next evening out.
Homer got ready by shaving.
"Hey big guy, I need Marge to change my nappy." said Oscar holding a clean diaper to be changed into.
"She's downstairs calling a babysitter." said Homer. "And don't call me big guy. Call me Homer."
"Okay Homer." Bart smirked.
Homer growled as he applied shaving cream to his face. "You have to call me Dad!" He snarled at Bart.
Oscar kept imagining when the elephant dad from the elephant family books he reads was shaving but the son was making a mess with the shaving cream.
"Oz you zoned out again..." said Bart.
"Sorry I was thinking about that cartoon elephant family from my books..." said Oscar.
Bart winced.
"Oz go and bother Marge to get your diaper changed..." Homer barked while shaving.
Eventually a young blonde girl from college arrived to see to the kids while Marge and Homer went out.
Homer paid her.
"Thanks for expecting payment out of my wages to look after my brats while I'm gone because the CPS thinks it's wrong for me to leave them alone for a few hours and humiliating me as a lax underachieving father..." Homer ranted paying her.
"Mooom! Why didn't you just hire a crazed hobo or a sack of potatoes to look after us..." Bart groaned.
"Hmmmmmmmm!" Marge grumbled.
Be good for Megan while we're gone kids!" said Marge.
"Especially you, Boy..." Homer snarled.
They left.
Oscar and Bart snickered and chuckled because Marge sat on Oscar's paints and had colourful squares of paint on her backside.
Once she was gone they bursted out laughing.
...
Later Marge and Homer tumbled in snogging again. Marge was reading the bills and was concerned over them.
"Mmmmmm. Mail..." said Homer looking through the magazines.
"Donkey!" said a Shrek doll as Homer stepped on him.
This time a Krusty Jack in w box was among the toys.
Clownja made bedroom eyes at the Krusty Jack in a box.
Homer paid the babysitter a tip and she left.
They went upstairs when the green living room phone rang.
Marge groaned.
"If it's important, they'll call back." said Homer. They went upstairs.
(phone continues ringing)
"Mom! Dad! The retirement home lost its license and Grampa has nowhere to live!" Lisa yelled.
"D'oh!" Homer grunted. "We're not having him over again! This is the fourth or fifth time now! Sweetie put the phone down and I'll block them tomorrow."
"Daaaad! He's our Grampa!" Lisa yelled.
"Homer! He's your father! You should care for him!" Marge snapped.
"So? He never cared for me..." said Homer.
"Homer how can you say that? What if something happened to him?!" Marge's yelled.
"Well I'd still have Mom. And I love her." said Homer.
"Well what if something happened to Mona..." said Lisa.
"I'd be deeply upset and kill us all in a murder suicide pact because life is worth nothing without my Mom!" said Homer. "Anyway why does my dad matter?"
"Homer you still have your father!" Marge cried and sobbed thinking about her dad, the late Clancy Bouvier.
Homer sighed.
...
At the retirement home front greens and sidewalk.
"Yeah Feds took away our license and shut us down. They found out about the mannequin nurses..." said a worker to Marge.
"And serves you right. Look after the old people properly you monsters!" said Oscar angrily.
Dr Hibbert arrived to pick up his father who was rather hilarious...
"Come on Pops, lets go home..." Dr Julius Hibbert sighed to his elderly father.
"Who are you, dummy?" said Papa Hibbert in a Red Foxx voice.
"I'm your son..." said Dr Hibbert.
"Look who's here, the big dummy!" Papa Hibbert realised.
"You do know I'm a doctor now." said Hibbert.
"Ex doctor..." I have no idea why they let you practice again..." Oscar snapped.
"Yeah! M.D.! Major Dummy!" said Hibbert's father.
Oscar laughed.
Dr Hibbert sighed exasperated.
Ace and Irwin winced.
"So your Grampa's a Red Foxx sounding version of Black Dracula..." Ace sighed.
...
Marge arrived with the kids to where Grampa was standing looking vulnerable and lost.
"Come on Abe. We're taking you in. Again." Marge said softly.
"What's the point? My own son doesn't want me..." said Abe.
Marge frowned thinking angrily about Homer. "Well we do want to look after you! I can't turn away a gentle old man!"
Abe smiled. "Marge you are a sweet young lady. I'm sorry your father isn't still around to be a burden like me."
"Grampa you're not a burden..." said Lisa.
"And I'd give anything to see my Daddy again!" Marge cried.
Abe comforted Marge,
"Oh! I guess Grampa's coming home with us." said Hugo.
"Unless... what about that nice dog boarding place? The really good one, where they each have their own dog partner." said Homer being cruel.
"No kennels!" Marge snapped.
"You're right. Bad idea, bad idea." said Homer.
"Should we just, you know, drive by and take a look at the place...?" said Homer.
Marge and Abe glared at him.
(groans) "Bad idea. Bad." Homer sighed.
...
Marge noticed no one had picked up Jasper or Old Jewish Guy.
"When are your relatives going to be here?" Marge asked them.
"Can I be honest with you? They're not." said old Jewish guy. "We're all alone in this world."
Jasper sighed.
"All I have left is a phone message from my late wife." said Old Jewish Guy.
"Pick up the phone, big shot! I know you're there!" said a voice message from a Jewish lady on Old Jewish Guy's phone.
"You're both coming home with us." said Marge.
"You mean it?" asked old Jewish Guy.
"Mm-hmm." said Marge.
"Ah, just let me say good-bye to my girlfriend." said Jasper cheering up. "Don't get fat." he said to an old lady who lived in the nursing home.
...
At the Simpsons house. Abe, Jasper and Old Jewish Guy unpacked.
"Honey, Grampa is the closest thing I have to a father, and I love him, but three octogenorous?" Homer whined.
"He is your Dad!" Lisa snapped.
"Homie, Homie, we'll be old someday." Marge tried to be diplomatic.
(laughs) "Speak for yourself. Glug-glug-glug. Chomp-chomp-chomp. (gasps) Beep..." said Homer imitating a heart monitor flatlining. (laughs) "My lifestyle is my retirement plan."
"Homer I have no idea why I married you! Maybe my sisters were right!" Marge snapped.
"Dad I cannot believe you! Are you saying you refuse to stay around long enough to see Zia when she's born?!" Lisa yelled.
"Or Picard and Kirk?!" Bart yelled.
At the retirement home.
"Oh! And don't forget my ripple." said Papa Hibbert.
"You're not taking your ripple." Dr Hibbert sighed.
"Without ripple, I never would have had you. Ripple's your real daddy. (chuckles)" said Papa Hibbert. Presumably Ripple is a viagra medicine or something.
...
At the Simpsons house.
"This is gonna be a swell flophouse, sister." said Old Jewish Guy.
"So, where should we park our pills?" said Jasper.
"What pills?" Marge asked.
Jasper and Jewish Guy spilt pill bottles on the floor.
"Aah!" Marge gasped because Maggie picked one up.
(laughs) "Don't worry, Marge. It's childproof." said Jasper chuckling.
Maggie expertly unscrewed the lid.
"Oh, oh..." Jasper gulped.
"Homer, how are we doing with those cots?" Marge asked.
Oscar bought in a baby Cot.
"You said cots." said Oscar.
"Oz in America we call that a crib. Yet to rappers a crib is their house..." said Bart.
Homer brought in three green canvas beds.
"Come on Boy help!" He barked at Bart. Bart picked up the other end of the bed.
"James you're gonna have to find somewhere else to live. My wife took in three old saps..." said Homer as Bart helped him take the beds down to the basement.
"I have no idea what Marge sees in you..." said James Bouvier.
(grunts) "Uh... come on, boy. Your job is to guide me." Homer grunted carrying a green canvas bed.
"Well, I really think you should watch your temper." said Bart.
"I mean down the stairs, you stupid kid!" Homer yelled.
"Stupid kid? Do you really think that's the way we should communicate?" Bart sighed.
"You just want to see your old man trip and fall. Well, sorry to disappoint you, lad, but... What the...? D'oh! D'oh! Ooh!" Homer replied. Suddenly he stumbled down the attic stairs.
lNot what I was hoping for, but it'll do." said Bart. He laughed maniacally. (cackles)
Plot 2
At school during fourth grade gym. Coach Krupt was teaching. Everyone was getting changed into their PE uniforms.
"Okay, boys, shower up." said Coach Krupt. "And I better hear some towels snapping."
(Towel snaps like a whip being cracked.)
(Uter the fat German kid shrieks.)
"Yes. Very good Richard." said Coach Krupt.
"Ow! Stop zat!" Üter whined.
Richard laughed and whipped Üter with his towel again.
Bart winced.
"Don't make me run! I'm full of ze chocolate!" Üter cried.
"Muntz, what is wrong with you? Now, you get undressed in front of everyone that's staring at you." Coach wondered why Nelson wasn't getting undressed.
Nelson took down his shorts. He was wearing pink lacey underwear.
(all gasp) The kids gasped.
(gasps) "Is that women's underwear?" Coach Krupt asked.
"My mom can't afford to buy me clothes, so I wear her hand-me-downs." said Nelson. (sobs) He cried.
(children laughing)
"Muntz, there's a kind of poverty that toughens you up, but this... is sad." Coach Krupt sighed.
(children laughing)
"Hey, leave him alone." Bart stood up for Nelson. "I, too, know the pain of hand-me-down underwear. My dad buys the underpants gorillas wear during monkey shows." He was holding up an enormous pair of underpants. "So if you're gonna laugh at Nelson, laugh at me, too."
No one dared laugh. They thought Bart was admirable.
"Simpson, I won't forget this. From now on, you and I are as tight as whiteys." said Nelson hugging Bart.
"Stop saying Whities! That enrages me!" Oscar yelled.
Bart frowned at him. "Oz why are you here... You're in third grade..."
...
There is a montage of the old people at the Simpsons making annoying sounds.
Like farting.
"Eeeeeew!" Lisa groaned as Abe or Jasper or Old Jewish Guy farted.
Oscar laughed hysterically. He then squeezed out a fart.
(Disgusting fart sounds.)
"Eeeeeeew!" Lisa groaned.
"Oz stop! You'll soil yourself and my mom has just changed your diaper..." said Bart.
Oscar rolled his eyes.
Gasping and groaning as they hobbled about.
"Come on... I can walk faster than you..." Oscar sighed watching them hobble.
Jasper grumbled while hobbling slowly through a door way.
Homer arriving sighed as he watched the Oldman slowly limp about.
"I'll shoo them out with my farting..." said Oscar.
"Uh no... It stinks in here of ancient colon already..." said Homer.
Request buzzers going off because they wanted something.
"I'm hungry." said Abe.
"I'm cold." said Jewish Guy.
"I was just kidding with ya. Hehehehe!" said Jasper.
Marge frowned.
Them snoring.
Abe, Jasper and Jewish Guy snoring I the lounge while Lisa and Hugo try to read.
Hugo annoyed covered his ears.
...
However Homer was the one to complain.
"I've had it up to here with those freeloading wrinkle bags. They pee all night, they cry all day, and every time they use the computer, the font is huge." said Homer ranting.
Marge was at a computer and typed A. A huge A appeared filling up the screen. "Aah!" She screamed.
"Dad, did it ever occur to you that we're learning how to take care of you when you're older by watching the way you treat Grampa?" Lisa lecturers him.
"Have you seen how he treats my grampa?" Homer asked. "Never visits him. Never even acknowledges his existence."
"Your grampa's alive?" Lisa asked surprised.
"Oh, yeah." said Homer.
"Okay... Well, can you please be nicer to our grampa? For me?" said Lisa.
"I love Grampa. You may not realize it, but he's a treasure." said Hugo bring cute.
"Keep it down in there, you jabbermouths! I'm trying to watch C-SPAN2." Grampa yelled from somewhere.
"Please?" Lisa asked.
"Okay." said Homer. (laughs) "You know, I love him, too. In a manly way. That never shows itself."
Old Jewish Guy made unreasonable demands. "Now, we're going to need three hearing aid batteries, all different and hard to get." Um okay... "And this has to be in the fridge, next to the butter. And the butter has to be open." He asked for something medical to be kept in a cold environment next to open butter.
"Oh, I'll see what I can do." said Marge looking at the tub of medication he gave her wondering why the butter needed to be uncovered.
"I can handle them from now on, Marge." said Homer.
"Gentlemen, I've been thinking. My glorious youth and beauty won't last forever. Someday, when the leaves have turned and the moon has broken apart into chunks of floating cheese, I will be old." said Homer to the old guys. Mmmmmm! Moon cheese...
"What's your point, pound cake?" asked Jasper. Mmmmm... pound cake.
"I'm hoping we can find a way to coexist." said Homer.
"What did he say?" Abe asked.
"He wants to see if ghosts exist." Jasper replied.
"Ooh, they do. My Uncle Bill is here right now." said Old Jewish Guy. "Oh, Bill, Bill, I'm so sorry I wasn't a very good ladder holder." He apologised to a ghost of his uncle.
"That's all right." said Uncle Bill. He was Jewish man with a horribly broken and twisted neck floating as a spirit.
Oscar sucked up the ghost with a vacuum cleaner.
"Why did you do that?!" Old Jewish Guy asked annoyed.
"I'm a ghostbuster." said Oscar.
...
During the night.
Bart was sleeping when someone put a sack over his head and several figures kidnapped him!
"All right, take off his hood." said Jimbo. Bart found he was outside somewhere with Jimbo, Dolph and Kearney and Nelson and his weasels.
"Where am I?" Bart asked.
"Our secret place." said Dolph.
"The empty swimming pool from the country club that closed down rather than let women in." said Kearney.
(coyote howls)
"Meep! Meep!" went a roadrunner.
Bart winced.
"Now, enter the stolen bicycle graveyard." said Jimbo. They went into an area with bikes.
"We've decided to make you an honorary bully." said Jimbo. "Bestow upon him the necklace of unknown retainers." Kearney put a necklace of retainers on Bart. Eeeeew! Retainers...
"Um... thanks, but I'm not sure I want to be a bully." said Bart.
"It's too late. You've seen our faces." said Jimbo.
Bart grimaced exasperated. "Jimbo, I see your face all the time... we're at the same school..."
"Shut up!" said Jimbo annoyed by his logic.
"Hey! James! He's untouchable now! He's one of us!" said Nelson.
"One of us... One of us... one of us..." the bullies chant.
...
Meanwhile Abe, Jasper and Jewish Guy went out early in the morning to the breakfast restaurant because they like chatting to the owner as he is opening up.
"We're like the three stooges now that home's shut down. I miss Gladys and the others." said Abe.
"Having nostalgia... Oh that's a paddlin'." Jasper muttered.
Elsewhere.
"Pops can you not boil your underwear..." Dr Hibbert groaned.
"Dracula don't have to take that from you Dummy! Dracula boil his underwear if he wants." said Red Foxx sounding Papa Hibbert.
"Can your show not do Red Foxx references... That's my show's thing..." Irwin groaned.
...
At Home.
"Yes Wiggum... Bart's gone missing. Again..." said Marge. "Hmmmmm, can you try to be a bit more helpful? I do speak to Sarah often."
Wiggum sighed. Then he confused the Elvis song Suspicious Minds with a song about clams.
Mmmmmm clams...
"Chief that was Shellfish Presley!" said Lou.
Oscar laughed.
"Shellfish Presley..."
...
At the cafe Abe saw Zelda the hoochy who only likes men with cars.
"Now Abe, you stay away from that hoochy... she just wants you to get her a chicken dinner..." said Jasper warning him.
"Mmmmmmmm! Chicken..." said Homer drooling.
...
Bart's storyline which perpetually takes place at night in an old swimming pool with bikes discarded nearby.
Bart winced at the sexist graffiti on the inside walls of the empty pool. Ie Death before women in swimming costumes. Misogynists and proud! Etc.
"Guys you could have got in touch with me during the day while I was dressed..." Bart blushed wearing his green pyjamas.
"No because we're a secret society or some crap..." said Jimbo.
Then Kearney found Wendell and Martin dressed in scouts uniforms and presumably the bullies beat them up.
"Okay those two dweebs are asking for smashed teeth dressing like that... but picking on people feels rather crummy..." said Bart.
The bullies laughed.
Bart sighed.
Elsewhere Abe decided to teach Homer a lesson about being mean to old people as usual... decided to make him into an old man.
Homer screamed. "Aaaaaaagh! I'm old!" He had wrinkles, false earlobes and was hunchbacked.
He found he couldn't eat solid food and needed heart medication all the time...
He also called Marge Gal.
"Don't call me gal! Only old people say that!" Marge said annoyed. "Abe I'm not sure this is teaching Homer a lesson.
"Oh it will." said Abe.
"Oh! My back! Why are my joints hurting?!" Old Homer whined.
"That's arthritis." said Jasper.
...
Meanwhile Bart somehow got home safely I imagine his family were worried sick but his story is self contained away from their story so he never interacts with them.
At night he is sleeping when a rock comes in through his window. He gets up and reads the note on it. He must sneak out tonight as Jimbo etc were waiting outside for him on their bikes.
Bart got out of bed and winced, Oh why did I wear those jammies tonight... he groaned to himself as he was wearing teal feetie pyjamas with Krusty faces on them.
"Bart come on!" Jimbo called down to him.
Bart sighed and shimmied down the drain pipe. Once he was stood on his front lawn. The bullies laughed at him because of his pyjamas.
"Yeah... get it out of your systems..." Bart groaned.
(The bullies laughing)
Bart sighed.
This time they went on their bikes to the spooky forest outside the abandoned death row prison.
"Why are we here?" Bart asked.
"A little bully training. You need roughing up." said Jimbo.
"Okay... You do know I'm not entirely comfortable with the whole bullying thing." said Bart.
"Silence newbie! Now listen well. For every time you answer back or refuse to follow training you'll get pushed in that mud puddle." Jimbo addressed the mud puddle near Bart. "Like so." He pushed Bart and he stumbled and splash! Fell on his butt into the mud and it splattered everywhere.
The bullies laughed.
Bart sighed.
Next they had kidnapped Ralph somehow.
"Now whale on this baby." said Jimbo.
"I can't hurt Ralph. Not because I feel sorry for him. I don't. It's because his dad's a cop..." said Bart.
Jimbo pointed to the mud puddle.
Bart sighed and tapped Ralph gently with his fist.
Ralph bursted into tears and cried.
The bullies laughed.
Bart felt sorry for him.
Plot 3
Meanwhile in the canon episode of the same name which in my fanon is called BartMan returns. Homer took up boxing, faced Drederick Tatum. An expy of Mike Tyson but he never tried to bite his ear off. Mmmmm Iron Mike's hilarious cannibalism...
Bart winced.
Elsewhere in canon this is the episode The Winter of his Content. So cue Shakespeare's Richard the III. Ie another play were the villainous protagonist murders everyone in succession of coronation to have the throne so he can be king. Ie like Macbeth and Claudius...
"Yeah, there's a theme in his plays somewhere..." said Hugo reading Shakespeare.
Oh and Ian Mckellen as Kimg Richard III but in the 1930s and 40s...
"You shall not pass! To succession of the British crown." said Richard III of York as his evil assassin goons killed his brother. Where are they getting these goons? Oh and he made a You shall not pass gag.
Then Robert Downey Jr aka Iron Man was in it! He dies a freaky death where someone stabs him through his mattress while he was shagging a lady. It still freaks me out like Glen's death in Nightmare on Elm Street.
And Percy is in it!
"Oh god no!" Blackadder yelled.
Hugo winced. "That's why I prefer the Lawrence Olivier version. So you can't be silly about it..."
Oscar pouted.
"There's a Romeo and Juliet stein modern day America with Leonardo Di Caprio..." Bart smirked.
Oscar gasped delighted.
"No!" Hugo yelled.
...
At the spooky forest outside the abandoned Morning Wood Penitentiary. Hehehe! Morning wood...
Bart finished some sort of dare from the bullies. Probably to eat something disgusting.
Jimbo laughed that they got Bart to do that. They being all the bullies.
"Okay Simpson. Now laugh at the name of that penitentiary. You know old Morning Wood?" said Jimbo pointing to the old death row prison.
"Uh why? Is it funny?" Bart asked.
"Of course it's funny! You have no sense of humour!" Oscar snapped.
"Oz not everyone shares your sense of humour..." Bart groaned.
"Push him in the mud Jimbo..." said Oscar.
Jimbo did so while the other bullies laughed at the Morning Wood penitentiary.
"Haw Haw! Morning Wood..." Nelson chuckled tearfully.
Bart rolled his eyes.
"What do you see in Bart..." Kearney sighed reading a fantasy novel.
"He stood up for me in gym. He came to my birthday party when no one else would..." said Nelson.
Jimbo let Oscar chose the next task for Bart.
" I have left a Butterfinger bar deep in those spooky woods. You must retrieve it." said Oscar.
Bart didn't like the look of the woods they looked spooky. "But it's creepy in there!
(Jimbo makes chicken squawks and flaps his arms)
Bart frowned and went in.
"Oh and watch out for my usual demented stuff like trees that grab you, animals forcing you to wear diapers, cartoon squirrels with big wet shiny black noses... quicksand... slime monsters..." said Oscar.
"Get bent!" Bart yelled as he went into the spooky forest.
...
Abe and his friends babysat while Homer and Marge went out for chicken dinner. Mmmmmm! Chicken...
"Well, thanks for the chicken dinner. How did you know I wanted one?" Marge asked him.
(chuckles) "All you gals like chicken dinners, Marge." Homer chuckled.
"Don't call me a gal. Makes me feel like I'm your mother." said Marge annoyed.
"I gave my love a chickeeeeeen, it had no bones... Mmmmmm! Chicken..." Homer sang beautifully then moaned hungrily about chicken.
"Mmmmm chicken..."
Marge sighed.
...
In the spooky forest.
Incidental music for the scary mood played and owls hooted and bats flow about.
Bart was scared and trembled about in his muddy pyjamas.
"Gee this place gives me the creeps..." he stammered.
Suddenly wooden branches with hands on the end grabbed him and hoisted him up into the air.
"What the?"
He yelped as an evil sentient tree with evil looking eyes and a leering grin picked him up.
He was passed between trees yelling until a tree with some large knot holes pinned him to its trunk. Green sap oozed out of the knot holes engulfing his feet and hands. Bart winced in disgust, the tree's arms released him because the gooey tree sap was holding him in place. Bart grunted and struggled but the sap was gooey so he was stuck.
"Oh crud..." He grunted as he squirmed.
Mr Burns's Booger man from Treehouse of Horror 2. A slime monster arrived and tore off Bart's feetie pyjamas and put a diaper on him and taped it up.
Oz is so dead... he scowled. Suddenly grey cartoon squirrels with big wet shiny black noses scuttled down from the highest branches in the tree he was stuck to and they started sniffing his diaper with their big wet shiny black noses. Bart winced and felt like he was gonna pee.
Elsewhere at the Simpsons house.
James Bouvier sighed as he remembered his great uncle Peter. He was fond of him for his get quick rich schemes, something Peter inherited from his uncle Charlemagne.
Meanwhile Homer continued to pretend to be an old man, ranting about today's youth etc.
"In my day..." he started.
"Homer your days were my days! We're the same age! Now stop acting Old..." said Marge.
...
Elsewhere in spooky forest.
Bart wearing a diaper grunted as he was stuck to a tree with gooey were tree sap. Cartoon squirrels with big wet shiny black noses sniffed him. He winced and peed his diaper.
Then a big wet shiny black nosed squirrel crawled up to his face and smooshed his big wet shiny black nose into his nose. Bart grimaced in disgust. The squirrels tore the goo sticking him to the tree and took him up into the branches of the tree.
Then the cartoon squirrels were sniffing Bart's diaper with their big wet shiny black noses.
"Dude, what are you doing?!" Jimbo asked Oscar.
"Having fun..." Oscar grinned.
"Oz no weird stuff..." Kearney winced.
Oscar sighed and brought Bart back. Dressed in his muddy feetie pyjamas.
"I am not even wasting my time yelling at you Oz... just go home and stop goofing off..." Bart sighed.
Hank seethed.
...
The next day.
"Feh! The music of today..." said Homer still wearing make up to look old and hunching over.
"Homer enough! We get it! The old can be annoying... sometimes..." said Marge.
"Well this certainly has backfired on us..." Lisa sighed hoping being old would teach Dad a lesson.
"Yeah well dad no one cares about your stupid old dinosaur bands!" Bart yelled.
"Do not insult dinosaurs! They're cool!" Oscar snapped.
"Bart. You mind explaining how your pyjamas got muddy during the night?!" Marge frowned at Bart.
"No he will not Marge because he's B story is separate from yours!" said Matt Groening. "I'm doing a The Warriors reference!"
Marge winced.
Later that day Bart watched cartoons.
Itchy and Scratchy was on. The episode was called Downton Tabby. A spoof of Downton Abbey.
The mice who are "Downstairs." Is the servants and scullery maids kill the toffs "Upstairs." One of the nice decapitates Scratchy or another cat. Etc.
Bart laughed.
...
Night. Bart had Milhouse over for a sleep over.
(owl hooting)
"Shut up Hedwig!" Oscar yelled throwing a rock.
Diggs frowned. He was in bed with Oscar for some reason.
(cell phone chimes) Bart got a Tweet on Twitter.
"Whoa. A tweet from Chester!" Bart gasped.
"Who's Chester?" Milhouse asked.
"Chester from Fairly Odd Parents..." said Oscar.
"No Oz..." Bart sighed.
"Chesterfield Snapdragon McFisticuffs." said Oscar.
"No Oz! Tch... now where was I..." Bart whined.
""Who's Chester"?" Bart said incredulously. Like a sassy popular girl. "Just the most legendary bully of all. They say he once wedgied a kid in half."
"Whoa." said Milhouse.
"Cooool!" said Oscar. "Wait, your golem you stole off of Krusty wedgied Skinner in half..."
"Oz stop referencing non canon things..." Bart groaned.
He got out again and met up with Nelson, Jimbo, Dolph and Kearney.
"He's calling a bully summit for next Saturday night." said Dolph.
"Hey, isn't that the same night the U.S. figure skating finals are on?" asked Jimbo. "They've been promoting it like hell!"
"Excuse us, we're looking for owls." said Martin dressed as a Boy Scout bothering the bullies again.
"Screech or hoot?" Jimbo asked.
"Either one's fine." said Martin.
"That was an order!" Jimbo yelled.
(hooting) "Screech! Screech!" Martin and Wendell act like owls...
Saturday morning.
"Where's the Lord of the Fries?" Bart asked of Homer.
"No! I am not resurrecting that saga again! We're doing a The Warriors reference!" said Oscar.
Bart winced.
Homer came in with the mail and magazines.
"Mmmmmmm... Mail..." he moaned looking at the magazines.
"Mmmmmmm... Male..." Oscar moaned aroused.
"Oz no!" Bart groaned.
Marge explained Homer as an old man did odd things.
"Your father got up early to count his pills. Called the police because a frisbee landed in the backyard and went to the drug store for ice cream..."
"Daaaad... you go to Apu's for ice cream... or Phineas Q Butterfat's ice cream parlour." Bart sighed.
...
Saturday night.
Bart got out again and met his on and off bully friends he is on good terms with this episode.
Then there was The Warriors music and a black lady on a microphone.
"All you boppers going to the park tonight, make sure you're not packin'. We don't want any... "accidents."" said Deejay, a black lady.
"Ay, caramba." said Bart as he met up with Jimbo, Dolph and Kearney.
"How'd you babies get here? Did your mommy bring you?" Jimbo asked.
"Yes." said Nelson getting out of his mom's car.
"Nelson! I might have to move the trailer house while you're gone. Look for me downhill. I ain't got much gas." said Mrs Muntz. "Smell you later."
Yellow and Black Weasel arrived.
"Hey, my old weasels! How's Shelbyville Elementary?" Nelson asked.
"Not bad, not bad." said yellow weasel.
"We've ruined picture day three years in a row." said black weasel. (both grunt)
...
Then as the bullies gathered. Funny bully gangs arrived.
"The Blinky Sneaks". Rough fifth graders with sweatbands in their hair.
"The Krusty's Kids." Clowns...
"Clooooooooooowwwns!" Oscar yelled with joy.
Billy from Grim adventures screamed. "Aaaaaagh! Destroy us all!"
"Oz no!" Bart groaned.
Oscar chuckled.
"The Purple Nurples." Boys with purple faces and Heavy metal style outfits.
"The Scary Potters." Harry Potter cosplayers...
Oscar screamed with laughter.
"Oz don't. They're still bullies..." said Bart.
"What do they do? Make us read Harry Potter fanfiction?! Gahahahaha!" Oscar laughed.
"Oz has a point. Everyone whale on those Potter dorks!" said Jimbo.
All the bullies beat the crap out of the Scary Potters.
"The Baseball Furries." said Deejay as as sports mascots arrived.
"Eeeew... furries..." Shauna groaned.
Hank seethed.
"Look! The Capitol City Goofball Jr!" said Bart.
A kid was dressed as an orange Goofball was with the Capitol City Goofball.
"He's a bully?!" Oscar asked.
"Jr is." Dolph explained.
Plot 4
The bullies were chatting and handing in their weapons. Bart didn't hand in Betsy the slingshot. This causes trouble later.
Then a long haired bully wearing black is established as the villain. He is called Wilbur.
Eventully the Bullies are called by Deejay to sit because Chester arrived. Strangely Chester despite his violent reputation was a slim Huggy Bear look a like black kid in a red checkered trench coat and Pimp hat.
"Oz what were you expecting?" Bart asked.
"A huge steroid fuelled brute, like Bane from Batman." said Oscar.
"Hmmm... you have a point Oz.' Bart agreed with him. "But Chester's that swinging homie in the red checkered trench coat and black."
However in Tapped out canon Chester has a thing for grave robbing...
Bart winced.
Then the leader of the Nurples, Wilbur shot Chester with Bart's slingshot.
"Some one shot Chester!"
"It was this dink! His slingshot is still warm! And his friend wearing women's underwear helped!" said Wilbur.
"How does everyone know that?!" Nelson yelled.
"Get them!" said a bully.
The bullies chased Bart, Nelson, Jimbo, Dolph, Kearney, Oscar and the weasels.
"Bart why did you shoot Chester..." Nelson frowned.
"I didn't! That Wilbur kid must have got a hold of my slingshot!" said Bart.
"You were supposed to hand it in before you went in..." Kearney sighed.
"But I feel naked without it..." said Bart.
"I get it Bart. I feel naked with out my earring." said Dolph.
Then they were intercepted by the SAT prepper nerds.
They were steroid furled muscle bound nerds though.
Jimbo punched one out.
"I wasn't finished boasting! (Roaring gibberish as he pours pencils over himself.)" said a black nerd.
Then they were intercepted at the subway by Lester, Shelby, Spud, Jessica and some Shelbyville boys.
"Oh great... these guys hate me already..." said Bart.
Back at the stadium some bullies revived Chester.
"Chester are you okay?" A big bully asked.
"Yeah my head hurts though. Man that smarts." said Chester a swinging pimp bully dressed like Cat from Red Dwarf.
Meanwhile the rest of the episode is just The Warriors.
In The Warriors, there was a girl gang called the Lizzies. They were lead by Sigourney Weaver.
However in Simpsons canon they are lead by Bart's sister, Lisa. As you can imagine...
"I am the lizard queen!" said drunk Lisa.
"Oh great Lisa's drunk again..." Bart winced.
Along the way after escaping the Lizzies, Kearney lost his sandal.
"My sandal!" Kearney whined.
"Kearney we're being chased by angry bullies..." said Dolph as they ran.
...
The bullies took the subway train to a beach.
"I think we lost them." said Bart.
"Bart look!" said Jimbo.
Wilbur arrived with three bottles on his fingers.
"It's Wilbur of the purple Nurples! And he has bottles!" said Dolph.
"I assume that's a threatening gesture. He wants a fight." said Bart.
"We'll he's gonna get one..." said Nelson.
Then Homer arrived pretending to be old and the story never got resolved. Um I think Homer scared Wilbur and he ran off home.
"Well that was anticlimactic..." said Bart.
"Yeah but your bully adventures continue in a the Lord of the Fries style saga since you asked..." said Oscar.
Bart and his bullies will be back in Jurassic Bully Island...
The end.
