The Call of the Simpsons I adapted the canon one into [Naturepants]. Instead this episode is a loose adaptation of The Call of the Wild where Uncle Buck Tamaki and Santa's Little Helper were kidnapped and put on a dog sled team in Alaska and Some guy called Jack London's Book gets remade over 9000 times with increasingly ridiculous film stars.

Plot

The chalkboard gag is Matt Groening writing "I will stop killing off characters." Yeah sure. We'll see...

The couch gag is the Simpsons in a sports crowd where they hold up panels to make a giant picture. In this case Homer's face. However Homer's tile is upside down. He yells "D'oh!"

...

In Santa Clara Valley, California in the 1890s.

It is the height of the Klondike gold rush. Sled dogs were popular and needed to drag the newly mined gold ore about.

"Klondike gold rush? I thought we were transporting Klondike bars? What would you do for a Klondike?" Oscar's ancestor of 1890s asked being silly as he mined gold.

"Oz no!" Abraham Simpson I groaned. Not Grampa Simpson. His namesake. Eliza's half brother via Virgil impregnating her mother after she helped him escape slavery.

"I like the sled doggies." said Oscar's ancestor um Oscar as he shovels gold ore into a minecart.

Abe sighed.

A Homer like Miner found some gold.

"Oh gold!" He found some glimmering gold nuggets.

"Um no Shamus. That's Iron Pyrite. Fools gold..." Eliza Simpson in a pink dress sighed as she was able to determine the glimmering nuggets were just nuggets of fools gold or Iron Pyrite.

"D'oh!" Shamus groaned.

"Who's the bit of skirt?" Oscar asked Abe.

"My half sister Eliza." said Abe mining for gold. Remember? You kept being weird age regressing me with your fancy stick and putting diapers on me and summoning slime monsters to um goop her." said Abe.

"The correct verb is To slime. And she asked for it dressing in such girly pink clothes..." said Oscar mining.

A man was mining when he exposed a new chamber in the dark, gloomy mines lit only by lamps.

"Hey a cave! Get some buttresses built!" said the man. Men fetched wood and nails etc.

"Wait!" said Milford. There was a monstrous hiss and a green tall creature with four short stubby feet scuttled out from the darkness.

"Oh great... a creeper..." Abe groaned.

"Aloha Snackbar!" The creeper screamed and it exploded. causing a cave in. That new chamber was now closed off by rubble.

"Oz no! That is in bad taste!" Bart in the present groaned.

Oscar laughed.

Back in the 19th century.

"I count myself fortunate that my mother left that yellow-bellied cur Hiram and married my father Virgil." said Abraham.

"Well you're free but this is the nineteenth century so people are still gonna call you the N slur." said Oscar's ancestor.

Abraham frowned at him.

"Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold!

Bright and yellow, hard and cold." Oscar's ancestor sang.

"Papa, you ain't forgetting the horse." said a kid to their father. People spoke that way back then.

Oscar was still singing.

His singing can strip wallpaper from the walls.

"Hey! My singing is awesome! I sing on key!" Oscar's ancestor yelled.

"Yeah sure..." said Abe.

...

The story opens proper in 1897 with Buck, a powerful 140-pound St. Bernard-Scotch mix, the pet of the town Judge Miller.

"Case Adjourned!" said Judge Miller played by Judge Roy Snyder. He tapped his gavel on his coffee table.

"Roy you're not in court now..." said his wife.

Judge Snyder sighed.

However Oscar warped from the gold mine to his house to fuck up the story basically.

"No! The story opens proper in 1897 with Buck Tamaki, a lanky 190 pound weed smoker who probably attended St Bernard's or some other dorky Christian Saint boys school where the pupils were stupid hats as part of the uniform. Like Dudley Dursley's straw hat. The upperclass snooty twat! Oh and he's half Scot I suppose." So a lanky 190 pound weed smoking St. Bernard's alumni Scot mix...

Buck of the 1890s was smoking weed.

"Get back to work!" His boss Judge Miller yelled.

Abe working in the gold mine winced exasperated.

Meanwhile in Skagway, Alaska.

An Alaskan Inuit man called Jack Thorton, no wait John Thornton! No wait! Jack! Definitely Jack! Or John? Had an identity crisis where he can't remember his name and in one adaptation he is a Bill Hale from Montana. Has just come back from the gold mines of Alaska. Should be a Fox's Glacier Mints mine!

"Oz enough!" Bart in the present yelled.

To announce he was very lucky in the mines today gathering gold. Or Fox's Glacier Mints. (Oz! Enough!) he announced this in the local tavern. The bar keeper of whom this establishment belonged to was too busy dealing with a brat prank calling him.

"Emma Royd? Emma Royd? Hey everybody! Anyone have an Emma Royd?!" The barkeep asked. (Haemorrhoid)

"No!" said Eskimo Barney and everyone laughed.

The Barkeep realised this was a fake name and scowled.

"Listen here you brat! If I ever find out who you are I'll!" He made a violent threat down the phone. The anonymous caller. Tut Simpson all the way in California laughed hysterically and put the phone down.

"Guys please! I have struck lucky at the gold mine today!" said Jack or John or Bill. No you struck lucky at the Fox's Glacier Mints mine! "All beers on me!"

"Hooray!" His friends cheered.

However the bar flies had to deal with Jack/John/Billy's weird shape shifting as he also took the form of different celebrities because this book got remade more times than A Star is Born. Or Lord of the Rings.

Jack suddenly morphed and became Clark Gable. "Frankly my dear. I don't give a damn." said Clark Gable then a million women fainted. Either because he swore. Damn was swearing back then. Or because he was extremely handsome.

"Um okay..." said a Bart look alike Alaskan Inuit.

Then Jack/John morphed into Charlton Heston and was being harassed by upright ape people from the future wearing clothes.

"Get your stinking paws off me! You damn dirty apes!" Charlton yelled fighting with the talking ape people.

"Oz no! I don't care if Charlton was in one of the reboots! No flippin' Planet of the Apes!" Bart in the present groaned.

"Boy, you did your research..." said Homer.

Charlton was then screaming about Soylent Green being made of people while everyone was confused. Yeah that's why you shouldn't be allowed to remake a book so many times... Heavens knows what Harry Potter will be like in a hundred years when the copyright expires...

...

Meanwhile in Montana. Hannah Montana that is...

"Oz I swear if you don't stop ad-libbing..." Bart growled.

The Director of the 2009 version decided to set the story entirely in Montana... and Jack is now Bill..

In a garage in Montana where I know exactly where we are going with this! In a garage working on a Delorean with extras like booster jets and gadgets and wires etc Doc Brown Emmet was building a time travelling Delorean!

"Right that's it!" Bart strangled Oscar.

"Bart! Let go of him!" Marge yelled.

In the story.

"Great Scott! Marty! We must time travel to the 1890s so I can marry a woman called Clara and have kids!" said Doc Brown Emmet.

"Um Doc, aren't you a bit old to be chasing skirt..." asked Marty.

Anyway he's Jack in this version or Judge Miller so he owns Buck or ends up with him after the kidnapper kidnaps him. Sad,y there's no time travelling Deloreans...

Back at home.

Oscar was reading a hardcore hentai manga with tentacle monsters. He showed one of the more explicit pages to Hugo.

"Could you please not contaminate my eyes with your filth?" Hugo yelled.

"Oscar! I don't want you reading those sort of mangas!" Marge yelled.

Hank seethed.

Back in Santa Clara in the nineteenth century.

A lady was using a rake indoors to rake the carpet...

"Oh look at her!" Oscar was talking in silly voices. He was trying to sound like Michael Palin in falsetto doing an old lady voice.

Bart seethed.

And there was a mammoth wearing roller skates.

"Oz no!" Bart yelled.

"I don't care for westerns... can't we read Artemis Fowl?" Hugo asked.

"CHICKEN GODDESS?!" Oscar yelled.

Bart growled frustrated.

"No it's a series of fantasy novels..." said Hugo flustered.

"Well..." said Oscar.

"You'd like it. It has mud people in it." said Hugo. They're not cartoon mud monsters though...

"And..." Oscar asked.

"Artemis is a mud person. And one of the characters calls him Mud Boy!" said Hugo. OMG!

"Yaaaaaaay! Mud Boy!" Oscar cheered.

Bart winced.

And so Hugo starts reading part of an Artemis Fowl novel.

"That's right, Mud Boy. Play time's over." said Holly.

Mud Boy seethed.

"Play not over! Bad Boss Monster!" Mud Boy yelled.

"No! We are not sitting through that! Oz get back to reading The Call of the Wild..." said Bart.

...

Bart in the present was frustrated and angry.

Oscar laughed and continued his nonsensical retelling of The Call of The Wild.

Back in the bar in Alaska. Charlton Heston Jack/John morphed into Harrison Ford!

"I struck lucky alright! At an archaeological dig!" said Indiana Jones. He found an artefact that the Nazis or Soviets or grave robbers steal then it turns out the artefact has magic or divine godly powers and kills them horribly! Also Harrison Ford suddenly had a hairy dog man alien, or a Wookiee with him!

Chewie growled.

Bart was head butting the dry wall.

"Bart stop that!" Homer yelled.

"Oz are these cameos necessary..." Lisa winced.

"Yes..." said Oscar.

Then someone framed Harrison Ford for murder and Agent K would not leave him alone.

"I'm innocent!" Harrison Ford yelled.

"I don't care." said Agent K.

Then Harrison Ford was on an plane suddenly and dealing with some thug or the bad guy.

"Get off my plane!" He yelled.

"But Dr Jones! It's temple of Doom and we have a rubber dinghy!" said Short-round.

Bart groaned frustrated.

"Indy..." Willie cried.

"I am the best god damn pilot you'll ever meet!" Harrison Ford yelled.

Then Harrison was chased by a boulder...

"He was in clear and present danger..." said Oscar chuckling.

Bart seethed.

Then he ran up to people shaking them and yelling "Where's my family?! I want my family back!"

"Okay Oz that's getting ridiculous! We get it! He's been in lots of movies..." Homer sighed.

"Anyway back in Alaska..." said Oscar.

"Speaking of the North, why is it snowing indoors? And why is the snowflakes yellow?" Lisa winced.

Homer's knees were shedding as he scratched his legs.

"Ugh! Homer your shedding again..." Marge sighed.

"Eeeeeew!" Oscar groaned.

Alaska.

Jack or John London was helping bring in his fortunate find of Glacier Mints form the Alaskan mints mine while the Harrison Ford version of him went off to find the golden idol...

"Who builds a tavern in somewhere so cold?! Oh yeah my ex lover Marion..." said Harrison Ford as Jack.

..

The present. Lisa let's herself in.

"I just got in from Allison's. What's happening.

"Oscar is messing up The Call of the Wild..." Bart groaned.

"Where's my dog Short-Round?!" Indiana Jones yelled.

Lisa face palmed.

"Also Homer Simpson from Day of the Locust was there!" Oscar yelled.

Homer screamed.

Plot 2

Back in California Judge Miller's gardener Manuel. From Fawlty Towers!

"Oz no!" Bart yelled.

"Oz seriously..." Lisa groaned.

"But Meeser Miller! I is in debt from cards! I no speak good English! Si?"

Bart face palmed.

"Oz cut that out..." Even Lisa was getting annoyed.

Judge Miller winced at the fourth wall, he's basically Jack/John with his identical gambling problem from the movie reboots...

When Judge Miller had gone off to bed. Manuel the Hispanic gardener found Buck Tamaki smoking weed in the garden. He kidnapped the man who is also a dog but Oscar wanted his uncle to be the main character for some fucked up reason so he's a weed smoking dog man who is half Scottish and attended St Bernard's school. A dorky Saint school.

"Gawrsh! Ozzy! Help Meh!" Buck yelled. He went Gawrsh like Goofy.

"No! Leave my strangely canine uncle alone!" Oscar yelled.

Bart winced.

According to the official source. Wikipedia. Buck the dog or Buck, Oscar's uncle. Was shipped to Seattle.

"Seattle! Gahahahaha!" Homer laughed tearfully.

Oscar smirked.

"Dad stop encouraging him..." Bart growled.

"Bart that's in the book." said Lisa.

Buck was caged and starved and mistreated along the way.

In Seattle he attacked or bit and I quote this from Wikipedia... The man in the red sweater.

"Oh shoot! He attacked Mr Rogers!" Oscar screamed.

"Why you stupid little!" Bart strangled him.

Marge face palmed.

Then Emma Royd was being a pain in the ass...

"That is not funny!" Bart yelled.

Oscar laughed.

...

Elsewhere in the gold mine of California.

The boss of the gold mine. Probably Abe Simpson rang the bell and gave everyone a break outside.

The men suffering from darkness sickness. It's a thing where you never see sunlight all day. And they threw up. Oscar's ancestor was being stupid claiming he was a vampire now having grown used to near darkness.

Abe groaned.

he tried to set the stupid man straight with small talk.

"California is great right Oz?" Abe asked as they rested outside the mine.

"Yeah sure. Especially ever since The Eagles opened a hotel here and wrote a song about it." said Oscar.

we cut to a hotel ran by the band The Eagles. They are singing Hotel California.

"Oz stop making Family Guy cutaways about things that don't exist yet!" Abe yelled.

Abe sighed and tried to continue the story about Buck.

Mr Rogers scolded Buck for his violent behaviour and taught him obedience and put him on a dog team of huskies.

"You ingrate!" said Mr Rogers.

Obviously that's just weird in Oscar's version with Mr Rogers and Buck Tamaki. So instead he put Buck, weed smoking uncle on his puppet team to operate the lame puppets because he reads young children stories and has celebrity guests.

Eventually Buck is sold to to two French Canadians who will be portrayed by Bart's one of arch enemies Caesar and Ugoline. The wine makers who made antifreeze wine.

Bart gulped.

While on the dog sled team or grape stomping team. Uncle Buck has similar situation as Bart in the Crepes of Wrath where someone or a creature like that stupid donkey picked on him or took his bed.

"Hey! The donkey sleeps on the straw now!" Cêsar yelled.

However Buck Tamaki when high or coming down from weed doesn't take shit from anyone and he attacked and killed some guy called Spitz for being a jerk to him.

"Sacré Bleu!" Caesar and Ugoline yelled and they sold Buck to the first person who'd have him warning he was violent maniac.

Elsewhere at the Californian gold mine. Break was finished. It was now time to pan for gold in the nearby river.

The men got out pans to sift the river water and soil for gold nuggets. Smaller ones than what would be mined.

Later at Abe's house.

Abe and Oscar had to deal with Abe's um kids. Tut and Lou and the only daughter were ordinary. But Abe's son Gaston was a boy dressed as a clown acting like Gaston from Beauty and the Beast.

"No oooooone! Tells jokes like Gaston! Throws a pie like Gaston! No one is incredibly funny like Gaston!" he sang. " For there's no man in town half as merry, a pure carry on!"

Oscar winced exasperated.

Abe sighed embarrassed.

That wasn't all. Abe's son Hugo at the time acted like his eventual scion Hugo II. He was wearing rags and growling as he walked about on all fours like a dog or Gollum while eating fish heads from a bucket.

Abe sighed exasperated.

"You better not lock him away..." Oscar frowned at Abe.

Hugo II laughed.

Eliza visited with her husband Milford and their son Kirkedemious. For some odd reason Matt supports LisaXMilhouse ships.

Lisa rolled her eyes.

"You can't fight fate Lisa..." Milhouse smirked.

...

Elsewhere.

Christopher Lloyd aka Doc Brown arrived in 1897 Santa Clara.

No you're supposed to be in Texas to find Clara!

Also in the shape of more time travelling Claras was Clara from Doctor Who!

Bart winced.

Meanwhile Cesar and Ugoline travel with their dogs/man slaves from Yukon where they encounter Yvon of the Yukon. (Oz no!- Bart groaned) then headed to Skagway where they encountered Jack/John, the protagonist of the movies transforming into various actors because of the remakes. They were contacted by the Canadian French and sold their dogs to a Scotch half breed mail worker. Groundskeeper Willie as a postman!

Bart winced.

Willie used the dogs/men to pull his sleigh to deliver letters. While running the trail, Buck seems to have memories of a canine ancestor who has a short-legged "hairy man" companion. I don't care what drugs you took Jack! You can't have hairy beast men in your story!

Bart face palmed.

"It's a genetic memory of his ancestors and primitive humans..." Lisa sighed.

Beast man from Masters of the Universe was in the story for some god forsaken reason.

Then Wille said something Scottish probably about how apparently the Scottish hated everyone even other Scots. Then he sold the dogs or men to three idiots who know nothing about surviving in the wilderness with a dog sled team and did idiotic things like drop supplies because they were weighing them down and only carrying fashion items ie clothes for Mercedes. As such they probably starved.

Then the main character of the films Jack/John morphed into Clark Gable, Charlton Heston then Harrison Ford while scolding the three inexperienced travellers and warned them not to cross the frozen river.

They wouldn't listen and Hal whipped Buck for refusing to cross the river. So Jack morphed into Harrison Ford and punched him and took Buck Tamaki. They watched as the three idiots crossed the frozen river, the ice collapsed under them and they drowned with the remaining dogs.

Oscar's uncle Buck liked Jack for some reason despite him constantly morphing into different actors. They stayed together.

Then a malicious man called Burton punched Jack so Uncle Buck Tamaki ripped out his throat. That just sounds hilarious knowing a human did that instead of a dog.

"Okay Unky. That was just savage..." Oscar winced at his uncle.

Uncle Buck Tamaki smiled sheepishly.

...

At Abe's And Gabby's house.

"No one's slick as Gaston

No one's wit is quick as Gaston

No one's incredibly thick as Gaston

For there's no boy in town half as funny

Perfect, a pure carry on!

You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley

And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on

No one's been like Gaston

A king pin like Gaston

No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston

As a comedian, yes, I'm intimidating

My, what a guy, that Gaston!" Gaston Simpson sang.

Abe Winced exasperated.

Hugo growled and ate fish heads. He was plotting to sew himself to one of his siblings.

Abe sighed and had a donut. The kind his dad Virgil invented to appease Hiram.

Elsewhere the canon episode which I called Nature pants is about the Simpsons buying an RV. Because Homer is jealous. He can only afford a cheap tacky rust bucket. (Ben why are you looking at me like that?) He drives it off a cliff and the Simpsons live in the woods for a while and Homer falls in the mud and gets mistaken for Bigfoot...

"They didn't get me any apple sauce..." Homer groaned.

Bart winced.

Meanwhile in the Harrison Ford adaptation Karen Gillan from Doctor Who guest starred!

"Oh crap..." Bart groaned.

"Bart!" Marge scolded him for cursing.

Bart went out.

"Hey Bart! I found a bunch of rancid coleslaw in the dumpster behind Krusty Burger." said Kearney.

"Yeah I know. I saw some of the Clownjas I dumped in Krusty's dumpsters eating it..." said Oscar.

Bart winced. "Oz stop abandoning your pet clown things in the bins... it's cruel..." said Bart.

"Wanna hurl some rancid coleslaw At Skinner's house?" Kearney asked.

"Sure!" said Bart.

Oscar winced and watched the angry Clownjas in the dumpsters hissing.

Lisa went out to find Bart.

"Milhouse, have you seen Bart?" Lisa asked Milhouse.

"How about we discuss it over a glass of wine? Or coffee? Or a Cosmopolitan?" Milhouse asked. Um...

"We're eight. We don't drink any of those things." said Lisa.

"What are you talking about?!" Oscar asked while drinking beer he got from somewhere.

"Oz! You're only nine! You can't drink alcohol or coffee yet!" Lisa whined.

"I'll drink what I want! You're not the boss of me!" Oscar retorted annoyed.

Lisa sighed exasperated in him.

"Help! Puppy Goo-Goo is gone! He's my best-est stuffed animal, and he's gone!" Milhouse cried unable to find Puppy Goo Goo.

"No offence Milhouse but you seem to lose Puppy Goo Goo a lot." Lisa stated.

"No offence Milhouse but your Puppy Goo Goo is sometimes you're pet dog isn't he?" Oscar asked.

"Yeah. Just like your living teddy bear creature Teddy." said Milhouse.

Oscar had Teddy nesting on his head. Teddy was sniffing and smelling with his big wet shiny black nose.

And so Lisa, Milhouse and Oscar went look for Bart and Puppy Goo Goo. It makes sense since the main story is bout some guy's dog being stolen.

Elsewhere in 1897, Judge Miller sacked Manuel for stealing his dog.

"Oh no no no! Please don't send me back to Meesar Fawlty! Please!" Manuel cried.

Bart throwing expired coleslaw At Skinner's house winced exasperated.

"What is going on?" Kerney asked baffled.

"Oz is doing a weird adaptation of The Call of the Wild..." said Bart hurling pots of rancid coleslaw At Skinner's house.

"Mother. According to the latest state test, the students at this school are too stupid to even cross the street." said Skinner to his mother as coleslaw splattered against the house.

"I don't care! Seymour what is that splatting sound?!" Agnes asked.

"Good Lord!" Skinner gasped. Some hooligans are tossing expired coleslaw at the house!" Skinner gasped.

Then they mooned him.

"Good Lord!"

"I wanna see!" said Agnes.

"No mother!" said Skinner.

Agnes screams in horror at something.

"Mother!" Skinner is concerned.

...

At the Simpsons.

"Okay since Bart and Lisa so rudely left during my retelling of The Call of the Wild..." Oscar seethed.

Everyone else rain off to their rooms or Moe's etc.

Oscar sighed.

Plot 3

At the Simpsons Homer was reading the same newspaper article as Skinner.

"According to the latest state test, the students at this school are too stupid to even cross the street." said Homer. "That's just sad..."

"And also completely not true!" said Oscar holding his teddy bear. "Everyone at school can cross the road just fine. Except me... and that's not because I'm dumb. I can't help it that I have no road sense!"

Marge comforter Oscar. "One day you'll learn dear..."

"That's true! Homer who published that article..." Marge agreed with Oscar that the article was poppycock.

"Oz you're supposed to be out looking for Bart and Milhouse's stuffed toy dog that's sometimes alive..." said Homer.

"I couldn't cross a road so I went back home..." said Oscar.

Meanwhile Lisa found Puppy Goo Goo. In the bushes and Bart at Skinner's hurling expired coleslaw at the house.

"Oh great it's ms Tattle tale..." Bart groaned at Kearney.

"Bart I'm not here to tattle on you..." said Lisa.

"Then why are you here?" Bart asked.

"Well first I had to find Milhouse's a Puppy Goo Goo and secondly you do remember you're having a sleepover at Cleatus's because you loooooove Mary... (kissy sounds)" said Lisa teasing Bart.

Bart blushed and Kearney was laughing.

"Yeah, I know." said Bart.

At Cleatus's.

"Well, we're all set for tonight, fellas. Pa said we can bunk in the barn as long as we don't wake the chickens." said Dubya Spuckler.

"The barn?" Oscar asked.

"Yup." said Dubya.

"Cool!" said Oscar.

"You guys do realise I only agreed to this sleep over because I am in love with Mary..." said Bart.

Mary was putting the chickens in their hutches. Bart made bedroom eyes at her.

Dubya winced. Mary was supposed to Mary one of her uncles. Ugh! Yokels...

...

In The Call of the wild Jack/John got killed by Indians, the red kind.

"Native Americans!" Lisa frowned.

In the Harrison Ford adaptation he got killed by Hal who survived drowning so they made him the villain.

Buck then killed Hal by ripping out his throat.

"That's just savage Unky..." said Oscar.

Then he chased off the Indians. Then he lived in the wilderness with wolves before emergency services found him and took him back home to Oscar.

Elsewhere in Santa Clara during Abe's time.

"One thing about living in Santa Clara I never could stomach." said an old man drinking moonshine or something. "All the damn vampires!"

Ace, Oscar's vampire friend hissed and bared his fangs.

Hugo II winced exasperated.

At Cleatus's.

"Gee Bart, you seem to enjoy that goat milk." said Incest Spuckler.

Bart looked like he was gonna puke. "Um... well it seems the country life has grown on me."

"I has something growing on me..." said Cleatus. Eeeeeeew!

"Bart you're only here to make goo goo eyes at Mary..." Dubya frowned.

"And...?" said Bart.

"Yes Dubya. And? Barty is my spike haired sweetheart." said Mary.

"Mary he broke your heart..." said Dubya.

Yeah well we got back together after he saw me change my Facebook status."

In the canon ending of Love is a Many Splintered thing. Bart was sad Mary married the Hispanic guitar player kid. However one afternoon while checking Mary's Facebook. Her status changed from married to Widowed. And her photo to her wearing that black Audrey Hepburn outfit she wore in New York.

"Oz! What did you do?!" Bart yelled at Oz that day in season 24.

"Hey she's single again!" said Oscar.

Bart glared at Oscar.

...

The present at Cleatus's.

"So Mary, we're still boyfriend and girlfriend?" Bart asked.

"I reckon. You can't shake me that easily. Now, come on! This party ain't over yet. You can't leave without a big ol' farm breakfast." said Mary. Um it's morning now?

Bart sighed in love. Despite the old him kept going on about girls having cooties.

"Dubya wondered how soon before Bart breaks her heart again.

"I read your mind with my telepathy Dubya. The answer to that question is when there's a new GTA or Shoot em up out..." said Oscar.

Bart growled annoyed at Oscar.

Incest wondered why Dad held his tongue about this outbreeding. Because I want Bart X Mary ship!

Oscar was pulling goofy faces and ham boning badly to mock the Spucklers.

"Now cut that out!" Born in Disney World Spuckler aka International Harvester Spuckler said sharply.

"You sure burned his biscuits." said a Spuckler kid.

"You're gonna make biscuits?! You're gonna make biscuits?! You're gonna make biscuiiiiiiits..." Oscar quoted GIR.

"No Oz! I never ever wanna hear you mention biscuits ever again!" Bart yelled.

Oscar gasped offended.

"I like you, Bart. We could be tighter than bark on a tree!" Mary sighed.

"Trees taste ruff! Arf!" Oscar made a joke about tree bark and dogs barking.

Ace winced. He was sleeping over too.

Milhouse wouldn't come because he was paranoid about the cars from Cars eating him...

"Doggone it Oz! Texan and Southern accents do not use the same lingo!" Incest groaned.

"Sure they do! Except Yeehaw that's a Texan thing. But you both vote for hardline Republicans." said Oscar.

"Only because the Dixie-crats went extinct..." said Incest.

"Well I just think everyone won't let Bart date a southern belle!" Oscar changed the subject ranting at the fan base.

"Southern Belles! Woo! I mean! Ha! Ya! Ha! Yip!" said Young Link before slipping back into gibberish. He sighed thinking about Malon.

"Will you stop changing the subject! You're befuddling me!" Incest groaned.

...