For those guests who had come from out of town to visit on behalf of Harmonia's birthday, Hercules would ordinarily have been glad to keep them at the house. But there was too much raw emotion coursing through him, and after another brief parade of his daughter around to see her friends and relatives, he crept back upstairs with her to rejoin Megara.
She deserved her rest. He would've kept Harmonia away for a while longer, but he knew mother and daughter were as needy for one another as he was for them.
When he opened their door, he found Megara curled up on her side with a scroll unfurled by her head. Even in her sleep, she cradled their unborn twins in one hand while the other still held the edge of the scroll she'd been reading. She didn't find it easy to relax anymore. She'd once been the only person so laid back that he could relax around her. But now? Perhaps she didn't want to leave her mind quiet enough to hear her worries speak to her.
He tiptoed closer to her, took the scroll from her, and settled Harmonia back into her arms. For a moment, the thought flashed through his mind that she was so lucky she could hold all three of their children at the same time.
Harmonia's chunky legs rested on her brothers; he should've been so proud.
There was still a shadow hanging over their family. The heartbreaking sweetness of this moment would stand out in his mind for thousands of years. He'd never let it go, especially if it were one of his last truly happy memories.
Hercules crawled into bed with them. He didn't want to wake Megara, so he was incredibly slow as he settled in behind her and curled his body around hers. He wrapped her in both arms, encircling Harmonia along with her.
For a while, Hercules tried to sleep. He wanted to share this moment with all of them, even sink into a dream with them as he had with Megara and Harmonia when Hades menaced them before. But he couldn't. He felt eyes on him and opened his own to meet Harmonia's wide violet gaze.
How much could she comprehend of what he was feeling?
Hercules smiled at his daughter.
She blinked back at him as if her wisdom reached deeper than even he knew. The sight of those eyes, wide and innocent but the same color as her mother's narrow, calculating ones, overcame him with a heady mixture of emotions.
Those violet eyes were gorgeous on his wife and daughter, but he'd always hoped to preserve Harmonia's innocence. How could he do that if her mother died when she was so young?
Shuddering sobs ran through him while he held his family–his entire mortal, vulnerable family– in his arms.
His eyes squeezed shut to contain his emotions, but it was when he opened them again and found Harmonia staring at him that the sobbing quit. A fresh sob halted in his throat.
Harmonia's eyes remained fixed on his face as if concentrating hard. Harmonia seemed to banish his tears in an astonishing feat of concentrated empathy before he realized he'd stopped crying. What kind of power was this? It seemed more like the power of a goddess than a demigoddess. How much of his divine ichor had she absorbed when he rescued Megara from bleeding out before Harmonia was born? He'd infused them both with enough blood to keep them alive, but there had been unexpected benefits before.
Harmonia was small then, or at least smaller than she was now… How much would his aura have altered her? She could be more than half Olympian now, perhaps three-quarters or more!
Hercules reached across Megara's body and caressed his daughter's soft, ginger curls. What could give that extra push to full immortality? If he could push Harmonia into godhood, how much further would he have to push Megara? If he could test it on Harmonia, the two of them may have a better chance than ever of concinving Megara to join them…
The unwelcome thought arrived casually in his mind, and he was now doing more bycontemplating how to immortalize his daughter than his father ever had for him. The thought sat cold in his guts, but he wouldn't focus on it. His father was a failure many times, but he wasn't the only one.
"I'll keep you safe," he whispered into Megara's ear but Harmonia's eyes as he rubbed the child's back. "I'll keep all of us together."
He felt as if Moni had become his co-conspirator, and the two of them would work together on Megara's behalf.
Or, his fear was driving him insane.
It could equally be either of those.
"You'll help me, right, Moni?" he asked, stroking her back.
Harmonia cooed back at him. He thought he recognized a slightly sardonic tone to the noises she made.
It made him laugh to think that Harmonia had absorbed that tone from her mother.
He had such a connection to his daughter that he started to feel guilty that he hadn't taken this long to bond with his sons. He kept one hand at Harmonia's back, but the other hesitantly traced the edges of Megara's belly.
The boys were moving in there. He was sure he felt a head and feet right next to each other since the feet that kicked at his hand made smaller lumps appear than the thick crest of a head. Realizing how close he was to his twins made him grin. He'd missed out on this. All he'd thought of for a while had been how possible it might be that he lost Megara because of them. It wasn't their fault, even if it was feasible. He ought to have learned how to separate that fear from his love for them sooner.
"I'm here now," he whispered, finishing his own thought aloud. "I'm sorry I took this long."
"What're you talking about?" Megara croaked at him without opening her eyes.
"Oh, I…" Hercules coughed in embarrassment. "I told our sons I should've been closer to them sooner. I hope it's not too late."
"Trust me, they get plenty of contact with you, Herc. Any time I do, you're right here with them."
"It's not the same as how I felt about Moni…"
"That's because you knew what'd happen with Moni." Megara yawned and cuddled the little one close to her chest.
"I know there are two options with these two," Hercules said. "Instead of thinking how excited I will be when I meet them, I keep thinking of how you're in danger because I gave them to you."
"I'm in danger whenever I leave bed every day," Megara noted. "That's no surprise, hon."
"Please don't say things like that…"
"Okay, I won't intentionally bring up anything that bothers you like that. But you have to be patient with me. I usually say what's on my mind."
"That's fair…" he said hesitantly. "Anyway… I won't withhold my affection from the boys anymore. While we've still got time, I will cuddle all three of you even more."
"What do you mean?" Megara whispered.
"I mean… before you give birth…" Hercules smiled uneasily, but Megara was too smart for that weak attempt to work on her.
"You know more than you're telling me," Megara accused.
"Yes. While you were asleep, I consulted with Cassandra. She saw your future. You became a goddess in her vision!" He widened his smile, hopint to trick her into thinking all was well.
"Herc…" she whispered.
"Really! It's great, Meg! Cassandra said that's the future she saw! You'll be my goddess forever." He pressed a lingering kiss to the side of her throat and made her shudder.
"You haven't been as touchy with me this round," Megara noted. "It'd be a waste if you backed off, and then we were separated."
"We won't be separated!" Hercules insisted.
"All right, shh…" Megara soothed while rubbing herself against him. "Herc. I'm making conversation, not accusations."
"I'm still about to apologize: I'm sorry. I was thinking of the problems and not the opportunities we have now that we'll have two sons. It'll be wonderful to have both of them with us and not have to wait a year in between."
"That's not what I heard from my nursemaid about handling my brother and I."
"Oh, I'll bet that was just because the two of you were so isolated and bored. Harmonia and her brothers will never have to go through the sorts of experiences that shaped your wit… But I hope she'll be smart and no-nonsense the way you are. I've never known how to navigate complicated social situations, but I think with the empathy she has, she needs to learn those skills."
"I'd teach both of you, but you might be a lost cause."
"Hey! I'm doing better! I've learned from you!" he protested, but even as he did, he smiled. It was almost like the banter they used to have. He couldn't help but smile from his delight at having even a sliver of that back.
"I'm glad to see your mood improving," Megara said.
"I've decided that as a family, we'll start looking forward to life when all four of us are immortal."
Megara raised a brow at him but didn't comment. He'd protested against negative comments that she held back, but that didn't change how her eyes visibly held herself back.
"We'll all be safe and healthy together when the twins are born," Hercules said firmly. "You'll be radiant and on your way to deification. Moni's powers are already so close to immortal that she'll probably break records for how soon she can become a goddess. We'll get the boys to learn the nature of True Heroism. Then we'll all be together forever!"
Exhaustion showed through Megara's smile. "They're going to need you." That simple statement was enough to shatter him.
Hercules's heart clenched and revolted against the hint of her cutting herself out of the picture. "They need both of us," he countered.
In the silence Megara allowed to fall between them, Hercules could all but hear what she was thinking. They might need us both, but we don't know if they'll have us.
"Meg," Hercules said in a low, serious voice that he hoped would lodge itself in the darkest parts of her mind and light up her mind. "Do not cut yourself down before you've got the chance to rise. You've got to give yourself–all of us!- a chance. When you're my divine bride, my goddess, all our problems will be solved! I'm going to see you glow just like me soon. I swear it to you."
"Herc, I don't need—"
"I need you!" Hercules turned her head to face him, firmly holding onto her hair as he did. "You can't leave me like this, Meg! You can't leave me with all of them! We're all getting through this together!" He was so fired up at the moment that he wasn't as aware or in control as he could've been. He pulled her close for a fierce kiss and groaned with the intensity of his passion.
When he pulled back, Megara's eyes were foggy. She paused a moment to get her bearings, and her brow rose. "Really? Right now?"
"What?" Hercules asked from the center of his own needful delirium.
"You can't seriously be that excited at a time like this."
"I'm a fighter, Meg, and I'll fight for you in every way I can."
Megara slowly and with great effort worked to flip herself over to face him. Hercules helped her before the effort could take too much from her. They settled Harmonia in the valley between them. "For most of my life, I've been a survivor. I have been so focused on how I'll get out of scrapes without asking for help. But now I'm more worried about how well I can fit into this family."
"This family is built around you," Hercules stressed to her, his eyes wide, showing how important it was for her to recognize that.
"I know, but it's not more about me than you."
"Maybe, but that doesn't mean I can do this without you."
Despite his best efforts to suppress all thoughts of the half chance Megara would die forever and leave him with their children, tears burned at the corners of his eyes.
Megara reached up to wipe them. "Herc, Moni feels everything."
Hercules bent his head to press his brow against Megara's and Harmonia's at once. "I know… Right now, she's probably feeling how afraid I am to lose you."
"We've got to stop forcing that sort of thing on her. It's going to be difficult enough for her to get through every day with the low level of unease, but–"
"Meg. I love how considerate you are of our baby, and I'm so grateful that you've got the strength to hold it together for her, but I've got something better than fear to focus on. Both of us need to latch onto the future where you become a goddess from here on out."
"Herc, that's hubris, and it goes poorly for girls like me."
"It's not hubris when I pull you along with me. You're obeying a god, not defying one."
"Obeying?" she repeated. "Since when has that been a priority for you?"
"It's not…" Hercules made a slight, frustrated noise in his throat. "But I've got to think that there's some kind of cosmic law that says if we're going to make you a goddess, it has to be because it's my willpower pulling you along. You're probably right about your own ambition bringing you down– you're always right. I've figured that out by now. So the solution will be that you're not doing this for yourself; you're doing this because I, an Olympian, have instructed you to do it so you can always be with me."
"That doesn't sound like you at all."
"Giving up doesn't sound like you. Maybe both of us should change, huh?"
Megara sighed, closing her eyes to think. "You're going to push me to apotheosis by your own willpower, huh?" She opened her eyes with a faint smile. "I may not believe in myself, but I believe in you."
"Really?" Hercules's heart leaped into his throat.
"You know… it hasn't happened in so long that I had to read about it in some dusty old scroll Cass brought by." She nodded to the scroll he'd moved out of her sleeping hand. "When a mortal has… well, what we've had with a god, that god is compelled to grant one wish for that mortal."
Hercules raised both brows. "That would be a lot of wishes for you, hon."
She smirked back up at him, and despite how exhausted she'd been, she looked like her old self. "Well, we could start with one."
"Yes?" Hercules's ears burned with the need to hear her ask to become immortal.
"I request that you make Moni a goddess."
Hercules's heart stopped and clenched as he stared at her. "No," he gasped in dread.
"No? But you have to! I asked, and you said I could have anything! Don't you want Moni to be a goddess?"
"Of course I do! But she's still a baby. She needs to live her life before then. You're the one I'm worried about. You're in imminent danger!"
"I have been in imminent danger since before I was born, Herc. That's nothing new. But now I have a vulnerable little girl who will become the next target, assuming I survive. Hades won't be happy with one of us. He'll try to take your whole family from you. I can't take care of myself as much anymore, but I'm still safer than Moni. She's almost a full goddess, so it won't be as difficult to justify to the other gods. Maybe she could even take over the domain of the first Harmonia since she's too busy as a snake to handle the domain anymore."
Hercules gulped hard, his mind whirring. Her logic was infallible, but he hadn't been worried about Harmonia. Now, he wondered if he hadn't been selfish by forgetting his daughter's needs.
Harmonia began blustering with pouting irritation. It was clear that even if she didn't understand the conversation her parents were having, it was getting on her nerves.
"I'm sorry, little goddess, I'll be good," Hercules promised.
"She's already the goddess of keeping us in line," Megara noted, kissing the baby's plump cheek.
"Yeah… maybe it'll be good to give her powers so you'll agree to be my goddess next time you've got the chance. Between the two of us, you'll have to give in."
He'd leaned in close to both of them, and Harmonia's small hands went under both her parent's chins and pushed them closer together.
Hercules only needed the merest encouragement to kiss Megara again, and this time, he poured his aura into her to try to spark a change in her. She moaned for him but remained heartbreakingly mortal. When he pulled back, his eyes were full of unshed tears, and his heart clenched painfully in his chest. "My goddess wife is so gorgeous, and I have the best goddess daughter."
"We gotta keep her around," Megara agreed. She kept her voice light, but Hercules knew what she was saying.
He let it drop, watching Megara kiss their baby's face and make her giggle. Everything she did proved more and more that they needed to be together forever. Maybe this hadn't gone as he thought it would, but he couldn't deny he loved how selfless and unpredictable she was. It was more proof to him that she needed to be a goddess, but he would bide his time for now. Soon, he knew, he'd find another opportunity.
