Mirabel couldn't help the strange feelings she had as they worked on the play. The way her heart leapt when Gladys smiled shyly at her, or stepped close to her. She jumped every time Gladys took her hand, or linked her arm through Mirabel's like Lady Dorinda and her husband. She felt happy just being with her friend, but there was always an empty, unsatisfied ache. She knew what she wanted, but like before, she was too proud to admit it. Too proud to admit she had such silly, weak feelings. At least, until one day in the music room.
"Mirabel, what's wrong?" Gladys asked, her eyes filled with concern as she took Mirabel's hand. Mirabel jumped the way she always did. "I can tell something's bothering you. Is it your parents, or Harry or Joan again?"
"It's not them," Mirabel insisted, glancing away. Well, at least that was the truth. "Don't worry about me. Focus on the play." Mirabel always felt flattered that Gladys was confident enough to practice in front of her. She knew she wasn't nearly as skilled at acting, even if she had been cast as Lady Dorinda's husband. In fact, none of them were as much as Gladys, even the supposed actress. But being on stage with Gladys made her feel confident.
Gladys obliged her, but Mirabel could tell she was still concerned. Thankfully, Gladys soon seemed to forget as she got lost in the performance. Mirabel couldn't stop staring at her as she acted, gesturing with her hands and throwing her head back. Gone was the frail, timid mouse, and in her place was somebody else. Somebody that seemed an awful lot like Mirabel herself. At first, Mirabel wondered if she was acting as Lady Dorinda's husband as she sometimes did, but then she realized she was acting as Mirabel herself.
"Of course I'm going," Gladys said in a voice that didn't sound at all like hers. "I never go back on what I've said."
Mirabel jumped as she realized they were things she had said. Gladys was imitating her after all! But she didn't do it in the mocking way that wicked Doris or sharp-tongued Janet used to when they made fun of her, but in a way so genuine and passionate that she could've really been Mirabel.
"Gladys!" Mirabel exclaimed. "What on earth are you on about?"
Gladys went silent immediately, shrinking back. "I… I'm sorry, Mirabel," she apologized, staring sheepishly at Mirabel. "I… I forgot you were there for a moment. I often do when I'm acting."
"Do you often act as me?" Mirabel asked. She wasn't offended as she would be if anyone else had, more amused and even impressed. And, though she wouldn't admit it, just a little flattered.
"I'm sorry," Gladys repeated, going back to the timid mouse. "If I remembered you were watching me, I never would've done it. I wasn't trying to mock you, really I wasn't."
"Gladys, old thing, I know you weren't," Mirabel insisted, almost pleased to see how Gladys viewed her. It was a nice reminder of when she was bold and cocksure, without any of the strange, weak feelings she felt now. "It's almost impressive. Could you imitate Carlotta or Alison? I'm sure you'd do a wonderful job as them. It would be most hilarious to laugh at."
"Oh, no. I couldn't," Gladys insisted. "I'm not Doris, you know. Acting is different from imitating. I can only act as you since, well, you're my best friend, and I know you so well…"
"If you can act as me so well, surely you could do the same thing in front of the other girls?" Mirabel suggested. "That would give them such a shock. I'm sure they'd be impressed."
"I couldn't do that!" Gladys exclaimed. "It's daunting enough for me to be the lead in the play. I wouldn't have even done it in front of you if I knew you were there. Anyway, I feel like rather a fraud, what I'm doing. I know I'm not anything like you. I'm not nearly as strong, or bold, or confident. I'm just faking what you do all the time without thinking. I know that I'm just a timid, weak creature in reality."
"I don't think you really are, if you can act like that," Mirabel insisted. "If you can act so well, surely you could be anyone you wanted to? I think you're awfully silly, pretending to be weak when you're not. I would never choose to be so weak if I couldn't be."
A strange expression crossed Gladys's face, and Mirabel winced, realizing she had said the wrong thing again. But instead of flaring up at her, Gladys just stared at Mirabel, without even glaring at her. Then she turned and hurried out of the music room.
Mirabel stared after her. She had made things worse with her tongue, like she always did. She was tempted to run after her and apologize, but she couldn't bring herself to do that. Instead, she sat at the music stool and began to play, like she always did to clear her mind. The sweet, melodic notes filled the air as Mirabel's thoughts filled her mind.
It's a wonder Gladys is friends with me, she thought. She's so quiet and gentle, and I'm so loud and blunt. Even with her, my closest friend. I've just upset her again, like I did before. It's really no wonder I don't have any other close friends. I can barely believe Gladys is willing to be friends with me, let alone anything more.
Mirabel's fingers pressed harder over the keys as she played louder, becoming more frantic. All she could think about what how beautiful Gladys looked in the dress Lady Dorinda wore, and the way her face heated up when she stepped closer to her. She was beautiful even when she was acting as someone like Mirabel. Her face flushed as she closed her eyes, the music faltering for just a moment. Yes, she did want to be more than friends. She could at least admit that to herself, even if Gladys didn't feel the same way.
But what if she does? Mirabel thought hopefully. If she knows me well enough to act as me so well, perhaps she'd like to do other things with me as well. I suppose I'll never know unless I ask her. But I simply can't do that. I'm too proud to admit to anyone that I have feelings for them. Gosh, I suppose Gladys was right in what she said to me before half term. Pride is a flaw of mine.
But was pride the only thing stopping her? Mirabel wondered. No, it wasn't just that. She had at least been able to admit it to herself, which was better than to no one at all. There was also the fear of rejection. Mirabel hated to be called a coward, and even Gladys did. She remembered the way Gladys had reacted when she had accused her of the same thing. She was surprised that the timid little mouse could ever yell at her, but she had, more than once. If the timid little Gladys was brave enough to stand up to her, Mirabel, then why should she be afraid to?
I'm a coward! Mirabel told herself, pressing her fingers over the keys. Even more of a coward than Gladys. No, she isn't a coward at all. She had the courage to stand up to me.
The sweet music had been replaced by loud, bombastic tunes, the same way Gladys's acting had gone from gentle and timid to loud and aggressive, just like Mirabel herself had been. And then, Gladys had stood up to her, reminding her that if she really was strong, she would change her mind.
"Don't let your pride stand in the way of your happiness." That was what Gladys had told her when she wanted to leave. And now, Mirabel found herself remembering those words.
Gladys is right, Mirabel decided. I won't let my pride take over. I'll confront her, the same way she confronted me.
Mirabel wondered if this was how Gladys had felt when she confronted her. Somehow, the idea of confronting her friend seemed even more difficult than confronting Miss Theobald. Her face flushed and her hands shook just thinking about it, and she pulled away every time Gladys came near. She felt like a dreadful coward, especially when Gladys stared at her with hurt eyes. She had probably been even more scared when she tackled Mirabel about leaving at half term, being the timid mouse that she was. But she had still done it.
That thought comforted Mirabel slightly, even though she still hesitated. She couldn't stop thinking that Gladys's gentle, concerned stare would change to anger or disgust. But to her surprise, it was Gladys who pulled her aside and asked her what she was thinking.
"Mirabel, what's wrong?" Gladys asked. "You've barely spoken to me. You… you aren't still cross with me, are you?"
"No, of course not," Mirabel assured, feeling like even more of a coward. She hadn't even had the courage to bring up the incident. "I thought you'd be cross with me, for what I said. I always seem to say the wrong things. It's no wonder you got so annoyed with me."
"Oh, I wasn't, Mirabel!" Gladys assured. "I know you were probably right, like you were about my mother. But I can't help being weak, you know."
"You aren't weak," Mirabel assured. "You couldn't be, the way you stood up to me when I was being obstinate. It's better to be weak than bull-headed like me."
"I suppose you can't help that either," Gladys laughed. "But you are kinder than I thought. I was expecting you to blow up at me when you realized I was acting as you, but you didn't."
"I'm glad you did," Mirabel insisted honestly. "You did a great job. I… I didn't know you paid so much attention to my mannerisms."
"Of course I did," Gladys smiled. "How could I not? You are my friend. My best friend."
Mirabel smiled back, but she felt a strange ache inside her. She opened her mouth to get the words out, but they died on her tongue. "How about you and I go into town together?" she said instead. "It'll be a pleasant break from working on the school play."
A strange, almost disappointed look crossed Gladys's face. She smiled, but it looked slightly forced. "Yes, of course. It'll be a nice opportunity."
Mirabel was disappointed that she hadn't been able to get the words out, but at the same time pleased with the idea. It would give her time to get her thoughts together, and they'd be completely alone.
"Gladys, there's… there's something I need to tell you," Mirabel confessed once they were alone inside a teashop. "The reason I was avoiding you. It wasn't just that. It wasn't anything you did, really. It… it was me. How I felt…"
Gladys stared intently at her, and Mirabel found herself going silently. She could feel her face heating up under her friend's earnest gaze, the familiar uneasy sensation in her stomach fluttering up. She felt even weaker than Gladys had ever been. A meek, lovestruck girl. She was too proud to feel such foolish things, but she was too proud to be a coward even more.
"Gladys, I… I believe I love you," Mirabel admitted.
As soon as the words were out, she closed her eyes, not being able to see Gladys's reaction. There was utter silence, and the teashop seemed completely empty aside from her and Gladys. She couldn't bring herself to open her eyes.
Mirabel jumped as she felt Gladys's hand over hers. She opened her eyes, staring into her friend's face. To her relief, she didn't look angry or disgusted in the slightest. When she spoke, her voice was gentle.
"What was that, Mirabel?" Mirabel's heart sank upon hearing those words. "I didn't hear you. Could you speak louder?"
Mirabel felt a strange mixture of relief and disappointment. She realized she had been mumbling the words under her breath, barely audible even to herself. "It's…" She trailed off. She couldn't say it was nothing. It was definitely something. But at the same time, she couldn't say what it was. She lowered her head, her cheeks burning.
Gladys laughed. "Goodness, I thought mumbling and being timid like that was my job. First I acted as you, and now you're acting like me. I suppose we're even now."
Mirabel raised her head, surprised by the gently teasing words. "Yes, I suppose we are," she agreed, a smile quirking her lips. "But it's better to act as ourselves, isn't it? I mean, that's why I like you. And it's why you like me, right?"
"Of course it is," Gladys agreed, squeezing Mirabel's hand. "I wouldn't ask you to be any different, old thing."
Mirabel shuddered at the touch. "Gladys, can I ask you something?"
"What's that?" Gladys asked, almost eagerly. "Is it what you were going to tell me?"
"Well… sort of," Mirabel admitted. "Don't you remember when you talked me out of leaving? I'm glad you did. I wouldn't have been able to see you anymore if I had went home."
Gladys stared at her in surprise. "Why, Mirabel, I do remember."
"I'm surprised you had the courage to tackle me," Mirabel admitted. "I didn't know you had it in you. How did you do it?"
Gladys was silent for a moment, and Mirabel worried she had said the wrong thing again. But then she said, "I didn't know I had it in me, either. Actually, it was Hilary's idea. She was the one who gave me an idea of what to say, and suggested I tell you if I really was your friend. I was hesitant at first, but then I realized I really did want you as a friend, and I couldn't let you leave me… I mean, the school." She blushed as she said the last words.
"Oh," Mirabel muttered. She had suspected it hadn't entirely been Gladys's idea. "But it must've been awfully daunting for you to confront me like that."
"It was," Gladys agreed. "I kept thinking about backing out at the last moment. I kept worrying you'd bite my head off. And you did, at first."
Mirabel winced. "But you pressed on even after I snapped at you."
"I was about to back away, but then I remembered how much I wanted you as a friend," Gladys admitted. "You were my only real friend here, you know. The only one who saw me as more than the misery girl." Mirabel couldn't help smiling, only to stop as she heard Gladys's next words. "But after you stormed off, I thought I had ruined everything, and you wouldn't even be friends with me before you left. I am glad you changed your mind."
Mirabel was comforted by her words, realizing how nerve-wracking it had been for Gladys. She had been afraid of losing Mirabel's friendship, like Mirabel was now, but she still pressed on. Mirabel couldn't help thinking that Gladys might want to be more than friends if she had tried so hard to overcome her fears for her. She smiled, not realizing why she had been so terrified. Even if Gladys didn't return her feelings, she was much too kind and gentle to be angry or disgusted with Mirabel. She had been silly to even think it.
"Well, Gladys, now I have something to tell you as well," Mirabel confessed.
"Yes? What is it?" Gladys peered at Mirabel.
Mirabel stared back at her, focusing on the concerned gaze in her eyes. She raised her voice and spoke in as sincere of a tone as she could muster, trying her hardest not to mumble. "I… I love you."
Gladys blinked in surprise, but didn't look nearly as shocked as Mirabel had expected. Instead, she looked almost relieved. Her voice sounded loud in the small shop, and she couldn't help glancing around worriedly. Thankfully, nobody else seemed to have noticed.
Mirabel glanced back at Gladys as the other girl gripped her hand. She smiled warmly at Mirabel, her entire meek face lighting up in a way she had only seen a few times before. But her next words shocked Mirabel even more. "I know," Gladys said.
"What?" Mirabel exclaimed. That was the last thing she had expected to hear.
"I know you do," Gladys repeated. "Well, maybe that's a little much. I had my suspicions, at least. I told you I'd been watching you carefully, remember? I noticed the way you acted around me, the times you looked away and stared when you thought I wasn't looking."
Mirabel gaped in shock. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. All those times Gladys had asked her what was wrong, she had suspected the entire time. She was lost for words, but Gladys continued.
"When the idea first came to me, I thought I was being ridiculous," Gladys admitted. "There was no way somebody like you could ever like somebody like me. But the more I observed you, the more I thought it might be true. And when you said you had something to tell me…" She trailed off. "Well, I tried not to get my hopes up. I kept expecting to be disappointed, but…"
"Disappointed?" Mirabel demanded. She couldn't wrap her head around everything Gladys was telling her, but she focused on the last part. "Why would you be disappointed?"
Gladys blushed. "I… I think we should be leaving. We've already paid for tea, haven't we?"
Mirabel gratefully followed Gladys out of the shop, her mind spinning. She couldn't believe what she had heard. But now that she thought about it, she began to realize how similar Gladys had been acting around her. She remembered the way her friend blushed and glanced away when Mirabel stared at her, or how she jumped when Mirabel took her arm. Mirabel had been too wrapped up in her own self-centered feelings to notice. Clearly, she wasn't as attentive as Gladys. But why had she been watching Mirabel so carefully, and why had she been acting the same way she had? It couldn't possibly mean what Mirabel thought it did, could it?
"That was why I got the idea about how you felt about me," Gladys admitted while walking beside Mirabel. "Because you acted the same way I did around you, but you didn't seem to notice that about me." Mirabel glanced away sheepishly. "I thought it was just wishful thinking at first, and I was angry at myself. Just because I felt that way about you, doesn't mean you returned my feelings." Gladys smiled at Mirabel. "But now, I realize I was right."
Mirabel's head was spinning, her ears ringing with an overpowering rushing sound. She couldn't see anyone but Gladys right next to her, or hear anything but the incredible words she had spoken. She could feel her stomach fluttering again, but this time with excitement. She found herself overcome with elation and relief. "Gladys, I… I don't know what to say."
"You've already said enough," Gladys smiled, linking her arm through Mirabel's. "I'm just glad my feelings were returned."
"Me too," Mirabel agreed weakly, resting her head on Gladys's shoulder. "I'm just glad it wasn't as much of a surprise for you as it was for me."
"Oh, it was still a surprise," Gladys assured. "I was more surprised that you had the nerve to tell me. I thought that even if, by the slightest chance, you did feel that way about me, you'd keep it inside your head. You'd be too proud to admit you felt that way about anyone."
"That's what I thought at first," Mirabel admitted. "But, like before, you convinced me otherwise. You were right. I shouldn't let my pride stand in the way of my happiness."
"And I shouldn't let my weakness stand in the way of mine," Gladys agreed. "I probably never would've told you. I'd be too afraid of ruining what we had. I was waiting for you to say something. It's a good thing you did."
"Oh, I'm sure you would've been able to eventually," Mirabel insisted, interlinking her fingers through Gladys's. "Like you did before. It's because of you I stayed here, remember?"
"And I'm glad you did," Gladys beamed. "It's because of you I had the confidence to act in the play."
"It's because of you I was, too," Mirabel admitted. "I wouldn't be as eager to be in the play if anyone other than you was cast as Lady Dorinda." Gladys smiled at her, her face flushing.
They were silent on the walk back to school, Mirabel's head still spinning as she clung tightly to Gladys. She didn't doubt the sincerity of her words, but there was still a lingering uncertainty in her mind. Before she could reconsider, Mirabel leaned forward and kissed Gladys. Gladys jumped in surprise, but didn't pull away. She reciprocated with such eagerness that Mirabel was taken aback. When she pulled away, Gladys stared back at her with shining eyes and flushed cheeks.
"I suppose we were cast perfectly in the play, weren't we?" Gladys asked.
Mirabel laughed. "Yes, I suppose we were. What would the other girls say if they saw us?"
"It'll be much easier to act from now on," Gladys smiled, resting her head on Mirabel's shoulder. "You being on stage with me makes it all worth it. Even I wouldn't be as eager to be in the play either if it wasn't for you."
Mirabel was surprised to hear this, but couldn't help smiling. She knew she'd be jealous if anyone else took over. She couldn't imagine them doing such things with Gladys anymore. She thought about how she had gotten over her pride for the second time because of Gladys, the same way Gladys had gotten over her weakness.
Maybe Pauline and Anne-Marie will come up later, like how other sins are often mentioned in the chapters. Mirabel/Gladys seems to be the most popular pairing. It's strange writing for such obscure books, but I like referencing scenes and details. The name Mirabel makes me think of Encanto. It's such a unique name that it's rare to come across a character from an old book with the same one.
