AU: Jack arrives home with news of his day... Samantha is not impressed.
A/N: Be prepared for some heavy sexual content in this chapter. If you choose not to read this section, please note the OoOoOoOo at the start and the end. After the second marker is lighter without as much detail, though you will not miss any story content if you choose to stop reading at the first marker.
Chapter 10: "Please... don't shut me out."
Thursday, 11th March 2004 – O'Neill Household – Samantha O'Neill
Sitting at the dining table tapping my fingers in a state of half anger, half concern while Gracie played with her unicorn ponies on the floor. It was almost 1846 hours which was well past when Jack said he would be home. He had taken his motorcycle into base so that I could use the truck to ferry Grace around. It was easier than my little sporty coupe. He was a careful rider – much more careful than me – but I couldn't shake the feeling that something terrible had happened.
Pausing from her horse play, "Mummy, I'm hungry." Grace announced. We normally ate dinner these days at 1830 hours, though that would change when Jack started going back on missions.
"OK. Sweetheart. Put your ponies away and get ready for dinner." I replied with a smile then stood up to retrieve her special bowl and cutlery.
"OK Mummy!" Came the reply as she bounced up with all the energy and exuberance of an almost 4-year-old and galloped down the hallway talking to her ponies with a healthy dose of neighing and whickering sounds.
Tonight was an easy meal of chicken carbonara – a favourite of both Grace and Jack. I guessed it was the extra creaminess and all the cheese that went into it. Though I put in a lot more cheese than the recipe called for. A fact that my hips were reminding me of every time I made it.
The sound of a key in the door had me rushing from the kitchen through the dining and out to greet my husband, my heart beating to the rhythm of the galloping sounds Grace had been making. Even him just walking into the room was enough. I loved him so much that when I wasn't near him, I felt it keenly.
"Jack!" I said excitedly, almost jumping out of my skin. It had been too long since I had felt his arms around me, which was sad because that had been only this morning. Before he had a chance to close the door, I had wrapped myself around him.
"Hey. Sorry I'm late." He apologised, his arms coming around me instantly while he kicked the door shut and buried his face into my hair taking a deep breath. He was shaking and holding me so tight I thought he'd crack my ribs.
"Jack?" I tried to get him to let go a little. Instead, he pulled back and dipped his head tasting my lips, his hand going into my hair while the other one continued to hold me tight. His kiss was hard and demanding, turning my legs to water. Almost as if he were drowning and I was the oxygen he needed to survive. Something had gone wrong at work. Not just a little wrong, a lot wrong. He hadn't been so clingy since… my heart rate picked up. Pulling my head back, I put my hands on his face to stop him from hiding. His eyes were full of sadness and terror, apology, and pain.
"Jack, baby. What's happened?" I asked using a pet name I hadn't ever used with this version of Jack. Whatever it was, it was bad enough for him act like this was the last time he would see us. It terrified me.
"Daddy!" Grace cried happily, then ran up to her father and folded herself around his leg. He buried his face back into my neck.
"I'll tell you later." He murmured. I could feel him shaking with effort of holding back something. Something he didn't want Grace to know about. She was so intuitive that most of the time, all she needed to do was touch a person and she would know something was wrong. I figured it was the gene she inherited from Jack.
He had taken up meditation with Teal'c and was learning how to get in touch with his inner self. Teal'c had imparted the knowledge he had learned from another Jaffa he referred to as Shau'nac who used to communicate with her symbiote. Jack had used that knowledge to learn how to mask the vibrations exuded by the Ancient gene since Grace had been able to pick up every little thing the moment she touched him.
"Can we eat now, Mummy?" Grace asked with an enthusiastic toe bounce that would mirror Jack's if not for the extra exuberance.
"Sounds like a great idea." Jack replied, then he let me go and hoisted Grace up and perched her on his hip. All trace of the turmoil I knew he carried was masked under his carefully constructed façade.
"Ah, yeah. OK. I'll just…" I swallowed and turned to go back to the kitchen.
"Sam." I turned back to look at him. "Everything's fine." He lied before looking at Grace with his signature smile. I turned to walk into the kitchen to serve dinner. "What did you do today, Munchkin?" Jack asked as he followed carrying our daughter.
"The big school people came today! They telled us about the big school and the cool stuff we can do there. Did you know they have a huge playground?" She asked him with wide eyes stretching her hands out as wide as I had seen my Jack do when he talked about the fish he'd caught.
"Yes, I did! Cassie used to play there, and there was this one time that I met a young girl who didn't know how to play." He explained to our daughter who looked incredulously at him.
"She didn't know how to play! Did you teach her?" She was exasperated that such a thing existed. I remembered Merrin from my reality. Jack had risked demotion to give her a day as a child. It was one of the last things he did before Apophis showed up. By the sounds of it, he'd done the same thing here, though without the impending invasion.
"She painted this for me, and this one as well." Jack showed two small pictures that adorned his fridge, one of a perfect red and yellow flower and another with stick figures that looked more like what a child would paint.
"Wow! Pretty!"
Busying myself around the kitchen, I noted that Jack had collected three sets of cutlery and given them to Grace then three plates – including Grace's special set – before walking back out to the dining room. We frequently served up our food at the table rather than in the kitchen as it taught Grace good table manners such as waiting for others to serve themselves before she started eating.
Despite the animate talking between Jack and Grace – an act I knew he was putting on for her – I ate my dinner in a very subdued fashion, careful to look cheerful whenever Grace addressed me, or Jack asked me a question about my day. Towards the end of the meal, Grace yawned and stretched her little arms above her head in a comical action mimicking Wizard Mickey Mouse from Fantasia. We'd had to give her another movie to obsess about other than Shrek or The Little Mermaid. The hundreds of dancing brooms had won her over easily making her giggle when Mickey tried to stop them from multiplying.
"Time for a bath and bed, I think." I said with a smile.
"I'll clear up here." Jack added as he started clearing the plates while I took Grace down to the bathroom. She had been insistent the last few times that she was big enough to use the shower. Thankfully, the bathroom we used for her had a bathtub and shower combination giving her lots of room to move and me easy access for if she encountered problems.
Once she was finished, Jack appeared and helped her get dried and dressed, then settled down and read her a book. Tonight, she had chosen "Room on the Broom", a personal favourite of mine bought for her by Cassandra. He was as animated in his story telling as always though every time he looked at me I could see the weight of whatever news he had sitting heavily on his heart. I couldn't look anymore without bursting out a demand that he tell me what was wrong. Clearly, he didn't want Gracie to find out.
"I'm gonna…" They both looked at me just as Jack got to the part where the frog got onto the broom. "Good night, Gracie." I said cheerily and hugged my daughter, then kissed my husband.
"I'll be in soon. OK." He murmured as his soulful brown eyes fixed onto mine. Nodding mutely, I smiled and walked out of our daughter's room to the sound of Jack's booming dragon voice stating he was going to have "witch and chips" for tea. Gracie giggled and I smiled. The love he had for our daughter was beautiful.
It wasn't long before he joined me. I was sitting on the side of the bed in my nightdress brushing my hair when he joined me and wrapped his arms around my waist, his head resting on my collarbone. My arms immediately wrapped around him in return, and I buried my nose in his hair.
"You know I love you, right?"
"Of course. Jack, what is this about? Please…" He was scaring me though I didn't want to say that because I could sense the turmoil he was going through. He started kissing his way along my collarbone and up my neck. "Mmm… Jack." I panted, my hands gripping his back as he laid me down. I was half on the bed, my feet still on the floor. He was doing to stuff to my body that made my nerves sing. "Jack." I said more forcefully making him lean back. "Please… don't shut me out." I begged, placing my hand on his face. His eyes closed as he leaned into my hand.
"There was a repository…" He started, then opened his eyes showing me his love and his pain, the apology hidden in their brown depths.
"No. Jack please…" I started before the anger replaced my hurt. Dodging out from under him, I stood up and put some distance between us. "You promised you would never do that again!" I yelled at him, momentarily forgetting that it wasn't him who promised anything.
"Sam, I didn't have a choice."
"You always have a choice!" I yelled, placing my palm across my forehead, and blinking my eyes slowly. "What about one of the others because I know you weren't there by yourself!" I cried out avoiding him when he came toward me. I wasn't ready for him to comfort me. Not yet. I needed to get this out now because all I wanted was for him to wrap me up and lie to me. I wanted to hear him say everything would be OK.
"Charlie couldn't. He tried. It didn't work for him, and Teal'c… it wouldn't work for him either." He explained. "It had to be me!"
"Doctor Jackson was there. If he was Ascended as you claim, it would have worked for him."
"And who translates things when he starts speaking all crazy? Did you ever think about that, huh, Sam!" I stared back at him in muted anger. "Look. Anubis is coming. He is already on his way." Jack flung his arm out in a random direction.
"But… the Asgard… they…"
"…are persona non-gratia Sam. We haven't heard from them since they swooped in to take Loki into custody." He informed me. "No one is coming to save us!" He yelled, bringing tears to my eyes.
"We could have run… Apophis… he focused on the big cities. Jack…" I tried to give him other options that would have been better than him losing his mind.
"You think Apophis was bad, you have no idea!" He ground out in his command tone, "Anubis levelled an entire planet with one press of a button."
"Don't talk to me like I'm one of your soldiers! I'm not Major Samantha Carter, Jack!" The bark in my voice was edged with the distress I was feeling, nevertheless, he immediately lost the commanding air and walked towards me wrapping his arms around my shoulders and pulling me into his chest.
"I know that. Believe me, I do. Sam… I'm sorry." He apologised, then drew back and ran his hands into my hair. "Don't you see? He will do the same thing here. He will kill us all in the blink of an eye. I have to try." He confessed with tears rimming his eyes.
"What about Grace?"
"I am doing this for Grace, and for you. For us."
"I can't lose you again, Jack." I cried, tipping my head forward to rest on his forehead.
"You won't. Carter says four months. The Asgard will come of their own volition." He replied, dropping his hands, and enfolding me against his chest.
"You trust her?" I asked even though I knew what the answer would be.
"With my life." He murmured into my hair. "I've never had a Carter let me down. Never. Major Carter kept me alive; Colonel Carter gave me courage; you gave me hope and a beautiful daughter. I love you all so much!" His hands were travelling up and down my back.
"Jack! Make love to me… please" I begged. He didn't answer with words, rather he growled, tightened his arms around my waist, lifted until my feet dangled a few inches off the ground and walked me to the bed while kissing my neck. "God, Jack! I love you!"
When he put me down, I sat on the edge of the bed and worked on his belt while he fumbled with the buttons on his shirt and heeled his shoes off. When his jeans dropped, he used his feet to stomp them off then whipped his half-unbuttoned shirt over his head with a growl of impatience.
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He wasn't quite ready, so instead of letting him take control, I placed my hands on his backside and wrapped my lips around his growing length, sinking down hard and fast while cupping his balls and scratching lightly with my fingernails feeling them tighten.
"Fuck!" He cried, hands going straight to my head while I worked. I loved his fingers wrapping themselves around the strands of my hair while I did this, so I rewarded him with a few deep throat manoeuvres before sucking hard pressing my tongue along the thick vein and finishing with a sweep over his sensitive head making sure the tip of my tongue found his slit.
"Ahhhh… Sam… Sam." I knew he wanted to reciprocate, but tonight was my turn. I wanted him so hot to trot and delirious that once I was done with him, he would mount me like a stallion. Shrugging my nightdress straps off, I wriggled until I could push it down enough for it fall off as soon as I stopped what I was doing.
Soon enough he growled and pushed me off him. Looking up in time to find a dark set of eyes before he engulfed me in an urgent kiss. Tonight promised to be fun and memorable and I knew walking tomorrow would be difficult. Giggling loudly, I scooted my way up the bed leaving my nightdress behind and turned over. The bed dipped heavily as he followed. I had just enough time to grab the headboard before my stallion buried his fingers into my hips and slammed home making me cry out at his delicious intrusion. He always knew what I wanted without me having to ask. His hand pushing on my shoulder was the only request I got to lay down on my arms changing the angle. His other hand gripping the top of the mattress as he leaned over the top of me, his right leg lifted up and wrapped around my hip as he thrust down hard pulling a sharp cry from my lungs that I just managed to muffle with the pillow. He merely chuckled in his deep throaty way and did it again before easing up a little only to return to his deep-seated thrusts when he sensed I was ready for more.
"Oh God! Oh God! Hmmngh…" I hiccupped on a particular hard thump of his pelvis into mine. We hadn't even stopped for the mandatory protection that we should have been using. Yet I didn't care. A crying yell later, I felt him go, following with my own pillow-muffled almighty scream when the jet of his warm semen pulsed against my G-spot while the head of his cock pressing hard against it became the final catalyst that I needed to go over the edge.
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We fell to the side together, his arms wrapped around me and his lips dancing kisses along my neck while his fingers traced symbols in the sweat just below my breasts.
"Mmm… love you." I murmured making him smile before he rolled me to my back.
"Oh, I am so not finished with you. Got four months to make up for, I might as well get a head start." He said with a broad grin and then proceeded to kiss his way south very slowly, paying attention to every sensitive spot on the way.
By the time he made it to his ultimate destination, he was rock again and I was writhing on the bed begging him to get on with it. The second time we joined, we were face to face, and it slower and longer lasting with lots of kissing and declarations of love and promises of forever whispered.
We eventually passed out together a few minutes before midnight.
