AU: Jack and Gracie have a moment together
Chapter 12: Angel wings
Saturday, 13th March 2004 – O'Neill Household – Grace O'Neill
"Have you brushed your teeth, Gracie?" Mummy asked while she combed and plaited my hair for bed making me look up from the very important task of brushing Sparkles' teeth.
"Yes. I am brushing Sparkles' teeth." I announced. "He didn't do a good job so now I am brushing the teeth he wants to keep." I added in a suitably annoyed tone giving Sparkles a hard look for his laziness.
"Oh good. When you are done, go and say good night to Daddy." She replied just as she finished with the last twist of the hair tie. "He's in the lounge." She then gave me a kiss on my head.
"Is Daddy OK?" I asked looking up at her. She looked at the wall, then the floor, then the ceiling before looking back at me.
"Of course." She smiled awkwardly, "Of course, he's fine." She replied with lying eyes. Daddy had felt cold and hard ever since last night, like something was wrong and he didn't want me to see what it was. It was like Hide and Seek; except he would not let me Seek him out.
"OK." I lied back and put Sparkles' toothbrush down before stepping off my step and walking out the door then down towards the lounge area. Daddy was sitting in his favourite chair by the fire, his fingers pressed into the sides of his head and his eyes closed. He wasn't hiding things now because I could feel the pain in his head hurting inside mine.
"Ouch!" I cried out with scrunched up eyes. Suddenly the pain went away, and I opened my eyes to find Daddy looking at me. He was still in pain but had somehow stopped it from hurting me.
"Gracie. Sweetheart. Come here." He beckoned and opened his arms wide. With a massive smile, I jumped down the two steps, dodged the coffee table and crawled up into his lap as his arms folded themselves around me.
Daddy gave the best hugs.
We sat there for a while in the quiet when he spoke suddenly. "Gracie, I have to go somewhere for a little while." His nose was in my hair, and I figured it was because it smelled like strawberries.
"A mission?" I asked, turning my head, and looking into his tired hurting eyes.
"Yes. Kind of. A very important mission to stop a very bad man from doing very bad things." He explained with a worried smile that didn't reach his eyes like they normally did, and I wondered if he used to talk to Charlie before his missions as well. I would ask him next time we visited.
"With my uncles?" I inquired wondering if he would have some help with him.
"Maybe for part of the way, just not all of it." He took in a deep breath and added, "The other part is kind of a solo mission. Just me."
"Can't Uncle Daniel, or Uncle Teal'c or Uncle Charlie go instead?" I asked, giving him lots of options while bouncing Sparkles on my knee.
"No. They can't do this mission. You see, I have the plans in here." He pointed to the side of his head, "They are important plans, and I can't share them with anyone else."
"Like the pirates who didn't want anyone else to find their treasure." I replied remembering all the famous pirates that Uncle Daniel had told me about. He smiled broadly giving me the smile he normally used instead of the small hurting one. "Is it classified?" I asked, remembering the word not sharing big secrets after having heard it enough from Mummy, Uncle Charlie, and Uncle George before I met Daddy.
"Oh yeah, super classified. Only special people can get this information." He agreed, tucking a wayward piece of hair behind my ear.
"Like us?"
"Yeah, like us."
I leaned forwards and beckoned him to turn his head, "So, you can tell me." I whispered cons-consp- consipatorally – whatever the word for crazy feory people was – in his ear. I knew that word too having heard Uncle Charlie laugh about conspiritry feorists and crazy people who thought weird stuff was real. Except some of it was real, we just couldn't tell the crazy people in case it made them crazier. Like the guy with the frizzy hair on the television. Mummy said he might explode if he found out about the really real aliens. Uncle Danny made a funny rude noise when I asked if he knew the frizzy man.
Daddy leaned back and gave me a sad look, "No, Gracie. I can't and you don't want this stuff in your head. Trust me." He replied, then kissed my cheek.
"OK, Colonel Daddy." I replied, pretending the words came out of Sparkles' mouth even though it was just stitching, then used his front hoof to salute because he was only a Major and Major's saluted Colonel's.
He smiled, but it was sad again. I really wished I could make him smile happily but I didn't know how because he wouldn't let me. Slowly he dipped his hand into his pocket and pulled out something shiny then flattened out his hand for me to see.
I gasped, "Wow! That's pretty. What is it?" I asked as I reached forwards then looked at him for permission. He smiled and nodded, so I gently took it out of his hands and held it in mine, running my fingertips over the wings in awe of their shininess.
"Are they angel's wings?" I asked following the curves with my fingers and marvelling at how big they were in my hand. They looked just like glitter, and I loved glitter.
"They are my pilots wings. They are super important. They tell everyone in the US armed forces that I am a pilot with the Air Force." He explained, tracing the wings with his finger while it sat in my hand.
"A pilot. Like a real pilot?" I was amazed because I thought Daddy worked underground. Planes didn't live underground.
He chuckled and brushed another piece of hair that had escaped my plait behind my ear. "Yeah, I'm a real pilot. Just not commercial planes."
"Fighter jets! Like Maverick!" I got excited remembering when I had snuck out of bed one night to watch the movie while my uncles were looking after me.
"How do you know… you know what, never mind. I think I know." I smiled and hid behind Sparkles not wanting to get Uncle Teal'c into trouble. It hadn't been his fault. Instead of trying to defend myself, I just smiled showing all my teeth and dimples making Daddy chuckle and kiss my head.
"Similar, yes. But better… my fighters were way cooler than Maverick's." He boasted. I had to agree because Maverick's plane was just on the TV, not really real. Daddy's planes were really really real and that was way cooler.
"You flyed more than one?" I asked with excitement.
"Oh, yeah. My first was the F-4 Phantom, then the F-15 and then a prototype that broke – Mummy saved my ar… saved me – then a brand new not broken one that is super-duper classified." He replied, using his shiny wings to fly through the air. I had to giggle when he nearly said a bad word. "Though, I don't need these wings for that one. I have another insignia just like astronauts."
"Astranots!" I squealed making him flinch. "Sorry!" I whispered though I couldn't hide my excitement. My Daddy was a pilot AND a astranot! He just smiled his happy smile once again which made my heart sing.
Opening my hand, he landed his wings into my palm and curled my fingers around them. "Wow. My Daddy is cool!" I said gleefully, lifting Sparkles arms up and flying him through the air making sure not to drop my prize.
"Gracie. It's bedtime, honey." Mummy called out from down the hallway.
"In a moment, Mummy." Daddy replied, his arm still holding me tight. "Gracie…" He sighed, "I have a very important job for you. A mission if you will. Something only you can do." He said making me look at him and listen.
"What is it?" I asked, looking at his shiny wings and running my fingers over them.
"I need you to look after these for me." He stated, tapping on the centre with his finger before grasping one of the wings in his hand and encouraging me to do the same. "Now, I will think of you, and you will think of me."
"I always think about you, Daddy." He smiled then looked back at the badge coaxing me to do the same.
As we sat there thinking of each other, our hands glowed and the badge turned golden yellow and then white. It warmed to the touch, but not so hot that we had to let go. Looking at it closely, I fancied that I could see Daddy's and my faces inside the wings. Eventually the light faded from the badge and glow on our hands went away.
"If you ever need to talk to me, you can use these just like you use Leo to talk to Charlie." He said to me, once again folding my fingers around the badge. It was still very warm, kind of a happy warm.
"They really do look like angel's wings." I noted, then scrunched up my face when I thought of something really bad that made me want to cry. "Are you going to be an angel Daddy?" I asked unable to stop the little upset jump in my voice. Charlie was an angel and that was OK, and my other Daddy was an angel, but I didn't want this Daddy to be an angel as well. Though the very thought of Daddy being an angel made me cry and wrap my arms around him burying my face into his chest.
"Oh, Sweetheart. No. No." He said soothingly, hugging me back, but I could sense that he was lying. He didn't know if he was going to come home. "I promise I will always be with you." He spoke into my hair. I could feel his warm breath.
Leaning back, I kept my eyes focused down and sobbed, "I don't want you to be an angel. I want – I want – I want…" The words hiccupping out making me scrunch up my face and let more tears out. The sound of Daddy sniffing made me look up at him to find streams of tears tracing their way down his face. He didn't bother trying to brush them away or hide them from me.
"I promise you. I won't. I have a good friend. A great friend who is going to help us – help me – get home to you. You'll meet her tomorrow. She'll have another friend with her that I promise will help you and love just as much as I love you." He explained then pulled me hard against his chest hugging me so hard I thought I might break. That was OK, because if Daddy went to heaven, I knew Mummy would break and so might I.
Looking at the ever-present smile on Sparkles' face, I realised that if he was with Daddy, maybe he could help him come home. Sitting up and lifting Sparkles until he could see my eyes, I pointed at him.
"Major Sparkles. You have a very important mission. You must go with Colonel Daddy and make sure he comes home." I ordered in my very important officer voice making Daddy laugh.
"Yes Sir!" I answered for Sparkles, then lifted his hoof and saluted making Daddy chuckle again. I then handed Sparkles over and watched as Daddy took him in hand.
"Major Sparkles. Are you up to this very important mission?" He asked, focusing his tired eyes on the pink sparkling unicorn.
"Yes, Sir!" I answered for him.
"Good to hear, airman." Daddy replied as he tucked Sparkles into his half-opened shirt and looked at me. I smiled and looked at the angel wings in my hand, my fingers running across them. They were still warm, and I wondered if it was from my hand or from the glowing magic.
"Gracie!" Mummy called from down the hall.
"Go. Sleep well my angel." Daddy said and gave me a kiss on my forehead. I hoped it wasn't the last time he'd give me one of those. Wrapping my arms around him, I squeezed until he made a noise that was pretend because I knew he was way stronger than me. Still, it made me feel good.
"Good night, Daddy. I love you." Then clambered off his lap and jog trotted across the lounge and up the two steps.
"I love you too, Gracie." I heard him say, but when I turned, he was looking at the fire and I realised that I heard his words in my mind. Bringing the angel wings to my lips, I thought of Daddy which made the wings glow, then placed a kiss on the centre. In return I received a smile and the feeling of a warm hug.
Turning toward my bedroom, I promised that I would make sure Daddy was not alone and hoped his mission would not be too long.
