Authors note: So I hadnt planned on taking such a long time to get this out, but my girlfriend moved in with me. so I have been...distracted. you can blame her.

Chapter Four: Miseria Cantare

Things were awkward as Ruby, Blake, and Yang had brought me back to Beacon. Sneaking me back inside the dorm without any staff or other students seeing us. Yang brought me to the bathroom and told me to shower. I stiffly nodded as my blonde bombshell of a teammate left me alone in the bathroom when that small voice in the back of my head wanted to ask her to join me.

I did not ask.

When I stepped out of the shower I saw a pair of my panties as well as a night gown I often wore. The silk-white slip of clothing covered me down to my mid-thighs. I blushed at the thought of any of my mates or Blake going through my clothes. The cold realization that I couldn't help but think of Ruby and Yang as anything but my mates sent a chill down my spine.

My father was right. I really had ruined everything. I attacked Ruby, I had basically molested Yang and made her feel pleasure without her consent. I was an awful person, could I even consider myself a person anymore? People didn't do what I had done. In the span of two days, I had drank from three people and had nearly killed two of them. Monsters killed innocent people. Sure that woman who worked for Torchwick wasn't necessarily innocent, but she still didn't deserve what I had done to her.

A knock on the door snapped me out of my thoughts, the door slowly creaking open to reveal Ruby peaking into the room with wide innocent doe-like silver eyes."Weiss, are you ok?" My mate asked me.

I couldn't help the pang of warmth that filled me when she showed me concern. "Not really, I just feel guilty. I ruined everything these past couple of days," I say softly.

Ruby frowned at my admission and opened the door fully to step inside. I couldn't even make a sound of indignation before my mate pulled me into a tight hug. Ruby's arms wrapped around me, one hand pulling my head to the junction of her neck. I tried to fight, but in a reversing of the situation that started this whole ordeal, Ruby seemed to have superhuman strength that overpowered me easily. Whether it was because Ruby was actually stronger than me, or because I was so emotionally exhausted that I didn't really fight her, I refuse to say.

"It's going to be ok, Weiss," Ruby murmured. "I trust you, you are my bestie after all."

"I could kill you right now, and you say you trust me? You really are a stupid little girl." I sniffed as I finally returned the hug, wrapping my mate up in my arms.

"Yeah, well this stupid little girl is your mate now, so you are gonna have to get used to me," Ruby snickered. "Besides, I know you would never hurt me on purpose. You are cold and snarky and maybe even mean sometimes, but you aren't bad. You just struggle sometimes with people, but that's ok because now you have me, Yang, and Blake to help you from now on."

"I don't want this for you," I argue, though I know it's already too late. Ruby and Yang's future was already decided for them. As Blake's dad said, they would be forced to love me.

"What if I said I did?" Ruby asked, the question catching me completely off guard.

"What?"

Ruby pulled away from me finally, releasing the hug, her hands now grasping my shoulders as she looked at me with such a vibrant smile. "I mean, I always thought you were pretty, but I thought you were straight. I didn't know you liked other girls like I did."

"You're a degenerate too?" I ask horrified.

Ruby rolled her eyes at my comment, something I found my team did whenever I said things that were just common sense in Atlas. "I'm sapphic, not a degenerate," Ruby snorted.

"What's sapphic? Are you or are you not a degenerate lesbian like me?" I ask, ignoring the bark of laughter coming from Blake in the other room, her damned faunus ears obviously hearing our entire conversation.

"What's she saying?" Yang asked in what she considered a whisper, but due to my own faunus heritage, I could hear as if she was speaking normally.

"She called herself a degenerate lesbian," Blake snickered.

"Kinky," Yang purred.

"Ughhh!" I grunt before grabbing Ruby by the arm and pulling her back into the main room where a grinning Yang and a smirking Blake sat on Yang's bed. "Since private bathroom conversations are apparently no longer sacred with this team, might as well have our conversation in here." I snip.

"Sorry, Ice Queen, I just really wanted to know how you were doing," Yang says with a guilty smile.

"That's nice," I say with a roll of my eyes. "So as I was asking, are you a degenerate like me?" I asked turning to Ruby who just looked at me sadly.

"Weiss, being gay does not make you a degenerate," Ruby said softly.

"What? Of course it does. I'm broken, I don't find men attractive, how does that make me anything but a degenerate? I like women, I want to be with women, if that doesn't scream degenerate then I don't know what does." I argue in confusion.

"Yeah, that just makes you a lesbian or some variation of sapphic," Yang said with a shrug.

"What is sapphic?" I finally ask.

"Sapphic means to be a woman or woman-aligned person who is attracted to other women or women-aligned people. It's an umbrella term that covers both cis, trans, and non-binary folks who describe themselves as female or at least female adjacent. This also covers women who may be attracted to other genders besides female. So it covers pansexual, bisexual, and any flavor of queer you can come up with." Blake answered.

"You people and your confusing words." I groaned leaning my head back in frustration. "So tell me how being… that word doesn't make me a degenerate?"

"Because there is nothing wrong with being gay, there is nothing wrong with being LGBTQ," Ruby spoke.

"But my father told me that degenerates like me are the scum of the earth, no better than faun-" My voice trailed off as my mouth clicked shut. A distressed noise escaped my mouth as I backpedaled and sat on my bed. Was this just another thing my father had purposely kept me ignorant of? If Father was wrong about faunus being nothing but scum, then was he also wrong about degen… about gay people?

My gaze lifts from my lap and I look at Blake who was giving me a soft but knowing look. Father was wrong about faunus, that much was certain. Blake was anything but the things Father claimed the faunus to be, and in the short time I had been giving other faunus besides Blake a chance. They had all been kind, smart, hard-working, and even willing to give me, a stupid little girl burdened with the name 'Schnee', a chance to be their friend.

"You ok, Weiss?" Yang asked.

"I-I may be realizing that a lot of the things my father has taught me about the world may be false," I answered truthfully.

"I mean, duh!" Yang snorted before flinching at the glare I sent her way.

"Believe it or not Yang Xiao Long, not everyone was gifted with good parents. My mother was an absentee drunkard, and my father was a racist, homophobic, abusi-" I cut myself off looking away, the silence hanging heavy in the air. "The point was that it's hard to know your parents' faults when they are the only examples you have. For all his faults, my father was my hero. I wanted to be perfect for him for so long. It's hard to remind myself that he's flawed, even when it's obvious to others."

"I know it's because you don't know me and Ruby's background but don't think you are the only one who had a shitty upbringing or had shitty parents," Yang growled in warning causing me to flinch.

"I-I didn't mean to make assumptions… Sorry." I cringed a bit at the slightly sorrowful looks that each of my teammates were sporting.

We all lapsed into silence before Blake cleared her throat and raised her hand slightly. "My mom and dad are considered by many to be terrorists, and I spent a majority of my childhood being raised by said organization instead of my parents because of how busy the White Fang made them."

Yang raised her hand next, clearing her throat. "My mom abandoned me and my dad, I still don't know where she is and have been looking for her for years."

Ruby raised her hand last, her eyes slightly misty as she rubbed away the tears with a sniffle. "My mom was a Huntress, when I was young she went out on a mission, and she was never heard from again. Her mission site was a bloody mess with nothing left of her except her tattered cloak and her weapon. When Mom died, Dad was a wreck and Yang had to raise me because Dad and Uncle Qrow were too busy grieving to handle raising two girls. Dad only got better a few years ago. He tries, but we can tell he's still mourning Mom."

I couldn't help but pull Ruby into a hug, my face buried into her neck as I wanted to make my mate feel better. Her grip on me was tight but shaky. I felt Ruby start to fall apart in my arms before she somehow managed to pull herself together. Pulling away with me with a small smile and a slightly sniffly nose.

"I didn't know. I'm sorry, I should know better than to speak without thinking." I ramble apologetically before being silenced by a hand from Yang who looked at me with a small grin.

"Believe it or not, Ice Queen we are used to you being our ignorant little princess. We don't hold it against you-"

"Anymore." Blake interrupted.

Yang flinched a bit before nodding a bit. "R-right, we don't hold it against you anymore. We know you are trying to be better. So try not to sweat it, we will correct you if you start showing your 'Schnee' side instead of the Weiss we know and love."

"I-I appreciate it," I admit feeling my face burn slightly and being so bluntly told I used to be and sometimes, still am, what many would consider a total bitch.

"So, let's try and bring the mood up, 'cause that was all pretty sad and I'm frankly tired of feeling sad. So Weiss, what flavor of queer are you? Do you know?" Yang asked, all three girls leaning forward in what looked like anticipation, the downer moment before all but forgotten.

"I like women," I answered blandly.

"Ok, any specific type of women? What about fem-leaning Non-Binary people?" Yang pressed.

"I don't know what that means!" I hiss in displeasure at being grilled about this. "What about you, what is your 'flavor of queer' as you call it?"

"Oh, that's easy. I'm pansexual. I don't care about looks, gender, or orientation. If the vibes are right I'm down to 'Yang'" Yang answered grinning at her stupid pun.

"Lame," Blake muttered looking at Yang with exasperation at her pun. "I'm bisexual, It's like pansexual in that I don't care about gender, but I do care about looks. I have preferred types, and I have people who, while I'm glad to be friends with, I have no sexual attraction to whatsoever."

"Ruby?" I said turning to my youngest Mate.

"Oh, I'm asexual but romantically attracted to women," Ruby answered easily.

"Y-You're what?" I ask baffled.

"I'm asexual," Ruby answered the same as she did before, not getting my confusion.

"What does that even mean?"

"It means I don't feel sexual attraction towards people," Ruby answered as if it was the most normal thing in the world, and by the looks of Yang and Blake, it was.

"How does that work exactly? So, you don't find people attractive? You don't find me attractive? Oh god, I forced you to be my mate and you don't even find me attractive." I spluttered, panicking as I got up from my seat on the bed and started to pace back and forth.

I can't believe I did this to her, she must be so upset with me! Stupid Weiss, always ruining everything!

"Weiss!" Ruby shouted, snapping me out of my internal berating.

"What?" I shout back equally as loud.

"I don't find anyone attractive like that, but that doesn't mean I can't recognize if someone is attractive, and it also doesn't mean I'm incapable of falling in love with someone for reasons other than sex," Ruby spoke, her silver eyes unwavering as she stared me down.

"So you still like me?" I asked, feeling oddly fragile with the question.

"Of course, you're like, totally amazing and awesome!" Ruby cheered.

"You just don't want sex?" I mumbled with a small blush.

Ruby shook her head at that. "That's not what I said. I said I don't feel sexual attraction towards people. I can still want sex, but my wants will be for different reasons than someone who's not ace."

"I'm confused," I sigh as I finally sit back down on the bed, Ruby looking at me with an amused smile. "If you don't feel sexual attraction, why would you want sex?"

"To make my partner happy," Ruby answered as if it was obvious.

"That seems… taxing?" I say hesitantly hands folded in my lap as I anxiously pick at my nails.

Ruby shrugged before sitting next to me, her hand dropping on top of my own to stop my picking, Blake and Yang looking at us with small grins. "Not every ace person is the same, so don't take my feelings towards sex as gospel. Some ace people are completely sex-repulsed, and some are like me to where we just don't care about it."

My blush deepened as I read between the lines of what Ruby was telling me. "So that means, you'd…" I trailed off, completely unable to finish the train of thought, though Ruby seemed to understand what I was going to say, as she turned completely scarlet and began to stammer a bit.

"I-I mean. I g-guess, errr, no, I mean yes, of course, but… Is it hot in here? Blake, did you turn the thermostat up? Why is it so hot?" Yang barked out laughing as Ruby tried to scramble for a coherent sentence while Blake looked at us with fond amusement.

"Ok, before you give my little sister a heart attack, we still need to discuss stuff," Yang said getting up from her bed and pulling a stammering Ruby away from me and setting her next to Blake, Yang taking up Ruby's former spot next to me.

"Yang is right. Weiss, as you heard from my parents you know that we will need you to feed on me, to make sure that Yang and Ruby don't suffer any health complications." Blake spoke.

I bit my cheek as a small flame of anxiety lit in my stomach. "I also remember your parents being completely against it, and that when I bite people I ruin their life by tying them to me forever."

"You know it's not negotiable, if we are going to last here for the remaining three and a half years you will need a third mate," Blake spoke sternly.

"I bit Torchwick's partner, that's a third mate!" I argued, my voice coming out as more of a whine than intended.

"You are gonna need someone who's actually around, not a wanted criminal," Yang growled.

"Why does it have to be Blake? I've already messed things up so badly for you and Ruby, why do I have to mess things up for Blake too?" I ask.

Yang groaned, pressing her weight against me as she leaned into me. "You just had this conversation in the bathroom with Ruby. Ruby doesn't mind, and guess what, I don't either."

"You don't mind?" I asked incredulously.

Yang snorted at my look of bewilderment. "No, I don't mind. You mean I get a woman who will love me forever and ever, who's cute and would look good with me sitting on her face cause she has major pillow-princess energy? I'd kill bitches for this opportunity."

"I don't know what a 'pillow-princess' is but I am most definitely not that!" I hiss angrily as I feel Yang's words stroke something in my mind, that animalistic voice in the back of my head purring at my mate stating she would kill to be with me.

"Of course, that's the part you hear." Yang laughed.

I roll my eyes and turn to Ruby who is looking at me with a flushed embarrassed expression. "Ruby, you feel the same way?"

It took a moment before Ruby nodded in confirmation. "I wouldn't have used those exact words… but yes."

I turn to Blake, her eyes meeting mine, where I would expect trepidation, hesitance, and maybe even reluctant disgust. I instead saw soft eyes that offered comfort and solace. "Blake?"

"If you would have asked me a few months ago if I would be ok tying my life to a Schnee, I think people in Atlas could have heard my laughter at such an insane question." Blake sighed, her words making my heart drop into my stomach, the anxiety climbing up my neck and choking me. "But, then I met a girl named Weiss. She was brash, arrogant, judgmental, rude, and every single thing I had been raised to hate." If I couldn't breathe before, I really couldn't now. I could hear my own heartbeat, it felt like it was beating so hard, so loud, like it was trying to escape from my ribcage so it could get away from this conversation.

"I-I'm sorry, I-" I began before Blake interrupted me with a single harsh look.

"Then the bratty arrogant racist showed her true colors. I thought they were simply lapses in judgment, but she just kept showing how good of a person she truly was. I learned that the Schnee I thought I knew was really a misguided girl named Weiss who, despite every single obstacle that was placed in front of her, was rapidly growing into a loving, caring, kind, smart girl who simply needed distance from the toxic environment she grew up in."

"Blake," I breathed in awe, the chokehold my body was in before completely disappearing as Blake spoke.

"Weiss I don't see you as that person anymore, you are simply 'Weiss' to me. My uppity teammate who probably could use therapy and a bpd and ocd diagnosis. So no, I don't mind tying myself to you. Did I ever think about this as a possibility? No, but now that the option is in front of me, I'm not too keen to run from it."

I felt tears slip past my eyelids, I tried to not cry but I just couldn't hold it in. "O-ok," I choked out as I tried to stifle my sobs, my body shuddering with each contained tremor. I felt Yang wrap her arms around me before I felt two more pairs of hands wrap around me as my team-no! As my mates held me tight. They weren't going to abandon me. They weren't going to let me go through this alone, like my father had.

They had my back. They loved me.