~ Author's Note~
I really hope the Terra Nova fandom is still out there somewhere. I recently done a rewatch and fell in love with it all over again. This story is mainly going to focus on N. Taylor/Lucas because they are my favorite characters and have such an interesting relationship to me. I want to take the first few chapters from 2138 up until the portal to focus on their declining relationship, Lucas getting thrown out in the jungle and the episodes through both of their point of views. This is a bit of a fix it fic, Washington is not going to die here and there will be a redemption arc for Lucas. Side note, I am also making Lucas a LGBT character, if you do not enjoy that I completely understand but please do not leave derogatory comments about that. After getting through season one I will also be creating a second season on what happened after the last episode of season one. Reviews are always appreciated and so is kind, constructive criticism. I hope you enjoy!
~ End of Author's Note~
The world was supposed to constantly be changing beneath his feet, the only light in the dark that came with his travels and what they could bring, new experiences to shape your life by as men of his occupation had done centuries past. But the alarming monotonous sameness of dead land and painful air was never ending, the one constant that was shared by the thousands of miles he had weathered.
Most days, it simply made him angry. What human greed and indifference could do to a world was frightening, but he could never allow himself to feel that fear. Anger was easier, it gave you the drive to make a difference, to not stand by while the world in all its ugliness would do to you what it would. A lesson he had been desperate to pass onto the only child the world had graced him with, that it was not the circumstances of your birth that defined you, but what you do with those circumstances that made you who you are.
But that anger was gone now, and the only thing he could feel was that horribly dry, painful air. And helplessness. Worst of all that helplessness. The constant drive to fight harder until you made the outcome you wanted was not able to be found, being forced to accept the fate being handed to him.
"These are innocent people, women and children. Your point has been made, no more needs to be done."
Even through the cloud of smog pollution that covered every sky he had been under; he could still see the light reflecting off the barrel of the gun pointed at his wife's head, the blood that seeped onto the unforgiving ground and the ones who lay dead already. How the hard-baked dirt dug into their knees, the terror in his son's eyes as they begged him to help, to make this alright. Because that is what he did; he was a father, one that always done right by their child. Or at least attempted to.
"Have you made your pick yet Taylor?"
No mercy would be found here, no reasoning with another human soul. His position may have well meant nothing, less than nothing. For some reason the sound of Alicia's boot crunching the ground beside him made what he hoped was unreal, real again. It was his turn to pick what family member would live, a cruelty whose pain knew no ending.
Ayani. From the moment he had met her, he'd wanted no one else. The years spent alone together had forged a bond he had never thought he would hold with anyone, breaking down any wall he had built against the world to let her light shine through. Her intelligence, the gentle way she viewed the world and the need to heal the hurting. Her long dark hair pulled back as she poured over her endless supply of books, the beautiful smile that was reserved for him only. The strength in her had made him feel weak, wielded with empathy and good grace he could never muster. And beside her, the other greatest love he had ever known, his son.
Children were something she had prayed for, and he had given up hope on. Even without the population law, it seemed luck was against them. The number of miscarriages that plagued them both had seemed to be the only answer they would ever receive, but she was stubborn. No more he had said, drying the endless tears after the last one. No more of this.
Just one more try she had insisted, and he had never been able to deny her what she wanted. As was the way of things, she was proven right; placing the greatest pride and love he had ever known in his arms that had been created from her sheer will and determination, of a love for someone who had not been born yet. But there would be no more, and he was more than happy with that. Their family was complete, nothing more he could ask for.
He would have begged if could make a difference. There was no reasoning with the rebels, the bodies that lay around them their proof. He and his soldiers he wielded held no power here, reduced to less than nothing and the innocent deaths on their hands. He had already tried, promising armor, bullets, weapons; anything they wanted and being laughed at for his attempts. Nothing he could do.
Her back was straight, her hands steady even as death faced her down. The steel in her may have been gentle, but it was steel, nonetheless. They both knew what his answer would be, the only answer it would have ever been.
"My son."
His son that was jerked up harshly, the panic in his voice painful and cutting him deeply.
"No!"
If only he could have saved them both, he would have. He would have laid his life down for them both if he had been given the chance. The weakness he felt within himself was nauseating, placing a hand against his son's shoulder to keep him from making a foolish decision that would cost the lives of the only two people he loved as he was shoved towards him.
"Stop."
Said as an order, a command while not looking at him because he could not, could not bear to see the look in his eyes once more as everything around them was destroyed.
It was rare to hear his child sound like just that, a child. The mind he had inherited from his mother far exceeded his own, creating questions and answers to them he could hardly fathom. But he was still just that; his child, whose help he was having to deny. That had been one thing he had prided himself on, that his son's world hung on, his protection. He fixed everything, he made everything better. His soldiers followed him under that guidance, as did his family. And he had failed them, every single one of them.
Silence was the only answer he had, never turning his eyes away from hers that told him he had done the only right thing he could have at this time, his grip around his son's arm a vice as he struggled against him, only stopping his fight as the gunshot rang through the air and she toppled into the dirt, hiding his face against the arm he had fought so hard against, tears soaking through the fabric of his clothing.
He never turned away from her, barely hearing the sobbing by his side. His beautiful wife, the first reason he had to live for anything lay dead before him; and the only fault he could place was on himself.
"Why didn't you save her?"
Choked out, barely audible but still enough to cause his throat to constrict harshly. He could not have answered if he had wanted to, feeling a deep numbness take over everything as he watched the blood pool out from her body, a pure life snuffed out in the name of a war he had too eagerly agreed to.
He, Nathaniel Taylor, was a failure. He had failed as a leader, as a husband, and a father. And now, he and Lucas were completely alone in a world neither one of them wanted to be apart of by his hand.
