~Author's Note~
I am thinking maybe another 2-3 chapters about what happened before N. Taylor went through the portal and then picking up from there and then all the episodes after that. The biggest theme throughout this story is definitely family dysfunction and miscommunication, that's why they have always been my two favorites. And with Alicia, I like to think of her and Taylor working together for years and her being close with everyone at some point during that, but the impression I got was she was one of the few people he was vulnerable around.
~End of Note~
Confidentiality was one thing he could keep, and wild horses would not have been dragged the information he was entrusted with from him; except for one person who had never been ostracized from his doings, who had and would still follow him into any unknown. It was time for her to know, to help guide him along in this.
A curious disruption found by a wealthy corporation who had simply been trying to build more of those hideous buildings to reach into the sky had turned into a story of science fiction, one he wanted her to be a part of. A possible rift in time, if the current eggheads in charge were to be believed. How something like that could even occur was a question far above his paygrade, but if it could be explored, then he would be the one to do it, and she would go with him if he asked.
Staying in one place was becoming stagnant, but he was doing it for Lucas. There would be no more dragging him from one military base to the other, not when he would be left completely on his own now and the memory of what happened was a wound that had still not begun to soothe. He had made his peace with that, and now that he was able to put himself to use there were no internal complaints.
The possibilities of what could lie on the other side were endless, and he was already putting together a speculative team to join him. Her name stood out among the others, who had saved his life countless times and one of the only friends he'd made in life, Alicia Washington. She would go, no questions asked, had helped keep him sane after losing the love of his life. All he had to do was call, and she in all her fearless loyalty would come to him.
He liked to imagine the early morning hours were like they had been centuries ago, full of sweet and cool air that held the promise of the day. Ayani had made him watch dozens of documentaries on the subject, growing more determined they could reverse the damage they had done and fix the world. Silently he had disagreed, not that he would have told her that. It was past healing, a miracle needed.
But curiously, this morning did not feel as dire as the ones previous. After a moment of deliberation, he was able to pinpoint the reason why, it was hope. He was beginning to feel that hope she always had, as if a small piece of Ayani had finally come to comfort him again.
His thoughts of that and her were interrupted by his door swinging open without permission being asked for, something he had made clear he did not like. Not that he was obeyed, it seemed his esteemed authority fell flat when it came to his son.
"Sign this."
"I know knocking was one of the things we taught you. And stop rolling your eyes at me."
Yet another habit that had been picked up on, following everything he said. His son had grown impatient and angry when it came to him, refusing to allow him to teach him anything anymore. Teen angst, he was sure that was all it was. But Ayani would have been better suited for this, not him.
"Just sign it. I can live on the campus if I want, and I do but where I'm not eighteen you have to sign. Which is stupid if you ask me."
When he looked closely, at times not all that closely, he could still see the small boy who had clung to his leg or begged for a ride on his shoulders, even if so much had changed since then. He did not regret the decision to allow Lucas to attend the University. It is what his wife had been working towards for him, and he would honor that want; and it was where he was meant to be. Accepting his son would not follow in his footsteps had been hard, but he was careful not to show it. He would be a man of the sciences, and for that he would be proud.
"You weren't asked, and no."
This request would be one that was denied, not that he enjoyed telling Lucas no, not immune to only child syndrome himself. But his son belonged right here in his home with him, and that is where he would stay.
"Why!"
A raised voice at him was something he did not tolerate from his team of soldiers, and he would be damned to accept it from his son.
"Do not raise your voice at me again. Because I said so."
The paper was ripped in his hand as it was grabbed for, not that he had meant for it to be. A frustrated noise directed at him with his door slammed shut with disrespect he should not have tolerated in his own home following. But he let that go with a sigh and shake of his head. Starting yet another day by yelling at his son, there had to be another way for them to live that was not this.
His father was so asinine, stubborn and arrogant as he always was. If there was one thing he had learned, it was that his presence was merely tolerated, and not very well. He had found the solution for them both to get him out of here, and it had been ripped up in front of him just because his father was being an ass about it to make him miserable. He would have forged his name if he could have gotten away with it. Nobody understood what it felt like, to simultaneously want someone to love and accept you while also knowing you were their greatest disappointment and the source for their blame. It felt like he was being ripped in two, never knowing which side he was going to fall to.
Perhaps a softer tone would get Lucas to listen, it was not as if he were accustomed to any of this either, and he was growing so tired of this growing distance between them. Eyes were spitefully cut to him as he walked into their kitchen that was devoid of any personality now, missing the warmth Ayani had brought to it. Try to relate to the boy, that is what he would do.
"How about we start our morning over?"
A scoff he chose to ignore, mildly concerned with the attention that ripped up paper was getting now and continuing to go unanswered.
"Sit down here, tell your old man about these classes."
Pleased when that finally got a reaction, even if it was a lukewarm one. Instead of annoyance he was looked at with something akin to trepidation now, but when he scooted the empty chair across from him with his foot it was taken.
"They're actually pretty nice."
He nodded, leading the conversation on as it took turns he did not understand, but his son was talking to him and that was all that mattered. None of what got Lucas excited had ever interested him, being polite as he feigned an interest to simply be allowed to hold a conversation. How mathematics could ever be held in such a high esteem by anyone he would never wrap his mind around, but it had always been like this. After a moment it trailed off and got quiet, a curious look over his son's face as it appeared he was once again being sized up for one reason or another.
"What's on your mind?"
A small bounce of his head as if the question were preferable, still off in a world he did not know.
"I'm doing a presentation, a big one. We can have people come, if we want."
This is what he had been hoping for, smiling with a nod at the newly suspicious look.
"Of course I'll come, when?"
Maybe time was all that they had needed, time to process losing Ayani before coming back together. But the smile soon slid off his face, replaced by true disappointment. Why it could not have been any other day was all the proof he needed, the odds were conspiring against him. He was already trying to apologize, but Lucas was shaking his head and standing back up in the huff he always got now.
"I would if-"
"It's whatever, you don't have to pretend to be sorry. I bet if it was something to do with a uniform you would be there though, wouldn't you?"
"Lucas."
Never listened to, alone again in their home and trying not to dwell on that last statement. He knew a part of it was true, that he would be prouder if his son had shown any interest in that life. He was Nathaniel Taylor; his exploits were told in awe, and he would have enjoyed it if that legacy could have lived on. But if his son thought he did not respect what he could do, he was sorely wrong.
The headaches were getting worse, small flashes of blinding light behind his eyes that made it difficult to see. He could not believe he had allowed himself to get fooled by his father's false pretenses, should have known the attention he was getting was false. It was just a tactic to get his guard down and let him be about leaving to live on campus, and it had worked.
Isaiah was the only person he wanted to speak to, and while it was rare he was given what he wanted, this one time he was granted it; waiting for him on the street corner, yet another growth spurt putting him a head taller than everyone else and his hair even longer, knowing the smile under his mask was as bright as it always was.
When his hand took his, he did not question it. It was simply nature taking its course, two isolated, lonely people taking solace in one another; not recoiling at the feeling of being touched any longer but seeking it out. To be understood by someone was the greatest privilege to ever be granted, and their quiet walks had become the favorite part of his day.
It was her walk that had first caught his attention years ago, that sure-footed march she always did as if there was always an enemy up ahead. That was the kind of strut you wanted beside you in battle, and this was merely another fight of another kind.
"Alicia."
If only she knew how much it meant to him to see her here now, believing it may be reflected in her own eyes.
"Taylor."
His hand was gripped tightly in a shake, and that was all the welcome home greeting they needed. He had always liked that about her, no nonsense and straight to business. He smiled as he walked in step with her, surveying the bustle around them all that a base was never without as she spoke.
"I can't say I missed all this."
What a military could do had always been fascinating to him, that boyish desire to take apart the machinery to see what it was that made it operate, never leaving.
"I used to enjoy base life."
She scoffed quietly as if that were the obvious answer, wondering if there was something further he needed to read into that. He had used to enjoy it, always so much work to do and duties to perform, but never again.
"I missed you though."
A real smile at genuine friendliness, something he had been without for so long.
"Oh yeah?"
"You're one of the only people I trust to be around. Of course I missed you."
That alone told of years of confidentiality and friendship, and he knew the mistake of isolation had been his doing only.
"Likewise."
The smile he got this time was sadder, and he knew it was Ayani she thought about then. But she done the one thing it was he needed, not to talk about her or have condolences offered, but to remain quiet and move on.
"So why did I finally get a call?"
"For something you have to see to believe it."
Wisely kept guarded, civilians forcibly forbidden, and the makings of a walkway being created. A swarm of people always surrounded it, trying to make out the workings of it all. For the first time he could even set aside his preference for combat and simply take in the wonder that science could be. Alicia was doing the same, chin resting on her forearm as they leaned against the railings, to view what could be.
"Where do they think it goes?"
"That's what they are trying to find out."
He mimicked her stance, still feeling the quiet respect of other military personnel that he was here. If only that respect could follow him in his home.
"Wherever it does, you're going through, aren't you?"
Adventure was one of the main callings of his life, never able to deny it.
"I am."
She gave him one of those knowing, tired smiles he knew so well.
"When its time, we'll do it together."
That was all he needed to hear, soothing him more than she would ever know. He did not need to acknowledge it when she briefly lay her hand over his in the comfort a friend, more of a promise than any spoken word could be.
It appeared not many people found quantum physics nearly as fascinating as he and his professors did, which was their sore loss in his opinion. What could be found just beneath the surface of everything had to be known, so many answers to questions he wasn't sure that he even had. Being alone would not have bothered him, crowds may not be his favorite and he could not get a group to hang onto his every word like his father could do, but he done well enough.
Besides, the one person who had yet to disappoint him was here, and that was all that mattered. The University was housed under a dome, where for a few brief moments you could breathe unassisted, ventilated air that did not choke you, where you could feel normal for a few moments of your life. Bio-engineered trees surrounded fake rolling hills, and sitting here with Isiah far away from the negativity of home was the only place he wanted to be.
"You're going to have to quit cutting school, you delinquent."
Said as a joke, but he could tell something was wrong. He could tell it the moment he had forgotten to feel happiness that someone, anyone, wanted to spend time with him but he could feel it now.
"It doesn't matter."
Whatever feeling was between them, it had always been an easy one. He had never been expected to change anything about himself, and he did not ask that either. Nothing was kept a secret, or rather it had not been before.
"What's wrong?"
Several long minutes in which he had already found several new designs in the fake grass passed before he was answered.
"My mom again, her breathing is getting worse, and we can't afford the medicine anymore. It's getting bad."
This was a story he already knew and sympathized with his entire heart.
"I wish there was a way to help her, I would."
But he was being trained to be another kind of doctor, not the one that could help here.
"I know you would. I'm already thinking of something, it'll be okay."
He had stopped believing anything would be okay a long time ago, but chose to keep that to himself, not liking the unsteady feeling inside and a faint throbbing of a promised headache already forming.
Home was supposed to be silent, that is what he had gotten used to. To hear laughing and a conversation that had apparently been had for quite some time felt like a confusing intrusion, confusing even more to see who it was between.
His father and Alicia, who for a brief second, he had been happy to recognize. Over the years she had felt like a quasi-family member, always around. But then to see her pouring a shot of whiskey into one of his mother's special glasses she had scarcely used while trading old war stories with his father who seemed too eager to share her company, it had turned into a seething rage.
Not only was the blame for what happened directed at him every single day, never allowing him to forget; but it seemed his mother was being pushed to the side as well. He should have known, she was barely gone but here Alicia was, sitting where she should have been and throwing herself at the vacant spot she had left; his father more than happy to allow that and the reason he had refused to be near him today.
He had never missed his mother as much as he did now, feeling completely and utterly alone.
A slamming door was the only signal he received that his son was home, sitting his drink down with a sigh and Alica promptly picking it up for herself to not go to waste.
"I don't know about him anymore."
"Want me to talk to him?"
Briefly considered for a moment, before deciding against it.
"No. But it's as if I can't do anything right anymore in his eyes. Anything I try, just nothing."
"Give him his space and give him some time."
It was not if the advice she gave was not good, but he feared if he did just that, his son was going to drift so far away he would never get him back.
