I wish that I knew other paras.

I don't know that I'd like living out in the wild getting snowed on or anything, but because trainers usually only have one of a kind of pokemon, it means none of the other pokemon here are paras. They tell me when I complain that it's that I'm a cute little baby who hatched practically yesterday and I shouldn't get all fussed and serious about having trouble, and maybe they're right. But nobody else ever just says stuff, like, "Food!" like some excited idiot every mealtime, or shrieks and skitters at bright light when like I'm not scared at all, really! Light is kinda nice actually when it's not too hot and you can go get a drink if you need to! They say it's normal to just do stuff and as you get older you have a better handle on reflexes and impulses, and it's just I'm still growing. But it really feels sometimes like my body does stuff first and then tells me what it was after, and then I've gotta be like, no, I meant to do that, I knew the hot pavement would be kind of hot and it's not hot enough to actually hurt and it'll only be for a couple seconds to get across the street and back to the shade. One time that took me five tries! Or when I get a checkup at the pokecenter and I know it's time for shots and they tell me it's time for shots and I'm like okay it's time for shots this is fine it doesn't even hurt much and it's way better than getting sick, and then I always scream and flail and start crying like it's a surprise attack anyway and it's so embarrassing.

The only time anybody else seems to feel like I do is when my trainer plays videogames. She gets all frustrated and swears about lag and bad controllers, because she pressed jump or attack or right or left and the little person in the screen doesn't do it like she's saying. This one time she tried to jump off the side of a roof, only something went wrong and the her in the game fell off and grabbed the ledge, and then climbed back up, and then fell and so on, and I said, "See! That's just like when I kept climbing back up the curb over and over when I was trying to go across the street!" but Marcy just said, "She's not doing that because she's scared of hot pavement, it's a glitch," because she never believes me when I say I wasn't scared. She's so graceful and fast and in-control all the time and I find it hard to believe she's ever felt like me even back when she was a baby. I mean she's got wings and I haven't so that's why she can fly and I can't, and I know pidgey have to learn to fly so she can't have always been great at everything, but I think even if I had wings and a million years of practice I don't know how I could flap them so fast in that perfectly paced humming rhythm and swoop around like she does. I'm always either doing something long after I decide to do it or doing something way before I decided to do anything. But Marcy just tells me not to put myself down so much and that I'll get it one day.

And I mean like maybe they're right and I'll just grow out of it but it feels really different from how everyone else acts. Sometimes I'll try to move my leg one way and it feels like there's a different muscle pulling the opposite way, like my body just doesn't do what I mean it to do. And I know about reflexes and all but there's all the times I say a word without even realizing I saw the thing in the first place, like the words just come out of nowhere, and words are supposed to be what you're thinking about, aren't they?

So yeah, I wish I knew more paras and I could ask them if they ever feel like that too.