He still... was.

Nothingness surrounded him but somehow it didn't feel empty. It made little sense. But he still existed.

He fought against Se- All for One. He had destroyed him and himself in the process, with that Deku's help.

He clearly remembered dying, his body falling apart completely.

And he remembered his last effort, an attempt to transfer One for All back to Deku. If anyone deserved that overpowered Quirk, it was that kid. The only hero Tomura could respect. One of the few people who truly cared about him. One of the few...

A pain pierced his heart.

Kurogiri. Until the last moment trying to help him, to fight for him, even if he clearly had no power left in him anymore, even if he clearly could barely stand, not to mention using Warpgate.

He hoped Kuro survived. But even if he did, then what? Tartarus again? Or would the Commission find him an interesting specimen to dissect and analyze?

Fuck, Tomura failed them all.

Se- All for One was right. He was a failure, a loser. All his life swallowing happily AfO's lies, all his life gladly dancing to AfO's tune. And his friends? What about them? Were they alive? Dead, or imprisoned, most likely. Gone was Tomura's dream, gone was his conviction that he was something else, that he would destroy the world. Foolish, naive, loser.

And what was he even, now?

He remembered clearly all the previous One for All users, he remembered the last conversation All for One had with his younger brother – it seemed the precious Quirk was created for the sole purpose of reuniting two brothers. So... those vestiges... were they souls? Was this one of All for One's experiments on immortality? Was it what Tomura was now? A soul trapped in... ...that Deku's body, most likely.

Well, at least he was alive? Was it better, to be imprisoned here, or to not exist at all?

Both were equally repulsive thoughts. This wasn't what he wanted to become. He was supposed to destroy the fucking world, to become the ultimate villain that would bring down the very idea of villainry and heroics. And he failed. And he became nothing. But wasn't he always?

At least he had killed All for One. One solace, a huge one. He had killed a man even All Might had failed to kill. A man who prided himself on being the smartest, the most influential, the most powerful. But would he even do it without his grandmother's help? He remembered clearly how All for One squashed him easily, how the old villain's powerful will pushed Tomura deep inside, sneering, showing him his place, proving he had always been nothing but a future vessel. Would he have been able to fight back without all those previous users? ...Yes, he was a loser, that was what he was. Unable to do anything on his own.

At least, he made sure that Deku kid, maybe, would have a chance to lead the hero society in the better direction. This Quirk would surely make him a Number One, wouldn't it?

He snorted to himself. Like they'd listen. There had been many good people in the history of the world, and the world still was rotten.

If he was here, a thought occurred to him, were other users here too? Had they come back with him? He felt no presence other than what surrounded him, which probably was Deku's mind, him buried somewhere deep inside. It wasn't dissimilar to when All for One pushed him to the back of his mind, winning control over Tomura's body.

But he felt no one else. During the fight he had seen they had a will of their own... could they decide not to follow Tomura? Had they decided with AfO's death they finally deserved to die? Had they had enough of living in the back of someone's mind for decades? Would that mean Deku... but he should have One for All, now shouldn't he? That was the Quirk Tomura had been in possession of when he had died after all? Even if they had died, this Quirk should be still here.

Tomura had no idea how to check it. Nothingness surrounded him and it felt like he was on the bottom of an ocean, if an ocean were a sphere, enveloping him from all directions. He remembered how he was fighting against All for One. It was like trying to make yourself bigger, to take up more space, trying to again fill up the body.

...Then again was it what he wanted to do to Deku? Was the brat even aware he was there? He had to be, he had Tomura's Quirk now, after all.

But Tomura remembered well how it felt to have another in your mind, jostling around, taking space, just being there. He loathed it. Your body should be only yours. Sometimes it was the only thing you had left in the world that was only yours and the only space you could seek refuge in. So, he hesitated before making a move, before trying to make his presence stronger.

...but he only intented to peek, surreptitiously, to see what had happened to Kurogiri, to Spinner, to Dabi, to Toga, to Compress, nothing more...

He realized the very want to know what was happening affected him, he was just a soul, a mind now after all, and he felt closer to the still distant surface. He could sense the muffled emotions of the kid. It was pain, great pain, though nothing comparable to what Tomura had been through when All for One and the Doctor had been preparing his body, exhaustion, and relief, a very deep relief, and a hint of sadness too.

Should he give him some time and reach out to him later, not right after the battle? Tomura never had been the most empathetic human in the world, All for One had been always encouraging him to pursue only his own needs, his own interests, he had been assuring him this was how the world worked and this was the path to greatness. So Tomura had always been focusing only on his own aims and wishes. But this boy had made an effort to understand Tomura, to focus on him, the enemy, instead of on his own desires. So Tomura wouldn't be worse.

(than some goddamn hero)

Besides what would knowing even change? Could he ask Deku to... what? Protect Kurogiri from the Commission? Soften the sentence for the League? It wasn't feasible even if that boy was disgustedly good enough to make the effort. He had won, yes, his role had been crucial, but he hadn't done it alone and he still was just a kid with a provisional license, who could do fat big nothing against the Commission, against the fucked up judiciary system, against society's pressure to punish the villains who had drowned Japan in domestic war.

So, despite his burning need to know what pathetic fate heroes would concoct for his friends, he forced himself back, smaller, he curled up. He wouldn't do this to that boy. He wouldn't be like All for One anymore. He wouldn't put his needs, his personal sympathies, above people like that kid. He took a deep, steadying breath and almost laughed at how a mind couldn't get over what it had been used to and even now it almost felt like he had some kind of body, not real, a lot like a dream body, like some kind of projection. Well, this was his life now, this was what he should get used to. He loathed it already, the inactiveness, the lack of any stimuli, he loathed that he had become a mere shadow of what he had used to be. But he had not done, what he had done for the boy, to demand anything in return, to fuck up this much too good brat's life with his presence in his mind which should be his most private place. He wouldn't do that.

He wasn't All for One.

888

It wasn't as bad as he expected. Maybe the Quirk was designed in such a way that souls would find it bearable to spend eternity deep in someone's mind. It made sense. Other way, they would go insane. And All for One would not want his precious brother to go insane. Probably. Whatever the case, Tomura found himself dozing most of the time, sometimes plagued by nightmares either being jumbled memories of his past or some bleak horrors of the dark would-be future, sometimes completely dreamlessly and the latter he found surprisingly soothing. When was the last time he could sleep undisturbed by pain, by itching, by All for One's training, by thinking about his future, by thinking about his past? There were no burdens here, no expectations, no responsibilities to fuck up, no people to fail. A part of him truly loathed himself for liking this, it was just further proof he was a loser because only a loser would enjoy the passiveness, but then again the truth was his life had been shit and he was fucking exhausted, he truly was.

There still wasn't a single trace of anyone else here and he started to think he had been right – they all had eagerly died. Only he wanted this Quirk to go on, and got stuck in that boy's mind. But their absence wasn't bad. The last thing he needed was a bunch of heroes, who he had fought against, by his side for eternity.

He had no idea how much time had passed, while he was resting like this, enjoying the peace he had never thought was something he'd ever neither have nor enjoy. But finally, after... quite long? He didn't know, it felt pretty long, he realized he missed his friends more and more. The dreams were more and more often about them, about laughing Touga, about Twice fooling around, about Spinner looking at him as if Tomura was going to be the next savior, about Compress' ridiculous tricks, even about Dabi's sarcastic remarks.

And Kurogiri. He dreamt a lot about Kurogiri, the constant presence since he had been taken in by All for One, bringing him creams for skin, preparing the food always nauseous Tomura might want to eat, being by his side when he had been waking up from his nightmares, watching him worriedly when he had been playing his games trying to forget about everything, always there.

And they were there, outside, somewhere, hopefully.

So maybe it was high time to surreptitiously take a peek. Maybe the boy wouldn't notice. Maybe the boy wouldn't care. He had agreed to take One for All from All Might after all, right? He knew what it meant – that he would have people in his mind. Well, surely, he never expected Tomura, a villain, but oh well. Tomura would just bunker back in the back of his mind after hearing about his friends. He would. It wasn't like he would enjoy actually being in some goddamn hero teenager's mind.

So he let his presence spread a bit and focused on feelings from the surface. It was... surprisingly quiet. Peaceful. He could barely feel a thing. It certainly wasn't like straight after the battle. And certainly wasn't like Tomura's own mind had felt like when he had been... ...alive.

He felt irritated he had thought that. He still was alive just...

...useless, incapable of doing anything anymore.

He huffed irritably and reached out a little bit more.

Now he could feel the body better. He could feel the heart beating slowly, steadily, but not slow enough for it to suggest Deku was sleeping. And, he was correct about it since quickly he realized the boy was sitting, his brain focused on something, but Tomura was still too deep inside, too small himself, to feel any of his thoughts. He could feel a slight pain in the hands. Right, One for All used to tear the kid apart. What the hell had been All Might thinking, anyway? Right, this kid was something else, Tomura could easily see that now, maybe All Might had too...

...no, who was he kidding, that stupid oaf wasn't that smart. If anything, maybe the previous owners had chosen the kid. Not caring much about what it would do to his body. Typical... he'd say "heroes" but wasn't All for One the same? So typical people. Humans. Fuck them all. It was ridiculous that 'humane' meant something good, he always thought that.

The kid's hands were moving slightly, mostly his fingers, something was in them, they were moving to the right, ah, writing. But that was the extent of it. He couldn't hear or see anything more. Should he call out? Should he warn the boy about his presence?

But he felt the curiosity overtaking him... how far could he go without being noticed? Maybe he could just peek out and see the world without bothering the boy? That probably would be best for both of them.

So he extended his presence more, very slowly and as gently as it was possible when you were basically pushing against someone else's mind, taking its space.

And then he heard Present Mic's voice, apparently explaining the differences in local varieties of English. He saw a notebook, right in front of his eyes, and familiar extremely scarred hands writing everything down in a blur, even though it made the hands ache. Right, this was Yuuei, the kid was in the middle of a lesson. Fat lot this was going to tell Tomura about his friends. He huffed and decided to go back and it was only then that he noticed what he should have noticed the moment he went that far. The focus was on him.

He froze.

But he could clearly feel it. The mind was empty of any thoughts, only a little part absentmindedly taking notes, but most of it just watching and listening to him.

He huffed again irritably with his nonexistent mouth. He again thought how funny it was that even if he didn't have a body anymore, his mind still stubbornly clung to the illusion of it.

'It's me,' he sent a clear thought towards Deku's mind. 'Don't worry, I didn't come to take over your body. Tell me about my friends and you won't feel me ever again.'

There was a surprise.

'You're... not All for One?'

'Fuck All for One. Didn't he die?'

The kid was still surprised and wary. Well, no wonder. Tomura was a villain that used to want to destroy everything. He could see the cogs whirling, clearly but with impressive speed, he could barely follow. The brat was truly smart, probably smarter than him if he could judge from how quickly he was analyzing things, bitter realization as it was. He could see the kid reviewing quickly the last memory of him and a lot of other memories too, of how quickly One for All was leaving, of how he hadn't felt any presence before, no new Quirks.

'Wait, wait, wait, what do you mean no new Quirks?' No, right, All for One's Quirks were fighting against him, were falling apart, it made sense but... 'What about Decay? You should have Decay. I am here, after all.'

He could see the boy blinking and feel his growing confusion. 'If I had it would it activate immediately? Other Quirks did not. I didn't have Black Whip from the beginning, nor Float- No, wait, wait, wait...' The boy took a deep breath. 'You... gave me One for All back?'

Tomura bristled in advance. He needed no gratitude nor suspicions.

'I did.' (You deserved it, stupid brat.) A thought appeared in the back of his mind, immediately squashed. He fucking hoped the brat did not hear it. He'd never say such a thing to a goddamn hero. (But this was one hero he respected.) 'You can do whatever you want with it, I don't care. Just tell me whether my friends are alive, and I'm gone. Don't think being in your ridiculous mind is pleasant.'

There was a wave of guilt. What? But right, this kid was disgustedly kind. He was going to die in this fucked up rotten world (so he needed this Quirk back).

'Shut up. Don't fucking pity me. My. Friends.'

"Midoriya-kun?"

Oh, fuck. Right, the kid became so engrossed in the internal conversation he stopped taking notes and probably stopped paying attention to the surroundings.

'I'll come back later.'

'Wait!'

But Tomura was already curling back again, into the faraway depths of this mind.

And when he did, he realized it did not feel as peaceful and soothing as before, now that he had tasted again, even through someone else's body what it was to be alive again.

Well, he survived through worse, much worse. This was nothing compared to those months of pain that was supposed to make him a better vessel for All for One. He shuddered at the memory even if he had no body to shudder with.

888

It was really hard to judge the flow of time here, but after what he thought was... maybe a couple of hours? he dared to reach out a little, to have the slightest idea what was going on. He immediately could feel the boy's stress, far away, as if through layers of water or mud or feathers or blankets or whatever, Tomura wasn't too good at some stupid comparisons. It was muffled and distant but it was there. Right - if Tomura understood the situation well, other users indeed were gone, so their Quirks were dying out too, which probably had made the boy think the whole Quirk was gone. It must have been quite a surprise to feel someone stirring inside. And Tomura, of all, too. Oh, well. At least the boy should have at least All for One.

...but All for One meant he would have to take Quirks from someone and that stupid idiot of a hero would probably never do it to anyone. Well, at least Decay should still be here, so the idiot brat wasn't completely defenseless.

He wondered if the kid finished lessons already. Nah, it probably was a little too soon. Probably. And how many days had actually passed? They had lessons already so probably quite some...? How was Kurogiri? How were the others? He was itching to know that, now that he had successfully seen a glimpse of reality, but he knew well he had to be patient. And he had to remind himself that after getting that information he was going back down. He would never ruin the idiot kid's life by breathing over his ear. He didn't give the boy his Quirk for his own survival. He remembered well how disgusting and aggravating was to have another in his mind, and he would not do it to this kid, as he knew well the kid would never do to him. He would go back to sleep and be satisfied by dreams and memories. He wasn't a brat thinking only about himself anymore.

So, he waited patiently.

It felt long and short at the same time, most weird feeling, when he finally was sure he felt Deku trying to search for him inside his own mind, he could clearly feel the kid trying to focus on Tomura, and failing at that. It was good to know he wouldn't be able to find him if Tomura did not want to. So he let himself grow stronger and he felt Deku noticing him instantly.

'My friends,' he said immediately. As he grew bigger he noticed the kid was sitting in front of the big window, some grass and trees visible outside. Was it Yuuei? Probably.

'Ah, right.'

Tomura felt the stupid brat go soft inside, apparently touched by Tomura's bond with his League. So he said, 'Fuck you, by the way.'

A shade of confusion, a shade of... amusement, though extremely light, barely perceptible, then it was all drowned in graveness.

'Dabi and Himiko Touga are dead...' The boy truly seemed pained to tell him that, truly felt sorry for both villains, not that Tomura was paying much attention. They were dead. This was where Tomura's leadership led them.

'Himiko... Himiko actually won. She could have survived easily. She died to save my friend,' The pain in the kid's mind intensified so much it was almost physical. (Why the fuck he'd feel that way? She was a villain). Wait, what?

'Bullshit. Why would she do that?' This made no sense.

Deku was quiet, random memories of Himiko in his mind, and of words of that Uravity girl about Touga's death, about how she just wanted to love and be truly loved. Stupid fucking brat. Why would she do that? Why would she let her emotions cloud her mind so badly to die for some goddamn hero? But she always had been all emotions and no brain. (all love, and caring for her friends, caring for Tomura-kun).

'And Dabi?'

'He tried to kill his family and... himself in... an extremely powerful attack... but in the end, his family survived but he burned himself beyond any help... He lived for a few weeks under the most advanced life support. Shouto said... he died no longer hating them.'

Stupid idiot, too. But Tomura could always see madness in those blue eyes whenever Endeavor and his family were mentioned. Dabi had always wanted to destroy them and would burn everything, including himself, to achieve that. Including them too. Tomura had done something Dabi had never known about – he had asked Chikazoku to show him the whole video of Twice's murder. He had wanted to see once more how Hawks had done it... and he had seen what he had not expected, at all. What had made him doubt Dabi's friendship. Still, he had been fighting by their side, even if only for his own aim.

'Others?' If they all were dead... If Kurogiri was dead...

'Spinner and Mr Compress are in prison. Spinner is in a normal type of prison but Mr Compress is in a high security one.' The boy thought with guilt and... a hint of anger? Tomura could sense the shadow of a thought, of a memory of the conversation about Tartarus, about the conditions in which the prisoners were held. Well, it was a good kid. Of course he wouldn't be blind to what 'good people' were doing to those who dared to try to overturn the system.

Still, fuck... How would Mr Compress survive that? Wouldn't it drive a man like him mad? But there wasn't anything Tomura could do.

'I could try to pull some strings. His Quirk is very useful. I know Hawks is already working on getting rid of places like Tartarus.'

Tomura snorted. 'You think Hawks has a power like that? He'll dance to the Commission's tune.'

'He's the president now.'

Tomura would blink if he could.

'What, not Mera?'

'Actually, it was Mera-san's idea.'

Tomura thought of Hawks. Hawks had killed Twice, probably the best, kindest, purest member of their League. But Tomura had seen the video – the same Hawks had risked his very life trying to persuade Twice; the same Hawks had shoved Twice away from Dabi's flames. Maybe he wasn't a bad person. Or maybe he simply had liked Twice. Some people divided the world into people they liked, worth letting live, and people they did not care about, who could die.

'I think he is a very good person,' the kid protested.

'I think you think that about everyone.'

'No, I don't.' {All for One} – he could feel Izuku's quiet thought crossing the boy's mind.

'Bullshit, you told him he was just lonely,' he sneered. He clearly remembered that bullshit.

'He was,' protested Izuku. 'But he was also evil enough to ruin everybody's life for his own dream.'

'Is that really so bad?' Tomura thought before he realized what he had thought. If All for One's pursuit wasn't bad, then everything that he had done to Tomura wasn't bad, was excusable, was understandable. And was it?

Fuck no.

He realized the kid was listening to his mind in silence. Fuck. He not only could feel the brat's thoughts and feelings but it definitely worked the other way too.

'Sorry,' thought Izuku. 'I- It was different with other users. I couldn't feel their mind like I can feel yours. Maybe it was because they were usually deep inside? I usually met them in my dreams? And you're like, close, filling me, so this is probably...'

'You're mumbling it out loud.'

A wave of embarrassment which was quite amusing. The wave intensified at that and Tomura felt irritated with himself. He had promised himself not to fuck with the boy, promised to let him live his life. Deku had viewed him as a human being, as a person of the same worth as others, so it wasn't right to treat the kid like shit now.

'It's, it's okay, I know I should work on this, people give me weird looks.'

'Fuck people.'

Then he braced himself.

'...and Kurogiri?' He didn't have heart but he'd swear he felt it thundering. Stupid mind.

'He...' The boy hesitated and Tomura felt his pain and guilt again. Oh no no no no. 'No, no, he's alive!' The boy noticed Tomura's reaction, of course he did. 'I mean, at the beginning, they took him to some kind of scientific facility-'

Of course they had.

'-but Eraser Head almost literally shook the whole world and bothered every single person of power to treat Kurogiri as a person and as a victim.'

What?

'He is right now in a high-security prison but I know that the villains who have cases in court of being recognized as victims usually are moved to more comfortable cells, so hopefully it is not that bad with him.'

Eraser Head. Tomura always thought highly of him.

A memory came, of Kurogiri warping the heroes to fight him and All for One, Eraser Head among them, of Kurogiri apologizing to Aizawa and Yamada. What had those two do for him when he had been in Tartarus? Why had they done it? Whatever they had done, Tomura would be grateful. Fat fuck it meant now, though.

'Thank you,' he said.

'Wait!'

Tomura supposed if the kid was kind enough to heed his wish, he could as well answer whatever questions Deku had.

'...Are you sure All for One hadn't come with you?'

(I'd fucking kill him myself, strangle him in your fucking mind)

'I feel absolutely no presence but you and me here.'

'Can he be hiding?'

'He died before me, remember?'

'You're sure?'

'I am fucking sure.'

The kid was apologetic. 'I am sorry. But he was cunning and-'

'Yeah, tell me about it.'

The boy felt even more apologetic now.

'Anything else?'

'You don't have to stay there,' said Deku and Tomura could feel this was a firm decision, there was no hesitation, no apprehension, no disgust.

'No,' he answered equally firmly. A memory came, of All for One in his mind, at first gentle, just nudging, suggesting a course of action, then taking control under the pretense it was for his own good and- (a vessel)

'No ,' Deku was angry now, angry at that memory, angry at All for One. Stupid pure kid. 'This is something else. I want you to stay. I am happy that you're alive.'

Normally, if he wasn't able to see the stupid brat's mind, he'd laugh out loud at that. Happy that Tomura Shigaraki was alive. Happy to have him in mind, in the very soul, in the most private place, the only place truly yours. He'd fucking sputter at that. But when the brat had said those words Tomura could feel his genuine relief, and sadness, and fucking guilt, and there was the memory of himself, falling apart, the stupid brat realizing he couldn't save Tenko, that he killed the one that was only a victim.

'Stop fucking pitying me. I'd have fucking killed you, remember? I wouldn't stop to think you're a human being. Don't you play hero with me.' (Everyone pretended they couldn't see him, there was no one, no hero, no police, no stranger, no hero, but this was orchestrated by this monster, he knew that now)

'I am sorry I am happy I haven't killed you.' The kid still felt sad, and now tired and somewhat exasperated a little? 'I am sorry I am happy I haven't killed someone who did not deserve that. But. most importantly, I don't want to be a walking prison for you. No one deserves that. You don't deserve that. And I don't think I deserve that either.'

'Sorry for that,' snapped Tomura. 'Maybe should have kept my Quirk to myself and died with it.'

'I didn't mean it that way!' The kid was irritated and again Tomura found it amusing but forced it away. This kid was one of the people he did not intend to be mean to. Like, really mean. 'I just want this to work somehow?'

Work? The hell was this kid talking about?

Deku took a deep breath. 'Why do you want to go back to nothing? There aren't even any other souls there.'

(because you deserve better, you little stupid shit)

'Exactly!'

Fuckfuck. He fucking noticed that little thought.

'I will feel worse with you hidden away than with you around. I-'

(better to see the wasp?)

'No!'

'I didn't really mean that.' Fuck, he hated that the kid could feel everything in his mind.

The boy's irritation and agitation suddenly dropped and, instead. there was that guilt again.

'Sorry,' he thought. 'Sorry. You're right. Of course you don't want me to be in your mind.' He sighed, like, with his physical mouth, Tomura could feel it. 'I just- I just thought you'd want to at least take some part in life. I could give you control of my body-'

'HAVE YOU FUCKING LOST YOUR MIND?!'

Had he just screamed in the boy's mind? He apparently did. It had to be most unpleasant.

Deku fell quiet, a little bit stunned by the reaction. Tomura wanted to rub his nonexistent temples. 'Never ever fucking say bullshit like that to anyone. Never fucking ever give the fucking control of your own fucking body, you fucking stupid, braindead, self-sacrificing moron! I did not give you this Quirk for you to have your fucking life ruined! After what that fucker did to me you think I'd do it to you?!'

'It's different I told you!'

'Fuck you!'

And he curled up into himself-

'No, wait!'

-forcing his presence back-

'Tenko, please!

'Fuck you, never allowed you to call me fucking Tenko.'

-to the depths of that stupid ridiculous apparently willing to fucking get himself used and killed by a villain brat.

888

Notes:

Deku does not intend to give up his body completely, Tomura just did not let him finish ;)