Tomura settled again deep in Deku's mind but he couldn't regain even a semblance of peace of mind. He kept fuming at the ridiculous, self-sacrificing, lacking any imagination, suffering from hero complex idiot brat.

'I could give you control of my body'

What.

The.

Everlasting.

Reeking.

FUCK.

Tomura reached out to scratch his face in frustration but the familiar pain didn't come. Fuck, he couldn't even release his emotions in the best way, not without a proper body.

Oh, but he had a body, all he had to do was to ask the stupid little shit to give Tomura his own, cause the fucking idiot was apparently willing to GIVE IT AWAY.

Tomura groaned, infuriated.

What was fucking WRONG with that kid?!

And what was more worrying, how long the idiot would survive, with such an attitude?

Admittedly, he held himself pretty decently against All for One, against Shigaraki, but only a low-level Noumu would not notice his obvious suicidal tendencies. Okay, the kid obviously wasn't suicidal per se, but he clearly saw no problem in maiming or killing himself in the process of saving someone, even a villain.

(isn't this how heroes should be, though?)

He frowned at his thought. Yeah, kind of, probably. In an ideal world, yes. This was their job for which they were gaining fame, love, and money. But this wasn't an ideal world, it was a world full of evil people, among both villains and heroes, and good kids like Deku were going to be six feet under in a second. It was a fucking miracle the boy was still alive.

...Was it?

Maybe Tomura-

(Tenko, he called him Tenko)

He shook away the thought, he hadn't been Tenko for years. He was Tomura, that was who he was. He no longer was a little crying kid, dreaming of becoming a hero, dreaming of being saved by a hero.

('ARE YOU THERE?!')

Tomura sighed.

The kid survived All for One, the most manipulative man that probably had ever existed. So maybe he wasn't that stupid.

So...

...why?

Why the brat would say a thing like that?

What the hell was wrong with him?

He recalled the boy's memory of Tomura's death. There was guilt in there, Tomura remembered that. There was a lot of that when he was speaking with Tomura too.

'I don't want to be a walking prison for you. No one deserves that. You don't deserve that. '

Stupid brat. He felt bad about the consequences of Tomura's own decision. What an idiot.

He sighed again.

The brat was good. Too good.

(another person caring, actually caring about Tomura)

Well, it would be best for the boy if Tomura stayed deep inside. Let the kid live his life. And Tomura would doze for eternity.

...or at least until the kid gave this Quirk to someone else, and wound up by Tomura's side after his own death.

(it was a nice perspective)

'I can't believe I fucking actually thought that,' sighed Tomura. 'Time to sleep, since apparently my mind is already doing it.'

888

He knew he had made a mistake. He never should have resurfaced. He never should have talked to the boy. Before, when he had been sleeping here it hadn't been bad. There were nightmares, granted, he had missed and worried about his friends, true, but it was quite bearable if you just assumed this was how it should be from now on, forever. Now, the longer he was here the more he thought about that stupid kid doing some stupid bullshit like feeling guilty Tomura was holed down here, about his Kurogiri and the trial that was supposed to prove him a victim, not a villain, about Compress in a white cell with no book, no TV, nothing to distract and who knew if not permanently bound to a bedchair.

Tomura had his resolve. The resolve was to not fuck up Deku's life. But the more he thought about how they had ended their conversation, the more he was sure the stupid kid was probably blaming himself.

So, maybe he should speak to him again?

He probably should.

He knew now well it would be even more difficult to go back. But he would go back. He had gone through hell, before, because he had been determined. This was nothing in comparison.

So, he again gently let himself grow a little bigger, closer to the outside world. Again, the first thing he felt was very distant emotions, some frustration? Worry? Guilt? Hah, guilt, of course. So Tomura was right. Stupid kid.

The stupid kid noticed him immediately. He must have been waiting for this, focused on any sign of activity on Tomura's side, of course, he would.

'Te- Shigaraki-san!'

Tomura froze.

(imbecile, truly)

Again, a little embarrassment filled the kid's mind.

'Just call me Tomura.'

('Shigaraki-san', really)

'S- Sorry.'

'And don't fucking apologize. Stop fucking apologizing to people. Do you want to get to the top or not?'

Deku was clearly unconvinced but kept his thoughts quiet. 'When I was talking about giving you my body, I meant lending it,' he said instead. 'I know it's... far from perfect but at least you'll be able to enjoy something again.' The kid again felt guilty and also wary of Tomura's reaction. The thoughts weren't verbalized but Tomura felt how the kid was reminded that Tomura wanted to destroy the whole world and what the kid was offering him now? A chance to play a videogame or eat an ice cream. Of course Tomura would be mad.

'I'm not mad,' he replied to those unspoken feelings. 'On the contrary, I think you're being ridiculously, dangerously-for-yourself kind. Would you really lend me your body?'

(idiot)

'Yes,' Deku again sounded determined, though Tomura sensed he was aware of what that meant and what could Tomura possibly do. But he also felt the stupid, ridiculous, naive kid trusted him not to.

'You fucking trust me.'

(what a fucking moron, really)

'Well, someone who would want to use me wouldn't behave like you do.'

'Maybe I'm just lying.'

'I can see your mind, remember?' The kid thought, clearly contrite.

Right.

Still.

'I don't need that. And besides, imagine, one day you'll want to have a family. Then-'

'No.'

No?

Deku nodded, with his actual head, the ridiculous kid. 'I don't want to. I want to be a hero. This is not a good profession to have a family in.' {and die on them}

'You can always die, no matter what you're doing with your life,' Tomura murmured, er, thought quietly? This was so weird at moments.

{really. Comparing a hero's job to any other}

'Oh, fine,' Tomura agreed. The kid was right, this was far more dangerous than most other professions. (how many heroes had died at his and All for One's hands?) 'Still, heroes do have families. Someone will fall in love with you one day.' It occurred to him what he had just said. For fuck's sake, living in All Might's brat's mind was less surreal than him speaking shit like that to that kid.

The kid actually felt a little irritated at that. 'I am not a child anymore. I know very well what a hero's life looks like, it's not only that my family would live in constant fear for me-'

A memory crossed the boy's mind, of Shouto shouting for his father as he had been watching him fighting Hood.

'-but I also would have to work at all hours-'

{I don't imagine it any other way, people are dying out there}

Ah, so he would become one of those workaholic heroes. So maybe Tomura truly should stay closer to the surface, if only to make sure the kid wouldn't die of karoushi.

Deku stopped and actually grinned, amicable amusement filling his mind.

'You see, you'll be needed.'

Tomura felt exasperated and truly bewildered by that brat.

'You'll truly regret that.'

'No, I won't. You have been trained all your life by All for One? I saw you fight. I could use your help in my training. Especially if Decay activates.' But there was strong doubt in the last sentence.

"You don't think you have Decay?" It made no sense, it was Tomura-s- 'You think it didn't come with me because it wasn't my original Quirk?'

The kid was quiet, wary of Tomura's reaction.

'But you still have One for All, right? I am here, I wouldn't be here if this Quirk didn't work, I wouldn't be able to move into your mind.'

'Yes, I think I have it. But... it still technically leaves me Quirkless.'

That made no sense, the-

But the other users were gone. Decay, and, actually, All for One too, weren't Tomura's original Quirks. Which would mean he only had One for All when he had been doing the last thing in his life... Which meant...

...he gave Deku exactly nothing. Nothing at all. No useful Quirk.

All this was for...

...nothing.

He screamed.

888

He probably should go back now that his-

(temper tantrum)

The thought sounded so much like Dabi.

But Dabi was dead, and he had never really cared for Tomura anyway, the more Tomura thought about it.

He sighed.

The stupid kid was probably overwrought with worry about Tomura after Tomura's-

(temper tantrum)

'Well, yeah', he admitted grudgingly.

...And then he had just flown back here, still infuriated with... ...hatred towards himself.

He fucking failed everyone. He couldn't do a single thing right. Even this.

All for One was fucking right.

He imagined taking a deep steadying breath and reached toward the surface. He hoped not much time passed.

He immediately felt the stupid kid's concern and, again, guilt, why the fuck guilt? The boy did nothing wrong.

Deku noticed him in an instant.

'Tomura-san,' he thought worriedly. 'I'm sorry your plan didn't work.' And the brat truly felt sorry for him. Tomura wanted to kick him in the face for that.

Of course the boy would immediately be aware of that feeling and grew contrite. 'Sorry,' he mumbled and Tomura was pretty sure he actually did mumble it out loud.

'Well, I am more sorry for you that you ended up with me in your mind for fucking nothing. And call me fucking Tomura, get it?'

'I don't regret it,' said the stupid kid stubbornly. 'You could help me with training, I have told you that. I don't have Quirks that came with One for All anymore, I don't have supernatural strength or resistance anymore. Maybe you could help me with adjusting my fighting style.'

'I had Decay, remember? All I had to do was to touch my opponent. Did not have to actually fight at all.'

He could feel a shade of disappointment in Deku though the kid tried to hide it.

(useless, you're useless)

'I still can use a gun like a pro and throw knives.'

The stupid kid immediately perked up. 'I'm not a gun person bu-'

'You should be,' Tomura snapped immediately angrily. 'You have no fucking Quirk and if you won't be using guns how the fuck will you fight long-distance Quirk users? Or simply people who, unlike you, 'are gun people'', he sneered a little.

But Deku's mind filled with something unexpected – pleasure and self-satisfaction, as if he just achieved something. 'Yes, that is what I'm talking about! You could help me a lot, giving a perspective of someone who spent his life among villains!' he exclaimed happily. Immediately he felt bad though. 'I mean, sorry, this wasn-'

'Oh, shut up, I did spend my whole life among villains.'

'Sorry,' stupid idiot repeated. Then he added, 'And you could help me with the whole system.'

'The whole system?' Stupid kid, a kid like him could do exactly nothing about 'the whole system'. Tomura wasn't an idiot, unlike this kid, he didn't have his head in the clouds, he read history books and knew only someone with power-

(someone like Sensei)

(fuck him)

-could change the world. People protested, and went on strikes, and started rebellions only to be squashed. At best the system had been changed for another, which would look prettier, but would serve the same purpose – oppressing the weak majority. What was needed was a major transformation, and one Quirkless kid couldn't do it.

'But surely we can achieve at least something?'

Tomura hated it. Hated the fact that he used to aim to destroy this whole world and now he was supposed to be satisfied with achieving 'at least something'.

And, of course, the kid felt guilty again, guilty for killing him, he could feel that.

So Tomura shrugged his nonexistent arms, hoping the kid would feel it somehow. 'I don't mind. I definitely prefer to do 'at least something' than sitting on my ass-'

(in nothingness)

(not that this kid's mind was a bad place)

The hell.

'-doing nothing,' he continued nevertheless, feeling irritated with himself.

'I'm glad!' He could feel the stupid kid almost clapping his hands. And yeah, he definitely said that out loud, too. 'We need a system to help people so that they wouldn't turn to villainry! And a proper rehabilitation for villains! And more therapists! And-'

Good luck achieving all that by yourself, kid, sighed Tomura before he recalled thinking was the same as talking out loud, here. 'Sorry, I'll help. But this is-'

Unachievable in your position, kid.

'I'm friends with All Might, remember? And I also have Hawks' private phone number! We will work on all that!'

'Sure,' sighed Tomura. This was not at all what was his dream. But at least he would be doing something.

Something, heh, he thought again bitterly.

'I would be grateful,' said the boy eagerly and he meant it. Tomura could feel underlining joy in the boy's mind from the fact that he got Tomura active, that he could undo what he had done to him at least a little. Holy Christ and his ABS.

'Kid. Let's make one thing clear. You have done me. No. Wrong. I tried to kill you and your friends, I tried to destroy your world, and you fucking fought back.

(and fought well)

And I knew perfectly well I was gonna die while decaying my body in order to kill AfO. So stop being a fuck who is taking away my own decisions from me.'

And, the kid of course said, 'Sorry.' Of course he did.

Tomura sighed.

'So, about this coexistence,' said Deku. 'I really am fine with having you around. I don't want you to stay, um, inside, and just wait for whenever I need you. Be here when you want, leave when you don't like being here. Don't think about me.'

'Why the fuck shouldn't I think about what makes you uncomfortable? Why the fuck you can play a good human being and I shouldn't?'

'Because you're the one stuck here.'

'You're the one stuck with me.'

'I can do whatever I want, the only slight inconvenience-'

Slight inconvenience? Having Tomura in his head was a slight inconvenience for Deku? What the hell was wrong with the kid, seriously?

'-is to have-

{Venom}

-you-'

'Wait, wait, what did you just think?'

The kid got embarrassed. 'Sorry, it just crossed my mind- There is this old movie-'

'I saw Venom, I read the comics.' Tomura loved Venom.

'I love it too!' replied the kid enthusiastically.

Tomura wished he could stare at the boy. 'You're unhinged,' he concluded but a part of him felt lighter and he couldn't help but smile or well, feel like he was smiling.

The boy responded to it like a flower to the fucking Sun, immediately filled with joy at Tomura's reaction.

(the little fuck was happy that Tomura felt a bit better for a moment, what a stupid-)

(such a good kid)

'I suppose we'll just see how it's gonna go. But you said I can go back to sleep whenever I want, so I don't want any whining or guilt or anything when I do, alright?'

Deku nodded eagerly, with his head too.

(you don't have to do this, you little shit. You should have a normal life)

'You should have had that too.'

'You could at least have the simplest courtesy of pretending you didn't hear the thoughts that aren't directed at you.'

'Sorry,' said the kid, a little contrite. 'But it's not like we don't know we hear them anyway.'

Yeah, it was something to get used to.

'You won't like my mind,' warned Tomura.

'It's not that bad, so far.'

(stupid brat, stupid, too good brat)

'You probably should be seeing a therapist. Who finds it okay to have someone in your mind?'

...Someone lonely as fuck? Was this why he had seen a lonely man in All for One? Was he projecting his own issues? But this little shit was loved by everyone, right?

He could feel Deku itching to answer but stopping himself.

'Fine,' sighed Tomura. 'You are right, no point in pretending you can't hear all that.'

'I'm not lonely. But I never had a brother. And isn't this how it sort of is? Just instead of sharing the room and computer and toys we have to share my mind whether we like each other or not.'

What was wrong- No, fuck this, there was no point in asking this same question over and over again. If the kid really decided on this...

'Whatever,' Tomura said. 'So... you want me to just be around whenever I want?'

'Yes. And I truly wouldn't mind if we could, work on some schedule when you could use my body a-'

'NO.'

'Alright,' replied the boy meekly. 'At least we can have some time when I would be doing things you like? Things you're interested in?'

'Like decaying the world?' he spat and felt a little contrite. The kid was nothing if not helpful and kind and if Tomura was angry with himself for being a failure, that had nothing to do with him.

Of course, there was this guilt again in the boy's mind.

'We could read some history books. Especially biographies.'

That surprised the kid.

'What's so weird about me reading books? It's from books that I realized nothing short of complete destruction by someone with power could change things. You need either a total transformation or the world will stay the same.'

The kid was half-sad, half-thoughtful. '...it is difficult,' he agreed. 'But nothing good will ever come from bloodshed. Too many people craving revenge afterward.'

'Common people are weak,' murmured Tomura. 'Look at all the genocides in history, look at all the wars. How often the culprits were punished? Almost never. People are cowards, big in words, disappear when it comes to deeds.'

Some memory flashed, a bloodied boy, was that the next Ingenium?

'He attacked Stain in revenge,' explained Izuku. 'All he would have achieved would be his death. Not trying to even the score doesn't mean you're weak. It means you are bigger than that.'

Bullshit. But this kid truly believed that. He didn't hate Tomura even though Tomura had almost killed that Bakugou kid. Tomura remembered well the madness in the kid's eyes back then-

'I- I wasn't thinking!' Now the kid felt truly horrible about himself. 'I just reacted! I shouldn't have-'

'Fine, fine, brat, I know you're not like that. You don't hate me after all.'

'Still, if I somehow killed you back then-', the kid stopped, the vision so horrible for him he lost his words. But Tomura saw he would have never forgiven himself.

'Why? I was trying to slaughter you all.' He would have, back then, he'd have happily killed them all.

'I mean, if I killed you during a fight, accidentally, or because there simply was no other way - Well, it did happen, right? - this would be something else. I would be angry at myself that I have not managed to save you but... if I couldn't...'

'I get it, kid. It's a sane attitude if you want to be a hero. Sometimes it's just kill or be killed, no other way.'

'But it's completely different, to kill you out of revenge! In the heat of emotions! If I have a job like this, there is no place for emotions like that!' {there never should be a place for emotions like that}

'I get it. You're a good hero. Proper hero. You indeed, are bigger than revenging. But most people - I'd even risk to say, all people - aren't you, stupid. They are weak.'

He felt Deku giving up on trying to convince him. Good. Tomura wasn't a naive little angel like this kid, and it was good because at least one around here should actually use their brain to evaluate reality objectively.

The thought again made Deku perk up. The kid really wanted Tomura to see a reason to stay on the surface, apparently.

'You're fucking weirder than me,' he told the brat. Then he recalled a detail from their conversation. 'So, what about that Bakugou? Aren't you in love with him?'

The kid turned terribly embarrassed. Bull's eye? Tomura wasn't sure. He used to be a teenager but his life had consisted only of private education by All for One and tutors who belonged to his many 'friends', training, being sent on missions he could (or often couldn't, now he knew it had been part of All for One's plan, to undermine his self-esteem) handle, and sitting in the peace of his room, usually playing games, the only thing immersive enough to let him forget about itching skin or nausea or pain from received injuries. So he wasn't sure how your mind was supposed to look like when you thought about whoever was making your dick twitch.

Now the kid went extremely embarrassed.

'Dick,' repeated Tomura, fascinated with the effect.

'Stop it.'

'What the hell, you're sixteen, you can handle... penis. Member. Cock.'

Deku's cheeks were so hot now that-

-a memory flashed, very swiftly, barely noticeably, followed by Deku's utter horror.

Because it wasn't a memory, as Tomura might have expected, of some innocent first kiss, or maybe of a glimpse of that Bakugou's ass in the changing room.

This was a memory from the Gunga battle, in which Tomura had taken part naked, with only a cloak on him.

There fell a horrified silence.

It took all of Tomura's self-control and gathering all his conscience (which he prided to have, despite rumors) to behave like a decent human being, keeping in mind he was an unwelcome guest in this poor boy's mind, invading in his privacy, and that this was a sixteen-year-old gay. So he said, instead of torturing the hell out of All Might's kid, 'Thank you. I think it is very pretty, too.'

Deku seemed to be running a fever now. Tomura could feel the boy's face was in his hands now as if it could hide him from a guy residing in his own mind.

'Oh, for fuck's sake, get over it. So you're gay and you saw my dick and a horrible terrible no good very bad thought crossed your mind that it's nice. Christ, this is fucking normal at your age.'

'It's just- I don't want you to think I want you around to... take any sort of advantage of you!'

Tomura never in his life had thought he would ever miss blinking as much as he missed it now. Or ability to stare.

'What possible advantage can you take of me when I have, concentrate please, child, no body?'

'I mean, I still could think dirty things or talk dirty to you or-'

'And I can just go back inside.' Now this sounded wrong, in the context.

The proteins in Deku's cheeks would coagulate soon, he was sure of that.

'This is the thing! I don't- I want you to feel comfortable! You're in such a vulnerable position right now a-'

'If you ever again use 'vulnerable' in any sentence about me I'll fucking find a way to kill you, I swear. I'll strangle you with your own hands while you're asleep.'

There was a pause.

'I know you well by now, stupid kid. I know you'll not take any 'advantage' of me,' Tomura did his best to convey his imaginary rolling of eyes. 'And I know you're a gay teenager and I couldn't care less about you feeling horny.'

That's it, the boy would die of fever any moment now. Holy Mary and her untouched boobs, this was such a child.

(A child who had defeated you, a child who fought so bravely-)

He shook the thoughts away. 'I don't care if you can't help but have some sexual thoughts about me, being a teenager. I will be flattered even, that All Might's brat likes Tomura Shigaraki's cock.'

One really shouldn't be alive running such a fever.

'...Okay,' whispered Deku, a hint of pleading in his voice. 'Let's maybe... um, change the subject?'

'No,' said Tomura mercilessly. 'I want to know about this Bakugou boy and you?'

The kid was surprised. Did he really think Tomura would continue torturing him about that memory? Yeah, well, knowing Tomura, it could be expected.

'Um, I kinda... like him... But I have told you I don't want to pursue anything with anyone. He's not interested anyway.'

'You sure? He literally shielded you with his body.'

'That was something else,' replied Deku. 'He... has always felt guilty for bullying me when we were kids.' {'take a swan dive of the roof'}

(you're still kids- wait, what?)

'The fuck did he say to you?!' growled Tomura, now furious. (furious? Am I really so worked up over this kid? Fuck, whatever) 'And he is supposed to be a fucking hero?!'

'You just said he had shielded me with his body.'

Tomura shut up. So some little brat out there was having a redemption arc. Well, whatever. 'Remember,' He said instead. 'If you change your mind one day, I don't mind (I do) (shut the fuck up) going back to sleep. And I fucking mean it, I'm going back inside the moment I see you want to have some intimate life with someone, stupid hero. I'd hate to live in your mind knowing (I've ruined your life) I stand between you and some foul-mouthed ugly-looking ruffian.'

'He's not that ugly,' replied Deku smiling to himself. 'Do you want anything from me now? What do you want us to do?'

('Us', holy fuck, what was wrong with him)

Well, whatever, Tomura probably should get used to this kid.

(Twice, Twice had been also such a good person, and now he was dead, because Tomura had been a loser of a villain leader)

Tomura sighed and moved closer to the surface. He could see now that he was again in front of the window with the same view. That is, Deku was. It was dark.

'Show me the news?'

Deku obediently moved and froze.

'I- I can rearrange, um, things in my room...'

The little shit had apparently a little All Might's sanctuary here, Tomura saw.

'Can you go to the bathroom and vomit for me?'

'Hey, don't be like that,' {he loved your grandmother}

'What.'

'No, not like that!'

'Work on your choice of words, stupid.' Holy socks of the Prophet. Was here anything that wasn't All Might-themed? (don't make a dildo joke, Tomura, don't)

Deku bravely pretended he didn't hear that.

'He was... very shaken when he heard-'

'That I'm her grandson, I know. Glad to know he would be less shaken if I was just a random kid, or even better, a villain's grandson.'

Deku fell silent, unhappy, and Tomura felt irritated with himself, and then irritated that he got irritated over the brat's feelings. He said nothing that wouldn't be untrue after all.

'You can't save everyone...' the boy murmured sadly. 'So of course that you start with your family. You can't save the whole world, so you try to save those who are near. Of course it shakes him more to know you are a grandson of someone whom he loved.'

Tomura thought about his abusive father, thought about the rest of the family terrified of him, glad Tomura always had been taking the brunt of his anger.

...fine, maybe they weren't glad but they still wouldn't lift a finger, too afraid of the horrible man.

'That's what I mean. It's worse when the family fails you. And it's terrible when you see you failed your family.' Endeavor's image crossed the kid's mind, bloodied, transfixed, shock in his eyes.

'What's that memory?'

'It was when Dabi told him... who he was.'

Dabi... Dabi sometimes had been hinting that he had a horrible childhood. Tomura had seen Dabi's video. If it was the truth then Endeavor was the type of a person, a hero to that, Tomura hated most.

'It really wasn't like that,' protested Deku. 'From what Todoroki-kun told me, he was trying to make Touya stop burning himself. Touya wanted to become a Flame Hero, like Endeavor-san, and Endeavor-san was pushing him away, which caused...'

Dabi was always obsessive, Tomura had noticed that. He had been playing cool, and cold, and a little better than everyone else, above silly little people and their follies, but Tomura could see the madness in his eyes, could see the mania. If he had been like that as a kid... it must have hurt as hell to be pushed away by the beloved father.

'Who the fuck does that to their kid? My father also thought treating me like shit would be good for me. Would make me stop dreaming about becoming a hero.'

{You wanted to become a hero}

'Long time ago.'

'...Yeah, I am not saying he did no wrong,' continued Deku. 'But I saw his love for his kids, I saw his pain over what he had ruined...'

'Well, good for him,' said Tomura shrugging mentally. 'Not many see their own fuck-ups. Especially towards their children.'

'Yes,' agreed Deku. 'It's easy to be good, difficult to change from- I mean to rethink your values and morality.'

'I'll pretend you weren't thinking about me.'

'This is different!' the kid protested. 'You know- I mean, I know you're your own person now, but it was All for One's doing! What are you, twenty-one?'

'Let's not talk about it.' He knew the kid meant well, wanted to absolute him from his deeds, put them all on AfO's brainwashing and manipulation. Deku did not understand how badly Tomura hated the thought – that maybe no decision had ever been truly his own, that his whole life he had been just a puppet. Tomura'd prefer to be what he had been, a murderer-

{don't say that}

Tomura just huffed. 'You don't get it, do you.'

'I do, I-'

'No, you don't,' he snapped irritably. 'Enough of this pointless chattering. Show me the news.'

The boy obediently opened The Mainichi's website and started scrolling, waiting for anything to catch Tomura's attention.

The first came the usual – there had been an explosion in Minami-ku, someone apparently had been tinkering with the illegally gotten support items; there was a car crash, a villain's unsuccessful attempt to escape, apparently; there was a pretty obvious murder case.

Then came the politics – signing deals with foreign countries that now, only after the war had been finished, decided to reach out a lending hand.

Then...

''Are we going to victimize monsters?' The protest in Tokyo'

Tomura had a feeling he knew what this article would be about. 'Click on it.'

Izuku sighed. 'Don't pay heed to those... to some of the people.'

'The word is 'fucking morons'. Show me the article.'

The boy did it. 'Many are against the changes Hawks and some heroes {I} are trying to implement,' he said. 'To make the conditions in jails better. To shift our course to rehabilitation rather than punishment.'

'Fuck them.' Tomura concentrated on the text.

'The protest against a high-profile controversial court case of one of the main supporters of Kokushibo Shigaraki and Tomura Shigaraki to be held tomorrow in front of the Tokyo High and District Court is expected to gather more than a thousand demonstrators.

'This is a dark day for Japan if we search for excuses for murderers,' says Jin Sakamoto, a member of the Proud Japan party who intends to take part in the protest. 'Have we forgotten how many innocent citizens, our friends, our family members, died in the war started by those monsters?! What next? Excusing pedophiles saying they're just 'sick' and 'need treatment'?'

'You fucking hateful bitches,' thought Tomura with anger.

'This... 'victim of experiments' is either a thing, and therefore it should be treated as a thing, or they're a human being and should face the consequences of their deeds, just like any other human would,' says Kazue Houhito, the author of a popular blog 'Our Safe Children'. 'Have we forgotten he was one of the villains that attacked children learning to become future heroes in Yuuei? And if they acquit him, what will happen next? Will he be able to freely walk the streets? I do not want to play judge but I am simply worried for the safety of our children. Or else he is a killer, or he is programmed to kill.'

We have spoken about the apprehensive mood overcoming society with Ne Zu, the principal of Yuuei High School, one of the most ardent defendants of the villain.

''The villain,'' thought Tomura angrily. 'The court still hasn't ruled him to be one, you fuckers.'

Also, Ne Zu? The one whose very school had been attacked by them? (along with Eraser Head, the hero who had almost died there, at Tomura's Noumu hands).

'He knows what it means to have been experimented on,' Deku told him.

True. Tomura did not think about it that way. Honestly, whenever he had been thinking about Ne Zu, he mostly had been wondering if the rat hadn't/shouldn't hate the whole of humanity. He had not expected for a second Ne Zu's experience could have made the mammal more sympathetic. He definitely was unlike Tomura.

Deku hummed at that with wonder.

'Ah, yes, I'm a good person inside,' Tomura sneered.

'Considering how you behave towards me-'

'It's only because you're something completely else. Don't think I have changed. I-'

'So who you were before is you?'

Tomura knew what Deku meant. But he didn't feel like thinking about it right now. (what I was was a loser)

'You-'

'Shut up, let me read in peace.'

The boy fell quiet. He was awfully obedient. He really was doing his best to make Tomura comfortable. Stupid kid. He should do his best to make Tomura want to go back instead of encouraging him to dwell among his thoughts. Idiot, too good kid. He went back to Ne Zu's words.

'People, sadly, do not understand what All for One's experiments looked like. He was using fresh dead bodies to create whatever and whoever he needed. Imagine your beloved child killed by All for One because they happened to have a very useful Quirk, then brought back again to be brainwashed, manipulated, terrorized, often disfigured and maimed, to serve him in fear. If you knew this was your dead child, would you find him a villain or a victim?'

Damn, Tomura owed Ne Zu for this. These were smartly chosen... ...and truthful words.

'Ne Zu is a great principal.'

'Well, with him supporting Kurogiri I think some optimism about this case's outcome might be warranted,' murmured Tomura.

'Definitely! He is incredibly intelligent and knows many influential people here and overseas!'

Tomura got back to the article and froze internally noticing two words he hated so much. All Might.

'A villain is a person who chooses to do evil deeds. A person who does not have any choice is not one.'

Tomura felt personally offended now. Why the man he loathed so much had to be the one helping Kurogiri right now? Because he had no doubts the most popular hero's support could affect everything, from the very verdict, in this rotten enamored with heroes society, to the fact how Kurogiri would be treated afterwards.

'All Might is a good man,' murmured Deku.

'Yeah, yeah.'

He skimmed the rest of the short article – it added that due to the defendant's health reasons he would be represented by a chosen proxy.

'Health reasons?' he felt the anxiety rising. 'What did they do to Kurogiri?' He'd kill them. He'd find the way.

'No, no, not that kind of health problem!' Deku immediately replied. 'I asked Eraser Head more about Kurogiri after our last conversation, and he told me that Kurogiri has-' He stopped, realizing what he was about to say. But Tomura was literally in his mind, things wouldn't slip him by. Whatever was wrong with Kurogiri had been caused by his death, he could feel that from Deku's hushed thoughts.

There was the boy's guilt again. 'Well, Eraser Head said that he had started breaking down before, when he had started to recall memories of their friendship, of him being a hero-'

'A hero?' Tomura had never asked the Doctor who Kurogiri had been before. All that mattered to him was who he was now.

'Yes, his name was Oboro Shirakumo. He was a hero on a provisional license and he died {killed by AfO} during the work-studies. He was a good friend of Eraser Head.'

Tomura again recalled the memory, one of his last from actual life, of Kurogiri apologizing to Mic and Eraser Head. ...come to think he had been stuttering back then, completely unlike him. Tomura had thought it just had to do with the injuries he might have had.

'What do you mean 'breaking down'?'

'Eraser Head said Kurogiri had a very severe nervous breakdown. It started when he had begun to remember his past and went very grave when the... well, last battle began when he had to choose the side. And, then, you died. And Eraser Head said that from what he understood you were like {son} family to him. He said Kurogiri seemed crushed by guilt for your death, for the attack on Yuuei...'

Tomura just listened to this in shock. His Kurogiri, a former hero? A former Yuuei's brat? (killed by AfO?) Regretting the Yuuei attack, which was Tomura's plan? Come to think of it, he hadn't seemed overly enthusiastic about it back then, to say the least, he actually had been trying to talk Tomura out of it, back then, saying it was too risky. Tomura had been a huge dick towards him in response.

Fuck.

And now he was recalling who he had used to be and it was tearing him apart...?

He recalled Eraser's bloodied head. The hero had almost died during that attack. That he had recovered like he had, instead of being a goddamn disabled for the rest of his life was a goddamn miracle.

Of course, Kurogiri must have been thinking the same.

Fuck.

And he also felt fucking guilty for Tomura's- Of course he felt fucking guilty. No, not only guilty, he had to be fucking devastated by Tomura's death, of course he was. He remembered well Kurogiri patiently staying up by his bed whenever he had been feverish, or his skin itched too much to fall asleep, or when he had been plagued by nightmares. He remembered him tirelessly learning to cook the weirdest, most complicated dishes, only to make Tomura happy. He remembered how he hovered around worriedly, trying to stop Tomura from drinking too much coffee, from playing too long into the night, from scratching himself to blood.

All for One had always been reminding him that this was just a Noumu, that he was programmed to care for Tomura. It had broken Tomura the first time he heard it. He had thought he found an adult who truly loved him and it was a lie! He had been treating Kurogiri like shit for some years after that.

It had been only when he was a teenager that he realized how different Kurogiri was from other Noumus. He had realized it was a person and a person who truly did care for Tomura.

And now he knew well why All for One would tell him those lies – so that Tomura wouldn't love anyone other than his Sensei.

And now, in Kurogiri's mind, Tomura was dead. Dead because he had failed to protect him. That was surely how he was thinking right now.

He realized Deku was listening to all of this.

'Sorry, I-'

'Shut up,' he growled, feeling tired and guilty. His Kurogiri was tearing himself apart because Tomura let himself be killed. Because he naively let All for One take over his life and his body.

'It's not your fault, All for One-'

'Shut the fuck up.' He hesitated. 'We can't meet him?'

'Meet, probably we could.'

'I want to meet him.' Then he added, 'Please.'

Rushed thoughts, about how wired the high-security prisons were, and how could they tell Kurogiri-

'No,' sighed Tomura. 'They would notice. They would. They're not stupid in those prisons. Tartarus held AfO, after all, remember? They know what they're doing.' (I won't ruin your life, brat, and your fucking hero career, even for Kurogiri)

'But...'

'What will happen next, if the court judges him victim?'

'He needs to go to a mental facility.'

Fuck. 'They're gonna stuck him in a loony hospital to the end of his life!'

'No, of course not! Eraser Head would never let this happen! ...but he needs help, Tomura-san.'

'Just Tomura, for fuck's sake.'

'He needs it. Eraser Head said he was in a truly bad mental state but Ne Zu got him the best psychotherapist, who also was a psychiatrist, in Japan, and she managed to make him speak, which, he said, was a huge success. He wouldn't speak at all, before.'

Oh, fuck.

His Kurogiri.

'Please, bother All Might to pull all his strings for him, I beg you. Does he have a good lawyer?'

'The best.'

'Thank you. If he is judged victim and he heals, I'll do anything for you, brat, anything, I fucking swear.'

888

Notes:

Okay, about Ne Zu. I, like everyone, was calling him Nezu. But since this was supposed to be an excerpt from a newspaper I was like, wait, what is his actual surname? There is none. Makes no sense. If he is treated as a person, not as an animal, he has to have a first and last name. So wtf? Then I thought, wait, what if his actual name is Ne Zu (or Zu Ne, because in Japanese the order is reversed)? I thought this most plausible, so in this fic, he shall be called Ne Zu.
Also, I hope using the word 'disabled' here is okay. Tell me if it isn't.