Chapter 67: Spooky Shift
Since it's October, I'm going to do more Halloween related episodes. So here's a parody of one of my favorite episodes: Graveyard Shift
Ah, Gus' Games n Grub. Royal Woods' popular arcade and pizzeria, where it'll be closing time right about-
"Now!" Lori turns the open sign over to the closed sign. "8 o clock. So long suckers. I can't wait to watch that new episode of Dream Boat."
Then a man came and knocked on the door.
"What?" Lori said.
"Are you open?"
"Read the sign."
"I'll have a cheese pizza and some bread sticks."
"No you won't. I can't hang here all night. I've got a life."
"Well fine, if you don't want my money."
"Money?" The manager jumped onto Lori, crushing her. "You mean if we stay open longer, you'll give us your money?"
"Sure." The customer said as more customers showed up.
The manager ripped the closed sign in half. "Lori, welcome to the night shift. From now on, Gus' Games n Grub will be open twenty-four hours."
"What?!" Lori got back up as she was shocked. The customers ran inside, trampling Lori.
"Wow." Leni said excited. "Now we never have to stop working."
Lori got back up. "Sir-"
"See you in the morning girls." The manager said. "I can't hang here all night. I've got a life."
He left the arcade/pizzeria.
"But sir-"
"Isn't this great Lori?" Leni said excitedly. "Just you and me together for hours and hours and hours. And then the sun will come up and then it'll be tomorrow, and we'll still be working. (gasps) It'll be just like a sleepover. Only at a pizzeria!"
Leni goes onto the counter. "Are you ready to rock, Lori?"
"No." Lori said flatly.
"Good! Cause we've got customers!"
Leni goes into the kitchen. A female customer walks up to Lori.
"Here. Please knock me out." Lori said as she handed the customer a boxing glove.
"Psst!" Leni was seen through the kitchen window. "Lori, I'm working in the kitchen...at night."
"Don't hold back." Lori said to the customer as she pointed at her face.
"Lori, I'm tossing dough...at night." Leni said, playing the dough.
Then she was in the bathroom, mopping the floor. "Look at me, I'm mopping the bathroom! At night."
Then she burned her hand on the stove. "AAAH! I burned my hand!...At night."
At the counter, Leni took out her phone. "Let's take some nighttime selfies."
She started taking a bunch of selfies of herself and Lori. Lori grew more irritated.
"Pose. Pose. Pose. Pose."
"Will you please?!" Lori yelled. "Here. Give me a moment's peace and take out the trash."
Lori gave Leni a garbage bag.
"Alright." Leni started to head out with the bag. "I'm taking at the trash. Taking out the trash at ni-"
She stopped when she saw how dark it was outside and how far the dumpster was. "You mean outside?"
"Duh. That's where the dumpster is." Lori said.
"I don't know, Lori. It's kinda dark out there."
"But I thought you liked the night shift."
Leni got determined. "You're right. For Gus' Games n Grub!"
She frantically ran outside to the dumpster screaming, threw the trash inside the dumpster, and ran back inside the pizzeria. She breathed in and out, and then calmed down.
"Piece of cake." She said, snapping her fingers.
"So you're not afraid?" Lori questioned.
"Pff! Nah."
"Well, I am. Especially after-" Lori gulps. "-you know."
Leni turned to her sister. "What? What do I know?"
"You don't remember. It was literally all over the news."
"Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!" Leni begged.
"No, it would probably ruin the night shift for you." Lori smiles devilishly.
"What happened?! What happened?! What happened?!"
"You mean you never heard the story of...The Dough Flinging Pounder?"
"The Toe Dinging Flounder?" Leni mispronounced.
"The Dough Flinging Pounder." Lori repeated.
"The Snow Singing, The Row Clinging, The Show Dinging, Ringing, uh-"
"Yes, the Dough Flinging Pounder." Lori corrected. "But most people call him "The Do- (screams)" because that's all they literally have time to say before he gets them!"
Leni gasped. "Tell me the story!"
Lori told the story. "Years ago, at this very restaurant, the Dough Flinging Pounder used to be an employee just like you. Only clumsier."
Leni gulped.
"And then one night when he was pounding the dough, it happened."
"He forgot the tomato sauce?"
"No."
"He got germs on the food?"
"No."
"Irregular toppings?"
"No! With his spiky boxing glove, he cut his own hand off by mistake."
"You mean like this?" Leni ripped her arm like it was nothing. Lori was shocked and screamed.
"OMG! Leni! Are you ok?!"
"Relax Lori, it's fake. I won this from the claw machine. I should show this to Luan." Leni put her real arm out and put the fake arm away. "Continue."
Lori was relieved and continued the story. "And he replaced his hand with a rusty boxing glove. Then he got hit by a bus! And at his funeral, they fired him! So now every-what day is it?"
"Saturday."
"Saturday night, his ghost returns to Gus' Games n Grub to wreak his horrible vengeance."
Leni gasps. "But tonight's Saturday night."
"Then he'll be coming."
"How will we know?"
"There are three signs that signal the approach of the Dough Flinging Pounder. First, you'll hear the sound of his werewolf howl. Next-"
"Hey, do you have any soda?" A customer walked up to Lori.
"Sorry, we're all out."
"Dang it." He walked away.
Lori continued. "Now where was I...next, the phone will ring and nobody will be there."
Lori pointed to the pizzeria phone. Leni bites her nails in fear. "And finally, the Dough Flinging Pounder will arrive in the ghost of the bus that ran him over. Then he'll exit the bus and cross the street without looking both ways because he's already dead!"
Leni was eating breadsticks as she kept listening to the story.
"Then he taps on the window with his iron boxing glove."
"No." Leni said frightened.
"He opens the door." Lori makes a creaking sound as she pretends to open a door.
"He slowly approaches the counter." She said as she creepily got closer to Leni, who backed away. "Then you know what he does next."
"What?"
"You really want to know?"
"What?"
"Are ya sure you want to know?"
"What?! What does he do?!"
"He gets you!" Lori sneaked up behind her sister and poked her back, scaring her. Leni screamed and Lori laughed hard, then wiped a tear from her eye. Leni was curled in a ball, rocking back and forth and whimpering.
"Leni, come on Leni. Snap out of it."
Leni was still scared.
"Leni, I was joking!" Lori confessed. "That wasn't a true story!"
Leni calmed down. "...It wasn't?"
"Of course not. Nobody has a boxing glove for a hand. It was all a joke."
Leni realized. "Oh...That was like, pretty good Lori. You sure had me scared for a moment." She started laughing.
"Yeah, I really had you fooled." Lori said and laughed with Leni.
Later that night, the sky was green and it was a little foggy. At Gus' Games n Grub, there was a neon lit sign that read "Open Forever." Inside, the arcade area was completely empty and there were no customers in the pizzeria. Lori was at the counter, reading a magazine. Then she heard the sound of a chainsaw. She looked around. Leni was seen through the kitchen window, cutting pepperoni meat with a chainsaw.
"Leni! LENI!"
Leni turned it off and looked at Lori.
"What are you doing?"
"Cutting the pepperoni."
"With a chainsaw?!"
"Oh, is that what it's called? I thought this was some kind of knife." Leni put the chainsaw away. Lori facepalmed and went back to the counter.
"Open twenty four hours. What a stupid idea." Lori complained. "I mean who wants a pizza at 3 AM?"
We cut to the Loud house, where Lynn suddenly wakes up. "Oh boy! 3 AM!" She gets a slice of pizza from her drawer and eats it. We cut back to Gus' Games n Grub.
"Just look at this place!" Lori said. "It's like a ghost town in here."
Then she heard a werewolf howl and was not amused. "Very funny, Leni."
Leni was out of the kitchen now. "What?"
"You'll hear the sound of a werewolf howl, just like in the story. I get it."
But Leni wasn't the one howling and Lori realized this.
"Hey Lori, how are you doing that without moving your lips?"
"I'm not doing it. It must be one of those stupid arcade games." Then the phone rang and Lori answered it. "What? What?...Hello?"
"Nice try, Lori." Leni said.
"Nice try what?"
"The phone will rang and nobody will be there." Leni chuckles. "You crack me up."
"Leni, I'm not doing this!" Lori hangs up and starts to panic. "Ok, calm down Lori. Calm down. Alright, what was it? First, the werewolf howl."
She hears the werewolf howl again.
"Then the phone." The phone rang again. Then she smelled anchovies. "And then the smell of anchovies will fill the air! Oh wait, that always happens. But what was that third thing?"
Then she saw the bus arriving and looked worried.
"Hey, I didn't know the buses ran this late." Leni said.
"They don't." Lori said worried.
"Well, They're dropping someone off."
A man came out of the bus, but he was not clearly seen in the dark. It looked like he had red eyes and he showed his iron spiky boxing glove. Lori screamed in terror.
"The Toe Singing, The Snow Ringing, The Glow Pinging-!" This time Lori couldn't pronounce it right.
"The Dough Flinging Pounder!" Leni said scared, and started crying.
"At last, you understand! We're doomed!"
"No, that's not it. I am just so touched that you would go through the trouble of dressing up as a ghostly chef and go stand at the other side of the street, just to entertain me! You must really love me!"
"Leni, there's a problem with your theory. How can that be me when I'm standing right here?!"
The man walked up to the restaurant and tapped on the glass door. Leni screamed in terror.
"The Dough Flinging Pounder!" Both sisters yelled. The man entered the pizzeria as Lori and Leni panicked. The two hugged each other tightly.
"Leni, I know we fight sometimes but you've always been my favorite sibling!"
"Lori, I used your golf club to unclog the toilet!"
"Wait, what?"
As the sisters panicked, the man came out of the darkness and was revealed to be a human. Lori and Leni saw this and stopped panicking.
"Hi, can I have a job application?" He said in a dorky voice. "I brought my own oven mitt. I called earlier but I hung up cause I was nervous."
"Do you have references?" Leni asked.
"Wait-" Lori said. "-if that was you on the phone and you on the bus, then who was doing the werewolf howl?"
The three of them hear the werewolf howl and notice someone by the front door. It was Lucy! She was doing the howl.
"Oh, Lucy." Lori, Leni, and the man said in unison. Lucy smiled and vanished.
