Chapter 68: Flip Lives Again

A requested parody, which is a parody of the episode: Born Again Krabs

This fanfic originally had Lola as Mr. Krabs, but I decided to use Flip cause he's more greedy and fits better as Krabs.

At Flip's Food n Fuel, Flip was giving away free samples. That's right, FREE samples. It was a once a year thing. He made "Flippy weiners on a stick", which is what he called them.

"Flippy weiners on a stick!" He announced into a megaphone, but he struggled to say "free". "Get your f-f-f-free fresh, Flippy wieners on a stick!"

Lincoln and Clyde were getting Flippees, and heard this.

"Well, that's rare. Since when does Flip give away something for free?" Clyde wondered.

"I guess it's an occasional thing." Lincoln thought.

Lincoln and Clyde went over to try a sample.

"Mmm...this isn't bad, Flip." Lincoln commented.

"It's a new sensation to my taste buds." Clyde commented.

"Enjoy it while you can, cause it's the only free thing you'll ever get." Flip said.

"Ok, let me pay for these Flippees." Lincoln got out this wallet and pulled out some money, but he dropped a quarter and it rolled under the counter. "Whoops."

He looked under the counter, but noticed something else. "Huh? It's a hot dog." He picked it up but it's stuck to some gum. "Eww...it's cold and hard."

He took it out from under the counter. "Hey Flip, this could have rolled under here years ago. You should throw it away."

"Throw it away? And lose you 5.2 cents? No way. Give it here."

Lincoln gave the old hot dog. "But Flip, I found that under the counter."

"And a customer will find it in his bun."

"But it's old and cold. And so very full of mold."

"Well, you're not buying another one into this one is sold. Understand?"

"Oh boy. I can't wait to see how this turns out." Clyde said to Lincoln.

Minutes later…

A customer comes in, and it's Chaz.

"Hey kid, can I interest you in a special hot dog?" Flip said.

"Chaz loves dogs."

Flip offered him the spoiled hot dog. "Here you are. That'll be $1.75."

Chaz sniffed it. He screamed and was so disgusted that he quickly backflipped his way out of the mini mart.

Several days have passed and Flip is outside his mini mart, and has been waiting for customers to show up. Lincoln and Clyde came over to see the progress.

"I don't understand it." Flip said. "I haven't had a customer in days. Maybe it's the new placemats."

Lincoln facepalmed and Clyde was so frustrated by Flip's stupidity.

"Wha-(stutters) Placemats? Have you lost your mind? It's that old hot dog you kept trying to sell to everyone! It's gone bad."

"Clyde's right." Lincoln said.

"Gone bad? Nonsense. I'll prove it's still good." Flip went to get the rotten dog, which was now in a cage. It barked and growled like a real dog.

"Uh, did it just bark?" Lincoln questioned.

"Ok, it's a little cranky but it won't do much harm."

The hot dog growled at Lincoln and Clyde, then bit on the cage bars. Lincoln was freaked out and Clyde hid behind him.

"You two wouldn't have lasted in the military." Flip said. "Now let's see how bad you really are."

He took the hot dog out of its cage but it barked and growled in his face. "No…no…" The hot dog bites at him more. "Stay…" It stays. "Atta girl." Flip gives it a doggie treat and it eats it. Flip pets it. "There there. See? Good enough to eat."

Flip is about to eat it when an ambulance comes by. "Oh, look, an ambulance. Now then-" He takes a bite out of the hot dog. We cut to him being taken to the hospital as his skin is now green since he got food poisoning. He moans as two paramedics are carrying him on a gurney. Lincoln followed them.

"Hey kid, make sure you wrap up that hot dog for me." Flip said. "I'm not done with it yet!"

The gas station owner was taken away.

"He still wants the hot dog?" The white haired boy questioned.

Flip is lying on a hospital bed. The doctor is checking on him.

"Well Flip, you gave us quite a scare." He said.

"So I'm gonna be ok, doc?"

"Well, if you don't want to take my word for it, let's just check your chart." He checks the chart." Let's see here...hmm. (gasps) Oh no. Oh no! This is terrible!" The doctor starts to panic.

"Everything ok doc?" Flip asked with concern.

The doctor drops his clipboard. "Don't touch me!" He runs away, panicking.

"That's not a good sign." Then to Flip's surprise, a ghostly cloud appears with an evil laugh. The cloud brings in Grandma Harriet!

"Oh no, it's the ghost lady!" Flip cowered in fear.

"Your time has come, Flip!" Harriet said.

"I'm not Flip! I'm...uh, Howard-" She sees a vase of flowers next to her. "-Flower. Yeah, that's it."

"Oh, sorry. I must have the wrong room." Harriet goes over to the nurse. "Excuse me, nurse?"

"Yes."

"I'm looking for Flip."

"Oh, he's in that room right over there."

Flip looks worried.

"No, that's Howard Flower's room." Harriet said.

"Howard Flower?"

Grandma Harriet came back to Flip. "So you thought you could fool Grandma Harriet, huh?"

"What do you want from me?!"

"I'm here to escort you to the resting place where all bad folks go. The Stinky Pit!"

"The Stinky Pit?! Why do I have to go there? I'm not a bad guy!"

"But you were selfish. And being selfish is a terrible thing. Next stop, the Stinky Pit!" The ghostly lady cackles and takes the greedy man to the underworld where the Stinky Pit is located.

"Here we are!" Harriet pointed to the pit.

Flip smelled something foul. "Blech! Why does it smell so foul?"

"The guy who made this pit throws all kinds of stinky stuff in here." Harriet explained. "It's called "The Stinky Pit" for a reason. Now get in."

Flip started to cry. "Please, Grandma Harriet! I don't want to go in there! I'll do anything! Please! Give me another chance!"

"Oh come on Flip, show a little dignity."

"Mommy!" Flip bawled.

"Alright, stop your cryin." Harriet said. "I'll give you another chance."

Flip stopped crying. "Really?"

"Yes. But you must always be generous. Never selfish."

"You've got it, Granny."

At Flip's Food and Fuel, the place is dilapidated and a sign hangs over it that says "Out Of Business". Lincoln and Clyde had taken over the place. Clyde is drinking a mega Flippee. "Ah, that was the best Flippee I've ever had."

Lincoln looked sad. "The free Flippees were nice and all, but I'm worried about Flip."

"Lincoln, the doctor said Flip isn't coming back. I'm sorry, but I think it's best if we forget about-"

Suddenly, Flip came in. "Hey boys!"

Lincoln screamed with joy. "Flip, I knew it! You're alive! Clyde, isn't this too good to be true?"

"Yes, it is." Clyde admitted, but was also happy to Flip. "Welcome back, Flip."

"You know, being sick made me do a lot of thinking." Flip stated. "I've been really greedy in the past. My whole life has been about money. Saving money, collecting money." He mimicked being infatuated to money. "Touching money…" He returned to normal talking. "Well, you get the picture. But no more. From now on, you're looking at the new and improved non-cheap Flip."

Outside Flip's store, there was a giant "Grand Re-Opening" sign hanging above the place. 'Buy' and 'Free' signs are in the window.

"Welcome all, welcome!" Flip announced. There were a lot more customers this time. A little boy walked up to Flip. "Hello, little one. Whaddya got there?"

"A Flippee."

Flip laughed. "Of course, you do! You know what that means, right?"

"I don't go hungry?"

"No, silly! It means you get a free toy!" He gave him a little toy.

"Gee, thanks Flip. I thought you were a cheap, old tightwad."

"I was, son. I was." Flip made another announcement. "Free toys for everyone! And free refills!"

Everyone cheered. Flip ran up to Lincoln. "Hey Lincoln! Say, where's that friend of yours?"

"Clyde? Oh, he's in the "Nacho cheese hot tub" out back."

Cut to Clyde relaxing in the tub full of nacho cheese.

"Great!" Flip said joyfully.

"Excuse me, but I dropped my hot dog." Mr. Grouse said to Flip. "Could I get another one?"

"The Flip's Food and Fuel policy clearly states that once the customer buys food, it is his/her responsibility...wait, that's the old policy. I'll bring you a fresh one."

Flip got another hot dog for Grouse. "Here you are, sir."

"Thanks."

"Oh, and here's a free toy." Flip gave Grouse a Flip toy. Mr. Grouse looked confused.

"Thanks?"

Clyde came back in, wearing his swim trunks. "Flip, my man."

"Clyde! How's the nacho cheese hot tub?"

"It was a great idea. I'm gonna take some chips back with me, if that's okay."

"Sure thing, kid. Have fun."

Clyde winked and walked off. Flip walked up to a customer on a Flippee cup kiddie ride. "Enjoying the Flippee Rocket Ride?"

"I'm having a blast! Into space!" The teen said excitedly.

"No expense spared for my valued customers."

Cut to Flip and Lincoln standing in front of the mart. "Look at all those happy faces. It sure does feel good to be generous."

Clyde came in with some envelopes. "Here's your mail, Flip."

Flip took the mail. "Thanks, Clyde. You look relaxed."

"The cheese actually feels good on my skin." Clyde rubbed his skin.

Flip looked through his mail. "Credit card bills. Well, I knew this was coming. Let's see what the damage is." He opened an envelope. "Only ten thousand dollars. That's not so bad."

He ran up to the cash register. "I'll just subtract it from today's profit." He opened the register, but it's empty. "And...there's no money in here." He laughed. "How delightful."

"Clyde, I'm worried about Flip." Lincoln said.

"Me too." Clyde replied. "How are we going to get more Flippees if he doesn't make more money?"

The two boys walk up to the owner.

"Gee, Flip, you sure are taking total bankruptcy well." Clyde said.

"Oh, it's just a bad dream. I'll wake up soon.

Lincoln and Clyde look at each other surprised.

"Uh…"dream"?" Clyde questioned.

"Sure. I'm still in the hospital sleeping like a baby!"

"Umm, you checked out of the hospital this morning." Lincoln mentioned.

"Here's the bill." Clyde handed Flip the bill from earlier.

"You mean...I'm awake?" Flip screamed in terror. He goes up to a group of customers drinking Flippees and confiscates their cups. "No more refills!"

Then he ran up to a group of kids playing with toys. He steals them also."Gimme back those toys, you freeloaders!"

He then ran over to the guy riding on the kiddie ride from earlier. "Ride's over, cheapskate!" He tugged the ride back and launched the customer off.

"Hey, it's my lucky day, a penny!" One customer reached for a penny on the ground, but Flip grabbed his arm.

"Your luck just ran out!"

"Hey, man, ease back. You're crushing my arm."

"Unhand that penny, or the arm comes off."

Suddenly, Grandma Harriet reappeared. The customers ran off in fear. (except Lincoln and Clyde) "A-ha! That little display of parsimonious penny pinching just earned you a nice little spot in The Stinky Pit... For eternity!"

"I'm not cheap, I'm generous."

"You almost tore a man's arm off for a penny." Clyde pointed out.

"Thanks, kid, I knew I could count on you." Flip said sarcastically. Harriet picked him up. "Well, a deal's a deal. Let's go."

"Wait just a flippin' second!" Lincoln called.

The ghost lady turned around. "Who dares back-sass Great Grandma Harriet?"

"That would be your great grandson, Lincoln Back-sass Loud. I say you've got the wrong guy. This guy is the most generous, big-hearted, non-skinflinted store owner in town."

Flip is happy at Lincoln's words.

"He'd sell your soul for a couple of bucks." Harriet said.

"I bet my soul he wouldn't."

"You've got yourself a deal. Ok Flippy, I'll let you stay." Harriet puts him down. "But first, help me settle a bet. If you had to choose between this kid and all the money I have in my pocket, which would you choose?"

"That depends." Flip said. "How much money are we talking about?"

"Flip!" Lincoln exclaimed.

"Sixty two cents." Harriet showed him the money.

"I'll take the money." Flip said.

"Flip!" Lincoln said shocked.

Harriet gave her the money."Here ya go, Flip. Sixty two cents." She took her grandson. "Next stop, The Stinky Pit!"

Lincoln screamed. The ghost vanished with the white haired boy, leaving Clyde shocked at the fact that he lost his best friend.

"Look Clyde, money!" Flip said happily.

"Flip, I cant believe what you just did!" Clyde scolded him. "How could you trade Lincoln for sixty two cents?!"

"You think I could've gotten more?"

"He stood up for you and you sold him out. You should be ashamed of yourself!"

The greedy owner gasped in realization. "What have I done?" He cried. "I want another chance! I didn't learn anything! I lost a loyal customer! I don't want this lousy money!" He threw it away. "I want Lincoln back!"

Then Harriet comes back with Lincoln and sets him down. But he smelled really bad. "Here. Take him!"

"You heard what I said about the money?"

"Yes, and I realized it's wrong to imprison my own grandson for eternity. Plus, he smells really bad now."

"I'll need to take a shower." Lincoln said.

"Well, I guess you learned your lesson. I'm outta here." Harriet laughed wickedly and vanished.

"Uh, hey, about trading you for money-"

"Say no more, Flip. You did it for Flip's Food and Fuel. I would've done the same."

"You would have?"

"No."

They all laugh.