Chapter 56: Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack 4

Here's a parody of Mermaidman and Barnacleboy 4. This chapter is also dedicated to their voice actors, Tim Conway and Ernest Borgnine, who have both passed away. They both did an amazing job voicing these two elderly heroes, and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Ah, Gus Games n Grub. Through these doors pass all kinds of citizens.

"Through the double doors! Away!"

And also, these old coots. Ace Savvy has bursted through the doors with his sidekick, One Eyed Jack in pursuit.

"I told you I'm not hungry, Ace Savvy."

"Nonsense, One Eyed Jack. We've got to keep up our strength for the fight against EVIL!"

"What a dive."

"To the register, away!"

The two elderly heroes go up to Lori, who's at the counter. "Can I help you?"

"Yes, we'd like a large pizza with pepperoni and sausage." Ace Savvy said. "Oh, and onions for the young lad."

"I don't want onions." Jack argued. He looked at Lori. "I don't like onions, but he always wants me to eat healthy."

"Whatever." Lori said. "That'll be ten dollars."

"You've got it ma'am." Ace got out his wallet and took out a metal nut. "Will this cover it?"

"...No."

"Listen blondie, that guy's been saving your butt longer than you were born." One Eyed Jack said. "Don't you have a living legend discount or something?"

"This is a restaurant, not a lending library Big nose."

Lori and One Eyed Jack glared at each other.

"Next time danger threatens don't expect any help from us." One Eyed Jack paid her ten bucks and walked away.

"I'm shaking." Lori said sarcastically. "Humph. Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack think they're so amazing."

Suddenly, Lincoln appeared next to Lori when he heard the name of his favorite superheroes. "Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack are here? Must get autograph!"

Lincoln took Lori's notepad and pen.

"If you want to grow up big and strong like me," Ace removed his belt, releasing his big belly. "you've got to make room for seconds. Here comes our waiter."

Lincoln is seen running up to the two at a rapid speed, making a weird face. "Auuutograaaaaph!"

"Holy cow, it's that white haired kid!" Jack exclaimed.

"Quick lad! To the invisible convertible!" Ace Savvy gets up and his pants fall down. "Away!"

The elderly men head outside. They see a bunch of cars.

"Where did we park?" Jack asked.

"Uhhhh."

Lincoln goes up to the table they sat at. "Can I have your autograph? Oh, they're gone." He sees Ace Savvy's belt. "Ace Savvy's belt!"

Outside, Ace Savvy got an idea. "Wait! We'll find it with the invisible car alarm!"

He takes out the alarm and presses it. Their convertible is seen for a brief moment. "There she is!"

They jump into the vehicle and Jack injured his butt. "Ow! I told you we should've gotten the automatic."

"Hey guys, I've got something for you!" Lincoln yelled as he was seen running in slow motion.

"Floor it!" Jack said. Ace drove the convertible and they went off.

"You forgot your belt!" Lincoln held out the belt. "You forgot your-"

The two heroes were gone. Lincoln looked at the belt. There was the letter A on the belt, obviously Ace's first initial. "Ace Savvy's secret utility belt. I have one just like this, but this one is real. The emblem of justice! For sixty five years, this belt has helped prevent the fall of nations...and pants. I can't believe I'm actually holding it in my hands. Well, I guess I should return it."

He was about to head after the heroes, but then he rushed back inside the pizzeria and went into the bathroom. "Or not. I might as well hold onto it for a little while, then I'll return it."

He put an out of order sign on the bathroom door and went back inside. "There. Now I'm all alone with Ace Savvy's belt. I wonder what this button does."

Lincoln pressed the A shaped button on the belt, shooting a laser beam at the mirror. This caused the mirror to shrink.

"Whoa. The small ray." Lincoln was amazed as he picked up the small mirror. He smiles mischievously as he got an idea. Lori was heading to the woman's bathroom and then she heard a flashing sound.

"What the-"

She heard another one and found out it was coming from the men's room. "Hey, what's going on in there?"

Inside, Lincoln had shrunk everything else. The toilets, the sinks, etc. He heard Lori and started to panic.

"Uh, just the bathroom repairman." Lincoln said in a fake voice. "I'm fixing the toilets."

"Lincoln, is that literally you?"

"Um, yes."

"What are you up to?"

Lincoln popped his head out. "Nothing!What makes you think I'm up to something?"

Lori pulled him out and noticed the belt. "What is that?"

"Nothing important."

"Let me see it."

"No!"

"Let me see!"

"No!" Lincoln tried to run away but Lori caught him and the belt. She gasps.

"Is that Ace Savvy's belt?"

"Yes!" He took it back.

"Wow. I can't believe he lend it to you."

"Yeah. Me neither." Lincoln said nervously.

"Wait, he didn't lend it to you, did he?"

"Please don't tell."

"You stole it from him!"

"Please don't tell!"

"I'm afraid I have to, little bro."

"Lori, If Ace Savvy finds out, he'll kick me out of his fan club for sure. Please don't tell!"

Lori got out her phone. "Here's my phone."

"Lori, don't!"

"I have the number for the retirement home."

"No!"

"I'm dialing the number."

"I'm begging you!"

"Hello?" Lori called. "I'd like to speak to Ace-"

Lincoln zapped Lori with the belt, causing her to shrink down. She falls to the ground and her phone lands beside her.

"Hello? Hello?" Ace Savvy's voice is heard from the phone.

"What did you do to me?!" Lori exclaimed.

"I'm sorry Lori, but you made me do it." Lincoln said.

"Lincoln, If you don't return me back to normal size right now, you are literally gonna be in really big trouble!"

"Uh...ok, uh.."

"I said now!"

Lincoln saw so many buttons on the belt and he wasn't sure which one to use.

"Do you hear me?!" Lori yelled. Lincoln zapped her and she had snakes on her head. "OMG! Get them off me! Get them off me!"

She threw the snakes off. "Don't you know how to work that thing?"

"Uh, I've got this Lori!" Lincoln zapped her a bunch of times. Her head turned into the shape of a volcano as lava poured out of it, then she had a pear shaped head (like the one she had as a baby), then she turned into an alien, then into a paper drawing of herself which ripped in half, and etc.

"Stop!" Lori shouted as she turned back to her normal body, but she was still small. "I've got an idea. Let's call Ace Savvy and-"

"NO!" Lincoln grabbed Lori. "I can't let you do that! But there must be someone else who can help. Someone smart and wise, with years of life experience."

Leni is seen ordering somewhere. "I'd like one cherry pie please."

It's revealed she's at an ice cream truck.

"Ma'am, this is an ice cream truck." The ice cream man said. "I don't sell pies."

"But your sign says Frozen Desserts."

"As in ice cream desserts."

"Oh." Leni realized. Then Lincoln ran up to her.

"Leni, Leni!"

"Oh, hi Lincoln."

"Leni, I was at Gus Games n Grub and Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack came and I got this belt and, look!" Lincoln took Lori out of his pocket.

"Cool! A Lori action figure!" Leni said excited. "Can I play with it?" She took Lori.

"Leni, wait!"

"Fighter pilot!" Leni started playing with Lori as if she was a real toy. "Dive bomb!"

"Leni!"

"And here comes a giant fist!"

Lori screams.

"Leni no! That's not an action figure! That's the real Lori! I shrunk her by accident!"

"Oh...and here comes a giant-"

"Wait! You don't understand! This is serious! I don't know how to unshrink her! She could be stuck like this for the rest of her life!"

"Well, I wouldn't worry about it." Leni assured. "She could move into my old dollhouse and she would be with someone her own size, like one of my boy dolls."

"My Boo Boo Bear is the only man for me." Lori said. "Besides, I can't be in a relationship with a doll."

"Oh, if I only knew how to work this thing." Lincoln said as he examined the belt.

"Let me take a look at it." Leni inspected the belt. "Hmm...you know what the problem is?"

"What?"

"You've got it set to A for abnormal size when it should be set to V for Volorbal size." Leni turned the A button upside down.

"Leni, I don't think Volorbal is a real word." Lincoln said.

"Oh come on. I volorbal. You vovorbal. Me and she vovorbal. Vovorbaled. Vovorbaling-"

"I wonder if falling from this height would be enough to kill me." Lori said to herself.

"Volorbalology, the study of volorbal. It's first grade Lincoln."

"Leni, I'm sorry I doubted you." Lincoln said.

"Well, alright then. Let a rip."

Lincoln pressed the button and it zapped both Lori and Leni.

"It worked!" Leni said. But it turns out Leni shrunk too.

"Oh no!" Lincoln said worried. He picked up his older sisters.

"Lincoln, you're giant!" Leni said. "Can I be giant next?"

"Leni, I'm not giant, you shrunk too!"

"No way! Does that mean Lori and I can live in a dollhouse? Maybe we can hang out with cute boy dolls."

"Hey!" Lori got Lincoln's attention. "Now will you take us to Ace Savvy?"

"No! He can never find out! But I'll think of something. I promise. Until then you'll be safe in this jar." Lincoln got out a jar and put his sisters inside it.

"Hmm, I like the look of this place." Leni said. "It's kinda small and bland."

"It's only two people!" Lincoln said as he became more worried. "No big deal, nobody else saw it!"

Then Lynn showed up. "Hey Lincoln!"

Lincoln got startled and zapped her, making her small. She fell to the ground.

"What the-what did you just do to me?"

"Sorry Lynn." Lincoln picked her up. "Ace Savvy came and-"

"Howdy Linc!" Liam walked over. Lincoln got startled and shrunk him as well.

"Hey Lincoln!" Rusty walked up to him and Lincoln shrunk him.

"Hi Lincoln!" Stella walked over and she got shrunken. Lincoln panicked and walked away.

"Hello Lincoln!" Mrs. Johnson got shrunken.

"Yo Lincoln!" Sam got shrunken. Lincoln continued to shrink more people throughout the town.

Lincoln had now shrunken everyone as he tried to push them all into the jar. He managed to do so. "Phew. I'm gonna need a bigger jar."

"Lincoln, will you just face facts?" Lori said. "You've shrunken everyone in Royal Woods! You've got to go to Ace Savvy!"

"Oh Lori, he'll be so disappointed!"

"Well, you can't leave us small forever!" Lynn said.

"You don't understand!"

"Lincoln Loud, I should ground you for this." Rita scolded. "You need to admit your mistake."

"Lincoln, listen to your mother." Lynn Sr. Said.

"Mom? Dad?"

"Your parents are right, son." Ace Savvy said. "Ace Savvy will understand."

"You're Ace Savvy, you old coot." One Eyed Jack reminded him.

"Oh yeah."

"Ace Savvy, I'm so sorry. It's just that I'm a big fan and your belt, and-"

"Aw, don't worry son. I understand. Why, I remember when I first used the belt the year was ninety aught eleven teen twelve. Why I believe the president-"

"JUST TELL HIM HOW TO UNSHRINK US!" The other citizens yelled.

"Oh yes, the unshrink ray. Let's see...uh, did you set it to volorbal?"

"WHAT?!" Suddenly, the angry citizens burst out of the jar. "Get Lincoln!"

They charge over to the white haired boy and climb onto him.

"Now I have can't drive my car and it would take me five miles to go the bathroom in my own home!" Mr. Grouse punched Lincoln in the stomach.

"And I'm gonna need an escalator to reach the food in our fridge." Lynn bit Lincoln on the butt.

"We've been shrinking for years." Ace Savvy said.

"But this is ridiculous." One Eyed Jack said. They both went into one of Lincoln's ears. Everyone was attacking Lincoln.

"EVERYTHING'S TOO BIG!"

Lincoln got an idea. "I've got it! Lisa, do you have that enlargement ray?"

"It's in my room and it hasn't been tested yet." Lisa stated.

"Well, it's time to test it!"

"It appears we have no other option." Lisa said. "Very well then."

"Great. I'll be right back! Everyone stay here!" Lincoln ran off.

Lincoln came back with the enlargement ray. "Ok, I got it!"

"Make sure to select the right option." Lisa instructed.

Lincoln saw the options: Human size and monster size. He turned the dial to human size and blasted the citizens. They went back to their normal sizes.

"Eureka! It worked!"

"Good work Lincoln!" Stella commented. Everyone cheered. Lincoln gave the belt back to Ace Savvy.

"I believe this belongs to you."

"Thanks son. Back to the retirement home, away!" Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack headed off. Lincoln went to his parents.

"So am I grounded now?"

"Nah, I think you've learned your lesson." Rita said.

"And everyone's back to normal." Lynn Sr. said.

The citizens walked off to do their own things, but no one heard a voice calling out. "Hey! Hey! Down here!"

Lena Shroud is shown. She is still tiny. "You forgot about me! I command you to come back! Come back!...Curse you Lisa!"